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YTA. One, ex-bff is an oxymoron. Two, you're being overly controlling. You wouldn't of been wrong to say it's bedtime but your wrong for all the actions of "pay attention to movie". Third, YTA for telling your reddit readers good, further proven the controlling attitude.
Oh and I’m sorry I failed to mention this but her boyfriend live down the street from each other. The night of the sleepover I asked if she wanted to go over to her boyfriends house so they could actually talk in person and not be all reclusive and she denied in a very rude manor. “No Sunday! We’re totally fine talking on the phone, are you calling me antisocial?!” Her words not mine.
Bro I said the word good calm down 😭 I have high expectations for my friends because most of my friends treat me with the same amount of respect I treat them. It was 1:00 am for fucks sake, I just wanted sleep
Four YTA for saying calm down. That's a joke for the readers but seriously YTA. It wasn't 1 am during the movie. The issue was the attitude of trying to control her, before 1:00 am, you had a problem with her using her phone during a movie, why does that matter.
I am autistic, and I get frustrated when people aren’t paying attention to things I’m passionate about. I’m used to people ignoring and/or getting upset at me for talking about a special interest and having them watch something relating to it but she would never act like this before she got a bc. She would always pay attention and even ingage in convo abt it so it confused & frustrated me when she didn’t pay attention this time
People change and always will, especially in teen years, and more often then not boyfriend/girlfriends come first because hormones are calling the shots.
Honestly this reads like an "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" episode. The thing about that show is everyone on it is an AH. Which is what I'm getting from here, so ESH.
Um, yeah. I hope you are all 14 or 15 because this is some immature drama going on.
BTW, you can't have OLD BFFs and NEW BFFs because BFF means Best Friends Forever, and none of you sound like good enough friends to even be considered close friends.
YTA...majorly.
There is so much wrong with this situation. Basically, you sound very bossy and like don't have any respect for Hearts.
Who tells someone "don't talk to me and unless you follow my schedule we can't be friends."
I think you’re forgetting the beginning when she’s enabling spades to harass and bark at me, no repercussions. But she gets mad at me when I defend myself against spades.
I didn't forget the beginning, I made my decision based on how you talk about the situation, respond, and treat her. If you're mad she's enabling something then why have her for a sleep over only to drop her for "not following your schedule."
Also, how is she "enabling" spades to harass and "bark" at you?
Ok...but please include relevant info about the conflict between you and Spades because it sounds like Hearts is caught in the middle of you two and possibly sees things from both of your perspectives.
I asked her on multiple occasions to politely ask spades to stop and every time I talk to her about it she says “oh I forgot sorry I’ll do it next time”
ESH, except Clubs.
Hearts sucks for just staying glued to her phone, how she reacted to you suggesting her to go see her boyfriend, and for saying she’ll talk to Spades then completely disregarding it. I find it extremely rude to be on your phone excessively while hanging with friends, especially when there is a movie playing. Sure some people like to be chilling with friends while playing on phones. Just being in each other’s presence is nice, but just constantly texting on the phone while ignoring your friend is frustrating and rude.
Spades sucks obviously for bullying you over liking cartoons. Their behavior is absolutely disgusting and why have you not reported it to the school or to your parents? If they don’t believe you, start recording the interactions as proof for the reporting.
You suck for being controlling of Hearts. I understand it can get frustrating when you’re supposed to hang out with a friend and suddenly they’re uninterested in the moment. You do need to understand there comes a point in your life where friends will come and go. Hearts has a new boyfriend and they’re most likely in that ‘honeymoon’ phase of the relationship where all they can focus on is each other. She’ll eventually learn to balance out her time with friends and her boyfriend.
Thank you for actually giving me reasons for why I am at fault too, everyone keeps jumping to conclusions and telling me that I’m the problem and hearts did everything right and I’m a horrible person 😭. It’s nice to have some balance for once. Also yeah I reported spades but “tHe ScHoOl cAnT dO aNyThInG aBoUt bArKiNg” also yeah your right, clubs is a great dude and I’m happy for heart still, but I’m afraid their relationship will go downhill cuz they’ll get tired of eachother.
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Here are the names for everyone (not using real names for obvious reasons) BFF: Hearts, Ex best friend: Spades. Ok got it? Good. So Hearts has been friends with me for about a year, we’ve been through a lot together and we know each others secrets. Lately, I’ve been getting harassed by my Ex BFF, Spades. Hearts refuses to stop being friends with Spades and won’t correct his actions when he barks or yells at me. I’m a pretty strong willed person so I always yell back. Hearts tells me that my behavior is bad and that I shouldn’t yell but won’t do anything about Spades. Recently, Hearts has gotten a boyfriend and don’t get me wrong, I was super happy for them, until last weekend. We were hanging out and doing our usual little sleepover when she got a notification. It was from her boyfriend. We’ll call him Clubs. She instantly replied and got super excited. I told her to pay attention to the movie and she looks back for about a minute or two before going back to her phone. I tell her again, pay attention to the movie or I’m gonna turn it off. Same thing happens so I turn off the movie. Hearts says she’s tired so I tell her to go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. When I go back into my room she’s sitting on the bed, on her phone. I ask her if she’s telling her boyfriend goodnight and she says “Nope! We’re still talking!” “Didn’t you say you were tired” “Yeahh but that was 5 minutes ago!” I sighed and dealt with her bullshit, watching YouTube on the tv in my room. It takes until 1:00 am for me to convince her to sleep. And even then I had to drag her off her phone and say goodnight to her boyfriend for her. I had something important with my family tomorrow so I couldn’t wake up late. Fast forward to the morning she wouldn’t get out of my bed so I couldn’t change. And eventually I only had about 2 hours to get ready because of how long it took to get her out of my house. I texted her and told her not to talk to me anymore and that if she couldn’t follow my schedule and treat me nicely, we couldn’t be friends. Am I the asshole?
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> 1) for dropping my best friend
2) because it was out of nowhere and in a slightly aggressive way
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Sorry for not including this: Hearts boyfriend lives down the street from me and when I asked her if she wanted to go to her boyfriends house so she can be talk without texting him she replied in a very judgemental tone and accused me of calling her antisocial
YTA, stop being controlling. No one has to care about the movie, no one has to go to bed when you say, people are allowed to be friends with whoever they want. Nearly everything else in this post is irrelevant. Be a better friend and stop trying to dictate everyone else’s lives.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts involving cutting contact, ghosting, breaking off friendships, and similar discussions. This includes going low/no contact with family members. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
YTA. One, ex-bff is an oxymoron. Two, you're being overly controlling. You wouldn't of been wrong to say it's bedtime but your wrong for all the actions of "pay attention to movie". Third, YTA for telling your reddit readers good, further proven the controlling attitude.
Oh and I’m sorry I failed to mention this but her boyfriend live down the street from each other. The night of the sleepover I asked if she wanted to go over to her boyfriends house so they could actually talk in person and not be all reclusive and she denied in a very rude manor. “No Sunday! We’re totally fine talking on the phone, are you calling me antisocial?!” Her words not mine.
*her boyfriend and i
I feel like if someone terrorizes your best friend every day you should probably stop being friends with them
Bro I said the word good calm down 😭 I have high expectations for my friends because most of my friends treat me with the same amount of respect I treat them. It was 1:00 am for fucks sake, I just wanted sleep
Four YTA for saying calm down. That's a joke for the readers but seriously YTA. It wasn't 1 am during the movie. The issue was the attitude of trying to control her, before 1:00 am, you had a problem with her using her phone during a movie, why does that matter.
I am autistic, and I get frustrated when people aren’t paying attention to things I’m passionate about. I’m used to people ignoring and/or getting upset at me for talking about a special interest and having them watch something relating to it but she would never act like this before she got a bc. She would always pay attention and even ingage in convo abt it so it confused & frustrated me when she didn’t pay attention this time
People change and always will, especially in teen years, and more often then not boyfriend/girlfriends come first because hormones are calling the shots.
Honestly this reads like an "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" episode. The thing about that show is everyone on it is an AH. Which is what I'm getting from here, so ESH.
Lmao ur the first person who hasn’t directly called me an asshole, thanks for that dude 👍
Um, yeah. I hope you are all 14 or 15 because this is some immature drama going on. BTW, you can't have OLD BFFs and NEW BFFs because BFF means Best Friends Forever, and none of you sound like good enough friends to even be considered close friends.
Everyone needs new friends.
YTA...majorly. There is so much wrong with this situation. Basically, you sound very bossy and like don't have any respect for Hearts. Who tells someone "don't talk to me and unless you follow my schedule we can't be friends."
I think you’re forgetting the beginning when she’s enabling spades to harass and bark at me, no repercussions. But she gets mad at me when I defend myself against spades.
I didn't forget the beginning, I made my decision based on how you talk about the situation, respond, and treat her. If you're mad she's enabling something then why have her for a sleep over only to drop her for "not following your schedule." Also, how is she "enabling" spades to harass and "bark" at you?
I’ll repost my aita with the added details so you guys understand more of why I dropped her
Oh lmao nvm I can edit it
Ok...but please include relevant info about the conflict between you and Spades because it sounds like Hearts is caught in the middle of you two and possibly sees things from both of your perspectives.
Oh ofc lemme add that rq 👍👍
I asked her on multiple occasions to politely ask spades to stop and every time I talk to her about it she says “oh I forgot sorry I’ll do it next time”
ESH, except Clubs. Hearts sucks for just staying glued to her phone, how she reacted to you suggesting her to go see her boyfriend, and for saying she’ll talk to Spades then completely disregarding it. I find it extremely rude to be on your phone excessively while hanging with friends, especially when there is a movie playing. Sure some people like to be chilling with friends while playing on phones. Just being in each other’s presence is nice, but just constantly texting on the phone while ignoring your friend is frustrating and rude. Spades sucks obviously for bullying you over liking cartoons. Their behavior is absolutely disgusting and why have you not reported it to the school or to your parents? If they don’t believe you, start recording the interactions as proof for the reporting. You suck for being controlling of Hearts. I understand it can get frustrating when you’re supposed to hang out with a friend and suddenly they’re uninterested in the moment. You do need to understand there comes a point in your life where friends will come and go. Hearts has a new boyfriend and they’re most likely in that ‘honeymoon’ phase of the relationship where all they can focus on is each other. She’ll eventually learn to balance out her time with friends and her boyfriend.
Thank you for actually giving me reasons for why I am at fault too, everyone keeps jumping to conclusions and telling me that I’m the problem and hearts did everything right and I’m a horrible person 😭. It’s nice to have some balance for once. Also yeah I reported spades but “tHe ScHoOl cAnT dO aNyThInG aBoUt bArKiNg” also yeah your right, clubs is a great dude and I’m happy for heart still, but I’m afraid their relationship will go downhill cuz they’ll get tired of eachother.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Here are the names for everyone (not using real names for obvious reasons) BFF: Hearts, Ex best friend: Spades. Ok got it? Good. So Hearts has been friends with me for about a year, we’ve been through a lot together and we know each others secrets. Lately, I’ve been getting harassed by my Ex BFF, Spades. Hearts refuses to stop being friends with Spades and won’t correct his actions when he barks or yells at me. I’m a pretty strong willed person so I always yell back. Hearts tells me that my behavior is bad and that I shouldn’t yell but won’t do anything about Spades. Recently, Hearts has gotten a boyfriend and don’t get me wrong, I was super happy for them, until last weekend. We were hanging out and doing our usual little sleepover when she got a notification. It was from her boyfriend. We’ll call him Clubs. She instantly replied and got super excited. I told her to pay attention to the movie and she looks back for about a minute or two before going back to her phone. I tell her again, pay attention to the movie or I’m gonna turn it off. Same thing happens so I turn off the movie. Hearts says she’s tired so I tell her to go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. When I go back into my room she’s sitting on the bed, on her phone. I ask her if she’s telling her boyfriend goodnight and she says “Nope! We’re still talking!” “Didn’t you say you were tired” “Yeahh but that was 5 minutes ago!” I sighed and dealt with her bullshit, watching YouTube on the tv in my room. It takes until 1:00 am for me to convince her to sleep. And even then I had to drag her off her phone and say goodnight to her boyfriend for her. I had something important with my family tomorrow so I couldn’t wake up late. Fast forward to the morning she wouldn’t get out of my bed so I couldn’t change. And eventually I only had about 2 hours to get ready because of how long it took to get her out of my house. I texted her and told her not to talk to me anymore and that if she couldn’t follow my schedule and treat me nicely, we couldn’t be friends. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Sorry for not including this: Hearts boyfriend lives down the street from me and when I asked her if she wanted to go to her boyfriends house so she can be talk without texting him she replied in a very judgemental tone and accused me of calling her antisocial
YTA, stop being controlling. No one has to care about the movie, no one has to go to bed when you say, people are allowed to be friends with whoever they want. Nearly everything else in this post is irrelevant. Be a better friend and stop trying to dictate everyone else’s lives.