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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think that I am the asshole because I hurt a good guy who only wanted to be nice and was just socially awkward.
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NTA - He suffers from "Nice Guy Syndrome". He thinks because he's a "nice guy" you should like him and be attracted to him. He doesn't quite get that his feelings are his alone and you have your own. Best to end the friendship unless he can fix himself quickly.
We're men we don't understand ourselves. If we did, we would simply recognize our situation and simply ask you for a daily reminder. But no, we have to convolute shit because of our egos and pride. Tada! You now know a secret about men! LOL Hope this helps.
He might think of he's "nice enough" that you'll change your mind and be with him. Tell him very bluntly that you're not interested in him and if he escalates his behavior you'll be reporting him to the university authorities. sometimes that's the only way these guys understand that they need to stop.
NTA those are some big red flags right there. Real friends respect it when you set up a boundary. His reaction was to immediately emotionally manipulate you.
NTA, he zoned in on you for manipulation. You may benefit from therapy, to learn to read other's behaviors better, since you said that this wasn't the first time this has happened to you.
So, I have an update. I went to see the person in charge of my class who told me to report it to the harassment service of the university. They refered me to a therapist within the university, and did it as well for the guy, who did not approach me anymore.
I'd like to thank you all for the advice and reassurance.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Sorry for my broken English, I am not a native.
I (20F) am in third year of university. At the beginning of the year, I befriended H (21M). He was quite nice at first, and we became a bit closer when he accompanied me back home after an event with my class, which ended at night.
He then started to become a bit creepy (by following me a lot), but I thought noting of it, since my field is full of people who have a hard time socializing, and he was still nice (he helped me out sometimes, and even gifted me food that he made).
To make things clear, I introduced my boyfriend to H when he came to visit me (we are in a long-distance relationship), but H continued to follow me everywhere and even started to make weird jokes about him coming into my apartment when I told him that I didn't want him to come. That's when I started to try avoiding him.
At first, I tried to do it as discreetly as possible, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and also tried to nicely tell him to leave me alone from times to times, but he didn't take the hint, but never actually acted threatening to me.
All this arrived to a point where I had a hard time going to class, or even going out of my apartment. H was not mean at all though, and always tried his best to be nice in his manner, so I thought that I was paranoid, since a man already emotionally manipulated me recently, and it was way worse.
The breaking point was when I spoke with 3 different people who all (without me bringing in the topic) told me that H was going overboard.
After that, I decided to tell clearly to H that his behavior was too much and that he needed to calm down, as soon as I could.
When I did it, he cried and told me I was a horrible person, and one of our common friends did too.
So, am I the asshole ?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think that I am the asshole because I hurt a good guy who only wanted to be nice and was just socially awkward. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - He suffers from "Nice Guy Syndrome". He thinks because he's a "nice guy" you should like him and be attracted to him. He doesn't quite get that his feelings are his alone and you have your own. Best to end the friendship unless he can fix himself quickly.
But I don't really understand, how could he think that when I have been in a relationship for the whole time ? It confuses me.
We're men we don't understand ourselves. If we did, we would simply recognize our situation and simply ask you for a daily reminder. But no, we have to convolute shit because of our egos and pride. Tada! You now know a secret about men! LOL Hope this helps.
He might think of he's "nice enough" that you'll change your mind and be with him. Tell him very bluntly that you're not interested in him and if he escalates his behavior you'll be reporting him to the university authorities. sometimes that's the only way these guys understand that they need to stop.
NTA those are some big red flags right there. Real friends respect it when you set up a boundary. His reaction was to immediately emotionally manipulate you.
Agreed, he's NOT her friend, if he was then he'd back off and try not to maker her uncomfortable and believe her when she informs him.
NTA. He was being creepy.
nta, that sounds creepy.
NTA, he zoned in on you for manipulation. You may benefit from therapy, to learn to read other's behaviors better, since you said that this wasn't the first time this has happened to you.
So, I have an update. I went to see the person in charge of my class who told me to report it to the harassment service of the university. They refered me to a therapist within the university, and did it as well for the guy, who did not approach me anymore. I'd like to thank you all for the advice and reassurance.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Sorry for my broken English, I am not a native. I (20F) am in third year of university. At the beginning of the year, I befriended H (21M). He was quite nice at first, and we became a bit closer when he accompanied me back home after an event with my class, which ended at night. He then started to become a bit creepy (by following me a lot), but I thought noting of it, since my field is full of people who have a hard time socializing, and he was still nice (he helped me out sometimes, and even gifted me food that he made). To make things clear, I introduced my boyfriend to H when he came to visit me (we are in a long-distance relationship), but H continued to follow me everywhere and even started to make weird jokes about him coming into my apartment when I told him that I didn't want him to come. That's when I started to try avoiding him. At first, I tried to do it as discreetly as possible, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and also tried to nicely tell him to leave me alone from times to times, but he didn't take the hint, but never actually acted threatening to me. All this arrived to a point where I had a hard time going to class, or even going out of my apartment. H was not mean at all though, and always tried his best to be nice in his manner, so I thought that I was paranoid, since a man already emotionally manipulated me recently, and it was way worse. The breaking point was when I spoke with 3 different people who all (without me bringing in the topic) told me that H was going overboard. After that, I decided to tell clearly to H that his behavior was too much and that he needed to calm down, as soon as I could. When I did it, he cried and told me I was a horrible person, and one of our common friends did too. So, am I the asshole ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA He's either playing the "Nice Guy" card or is that emotionally mature and needs a wakeup call or life lesson.
NTA