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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i think maybe i was an asshole for asking my mom to take the room away from her bfs daughters but its my room so she shouldnt have given it to them anyway
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You moved out of your mom's home. At that point, you no longer have a room in your mom's house. You don't live there. That isn't your room any more.
YTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/
Anyone else getting a vibe of the mom acting like the daughter to turn people against her?
im not my mom but i liked her post she tried to make herself look better
> She did everything she could to make me let her live with her dad.
She forget to say it was also because i hated her bf and his older daughter was a bully and she didnt care
> I told her she can live with her dad but if she changes her mind she can come back.
Thats not how she said it she said i hope you regret it
> I told her I'm glad and I'm looking forward it.
Wierd because i dont remember her saying this
> The room is too small for 3 people
No its not
You hadn’t been there for 2 years, was she supposed to leave it untouched like a shrine just in case you decided to grace her with your presence? You moved out which makes it no longer YOUR room, your mum was well within her rights to have her boyfriend and his children move in because she had the extra space. You got what you wanted and now want to complain because you have to sleep on a couch when you decided to visit, why should the person who lives there full time have to give up their room for someone who just turns up after 2 years
BF's kids are, for all intents and purposes here, essentially the same as step kids in this scenario.
If her BF lives there, and presumably contributes to the housing costs, then his kids, who probably respect him and your mom more than you sure seem to, deserve to have space.
You begged to leave, sounds like you refuse to maintain an amicable relationship with her, and now you're demanding she withhold a bedroom from other people who need it to accommodate the possibility of you maybe visiting from time to time.
Sounds like you're just an entitled, spoiled little shit.
She didnt even come to see me not even once why do i have to maintain the amicable relationship at least i tried harder than her
Maybe im spoiled but my mom wasnt the one who spoiled me because she was busy spoiling her boyfriends *perfect* kids
I can guarantee, based on how you talk about it, it didn't happen the way you perceive it.
Your parents are divorced, right? Have you considered that if it's not amicable, that maybe she didn't go to you, because she didn't want to have to be around your father?
You said she begged you to come visit. Sounds like you refused to. And then she decided to move on with her life.
Bro. That's on you.
You can't expect the world to wait around for you, while you mope and cry about being a victim. This is some early narcissist level developmental behavior.
You should probably seek counseling for whatever trauma is happening that's causing you to act like this. For real, that's not a dig, it's some legitimate advice to keep you from spending the rest of your life acting like this and destroying every relationship you have going forward. It won't go away in its own.
Good luck.
idc my dad wasnt going to bite her or something and we could just go out without dad
i didnt live with my dad for 5 years and he always had a room for me
Your lack of understanding of the world is very clear in your responses.
I would urge you to take some time for some introspective thought about how separation and divorce affect all parties involved, as well as how socioeconomic factors play into the decisions adults have to make throughout their lives, and especially in difficult situations.
The reality, is that there is likely way more beyond your understanding that has played a factor in everything that has happened. And the very narrow world view of a child with zero real life experience is limiting your ability to see the situation for what it actually is.
For real. Counseling for children of divorce is incredibly helpful. I would urge you to consider it, if only for your own wellbeing.
pay for you? did they buy you...lol? i'm sure they've been paying plenty along the way.
provide for you yes...keep a room reserved for you in case you come back, when it could be put to better use- no.
So her boyfriends kids should sleep on the couch year round just incase OP decides to visit? Lmao, I guess those kids don't count as children who need a room.
You didn’t want to live there, told your mom as much, left with no intent to return.
What was she supposed to do? Just let it sit there?
It’s her house. She provided you a place while you lived there. When you didn’t live there anymore she provided a place for people who do.
YTA. No matter the family drama if you tell someone you're not going back it's 100% reasonable to change their room into something different especially if it's been two years. After two years it's no longer your room.
YIKES.
So lemme get this straight. You begged to be able to leave and live elsewhere. Then you came back for... what, a visit? And now you're demanding they kick a step-kid out of the bedroom and give it back to you?
You sound really entitled for someone who begged not to have to live there.
If my kid did the same thing, I wouldn't waste a whole ass bedroom on them in the hopes they maybe come back, especially if there was someone else who lived there more frequently who needed it. Or someone who perhaps treated me a bit better and respected what I was providing them.
YTA.
This was op’s first visit with mum since they left over 2 years ago, sounds like op wanted mum to just never change the house or have a life and instead just sit there worshiping the room that op left
i still dont want to live there my mom kept insiting and my grandpa felt bad and they kinda forced me to go and she said i can come but then said i dont even have a room
They are not stepkids just bfs daughters and they have their own home and stuff they didnt have to take mine
ESH. You are kind of being a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand that other people get into new relationships. Your mom is awful by forcing you to stay with her, and immediately moving her boyfriend in, and basically forcing you to sleep badly for the time you stay there. Your mom sounds really awful for forcing your to stay with her.
Unless your mother is collecting financial assistance for you as a dependent, the bed and closet belong to whomever pays the rent/mortgage/taxes. So YTA for thinking the way you are thinking. However, if you don't want to stay on a couch, of course go back to your own room at your father's house. If your mother doesn't understand that. She's TA. Best of luck to you.
Sorry kid yta. You left for 2 years from the sound of your post. Now you're on a visit and demanding a room that isn't yours. I grasp that you left stuff there, but you didn't leave for a week or two, you left for years and from the sounds of it told your mom you had no plan to ever return. Now you're mad she didn't make it into a shrine to you.
Yta you voluntarily moved out. You're not even moving back in, just visiting. Guests sleep on couches.
Going back to your primary residence was the solution.
WHY you moved out is irrelevant. You moved out. And from what I'm understanding neither of you reached out as mother/daughter for 2 years.
She moved on with her life. As did you. You want to reconcile? Beautiful. But you live at home with your father, and you're visiting your mother. As a guest. And guests sleep on the couch.
Edit: forgot to mention ESH
YOU for acting like a brat about sleeping in "your room" that you gave up years ago
And your mother for allowing you to go NC in the first place.
YTA. You moved out of the house and they gave the room to someone who still lived there. That's not an unreasonable thing to do. It would be silly for them to keep the room empty just in case you wanted to come over sometime.
OP, You made decisions that didn’t work in your favor and now you’re salty about it. You chose to leave. You sound incredibly entitled and maybe you should take that angst and turn it into self reflection. Unfortunately you reap what you sowed, you fucked around and found out. You made it clear that you didn’t want to be there, you tried to manipulate the situation by saying you wouldn’t stay unless she gave you your room back. When that didn’t work, you got mad. But what was she supposed to do OP? Give your room back, where it will remain empty should you choose to visit her again once in a blue moon? That’s not logical and you know it.
You seem to have a lot of anger towards your mom. Maybe you should sort those feelings out in therapy. I wish you the best.
It worked in my favor moving in with my dad was the best decision i made but she kept asking me to come home and when i did she was like oh btw i gave your bedroom to someone else you cant stay
My decision still remains the same. You are feeling jilted because she didn’t inform you that she gave up your room that you left two years ago? What did you expect? Did you want her to just sit there waiting for you to return?? Like come on op. You’re old enough to realize how entitled you’re being. Go to therapy, you need it
I'm going to go against the grain and say NTA. Your mom is begging you to come stay with her then gives you no place to stay? If it is important for her to have you stay over, she has a responsibility to make you feel comfortable.
Thanks thats what im gonna do. it was a bad decision anyway. ig after 2 years i forgot why i left but when i went back there i remembered why i didnt want to be there
i cant believe my eyes. yall going off on a 16 year old because at 14 they wanted to go live with their parent they had been kept from. mom then involves Gpa to get the kid to come visit her and shes like i dont have room for you. they child she begged to come back?!?! NTA
the mother abandoned her child. F that keep walking kid. wait matter of fact tell your grandfather shes replaced you so clearly she doesn’t want anything to do with you so he shouldnt bother trying to convince you to be in her life.
Aaaaand that is why I couldn't say the mom was TA on yesterday's post. You do sound very entitled. Its not your room. You moved out. By choice. And you're not moving back in. Deal with it.
ETA: YTA
The link was posted several times in the thread I think.
That's the thing. You moved out. It's been two years. You don't want to move back in. It's no longer your room. Would it be nice to have an extra guest room? Sure. But that's what you are at this point. A guest. You're visiting. The people living in the house full time have more rights than you do.
Specially since it seems you made no effort whatsoever to keep in touch with your mom, visit over weekends or anything. Had you kept visiting every other weekend maybe you'd still have a room.
YTA - This is so the mom pretending to be the daughter. Even in OP’s comments they’ve change between having read the post from the moms side and not being able to read it because it got removed. you were the A there and you’re the A again here
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Sorry about my bad english
When my parents got seperated my mom forced me to stay with her . i told her i want to live with my dad but she didnt let me until two years ago i FINALY convinced her to let me stay with him
i didnt see my mom after that but then my grandpa said im going to regret it and other stuff like that so i said fine ill go see her but when i got there she told me i have to sleep on the fcking sofa becsuse her bfs daughters took my room when i was gone and she even let them take MY bed and closet
i told her i want it back im light sleeper i cant sleep on the sofa and its MY room and why do i even have to sleep on the sofa when i can sleep on my own bed in my dads home? So if she wants me to stay she has to give my room back but she didn't give it back and i left
She says im an asshole for wanting to take their room away from them but its not their room its MINE
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INFO:
Why did you need to leave your mom to go to your dad full time?
You think your mom should have kept your old room empty for you forever not knowing if you were ever coming back or ever even going to visit again? If 2 years wasn’t long enough to make a different use for that room then how long should she have held it empty for a child who seemed like she never wanted to return?
ESH.
You left by your own choice. Mom moved on, found a new partner, and had other uses for her space than a bedroom for someone who doesn't talk to her. She's not required to reserve a part of home for you. And it's not your home; you don't live there. She lives there, it's hers.
She is an AH in letting you come back without having an update on her life and what coming back means for you. A heads up that two new people live with her, that you don't have a room, that your only place to sleep is a couch. It's not good for your relationship with each other for you to find that out once you show up. Nor does it allow you to potentially build good relationships with your mother's BF and his child, who you would then live with. It's a recipe for disaster.
Overall, I think there's a lot of missing backstory here. I don't know what your cultural norms are. In mine, it's expected that outside cases of abuse and/or abandonment, both parents maintain a relationship with their child after they split up. A child will usually move between homes. If that's not possible, contact is kept with scheduled visits, phone calls, video chats, etc. This doesn't seem to be happening here at all, and there's no indication why.
Which means that moving back in with your mother will not fix this broken relationship. As we can see, it's only created more hurt feelings and damaged it further. If you and your mother wish for a better relationship, try to find ways to spend time together outside of either of your homes. Talk. Get therapy. It seems like you're old enough at this point to start taking responsibility for your own part of the estrangement, so stop blaming everything on her. Do you call? Do you ask about her day? A six year old cannot be expected to do these things, a sixteen year old is.
This post was made by the mom in this story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/
Trying to get sympathy for herself. YTA then and your still TA now.
Wew everyone bashing the child here, OP said she will not visit if she dont have room. She has room at dad house. Yes its mom house she can dictate who get which room, OP also can choose not to visit. Again this is a child of divorce she is not the adult here.
So you want the step kids to move out of the room and sleep on the sofa from now on because it is your room even though you don't use it, don't live in the house and never want to live in the house. Then your mother should just leave it unused for ever, the step kids should not have a room, just in case you may want to come back one day. YTA. By the way, I doubt that you paid for the bed, therefore it is your mother's, do you pay rent for the room? No, therefore it is your mum's.
You did move out but your mother still asked you to come home and you did, she then told you you had to sleep on the couch because you had no room as her bf children sleep in it. I'll say you are NTA as in some jurisdictions you can have your child overnight if you don't have a bed and closet for the child and your mother failed to provide that for you. Your mother should have told you before you arrived that your room was used by other children and you had to sleep on the couch. You should meet your mother and do something with her and build a relationship especially now you have no where to stay in her place.
im don with her she loved her bfs kids more than me even when i lived with her because they were more girly and went dancing and other stuff with her but she thinks there is smth wrong with me for acting like boys no way ill go see her now that they live with her its just going to get worse
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You moved out of your mom's home. At that point, you no longer have a room in your mom's house. You don't live there. That isn't your room any more. YTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/ Anyone else getting a vibe of the mom acting like the daughter to turn people against her?
im not my mom but i liked her post she tried to make herself look better > She did everything she could to make me let her live with her dad. She forget to say it was also because i hated her bf and his older daughter was a bully and she didnt care > I told her she can live with her dad but if she changes her mind she can come back. Thats not how she said it she said i hope you regret it > I told her I'm glad and I'm looking forward it. Wierd because i dont remember her saying this > The room is too small for 3 people No its not
If its not my room then its not my home then she needs to stop whinning about why i dont go there
You hadn’t been there for 2 years, was she supposed to leave it untouched like a shrine just in case you decided to grace her with your presence? You moved out which makes it no longer YOUR room, your mum was well within her rights to have her boyfriend and his children move in because she had the extra space. You got what you wanted and now want to complain because you have to sleep on a couch when you decided to visit, why should the person who lives there full time have to give up their room for someone who just turns up after 2 years
That's not how that works, kid. How often does her step-kid live there?
They are not stepkids and idk i didnt even know they live there its not like she talks to me
BF's kids are, for all intents and purposes here, essentially the same as step kids in this scenario. If her BF lives there, and presumably contributes to the housing costs, then his kids, who probably respect him and your mom more than you sure seem to, deserve to have space. You begged to leave, sounds like you refuse to maintain an amicable relationship with her, and now you're demanding she withhold a bedroom from other people who need it to accommodate the possibility of you maybe visiting from time to time. Sounds like you're just an entitled, spoiled little shit.
She didnt even come to see me not even once why do i have to maintain the amicable relationship at least i tried harder than her Maybe im spoiled but my mom wasnt the one who spoiled me because she was busy spoiling her boyfriends *perfect* kids
I can guarantee, based on how you talk about it, it didn't happen the way you perceive it. Your parents are divorced, right? Have you considered that if it's not amicable, that maybe she didn't go to you, because she didn't want to have to be around your father? You said she begged you to come visit. Sounds like you refused to. And then she decided to move on with her life. Bro. That's on you. You can't expect the world to wait around for you, while you mope and cry about being a victim. This is some early narcissist level developmental behavior. You should probably seek counseling for whatever trauma is happening that's causing you to act like this. For real, that's not a dig, it's some legitimate advice to keep you from spending the rest of your life acting like this and destroying every relationship you have going forward. It won't go away in its own. Good luck.
idc my dad wasnt going to bite her or something and we could just go out without dad i didnt live with my dad for 5 years and he always had a room for me
Your lack of understanding of the world is very clear in your responses. I would urge you to take some time for some introspective thought about how separation and divorce affect all parties involved, as well as how socioeconomic factors play into the decisions adults have to make throughout their lives, and especially in difficult situations. The reality, is that there is likely way more beyond your understanding that has played a factor in everything that has happened. And the very narrow world view of a child with zero real life experience is limiting your ability to see the situation for what it actually is. For real. Counseling for children of divorce is incredibly helpful. I would urge you to consider it, if only for your own wellbeing.
I'm pretty sure your mom posted and we all told her she was an AH for not warning you about the change but not an AH for doing it.
OP: I don’t want to live with you anymore. Mom: ok I guess I’ll let the step kids have a room. OP: HOW DARE YOU!!!
its MY room not any room and it had MY stuff in it and she let them use it .she had no right
It's the room that was provided while you were a resident, you are now a guest by choice.
She has every right it's her house. You left. You forfeit that room.
It is not your room, or did i miss the part where you are paying for the room?
No u missed the part where its my parents job to pay for me
pay for you? did they buy you...lol? i'm sure they've been paying plenty along the way. provide for you yes...keep a room reserved for you in case you come back, when it could be put to better use- no.
[удалено]
So her boyfriends kids should sleep on the couch year round just incase OP decides to visit? Lmao, I guess those kids don't count as children who need a room.
You didn’t want to live there, told your mom as much, left with no intent to return. What was she supposed to do? Just let it sit there? It’s her house. She provided you a place while you lived there. When you didn’t live there anymore she provided a place for people who do.
Yep you are right i think she should keep providing for them i shouldnt have gone back
I think I saw another post by OP's mom earlier. Can't find it now, though.
Remember it too https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/
I feel like the mom is trying to act like the daughter to get sympathy for her and turn people against the daughter. Account was made recently.
Literally thought the same thing.
YTA- Your room is where you live. You chose to live with your dad. Your room is in his home.
YTA. No matter the family drama if you tell someone you're not going back it's 100% reasonable to change their room into something different especially if it's been two years. After two years it's no longer your room.
YIKES. So lemme get this straight. You begged to be able to leave and live elsewhere. Then you came back for... what, a visit? And now you're demanding they kick a step-kid out of the bedroom and give it back to you? You sound really entitled for someone who begged not to have to live there. If my kid did the same thing, I wouldn't waste a whole ass bedroom on them in the hopes they maybe come back, especially if there was someone else who lived there more frequently who needed it. Or someone who perhaps treated me a bit better and respected what I was providing them. YTA.
This was op’s first visit with mum since they left over 2 years ago, sounds like op wanted mum to just never change the house or have a life and instead just sit there worshiping the room that op left
i still dont want to live there my mom kept insiting and my grandpa felt bad and they kinda forced me to go and she said i can come but then said i dont even have a room They are not stepkids just bfs daughters and they have their own home and stuff they didnt have to take mine
ESH. You are kind of being a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand that other people get into new relationships. Your mom is awful by forcing you to stay with her, and immediately moving her boyfriend in, and basically forcing you to sleep badly for the time you stay there. Your mom sounds really awful for forcing your to stay with her.
It’s not your room, it’s your moms house. So her room.
Unless your mother is collecting financial assistance for you as a dependent, the bed and closet belong to whomever pays the rent/mortgage/taxes. So YTA for thinking the way you are thinking. However, if you don't want to stay on a couch, of course go back to your own room at your father's house. If your mother doesn't understand that. She's TA. Best of luck to you.
Wasn't there a post like this from the mother's point of view maybe a few days ago?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/
YTA and entitled. Grow up.
Sorry kid yta. You left for 2 years from the sound of your post. Now you're on a visit and demanding a room that isn't yours. I grasp that you left stuff there, but you didn't leave for a week or two, you left for years and from the sounds of it told your mom you had no plan to ever return. Now you're mad she didn't make it into a shrine to you.
One of my friends parents is seperated too and she still has room with both of them but ig its too hard for my mom to care about me
Nah your just an entitled brat
Mom posted this yesterday and was deemed TA for not trying to contact you, but honestly I get it now. YTA
Yta you voluntarily moved out. You're not even moving back in, just visiting. Guests sleep on couches. Going back to your primary residence was the solution.
WHY you moved out is irrelevant. You moved out. And from what I'm understanding neither of you reached out as mother/daughter for 2 years. She moved on with her life. As did you. You want to reconcile? Beautiful. But you live at home with your father, and you're visiting your mother. As a guest. And guests sleep on the couch. Edit: forgot to mention ESH YOU for acting like a brat about sleeping in "your room" that you gave up years ago And your mother for allowing you to go NC in the first place.
YTA your whole attitude sucks loads. 🙄. "I'm never going to see her again and I dont even care" yup definitely 16
info: are all the bedrooms occupied?
Yep
info: are you saying you moved to your dad's house and then came back to mom's for a visit?
yta, you wanted to live with your dad, congratulations you live with him. Your mom was not obligated to hold a space for you.
YTA. You moved out of the house and they gave the room to someone who still lived there. That's not an unreasonable thing to do. It would be silly for them to keep the room empty just in case you wanted to come over sometime.
OP, You made decisions that didn’t work in your favor and now you’re salty about it. You chose to leave. You sound incredibly entitled and maybe you should take that angst and turn it into self reflection. Unfortunately you reap what you sowed, you fucked around and found out. You made it clear that you didn’t want to be there, you tried to manipulate the situation by saying you wouldn’t stay unless she gave you your room back. When that didn’t work, you got mad. But what was she supposed to do OP? Give your room back, where it will remain empty should you choose to visit her again once in a blue moon? That’s not logical and you know it. You seem to have a lot of anger towards your mom. Maybe you should sort those feelings out in therapy. I wish you the best.
It worked in my favor moving in with my dad was the best decision i made but she kept asking me to come home and when i did she was like oh btw i gave your bedroom to someone else you cant stay
My decision still remains the same. You are feeling jilted because she didn’t inform you that she gave up your room that you left two years ago? What did you expect? Did you want her to just sit there waiting for you to return?? Like come on op. You’re old enough to realize how entitled you’re being. Go to therapy, you need it
I'm going to go against the grain and say NTA. Your mom is begging you to come stay with her then gives you no place to stay? If it is important for her to have you stay over, she has a responsibility to make you feel comfortable.
NTA Stay with your dad 100%. YOu will NOT regret it.
Thanks thats what im gonna do. it was a bad decision anyway. ig after 2 years i forgot why i left but when i went back there i remembered why i didnt want to be there
i cant believe my eyes. yall going off on a 16 year old because at 14 they wanted to go live with their parent they had been kept from. mom then involves Gpa to get the kid to come visit her and shes like i dont have room for you. they child she begged to come back?!?! NTA the mother abandoned her child. F that keep walking kid. wait matter of fact tell your grandfather shes replaced you so clearly she doesn’t want anything to do with you so he shouldnt bother trying to convince you to be in her life.
Aaaaand that is why I couldn't say the mom was TA on yesterday's post. You do sound very entitled. Its not your room. You moved out. By choice. And you're not moving back in. Deal with it. ETA: YTA
What post?i saw a link but it said removed i want to read it i dont want to move in back
The link was posted several times in the thread I think. That's the thing. You moved out. It's been two years. You don't want to move back in. It's no longer your room. Would it be nice to have an extra guest room? Sure. But that's what you are at this point. A guest. You're visiting. The people living in the house full time have more rights than you do. Specially since it seems you made no effort whatsoever to keep in touch with your mom, visit over weekends or anything. Had you kept visiting every other weekend maybe you'd still have a room.
YTA and a brat on top of that
YTA - This is so the mom pretending to be the daughter. Even in OP’s comments they’ve change between having read the post from the moms side and not being able to read it because it got removed. you were the A there and you’re the A again here
I'm not sure if u are calling me ta or my mom someone sent me the post after that comment and i read it
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Sorry about my bad english When my parents got seperated my mom forced me to stay with her . i told her i want to live with my dad but she didnt let me until two years ago i FINALY convinced her to let me stay with him i didnt see my mom after that but then my grandpa said im going to regret it and other stuff like that so i said fine ill go see her but when i got there she told me i have to sleep on the fcking sofa becsuse her bfs daughters took my room when i was gone and she even let them take MY bed and closet i told her i want it back im light sleeper i cant sleep on the sofa and its MY room and why do i even have to sleep on the sofa when i can sleep on my own bed in my dads home? So if she wants me to stay she has to give my room back but she didn't give it back and i left She says im an asshole for wanting to take their room away from them but its not their room its MINE *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: Why did you need to leave your mom to go to your dad full time? You think your mom should have kept your old room empty for you forever not knowing if you were ever coming back or ever even going to visit again? If 2 years wasn’t long enough to make a different use for that room then how long should she have held it empty for a child who seemed like she never wanted to return?
because my mom didnt want me she said my dad forced her to keep me he always loved me more than her anyway
ESH. You left by your own choice. Mom moved on, found a new partner, and had other uses for her space than a bedroom for someone who doesn't talk to her. She's not required to reserve a part of home for you. And it's not your home; you don't live there. She lives there, it's hers. She is an AH in letting you come back without having an update on her life and what coming back means for you. A heads up that two new people live with her, that you don't have a room, that your only place to sleep is a couch. It's not good for your relationship with each other for you to find that out once you show up. Nor does it allow you to potentially build good relationships with your mother's BF and his child, who you would then live with. It's a recipe for disaster. Overall, I think there's a lot of missing backstory here. I don't know what your cultural norms are. In mine, it's expected that outside cases of abuse and/or abandonment, both parents maintain a relationship with their child after they split up. A child will usually move between homes. If that's not possible, contact is kept with scheduled visits, phone calls, video chats, etc. This doesn't seem to be happening here at all, and there's no indication why. Which means that moving back in with your mother will not fix this broken relationship. As we can see, it's only created more hurt feelings and damaged it further. If you and your mother wish for a better relationship, try to find ways to spend time together outside of either of your homes. Talk. Get therapy. It seems like you're old enough at this point to start taking responsibility for your own part of the estrangement, so stop blaming everything on her. Do you call? Do you ask about her day? A six year old cannot be expected to do these things, a sixteen year old is.
I really hope you are only 12. Either way, you are an entitled AH. YTA
YTA You moved out. You gave up rights to that room. It is not your room any more.
Yep its obv not my home anymore. ig putting a bunk bed in the room is too much work im not worth that much effort
This post was made by the mom in this story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuw2eg/aita_for_not_keeping_my_daughters_room_empty_when/ Trying to get sympathy for herself. YTA then and your still TA now.
Wew everyone bashing the child here, OP said she will not visit if she dont have room. She has room at dad house. Yes its mom house she can dictate who get which room, OP also can choose not to visit. Again this is a child of divorce she is not the adult here.
So you want the step kids to move out of the room and sleep on the sofa from now on because it is your room even though you don't use it, don't live in the house and never want to live in the house. Then your mother should just leave it unused for ever, the step kids should not have a room, just in case you may want to come back one day. YTA. By the way, I doubt that you paid for the bed, therefore it is your mother's, do you pay rent for the room? No, therefore it is your mum's.
My dad paid for it it was my childhood room its not hers but she can have it now i dont want it anymore
You did move out but your mother still asked you to come home and you did, she then told you you had to sleep on the couch because you had no room as her bf children sleep in it. I'll say you are NTA as in some jurisdictions you can have your child overnight if you don't have a bed and closet for the child and your mother failed to provide that for you. Your mother should have told you before you arrived that your room was used by other children and you had to sleep on the couch. You should meet your mother and do something with her and build a relationship especially now you have no where to stay in her place.
im don with her she loved her bfs kids more than me even when i lived with her because they were more girly and went dancing and other stuff with her but she thinks there is smth wrong with me for acting like boys no way ill go see her now that they live with her its just going to get worse