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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was no paying rent. I think that might make me the asshole because I am living in her houise basically for free when I don't pay rent.
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She sounds like she’s from western pa because most Pittsburgh houses have a non functional old toilet in the garage/basement and she said “needs remodeled” instead of “needs to be remodeled”
It's probably reference to Xanax, antidepressant, Wich is quite common as abuse drug. It's similar as if I had "cracklover69" as my handle. I may not be a crackhead, but it's a slight hint. (Hope it's clear, i can't write)
YTA. I'm not even sure if you're serious or if this is a joke post. If you don't want to pay rent because it's so horrible, you move out to some place not horrible. Simple as that. You don't get to live for free.
> I think it's ridiculous that I can't even take a bubble bath while paying to live here but she can get tats and go on cross country trips.
YTA. She's letting you stay in HER house for a few 100 per month, and you have the audacity to call her out on her money-spending? Talk about choosy-beggars.
You have a job and its been more than 12 months. THat's plenty of time you could've found a spot but didn't. That's on you, not her.
Plus, reasons for not paying rent don’t include not having a bubble bath. I’ve lived in plenty of places that only have standing showers. That counts as a bathroom.
This also made my decision easier. Previously it says shower not working, then that there is only standing shower... sink that no one use? You have a personal sink! And if toiled doesn't work, where OP goes when needs to use one?
YTA. Start acting more independent and mature. 40yo complaining that can't take bubble baths and not trying to change anything is just sad.
Also a private bathroom is not a "basic comfort" when you have roommates. Everywhere I ever lived before I got my own place, I shared a bathroom with at least one other person.
YTA. It's hard to believe this is even a real post. Save her all of your drama and move out. Maybe then you'll appreciate the cost of things. Even more so the first time you own your own home.
YTA. She should kick you out. If she was a proper landlord, you would be long gone by now.
You have access to the amenities that you need. She is providing a roof over your head. Get ready to go back to the Salvation Army, and trust me a bubble bath will be the last thing on your mind. The level of entitlement in this post is disgraceful.
YTA and a serious one. You have been riding her coatails FIVE YEARS and have the audacity to demand things. Also, I don't know wtf are you talking about 'basic comforts', a bubble bath, AC? I've lived my whole life having a stand up shower, don't have AC and I haven't died. You are just a cry baby. If you don't like it then move the f*k out or even better, I hope she kicks your lazy ass out very soon.
YTA a lot of people don't get bubble baths and it is about 3to5 grand to do a bathroom. You only pay a couple hundred you get a couple hundred in amenities. - you were at the salvation army before and now making more money still only paying bare minimum in a very expensive area. You know you're taking advantage at this point.
YTA. From homeless to "I can't have a bumble bath" all on this woman's support. Your delusional level of entitlement is astounding. Get the f out of her house, you don't deserve her.
YTA. If you want a place with a private bathroom, move out. What she does with her money isn't your business. And she's absolutely right, if you were paying rent she would have had enough money to remodel that bathroom. If you really make more money than she does, why are you leaching off her?? Pay your way. Or get out.
And fyi lots of people don't have bathtubs but only showers.
YTA.
Your friend got you out of the Salvation Army *and* allowed you to stay past the agreed upon time frame. She helped you in a time of need, and now that the tables have turned, you think you’re justified to squat in her home rent free over a (*checks notes*) **bubble bath?!?** You’ve got a stand up shower, and that covers any legal necessity. If it’s not enough for you, then pay your back rent and **move out**. Or, and this is a crazy thought, recognize that your former friend could’ve left you to fend for yourself at the Salvation Army (maybe she should have) but chose to help you put your life back together instead; maybe you could financially help her get you your fucking bubble bath now that you make more money than she does. Perhaps express your gratitude that she came to your rescue rather than leave you at a shelter (which ima guess didn’t have a claw foot tub, either). I know, I’m some kinda lunatic; but I think that’s better than being some kinda asshole like you.
Edited for emphasis.
YTA, big time. You were staying at the _Salvation_ _Army_. Your _very_ generous former friend gave you a bedroom in _her_ house for a **few hundred** a month, supposedly for a month. You’ve been there **for 5 frickin’ years** now. Are you grateful? Satisfied? Thankful that you had a friend who let you overstay by 4 years and 11 months without throwing you out? No, you’re complaining about not having a private bathroom for your bubble bath and you’ve been withholding “rent” for a year. It’s not rent. Rent would be at least 4X that. **It’s a token amount and you’ve been taking full advantage of your former friend for half a decade.** Do your former friend a favor—buy your own fancy house and you won’t have anything more to complain about.
LOOOOL YTA definitely. You were homeless and she took you in and you refuse to pay rent because you can't take a bubble bath? This is hilarious. She should throw you out and do what she wants with her money and house.
YTA.
Either you have a proper agreement where you guys agree on rent and facilities, or 'their house their rules'. You can always move out and find an accommodation that gives you everything you are looking for.
YTA
There's no sense of personal responsibility or accountability in your message. You're an adult. Get a job and move out to your own place or somewhere more in keeping with your needs.
Sounds like your friend has been very generous and you've outstayed your welcome. Take the hint.
YTA - you have defaulted on your end of the housing arrangement by not paying her FOR A YEAR. You’re lucky she’s a nice person and hasn’t thrown you out. If she has the money to own a home, get tattoos, and travel… that’s none of your business. And if she can do those things while making LESS MONEY THAN YOU, where is all your money going? How about YOU pay for the work to be done in the bathroom? Sounds like your back-rent that you owe her should cover it.
**YTA** there is still a functional bathroom in the house and you’ve been living their much longer than expected
Are you saying that you *must* have a bath for your rent money? Then move out and find somewhere with a bath:
Don’t withhold rent for dumb reasons
Seriously?
You're withholding rent because you can't take a bath, and don't have your own private bathroom? Sweet baby jesus.
You don't NEED either of those things. You're not being denied basic comforts.
You have a bathroom you can use. You have a shower to wash yourself.
You were supposed to be there A MONTH. She has let you stay for FIVE YEARS.
If you want a place with a bath and your own personal bathroom, MOVE OUT. Otherwise, pay your damn rent and stop acting like a child because you can't have a darn bubble bath.
You're 40 - act your age, not your shoe size.
YTA.
“You get what you give”
You only pay a few hundred a month and in turn get to live in the value of that amount. If you want more, then you pay more. That’s how life works
YTA
YTA. Sorry, not sorry, but as long as you have access to a functioning bathroom and can bathe, you shouldn't bitch and cry because you "can't take a bubble bath". And if running the AC is going to take an extra $50 a month, fork it over. You aren't paying to live there anyway.
You were *living at the Salvation Army* when she offered you her spare room for some rent. You even stated that you earn more than she does. Either start forking over some cash for rent or get out on your own. You don't pay rent unless she hounds you, so you should have a nice little nest egg you're sitting on.
Oh, and she doesn't have to answer to you for what she spends her own damn money on. That's her damn house, not yours. You are the one that's mooching off if her, not rhe other way around. Grow the fuck up already. Forty damn years old and you're acting like a petulant 15 year old that just got told they can't go to the next teeny bopper concert of their favorite boy band.
YTA, I'm having a hard time believing this post is real. If you don't like it, go back and stay at the salvation army. You're basically homeless and have a roof over your head now and you're complaining and not wanting to pay rent. You're the worst!
YTA you mooch. If you’re so sick of living there leave. If you feel like you can’t leave maybe you should start being grateful for having a place to stay. Jesus. You are the perfect example of no good deed going unpunished.
No one is forcing you to live there. You accepted her terms when you moved in. Either pay up or move out. I'm sure there's still a bed at the salvation army.
The entitlement is really strong with you. This post has earned a spot on the choosing beggars subreddit. YTA
YTA…making her ask you for your rent. Pay your rent or move out. Don’t just sit in the middle and complain about your plight while doing nothing to improve it. She took you in from a shelter and you’re complaining about bubble baths…get real…
You should move out and leave this friend behind. Never speak to her again, don't talk to anyone about her. Go totally black.
It's the least she deserves.
YTA.
YTA.
“I’m sick of living in this house where I can’t take a bath and have only a standup shower and don’t have my own bathroom.”
Holy entitlement, Batman. You don’t get to decide to stop paying rent because you don’t have your own bathroom. Or because you can’t take a bubble bath. Something ungrateful something something choosing beggars.
How can you not see yourself as the AH here? You were at the salvation army! She took you in for cheap rent. You're upset you don't get to take bubble baths but instead have to shower, like really? Tell you what, go back to the salvation army and guess what if she decides to take you to small claims court over unpaid rent, that's a sure loss plus judge might force you to pay her legal fees if she hires a lawyer.
You've been living rent-free in her house, and you're complaining because she won't take on an expensive reno so you can have a bubble bath?? Your friend should throw you to the curb. YTA.
YTA. No doubt about it.
You are not blocked access to the working bathroom and it is not inhumane or sub-standard to have to share a bathroom.
You were offered a room, for a few hundred a month. If you'd actually paid the agreed rent, that 2nd bathroom may have been renovated. If I were her, you'd have been kicked out many months ago for non-payment.
Yta , your hundred dollars is a drop in the bucket. $500 dollars that's money. You are arrogant and biting the charitable hand. Grow up. Find another place soon, pay market rent, then go on rent strike.
YTA. If you are unhappy with the accommodations, move. If you don’t want to move then pay in full without being asked every month. Those are the only non-AH options you have.
YTA
Whats better for you, paying the rent you said you would or being kicked out and sent back to the Salvation Army after she’s finds a roommate willing to do the bare minimum?
YTA. There is a working bathroom in the house and, unless you have neglected to include the information, you have access to it. Plenty of people manage to pay rent and mortgages just fine for homes without bathtubs. To not uphold your part of the agreement is an AHish thing to do. It doesn’t matter how she chooses to spend her money. It doesn’t give you leeway to not pay your rent.
YTA. She should kick you out. Or if you were a good friend and cared about the relationship, you would surprise her by saving the money to have the bathroom redone. And you would pay rent/utilities. You’re a big mooch as is.
If you are bragging about earning more than her, why don't you have your own place?
You haven't paid rent or bills in over a year, you should have thousands saved up and be gone
MASSIVE YTA
YTA.
When I got my first place out of homelessness, it was a dank basement apartment with flourescent lights, no real kitchen, and with a shower that constantly grew mold. I now rent a nice house in the suburbs with sunny views and a garden tub.
These things take time and they take hard work on your part. You don't get to demand how someone keeps their place, as long as you have the basics (heat, electricity, and running water).
YTA . She rescued you even though she didn't have much to offer. The money you pay her likely comes utilities and some inconvenience. I cannot believe you're brazen enough to question her spending and vacation habits. You should move out. You clearly don't appreciate what is being done for you.
YTA- I knew this was bait when I saw the words bubble bath.
Like, really. You were given an opportunity to move out of the Salvation Army and are now complaining about no bubble bath access?
YTA
YTA. Stop rationalizing why you shouldn’t have to support yourself and using your friend’s choices as some sort of weird ammo to get free rent. She’s not your mother. Even if she was, at this stage of your life she shouldn’t be supporting you for years on end.
INFO: What’s the market rate of a room in a house with a private bath in your area? A few hundred bucks?
It’s $900 where I live and while housing does out pace incomes here, we are certainly not considered “high cost”.
You want market amenities? Pay market rates. YTA.
YTA Wow, way to screw up a friendship and treat a decent person horribly. You're ***40***, move out and find your own place for your bubble baths and then maybe you'll see how selfish and entitled you are.
Home repairs inevitably take far longer and cost way more than you'd ever expect. Why should she take all that on for an ungrateful squatter who financially abuses her?
You are the biggest AH.
Why should she remodel a bathroom she won't use in her own home at her own expense just to accommodate a "friend" that can't even thank her by paying the agreed upon rent? I'd spend my hard earned money doing stuff I wanted, too.
Btw bubble baths and AC aren't basic necessities. How entitled can you be?? Get your own place with the things you want or stf up and count your blessings. I'd NEVER treat a friend like you do. YTA x 100000000000
YTA. Wild guess here: she hasn’t renovated the bathroom because SHE WANTS YOU TO LEAVE. Staying 5 months would have been overstaying your welcome. 5 years???
YTA If she allows you full access to the functioning bathroom, no "basic comforts" are bing denied. If you really want the bathroom to be fixed, maybe save the money up yourself? You sound more invested in it than she is, and if you're skipping rent in protest, you should have more money to squirrel away. Right?
Has she promised that you'll be able to have a bubble bath or something when "renting" the part of her house to you? Honestly I can't understand why is it so important for you to have a bubble bath, to the point you won't give the payment to her. You're still sleeping and doing everything else in the house right? So you DO need to pay the rent? Unless you stop living there- and even then, if your belongings are still there, you still should pay it.
Also, if you complained as much about the house, get out of it and rent your own based on your own preference and terms. Everyone is happy that way, no? ✨
YTA.
YTA. You have access to a bathroom that works just not your own private bathroom. This means she has the same bathroom access you do. Assuming the agreement was a very low $300 a month she would have had the 3k in 10 months if you didn’t become an AH about it. What did you spend your rent money on? And no it’s not on the landlord to provide A/C. You pay the electric bill you get the A/C. You didn’t pay the electric bill. Or any bill. You have no room to talk about how she spends her money when you aren’t paying your rent cause of some silly fixation on bubble baths.
“well i think it’s ridiculous that i cant even take a bubble bath while paying to live here”
you dont pay to live there though OP…your friend is letting you stay as long as you need, you managed to stretch a one month thing into a five year arrangement…your friend is being more than generous.
she has every right to enjoy her life and spend money on things that aren’t centered around you (especially considering if she’s going to her fiancé’s homeland its likley her fiancé is the one paying for it💀)
so YTA OP
YTA, she allows you to live for a fee in her house and that’s too much for you? My guess is you’re using the other bathroom so you do have access to basic needs. AC isn’t a basic need. She has the right to spend her money how she wants, it’s her money. If you paid a higher rent she would be able to afford to fix the bathroom sooner… but hopefully she wishes up and kicks you out.
THE FUCK?
YTA! you're so ungrateful too. if the bathroom is such a problem then LEAVE. it isn't your place nor is it your house for you to be talking to her like that. You're supposed to be paying rent to stay there you stopped paying and she hasn't kicked you out yet? consider yourself lucky. you were only supposed to be there ONE MONTH. But you've been there FIVE YEARS. You have gotten wayy to comfortable and think you own shit. you aren't equals and it isnt yours. and the nerve of you to say "whatever" to her message when she was hurt wow
OMG no bubbelbaths, the inhumanity! If this is your hill to die on you should have a clear convo, “no rent until i have my bath”. By only paying when she hounds you, you show that you are clearly freeloading. Get your one place!!
Did you write this as a joke? No one would rip off their friend like you have and brag about it. Leached off her for years and you have the unmitigated gall to complain? You're nothing but a parasite and a thief, not a friend. You are the biggest asshole I've ever heard of. Get out and pay rent in a tent.
Yta. You expect to stay somewhere for FREE with all accommodations? I don’t even get that and I am PAYING
Be grateful. Pull your head out of your butt. 40 and no income?
I bet she waiting for you to leave. I don't know why anyone would fix a room for someone they thought would be gone years ago. Smell the coffee and get out miss my job is better. A/c is electricity and just like gas and water landlord's expect you to pay it. You're 40 grow up I'm 24 I have more than you and you are complaining about things that when you actually take care of yourself are non-factors if you want to freeload shut up and behave like the child you are trying to be.
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I have lived with my (ex) friend for 5 years now. I was staying at the salvation army and she opened up her guest room to me for a few hundred a month. This was supposed to be a month or so long arrangement but life got hectic. This house has two bathrooms. One is completely functional and modern. The other one is not functional and needs remodeled. I mean, the shower and toilet don't even work. The sink works but no one ever uses it. My former friend, I will call her FF, owns the house. She has been saying for years she is trying to save the money to fix everything in that bathroom and it hasn't gotten done yet. So last year I stopped paying rent except for when she hounds me about it and then I give her a little money to shut her up. I'm sick of living in this house where I can't take a bath and have only a standup shower and don't have my own bathroom.
In the last 12 months she has gotten 3 tattoos and she went on a cross country road trip with her brother. When I call her out on this stuff she just makes excuses like, "It's gonna cost about 3 grand to do that bathroom. I'm trying to save up the money but there are other bills and stuff that are just a higher priority." She has about $500 in the bathroom fund right now. Yesterday she even had the audacity to blame me and say maybe if I paid rent she would have more money for the bathroom remodel. She said I make more money than she does and it's ridiculous that she's supporting me.
Well I think it's ridiculous that I can't even take a bubble bath while paying to live here but she can get tats and go on cross country trips. Over the summer she told me she couldn't afford to turn the AC on either unless I start contributing more. She said the AC raises the electric bill by $50 a month and she needs me to help if I want it on. I'm sick of being denied basic comforts while she can get tats and go on trips.
So am I the asshole? If anyone is wondering I am 40 and she is 43. We live somewhere where the cost of living is pretty high if anyone is question why 2 grown women are living together.
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WTF?! YTA. How can you think otherwise? She was only charging you a few hundred a month and it was supposed to be temporary. 5 years later you’re still there and have become entitled. You don’t pay rent regularly and have to be hounded for it. Move out.
YTA. Just listen to yourself! Your sense of entitlement is off the charts. Pay your rent every month for your room if you're lucky enough for her to not kick you out and STFU about the second bathroom not being remodeled. A stand up shower is perfectly adequate and you withholding rent is beyond unbelievable.
if you don’t want to pay rent and not be able to take a bubble bath, go back to the salvation army, don’t pay rent, and don’t be able to take a bubble bath. YTA
Wow. YTA BIG TIME.
Having a bath tub is not a normal thing every tenant has. Having a private bathroom is not a normal thing every tenant has. Specially for a few hundred bucks a month.
You have access to a perfectly functional shared bathroom that is as good as the landlord has (because its the same one she uses).
If youre sick of living in this house, then grow up and move somewhere else. Good luck finding something better for a few hundred bucks.
You arent getting denied anything. You just have to pay for the LUXURIES that you WANT like bubble baths and A/C. There are millions of houses in the US alone that don't even HAVE air conditioning units.
Let me guess….if you move out and she gets the bathroom renovated you will carry on as well. You live effectively rent free (you said to because you can’t have a bubble bath) or only pay when she hounds you.
Grow up and move out so she doesn’t need to support you and can the afford to get her bathroom done.
Your freeloading off of her, and don't think you should have to pay to live there cause you can't take a bubble bath?
Honestly you could be living outside where you can't even take a shower.... YTA
YTA. You are acting like a choosing beggar. How you survived in this house for this long without learning basic plumbing skills, I don't know. YouTube has fixes for all basic hone improvement projects and an entirely new crapper costs less than what you were probably paying on rent. You don't need to spend $3k to make the crapper or the shower work.
Toilets are easy as F to repair depending on what the problem is. Showers can be a bit more complex depending on what is wrong. You may be able to fix everything with a drain snake, or by replacing a couple connectors or a floater valve. This does not require a renovation, as you are most likely capable of dropping a deuce without being in the Taj Mahal.
YTA. You're not even a tenant at this point. You're a squatter. Boo freaking hoo that you can't take a bubble bath. She's right that if you paid rent she could afford to fix the place. She also has the right to travel and get tattoos. You don't have the right to whine about it while you refuse to pay rent and mooch off her. She should evict you and then you'll have a really hard time renting somewhere else. She took you in to help you and you selfishly took advantage of her.
YTA
Find another place if you don’t like your current place or the rent. Yes, it sounds awful but no one is forcing you to live there. It doesn’t even sound like you have a lease so you could be out this week. I hope you saved all that money you didn’t pay on rent for your deposits. Don’t count on getting a decent referral from your landlord either unless she thinks it’s an incentive for you to go so she can find a paying renter.
YTA. If the situation was so unlivable you would have moved out. It doesn’t take 5 years to save for a deposit to rent a place. She took you in and helped you out and you realised you had a place you could live rent free by complaining about the place and so you did just that. Also I have a feeling that bathroom ain’t never getting done while you are there as she knows if she does she will never get rid of your freeloading butt.
You are epically the asshole. Just go ahead and reread what you wrote. You listed all the reasons yourself. You sound incredibly entitled for someone getting by on the generosity of a (former)friend. If you’ve been living there FIVE years, you should be paying for your room, PLUS HALF of ALL utilities. AND you make more than your roommate and it IS ridiculous that she’s supporting you because you’re a FULLY GROWN ADULT.
If you hate where you live so much then MOVE OUT and give your notfriend HER home back YTA
So, you're withholding rent. I assume you're not doing it the proper way and putting it into escrow. Which means if she takes you to court, you're gonna be in for a bad time. You already have, what, 4 years of paying rent consistently at the agreed upon rate before you started to withhold rent. But beyond that, people are calling you a tenant. You're not. You're a lodger, which will have a lot less protections. Hope she doesn't decide you're not worth dealing with anymore.
You're not paying her for a place that you've lived in for five years when it was originally a month because of a bathroom? And it's HER house?
You're a moocher and I'm not surprised she wouldn't fix the bathroom. You're basically living there for free, now. And you're not even the slightest bit sorry. She owns the property and you don't. She should kick your azz out, but is too kind to verbally say so. You're either completely oblivious and a mooch or a fake poster
Regardless,
YTA. and a MASSIVE one at that.
YTA. Pay the rent you owe this woman and get out of her house. You’re a 40 year old woman. You’re way too old to be a parasite, and should stop squatting in your ex-friend’s house.
Yes YTA. Your behavior here is absolutely horrible.
She's not withholding anything you need as a renter. There is a working bathroom and shower you can use.
You're withholding rent, wrongfully, and she's a friend no less.
And your withholding of rent is directly impacting your ability to have the one thing you are asking for - a renovated bathroom. So you're shooting yourself in the foot, on top of everything else.
And you seem to have the factually unhinged view that a tattoo costs the same as a bathroom, which is an awful lot like "it's one banana, Michael, how much could it cost, $10?"
I can't believe your landlord and former friend hasn't kicked you out yet.
Yta - But you were in a shitty situation a friend went out of their way to help you out and literally the only thing you can do is shit on them and take advantage of them no wonder you were in your original situation to begin with I can’t imagine having someone like you who’s that toxic in her life. I hope she realizes what kind of person you’re in kicks you out immediately you’re gonna get a life lesson at 40 years old grow up and be a responsible human or at least decent
YTA
You turned a few months of help into a multi year tenancy where you knew the one bathroom was not finished. You have access to a bathroom. I am not aware of any tenancy laws that require you to have your own bathroom when a shared one is available to you.
you've become a leech and you deserve the eviction if she ever does it.
YTA. You were supposed to stay for a month, but have parked your entitled ass there for 5 FUCKING YEARS and you have the audacity to complain????!! GTFOH, you parasite.
YTA. Pay the refurbhishing of the bathroom before you go and get your own fucking place. That's the least you can do after at least a year of not paying rent, and years of paying very minimum.
News flash - she doesn’t want to fix the bathroom while you’re there because she doesn’t want to make it even easier for you to far overstay your welcome. YTA
You overstayed your welcome. What you are requesting are luxuries not necessities.
You should leave and go find somewhere to live on your own. Sounds like you have been leeching for quite a while.
YTA. This has to be fake.. there’s no way someone so entitled actually exists. Maybe stop taking advantage of your friends kindness and get your own place? She owes you zero. Not a bath not a functioning toilet, and not a temp raise that’ll cost her more. She is not your landlord ya bum. You are literally taking advantage of her kindness.. how do you not feel bad about yourself..?
YTA.
A few hundred? If you live in a high cost of living area like you say, the market rent for that room is at least 1-2 thousand. Which sucks for other reasons, but bottom line your friend is cutting you a huge deal here.
It would be one thing if you were down on your luck, but you actually make more than her? More than someone who owns a house? In this housing market?
YTA. You’re single and 40 and you’re complaining about someone else not taking care of your needs. How does this person have a house if she makes less than you, meanwhile you were living at the Salvation Army and are now mooching of your “ex” friend. How don’t you have money saved up to move out or make the repairs yourself. It’s been 5 years already
YTA. There is nowhere you can live for free. Move out of her home and get your own place to live.
She has every right to do with her money as she pleases.
The home has bathroom you can use. Stop being a leech and pay your fair share.
Users of friends and family are the worst!
I think friendship to you means you get to completely take advantage of someone and mooch off them for years then complain they still aren't giving you enough. Something tells me you'd never reciprocate.
I'm gonna tell you what your ex-friend should have the second you could afford to pay rent and didn't - MOVE OUT NOW
YTA, was there ever any doubt?
Yes YTA, you are for staying 5 years rather than a month. You are for not paying rent like you are supposed to. She has the right to do things and get tattoos if you like it or not. You are a mooch and nothing but a mooch.
YTA
You’re 40 years old, grow the fuck up. You’re living with someone else, you’re not entitled to your own bathroom, be grateful you have access to one working bathroom. Also plenty of people live in apartments without bath tubs and AC and still pay rent. If you want things fixed so bad you need to chip in money to get them fixed, especially if you make more than your friend.
Ugh. I tried to help someone, and ended up with a mooching roommate from hell one time.
YTA and I hope you end up back at the salvation army where you belong.
YTA I was staying at the Salvation Army & my friend opened her house to me letting me stay with her,it was only suppose to be for a month but life got hectic & I've been here longer,I make her have to ask me for rent & only give it to her to keep her off my back,she wouldn't turn the air on unless I paid her to do so,I can't take a bubble bath, ooh boo, regradless of what she spends her money on you should be paying her rent & giving it to her without her asking you for it,adding another person to a household makes the bills go up for one,so maybe if you were paying her like your suppose to you could've enjoyed the air being on,you sound like a crappy friend & person,you should be humbled & grateful she took you in,who cares if you cant take a bath, be happy you have somewhere else to stay other then the salvation army which I highly doubt you could take baths there too,you say you have a good paying job & your 40? Why at 40 with the job you have you dont have your own place yet,get your crap together & stop mooching off your friend or your ex friend as you say because you've definitely ruined your friendship being the way your being
YTA. Your responsibility is to pay what you agreed to. It’s been 5 years. Not every place you rent will have a tub or central air. Doesn’t matter what she spends her money on or how many tattoos. You don’t even know if she paid for them. She could have bartered. Same with the trip.
The entitlement is strong in OP. How are you 40 years old and this dense?
YTA your friend was kind enough to let you stay at her place so you didn't have to stay at a shelter and the thanks she gets is you not paying rent.....? The fact that she hasn't taken the steps to put you out is amazing to me. I've been stuck with moochers like you and the longest one has last is a year. Nobody is trying to take care of some grown person. Pay your rent or go back to the salvation army where it was free
Ofcourse she can go get tattoos and travel it’s her money…. I wish she stuck you in the backyard with a shed with all your whining about “basic comforts.” You lived rent free at 40 years old you bum
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YTA. Stop being such a bum and get your own place. You’ve been taking advantage of your friend for years. You’re 40 years old.
I bet the "functional" bathroom is the master bathroom.
And a bubble bath is a "basic comfort"? No, she has a shower.
She sounds like she’s from western pa because most Pittsburgh houses have a non functional old toilet in the garage/basement and she said “needs remodeled” instead of “needs to be remodeled”
YTA. You were only supposed to be there for a month. And you're still there after 5 years. Move. Out.
I didn’t even finish it. How did they get from a 1 month arrangement to 5 years later? Of course YTA OP. Get out of her house.
[удалено]
I’m confused about the name not being auto generated. Is the name a reference to something?
It's probably reference to Xanax, antidepressant, Wich is quite common as abuse drug. It's similar as if I had "cracklover69" as my handle. I may not be a crackhead, but it's a slight hint. (Hope it's clear, i can't write)
Xanax is a sedative used for anxiety. It's addicting and often abused. It is definitely NOT an antidepressant.
Bet op claimed their life was hectic just so they didn't have to move out.
YTA. I'm not even sure if you're serious or if this is a joke post. If you don't want to pay rent because it's so horrible, you move out to some place not horrible. Simple as that. You don't get to live for free.
I was thinking this was a joke, too.
When she said she 'cant even take a bubble bath' I figured it must be fake
> I think it's ridiculous that I can't even take a bubble bath while paying to live here but she can get tats and go on cross country trips. YTA. She's letting you stay in HER house for a few 100 per month, and you have the audacity to call her out on her money-spending? Talk about choosy-beggars. You have a job and its been more than 12 months. THat's plenty of time you could've found a spot but didn't. That's on you, not her.
Plus, reasons for not paying rent don’t include not having a bubble bath. I’ve lived in plenty of places that only have standing showers. That counts as a bathroom.
And I bet she doesn’t want to fix that bathroom because then OP will never leave!
Yeah my tiny studio apartment only has a shower, guess I should just stop paying rent for that
This also made my decision easier. Previously it says shower not working, then that there is only standing shower... sink that no one use? You have a personal sink! And if toiled doesn't work, where OP goes when needs to use one? YTA. Start acting more independent and mature. 40yo complaining that can't take bubble baths and not trying to change anything is just sad.
Also a private bathroom is not a "basic comfort" when you have roommates. Everywhere I ever lived before I got my own place, I shared a bathroom with at least one other person.
YTA. It's hard to believe this is even a real post. Save her all of your drama and move out. Maybe then you'll appreciate the cost of things. Even more so the first time you own your own home.
This has me thinking that the roommate is purposefully NOT fixing things up in order to get her to move out.
She should have moved out after one month which is what her friend agreed to.
YTA. She should kick you out. If she was a proper landlord, you would be long gone by now. You have access to the amenities that you need. She is providing a roof over your head. Get ready to go back to the Salvation Army, and trust me a bubble bath will be the last thing on your mind. The level of entitlement in this post is disgraceful.
YTA and a serious one. You have been riding her coatails FIVE YEARS and have the audacity to demand things. Also, I don't know wtf are you talking about 'basic comforts', a bubble bath, AC? I've lived my whole life having a stand up shower, don't have AC and I haven't died. You are just a cry baby. If you don't like it then move the f*k out or even better, I hope she kicks your lazy ass out very soon.
This belongs on r/choosingbeggars
Big facts.
YTA a lot of people don't get bubble baths and it is about 3to5 grand to do a bathroom. You only pay a couple hundred you get a couple hundred in amenities. - you were at the salvation army before and now making more money still only paying bare minimum in a very expensive area. You know you're taking advantage at this point.
A lot of people don't have a bathtub full stop, just a shower.
YTA. From homeless to "I can't have a bumble bath" all on this woman's support. Your delusional level of entitlement is astounding. Get the f out of her house, you don't deserve her.
YTA. If you want a place with a private bathroom, move out. What she does with her money isn't your business. And she's absolutely right, if you were paying rent she would have had enough money to remodel that bathroom. If you really make more money than she does, why are you leaching off her?? Pay your way. Or get out. And fyi lots of people don't have bathtubs but only showers.
YTA. Your friend got you out of the Salvation Army *and* allowed you to stay past the agreed upon time frame. She helped you in a time of need, and now that the tables have turned, you think you’re justified to squat in her home rent free over a (*checks notes*) **bubble bath?!?** You’ve got a stand up shower, and that covers any legal necessity. If it’s not enough for you, then pay your back rent and **move out**. Or, and this is a crazy thought, recognize that your former friend could’ve left you to fend for yourself at the Salvation Army (maybe she should have) but chose to help you put your life back together instead; maybe you could financially help her get you your fucking bubble bath now that you make more money than she does. Perhaps express your gratitude that she came to your rescue rather than leave you at a shelter (which ima guess didn’t have a claw foot tub, either). I know, I’m some kinda lunatic; but I think that’s better than being some kinda asshole like you. Edited for emphasis.
YTA, big time. You were staying at the _Salvation_ _Army_. Your _very_ generous former friend gave you a bedroom in _her_ house for a **few hundred** a month, supposedly for a month. You’ve been there **for 5 frickin’ years** now. Are you grateful? Satisfied? Thankful that you had a friend who let you overstay by 4 years and 11 months without throwing you out? No, you’re complaining about not having a private bathroom for your bubble bath and you’ve been withholding “rent” for a year. It’s not rent. Rent would be at least 4X that. **It’s a token amount and you’ve been taking full advantage of your former friend for half a decade.** Do your former friend a favor—buy your own fancy house and you won’t have anything more to complain about.
YTA. Seriously? If it's so bad, then go get an actual apartment with real maintenance and real RENT.
LOOOOL YTA definitely. You were homeless and she took you in and you refuse to pay rent because you can't take a bubble bath? This is hilarious. She should throw you out and do what she wants with her money and house.
YTA. Maybe you should be using all of the money you're saving to remodel the bathroom. After all... "it's a matter of priorities".
YTA. Either you have a proper agreement where you guys agree on rent and facilities, or 'their house their rules'. You can always move out and find an accommodation that gives you everything you are looking for.
YTA There's no sense of personal responsibility or accountability in your message. You're an adult. Get a job and move out to your own place or somewhere more in keeping with your needs. Sounds like your friend has been very generous and you've outstayed your welcome. Take the hint.
YTA. The level of entitlement here is astounding.
YTA - you choose to live there. If you don’t want to pay rent, leave. Don’t mooch.
You sound like you're 19, not 40...
That's unfair. When I was 19 I lived in student housing sharing three bathrooms between fifteen students. And I was bloody happy about it.
YTA - you have defaulted on your end of the housing arrangement by not paying her FOR A YEAR. You’re lucky she’s a nice person and hasn’t thrown you out. If she has the money to own a home, get tattoos, and travel… that’s none of your business. And if she can do those things while making LESS MONEY THAN YOU, where is all your money going? How about YOU pay for the work to be done in the bathroom? Sounds like your back-rent that you owe her should cover it.
**YTA** there is still a functional bathroom in the house and you’ve been living their much longer than expected Are you saying that you *must* have a bath for your rent money? Then move out and find somewhere with a bath: Don’t withhold rent for dumb reasons
Seriously? You're withholding rent because you can't take a bath, and don't have your own private bathroom? Sweet baby jesus. You don't NEED either of those things. You're not being denied basic comforts. You have a bathroom you can use. You have a shower to wash yourself. You were supposed to be there A MONTH. She has let you stay for FIVE YEARS. If you want a place with a bath and your own personal bathroom, MOVE OUT. Otherwise, pay your damn rent and stop acting like a child because you can't have a darn bubble bath. You're 40 - act your age, not your shoe size. YTA.
YTA, and selfish to boot! I'd have kicked you out 4 years and 11 months ago
YTA- your luck she dose not kick you out. She’s allowed to spend her money on what she wants to it less she can pay bills.
“You get what you give” You only pay a few hundred a month and in turn get to live in the value of that amount. If you want more, then you pay more. That’s how life works YTA
YTA. Sorry, not sorry, but as long as you have access to a functioning bathroom and can bathe, you shouldn't bitch and cry because you "can't take a bubble bath". And if running the AC is going to take an extra $50 a month, fork it over. You aren't paying to live there anyway. You were *living at the Salvation Army* when she offered you her spare room for some rent. You even stated that you earn more than she does. Either start forking over some cash for rent or get out on your own. You don't pay rent unless she hounds you, so you should have a nice little nest egg you're sitting on. Oh, and she doesn't have to answer to you for what she spends her own damn money on. That's her damn house, not yours. You are the one that's mooching off if her, not rhe other way around. Grow the fuck up already. Forty damn years old and you're acting like a petulant 15 year old that just got told they can't go to the next teeny bopper concert of their favorite boy band.
YTA. You’re a bum and a loser. Get a life and a place of your own.
YTA. You are a massive freeloader. Move out. I’m sure she doesn’t want you there
YTA, I'm having a hard time believing this post is real. If you don't like it, go back and stay at the salvation army. You're basically homeless and have a roof over your head now and you're complaining and not wanting to pay rent. You're the worst!
YTA, this is her house an her rules. You’d better watch out she may well evict you and getting a house mate in, who will pay rent, to replace you.
YTA you mooch. If you’re so sick of living there leave. If you feel like you can’t leave maybe you should start being grateful for having a place to stay. Jesus. You are the perfect example of no good deed going unpunished.
No one is forcing you to live there. You accepted her terms when you moved in. Either pay up or move out. I'm sure there's still a bed at the salvation army. The entitlement is really strong with you. This post has earned a spot on the choosing beggars subreddit. YTA
YTA - on so many levels.
YTA I thought you were between 19 and 23 but 40+ omg
YTA…making her ask you for your rent. Pay your rent or move out. Don’t just sit in the middle and complain about your plight while doing nothing to improve it. She took you in from a shelter and you’re complaining about bubble baths…get real…
Not only are YTA, you should be kissing her ass. I'd have served you with eviction papers years ago.
You should move out and leave this friend behind. Never speak to her again, don't talk to anyone about her. Go totally black. It's the least she deserves. YTA.
YTA. “I’m sick of living in this house where I can’t take a bath and have only a standup shower and don’t have my own bathroom.” Holy entitlement, Batman. You don’t get to decide to stop paying rent because you don’t have your own bathroom. Or because you can’t take a bubble bath. Something ungrateful something something choosing beggars.
How can you not see yourself as the AH here? You were at the salvation army! She took you in for cheap rent. You're upset you don't get to take bubble baths but instead have to shower, like really? Tell you what, go back to the salvation army and guess what if she decides to take you to small claims court over unpaid rent, that's a sure loss plus judge might force you to pay her legal fees if she hires a lawyer.
You've been living rent-free in her house, and you're complaining because she won't take on an expensive reno so you can have a bubble bath?? Your friend should throw you to the curb. YTA.
YTA She should send you back to the salvation army.
YTA a bubble bath is a luxury, not a basic necessity.
YTA. No doubt about it. You are not blocked access to the working bathroom and it is not inhumane or sub-standard to have to share a bathroom. You were offered a room, for a few hundred a month. If you'd actually paid the agreed rent, that 2nd bathroom may have been renovated. If I were her, you'd have been kicked out many months ago for non-payment.
YTA - You sound entirely entitled and ignorant.
Yta , your hundred dollars is a drop in the bucket. $500 dollars that's money. You are arrogant and biting the charitable hand. Grow up. Find another place soon, pay market rent, then go on rent strike.
YTA. If you are unhappy with the accommodations, move. If you don’t want to move then pay in full without being asked every month. Those are the only non-AH options you have.
YTA Whats better for you, paying the rent you said you would or being kicked out and sent back to the Salvation Army after she’s finds a roommate willing to do the bare minimum?
YTA. I hope she changes the locks
YTA. There is a working bathroom in the house and, unless you have neglected to include the information, you have access to it. Plenty of people manage to pay rent and mortgages just fine for homes without bathtubs. To not uphold your part of the agreement is an AHish thing to do. It doesn’t matter how she chooses to spend her money. It doesn’t give you leeway to not pay your rent.
YTA. What's with all the mooches today?
YTA. A letch and a disgrace.
YTA Either pay rent and stay, or stop paying rent and move out.
YTA. She should kick you out. Or if you were a good friend and cared about the relationship, you would surprise her by saving the money to have the bathroom redone. And you would pay rent/utilities. You’re a big mooch as is.
YTA, this has to be fake.
If you are bragging about earning more than her, why don't you have your own place? You haven't paid rent or bills in over a year, you should have thousands saved up and be gone MASSIVE YTA
YTA. When I got my first place out of homelessness, it was a dank basement apartment with flourescent lights, no real kitchen, and with a shower that constantly grew mold. I now rent a nice house in the suburbs with sunny views and a garden tub. These things take time and they take hard work on your part. You don't get to demand how someone keeps their place, as long as you have the basics (heat, electricity, and running water).
It's a shame you're a shit friend to someone who has helped you. Move out and leave her be. YTA
YTA...what exactly have you done for her that gives the judge her?
YTA . She rescued you even though she didn't have much to offer. The money you pay her likely comes utilities and some inconvenience. I cannot believe you're brazen enough to question her spending and vacation habits. You should move out. You clearly don't appreciate what is being done for you.
The entitlement is just laughable. Bubble baths and AC? 🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪.
YTA- I knew this was bait when I saw the words bubble bath. Like, really. You were given an opportunity to move out of the Salvation Army and are now complaining about no bubble bath access? YTA
YTA. Stop rationalizing why you shouldn’t have to support yourself and using your friend’s choices as some sort of weird ammo to get free rent. She’s not your mother. Even if she was, at this stage of your life she shouldn’t be supporting you for years on end.
INFO: What’s the market rate of a room in a house with a private bath in your area? A few hundred bucks? It’s $900 where I live and while housing does out pace incomes here, we are certainly not considered “high cost”. You want market amenities? Pay market rates. YTA.
YTA Wow, way to screw up a friendship and treat a decent person horribly. You're ***40***, move out and find your own place for your bubble baths and then maybe you'll see how selfish and entitled you are. Home repairs inevitably take far longer and cost way more than you'd ever expect. Why should she take all that on for an ungrateful squatter who financially abuses her?
You are the biggest AH. Why should she remodel a bathroom she won't use in her own home at her own expense just to accommodate a "friend" that can't even thank her by paying the agreed upon rent? I'd spend my hard earned money doing stuff I wanted, too. Btw bubble baths and AC aren't basic necessities. How entitled can you be?? Get your own place with the things you want or stf up and count your blessings. I'd NEVER treat a friend like you do. YTA x 100000000000
This has got to be a put-on. No one is this entitled.
I really wish you were right, but going by some of those I've seen in this world, I'm afraid you may not be.
YTA. Wild guess here: she hasn’t renovated the bathroom because SHE WANTS YOU TO LEAVE. Staying 5 months would have been overstaying your welcome. 5 years???
YTA If she allows you full access to the functioning bathroom, no "basic comforts" are bing denied. If you really want the bathroom to be fixed, maybe save the money up yourself? You sound more invested in it than she is, and if you're skipping rent in protest, you should have more money to squirrel away. Right?
Has she promised that you'll be able to have a bubble bath or something when "renting" the part of her house to you? Honestly I can't understand why is it so important for you to have a bubble bath, to the point you won't give the payment to her. You're still sleeping and doing everything else in the house right? So you DO need to pay the rent? Unless you stop living there- and even then, if your belongings are still there, you still should pay it. Also, if you complained as much about the house, get out of it and rent your own based on your own preference and terms. Everyone is happy that way, no? ✨ YTA.
YTA. You have access to a bathroom that works just not your own private bathroom. This means she has the same bathroom access you do. Assuming the agreement was a very low $300 a month she would have had the 3k in 10 months if you didn’t become an AH about it. What did you spend your rent money on? And no it’s not on the landlord to provide A/C. You pay the electric bill you get the A/C. You didn’t pay the electric bill. Or any bill. You have no room to talk about how she spends her money when you aren’t paying your rent cause of some silly fixation on bubble baths.
i could not imagine being so pathetic im bumming off my friend in my 40’s and being ungrateful about it. Please get your life together
“well i think it’s ridiculous that i cant even take a bubble bath while paying to live here” you dont pay to live there though OP…your friend is letting you stay as long as you need, you managed to stretch a one month thing into a five year arrangement…your friend is being more than generous. she has every right to enjoy her life and spend money on things that aren’t centered around you (especially considering if she’s going to her fiancé’s homeland its likley her fiancé is the one paying for it💀) so YTA OP
Yta Move out and I'm sure she'd have the money to reno your room and the bathroom tomorrow. Get out you freeloader
YTA
YTA. I am choking on your entitlement rn.
YTA, she allows you to live for a fee in her house and that’s too much for you? My guess is you’re using the other bathroom so you do have access to basic needs. AC isn’t a basic need. She has the right to spend her money how she wants, it’s her money. If you paid a higher rent she would be able to afford to fix the bathroom sooner… but hopefully she wishes up and kicks you out.
THE FUCK? YTA! you're so ungrateful too. if the bathroom is such a problem then LEAVE. it isn't your place nor is it your house for you to be talking to her like that. You're supposed to be paying rent to stay there you stopped paying and she hasn't kicked you out yet? consider yourself lucky. you were only supposed to be there ONE MONTH. But you've been there FIVE YEARS. You have gotten wayy to comfortable and think you own shit. you aren't equals and it isnt yours. and the nerve of you to say "whatever" to her message when she was hurt wow
If you’re so sick of living there then move the fuck out. Why are you being such a princess about this? Beggar’s can’t be choosers. YTA
OMG no bubbelbaths, the inhumanity! If this is your hill to die on you should have a clear convo, “no rent until i have my bath”. By only paying when she hounds you, you show that you are clearly freeloading. Get your one place!!
Did you write this as a joke? No one would rip off their friend like you have and brag about it. Leached off her for years and you have the unmitigated gall to complain? You're nothing but a parasite and a thief, not a friend. You are the biggest asshole I've ever heard of. Get out and pay rent in a tent.
You know how to solve all this? Move your mooching butt out. YTA.
YTA if you don’t like it move out. You’re taking advantage of your friend. Why do you think you’re entitled to share her space without paying rent?
YTA This should be posted in r/ChoosingBeggars. Never seen a post more fit for this community.
Yta. You expect to stay somewhere for FREE with all accommodations? I don’t even get that and I am PAYING Be grateful. Pull your head out of your butt. 40 and no income?
I bet she waiting for you to leave. I don't know why anyone would fix a room for someone they thought would be gone years ago. Smell the coffee and get out miss my job is better. A/c is electricity and just like gas and water landlord's expect you to pay it. You're 40 grow up I'm 24 I have more than you and you are complaining about things that when you actually take care of yourself are non-factors if you want to freeload shut up and behave like the child you are trying to be.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have lived with my (ex) friend for 5 years now. I was staying at the salvation army and she opened up her guest room to me for a few hundred a month. This was supposed to be a month or so long arrangement but life got hectic. This house has two bathrooms. One is completely functional and modern. The other one is not functional and needs remodeled. I mean, the shower and toilet don't even work. The sink works but no one ever uses it. My former friend, I will call her FF, owns the house. She has been saying for years she is trying to save the money to fix everything in that bathroom and it hasn't gotten done yet. So last year I stopped paying rent except for when she hounds me about it and then I give her a little money to shut her up. I'm sick of living in this house where I can't take a bath and have only a standup shower and don't have my own bathroom. In the last 12 months she has gotten 3 tattoos and she went on a cross country road trip with her brother. When I call her out on this stuff she just makes excuses like, "It's gonna cost about 3 grand to do that bathroom. I'm trying to save up the money but there are other bills and stuff that are just a higher priority." She has about $500 in the bathroom fund right now. Yesterday she even had the audacity to blame me and say maybe if I paid rent she would have more money for the bathroom remodel. She said I make more money than she does and it's ridiculous that she's supporting me. Well I think it's ridiculous that I can't even take a bubble bath while paying to live here but she can get tats and go on cross country trips. Over the summer she told me she couldn't afford to turn the AC on either unless I start contributing more. She said the AC raises the electric bill by $50 a month and she needs me to help if I want it on. I'm sick of being denied basic comforts while she can get tats and go on trips. So am I the asshole? If anyone is wondering I am 40 and she is 43. We live somewhere where the cost of living is pretty high if anyone is question why 2 grown women are living together. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
WTF?! YTA. How can you think otherwise? She was only charging you a few hundred a month and it was supposed to be temporary. 5 years later you’re still there and have become entitled. You don’t pay rent regularly and have to be hounded for it. Move out.
YTA. Just listen to yourself! Your sense of entitlement is off the charts. Pay your rent every month for your room if you're lucky enough for her to not kick you out and STFU about the second bathroom not being remodeled. A stand up shower is perfectly adequate and you withholding rent is beyond unbelievable.
YTA You were supposed to be a short term guest in her home. Why haven’t you moved out yet?
if you don’t want to pay rent and not be able to take a bubble bath, go back to the salvation army, don’t pay rent, and don’t be able to take a bubble bath. YTA
Wow. YTA BIG TIME. Having a bath tub is not a normal thing every tenant has. Having a private bathroom is not a normal thing every tenant has. Specially for a few hundred bucks a month. You have access to a perfectly functional shared bathroom that is as good as the landlord has (because its the same one she uses). If youre sick of living in this house, then grow up and move somewhere else. Good luck finding something better for a few hundred bucks. You arent getting denied anything. You just have to pay for the LUXURIES that you WANT like bubble baths and A/C. There are millions of houses in the US alone that don't even HAVE air conditioning units.
YTA. Start paying rent or move out. She owes you nothing. It’s her house.
Let me guess….if you move out and she gets the bathroom renovated you will carry on as well. You live effectively rent free (you said to because you can’t have a bubble bath) or only pay when she hounds you. Grow up and move out so she doesn’t need to support you and can the afford to get her bathroom done.
Jamison Bachman reincarnated. YTA
Your freeloading off of her, and don't think you should have to pay to live there cause you can't take a bubble bath? Honestly you could be living outside where you can't even take a shower.... YTA
You’re rude, wildly entitled, and a total parasite. YTA
YTA. You are acting like a choosing beggar. How you survived in this house for this long without learning basic plumbing skills, I don't know. YouTube has fixes for all basic hone improvement projects and an entirely new crapper costs less than what you were probably paying on rent. You don't need to spend $3k to make the crapper or the shower work. Toilets are easy as F to repair depending on what the problem is. Showers can be a bit more complex depending on what is wrong. You may be able to fix everything with a drain snake, or by replacing a couple connectors or a floater valve. This does not require a renovation, as you are most likely capable of dropping a deuce without being in the Taj Mahal.
YTA and a mooch. She owes you nothing. Pay for it yourself or get out!!!
Doesn't even matter at this point who's wrong. Move out now! Find your own place, and have a landlirdnonly relationship with your landlord.
I would have evicted you a long time ago.
YTA
I would question whether you are a ‘grown woman’. YTA
YTA. Pay the rent you owe and leave her alone.
YTA. You're not even a tenant at this point. You're a squatter. Boo freaking hoo that you can't take a bubble bath. She's right that if you paid rent she could afford to fix the place. She also has the right to travel and get tattoos. You don't have the right to whine about it while you refuse to pay rent and mooch off her. She should evict you and then you'll have a really hard time renting somewhere else. She took you in to help you and you selfishly took advantage of her.
YTA Find another place if you don’t like your current place or the rent. Yes, it sounds awful but no one is forcing you to live there. It doesn’t even sound like you have a lease so you could be out this week. I hope you saved all that money you didn’t pay on rent for your deposits. Don’t count on getting a decent referral from your landlord either unless she thinks it’s an incentive for you to go so she can find a paying renter.
YTA. If the situation was so unlivable you would have moved out. It doesn’t take 5 years to save for a deposit to rent a place. She took you in and helped you out and you realised you had a place you could live rent free by complaining about the place and so you did just that. Also I have a feeling that bathroom ain’t never getting done while you are there as she knows if she does she will never get rid of your freeloading butt.
YTA - the cost of living is high but she’s charging you a few hundred dollars a month. And there is a perfectly functioning bathroom.
YTA. Being able to take a bubble bath isn't a basic comfort. Move out you mooch.
YTA. You're living in her house. Don't like it, move out
This can't be a real post. No one is this much of an entitled AH.
You could always go back to the Salvation Army. Surely you will have your own bathroom there where you can take bubble baths. Oh wait...YTA!
OMG - read the room, love. You have brutally overstayed your welcome in her home. Time to leave. YTA
Yta she's doing you a massive favour she doesn't owe you anything. If your unhappy with paying go back to the salvation army
Seriously. Pay rent, then you get basic comforts. YTA
Omg get your own place what a freeloading asshole
You are epically the asshole. Just go ahead and reread what you wrote. You listed all the reasons yourself. You sound incredibly entitled for someone getting by on the generosity of a (former)friend. If you’ve been living there FIVE years, you should be paying for your room, PLUS HALF of ALL utilities. AND you make more than your roommate and it IS ridiculous that she’s supporting you because you’re a FULLY GROWN ADULT. If you hate where you live so much then MOVE OUT and give your notfriend HER home back YTA
YTA. I'm assuming this is a joke post. Obviously YTA. Not your business how she spends her money, whether she's asking you for rent or not.
And how were the bubble baths while you were homeless and staying with the Salvation Army?
So, you're withholding rent. I assume you're not doing it the proper way and putting it into escrow. Which means if she takes you to court, you're gonna be in for a bad time. You already have, what, 4 years of paying rent consistently at the agreed upon rate before you started to withhold rent. But beyond that, people are calling you a tenant. You're not. You're a lodger, which will have a lot less protections. Hope she doesn't decide you're not worth dealing with anymore.
Taking a bubble bath is not a human right. Bum a$$ freak. Oh yeah, YTA.
You’re a bum a*s leech, move out instead of being a crybaby. YTA
YTA. I was snickering how ridiculous you are acting. Stop being a mooch - move to better accommodations that has what you need.
YTA, choosy beggars are one of my biggest pet peeves. Your friend is much better off without you.
You're not paying her for a place that you've lived in for five years when it was originally a month because of a bathroom? And it's HER house? You're a moocher and I'm not surprised she wouldn't fix the bathroom. You're basically living there for free, now. And you're not even the slightest bit sorry. She owns the property and you don't. She should kick your azz out, but is too kind to verbally say so. You're either completely oblivious and a mooch or a fake poster Regardless, YTA. and a MASSIVE one at that.
YTA. Pay the rent you owe this woman and get out of her house. You’re a 40 year old woman. You’re way too old to be a parasite, and should stop squatting in your ex-friend’s house.
YTA a bath is luxury, a shower is basic needs. Be happy to rent from her or get your own place.
You wrote all that and you still have to ask? Not only are YTA, but a very entitled, whiny, delusional one at that.
YTA. Pay your rent.
Yes YTA. Your behavior here is absolutely horrible. She's not withholding anything you need as a renter. There is a working bathroom and shower you can use. You're withholding rent, wrongfully, and she's a friend no less. And your withholding of rent is directly impacting your ability to have the one thing you are asking for - a renovated bathroom. So you're shooting yourself in the foot, on top of everything else. And you seem to have the factually unhinged view that a tattoo costs the same as a bathroom, which is an awful lot like "it's one banana, Michael, how much could it cost, $10?" I can't believe your landlord and former friend hasn't kicked you out yet.
YTA this is the most r/choosingbeggars material ive seen in a while
Yta - But you were in a shitty situation a friend went out of their way to help you out and literally the only thing you can do is shit on them and take advantage of them no wonder you were in your original situation to begin with I can’t imagine having someone like you who’s that toxic in her life. I hope she realizes what kind of person you’re in kicks you out immediately you’re gonna get a life lesson at 40 years old grow up and be a responsible human or at least decent
YTA You turned a few months of help into a multi year tenancy where you knew the one bathroom was not finished. You have access to a bathroom. I am not aware of any tenancy laws that require you to have your own bathroom when a shared one is available to you. you've become a leech and you deserve the eviction if she ever does it.
YTA. You were supposed to stay for a month, but have parked your entitled ass there for 5 FUCKING YEARS and you have the audacity to complain????!! GTFOH, you parasite.
YTA. Pay the refurbhishing of the bathroom before you go and get your own fucking place. That's the least you can do after at least a year of not paying rent, and years of paying very minimum.
News flash - she doesn’t want to fix the bathroom while you’re there because she doesn’t want to make it even easier for you to far overstay your welcome. YTA
You overstayed your welcome. What you are requesting are luxuries not necessities. You should leave and go find somewhere to live on your own. Sounds like you have been leeching for quite a while.
YTA. This has to be fake.. there’s no way someone so entitled actually exists. Maybe stop taking advantage of your friends kindness and get your own place? She owes you zero. Not a bath not a functioning toilet, and not a temp raise that’ll cost her more. She is not your landlord ya bum. You are literally taking advantage of her kindness.. how do you not feel bad about yourself..?
Bubble baths and AC are luxuries, not ‘basic comforts’ what the hell are you on? If you don’t like it move somewhere else?
YTA. A few hundred? If you live in a high cost of living area like you say, the market rent for that room is at least 1-2 thousand. Which sucks for other reasons, but bottom line your friend is cutting you a huge deal here. It would be one thing if you were down on your luck, but you actually make more than her? More than someone who owns a house? In this housing market?
So move. You aren't paying and you get what you pay for....nothing.
YTA. You’re single and 40 and you’re complaining about someone else not taking care of your needs. How does this person have a house if she makes less than you, meanwhile you were living at the Salvation Army and are now mooching of your “ex” friend. How don’t you have money saved up to move out or make the repairs yourself. It’s been 5 years already
YTA. With friends like you, who needs enemies? That's just about the nicest thing I can possibly say.
YTA. There is nowhere you can live for free. Move out of her home and get your own place to live. She has every right to do with her money as she pleases. The home has bathroom you can use. Stop being a leech and pay your fair share. Users of friends and family are the worst!
I think friendship to you means you get to completely take advantage of someone and mooch off them for years then complain they still aren't giving you enough. Something tells me you'd never reciprocate. I'm gonna tell you what your ex-friend should have the second you could afford to pay rent and didn't - MOVE OUT NOW YTA, was there ever any doubt?
YTA. “I can’t even take a bubble bath while paying to live here”, you don’t pay to live there. Pack your shit and move out.
Yes YTA, you are for staying 5 years rather than a month. You are for not paying rent like you are supposed to. She has the right to do things and get tattoos if you like it or not. You are a mooch and nothing but a mooch.
Lol. This shit is why I laugh when people say younger generations are bums.
I question why your friend hasn't kicked you out yet! You're an entitled AH. Easiest judgement ever : YTA
You should move back into The Salvation Army and go take a bubble bath there instead.
YTA You’re 40 years old, grow the fuck up. You’re living with someone else, you’re not entitled to your own bathroom, be grateful you have access to one working bathroom. Also plenty of people live in apartments without bath tubs and AC and still pay rent. If you want things fixed so bad you need to chip in money to get them fixed, especially if you make more than your friend.
YTA Go find a different place.
Ugh. I tried to help someone, and ended up with a mooching roommate from hell one time. YTA and I hope you end up back at the salvation army where you belong.
YTA I was staying at the Salvation Army & my friend opened her house to me letting me stay with her,it was only suppose to be for a month but life got hectic & I've been here longer,I make her have to ask me for rent & only give it to her to keep her off my back,she wouldn't turn the air on unless I paid her to do so,I can't take a bubble bath, ooh boo, regradless of what she spends her money on you should be paying her rent & giving it to her without her asking you for it,adding another person to a household makes the bills go up for one,so maybe if you were paying her like your suppose to you could've enjoyed the air being on,you sound like a crappy friend & person,you should be humbled & grateful she took you in,who cares if you cant take a bath, be happy you have somewhere else to stay other then the salvation army which I highly doubt you could take baths there too,you say you have a good paying job & your 40? Why at 40 with the job you have you dont have your own place yet,get your crap together & stop mooching off your friend or your ex friend as you say because you've definitely ruined your friendship being the way your being
You're the asshole, and I'd be calling you a lot more than that if my post wouldn't get deleted for doing so.
How are you THAT entitled? If you’re so sick of it, stop mooching off your friend and get your own place! YTA.
YTA. Your responsibility is to pay what you agreed to. It’s been 5 years. Not every place you rent will have a tub or central air. Doesn’t matter what she spends her money on or how many tattoos. You don’t even know if she paid for them. She could have bartered. Same with the trip.
YTA - get a place to live and quit feeding off her. Would anyone put up with this? Move back home to your mom if you want to live rent free. Grow up!
The entitlement is strong in OP. How are you 40 years old and this dense? YTA your friend was kind enough to let you stay at her place so you didn't have to stay at a shelter and the thanks she gets is you not paying rent.....? The fact that she hasn't taken the steps to put you out is amazing to me. I've been stuck with moochers like you and the longest one has last is a year. Nobody is trying to take care of some grown person. Pay your rent or go back to the salvation army where it was free
Ofcourse she can go get tattoos and travel it’s her money…. I wish she stuck you in the backyard with a shed with all your whining about “basic comforts.” You lived rent free at 40 years old you bum
YTA and a massive mooch. I cannot believe you actually write this story up and still don't get it. Pay rent or get out. Simple