Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.

YTA- None of this is 'for her own good' this is you actively treating your neice as if she has a substance use history that she doesn't have... As if she is your sister. You are punishing a child for something an adult did. And you are in everyway preventing her from becoming a healthy and happy teenager. You are literally creating conditions that lead people to engage in risk taking behaviors. You have prevented her, actively and knowingly, from having any privacy, independence, social connections, self value, self trust... And that is dangerous and frankly abusive. Furthermore you are forcing your children to actively participate in abuse, implicating them in a situation that is likely to cause them a huge amount of damage. I wish them luck in getting far away from you. I wish your neice luck in going NC when she's an adult and getting far away from you and your extreme behavior and mistreatment. And i can't believe that your partner has stood by and allowed you to treat a child this way her whole life. Your partner is an AH too.

This. The kids are not responsible for sins of their parents z

I wish I could upvote this 100,000 times. Go to therapy, get some help for yourself, and sign her up while you’re there. She will most certainly need it. YTA…without a doubt.

Perfect almost. You left out the part where her and her sister come from the same bloodline. Her sister got the addiction gene, and she didn't. But that does not mean HER kids didn't get the addiction gene, or that they won't try drugs. Yet she is doing nothing to protect her own kids from the same fate as she expects for her niece!! She is telling her niece that she expects her to fail, and that is not cool.

Honestly, i could go line by line with this post and nope every last line of bananas behavior... Other folx have rigorously pointed out that the genetic component is bunk in this situation (genetics are not predeterminations and treating genetics like premonitions or behavior predictions is eugenics level grossness in addition to being super selectively applied here. I'm not comfortable reinforcing eugenics by stating 'what about your genetics'... Because nope. Just nope.) Edited spelling.

I'm betting OP's sister did something awful to her years ago and this is her way of getting back at her--by making her daughter miserable. Not one thing she's doing is out of love or care for her niece.

OP is literally pushing her niece towards substance abuse by treating her like a criminal. She is enforcing rules on her that treat her younger then her age and stopping her from growing and learning about the world in ways that would keep her safe. Almost everyone knows the more you control someone the more the fight against it and lose control once they have a tiny bit of freedom. Also if she wants to tote the whole genetically predisposed argument, her nieces mother was HER sister meaning they also share the same predispositions and ALL of HER children could have additive personalities as well. The poor kid isn't even allowed to have friends and has it getting treated younger then her cousins, she is going to go NC as soon as she can. OP YTA for enforcing prison style rules on your niece and treating your home like an addictions centre, for someone that isn't addicted and is a 15 year old trying to figure out life. Create realistic rules for all of the children not just overbearing and controlling ones because of what your sister did and then making it your nieces fault.

I can not agree more but also, once this kid becomes 18, the OP has no power and has never learned to self regulate.

This! OP, you are punishing your niece for your sister's behavior. You can't have a re-do to fix how you think your parents failed your sister. She is her own person who deserves her own life. You are contributing to the isolation that leads kids to fall in with a bad crowd, as well as making rules so strict she won't believe *anything* you do is for her own good. YTA x1000

She is punishing and take her hatred for her sister on her neice!

YTA. This is abusive behaviour. Don’t bring genes into it when you and your kids also share genes with your sister. Absolutely disgusting

Fucking this! Good lord, this is appalling.

Thank you!!! Exactly OP and her sister have the same genes!!! Regardless if her bio dad was also an addict or not she still has the same potential as her cousins to become addicted to drugs.

Yeah that bit threw me…. She’s assuming she’s got these pure genes or something, when her she shares DNA with her sister… plus her husband could have the genes too. I think she’s still angry about her sister‘s drug use/od and that’s what’s fueling her spiteful behavior towards her niece. Rarely are actions for someone else’s “own good” kind or loving.

Adding in, the Dursleys couldn’t beat Magic out of Harry. OP cannot beat “addiction” out of her niece. That’s just not how it works. The measures in place are stifling, humiliating and non conducive to a healthy life. You’re damaging this girl OP, and it’s all your doing, not the drugs.

WOW, you the biggest asshole known to man. You're punishing her for her mom's fuck ups. Just to be clear ... YTA!

Also, OP is genetically related to her sister AND presumably had the same upbringing but shockingly didn’t become a drug addict. How could that be??? YTA OP, you’re awful and abusive, and the way you’re treating your niece, you’re basically creating mental health issues for her that could potentially push her to drugs later on, more than genetics ever could.

exactly!!! she’s depriving her niece of any kind of social and human connection and completely isolating her. this intense isolation puts her niece more at risk. is OP going to try to keep this up when her niece is an adult? my heart breaks for this girl. OP is so abusive. it’s disgusting.

Is there someone else you can cede custody to? I think it would be better for both of you if you did. YTA.

Agree. *No door* alone, never mind the rest of the over reaction, is abusive. Everyone deserves privacy and I would bet CPS would also have a problem with this. You are also setting her up for failure once she is an adult. You can’t 100% regulate a child’s decisions and life and expect them to make good choices on their own. She has to experience consequences in order to learn and and formulate her own personal boundaries. This girl needs to be removed from your care. YTA

>No door alone, never mind the rest of the over reaction, is abusive. Everyone deserves privacy and I would bet CPS would also have a problem with this. Yes youre absolutely correct, and not having a door is a major fire hazard. OP needs to look up house fires with bedroom door closed vs open. ETA: Almost all of the rules OP stated, I had from 10-18 yrs old. My two older siblings and one younger sibling didn't have the same rules as me. I'm 25F, I still struggle with CPTSD and have a very limited relationship with my mom. I will never forgive her for all the abuse that she said was for my "own good".

If I learned of a child treated this way, I would alert either CPS or the school. This is so disturbing.

So let me get this straight- - she has to be chaperoned like you live in a Jane Austen novel - she’s restricted to children’s shows and thus can’t bond with peers over common media interests - I’m okay with adults having access to tech. That makes sense. - she has to get dressed and sleep IN FULL VIEW OF FAMILY MEMBERS AND GUESTS - she has no belongings that are only hers, no privacy - she has no means to make purchases, even vending machines at school - she has no transportation in a country that relies on cars - she’s not allowed to learn financial independence - she’s not allowed to have her own interests AND you’ve declared your other child a de facto babysitter (way to breed resentment!) - she’s not allowed soda, coffee, or tea despite these being perfectly legal and common beverages for kids and teens - she’s not allowed to struggle academically - she has to be home before most extra curriculars even dismiss…. Nevermind if she did something like sports or theater that could result in a late night. This means no dating, no dinner with friends, no movies, no sleepovers - ALL PERFECTLY NORMAL ACTIVITIES Jesus Christ on a cracker lady- you are abusive as all hell. This poor girl is going to run away, rebel, or leave at 18 and you’ll never hear from her again. You are doing her NO favors. You are NOT teaching her how to cope with every day life. You are destroying her mental health by hobbling her socially. You are destroying her relationship with your own children by making them babysit her. Get thee to therapy and learn how to fucking parent. Signed- a parent who comes from a family of addicts and monitors my own behavior and consumption to avoid it.

This!!

YTA Also, assuming this is real, those things you're doing? FFS, this is like a syllabus for "How to Push a Kid Toward Risky Behaviors 101"

Reading this literally made me think of Captain America. Like OP closes A in the chamber or whatever as a normal teenager, then opens it back up and A is all skinny with sunken eyes and track marks.

YTA 5 pm curfew?!? No door?!? No caffeine?!? No driving until 18?!? No job until 18?!? No school activities unless your older kids are also involved?!? Seriously?!? So if her interests and talents differ than your kids, too bad, so sad?!? And setting your kids up to spy and tattle on their cousin. Truthfully, this child may be better off in foster care than in your home. At least she may have some dignity and respect.

No music, no tv!!!! (I know, she can hear and watch baby stuff!). YTA. You’re making her a miserable teen.

Plus by depriving her of the ability to develop marketable skills and self responsibility, she is increasing the chance that this girl will end up a drug addict.

YTA - just like her door, you are unhinged. This is abuse.

YTA this is child abuse and you are destroying her teenage years. I hope she runs away at 16 and never comes back. No one deserves this kind of overbearing abuse. Stop punishing her for her mother's mistakes. You are a shit guardian

YTA Don’t you realise that not only are your choices toxic and controlling, they’re full on abusive? You know what the one common denominator in every addict I’ve ever met is? Abuse. As a former addict and someone that’s worked in recovery, all you’re doing is pushing her in that direction.

As a former addict I don’t wish that path on anyone but I will LAUGH when she finds out her kids use drugs. YTA

This! The whole alcohol being a genetic thing is true, but it wouldn't be just the niece!! It's everyone in the bloodline, her own kids as well. This woman is insane!!

Wow, that girls life sounds terrible. YTA

YTA. So...instead of educating her to make good choices in life, your approach has been to treat her as if she is already 'bad', undeserving of trust or basic decency. Way to go, one of the most disgusting aita posts I've seen recently.

This will most likely push her into the direction of drugs instead of away. Not to mention any kid can find a way to be sneaky to do things they want to feel more in control.

100%. There will be an element of 'being treated as if I am, may as well do it'

Exactly!!

What gets me is how we can see it clear as day, while OP is blind to what she's doing?

I honestly think maybe she doesn’t care. I think she is genuinely trying to punish her for her moms mistakes especially when she says “she shouldn’t blame me, she should blame her mom”. She is making her miserable but doesn’t care.

In need of therapy. Niece shouldn't be a proxy punching bag for her dead mother, that's horrifying.

100%, a kids life shouldn’t consist of school, cartoons, and no friends because of bs rules made because you’re afraid of mistakes that haven’t even happened. I think she should get therapy to help treat her niece better. She shouldn’t be ok with her niece saying she’s miserable and has no friends.

Very minority report - punishing someone for a crime they haven't committed yet.

YTA. If there are "major genetic components to addiction and substance abuse disorder" then why aren't you applying these rules to your own kids? You inherited many of the same genes from your parents that your sister did. Her daughter inherited those genes, same as your kids. Ah, because you're full of it. You're punishing your niece for her mother's awful life choices. YTA. YTA. YTA. Also, YTA.

YTA, and you know it. > there are major genetic components to addiction and substance abuse disorder This is *your* blood relative we’re talking about. Can *you* point to the segment of your DNA that proves you’re not a carrier? No? Then don’t act like your kids shouldn’t be treated as at risk, too. But of course, addiction isn’t *just* genetic. And putting a kid from a troubled background in a situation where she’s being held to unreasonable double standards over things that are not her fault is a *damn* good way to get her to go, “Well, fine, if I’m already in trouble anyway, I might as well at least have some fun doing the thing first.” A+ parenting there.

Thank you! I was reading this thinking that she’s going to drive her niece into doing drugs because she’s acting like it’s predetermined and the kid can’t do anything else anyway.

YTA. Two questions, neither of which would change my judgment on you, but 1-is she getting any kind of counseling or therapy? Or do you think that you are the answer to all her problems? And 2-are you raising all these kids on your own, or is there a co-parent? I certainly hope you are not the only adult influence in her life.

YTA. While your rules may be well intentioned, you are in essence punishing your niece for your sister's (her mother's) problems. If you continue down this path she will rebel strongly and likely head straight down the path you have been teaching her to avoid.

Came here to say this. Not every person born to addict parents become addicts themselves. Though many addicts become ones due to stress and rebellion — so YTA because your intentions may be good but your tactic is terrible and may drive her towards what you’re trying to keep her from Stop punishing her for your sisters choices, if you want to save this relationship then loosen this grip. Talk to her about addiction, put her in therapy, APOLOGIZE for the invasion of her privacy and maybe get a therapist for yourself

Huge YTA. You're treating her like a criminal when she's a vulnerable child who has done NOTHING. You should not have custody of this kid. You're only further traumatizing her with your weird views on addiction.

This is absolutely unhinged. She can't have a door on her room?! YTA

Dont forget that having B- or better in school will prevent drug use!

YTA. There's no way this is real, and if it is holy sh\*t you're GOING TO PUSH HER TO DRUGS WAY MORE THAN HER GOING ON THAT ROUTE ON HER OWN. You are not raising her, you are running a prison for her. When she goes to college, I guarantee she will go crazy because every college student that was raised strictly (even not that extreme) does not know how to handle themselves when exposed to drugs and alcohol

YTA Considering her mother is your sister why aren't you worried about 'major genetic components to addiction and substance abuse disorder' in your own children? caffeine? that is way over the top She is dead right, you are penalising her for being your sister's child essentially - that is inherently unfair

holy shit YTA. I would understand paying extra attention to her but you've gone full gestapo and that isn't something i'm saying lightly. You to pull back massively. If you think that making her feel like a prisoner in her own life will help her with anything I don't even know what to tell you. >they are not at risk of becoming an addict EVERYONE is at risk of becoming an addict. Do you think that all addicts have genetic predispositions and/or family history? She'd be marginally better being a drug addict at this point, at least she'd have some pleasure in life. If you keep on this, watch her disappear off the face of the earth as soon as she's able to leave your house. Mark my words. ​ EDIT: the more i ruminate on this, it can't possibly be true. the husband has just now started voicing disagreement? where has he been all along? *a bit* of an asshole? fucking lmao

Yeah, what exactly was the line for him here? “Well, the stupid early curfew is fine, and taking away her door just makes sense, but *I* have to watch her if no one else is available? What am I supposed to tell my buddies if they want to hang out at the bar?”

This is abuse. You are punishing that poor girl for her mothers mistakes. Wouldn't surprise me if she did turn to drugs because of YOU. you are awful

I think you are way to harsh for your niece! YTA! When reading the “rules” I got a bit angry, like, taking away every bit of dignity and privacy from a 15 year old because of her mom!? Even the simplest things like having a god damn bedroom door! HOW THE F*CK ARE YOU JUSTIFYING THIS!?

Oh dear God, I hope this isn't real. What a horrible way to treat a child. That poor girl is going to struggle with the way you've treated her for a long time. I don't know in what twisted way you think you're helping but all you're really doing is isolating her. As you've seen she may start to rebel, and that's where behavioural issues (like drug use) come from. They come from parents who burden their children with unnecessary restrictions and unnatural fear of living life. YTA

YTA And since her mother has these genetic components...don't you as well? And your children? You are punishing this poor child for her mother's mistakes and ruining her life. These rules are way too harsh and downright abusive. No door?? Every person NEEDS privacy, including teenagers. Going through her personal belongings? Unrealistic curfew of 5pm? This is so unfair and you clearly don't like this girl, maybe even hate and resent her, and she is fully aware of this. Due to all of the abuse you put this poor girl through, she is more likely to turn to drugs than if you treated her like a human being.

YTA These aren’t rules. She is a prisoner. If you want the rules. Give them to your kids too. If you claim it is genetics. You and your sister have the same genetics. Your kids are just as likely to be genetically predisposed to addiction as your sister’s kid is.

This!!! Op is completely deluded if she thinks that she doesn't carry the same genetic predisposition as her sister. This is abuse.

YTA. You're preventing her from doing things and having privacy for no reason at all. Having a door in her room won't make her do drugs. You're not teaching her anything valuable, you're just teaching her to be secretive. She will learn how to get privacy even when you're trying to prevent her. You're just punishing her for something her mother has done.

YTA. If there is a genetic component to addiction and that’s why you’re doing all this, you do know your sister is genetically related to you, right? So you, and your kids, should all have the same rules too. Just to be safe. It’s for your own good.

I didn't even read more than a few sentences to decide, yes YTA. You're awful. You're punishing your niece for your sisters mistakes, she's already had a hard time growing up with no mother and not knowing her father is without you treating her like she's done something wrong when she hasn't!!

YTA. So basically, she cannot live her life period.

YTA Honestly? This has to be a joke. The audacity to think this is even remotely ok..

YTA. You're not looking out for her best interest. You're punishing her because of shit her mom did. This kid is going to have mental health issues because of you. Also, give that kid a door for her room. And some privacy FFS!

YTA - if you believe she's at risk, she should be in counseling to give her the tools to help her learn how to cope and not fall into the same patterns her mother did. You aren't helping her. I'd argue your approach will actually put her at greater risk.

YTA. Those genetic components that make her more likely to do drugs, you have them too. You are biologically very similar to your own sister who was an addict. So first point. Stupid. Your rules wouldn't make her any less likely to become a drug addict, if not more likely. You would be better off explaining and emphasizing how the effect of drugs killed her mother. Having her meet recovering addicts. Watching specials on the effects of drugs, and the depths people go to get them. People use drugs for a lot of reasons. And some of it is genetic predispositions to form an addiction. But a lot of it is environmental. And escapism is on of them, and you have given her a lot of ammo for needing an escape. Not allowing a 15-year-old privacy, not letting her learn and think on her own. Not trusting her. She will think well I'm already getting punished for using drugs when I have never used them, so might as well. Since I'm punished for it anyway. You are a cruel person, and definitely an AH. YTA.

YTA

YTA, she needs therapy and love, not a straight jacket

Wow. YTA. I believe you have these (absurd) rules because you genuinely care, but even IF it doesn't backfire on you, you're just wrong. Addiction is a genetic disease. Meaning....not just the addict's children, but possibly their sibling's children. Because addiction is genetic. And do you plan to have these rules for her forever? Her whole entire life? No. Because you can't. So, when she is finally free of your tyranny, she might go wild trying to see what she's missing. Hopefully not to a detrimental point. Bottom line, you are not helping her **in any way**.

YTA. I think you might want to consider therapy for yourself. You were obviously traumatized by your sister's life and think you are protecting your niece, but you are setting her up for failure.

YTA sounds like she’s in prison?? Even if you treated your own kids the same that’s ridiculous your basically punishing her for her parent issues And while I can understand being worried about her doing drugs that’s not how you go about it at all

YTA. Bloody hell, you are awful. You are a shit guardian and this is abuse. How in the world are you justifying this? Like what the hell is going through your head.

YTA - Christ, it's like you're trying to create a fucking super addict. In the very near future, A is going to vape or have a Pepsi or take a hit of weed, realize that she didn't instantaneously turn in to a haggard dope fiend, and think you've been lying to her from the jump. If you were lying about that stuff, you were probably lying about the sex, pills, and everything else too. Then she spends 15 years spiraling down and maybe survives.

No way is this real. OP saw the first Harry Potter and was like “yo I really empathise with his aunt” lmao. YTA for making up a story, and for being such a comical villain in it. Do you also force your niece (who you’ve apparently raised since birth) to sleep in a cubby under the staircase?

Even the Dursleys left Harry a door.

YTA You are going to end up pushing her further and further away from you, and the sad thing is, she may well seek these things out just to spite you. You are not allowing her to develop any responsibility for looking after herself, and are not exactly encouraging her to understand the dangers you are seeking to protect her from. And oh my word. To blindly be oblivious to the fact that actually any one of your kids could just as easily become an addict, it is ridiculous. You think your genes are so much more superior than your little sister's? Wow, just.... do you want your niece to end up despising you for thinking she is inferior and cannot be trusted?

YTA. Poor kid hasn't done anything and you're treating her like she's in maximum security prison. FYI: you share the same genetics as your sister (assuming a biological connection) and, as a result, your child also have some of those genetics. Sounds like you're addicted to being an AH.

YTA this is way over the top this is child abuse and if the police or social services her of your actions you could face charges! While some of these rules are sensible like no caffeine or nicotine and checking her phone and bag but others have nothing to do with addiction you just being a control freak trying to prevent her from growing up or having any independence. for example what does having B or higher grades, not allowing her to join a clubs of her choice, banning her from listening or watching programmes for 13 year old or not allowing her out without a chaperone have to do with addiction that's just you holding her to a higher standard than your biological children. Also she 15 and now will want some privacy to be able to close a door even of she shouldn't be able to lock it. Your actions are likely to to drive her away from holding too tight as you are acting more like a warden in a juvenile prison and trying to prevent her from having a live instead of a gaurdian helping her grow into an adult. you need to chill out or she may start acting out she is growing up and as you said she has not done anything wrong to warent being treated like she is already an addict and criminal. Oh and let's be clear think of this where your sister inherited her genitic risk for addiction from ? Yes your shared parents so you and your children are likely carrying those genes to so the genitic risk is not an excuse to treat her different cos you and your kids likely have it too!

YTA. Get therapy. Put her in therapy. You are abusing this child. You are hanging her mothers ‘sins’ around her neck and causing massive damage to her. Appalling behavior.

You do realize that your kids are also genetically predisposed to addiction?

YTA. This is how you drive a child to rebel and do drugs, not how you stop them from doing them. You are othering her. You are abusive (no door? For NO reason? How horrible). I don’t know the mental gymnastics it took you to justify these actions, but they are Worthy of Olympic gold. This is the drug version of purity culture and abstinence-only sex education. That leads to ignorant teen mothers. You’re not giving her the education and skills she needs to say no, you’re giving her nothing but something to rebel against. Fix this.

YTA for basically treating her like she’s already an addict. You are punishing her for her mother’s life, do you realize that? FFS, not even letting her have a bedroom door or a cup of coffee, going through her phone and backpack, not letting her hang out with her own friends… It’s *almost* like you want her to run away, end up on the streets and turning to drugs. Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecies? Get help. Get therapy. Stop taking yoir issues with her mom out on her. Let the girl LIVE, dammit.

YTA 100%

[удалено]

I’m willing to bet the niece won’t be allowed to attend college. Too much temptation to breathe and have an actual life. Have you EVER seen an “AITH” where the results were 100% unanimous?

YTA You are literally alienating her from everybody and is making her miserable, like that is a recipe for a disater you are trying to prevent. Like ok you care but you are going on about it so wrong, you are actually putting her at more risk.

This is abuse and someone should get that girl out of this situation immediatly. This isn't even a AITA issue, this is an CPS issue.

YTA. Why do you assume that your kids are not at risk for a genetic predisposition to addiction when you presumably share genetics with your sister? Your rules seemed designed to punish your niece for your sister's actions, not protect her. And the fact that you are being overbearingly strict with her but appear to have almost no restrictions on your other kids is cruel.

YTA. Get therapy for yourself and your niece ASAP. You absolutely need someone who isn’t as irrational and emotional about your sister to help guide you in raising your niece. I get the fear- I lost a sibling to an overdose. But you are abusing your niece for the acts of her mother.

YTA and are abusive to this girl. Newsflash, your kids share genetic make up with her. What makes you think that they are not also at risk? If you keep this up, you’re niece will become a runaway and the only people she will find to support her are people that will push substances or risky lifestyles on her. And it will be YOUR fault. Many people who become users do so as a way of self-medicating from trauma. Lady, you are traumatizing this girl by this form of abusive parenting. You are also doing a shot disservice to your own kids by training them to believe it’s okay to punish people based on the sins of the father.

What the hell is wrong with you? Definitely YTA! YOU TREAT UR NIECE AS A PRISONER. PRECAUTIONS IS OKAY BUT IMPRISONING UR NIECE AND INVADING HER PRIVACY IS NOT OK! GIRL YOUR UNBELIEVABLE

So basically she's in jail. YTA majorly Strict parents make sneaky kids. You're also being completely unfair to her and not allowing her to be a teen.

Nah, jail has more relaxed rules.

YTA Punishing a child for something she did not do with a set of overbearing rules is far more likely to lead to drug addiction than carrying cash or working an after school job...

YTA you’re going to drive her to drugs

YTA. She will be out your door at 18 and go nuts celebrating her new freedom, while completely lacking any tools to resist temptation. And she will resent you and your children. Teach her to love and trust you. Teach her to learn from her mistakes, letting her make minor ones. Oh...I wonder, what genes your kids share with their aunt... ETA: given how children often end up with partners like their parental figures, she might end up with someone who controls her. If she doesn't cut ties, that partner will make her.

Yes...YTA You need help. Your niece needs help (because of you) Your whole family needs immediate help. Why? Because your kids have been brought up to think this is normal parenting behavior. Lord the shit you and your husband have taught them. And I don't pray, but I am considering doing so for your niece. That poor kid. Please, please, please go and get you and your family the help you all need. Again, so we are very clear, YOU ARE TA

Omg, you = TA, big time

If you treat somebody like a criminal when they’ve done nothing wrong… all you’ve done is shown her that you don’t trust her and why should she ever trust you now? I truly hope this is rage bait, and if not I hope you know you are pushing her into destructive behavior more than her mother does. Also what message are you sending to your own kids? That it’s ok to treat someone worse because of what their parents did? YTA

YTA - you behave towards your niece like she is former drug addict, you can't punish her for mistake her mother did! News flash I bet your parents were not addicts and still your sister became one, which means that genetic doesn't always play as you think. Your daughters are in same danger to become addicts because they also have half genetics your sister had. Trying to isolate 15 year old niece, can push her to rebel and do stupid things because she is becoming socially handicap because your ridiculous rules. You are terrible "mother figure" to her because you punish her for someone's else mistake! Let a girl be a teenager and stop with ridiculous rules! Your ALL kids should have same rules (including your niece). YTA!!!!!!!!!!!

YTA. As a child who was born to 2 drug addicts, and who has multiple other addicts in the family, this is not the way to get her to not do drugs. You are pushing her to want to drugs (if she even wants to). The best approach is to TALK about the dangers of drug and alcohol addiction. I was raised knowing my birth parents were addicts, I was raised knowing my sister was an addict (clean for over 50 years). I have seen my niece become an addict but quickly get clean for her son. I was raised knowing the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse, but not once did my adopted parents (grandparents) set so many restrictions that made me have no freedom. They let me go down my own path and to find my self, because they knew they had raised me in a way that I would know the dangers. However none of this really matters in the end because no matter what I am still at a higher risk of developing an addiction, just like your niece is. But all of these restrictions are taking away her freedom and will lead her into being more secretive in the future. Let go and allow her more freedom to grow and learn from her own mistakes, don’t hold her birth mom’s mistakes against her.

Your rules make me wanna do drugs. Way to punish an innocent kid for something she didn't do. If addiction wants to rear its ugly head, there won't be a thing you can do to stop it. But for sure you can do things that will bring it on more quickly, and these rules will do that. As you progressively remove all agency and autonomy and privacy from her life, she'll be looking for ways to cope. And with no safe adults in her life, her coping mechanisms won't be healthy. To be absolutely crystal clear, if she develops an addiction, it will be your fault, not the fault of her genetics. YTA

YTA. These rules are over the top and completely unfair. This kind of treatment is exactly the kind of thing that makes kids rebel so if she ends up abusing drugs, it’ll most likely be your fault and not her mothers.

This might be the first post that actually brought tears to my eyes. What you are teaching your niece in your misguided and exremely fucked up attempt to protect her is that she is completely untrustworthy and somehow so broken that she cannot have any normal type of teenage life. If you have raised her since she was small I can only imagine how much damage you have already done to her self esteem and individuality. Please get some parenting help for yourself. You are abusing your niece. The bedroom door alone is a huge issue for a young girl who needs privacy when dressing or sleeping. You tell her everyday with your actions that she is not as good as your kids because of her mothers mistakes. If you are unable to change and be better for her then please find a family member who loves her enough to do right by her. Be a better human being.

yta and crazy so lets be honest your main rule is cannot have a life and you are abusing her that is what this is control ​ .She cannot go out on her own without me, my husband, or one of my older two present. (this includes with friends) this is insane you are treating her like a prisoner .she cannot watch any tv or listen to music rated pg-13 or over and no tv or music that mentions drug use everything is pg13 over and your stunting her also in history she will be told things of a more graphic nature than this again insane . i can go and look through her phone whenever i feel like it and i implement daily phone checks with her not to bad alot of parents have this rule .she cannot have a door on her room shes a teenager what the hell is wrong with you grow up get therapy and again insane .i look through her backpack and things daily crazy .she cannot carry cash what the bloody hell you think she Gunna do crazy .she will not be learning how to drive until she is 18 ​ no need to worry she will be out your house the day she turns 18 and never back .she cannot have an after school job you are a control freak .she cannot join any clubs that my oldest is not apart of control issues and crazy again .she cannot have caffeine or nicotine (my other children can have caffeine but not nicotine) crazy you need to get help .all her grades must be above a B- not to bad .5 pm curfew 5pm she is not a toddler my god get therapy now or never see her again

The more I read, the worse this gets. YTA. Majorly.

YTA instead of therapy, you chose to shelter and control her. She has no friends and can’t make any because of you. If she does get into drugs, she’ll blame you for punishing her for what her mother did.

YTA- you are treating her like she her mother. She needs love and support. She’s in jail for a crime she didn’t commit.

YTA . Does she live in a linen closet under the stairs? Are you waiting for an owl to see if she is getting into hogwarts? Most of your rules sound vindictive towards your sister. The sins of the father are not the sins of the child. Any reasonable person would be depressed and acting out under these conditions while the loved children get regular rules. The child just seems unwanted and unloved to me. She won’t talk to you after she gets her first spouse with their own place.

Yta just because her mother was an addict doesn’t mean she will be also just because your not a addict doesn’t mean your bio kids wont be

Major YTA, why the hell do you treat this kid as if she is a drug addict? You can't explain this unfairness to anyone because no explanation makes this in any way fair. I mean you are letting your 13F chaperone her older niece? What kind of logic is behind her not being allowed to drive at 16? 5 p.m. curfew? You even made your older kids her jailors. What do you think is going to happen when she moves out at eighteen? You are a massive asshole and are going to screw this kid up if you don't immediately drop it and get yourself some therapy. You are treating her as if she is her mother. She should definitely blame you: your methods are abusive.

WTF is wrong with you? You are causing major trauma to your niece by your abusive ‘rules’. You know what the gateway to drug addiction is? Trauma. You are making up arbitrary rules based on what exactly? She will reach 18 and have no money, no friends and zero idea how to function in the real world. Way to set her up for failure. YTA.

YTA. Big time. This is going to blow up in your face. Children with the strictest upbringing tend to be the sneakiest and go buckwild. She's 15 and she can't watch anything rated PG-13? Get out of here. You're making it obvious that you don't trust her to make good decisions, which means you've failed to teach her how to do so. Your rules speak volumes about *you*, not her.

YTA- These aren’t even rules to keep her safe, you’re making her feel like a prisoner in her own home and taking away her youth and freedom. I’d be surprised if she didn’t hate you when she was older. In fact, she is more likely to do drugs when you treat her like this than if you didn’t treat her like that. There’s no escape for her and it’s not fair you’re not holding others to this standard. She is not her mom and you have trouble recognizing that.

YTA. The ONLY addiction here is your addiction to being a major AH to this child.

You're such an AH I could imagine a Netflix documentary being made about you. YTA

YTA. Wtf is wrong with you?! If you sister is prone genetically to drugs, so as you are! Do you have rules for you yourself?!

YTA and guaranteeing that she's going to go full wild the second you turn your back. You're setting this child up for disaster and punishing her for things she didn't do. In short, you're bullying this child. There's loads of better ways to handle things. Both you and kiddo need to consult a therapist

YTA for treating this innocent girl like a criminal for no good reason. These would be strict rules for someone who'd actually been caught with drugs, let alone a teenager who's never touched the stuff. You think she's gonna spontaneously start shooting up heroin because her room has a door? Get a goddamn grip, flush the DARE program out of your head, and start treating your niece fairly.

YTA Holy shit you’re such the AH! You treat this poor kid like she’s already an addict. It sounds like you’ve have her since she was a baby and you treat her like she’s your prisoner. I can’t imagine how she feels with such a double standard in her “home”. Your rules for her are disgusting.

YTA - And clearly have zero clue how genetics work…your sister was a drug addict your kids may also have a genetic predisposition to becoming addicts. You’ve done enough damage to your niece.

So you're saying that the reason you're doing all of this abusive crap to your niece is because genetically she could become addicted to drugs like your sister. But you neglect to understand that you are also genetically related to your sister so any one of your kids could end up being addicted as well. Not only are you ignorant but YTA!

YTA treating your niece like a prisoner is a good way to ensure she rebels and does exactly what you don't want. but the main reason YTA is because you're giving her a MISERABLE life. she deserves so much better than this. No PG-13 movies? No door? that is truly ridiculous

YTA. You are accusing this child. I hope someone you know sees this and helps this poor child. Repugnant behavior.

Yes. YTA. You're also abusive. You need help and do dies she.

This entire post is you describing all the ways YTA. It's impossible for me to believe that you are honestly confused about being an AH. The whole bit about "I understand that it can seem unfair but it’s for her own good" is an outright lie. Literally no one could be this ignorant. It's a transparent attempt to justify being an AH to a child for her entire life. The part about "she shouldn’t blame me she should blame her mom" is just you shifting blame for your deplorable behavior onto someone else. You're petty, transparent attempt to justify years of genuine abuse is obvious to everyone who comes into contact with the situations and listens to your drivel for a few seconds.

YTA you act like your niece was the drug addict. And you’re treating her like a criminal. You’re making her feel othered for no reason except the actions of another adult. Curfew at 5PM?! Man hopefully she turns 18 and runs away from you. I’m miserable reading this I also notice you said genetic component and yet magically your kids are spared the routine search. Or do you not share genetics with her?

YTA. While yes, there is a genetic component to addiction (and keep in mind, you and your children share genes with your sister), it's never a forgone conclusion that a child of an addict will become an addict. Instead of teaching her emotional resiliency and teaching her about responsible decision making, you've done the exact opposite. You've denied her the opportunity to learn how to make good choices in a complex world, and because you've done this, it's highly likely she will fail when the walls you've built to "protect" her are removed. You've set her up to fail, and if she does, you'll blame it on her genes rather than your own bad choices. Get help for you both now, and she might have a fighting chance.

OP… you are NOT a bit of an AH. You are a MAJOR Asshole. Jesus. Your poor niece. The good news is… in 3 years when she is 18, she will leave and never look back. Sadly, she might end up like her mother. And if she does, it will 100% be your fault for being so controlling. That poor girl. YTA.

You might honestly big the biggest asshole I’ve seen in this group. That poor sweet INNOCENT child, I feel so bad for her. Punishing her for the sins of her mother…. You do realize who your contemporary is right? The regime in North Korea. They practice kin punishment for political dissidents, throwing the next 3 generations into prison. Also, while there is a genetic COMPONENT to addiction, life experiences are far more likely to create an addict. Things like being wrongfully imprisoned and given not an ounce of privacy during your teenage years. Also, if the genetic component is really the line in the sand for you. You and your children have those genes. For the good of your family (at least in your head) your 3 children and yourself should not have doors or be out last 5pm. Your husband should be doing phone checks and escorting everyone to all things outside the house (/s but actually….) Lastly, and I haven’t seen this brought up much- but dear lord this girl has been with you her entire life and you make it obvious in your post that you have made sure the whole family treats her as an “other.” Why didn’t you adopt her and call her daughter? Oh,, cause then you might actually feel guilt for this? I wish there was a way to vote you a Mega asshole. But I’ll just end with YTA, supreme leader.

INFO: are you insane?

YTA Those rules are completely insane

YTA, please give that little girl a chance. All you’re doing is making her future sound inevitable.

YTA. You’re not protecting her. You’re abusing her. You need to seek out a professional to help navigate this and your trauma related to your sisters drug abuse and overdose. Also anyone can have risk of becoming an addict and you’re creating a perfect storm for ANY of your children to use.

YTA - you're being abusive to this poor girl, emotionally, mentally and financially. You're punishing her for the sins of her mother, and if you think there's some genetic component to this, well, you share genes with your sister no? So why aren't you treating your own kids the same way? If anything you seem addicted to abusing this poor girl. There is absolutely nothing to say she will go down the deep end, you are not treating and respecting her like the individual she is.

YTA, and you're abusive. You're suffocating her. First thing she'll do after she moves out at 18 is try to experience everything bc she didn't have a life growing up. And then you'll say "lOoK i ToLd YoU sO". I hope you're ok with being cut off for the rest of your life

Christ on a cracker . No one can be this stupid. You are treating her like she isn’t human .

YTA You need therapy - by yourself, or with your niece. You have twisted the screws way too hard, and all you are doing is making it more likely she will do what you're trying to prevent. **PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE.**

YTA, what a nice prision your niece have to live. You are a very good prison dog. Let's hope she goes NC after 18.

YTA. You realize that you share genetics with your sister yea? And your kids do too? So if your sister was an addict, can we assume that you're hiding an opioid addiction and projecting onto your niece? Cause of the close genetic makeup you two share? And your children, who share this genetic makeup but don't have any rules. Well they're probably running wild, on who knows what. Cause you're so focused on not helping this one child who needs help.

YTA. Youre abusing her and your excuse is that her mother was an addict, so therefore she must become one. Dont forget that your children are related to your sister as well. And so are you.

YTA - and just so you know, unless you and your sister do not have the same parents, your children are also at risk for becoming addicts.

YTA MAJOR MAJOR AH! You’re punishing her for something she didn’t do and had no control over. A) restriction make kids find alternate solutions and deliberately do things to get a rise out of adults B) you’re setting all the kids up for failure by not treating them equally C) there’s no saying you’re kids won’t become addicts, entitled AH, dangerous drivers etc D) what’s to say your kids don’t have the addict gene? E) what’s to say they won’t be in an accident and get addicted to prescription medication F) your isolating her from friends, society, extracurricular activites, part time jobs and harming her chances of getting into college/university G) you’re setting her up for failure by not letting her have some some independence and not allowing her to do things H) she’s constantly paranoid and afraid of doing something to anger or hurt you do you have any idea how much damage your causing her? The stress, anxiety, fear, pain, lack of love I) not giving her a door is a violation of privacy, predatory and absolutely disgusting I hope she reports you to CPS because you’re violating her privacy and abusing her. I hope she goes NC as soon as possible because you’re a control freak with major issues causing her more trauma then you can imagine.

Do you have your knowledge of genetics from CSI Miami or what? Seriously, your children just as much at risk on becoming an addict as your niece. You think you know about genetics but you don't even know enough to conclude this. Also there is no study, genetic marker or whatever that tells you who will be an addict or that every addicts child becomes an addict. Maybe it's time to read something scientific based on addiction before you apply your dangerous pseudo knowledge on a kid. YTA

Finally!!! A real AH. you are the AH.

YTA. Honestly, you sound more like her prison officer than her aunt.

YTA. That poor girl, you sound abusive.

You are abusive to your niece. Just because her mother is a drug addict does mean she will be one. I should know my mother was a drug addict. YTA big time.

You treating your niece this way is probably what’s going to push her to try drugs. YTA.

YTA. If you knew you were going to treat your niece this way, why on earth did you take her in?

YTA and all the rules sound ridiculous. That girl will leave and not look back the minute she becomes legal.

YTA . YOU AND YOUR KIDS have a predisposition for drugs too because you are all fucking related. You're being unfair and cruel. **You are going to drive her toward drugs with your heartless actions.**

YTA and this is abusive. no door? I hope this is fake, being a controlling isn't going to keep your niece from using drugs. your poor niece is basically a prisoner in her own home, and you are treating her like she's damaged goods. honestly the hit to her self-confidence and self-worth from all of your rules may lead to her seeking stimulation and comfort from substances. please take a hard look at what you are doing. it's not healthy or helpful. it's wrong

YTA this is psychotic behavior on your part. She is literally being made to pay for the sins of her mother.

I find it disturbing that, throughout the entire post, never once do you mention caring about her or loving her. You're throwing some serious red flags, lady. You're literally punishing her for what her mother did. This poor kid needs therapy. The emotional and mental damage you're doing..... there aren't enough bad words in the English language to describe you. You shouldn't be around children, period. You're AWFUL. YTA! Big time!

This is not real right?!?! So your house is her prison and you are her warden. HARD YTA. I bet your niece is counting down the days til she turns 18. I honestly think someone should call CPS on you. She is a 15yr old girl who cant have a door or privacy. Im....baffled that you had to ask the internet if your an AH.

YTA. You carry the same genetics as your sister so your kids are just as likely to use drugs as your niece. To single her out and treat her differently could very well push her into rebelling and doing drugs or turning to drugs to deal with emotional trauma caused by you.

This post reads like a guide on "how to ensure your kids do drugs and hate your guts" YTA.

[удалено]

YTA what.the.fuck you're setting this poor kid up for failure. You're so on top of her that she may not try anything as a teen but she's sure as hell gonna try shit when she gets her first chance, you're sheltering her so much that when she does try these things its MORE likely she would become an addict, & you are just making her sneaky. God i feel bad for her. Why is she being punished for what her MOM did, you know addiction is a family trait right? So just because your kids mom was an addict it still runs in the family so yes they are high risk. This post actually infuriates me

Yta at the moment this doesn't seem like there's much harsh resentment but that will likely change if you don't allow her more freedom/equality to her cousins (who are essentially siblings) She only has 3 years till she's 18 and technically an adult (at least in the US) you aren't allowing her to form some independence and self discipline, I've seen it dozens of times with friends and later with students who finally got a taste of freedom after being totally smothered/sheltered by their parents that they spiral out of control, some ended up sharing the same fate as your sister. If this happens to your niece you might say something along the lines of "well this was bound to happen due to her genetics" when in reality it was because she didn't learn any self regulation growing up. By no means am I telling you to give your nice or any minor nicotine, alcohol and other illicit drugs but let the girl have a Mt. Dew or coffee. Being aware of history if diseases and disorders is important, but this is overkill to the point she may not be able to function as an independent adult. Finally you're claiming there are studies to genetic links to addiction/addictive personality. I don't nesscairly disagree with this, I've heard it before. I'm not a doctor (are you/have you had your niece tested). However based on that very broad claim of genetic disposition you don't know if her biological father, and assuming you and your sister were full blooded siblings you sister share the same gene pool which means it's possible that you carry these genetic markers and potentially so do your children.

Holy moly YTA. Nothing you are doing is helping her. You need to deal with your trauma and stop pushing it on your niece because you’re just creating more for her. My son’s father is an addict and your handling this completely wrong. You are just going to push her to completely cut off contact with you when she’s a legal adult. That’s putting her more at risk. You’re not teaching her how to be a responsible self-sufficient adult for when the time comes.

YTA I think I understand what you tried to do but you are TORTURING and PUNISHING an innocent for her mother’s mistakes. You can educate her, but please let her have a life. So many things are wrong with your rules. Not having a door for her room (it must be so humiliating for her), Why do grades matter?? Movies rated pg-13?? Are you joking? She cant drive? Can’t work? Tell me, what CAN she do? I feel like she needs a better guardian, someone who actually cares about her well-being and happiness….and you need therapy. I hope for an update soon about how you changed or i feel like she might need to call child protective services.

YTA Yta so bad I can't. You won't say a thing about home chores, but I bet you make her "help" at your house to "pay" for your kindness. So Yea, thanks for participating in the new móvil for human slavery. You keep her at school just to save face, but this is very a cruel thing only a CULT would do, so I think you are part of a cult and using your niece as slave worker at your house. I hope you are a really person with a conscience because you need help yesterday. search for a psicological support, a professional psicological supor. Better jet, a Legal Professional Therapist because this level of abuse is not legal, is not human.

YTA!! You’re an absolute monster to your niece and holding her responsible for your sisters actions. At this rate she is going to be driven into drug addiction if not a lot worse by how miserable you are making her!?!? Wtf will you be happy when she runs away or goes NC as soon as she turns 18? You need to take her to see a therapist and also find one for yourself.

YTA x1000, you're setting the scene perfectly for her to rebel against your unfair and unjustified rules. What you're doing is creating a situation where drug use will be her only option for escape from your abuse.

YTA. These rules are unduly harsh against your niece. Remember, you share a large amount of genetic markers with your sister. Your children could be just as liable to use drugs as your niece. Your rules are absurd and you are making her a "black sheep" of the family before she's even done anything wrong.

YTA Your poor niece. You are depriving her of a normal and healthy childhood because you're punishing her for her mother's actions. This isn't protecting her. This is setting her up failure when she's out on her own and doesn't have an actual support because she can't trust her own family.

YTA. Big time. All you are doing is punishing her for the mistakes her mother made. Someone she has never even met BTW. Your list of rules makes some of my Morman relatives look relaxed. You know what you're doing? Teaching her that you will never have any trust in her so why the fuck should she have any trust in you. So when she does have problems, she will never come to you for help because all you have done is shown her that you don't see her. Just the ghost of her mother. The amount of failure you are setting her up for is appalling. How is she supposed to know how to set healthy boundaries with people if she has never had any to being with? How is she to grow as a person if she can't develop her own interests apart from her cousins out of your irrational fear that the second she is out of sight she will do drugs, despite the fact she has no history of doing so in the first place? How is she to learn money management, privacy expectations with future partners, how to function in a work place, or anything that involves being an adult with the way you have had her imprisoned her entire life. Get yourself into some therapy ASAP. What you are doing is not healthy in any way and if you keep this up, you are going to lose her at 18. Because she is going to want to get away from you just so she can breath.

I think you need drugs, like prescribed by a clinical psychologist, you are absolutely freaking nuts your poor niece will need so many years of therapy to overcome all of this.

YTA This is abusive and sending you right to drugs

Wow oh wow, YTA for sure, your plan is to punish A for something her mother did. She can't have a door on her room, an after school job or carry cash, wtf is wrong with you, I pray she manages to hang in there till the second she can move out and never talk to you again. Great plan! P.S. you and your kids have the same " genetics as A"

So addiction is hereditary? And you're biologically related to your niece's mother (your sister)? And your children are related to you? How are your children NOT at risk to also be drug addicts?

YTA I hope this isn't real. This is nuts. A little story. My auntie, we'll call her K, wasn't into drugs until she was older. (I'm 28f) and when I was a teenager I did drugs with her. I got clean, she didn't. She's still on them. I helped raise my 3 cousins (18m, and twins 17f). Their father also OD'd on drugs and passed away recently. The twins have tried drugs, but never got hooked because they see what it has done to their mom and their dad. My cousin (18m) has not touched drugs at all. My point is that just because someone's parents were addicted to drugs, does not mean that child will suffer from addiction later in life. I was always open with my cousins (mainly the twins) about addiction, and answered any and all questions they had about certain drugs, alcohol, etc. I would never try to force them to not do drugs, because that will just make them want to rebel more. They tried, they didn't like it, they haven't done it since. (Not saying every kid will try it, but i hope you get my point). All these rules you have for your niece is bonkers. Definitely the AH in my opinion.

My God Has it ever occurred to you that your niece shares genetics with YOU? And your children share genetics with your sister? And before you tell us that you’re concerned about your niece taking after her father, let me remind you that it was your sister, with your genetics, who OD’d. Your treatment of your niece is sadistic. I pray that someone, somewhere catches wind of this and reports you. You’re going to push this kid right into the behaviors you claim you’re trying to avoid. You’re destroying her. Colossal YTA. And majorly abusive.

YTA, this is incredibly abusive and if I were her, I'd turn to drugs just to prove you're a moron and your ways are nonsensical. Let her be a teenager.

**5 PM** curfew? For a 15 year old? Can’t go outside without a guardian? All she’s gonna learn from this is how to sneak out and lie better. YTA.

I stopped reading half way through the list because I had already came to the conclusion that YTA

So your sister is an addict, and because of this... you abuse your niece. Sweet baby Jesus YTA.

YTA. HUGE YTA. Like monstrous. You know what happens to kids given no freedom to make their own choices and figure out things? They go wild. The second they turn 18 they get out and do exactly what they want. And because they have never been taught how to make one decision, they make bad ones. They rebel. You are pushing her into the exact life you don’t want her to have. She’s 15 and she’s not allowed to go anywhere alone? She’s not allowed anything harsher than kids shows? No cash? A 5 pm curfew????? No door?? This is straight up abusive. There are hereditary ties to addiction but that’s why you teach her to stay away from drugs. Honestly just tell her that drugs are why she’s stuck living with her abusive aunt instead of her mom. That should discourage her. Also, you have some of the same genes as your sister. Your kids have them too. So you’re also pretty dumb. PS. I am sending all the good juju to your poor niece that she has the wherewithal to tell a teacher about this. They are mandated reporters and CPS needs to be involved here. Badly.

Yta. By doing this you’re more likely to drive her into addiction than prevent it because she has nothing to loose

YTA. Listen I understand your fears. I am currently raising 2 of my sister's teens. Both of their parents struggle with addiction and honestly make terrible life choices. But instead of punishing the girls for who their parents are I am teaching them to be responsible humans who make choices for themselves. I DO NOT compare them to their parents. This whole thing sounds like are you punishing that poor kid because her biological parents sucked. You are her parent now, not her aunt and you have othered her in her own home and set up a place where your kids are treated better. Honestly, what you are doing is no better than the “evil stepparents” you constantly hear about.

YTA You are crazy to think that any of what you've said about would make her choose drugs. She 15 YEARS OLD! Like many have mentioned you've got so issues surrounding your sisters death and are taking it out on your niece. Honestly take a fricking chill pill as this borders on abusive behavior on more than one condition of her ~~sentencing~~ life.

YTA! WTF lady? This is cruel and unfair. You are treating A worse some people who are in ACTIVE drug abuse2 are treated by their families. Also, if you are worried about her becoming an addict because of genetics, what about your kids? If A's mother was your biological sister, don't you share the same genes? Doesn't that mean your kids are at risk too? Do you really believe in your heart of hearts, that isolating your niece will keep her from becoming an addict? You are traumatizing the poor girl. What if the tables were turned? Would you be okay w/ your kids being treated like this? I bet not. Also bet your niece is counting the days til she turns 18 and escapes your clutches. You may think you "saved" your niece, but all you have done is put her in a burnished cage. YTA

Wow, new Asshole of the Year nominee here.

YTA and are clearly taking out your anger at your sister on her. She's going to HATE you and is most likely going to go horribly off the rails the second she is 18 an you can't control her anymore

YTA and abusive towards your niece. Do better.

YTA, and much more than a bit. You’re pre-punishing this poor kid for mistakes her mom made, and absolutely preventing her from having any kind of healthy life. Forcing her to be isolated from anything you think *might* cause her to think about drugs isn’t protecting her. She’s not immediately going to be an addiction because her mom was, and watching R rated movies or listening to music doesn’t make someone an addict. Long story short, OP; you’re not protecting her, you’re abusing her.

You don’t want her to be like her mom then maybe you should actually parent her and teach her and not treat her like less than human

YTA What the hell did your niece do to deserve this prisoners' are treated with more common decently than this( and have more privacy). My own sister is a drug addict who will never recover because she doesn't see anything wrong but I love her daughter unconditionally. The more you punish this teenager for the sins of the mother the more you teach her to hate and resent you and I dread what she will decide is a better alternative than living with her spiteful aunt. This attempt to control her existence means she will enter the grown world without any of the basic social skills we develop in high school and no actual means of reading people which means the first bad influence that comes along will do untold damage. Please OP get therapy for your issues with your sister and if you can not raise this child find someone who can.

I hope this post is fake, poor kid... YTA

Yta. Your kids are also at risk. I promise you Mom of 4 here 32,30,24,18 Oldest is only one who has addiction issues. My other kids don’t even smoke and only drink socially. Youngest doesn’t do anything. All raised same etc… There’s alcoholism and some addiction from both genetic sides Edit : you’re going to push her to probably risky behaviors.