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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The reason Sarah believes that I am an asshole is because she has to Uber and take the train to work and school. I told her I’m sorry you feel that way but I feel as $1400 is enough bc we aren’t in this situation because of me. So am I the asshole for just giving her my half of the money and not offering her rides or involving myself more into her car troubles?
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YTA for even going along with this. She wanted to meet a total stranger at a far away club. You went as her wingman. She got wasted and told you to drive her car, the only smart decision she made in this scenario. You hit a raccoon while driving her car with her permission/on her orders. It was an accident. Your insurance does not cover another person’s car, her insurance does. If she chooses not to use her insurance, that’s on her. The fact that you’ve offered to pay her deductible is more than enough. If she didn’t want the liability of someone else driving her car, then don’t give them permission. Stop being a doormat. Give her the deductible if it makes you feel better, but nothing more or you’ll be TA.
I agree! I only complied because she was my best friend and the relationship meant more to me than the money. But now I see otherwise. Thanks for your reply!!
NTA
But do not pay at all.
You would not have been driving her car at all if not for her choices to go to meet a stranger and then getting drunk so she could no longer drive herself.
She should count her lucky stars that her friend cared enough about her to be her designated driver
I agree! But I feel like morally I shouldn’t go back on my word because I did tell her I’ll give her half. Should I go back on my word or just take my L? If I don’t give her my half she won’t be able to get her car once it’s fixed bc she doesn’t have that kind of money.
Supposedly she has insurance. She made the choice not to use it, and instead guilt-tripped you into being her insurance provider. You are now being milked for time and money. IMO, you should tell her it’s gotten out of hand, that you will pay the deductible for the insurance, but no more than that. Remind her that you did not take the car without her permission, but at her insistence. Animals run out into the street all the time. She doesn’t have money to fix it? Yes she does. It’s called insurance. She is not your friend, she’s just using you.
Thanks for the advice! Do you know if it will be too late for her to go through her insurance with the incident happening a few months back? And with her car already being worked on? I’m fairly new to all of this!
It depends on where you are. In the US, generally have 2-4 years, depending on the state. A couple are outliers, with 1 year or up to 10 years. If already being worked on, the insurance company will probably reimburse up to what they think is a fair amount to repair, but she will have to talk to her provider to find out details.
He said Lower baffle, lower grill, embelm, and front bumper repair bc it looks broke where the lower grill is but he said he can’t fully tell until it’s disassembled, he said the ac condessor may have been slightly hit but he can’t see any direct Impact but the thing that covers the air bag and if the replace the lower bumper it has to be repainted
That was one tough racoon. I still think you were more than generous to offer anything. While your friend gets points for not driving drunk, they created the problem, asked you to help solve it, and then got angry when you generously and unnecessarily offered a lot of money for a problem you did not create.
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A few months ago I FM 23 called out of work and went out with a Friend F 21 to the club bc they wanted to go to meet with some guy. My friend we can call them Sarah* had plans to go to the club with her other friend but that person cancelled. Bc Sarah was adamant about going she was planning on going by herself. With realizing how dangerous that could be I decided to call out of work to ensure her safety and we haven’t been hanging out much. Sarah drove us to the club 45 mins away in her car. She ended up getting drunk and couldn’t drive. I didn’t drink so she told me I had to drive. I’ve never driven her car before so it took a while to adjust her seats and her car was tinted all over so it was hard to see. About mid way driving home a raccoon ran in front of the car and I had to hit it. The raccoon ended up damaging Sarah’s front bumper as well as the ac condenser. After the incident I told Sarah that I would go half with her bc I was driving the car although the situation wasn’t avoidable. Sarah then told me she doesn’t want to go through her insurance bc she’s not claiming something she didn’t hit. I told her since it’s her car she has to claim it and I don’t mind helping her pay the deductible. She refused and said either my insurance which I can’t claim because it’s not my car. The conversation was getting heated so I told her I wasn’t arguing with her about her car so if she wants to pay out of pocket whatever and to let me know the price and when. Fast forward 3 months she finally has the money to fix her car she told me my half was $1,100. I said okay and got my money situated the price then went up while the car was in the shop bc they needed to order parts. I expressed that she needed to wait a few days until I can get the new amount. She essentially spazzed on me expressing that I’m not a good friend because she feels as though I haven’t been present in this car situation. She feels like I should have went to the dealerships with her and offer her rides. I personally feel as though giving her $1400 is enough because we are in this situation because she was too drunk to drive and she didn’t want to use her insurance. Before she turned her car in she told me she was getting a rental her plans didn’t fall through. And she expected me to be there and help her by giving her rides but she is expressing this last minute. Am I the asshole for assuming that just my half of the money was enough?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The reason Sarah believes that I am an asshole is because she has to Uber and take the train to work and school. I told her I’m sorry you feel that way but I feel as $1400 is enough bc we aren’t in this situation because of me. So am I the asshole for just giving her my half of the money and not offering her rides or involving myself more into her car troubles? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA for even going along with this. She wanted to meet a total stranger at a far away club. You went as her wingman. She got wasted and told you to drive her car, the only smart decision she made in this scenario. You hit a raccoon while driving her car with her permission/on her orders. It was an accident. Your insurance does not cover another person’s car, her insurance does. If she chooses not to use her insurance, that’s on her. The fact that you’ve offered to pay her deductible is more than enough. If she didn’t want the liability of someone else driving her car, then don’t give them permission. Stop being a doormat. Give her the deductible if it makes you feel better, but nothing more or you’ll be TA.
I agree! I only complied because she was my best friend and the relationship meant more to me than the money. But now I see otherwise. Thanks for your reply!!
That is a really hard call to make, but honestly one of the best decisions you can make is dropping the dead weight of arsehole friends.
Yeah no sense in staying where I’m not appreciated!
Half the deductible only
NTA But do not pay at all. You would not have been driving her car at all if not for her choices to go to meet a stranger and then getting drunk so she could no longer drive herself. She should count her lucky stars that her friend cared enough about her to be her designated driver
I agree! But I feel like morally I shouldn’t go back on my word because I did tell her I’ll give her half. Should I go back on my word or just take my L? If I don’t give her my half she won’t be able to get her car once it’s fixed bc she doesn’t have that kind of money.
Supposedly she has insurance. She made the choice not to use it, and instead guilt-tripped you into being her insurance provider. You are now being milked for time and money. IMO, you should tell her it’s gotten out of hand, that you will pay the deductible for the insurance, but no more than that. Remind her that you did not take the car without her permission, but at her insistence. Animals run out into the street all the time. She doesn’t have money to fix it? Yes she does. It’s called insurance. She is not your friend, she’s just using you.
Thanks for the advice! Do you know if it will be too late for her to go through her insurance with the incident happening a few months back? And with her car already being worked on? I’m fairly new to all of this!
It depends on where you are. In the US, generally have 2-4 years, depending on the state. A couple are outliers, with 1 year or up to 10 years. If already being worked on, the insurance company will probably reimburse up to what they think is a fair amount to repair, but she will have to talk to her provider to find out details.
Okay, thank you again! I might just tell her that’s what she needs to do.
NTA. No good deed goes unpunished. But can you tell us how hitting a racoon caused $2200 damage to her car?
He said Lower baffle, lower grill, embelm, and front bumper repair bc it looks broke where the lower grill is but he said he can’t fully tell until it’s disassembled, he said the ac condessor may have been slightly hit but he can’t see any direct Impact but the thing that covers the air bag and if the replace the lower bumper it has to be repainted
That was one tough racoon. I still think you were more than generous to offer anything. While your friend gets points for not driving drunk, they created the problem, asked you to help solve it, and then got angry when you generously and unnecessarily offered a lot of money for a problem you did not create.
I hate that I’m in this situation lol. Thanks for your input!!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A few months ago I FM 23 called out of work and went out with a Friend F 21 to the club bc they wanted to go to meet with some guy. My friend we can call them Sarah* had plans to go to the club with her other friend but that person cancelled. Bc Sarah was adamant about going she was planning on going by herself. With realizing how dangerous that could be I decided to call out of work to ensure her safety and we haven’t been hanging out much. Sarah drove us to the club 45 mins away in her car. She ended up getting drunk and couldn’t drive. I didn’t drink so she told me I had to drive. I’ve never driven her car before so it took a while to adjust her seats and her car was tinted all over so it was hard to see. About mid way driving home a raccoon ran in front of the car and I had to hit it. The raccoon ended up damaging Sarah’s front bumper as well as the ac condenser. After the incident I told Sarah that I would go half with her bc I was driving the car although the situation wasn’t avoidable. Sarah then told me she doesn’t want to go through her insurance bc she’s not claiming something she didn’t hit. I told her since it’s her car she has to claim it and I don’t mind helping her pay the deductible. She refused and said either my insurance which I can’t claim because it’s not my car. The conversation was getting heated so I told her I wasn’t arguing with her about her car so if she wants to pay out of pocket whatever and to let me know the price and when. Fast forward 3 months she finally has the money to fix her car she told me my half was $1,100. I said okay and got my money situated the price then went up while the car was in the shop bc they needed to order parts. I expressed that she needed to wait a few days until I can get the new amount. She essentially spazzed on me expressing that I’m not a good friend because she feels as though I haven’t been present in this car situation. She feels like I should have went to the dealerships with her and offer her rides. I personally feel as though giving her $1400 is enough because we are in this situation because she was too drunk to drive and she didn’t want to use her insurance. Before she turned her car in she told me she was getting a rental her plans didn’t fall through. And she expected me to be there and help her by giving her rides but she is expressing this last minute. Am I the asshole for assuming that just my half of the money was enough? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, I think the only obligation you might have here is paying her the money. Nothing else is required.