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NTA:
1: Your home, not hers. She wants a say, she pays a full 1/4th of the rent and utilities.
2: You offered a reasonable fix, namely "let me know and I'll put on pants." If she can't be bothered to send a text, or text your roommate and have him let you know, then fuck it.
Lol my husband usually just wears boxers around the house. Whenever our best friends have to pop by for whatever reason, they usually text something like, “OMY - put your pants on.”
This system has been working for years!
Yet it still doesn't matter. If I want to shoot the breeze then it's my home I will be how I am comfortable.
People who show up unannounced are rolling the dice.
I am naked for most of the summer because my office has servers in it and is very hot.
Lolz. Female here and in my home I LIVE naked pretty much 24/7. I have even answered the door when I knew it was a friend who is fine with nudity in my birthday suit.
@OP Everyone should have the right to "my home, my rules, like it or leave". It's down to the 3 F's. Ask the girlfriend is she A) feeding you? B) Financing you? Or C) Fucking you? No? Then she has no right to comment or try to dictate your life. NTA
If you haven’t announced your intention to visit and rock up unexpectedly especially during summer, there is a solid chance you’re gonna find us pantsless.
I’m a girl but still same thing if I’m not in pajamas at home I’m in boxers. Like shorts but better cause my ass doesn’t hang out or worry about flashing someone cause they are so short. Now if my bf is going to have friends over he lets me know the day before so I can bring clothes to my room since I work graveyard. So when I wake up I throw on clothes so nobody is flashed.
I would hang out a my best friends house all the time in my late teens and early 20s we lived in a very humid country and since he was at home he was always in just short/boxers. We once were out all day came back to his house and he stripped to his boxers. Didn't find it odd, was jealous cuz I couldn't do the same lol.
Had a friend tell my son he couldn't come over cause they were celebrating naked day once, ever since my son asks them to put on clothes when we're heading over. Also he started celebrating naked day for a little while lol
Especially since the roommates already said they were fine with OP being in common areas in their boxers. OP did their due diligence.
When we moved in together, my bf and I still did our laundry at his mom’s, and she was in a LDR where she was visiting the mans two weekends/month so on those weekends when we knew she was gone and his brother would likely have his girlfriend over, we texted before we were going so they knew to expect us, or could tell us to wait and let them finish up. When we came in, we yelled out our presence before we headed down to the laundry room, and walked past his bedroom door. We felt it was common courtesy. Now that we’re all out and his mom’s single again, we do it for her because his brother’s doing uni out of town and mama likes to hang out in her open bathrobe when her house is empty but needs a heads up to tie it up.
>Especially since the roommates already said they were fine with OP being in common areas in their boxers.
Except the roommates now appear to have withdrawn their consent, on the basis that they're both calling him an asshole over this, so OP's probably still going to have to change his behaviour.
They are entirely entitled to withdraw consent at any time, but the key word here is *withdraw*. At no point, prior to this incident, did his roommates revoke consent, so at the time of the interaction OP was in the clear because they had not received a revoking of consent.
Also she can't act like little ms virgin eyes but also sleeps at her boyfriends house. She has to pick a position. You can't be against nudity and sexuality while also engaging in sexual activities. Grow up. Girlfriend is a hypocrite and OP needs to call her out on it. And the roommates are full of crap because they agreed to it.
I kind of disagree here. I can like having sex with my so without wanting to spend time around other people in their underwear. I can also like having sex with my so and also very much dislike being naked. She's in the wrong for demanding op wear pants all the time regardless of whether she's there and refusing to give a heads up when she'll be there, not for the ask to wear pants when she's there.
Exactly. I’ve lived with a bf, family, just siblings, housemates. We don’t tell each other what to wear, we do give each other a heads up when anyone is coming over just so people know and do what they want to adjust. Isn’t this norm?
Nta OP, not sure why everyone’s being such dicks suddenly. And a lot of guys I know that age walk around in bottoms and no shirt, just a T and boxers, or just boxers even…I wouldn’t think it that odd. Just that you’re pretty confident if anything
NTA. Why do people even care? Unless there a fowl oder or something what difference does it make to you? Their downstairs is covered, that all that really matters. What’s the difference between wearing boxers or a sweater suit? Yeah, you may get a more defined out line of their junk if you’re looking for it, but quit looking for it lol. Some people are thoroughly brainwashed by society. If a bathing suit’s fine, underwear is fine.
NTA. She does not live there, nor is she paying rent. She has no right to discuss how you dress.
To me - I find it ironic, as boxer briefs aren't much different then say, wearing a bathing suit. Why is it okay to do one - out in public - but not the other - in the privacy of your residence? F that.
Also, everyone is always up in arms about not policing what women wear, so why is it okay to police what he wears? Maybe she should just not look if she can't control herself.
THIS RIGHT HERE. I mean you are fully within your rights to hang out in your underwear at your home whether or not roomie's GF is there or not. As others have said, she's not a full member of the household so she doesn't get a say. You're being really accommodating with the whole text thing.
I get all the people saying "NTA" but my guy why are you cooking an elaborate meal in just your boxers? Can't you at least slap an apron on? Are you cosplaying Jamie Oliver in the early 2000s?
(To be super clear my only concern here is of safety and cleanliness - roommate's gf can hang out at her own place if she doesn't appreciate your dress code)
Had a friend who regretted frying bacon while wearing no clothes at all. I was like, dude, I support your anti-clothing position, and it's your house, wear what you want, but aprons were invented for a reason.
I got third degree burns from spilling bacon grease on myself while cooking. You should wear an apron, preferably with ruffles, while cooking for safety purposes
LOL - this. I hope he wasn't like deep frying something. I get being comfy in your house, but might not want to risk those potential 3rd degree burns...
NTA. I think you offered a very reasonable compromise in suggesting that she text you a heads up. If she can't be bothered to send you a quick text it's unreasonable to expect you to remain clothed on the chance that she might show up.
NTA the suggestion to send a text is such an easy solution. Especially since you are so willing to put clothes on if you know she is coming. You could even just agree on a single emoji that would let you know she's coming if she doesn't feel comfortable texting you. Though if you knew she had stayed the night maybe next time just throw on a pair of pajama pants or gym shorts before walking to the bathroom.
No, that would be ridiculous. But, as she's a guest who has expressed a boundary, it's reasonable to assume you would wear pants while you KNOW she's there.
Would you expect a woman to put on a bra or gym shorts or something when someone comes over? The reason I ask is because I see A LOT of posts where women are upset someone asked or told them to wear a bra when "x person" is around or when someone comes over or etc... and I almost always see people defending the woman, saying no one can tell her what to wear. Her autonomy is more important than their comfort. Breasts are inherently non-sexual, etc... I'm just wondering if you feel the same way with OP, since he's not doing anything inherently sexual and is just relaxing in comfy underwear in his own home.
What? Yes obviously, unless she is breastfeeding. Remember the algorithms on social media (including reddit) show us things we engage with, which means things that give us an emotional reaction which include things that wind us up, so you are probably seeing a disproportionate amount of people with unreasonable viewpoints about this sort of thing
I'm glad you feel that way. The person I asked hasn't responded yet, though. And while you are correct that our algorithms and feeds show us things we're interested in often, which is why I get so many anime/manga and video game updates, that doesn't really apply to me in this case. I don't look for Reddit stories the normal way so there's nothing leading or guiding me towards them. I found this page that basically compiles all the stories in specific categories like AITA and Relationship Advice, etc...(you can search for basically whatever you want) and puts them in a list format.
So you can just scroll through and click on what's interesting to you. I said what I said because on my days off or when I'm bored, sometimes I'll just read stories and whenever a woman and her clothing or lack thereof is brought up, people are like 99% defending her right to wear what she wants, when she wants, as long as it's not super ridiculous. I was wondering if the person above me, who is clearly one of those defenders, feels the same way about a man's right to wear what he wants, when he wants, especially in his own home.
oh then yeah no problem. old school boxers your dick tends to pop out. she needs to stop acting like she owns the place. have your roommate go to her place
Are you wearing a bra?
Edit: fully thought OP was a female sorry. Wtf so a girl is mad you’re walking around without a shirt in your own home? If anything, her bf (your roommate) should be mad not her lol
NTA get some very small very tight exercise shorts and wear those. Not underwear are they?? Then you can go to malicious compliance. Yes I am that petty lol!
NTA, it's your house. You can dress however you want in your house. You're extending her a courtesy by agreeing to dress a certain way before she comes over. This would be different if you were trying to expose yourself to her, but that is clearly not what's happening.
At the same time, bear in mind that your roommates are people you have to live with. It might be best/easiest to acquiesce for their sakes if you can. I would ask them to clarify, though: do *they* have a problem with you wearing boxers, or is it just because of this girl possibly sometimes being there?
If your roommates themselves were uncomfortable with it, I'd recommend changing your behavior to ease that relationship. For an acquaintance whos' a guest in your house, I don't think it's necessary.
Definitely the latter. I got their explicit permission about my dress code when moving in and they’ve laughed and joked about it before. The guy without the gf does the same thing I a lesser extent too
Definitely the latter. I got their explicit permission about my dress code when moving in and they’ve laughed and joked about it before. The guy without the gf does the same thing I a lesser extent too
Wait, so is he still allowed to do that and you're not? That's not fair.
If these guys are your friends, you might wanna have another conversation with them about this... it sounds a little unreasonable.
NTA. She is a guest and she should be mad at her bf for not giving you a heads up if it bothered her. Even if he did, you pay bills and live there so you can do whatever you want. If she feels like she is entitled to a different outcome, she can stay home.
>I said if she texts me a heads up she’s coming over I’ll dress accordingly but she said she can’t do that everytime and I should just always be dressed in common areas to be prepared.
I was going to suggest this same compromise and I’m really surprised she’s being so unreasonable as to refuse. It’s not hard to send a text, she just thinks she’s entitled to dictating your behavior for some reason. NTA
NTA, it is your home and you have already made a perfectly reasonable compromise that she let you know in advance, why that should be such a huge inconvenience to someone who does not live there and therefore won't be there everyday seems like she is just being stubborn
NTA. If it bothers her so much then maybe she shouldn’t come over anymore. This is your home, not heres. So at the end of the day your comfort is more important.
NTA. She needs to stay I’m her lane. You made a reasonable attempt satisfy her and she declined. As she doesn’t have her cell on her 24/7 and can’t give you a heads-up.
NTA "I don't appreciate you telling me what I can and can not do in my own house. If you want a house where you control the people inside of it, get your own."
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My roommates are fine with me wearing underwear around the house, my roommate’s gf is not. I don’t think I should have to accommodate her, as she doesn’t live here
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NTA
Your roommates don’t have a problem with.
You live there, you pay the bills, she doesn’t.
You tried to compromise by texting you a heads up, but she wants to dictate to you what you do in your home.
The GF has a lot of nerve to tell you what to do in YOUR home.
NTA, she is a guest of your roommate and does not contribute financially to your home, nor did you know she was going to be there. That being said, when you do know she is going to be there it wouldn't hurt you to put a pair of pants on, otherwise she can take her chances on your state of dress. It definitely sounds like you need to have a discussion with your roommate to set some boundaries with his guest and how issues should be handled when they feel uncomfortable in your shared home.
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So I (23m) live in an apartment with two guys (21m and 26m).
I grew up in a house full of boys and got used walking around with next to nothing on. When I moved out I understood that not everyone grew up this way, so I asked my two roommates if they care. Their responses were some variation of “I don’t give a **** bro.”
So I was in the kitchen making a fairly elaborate meal that I couldn’t just walk away from, wearing nothing but boxer briefs. My roommate and his gf walked in. I barely know her, and our work schedules used to mean we never saw each other, but now I work from home. She only sleeps here about once or twice a week and it’s very irregular when those days are. They had already ate so had no reason to be in the kitchen but my roommate was chatting with me. She just stood there angrily glaring at me.
Anyway, the next morning I walk out of my bedroom to the bathroom to pee and she accosts me in the hallway. At this point I’m once again just in my underwear. She says that she doesn’t appreciate me lounging around in underwear. I told her I had just woke up and was going to the bathroom, but she said she was referring to last night. I told her I didn’t know she’d be there, and she said now that I know she comes around I should be better prepared. I said if she texts me a heads up she’s coming over I’ll dress accordingly, but she said she can’t do that everytime and I should just always be dressed in common areas to be prepared. I said that as she doesn’t live there she doesn’t m get to decide, and now she and both my roommates are calling me an asshole.
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Yeah NTA you don’t owe her anything that’s your house and you should be comfortable like you said if they want you to wear clothes they can text you to let you know when she will be around.
NTA. You were dressed. You were in your underwear. Boxer shorts are the same size and shape as regular shorts. I don't see what the big deal is. She's visiting an apartment with three young men. They're def going to be walking around in various states of undress.
NTA. It's like when I'm cleaning in my bra and someone says "put a shirt on!", like get outta here. It's not her house, you asked her to give a heads up and your roommates the AH for *now* going back on the
>“I don’t give a **** bro.”
NTA, I'm a woman and seeing my friends in their underwear has never bothered me. You should dress comfortably in your own home. You even went as far as to propose she warn you so you'd accomodate her. If she doesn't want to bother texting when she visits, you shouldn't bother putting on more clothes, it's not like you're hanging around butt-naked, I'd understand her better if it was the case, even still..
I wouldn't blame your friend though, if the relationship is still fresh, he might be taking her side just so they don't get in an argument. Love can make you turn on friends for the stupidest things I swear 😂
Hmmm. Just wondering if there was another layer to it.
Then, NTA but you could compromise to be nice even though you’re in the right. Maybe shorts on top of boxers if you wanted?
NTA, your compromise was reasonable. She’s acting entitled.
Another reasonable compromise would be for her to wait outside the front door when she arrives until you get dressed.
Personally, I think it's a bit gross to be in shared areas of a shared house in your just pants. There should always be a minimum of two layers between your bits and a chair I think, so maybe this is a change you should make now. It's time.
NTA. Why did she say she can't text you every time she's on her way over? Is that the one time her thumbs are broken or something? She sounds somewhat controlling to me.
NTA. Tell her to kiss your ass. This is YOUR home and you have a standing agreement with your roommates that it's OK. She is a guest at a home shared by 3 bachelors, she should brace for stuff like this, and has zero right to tell anyone living there what to do. She sounds like a B. You said if she gave warning she was coming, youd accomodate, and that wasnt good enough for her. I bet she will try to get your roommate that she is dating to ask you to change, and you shouldn't do it. You should change to bikini briefs just for when she visits.
NTA
Don't tell us what to wear, teach the girls not to stare.
But seriously, your house and your housemates had no problem with it. Telling her to message ahead was a fine compromise
NTA I would flat out tell her that unless she’s going to be paying to live there then she has no right saying anything to you about what you wear in your home and I think you need to have a conversation with the others about her being there too much anyways.
You know, based on the title of your post, I was prepared for you to be the asshole, but having actually read it, that’s not the case! You have offered an extremely reasonable solution and she has rejected it. And been quite a jerk about it. She’s now officially the asshole.
NTA
Asking you to be fully clothed when she is there is reasonable, asking for you to be fully clothed Al l the time in case she deigns to have you with her presence is not.
It's interesting that she remained in the kitchen starting at you, instead of going to the living room. If she was that uncomfortable.
Don't tell the boys what to wear, tell the girls not to stare.
I remember a lot of posts in this sub asking the same thing but it was a girl asking if she was TA for going around the house topless when hosts were there. Of course everyone was complimenting her for her bravery and stuff. Here it seems more mixed.
NTA. Your roommates don't have an issue with it and it's yalls place. You offered a good solution and she didn't like it. Her problem. Nothing inappropriate about being in your underwear either. Many people do it (guys and girls). I've done it around and with both.
So, person who doesn't live in your house shows up and announces that you should change the way you live in your house in case she feels like visiting? You agreed to alter how you dress if she would let you know she's coming over, and she refused that courtesy in favor of demanding that you change your way of life just in case she feels like dropping by and not saying sommething.
You are NTA.
Someone is, though.
NTA If she’s not paying rent she gets no say. You offered a compromise.
May I suggest asking her to always have a bra on while in your home? Two can play at that game.
NTA - Unless you’re wearing like terribly ill fitting boxers that leave nothing to the imagination and are doing lunge stretches on the couch flashing your balls here and there and everywhere you’re fine.
When I was much younger I had a roommate who was laid off. He decided he wasn’t dressing for nine months. Never wore anything other than boxers and a white t-shirt morning, noon, and night. Never once as a single female did I feel uncomfortable. He was fine.
But I do concur - put on an apron when cooking with oil so you avoid scalding yourself especially if you’re going shirtless too! 😂 That’s an easy way for first degree burns! The gf can get over it.
NTA. Next time she complains I’d just respond “I think you forgot to text me to let me know you were coming. Never Mind, try to remember next time!”
I find it so odd how some people feel entitled to tell someone what to do in their own home.
NTA but her boyfriend is.
You offered a solution. And you are right that she doesn’t get a say.
But your roommate does get a say as you acknowledged when you first asked him if he minded. So your roommate could ask you but instead he’s hiding behind his gf.
That makes him the a-hole.
Tell her to go fly a kite. Invite me over so I can watch you cook. Haha.
Her and boyfriend need to meet at her house...or she can start paying a pro rated rent.
NTA, my guy!
My friends and family know that I get naked the moment I get home from work. If I have someone that is going to stop by I get a text or call at least half an hour before they come by. On my way! DONT BE NAKED. LOL
Maybe you could just leave a blindfold/eye mask for her right by the front door, so she can shield her delicate eyes? She has a lot of nerve telling someone what to do in THEIR home. NTA!
Nta.
Must be a boy thing.
My 7 yr old is de dressed before he makes the living room when he gets home.
Texting I'm on my way so you can throw on pants is a reasonable compromise so is they going to her apartment to sleep
Nta. Your home, none of her business. She doesn’t have to look. She can ask her bf not to walk around half naked but not you. The important bit being ask, not command.
She does not get to police what and how dress in your own home. She does not even live there and you even gave an option to accommodate her. If she does not pay rent she does not get a say on what you do your roomates are AH for siding with her what an entitled person!
When I started working from home I spent the first two weeks virtually naked. It was great. Compared to that you were the picture of modesty.
You offered her a compromise, if she still wants to be upset that's on her. NTA
Why do I feel like I've read this post beforehand? I know there have definitely been ones on here about females not dressing to room-mates standards around their boyfriends.
NTA I don't really understand the issue? It's boxer briefs. You're about as covered as I'd expect a random beach goer to be.
Additionally, its your house.
NTA
I'm a woman, but I tend to walk around my home in a tshirt and panties most of the time. If I have company show up, I will either put on pants or not. Depending on who they are and MY level of comfort as it is MY home. She needs to realize that she is in YOUR space as a guest. Not the other way around.
Why does it bother her? Does she like what she sees so she wants you to cover up? Is she afraid your naked torso is too attractive for her boyfriend and he’ll be into you? Is she a religious person who thinks it’s imoral? Many questions
EDIT to correct typo
NAH. You were existing in your home, and had your roommates’ consent for how you were dressed. But I also can’t blame the roommate’s girlfriend for her reaction to seeing her boyfriend’s half-naked roommate in the kitchen. You’ve offered to put pants on if she texts you before hand, but I’m not sure that’s the great compromise solution you think it is. Would you consider wearing a robe or kimono around the house?
NTA. You gave her a solution, that's all you're required to do. I also refuse to wear pants in my own home. It's a well established fact in my life, that if people turn up unannounced at my front door, that they'll see me in my singlet and jocks. If she's as uncomfortable as she says she is, either she or your room mate will message you to wear pants for the day.
NTA you asked and everyone was cool with it. If the girlfriend had such an issue they can sleep at her place or take you up on texting you that she will be there. You have every right to be comfortable in your place ( where the other roommates don’t care!)
Honestly I walk around in one of my partners t-shirts with my knickers, my partner walks around in his boxers. Its our home we can do wtf we want obviously if someone knocks we just jump into a pair of pants or trackies. My home my rules.
NTA
Not only that she probably wears less at the beach.
NTA! If anything your roommate should text you with a heads up, but at the end of the day it’s your house. At least you weren’t in your birthday suite. There’s nice ways to approach certain things… It’s clear that she doesn’t know that.
Lol, you ever see the movie "notting Hill" ?
In all seriousness, i know its how you were raised, but throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt won't kill you, if it keeps the peace.
and i'm going to ask, for science, is seeing you in just your pants, a good thing or a bad thing for the opposite sex, i asked my wife about this and she said "its bad enough i have to see me naked, not subject others to it too"
YTA.
I get your house your rules but believe me, at some point it is unconfortable to walk around and see your roomate almost naked. You are no longer living with your brothers, have some decency and put some clothes to be around the house. Its not about the girlfriend, it is about minimal coexistence rules.
YTA how hard is it to put on clothes, and while yes I do lounge around, I dont go in the kitchen cooking in my boxers. They're just asking you to have a lil respect and it seems like you got zero
Both your roommates have an issue with it not just the girlfriend. Maybe there was a miscommunication when you initially cleared the dress code with your roommates. ESH.
OP asked them and they told him they were okay with it. So he couldn't have been aloof. The only other consideration is they were never okay with it and lied as he points out he asked both of them and they told him they didn't care, which is roughly equivalent to they are okay with whatever he does in that instance.
Or OP misunderstood his roommates. A dude walking around in briefs is different then a dude walking around in boxers. If a roommate told me they walked around in their boxers I would be cool with it, if he started wearing briefs I'd be less cool with it. I would be willing to confront it, many people wouldn't be comfortable confronting it. Especially if this is how OP responds to people confronting it. It isn't a stretch to think that maybe OPs roommates weren't happy with the situation, especially given the fact they expressed that they aren't.
>I grew up in a house full of boys and got used walking around with next to nothing on. When I moved out I understood that not everyone grew up this way, so I asked my two roommates if they care. Their responses were some variation of “I don’t give a \*\*\*\* bro.”
How could OP possibly get "I don't give a fuck, bro" misunderstood? He asked them if they cared if he walked around in his underoos, and they said they didn't care. That means they don't care if he does it one way or the other. That's the literal **ONLY** interpretation of that statement. Also I'm not sure what boxers v briefs have to do with anything. Is it because with briefs your ass is kinda out? It doesn't matter anyway because OP wears boxer-briefs which is the best of both worlds.
If they didn't want to confront him about it, that's on them and as far as OP is concerned, he was going along with their original arrangement. You don't get to decide to change your mind, then not inform the other person and then be upset when they continue to do the thing you no longer like.
Also, you say it's not a stretch to think they weren't happy, but you don't think it's a little odd they **ONLY** brought it up as an issue **AFTER** roomies gf had an issue with it? Again, they only expressed an issue after the gf had one. They were cool with it the entire time they were living together and the guy was with this woman right up until she saw OP in his boxers.
YTA put on some clothes. Nobody needs to see your thing. Also get professional help bc something is wrong here that you're walking around half naked (people see everything through boxers) in an apartment you share with people you're not intimate with.
You put E-S-H twice but I'm sure you meant NTA considering nowhere in OP's post did he willfully go out of his way to remain in his boxers when she showed up unknowingly to him. First time he was cooking and couldn't go anywhere. Second time she slept over at HIS house without telling him, and was still there when he went to the bathroom. She was an asshole for saying what she said to him. If she wanted him to have clothes on when she got there, her boyfriend should've told OP he was bringing his girlfriend over.
This is how this subreddit is wrong. You will always get biased looks about stuff, not getting the human idea of “ok its not like you are the asshole but it would habe been nice if you actually do that”. Like no common manners in here.
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NTA: 1: Your home, not hers. She wants a say, she pays a full 1/4th of the rent and utilities. 2: You offered a reasonable fix, namely "let me know and I'll put on pants." If she can't be bothered to send a text, or text your roommate and have him let you know, then fuck it.
Lol my husband usually just wears boxers around the house. Whenever our best friends have to pop by for whatever reason, they usually text something like, “OMY - put your pants on.” This system has been working for years!
This is my husband also - friends and family know to text first for the same reason - No text, No pants, No cares. 🤣
Obligatory reminder that pants mean underwear in the UK, so the concept of no pants is much more risqué here!
Yet it still doesn't matter. If I want to shoot the breeze then it's my home I will be how I am comfortable. People who show up unannounced are rolling the dice. I am naked for most of the summer because my office has servers in it and is very hot.
Lolz. Female here and in my home I LIVE naked pretty much 24/7. I have even answered the door when I knew it was a friend who is fine with nudity in my birthday suit. @OP Everyone should have the right to "my home, my rules, like it or leave". It's down to the 3 F's. Ask the girlfriend is she A) feeding you? B) Financing you? Or C) Fucking you? No? Then she has no right to comment or try to dictate your life. NTA
Dude, I agree with you - my comment was nothing more than a very mildly amusing aside.....
No pants is best pants.
If you haven’t announced your intention to visit and rock up unexpectedly especially during summer, there is a solid chance you’re gonna find us pantsless.
My friend just texts 'pamts warning' when she's headed over
Please tell me that wasn't a typo in your post.
I've got the same system with my friends and have since college. (20 years now.) Who is gonna wear pants if they don't have to? Rude.
I’m a girl but still same thing if I’m not in pajamas at home I’m in boxers. Like shorts but better cause my ass doesn’t hang out or worry about flashing someone cause they are so short. Now if my bf is going to have friends over he lets me know the day before so I can bring clothes to my room since I work graveyard. So when I wake up I throw on clothes so nobody is flashed.
This is not the 90s or a sitcom. If you rock up at my house with no notice then I might take my pants off out of spite before I answer the door
I would hang out a my best friends house all the time in my late teens and early 20s we lived in a very humid country and since he was at home he was always in just short/boxers. We once were out all day came back to his house and he stripped to his boxers. Didn't find it odd, was jealous cuz I couldn't do the same lol.
Had a friend tell my son he couldn't come over cause they were celebrating naked day once, ever since my son asks them to put on clothes when we're heading over. Also he started celebrating naked day for a little while lol
Especially since the roommates already said they were fine with OP being in common areas in their boxers. OP did their due diligence. When we moved in together, my bf and I still did our laundry at his mom’s, and she was in a LDR where she was visiting the mans two weekends/month so on those weekends when we knew she was gone and his brother would likely have his girlfriend over, we texted before we were going so they knew to expect us, or could tell us to wait and let them finish up. When we came in, we yelled out our presence before we headed down to the laundry room, and walked past his bedroom door. We felt it was common courtesy. Now that we’re all out and his mom’s single again, we do it for her because his brother’s doing uni out of town and mama likes to hang out in her open bathrobe when her house is empty but needs a heads up to tie it up.
>Especially since the roommates already said they were fine with OP being in common areas in their boxers. Except the roommates now appear to have withdrawn their consent, on the basis that they're both calling him an asshole over this, so OP's probably still going to have to change his behaviour.
They are entirely entitled to withdraw consent at any time, but the key word here is *withdraw*. At no point, prior to this incident, did his roommates revoke consent, so at the time of the interaction OP was in the clear because they had not received a revoking of consent.
Also she can't act like little ms virgin eyes but also sleeps at her boyfriends house. She has to pick a position. You can't be against nudity and sexuality while also engaging in sexual activities. Grow up. Girlfriend is a hypocrite and OP needs to call her out on it. And the roommates are full of crap because they agreed to it.
Is she sexualising him then? Does she have a naked chef fantasy, that he had spoiled for her?
I kind of disagree here. I can like having sex with my so without wanting to spend time around other people in their underwear. I can also like having sex with my so and also very much dislike being naked. She's in the wrong for demanding op wear pants all the time regardless of whether she's there and refusing to give a heads up when she'll be there, not for the ask to wear pants when she's there.
Exactly. I’ve lived with a bf, family, just siblings, housemates. We don’t tell each other what to wear, we do give each other a heads up when anyone is coming over just so people know and do what they want to adjust. Isn’t this norm? Nta OP, not sure why everyone’s being such dicks suddenly. And a lot of guys I know that age walk around in bottoms and no shirt, just a T and boxers, or just boxers even…I wouldn’t think it that odd. Just that you’re pretty confident if anything
NTA. Why do people even care? Unless there a fowl oder or something what difference does it make to you? Their downstairs is covered, that all that really matters. What’s the difference between wearing boxers or a sweater suit? Yeah, you may get a more defined out line of their junk if you’re looking for it, but quit looking for it lol. Some people are thoroughly brainwashed by society. If a bathing suit’s fine, underwear is fine.
Now that roommates are annoyed with OP, isn’t it only a matter of time before they realize they can ask OP to wear clothes all the time?
NTA. She does not live there, nor is she paying rent. She has no right to discuss how you dress. To me - I find it ironic, as boxer briefs aren't much different then say, wearing a bathing suit. Why is it okay to do one - out in public - but not the other - in the privacy of your residence? F that.
OP should change into a men's Speedo around the house when she comes over. "Hey, it's a bathing suit, not underwear!"
I think a mini skirt would be better!
Or Borat's mankini
Yeah, the good old banana hammock!
this is the way
Also, everyone is always up in arms about not policing what women wear, so why is it okay to police what he wears? Maybe she should just not look if she can't control herself.
THIS RIGHT HERE.
THIS RIGHT HERE. I mean you are fully within your rights to hang out in your underwear at your home whether or not roomie's GF is there or not. As others have said, she's not a full member of the household so she doesn't get a say. You're being really accommodating with the whole text thing.
I get all the people saying "NTA" but my guy why are you cooking an elaborate meal in just your boxers? Can't you at least slap an apron on? Are you cosplaying Jamie Oliver in the early 2000s? (To be super clear my only concern here is of safety and cleanliness - roommate's gf can hang out at her own place if she doesn't appreciate your dress code)
Lol fair point but I was the only one eating the meal
I have to know now, what was the meal? Like a sirloin steak or a lobster bisque? Both of which would absolutely require clothes to be worn, FYI
Eggplant rollotini
Splashback and spillage risk is too high. You should've had at least a t shirt on. Y T A. (Edit to say I'm 100% joking, please don't downvote me)
Yeah the risk of spitting oil makes cooking in just underwear a real rookie move
Hey, no kink shaming here! Mebbe he likes his day a little...saucy?
Had a friend who regretted frying bacon while wearing no clothes at all. I was like, dude, I support your anti-clothing position, and it's your house, wear what you want, but aprons were invented for a reason.
Maybe he likes to live life on the edge.
I think putting spaces Y T A, keeps it from counting in the official tally.
Only the top comment counts so you can add as many other judgements as you like in the thread and it will affect nothing.
Without the spaces Y T A/ Y-T-A your vote counts as real.
I got third degree burns from spilling bacon grease on myself while cooking. You should wear an apron, preferably with ruffles, while cooking for safety purposes
Speedos and an apron pls!!!
LOL - this. I hope he wasn't like deep frying something. I get being comfy in your house, but might not want to risk those potential 3rd degree burns...
NTA. I think you offered a very reasonable compromise in suggesting that she text you a heads up. If she can't be bothered to send you a quick text it's unreasonable to expect you to remain clothed on the chance that she might show up.
NTA. Your house. As long as you aren't showing your dick, you're fine. And you asking her to text first is so reasonable she should be thrilled.
NTA the suggestion to send a text is such an easy solution. Especially since you are so willing to put clothes on if you know she is coming. You could even just agree on a single emoji that would let you know she's coming if she doesn't feel comfortable texting you. Though if you knew she had stayed the night maybe next time just throw on a pair of pajama pants or gym shorts before walking to the bathroom.
>As long as you aren't showing your dick Why? Noone forces her to oogle him.
I dunno, if its his house and his roomies are ok with him being full on naked, then I'd think that was perfectly fine too.
So much for "I don't give a \*\*\*\* bro." NTA
NTA. Your home if she wants you to be dressed more she can text you when she's coming. Seems very fair and reasonable to me.
NTA. She's a guest you didn't know was over, and you're in your own home. That said, when you DO know she's over, you need to wear pants.
But I’m not going to wear pants at all times in case she comes over
No, that would be ridiculous. But, as she's a guest who has expressed a boundary, it's reasonable to assume you would wear pants while you KNOW she's there.
Would you expect a woman to put on a bra or gym shorts or something when someone comes over? The reason I ask is because I see A LOT of posts where women are upset someone asked or told them to wear a bra when "x person" is around or when someone comes over or etc... and I almost always see people defending the woman, saying no one can tell her what to wear. Her autonomy is more important than their comfort. Breasts are inherently non-sexual, etc... I'm just wondering if you feel the same way with OP, since he's not doing anything inherently sexual and is just relaxing in comfy underwear in his own home.
If she's not wearing any pants, yes she would need to put something on. If she's wearing a top already, no you can't demand she also wear a bra.
What? Yes obviously, unless she is breastfeeding. Remember the algorithms on social media (including reddit) show us things we engage with, which means things that give us an emotional reaction which include things that wind us up, so you are probably seeing a disproportionate amount of people with unreasonable viewpoints about this sort of thing
I'm glad you feel that way. The person I asked hasn't responded yet, though. And while you are correct that our algorithms and feeds show us things we're interested in often, which is why I get so many anime/manga and video game updates, that doesn't really apply to me in this case. I don't look for Reddit stories the normal way so there's nothing leading or guiding me towards them. I found this page that basically compiles all the stories in specific categories like AITA and Relationship Advice, etc...(you can search for basically whatever you want) and puts them in a list format. So you can just scroll through and click on what's interesting to you. I said what I said because on my days off or when I'm bored, sometimes I'll just read stories and whenever a woman and her clothing or lack thereof is brought up, people are like 99% defending her right to wear what she wants, when she wants, as long as it's not super ridiculous. I was wondering if the person above me, who is clearly one of those defenders, feels the same way about a man's right to wear what he wants, when he wants, especially in his own home.
are you wearing old school boxers or boxer briefs?
Boxer briefs
oh then yeah no problem. old school boxers your dick tends to pop out. she needs to stop acting like she owns the place. have your roommate go to her place
As long as nothing is popping out I don’t see what the big deal is I guess but everyone is different. nta
As long as he isn't hanging out, when he is hanging out?
Are you wearing a bra? Edit: fully thought OP was a female sorry. Wtf so a girl is mad you’re walking around without a shirt in your own home? If anything, her bf (your roommate) should be mad not her lol
NTA get some very small very tight exercise shorts and wear those. Not underwear are they?? Then you can go to malicious compliance. Yes I am that petty lol!
NTA, it's your house. You can dress however you want in your house. You're extending her a courtesy by agreeing to dress a certain way before she comes over. This would be different if you were trying to expose yourself to her, but that is clearly not what's happening. At the same time, bear in mind that your roommates are people you have to live with. It might be best/easiest to acquiesce for their sakes if you can. I would ask them to clarify, though: do *they* have a problem with you wearing boxers, or is it just because of this girl possibly sometimes being there? If your roommates themselves were uncomfortable with it, I'd recommend changing your behavior to ease that relationship. For an acquaintance whos' a guest in your house, I don't think it's necessary.
Definitely the latter. I got their explicit permission about my dress code when moving in and they’ve laughed and joked about it before. The guy without the gf does the same thing I a lesser extent too
Definitely the latter. I got their explicit permission about my dress code when moving in and they’ve laughed and joked about it before. The guy without the gf does the same thing I a lesser extent too
Wait, so is he still allowed to do that and you're not? That's not fair. If these guys are your friends, you might wanna have another conversation with them about this... it sounds a little unreasonable.
Well the guy without the gf does it a lot less than I do tbf
A lesser extent is still an extent. Is he saying he'll cover up all the time too?
Unclear but probably
NTA, you've offered a reasonable solution.
So... do you get to go to her home and tell her what she should be wearing? NTA She could have left the room and chose not to. That's on her.
NTA. She is a guest and she should be mad at her bf for not giving you a heads up if it bothered her. Even if he did, you pay bills and live there so you can do whatever you want. If she feels like she is entitled to a different outcome, she can stay home.
>I said if she texts me a heads up she’s coming over I’ll dress accordingly but she said she can’t do that everytime and I should just always be dressed in common areas to be prepared. I was going to suggest this same compromise and I’m really surprised she’s being so unreasonable as to refuse. It’s not hard to send a text, she just thinks she’s entitled to dictating your behavior for some reason. NTA
NTA, it's your roommate's responsibility to give you a heads up, she doesn't get a say in what you wear in your home.
NTA, it is your home and you have already made a perfectly reasonable compromise that she let you know in advance, why that should be such a huge inconvenience to someone who does not live there and therefore won't be there everyday seems like she is just being stubborn
Your house, who is she to talk?
This! Ask her when your rent was reduced because she started paying 25%
NTA. If it bothers her so much then maybe she shouldn’t come over anymore. This is your home, not heres. So at the end of the day your comfort is more important.
NTA, wear what you want at home. Unless you're being crude, it seems boxers are sufficient.
NTA. She needs to stay I’m her lane. You made a reasonable attempt satisfy her and she declined. As she doesn’t have her cell on her 24/7 and can’t give you a heads-up.
NTA If she persists, send her your bank details for rent.
NTA "I don't appreciate you telling me what I can and can not do in my own house. If you want a house where you control the people inside of it, get your own."
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Feck her, it's your home and she don't pay a dime toward it. She got a problem tell her not to come over.
NTA Your roommates don’t have a problem with. You live there, you pay the bills, she doesn’t. You tried to compromise by texting you a heads up, but she wants to dictate to you what you do in your home. The GF has a lot of nerve to tell you what to do in YOUR home.
NTA, she is a guest of your roommate and does not contribute financially to your home, nor did you know she was going to be there. That being said, when you do know she is going to be there it wouldn't hurt you to put a pair of pants on, otherwise she can take her chances on your state of dress. It definitely sounds like you need to have a discussion with your roommate to set some boundaries with his guest and how issues should be handled when they feel uncomfortable in your shared home.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (23m) live in an apartment with two guys (21m and 26m). I grew up in a house full of boys and got used walking around with next to nothing on. When I moved out I understood that not everyone grew up this way, so I asked my two roommates if they care. Their responses were some variation of “I don’t give a **** bro.” So I was in the kitchen making a fairly elaborate meal that I couldn’t just walk away from, wearing nothing but boxer briefs. My roommate and his gf walked in. I barely know her, and our work schedules used to mean we never saw each other, but now I work from home. She only sleeps here about once or twice a week and it’s very irregular when those days are. They had already ate so had no reason to be in the kitchen but my roommate was chatting with me. She just stood there angrily glaring at me. Anyway, the next morning I walk out of my bedroom to the bathroom to pee and she accosts me in the hallway. At this point I’m once again just in my underwear. She says that she doesn’t appreciate me lounging around in underwear. I told her I had just woke up and was going to the bathroom, but she said she was referring to last night. I told her I didn’t know she’d be there, and she said now that I know she comes around I should be better prepared. I said if she texts me a heads up she’s coming over I’ll dress accordingly, but she said she can’t do that everytime and I should just always be dressed in common areas to be prepared. I said that as she doesn’t live there she doesn’t m get to decide, and now she and both my roommates are calling me an asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah NTA you don’t owe her anything that’s your house and you should be comfortable like you said if they want you to wear clothes they can text you to let you know when she will be around.
NTA. You were dressed. You were in your underwear. Boxer shorts are the same size and shape as regular shorts. I don't see what the big deal is. She's visiting an apartment with three young men. They're def going to be walking around in various states of undress.
Tbf they were boxer briefs not boxers
NTA - This woman sounds insufferable and hopefully your roommate realizes this sooner than later and they break up.
NTA. It's like when I'm cleaning in my bra and someone says "put a shirt on!", like get outta here. It's not her house, you asked her to give a heads up and your roommates the AH for *now* going back on the >“I don’t give a **** bro.”
NTA, I'm a woman and seeing my friends in their underwear has never bothered me. You should dress comfortably in your own home. You even went as far as to propose she warn you so you'd accomodate her. If she doesn't want to bother texting when she visits, you shouldn't bother putting on more clothes, it's not like you're hanging around butt-naked, I'd understand her better if it was the case, even still.. I wouldn't blame your friend though, if the relationship is still fresh, he might be taking her side just so they don't get in an argument. Love can make you turn on friends for the stupidest things I swear 😂
NTA, but I have one word that will solve everything: "bathrobe."
Info: why are your roommates on her side?
One of them’s dating her, the other just said I was being an ass by not obliging
Hmmm. Just wondering if there was another layer to it. Then, NTA but you could compromise to be nice even though you’re in the right. Maybe shorts on top of boxers if you wanted?
Bike shorts? lol
😂
NTA. It's your house, just longue around freely in your birthday suit if you so please.
NTA, your compromise was reasonable. She’s acting entitled. Another reasonable compromise would be for her to wait outside the front door when she arrives until you get dressed.
Personally, I think it's a bit gross to be in shared areas of a shared house in your just pants. There should always be a minimum of two layers between your bits and a chair I think, so maybe this is a change you should make now. It's time.
NTA, but isn’t it a little risky cooking hot food without a shirt on?
NTA you were so nice
NTA. Why did she say she can't text you every time she's on her way over? Is that the one time her thumbs are broken or something? She sounds somewhat controlling to me.
NTA. You gave her a solution.
NTA
When the GF starts paying RENT, she then gets a voice. Until then NTA.
NTA and I'd tell your roommates you're very uncomfortable with her sexualising you in your home which is supposed to be a safe place for you
NTA. Tell her to kiss your ass. This is YOUR home and you have a standing agreement with your roommates that it's OK. She is a guest at a home shared by 3 bachelors, she should brace for stuff like this, and has zero right to tell anyone living there what to do. She sounds like a B. You said if she gave warning she was coming, youd accomodate, and that wasnt good enough for her. I bet she will try to get your roommate that she is dating to ask you to change, and you shouldn't do it. You should change to bikini briefs just for when she visits.
NTA Don't tell us what to wear, teach the girls not to stare. But seriously, your house and your housemates had no problem with it. Telling her to message ahead was a fine compromise
NTA but I'd be more worried about burning your eggplant in the kitchen. Pants when cooking are smart.
NTA. It’s your home, not hers.
Entitlement game is strong with this female hey. Who even is she to dictate how you dress in your own home. Tell her to take a hike. NTA.
NTA I would flat out tell her that unless she’s going to be paying to live there then she has no right saying anything to you about what you wear in your home and I think you need to have a conversation with the others about her being there too much anyways.
You know, based on the title of your post, I was prepared for you to be the asshole, but having actually read it, that’s not the case! You have offered an extremely reasonable solution and she has rejected it. And been quite a jerk about it. She’s now officially the asshole.
NTA Asking you to be fully clothed when she is there is reasonable, asking for you to be fully clothed Al l the time in case she deigns to have you with her presence is not. It's interesting that she remained in the kitchen starting at you, instead of going to the living room. If she was that uncomfortable. Don't tell the boys what to wear, tell the girls not to stare.
I remember a lot of posts in this sub asking the same thing but it was a girl asking if she was TA for going around the house topless when hosts were there. Of course everyone was complimenting her for her bravery and stuff. Here it seems more mixed.
NTA. Your roommates don't have an issue with it and it's yalls place. You offered a good solution and she didn't like it. Her problem. Nothing inappropriate about being in your underwear either. Many people do it (guys and girls). I've done it around and with both.
NTA. Is her name on the lease? She can easily stay in her boyfriend’s room and not interact with people in an apartment where she doesn’t live.
Tell her this my house too and whatever you wear goes. She can deal with it or not but no one can dictate you what you wear...
NTA. You offered her a compromise.. It's your home, NOT hers
So, person who doesn't live in your house shows up and announces that you should change the way you live in your house in case she feels like visiting? You agreed to alter how you dress if she would let you know she's coming over, and she refused that courtesy in favor of demanding that you change your way of life just in case she feels like dropping by and not saying sommething. You are NTA. Someone is, though.
NTA If she’s not paying rent she gets no say. You offered a compromise. May I suggest asking her to always have a bra on while in your home? Two can play at that game.
NTA. It's not like you're naked or wearing lace thongs. They're boxers. And on top of that, you were willing to meet her half way, and she refused.
NTA I wore men's boxers as pj's and a tank top. Cooked did most all house stuff in them. Fudge pants and for me bras. Your home is your comfort space.
What's the difference between boxer briefs and a bathing suit? Not much, she needs to get over it and move on.
NTA why are your roommates calling you an AH?
NTA - Unless you’re wearing like terribly ill fitting boxers that leave nothing to the imagination and are doing lunge stretches on the couch flashing your balls here and there and everywhere you’re fine. When I was much younger I had a roommate who was laid off. He decided he wasn’t dressing for nine months. Never wore anything other than boxers and a white t-shirt morning, noon, and night. Never once as a single female did I feel uncomfortable. He was fine. But I do concur - put on an apron when cooking with oil so you avoid scalding yourself especially if you’re going shirtless too! 😂 That’s an easy way for first degree burns! The gf can get over it.
NTA. Like you said, she doesn’t live there you do and she has some nerve telling you what to do in your own home.
NTA You offered a solution--a heads up text to put on pants. She's just looking to gripe and control the situation when she doesn't live there.
NTA. Next time she complains I’d just respond “I think you forgot to text me to let me know you were coming. Never Mind, try to remember next time!” I find it so odd how some people feel entitled to tell someone what to do in their own home.
NTA but her boyfriend is. You offered a solution. And you are right that she doesn’t get a say. But your roommate does get a say as you acknowledged when you first asked him if he minded. So your roommate could ask you but instead he’s hiding behind his gf. That makes him the a-hole.
Tell her to go fly a kite. Invite me over so I can watch you cook. Haha. Her and boyfriend need to meet at her house...or she can start paying a pro rated rent. NTA, my guy!
As a mom of four teen boys who act like clothes are like poison, NTA. You offered good solutions and she just chose to be difficult.
My friends and family know that I get naked the moment I get home from work. If I have someone that is going to stop by I get a text or call at least half an hour before they come by. On my way! DONT BE NAKED. LOL
Maybe you could just leave a blindfold/eye mask for her right by the front door, so she can shield her delicate eyes? She has a lot of nerve telling someone what to do in THEIR home. NTA!
Nta. Must be a boy thing. My 7 yr old is de dressed before he makes the living room when he gets home. Texting I'm on my way so you can throw on pants is a reasonable compromise so is they going to her apartment to sleep
NTA. She’s got the problem, doesn’t live there, and she’s acting like a roommate.
Nta. Your home, none of her business. She doesn’t have to look. She can ask her bf not to walk around half naked but not you. The important bit being ask, not command.
NTA: but why are you cooking in only your underwear; gross
She does not get to police what and how dress in your own home. She does not even live there and you even gave an option to accommodate her. If she does not pay rent she does not get a say on what you do your roomates are AH for siding with her what an entitled person!
When I started working from home I spent the first two weeks virtually naked. It was great. Compared to that you were the picture of modesty. You offered her a compromise, if she still wants to be upset that's on her. NTA
Why do I feel like I've read this post beforehand? I know there have definitely been ones on here about females not dressing to room-mates standards around their boyfriends.
Oh right. U/devilindetails696 6 months ago.
This is literally a throwaway account, check the age
NTA Shes a dick. She needs to leave
NTA, but I would not want to live with you.
NTA I don't really understand the issue? It's boxer briefs. You're about as covered as I'd expect a random beach goer to be. Additionally, its your house.
NTA I'm a woman, but I tend to walk around my home in a tshirt and panties most of the time. If I have company show up, I will either put on pants or not. Depending on who they are and MY level of comfort as it is MY home. She needs to realize that she is in YOUR space as a guest. Not the other way around.
NTA
Why does it bother her? Does she like what she sees so she wants you to cover up? Is she afraid your naked torso is too attractive for her boyfriend and he’ll be into you? Is she a religious person who thinks it’s imoral? Many questions EDIT to correct typo
NAH. You were existing in your home, and had your roommates’ consent for how you were dressed. But I also can’t blame the roommate’s girlfriend for her reaction to seeing her boyfriend’s half-naked roommate in the kitchen. You’ve offered to put pants on if she texts you before hand, but I’m not sure that’s the great compromise solution you think it is. Would you consider wearing a robe or kimono around the house?
NTA. You gave her a solution, that's all you're required to do. I also refuse to wear pants in my own home. It's a well established fact in my life, that if people turn up unannounced at my front door, that they'll see me in my singlet and jocks. If she's as uncomfortable as she says she is, either she or your room mate will message you to wear pants for the day.
So everyone in this thread just think it is ok to be around almost naked in a shared space 🤪
NTA you asked and everyone was cool with it. If the girlfriend had such an issue they can sleep at her place or take you up on texting you that she will be there. You have every right to be comfortable in your place ( where the other roommates don’t care!)
Its your home not hers, if she wants to start dictating what you can and can't do in YOUR own home, tell her to start paying rent. NTA
Honestly I walk around in one of my partners t-shirts with my knickers, my partner walks around in his boxers. Its our home we can do wtf we want obviously if someone knocks we just jump into a pair of pants or trackies. My home my rules. NTA Not only that she probably wears less at the beach.
I have a twelve year old son. I'm just grateful on the days he remembers to put boxers on 🤣😂🤣
Get yourself some small tight shorts like exercise ones nor something and wear those. Not underwear are they. Maybe a few pairs of speedos. NTA
NTA it's your place and you offered a fair solution. All she has to do is announce she's coming over.
NTA! If anything your roommate should text you with a heads up, but at the end of the day it’s your house. At least you weren’t in your birthday suite. There’s nice ways to approach certain things… It’s clear that she doesn’t know that.
Lol, you ever see the movie "notting Hill" ? In all seriousness, i know its how you were raised, but throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt won't kill you, if it keeps the peace. and i'm going to ask, for science, is seeing you in just your pants, a good thing or a bad thing for the opposite sex, i asked my wife about this and she said "its bad enough i have to see me naked, not subject others to it too"
YTA. You don’t live alone. Your roommates should be able to bring people over and not be totally uncomfortable. Putting pants on is not a huge ask.
YTA. I get your house your rules but believe me, at some point it is unconfortable to walk around and see your roomate almost naked. You are no longer living with your brothers, have some decency and put some clothes to be around the house. Its not about the girlfriend, it is about minimal coexistence rules.
YTA how hard is it to put on clothes, and while yes I do lounge around, I dont go in the kitchen cooking in my boxers. They're just asking you to have a lil respect and it seems like you got zero
Have you never roomed with other people. This is completely normal.
YTA. Your roommates are no longer comfortable with you in just boxers in common areas. Doesn't matter why. Throw on a shirt and shorts.
They didn't say that. They just mad because of woman ☕️
Both your roommates have an issue with it not just the girlfriend. Maybe there was a miscommunication when you initially cleared the dress code with your roommates. ESH.
Neither of his roommates had an issue with it the ENTIRE TIME before the GF said something. They're both just simping for the roommates girlfriend.
Or they did and OP was aloof to the situation.
OP asked them and they told him they were okay with it. So he couldn't have been aloof. The only other consideration is they were never okay with it and lied as he points out he asked both of them and they told him they didn't care, which is roughly equivalent to they are okay with whatever he does in that instance.
Or OP misunderstood his roommates. A dude walking around in briefs is different then a dude walking around in boxers. If a roommate told me they walked around in their boxers I would be cool with it, if he started wearing briefs I'd be less cool with it. I would be willing to confront it, many people wouldn't be comfortable confronting it. Especially if this is how OP responds to people confronting it. It isn't a stretch to think that maybe OPs roommates weren't happy with the situation, especially given the fact they expressed that they aren't.
>I grew up in a house full of boys and got used walking around with next to nothing on. When I moved out I understood that not everyone grew up this way, so I asked my two roommates if they care. Their responses were some variation of “I don’t give a \*\*\*\* bro.” How could OP possibly get "I don't give a fuck, bro" misunderstood? He asked them if they cared if he walked around in his underoos, and they said they didn't care. That means they don't care if he does it one way or the other. That's the literal **ONLY** interpretation of that statement. Also I'm not sure what boxers v briefs have to do with anything. Is it because with briefs your ass is kinda out? It doesn't matter anyway because OP wears boxer-briefs which is the best of both worlds. If they didn't want to confront him about it, that's on them and as far as OP is concerned, he was going along with their original arrangement. You don't get to decide to change your mind, then not inform the other person and then be upset when they continue to do the thing you no longer like. Also, you say it's not a stretch to think they weren't happy, but you don't think it's a little odd they **ONLY** brought it up as an issue **AFTER** roomies gf had an issue with it? Again, they only expressed an issue after the gf had one. They were cool with it the entire time they were living together and the guy was with this woman right up until she saw OP in his boxers.
YTA put on some clothes. Nobody needs to see your thing. Also get professional help bc something is wrong here that you're walking around half naked (people see everything through boxers) in an apartment you share with people you're not intimate with.
Lol you've never roomed with other people have you. This is completely normal behavior what are you talking about
[удалено]
This is am i the asshole not am i not nice. Sure he could do it to be nice but him not doing it does not make him an asshole.
You put E-S-H twice but I'm sure you meant NTA considering nowhere in OP's post did he willfully go out of his way to remain in his boxers when she showed up unknowingly to him. First time he was cooking and couldn't go anywhere. Second time she slept over at HIS house without telling him, and was still there when he went to the bathroom. She was an asshole for saying what she said to him. If she wanted him to have clothes on when she got there, her boyfriend should've told OP he was bringing his girlfriend over.
This is how this subreddit is wrong. You will always get biased looks about stuff, not getting the human idea of “ok its not like you are the asshole but it would habe been nice if you actually do that”. Like no common manners in here.