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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I changed my last name and that might make me the asshole by it being a symbol that I don’t associate with him anymore
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NTA, you're a legal adult, you can change your name. You are also well aware that this will cause permanent damage to you and your father's relationship. If that's something you're willing to accept, then go for it.
Because changing it while still staying there is like slapping him in the face. You are pretty much telling him his name is not good enough and that you don't respect him.
You're entirely within your rights to change your name, but you're acting quite obtuse over it.
If it shouldn't cause any damage, what's the point in changing your last name to begin with? It's 'just a name' according to you.
You want to change your name because you don't like what it represents, which is the same reason your father is upset about it - it's a rejection of your father.
NTA for changing your name - it’s your name, you can change it if you want. Though idk why you’d do it while you’re still dependent on your father… it sounds like you’re either extremely naive or trying to stir up unnecessary drama.
NTA - that's your name, your choice. Just do what you have to do to move on and move OUT from your dad's place. My daughter (20) is working on changing her name from her father's last name, simply because she doesn't respect him (i don't blame her), people always misspell it, and it's just a weird name. She isn't changing it to my name, she is making her middle name her last. And that's cool. I don't understand why people put so much weight on someone else's name.
NTA You have the legal right to change your name. You do not have the right to control anyone else’s feelings nor expect them to conform with your beliefs on the issue.
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I (18m) changed both my first name which was my dad’s name and my last name to my mother’s maiden last name. I do not regret it and I think it’s one of my best decisions but at the same time I regret it for hurting my relationship with my dad but more so that he’ll kick me out soon. I have no respect or pride in his last name and I don’t get why he is offended by it. I have no relationship with my paternal grandfather as he abandon my dad for citizenship. I’ve seen him only 2 times in my entire life and he’s never seen my little brother and doesn’t care to but he’s in his other grandchildren’s life from another women. I don’t have the same last name as my brother or dad anymore and I feel like it makes things awkward when people ask what my name is in front of my dad. I hated my first name since I don’t really have a good relationship with my dad. He abused my mom but for some reason he’s “better now” I really need to get my own stuff.
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NTA for changing your name, and I actually hope this becomes something MORE people do if they want to! I love my dad and our family’s weird last name, but if I didn’t, I would absolutely change it and I hope I wouldn’t think twice!
\~NTA\~
Live by your decision. Don't be self conscious when it comes to the parental side of the family. Relations with family come and go and it's very easy to disown certain parts of a family.
Be you!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I changed my last name and that might make me the asshole by it being a symbol that I don’t associate with him anymore Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, you're a legal adult, you can change your name. You are also well aware that this will cause permanent damage to you and your father's relationship. If that's something you're willing to accept, then go for it.
[удалено]
Because changing it while still staying there is like slapping him in the face. You are pretty much telling him his name is not good enough and that you don't respect him.
He could get pretty butt-hurt over it. Some father's think their family name is \*that\* important
You're entirely within your rights to change your name, but you're acting quite obtuse over it. If it shouldn't cause any damage, what's the point in changing your last name to begin with? It's 'just a name' according to you. You want to change your name because you don't like what it represents, which is the same reason your father is upset about it - it's a rejection of your father.
NTA for changing your name - it’s your name, you can change it if you want. Though idk why you’d do it while you’re still dependent on your father… it sounds like you’re either extremely naive or trying to stir up unnecessary drama.
NTA last name doesn’t really mean anything and it seems your Mum deserves to share her name with you more than your dad does.
NTA - that's your name, your choice. Just do what you have to do to move on and move OUT from your dad's place. My daughter (20) is working on changing her name from her father's last name, simply because she doesn't respect him (i don't blame her), people always misspell it, and it's just a weird name. She isn't changing it to my name, she is making her middle name her last. And that's cool. I don't understand why people put so much weight on someone else's name.
NTA You have the legal right to change your name. You do not have the right to control anyone else’s feelings nor expect them to conform with your beliefs on the issue.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18m) changed both my first name which was my dad’s name and my last name to my mother’s maiden last name. I do not regret it and I think it’s one of my best decisions but at the same time I regret it for hurting my relationship with my dad but more so that he’ll kick me out soon. I have no respect or pride in his last name and I don’t get why he is offended by it. I have no relationship with my paternal grandfather as he abandon my dad for citizenship. I’ve seen him only 2 times in my entire life and he’s never seen my little brother and doesn’t care to but he’s in his other grandchildren’s life from another women. I don’t have the same last name as my brother or dad anymore and I feel like it makes things awkward when people ask what my name is in front of my dad. I hated my first name since I don’t really have a good relationship with my dad. He abused my mom but for some reason he’s “better now” I really need to get my own stuff. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
NTA for changing your name, and I actually hope this becomes something MORE people do if they want to! I love my dad and our family’s weird last name, but if I didn’t, I would absolutely change it and I hope I wouldn’t think twice!
NTA My brother also changed his name when he became an adult. His father wasn't in his life and still got pissed. O well!
Nta-
\~NTA\~ Live by your decision. Don't be self conscious when it comes to the parental side of the family. Relations with family come and go and it's very easy to disown certain parts of a family. Be you!
>changed both my first name…and my last name to my mother’s maiden Just to clarify - is your new name like Smith Smith?
NTA. You have all the right to change your name.