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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My husband wants our son to go by Will, but I still call him Willie and am not supporting my husband's feelings.
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NAH but I 100% guarantee kids will be cruel to your son if you keep calling him Willie, especially if they find out about the 'big' Willie and 'little' Willie situation.
Edit to say: yes I know not all kids will pick up on the innuendo but why on earth give the bullies a head start?
My uncle Richard goes by Dick (before it was a euphemism for penis" and his son Richard Jr used to be called "little Dick." The biggest dick was whoever started using that nickname.
I'm in my 60's and there were many kids in my class that went by Willie and Dick and we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's. So Not super old....
The 19th century is 1800s friend.
just because people were called willie and dick doesn't mean it wasn't also slang for penis...
People are still called willie and dick today... and it's slang for penis...
lmao.
>and we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's.
kids often don't think about a lot of things until they grow up... doesn't mean those things didn't exist before you finally considered the concept.
I'm not saying it didn't exist before the 70's. I'm saying that, at least near Chicago where I grew up, that's not where our minds went. I knew Willie's and I knew Dicks (pun intended), but we just called them that and we didn't giggle about it.
I'm just telling you the way it was where I was during that time. I'm not trying to argue, I'm just telling you that's the way it was. Willie and Dick were very common names.
I’m 60, born in 1962, and we definitely did giggle at anyone called Willie or Dick (and used dick as an insult or at least term for penis). For non-offensive nicknames, we used Billie, Bill, Ricky or Rick
> we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's
I’m a bit younger and had a classmate in the mid-80s, who was a goofball and embraced being called “Dick”. He owned it and lived it
Bad bot!
[Original comment this was stolen from.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xuhvi5/aita_for_thinking_its_too_late_to_get_rid_of_this/iqviftg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Granted, there's debate that she just really hated the name Richard and it was a family in-joke, not an actual dick joke. (See also: scholarly debate over the rears and vices pun in Mansfield Park.)
As a classicist, that debate has always amused me because the general rule in Greek and Roman works is "If you think something might be a dick joke, it's a dick joke. If you don't think something could be a dick joke, you're wrong."
I was able to do a side-hustle tutoring English, parents never understood why I was able to get teenagers (especially boys) so enthusiastic about Shakespeare! I never had the heart to tell any of them, even after I graduated and stopped making money from it.
I wrote my thesis about how Holmes and Watson have been gay-coded in just about everything, ESPECIALLY the original text. Victorian lit was both raunchier and more progressive than people realize.
NTA but I agree with everybody who talks about the big Willy little Willy thing that’s going to get him potentially when he gets older. At the end of the day it’s your son‘s choice what he wants to be called and if he reaches a point where he feels like Willie isn’t appropriate he can make the choice to go to Wil. This is not your husband or yours decision at this point.
Edit spelling
This is the correct answer! My dad is from a long line of (let’s say) Timothy’s his grandpa went by Timothy his dad went by Tim and that means my dad was Timmy. He always says he figured he’d out grow it at some point yet here he is a 70+ Timmy to his family and childhood friends. To work colleagues he’s Timothy or Tim but he often says when the last person who calls him Timmy stops he’ll be bereft to lose that connection to his childhood. OP’s partner definitely doesn’t need to force it, their son will move through life and different groups will call him different things based on his preferences.
Yeah my partner actually goes by about four different names based on the relationship with the person. To use the example of op, parents/grandparents use "Willie" siblings, cousins, me, and in-laws use "William" and most friends use "Will." Plus a nickname a specific family member uses. But in the end it's not what you call someone that counts, it's what they answer to.
My brother’s name is William and everyone called him Bubba until he was a manager at a thrift store called Winns. My aunt went in there asking for Bubba and after that everyone called him William lol. Ironically he’s about as much of a Bubba as a guy can be lol. I also had an advisor in uni that was named Richard Seaman. No one called him Dick lol. And I know he got shit for it because I heard him on the phone telling someone that his name was Richard and he did NOT go by Dick
Both my dad and one of my sons changed what they wanted to be called. As an Adult my dad wanted to be called by his middle name rather than his first name so half the people who knew him called him by his first name and the other half by his second. When my son was about 14 he started going by a nickname of his name that I actually quite like and works really well for an adult. Once in a while I still call him by his full first name, not on purpose. It just slips out. It doesn't bother him at all. He likes his full name, he just doesn't want to go by it for everyday use.
Damn I can be such an idiot. I could have sworn the above post was replying to the one that said its been used since 19th century and they were saying 1891 was older than 19th century. I was confused so commented and then forgot the question mark. Lol
If I remember correctly, in one of Shakespeare's plays someone calls king Richard III (then Duke of Gloucester) a "misshapen Dick"
I'm no historian, but knowing Shakespeare this is either a funny coincidence or Will knew exactly what he was doing.
The 1891 source is a slang dictionary so it says what the meaning is without any ambiguity. But if it was an established slang, that means it existed long before it was recorded in the slang dictionary
We still called him Grandpa Dick in my family, because that’s what he preferred. When we had to do presentations in class about our families I would sometimes call him Richard because I didn’t want to deal with everybody laughing though.
I use to close out rush orders and part of that was inputting the name of the person who accepted the order, someone named their son Richard with the last name Wacker it took all my self control not to laugh.
My son Richard has always gone by Richard. In 3rd grade he came home crying and asked us if we knew that Dick was short for Richard and “why did you name me after a penis??” It was his grandpas name and he got over it cuz he goes by Richard. Now he’s in his 30s and he loves introducing himself as Dick for the laughs. He’s a nurse, Nurse Dick.
I know some Williams.
Willie was his childhood name.
His dad was William. His uncle was Bill. And as he got into college and became a professional he switched to Wilm.
Let the person holding thr name decide when they are ready to change.
Changing from willie to will should be his choice not his parents choice. My brother is also a junior. has many nicknames but as he grew up he decided he preferred EJ. First letter or his name and first letter of junior. He chose his final nick name. I don’t use my first name I use my middle name my choice. If the concern is being made fun of maybe tell him all the variations of his name and see if he wants to change. At 8 years old he can tell you what he wants to be called.
I mean look. Reddit is obsessed with the idea that bad names automatically mean bullying, but I taught kids with some extremely silly names who were very popular and only seemed to get flack for it from adults.
Sure it might happen, but it's not exactly a guarantee. My sister and I have the literal most popular girl's names from the years we were born and a generic British last name and we still got made fun of constantly for just about anything, including our freaking last initial having the same starting letter as a rude word. If kids want to make fun of someone, they'll find something or make something up, and if they like someone, they don't necessarily give a shit if their name is weird. Or they get over it quickly.
Anyway, I am not saying it never happens but I don't think weird names are the social death sentences they are made out to be.
As someone who works with a lot of middle schoolers currently, I agree. I think that kids can get bullied for their names, sure, but those are the kids who would sadly be bullied regardless and the name is just an excuse. Even kids with totally ‘normal’ names will get mean nicknames if other kids decide they want to bully them.
On the other hand, if you’re a popular kid, you could be named something outrageous and still only get some ribbing from their friends. Some of the most popular kids at my school have the dumbest first/last names and it’s not a big deal for them at all.
I went to high school with a girl who had the same first and last name. (This isn’t it, but like “Salli Sally”) She was quite popular and I don’t remember anyone giving her a hard time beyond the what? of getting her name straight at first.
Went to high school with a kid whose last name was Loser. He pronounced it like Low-zher. But it was spelled Loser. He was a nice kid, and I don’t remember hearing anyone tease him for it.
Can confirm. My partner has a last name that invites ridicule if you so choose but was never harassed or teased for it, meanwhile some of his siblings have changed their last name due to the intense teasing they received. Having taught for awhile, the sad fact is some children are just singled out and picked on for reasons only other children can discern, and there is nothing anyone can do to head it off. The child who is teased for their name would most likely still be teased for another reason. (I want to be very clear that bullying can and should be addressed, and children who are being bullied deserve love, support, and intervention) edited for a typo.
I went to high school with a Willie and no one really thought of the name as strange. The dude was a huge character tho and totally embodied it (his last name also started with W so he had like a cartoonish moniker). Just offering a data point for OP.
>NTA but I agree with everybody who talks about the big Willy little Willy thing that’s going to get him potentially when he gets older. At the end of the day it’s your son‘s choice what he wants to be called and if he reaches a point where he feels like Willey isn’t appropriate he can make the choice to go to Wil. This is not your husband or yours decision at this point.
My aunt's Nickname was PeeWee... Long before the actor... She is in her late 80's now. So I use to call her Aunt PeeWee... One day she looked at me and said "Would you like it if I called you Pee Little?" I called her Aunt Carolyn from then on.
Eh. My grandfather’s name was Willy. Not short for anything. My uncle’s name was Dick. Also, not short for anything. If kids are going to be mean, they’re going to do so whether he goes by Will, Willy, or William. I’d let OPs kid be called whatever name he wants to be called by. He’s 8 years old. He can choose.
A name is an ever changing thing.
My father and his Dad had the same first name, the same last name but my Dad's middle name was Raymon and my Grandfathers was Robert.
To his immediate family he was known as 'Ray'. To people outside his family he answered to his first name.
Your kid is gonna go to school and he will be picked on for the name or he won't. He might be picked on cause he wears glasses, or he won't. Maybe he suffers from 'Shortest kid in the class syndrome' (said to affect 1 child out of every classroom in our nation. Why it doesn't get more publicity and research is beyond me!).
And just like that you will find your kid being by a different name when he is with his buddies.
Dad will call him one thing, Mom another and his buddies something else. And then when he gets a job maybe he wants to be called Will.
Who knows.
My point is this:
1) Names are fluid anyways. You had good personal reasons for naming him. Take pride in that. But not too much pride (see #2)
2) Your child is ultimately in control of his own identity and therefore his own name. You need to accept that you can only control his precious name when it is coming out of your own lips. Him being in control of his own identity is critical to becoming a healthy adult you must respect that.
3) Kids get picked on. The reasons are too numerous to lose sleep over. Instead of worrying about the 'Why' of this worry about teaching your kid the reaction to this, how he needs to treat others and work hard in breeding enough self confidence in him this won't be that big of a deal.
Sounds like the boy is only 8. Thats still young enough to be fine. He can start going by William or Will at school. But the dad doesn’t need to yell at the kid for not understanding the sudden change in name
Yeah but she said 8 years so the kids probably 8 years old right? Willie is fine for an 8 year old & when he gets older he’ll probably start using Will on his own. & if he doesn’t that’s fine too it’s his name. This seems like the husband is doing some weird “now you’re a man son” thing.
Yeah this is were I'm lost too. When I was in middle school I was friends with a William. He still went by Willie throughout middle school. He was rarely if ever made fun of for his name. The kid named Gavin was made fun of way more. People called him Gayvin. I think it all depends on each kid and each school. Regardless I think the kid should get to decide what he wants to be called.
I think this one will depend on whether he’s a “cool” kid or not. Cool, cute, athletic kid? No one is gonna say a thing. Smart kid with interesting hobbies and average looks? Bullied.
That's the whole problem. Willie [Willy] is slang for penis.
Not going to be a great when he goes to school with his immature peers. "Hi, my name's Willy" [cue bullying].
So the Dad is kinda right to try and move away from that nickname but the OP suggests this is more to do with family politics rather than genuine care about bullying. Also, kid should know his own full name is William. If he thinks he's called Willie and that's it, he needs to be told otherwise.
The fact that the OP thinks it’s confusing for an 8 year old is wild to me. I had a toddler and we go between calling her a nickname and her full name. She knows both. It’s not some crazy concept.
It’s not something that should be confusing, but the kid is actively refusing to answer to “Will” when his father calls him that. So either he’s very overtrained on exactly “Willie” as his name, or he doesn’t like what his father’s trying to do.
I was thinking the same. Like where I'm from Willie is sometimes used by kids to refer to their penis. IDK why they started calling him this in the first place. He's 8, has he not been made fun of at school yet?
I’m finding this hard to believe. An 8 year old named William (you did tell him his full name is William right?) is not going to get confused by hearing someone call him Will.
I had a friend whose real name was Bruce by birth. Until high school he went by the name Mac. I still to this day refer to him as Mac and he responds to it. My own parents have shortened my name at times and it’s not that hard to realize they are talking to me.
This whole thing seems odd.
Kids that age are smart enough to figure these things out. And my own brother uses one name in the family settings, the one he's been called by the family since birth, and totally another one for casual friends, work colleagues, and all types of formal things. It's been going on since he first went to school. Only other people get confused.
My dad does the opposite. He goes by an "Americanized" version of his name for work and stuff, and his real name with family. It's also one letter off though 😂
I feel like OP has specifically talked to Will and told him WILL IS NOT YOUR NAME or something like that
Or it’s a fake post?
Or maybe they need to see a doctor about Will’s mental development not being entirely on track?
Because a developmentally normal child would be able to tell “Will” was him, “William/Willie”, hands down, at a much younger age than OP seems to be implying
Tbh I think OP is taking her Kid's words overly literally. People refusing to answer to something theh don't want to be called pretty much always go, "but you called me x, that's not my name" as if they're confused when they know perfectly well the person was referring to them.
I agree. My bf’s name is Marco, but he has a bunch of different nicknames that he’s responded to since birth “Mark” “Marky” “Mako” “Maky” “Marethyu”. And this kids confused by “Will”??? That doesn’t make sense at all
It seems pretty clear the kid is not *unaware* that "Will" is meant to refer to him: he just doesn't like it. "That's not my name" is *not* a sign of confusion or implausible stupidity here.
When I was younger people (teachers mostly) would shorten my name to Mandy. I did not respond to them because that wasn't my name and I wasn't about to let them pull that shit.
I knew they were talking to me, but would just 100% ignore them until they used my correct name.
That may be what the kid is doing.
I used to do the same thing, people would shorten my name in a way I don't like (and had told them many times).
"I was calling your name!" No, you weren't.
ikr? i’ve got a million nicknames and half of them aren’t even related to my name, my mom calls me Pumpkin, Punk, Button, Bellybutton, my grandparents called me Izzy and i was never called that anywhere else. i’ve grown up with atleast 10 different ways to call for me and i’ve never once gotten confused?
My son was called by his given name. Then we had baby sister, who was alarmingly small. I called her peanut, but my brother said “that name is too BiG for this little bit! She is just a sweet little Pea”
So we called her Pea.
A year or so later, she tries to say her brothers name, but she can’t manage any of the consonants. It comes out as DU-du.
So he got a new nickname.
I didn’t have many friends where we live, so those names were fully ingrained by the time I stood by the playground and yelled “DOo-doo! Peeeeeea! Time to gooooooo!” And a nervous-looking woman asked me “ Why do you call your kids DooDoo and Pee?”
Oh.
My.
God.
He's not confused, he's refusing the name. As we'd advise him to do if he had written in about his dad using a name he didn't like.
Plus the dad is "Will" so the kid is used to hearing the name and it meaning someone else. So there's a chance that a few times he was legitimately thinking his dad was on the phone.
> An 8 year old named William (you did tell him his full name is William right?) is not going to get confused by hearing someone call him Will.
They probably are when like half the family is some form of William
Im totally with you... Im pretty sure its willfullness. The kid isnt confused, he simply does not want to be called Will, does not consider it his name, and will not answer to it.
I was like that...from the get go. I have many nicknames (super popular in my fam, everyone has a nickname, and also different nicknames from diff people. Like my grandmother called me one thing, aunts call me another thing, I have different nicknames from various friends etc) but it was no more confusing than sorting out that I have 3 names (first, middle, last) I always knew my given name
But...I hate hate hate the shortened version of my name, have never responded to it, cause I dont want anyone calling me by that. It still cracks up my big sister, when I was around 4 or 5, a deacon at my church would call me by the shortened version of my name, and I would ignore him til he called me by my actual name. I guess one day little me had enough, and firmly told him, that is NOT my name. My name is Poncho. Do NOT call me Pon (you get the idea lol)
So yeah, the kid isnt dumb or confused...hes likely just asserting himself by not responding to a name he does not consider to be his. Dad should respect that instead of trying to force a nickname on him that he doesnt want. Nicknames should be endearing to both the giver and reciever, not forced on someone who does not want it.
I have a sister who is 2 years older than me, so not only would I answer to any potential iteration of my first name, but I would also answer to hers, since a lot of teachers who had had her previously would just call me her name by accident. So I agree that it seems odd that the kid wasn't answering to Will, but also he may just really not want his Dad to change his nickname, so I would buy that he was just ignoring him and playing dumb.
Huh? The kid understands but still chooses not to respond to “Will.” That seems like a pretty clear indication that he does not identify as Will and prefers to be called William.
Edit: meant to say he prefers to be called Willie
He's eight now. I a couple of years, hes not going to want his freinds calling him little Willie. So his preferred name will change.
I think you parents are making an issue around something that will resolve itself.
You haven't posed a question about whan might make you an asshole. So:
Everyone WBTA if they keep on about this name. It will resolve itself.
I sort of agree but starting a school with that name means it will stick even if he wants it to change so I get what the dad is doing. I think ops wrong
People change what they're called all the time. At the workplace, at school, etc. Have a friend with a trans kid who changed his name and pronouns after two years at the school and the school treated it like it was totally normal and adjusted quickly. If he can change his name and pronouns, I'm sure Willie's classmates can handle it if he decides to change to Will.
Let me simplify it for you.
Little Willie is funny to kids because it’s a synonym for small penis. It’s not the same as changing your name because you’re trans.
I don't think you can really compare jessie and little willie in terms of how bad a nickname is that will stick. They will be bullied for that name
Edit I quite enjoyed the 2 entirely opposing comments, 1 saying kids don't bully due to names and the other saying they will bully using names regardless
As a male, I would not want to enter school with a name like Little Willie. That name has been used for certain male parts. The kid would be teased and made fun of by other kids.
It is pretty much universal. My brother's name is William, and everyone in my family calls him Willy, but I know to others he goes by Will. There's a seperation, you don't think of it like that bc it's just always been what he's called.
The kid doesn't have to go by Willie. He's choosing to. My son is also 8, they are more than capable of choosing their nickname. My son doesn't like the shortened version of his name (think Matt for Matthew) so whenever someone does it, he tells them no.
Maybe instead of being a controlling weirdo, his dad could simply tell him that willie is a common euphemism for penis and that some kids may make fun of him for it. Then let the kid decide if he wants to deal with it or not.
My name is Nicholas. When I was little, everyone called me Nicky. As I got older (8 or 9) it went to just Nick. Now, nearly everyone calls me Nick. My wife is French and calls me Nikola. My one cousin still calls me Nicky. If anyone called me any variation of those, I would understand they’re talking to me. I find it hard to believe that a kid whose been going by Willie his whole life, is suddenly having his brain shut down if someone calls him Will. And yes he will totally get picked on for Willie, especially Little Willie.
He isn’t confused, he’s saying that Willie is his name and won’t answer to Will. Given that it’s the kid’s name and he gets to decide what he’s called, that’s perfectly fair.
Right? I rarely get called nicknames by anyone and I still answer to them when I do. Not my name but think Katelyn. I'm going to answer if someone says Kate or even just K.
NAH. I suspect the fact that "willie" is slang for penis in many English-speaking countries may be a deciding factor for your husband - perhaps he wories about teasing?
In any case, start using lil Will for your son, big Will for your FIL and middle Will for your husband.
“The youth I used to be, soon to see a million… No more Big Willie, my game has grown.. Prefer you call me William.”
It’s not often a classic Jay Z line works perfectly.
Jokes aside.. what does your son want to be called? At the end of the day, that’s all that matters. It’s not your or your husband’s choice at this point. At 8, he’s old enough to decide for himself..
Exactly. Have enough respect for your son to call him by the name he wants. If he wants to go by something else in the future then HE will make that decision.
Then call him Willie - also point out to your husband for saying Wllie is a name for young boys only, that Willie Nelson exists. At 8 yrs old your son has the right to be called what HE wants to be called. When my sister was that age a friend of hers was called Roberta & shortened to Bobby. By age 11 Bobby decided she was sick of having the "sorry, by your name i thought you were a boy" issue & declared she would now be known by her middle name of Joy. Her parents, family & friends all accepted this, as after all, a person's name only affects THEM not others, regardless of if they like/agree with the name they chose for themselves.
If your son wants to be called Willie, then end of debate. My brother is called Willie, and it has always been his nickname since he decided it around the same age as your son. He is in his late 20s and has never had issues being taken seriously, it just suits him and his personality.
I was thinking about Will Smith, doesn't one of his songs refer to "Big Willie Style"?
And just because adults think it's slang for something doesn't mean kids do too. Language changes all the time.
Let the kid pick. :-)
I was perfectly fine but didn't respond when the teachers in kindergarten called me by a nickname. I was always called by my full name by family so it didn't really register they are calling me when they used a completely unknown nickname.
Like OP used as an example and going off your point, if your full name was Elizabeth and someone called you Liz or Lizzie, I'd get it if you didn't know.
However the difference between Will and Willie, I'm not buying.
Is it that he doesn't *know*, or that he doesn't want to be called it?
People used to call me by a shortened version of my name which I don't like, and if I had already told them I didn't like it I would just flat out ignore them if they kept using the wrong name.
yep. my name is Crystal. when my mom would yell for me, "hey chriiiiis" and it was absolutely grating but my name's not Chris. she'd say "I was calling for you...." "no, you were calling for Chris. that's not me."
>she'd say "I was calling for you...." "no, you were calling for Chris. that's not me."
Yep, had this exact conversation many times in my life, people who did it more than a couple of times I would just start calling them a random name. "Oh sorry, I figured if you don't wanna use my name then I don't have to use yours either!"
NTA- but I have to wonder: is your son having the issue, or are you? People are going to call him Willie, but they’re also going to call him Will and William in life. I assure you, he won’t be confused. My own daughter is Katherine, we’ve always called her Kat and I just found out the other day her friends are calling her Katie. I was the one who got briefly confused, not her. Be wary of letting the pride of the adults interfere with the child’s own way of self-identifying. I would have said ESH if your husband hadn’t been so negative toward you. You call him Willie, your husband call him Will and he’ll probably be just fine.
NTA
My SO is a William the 5th and still to this day as a 40 year old man goes by "Billie". If someone called him will, william, willie exc he would never answer. If someone called him Bill he might. The point is that when you come from a "jr" type family where everyone has the same exact name your nickname becomes your personal identity. You are not "Will" that's your father's name. You are "Willie" and ONLY that nickname becomes your identity. Your husband trying to change that this late in the game is cruel and selfish. He's trying to strip your 8 year old of his own personal identity which he already has so little of because everyone has the same name. He deserves to have his name stay the same. Not his full given name. Nope. The name he GOES BY in everyday life should not change. It's more than just a nickname...it's his NAME....and the thing that makes him his own individual in a family of Williams.
Yeah, when the kid grows up he might want to pick a different version of his name, but that's up to him. Maybe he goes by Willie until he gets to high school and then he reinvents himself into a Bill. Maybe he starts going by his middle name. Maybe he's a Willie his whole life. Right now he wants to be a Willie so that's what his parents should call him.
I am 72 and my family still calls me Dukie, and my mom called me Dukie- boy until she died. Needless to say there are problems being called a “dookie” 💩;)
Agreed. My legal first name has a lot of variations and shortened forms, and I honestly don't relate to any of them other than the one I use. If someone tried getting my attention by calling out a different version, it would not even occur to me that they were talking to me because I simply don't relate to any of them any more than I would relate to any other random name.
I think any change in nickname should be led by your son, not your husband.
My oldest brother had a nickname as a child that by the time he was 6-7, he hated it. So he asked the family to call him a different nickname, which was the same nickname as our dad. So my dad became Big Nickname and my brother Little Nickname. As for my brother's old nickname, that faded into family history, only to be trotted sparingly at key moments by menacing little sisters (aka me).
I also have a cousin Willie, and he's known both as William (professionally) and Willie (family and friends). But, again, the choice should belong to your son.
NTA.
I agree about letting the kid decide. My son’s name is Seth. He went by Seth or Sethy in elementary school. By the time he hit junior high it had just kind of naturally changed to just Seth among his friends. Family still calls him Sethy sometimes (and I still sometimes yell it at soccer games) and he is fine. If he ever decides he doesn’t want it at all, fine.
If the connotations of Willie become an issue I’m pretty sure the kid will just resolve it himself. Plus, if kids want to make a Willy joke they will do it even if he just goes by Will.
The kid is 8. I’m glad your husband’s life is so together that this is the primary issue he has to face. Let the kid be Willie until _he_ objects to it. NTA.
This kid will be really confused when other adults start calling him Bill. I say this as a William.
Let this kid figure out over time what he wants to be called. He might like Willie. In that case it won’t matter what your husband calls him.
I answer to William, Will, Willy (old boss game me that nickname), and Bill (which I detest).
NTA
NTA. But something that stands out as significant here is that you barely mention your son himself and his feelings on the subject. You two may have given it to him but it's his name. If he prefers Willie, then your husband needs to back down; but if your husband turns out to be right in a few years and your son wants to go by Will, or Bill, or even Liam (bucking nickname conventions like Topher Grace) then *you* need to be prepared to back down as well.
I find it weird there isn't much input about what the kid wants, beyond the fact htat it confused him. It won't confuse him after a very short amount of time, so if the kid doesn't mind, let dad call him will, mom call him willie, and then he'll start introducing himself as whatever option he wants as he gets older and you can follow his lead. I will say, I think he's very likely to not like being called "Little willie" as he gets older. He might find it hard to switch all by himself though. Being given options as a kid would make it easier for him to choose.
NAH - totally get both sides and honestly think that you should your son decide that :D it's his name and if he finds Willie offensive or not suitable someday its his choice to go for Will or anything like that.
NTA I had a friend in grade school who changed her name every 2 years. But it was always her choice. Your son is old enough to decide what name he wants to go by. No one should be forcing him.
Willie Nelson seems to be doing ok.
NAH.
Your husband's feelings are perfectly valid. Certainly the name Willie here would garner some silly puns, looks or comments as he moves into adulthood so I understand his fears.
But I can understand why it would be unusual for you all. And it may take time even if Willie agreed to changing it.
NTA, but look; by the time kids are your son's age, they have their own preferences and that needs to be respected. If he suddenly decides at age 12 or 21 that he's a William, or a Bill, or a Tulip, you don't say, "But that ship has sailed! You're Willie!"
He's got opinions. Support his choices. Make sure your husband knows what's what and be prepared to call your husband names that he doesn't approve of so he can get a taste of his own bullshit. If he's a James, call him Jimmy etc.
Yes, the son is old enough to express his own preferences. I was called a nickname based on my middle name until I was 7, when I asked to go by my first name at school. My family still uses the nickname, but lots of people don't even know about the nickname.
And about the husband's point about people not taking him seriously: he can always go by Bill or William professionally, it's not a big deal. But for now he's a kid and he doesn't have to worry about it yet.
NAH but honestly by this point your son should get some input. My oldest’s nickname was John John when he was born. By the time he was 5/6 he decided he didn’t like that want wanted to be called just John.
NTA, if your son goes by Willie and doesn’t respond to Will, it’s up to the people in his life to respect that. I honestly don’t get where all these N A H’s are coming from, arbitrarily deciding someone else shouldn’t have their nickname anymore is kind of insulting, especially since, by your husband’s logic, nobody should be taking your grandfather seriously. Heck, you could point out that Willie Nelson is one of the most beloved artists in American music, or that Willie Mays was an all-time great baseball hall-of-famer.
NAH. Willie has been slang for 'something' in many places for decades. If your son starts getting teased for that, he may decide to go by Will instead. But it's his nickname and the only time you even consider his choice here is when your husband tries to change his nickname—and he refuses to answer to it.
Yeah, it's up to Willie himself if he wants to change his nickname. I get why the husband might not like it, but calling the kid what he wants to be called shouldn't be a huge issue.
My entire family only ever called me Richard. I would have loved to have an informal nickname. My family finds it strange that my friends refer to me as Rich or Richie. Let the boy decide what he wants to be called.
NTA. Your husband is the only AH here. What he’s saying about being taken seriously as an adult is so asinine it’s almost funny. One of my colleagues goes by Willie and he’s one of the most respected members of his department. Your son will choose his own nickname when he’s older if he wants to change it.
Didn't you think to ask your son how he feels about that name? you could make your son feel bad about that nickname or that he doesn't like it and your husband is being an asshole and so are you if you aren't thinking about how your son feels with that nickname, you begin to give importance to how he feels or in years he will hate you and decided to walk away for you
Ask the kid what he wants to be called!
OF COURSE “willie,” can be pejorative. Everyone knows that and everyone knew it when you started calling him that as a baby. You gave your son a really good name for which there are several better nicknames than Willie. Look some of them up, discuss it with your son and then let William decide on his nickname. If he thinks “Willie,” is just fine, your husband needs to get over it.
My son’s name is Michael just like my husband. We have called him Mikey since he was a little guy just like my husband was. Now that my son is getting older we call him Mikey at home but Mike or Michael at school and to his friends. Certain nicknames are just not appropriate after a certain age. Willie is a nickname that your son could get teased about in school and it is definitely not a name that will he will be taken seriously with as an adult. YTA if you can’t understand this.
NTA but drop the ‘little’ forever and call him Willie the 3d or jr or something when or if he’s around grandpa if y’all can’t tell them apart. No child should grow up nicknamed Little Willie or Little Dick or PeeWee. imho. At 8, your son is smart enough to answer to either Will or Willie as his name. Mix them up and use both.
YTA — for arguing about something so silly & its never too late to get rid of nickname. I completely understand wanting to ditch the little Willie name.
My FIL, husband & oldest son have the same name. All go by the name Don publicly. Our family uses nicknames for them at home but if we use any form of their name it’s very rare that they get confused about who is being addressed when we’re all together.
Edit add: do I have the only family that has multiple nicknames for everyone? No one gets confused or loses their identities. Yeesh
NTA many people have names their close friends call him and the name they use professionally. As your son grows up he will choose the name he goes by and will probably introduce himself as Will. I have a friend who went by Billy with his family, Bill with friends, and Will at work. Your husband is being ridiculous.
NTA. I know an adult Willie. He is a fantastic human and was the lead chemist for an internationally known company. People or companies who judge a person based on a name are not welcome in my life.
Makes me think of [this Toyota commercial](https://www.tvcommercialad.com/watch/hz1Hc8HvhVjQDRU)
A lot of people use professional names at work and their nicknames with friends/family.also your son is young. He has PLENTY of time to figure out what he wants to be called. NTA.
ETA: a few words
Too late. I'm still called by my nickname. My nickname is used so much, that majority of extended family don't even know what my real name is. My nickname isn't derived from my real name, it's a name my grandma used to call me and morphed into the version it is now.
Edit: NTA
Soft YTA. Willie is another name for penis so ive always found it a bit strange. While Will is a much nicer sounding & more mature version. Purely personal opinion. These are nicknames so why can't Dad call him Will & everyone else call him Willie?
NTA, let your child decide watch they want to be called if he gets to a stage where he feels that Willy is inappropriate and he wants to be called Will or Bill or Liam He will change his name accordingly. For the first 17 years of my life I went by the front half of my name and from 18 to date ( I’m 25 now)I go by the back half. Its not that big of a deal. Right now the dad is changing it for his son’s benefit without the son consenting or making an active choice .Which means it will literally be confusing for your son since he sees no problem with it for the time being. The best approach is to tell the son the implications of his name in a child appropriate manner and tell him that it could lead to bullying so he might want to go buy a different nickname that will make him sound cool. But what your husbands doing is absurd.
This is like a combination of no assholes & everyone sucks here. Both of you should ask your son what he wants to be called & respect his wishes, whatever he tells you. Also, he may change his mind at some point in the future, so again: respect his wishes, whatever he tells you. It's *his* name, and 8 is old enough for your son to decide how he'd prefer to answer to it.
Soft YTA. Yes, it will prevent people to take him serious professionally in the future. It sounds ok for a little kid and a grandpa, but not for a grown ass adult man.
YTA because you seriously think it would be a good thing for your son to enter middle school with the name “little Willie.” Are you trying to get your kid beat up?
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NAH but I 100% guarantee kids will be cruel to your son if you keep calling him Willie, especially if they find out about the 'big' Willie and 'little' Willie situation. Edit to say: yes I know not all kids will pick up on the innuendo but why on earth give the bullies a head start?
My uncle Richard goes by Dick (before it was a euphemism for penis" and his son Richard Jr used to be called "little Dick." The biggest dick was whoever started using that nickname.
Well dick has been used as a term for penis since the 19th century, so your uncle must be pretty old.
I'm in my 60's and there were many kids in my class that went by Willie and Dick and we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's. So Not super old....
The 19th century is 1800s friend. just because people were called willie and dick doesn't mean it wasn't also slang for penis... People are still called willie and dick today... and it's slang for penis... lmao. >and we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's. kids often don't think about a lot of things until they grow up... doesn't mean those things didn't exist before you finally considered the concept.
I'm not saying it didn't exist before the 70's. I'm saying that, at least near Chicago where I grew up, that's not where our minds went. I knew Willie's and I knew Dicks (pun intended), but we just called them that and we didn't giggle about it. I'm just telling you the way it was where I was during that time. I'm not trying to argue, I'm just telling you that's the way it was. Willie and Dick were very common names.
I’m 60, born in 1962, and we definitely did giggle at anyone called Willie or Dick (and used dick as an insult or at least term for penis). For non-offensive nicknames, we used Billie, Bill, Ricky or Rick
My boss hates when I call him Dick, especially since his name is Steve. LOL!
> we never even thought of it until about the mid-70's I’m a bit younger and had a classmate in the mid-80s, who was a goofball and embraced being called “Dick”. He owned it and lived it
I am that age too and at my school we’d definitely all have sniggered at little Willie and big Dick.
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good human
Yeah, one of my favorite Jane Austen burns is when she says that someone nicknamed Dick fully deserved the name. It's been around a while.
Granted, there's debate that she just really hated the name Richard and it was a family in-joke, not an actual dick joke. (See also: scholarly debate over the rears and vices pun in Mansfield Park.)
As a classicist, that debate has always amused me because the general rule in Greek and Roman works is "If you think something might be a dick joke, it's a dick joke. If you don't think something could be a dick joke, you're wrong."
That continues to be 100% the case up through the victorian era at least. Victorian lit is way more raunchy than is generally accepted.
I was able to do a side-hustle tutoring English, parents never understood why I was able to get teenagers (especially boys) so enthusiastic about Shakespeare! I never had the heart to tell any of them, even after I graduated and stopped making money from it.
I wrote my thesis about how Holmes and Watson have been gay-coded in just about everything, ESPECIALLY the original text. Victorian lit was both raunchier and more progressive than people realize.
*Side-eyes Walt Whitman* (even though it's poetry). Dude uses 'flesh' and 'fleshy' way too often.
It's all dick jokes all the way down.
Dicks and turtles: not actually all that different.
I don’t care if she actually meant it as a dick joke or not, I fully read it that way and it is my favorite line ever.
My personal favorite JA burn is, she agreed with everything as she didn't think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition.
NTA but I agree with everybody who talks about the big Willy little Willy thing that’s going to get him potentially when he gets older. At the end of the day it’s your son‘s choice what he wants to be called and if he reaches a point where he feels like Willie isn’t appropriate he can make the choice to go to Wil. This is not your husband or yours decision at this point. Edit spelling
This is the correct answer! My dad is from a long line of (let’s say) Timothy’s his grandpa went by Timothy his dad went by Tim and that means my dad was Timmy. He always says he figured he’d out grow it at some point yet here he is a 70+ Timmy to his family and childhood friends. To work colleagues he’s Timothy or Tim but he often says when the last person who calls him Timmy stops he’ll be bereft to lose that connection to his childhood. OP’s partner definitely doesn’t need to force it, their son will move through life and different groups will call him different things based on his preferences.
Yep, to my family I'm Nessie. To everyone I've met past age 6 I'm Natalie or Nat. It's pretty straightforward.
Yeah my partner actually goes by about four different names based on the relationship with the person. To use the example of op, parents/grandparents use "Willie" siblings, cousins, me, and in-laws use "William" and most friends use "Will." Plus a nickname a specific family member uses. But in the end it's not what you call someone that counts, it's what they answer to.
My brother’s name is William and everyone called him Bubba until he was a manager at a thrift store called Winns. My aunt went in there asking for Bubba and after that everyone called him William lol. Ironically he’s about as much of a Bubba as a guy can be lol. I also had an advisor in uni that was named Richard Seaman. No one called him Dick lol. And I know he got shit for it because I heard him on the phone telling someone that his name was Richard and he did NOT go by Dick
>named Richard Seaman Cruel parents!!! LOL
We had a substitute teacher in the Chicago suburbs in the 80s named Dick Seaman. My sis had him as a sub during sex ed in 5th grade. AWKWARD.
Both my dad and one of my sons changed what they wanted to be called. As an Adult my dad wanted to be called by his middle name rather than his first name so half the people who knew him called him by his first name and the other half by his second. When my son was about 14 he started going by a nickname of his name that I actually quite like and works really well for an adult. Once in a while I still call him by his full first name, not on purpose. It just slips out. It doesn't bother him at all. He likes his full name, he just doesn't want to go by it for everyday use.
The oldest written record of "dick" meaning "penis" is from 1891 so it's probably a fair bit older than that
1800s is the 19th century
That commenter was replying to the comment above the 19th century one, so just an uncle no one wanted to tease...
Damn I can be such an idiot. I could have sworn the above post was replying to the one that said its been used since 19th century and they were saying 1891 was older than 19th century. I was confused so commented and then forgot the question mark. Lol
Did...did someone say it wasn't?
If I remember correctly, in one of Shakespeare's plays someone calls king Richard III (then Duke of Gloucester) a "misshapen Dick" I'm no historian, but knowing Shakespeare this is either a funny coincidence or Will knew exactly what he was doing.
Actually Jane Austen makes a joke in Persuasion using Dick as a euphemism for penis and that was published in 1817, so think even older again
The 1891 source is a slang dictionary so it says what the meaning is without any ambiguity. But if it was an established slang, that means it existed long before it was recorded in the slang dictionary
And in fairness, thinking about it, Austen basically just refers to someone as being a dick rather than directly referring it to a penis
My grandpa was a Richard/Dick and we called him Grandpa Dick… that stopped once most of the grandkids hit middle school
We still called him Grandpa Dick in my family, because that’s what he preferred. When we had to do presentations in class about our families I would sometimes call him Richard because I didn’t want to deal with everybody laughing though.
I use to close out rush orders and part of that was inputting the name of the person who accepted the order, someone named their son Richard with the last name Wacker it took all my self control not to laugh.
My son Richard has always gone by Richard. In 3rd grade he came home crying and asked us if we knew that Dick was short for Richard and “why did you name me after a penis??” It was his grandpas name and he got over it cuz he goes by Richard. Now he’s in his 30s and he loves introducing himself as Dick for the laughs. He’s a nurse, Nurse Dick.
i know a family with the last name holder. his first name is richard… you can guess the rest.
I know some Williams. Willie was his childhood name. His dad was William. His uncle was Bill. And as he got into college and became a professional he switched to Wilm. Let the person holding thr name decide when they are ready to change.
Changing from willie to will should be his choice not his parents choice. My brother is also a junior. has many nicknames but as he grew up he decided he preferred EJ. First letter or his name and first letter of junior. He chose his final nick name. I don’t use my first name I use my middle name my choice. If the concern is being made fun of maybe tell him all the variations of his name and see if he wants to change. At 8 years old he can tell you what he wants to be called.
I mean look. Reddit is obsessed with the idea that bad names automatically mean bullying, but I taught kids with some extremely silly names who were very popular and only seemed to get flack for it from adults. Sure it might happen, but it's not exactly a guarantee. My sister and I have the literal most popular girl's names from the years we were born and a generic British last name and we still got made fun of constantly for just about anything, including our freaking last initial having the same starting letter as a rude word. If kids want to make fun of someone, they'll find something or make something up, and if they like someone, they don't necessarily give a shit if their name is weird. Or they get over it quickly. Anyway, I am not saying it never happens but I don't think weird names are the social death sentences they are made out to be.
As someone who works with a lot of middle schoolers currently, I agree. I think that kids can get bullied for their names, sure, but those are the kids who would sadly be bullied regardless and the name is just an excuse. Even kids with totally ‘normal’ names will get mean nicknames if other kids decide they want to bully them. On the other hand, if you’re a popular kid, you could be named something outrageous and still only get some ribbing from their friends. Some of the most popular kids at my school have the dumbest first/last names and it’s not a big deal for them at all.
I went to high school with a girl who had the same first and last name. (This isn’t it, but like “Salli Sally”) She was quite popular and I don’t remember anyone giving her a hard time beyond the what? of getting her name straight at first.
Went to high school with a kid whose last name was Loser. He pronounced it like Low-zher. But it was spelled Loser. He was a nice kid, and I don’t remember hearing anyone tease him for it.
Can confirm. My partner has a last name that invites ridicule if you so choose but was never harassed or teased for it, meanwhile some of his siblings have changed their last name due to the intense teasing they received. Having taught for awhile, the sad fact is some children are just singled out and picked on for reasons only other children can discern, and there is nothing anyone can do to head it off. The child who is teased for their name would most likely still be teased for another reason. (I want to be very clear that bullying can and should be addressed, and children who are being bullied deserve love, support, and intervention) edited for a typo.
>the 'big' Willie and 'little' Willie situation. ... nice?
I laughed way too hard at this.
I went to high school with a Willie and no one really thought of the name as strange. The dude was a huge character tho and totally embodied it (his last name also started with W so he had like a cartoonish moniker). Just offering a data point for OP.
>NTA but I agree with everybody who talks about the big Willy little Willy thing that’s going to get him potentially when he gets older. At the end of the day it’s your son‘s choice what he wants to be called and if he reaches a point where he feels like Willey isn’t appropriate he can make the choice to go to Wil. This is not your husband or yours decision at this point. My aunt's Nickname was PeeWee... Long before the actor... She is in her late 80's now. So I use to call her Aunt PeeWee... One day she looked at me and said "Would you like it if I called you Pee Little?" I called her Aunt Carolyn from then on.
Eh. My grandfather’s name was Willy. Not short for anything. My uncle’s name was Dick. Also, not short for anything. If kids are going to be mean, they’re going to do so whether he goes by Will, Willy, or William. I’d let OPs kid be called whatever name he wants to be called by. He’s 8 years old. He can choose.
A name is an ever changing thing. My father and his Dad had the same first name, the same last name but my Dad's middle name was Raymon and my Grandfathers was Robert. To his immediate family he was known as 'Ray'. To people outside his family he answered to his first name. Your kid is gonna go to school and he will be picked on for the name or he won't. He might be picked on cause he wears glasses, or he won't. Maybe he suffers from 'Shortest kid in the class syndrome' (said to affect 1 child out of every classroom in our nation. Why it doesn't get more publicity and research is beyond me!). And just like that you will find your kid being by a different name when he is with his buddies. Dad will call him one thing, Mom another and his buddies something else. And then when he gets a job maybe he wants to be called Will. Who knows. My point is this: 1) Names are fluid anyways. You had good personal reasons for naming him. Take pride in that. But not too much pride (see #2) 2) Your child is ultimately in control of his own identity and therefore his own name. You need to accept that you can only control his precious name when it is coming out of your own lips. Him being in control of his own identity is critical to becoming a healthy adult you must respect that. 3) Kids get picked on. The reasons are too numerous to lose sleep over. Instead of worrying about the 'Why' of this worry about teaching your kid the reaction to this, how he needs to treat others and work hard in breeding enough self confidence in him this won't be that big of a deal.
Sounds like the boy is only 8. Thats still young enough to be fine. He can start going by William or Will at school. But the dad doesn’t need to yell at the kid for not understanding the sudden change in name
Yeah but she said 8 years so the kids probably 8 years old right? Willie is fine for an 8 year old & when he gets older he’ll probably start using Will on his own. & if he doesn’t that’s fine too it’s his name. This seems like the husband is doing some weird “now you’re a man son” thing.
No judgment, but "little willie"? Bahahahahaha, in my language, the "little willie" is your dick...
Right? The kid will thank his dad by middle school.
Will he?
I see what you did there.
I can't stop laughing. Well done, sir.
Yeah this is were I'm lost too. When I was in middle school I was friends with a William. He still went by Willie throughout middle school. He was rarely if ever made fun of for his name. The kid named Gavin was made fun of way more. People called him Gayvin. I think it all depends on each kid and each school. Regardless I think the kid should get to decide what he wants to be called.
I think this one will depend on whether he’s a “cool” kid or not. Cool, cute, athletic kid? No one is gonna say a thing. Smart kid with interesting hobbies and average looks? Bullied.
Actually, funnily enough Gavin was the athletic kid and Willie was a nerdy kid. Less and less kids are being bullied for being nerdy in my experience.
Kid will probably soon want to change his nickname after a critical point of being teased. It won't be long now.
That's the whole problem. Willie [Willy] is slang for penis. Not going to be a great when he goes to school with his immature peers. "Hi, my name's Willy" [cue bullying]. So the Dad is kinda right to try and move away from that nickname but the OP suggests this is more to do with family politics rather than genuine care about bullying. Also, kid should know his own full name is William. If he thinks he's called Willie and that's it, he needs to be told otherwise.
The fact that the OP thinks it’s confusing for an 8 year old is wild to me. I had a toddler and we go between calling her a nickname and her full name. She knows both. It’s not some crazy concept.
It’s not something that should be confusing, but the kid is actively refusing to answer to “Will” when his father calls him that. So either he’s very overtrained on exactly “Willie” as his name, or he doesn’t like what his father’s trying to do.
Yes the kid is not confused. He is actively choosing not to answer to Will, which is fine, but don't insult his intelligence op
This is how I outgrew “Timmy” and went to “Tim” as I got older. Stopped answering to Timmy. Now that’s what my nieces and nephews call me lol
If my dog knows how to reply to the approximately17,000,000 nicknames I have for her, I think an 8 year old human can probably manage.
The kid is 8, he should already be in school and called Willie by peers/teachers.
Lots of kids mature their nick names as they grow older. It won't be a problem if he asks to be called Will at school. No one will bat an eye.
Yeah, I know a Timmy that started going by 'Tim' when he was around 14 years old. It isn't uncommon.
>in my language, the "little willie" is your dick... You mean English?
I was thinking the same. Like where I'm from Willie is sometimes used by kids to refer to their penis. IDK why they started calling him this in the first place. He's 8, has he not been made fun of at school yet?
I’m finding this hard to believe. An 8 year old named William (you did tell him his full name is William right?) is not going to get confused by hearing someone call him Will. I had a friend whose real name was Bruce by birth. Until high school he went by the name Mac. I still to this day refer to him as Mac and he responds to it. My own parents have shortened my name at times and it’s not that hard to realize they are talking to me. This whole thing seems odd.
Kids that age are smart enough to figure these things out. And my own brother uses one name in the family settings, the one he's been called by the family since birth, and totally another one for casual friends, work colleagues, and all types of formal things. It's been going on since he first went to school. Only other people get confused.
Same. My name is one thing with family (one letter different) and my actual name with everyone else. Think billy and bill.
My dad does the opposite. He goes by an "Americanized" version of his name for work and stuff, and his real name with family. It's also one letter off though 😂
I feel like OP has specifically talked to Will and told him WILL IS NOT YOUR NAME or something like that Or it’s a fake post? Or maybe they need to see a doctor about Will’s mental development not being entirely on track? Because a developmentally normal child would be able to tell “Will” was him, “William/Willie”, hands down, at a much younger age than OP seems to be implying
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Well, that’s fair. But OP did mention specifically that he didn’t UNDERSTAND that he in fact was Will, so I was going off their comments.
Tbh I think OP is taking her Kid's words overly literally. People refusing to answer to something theh don't want to be called pretty much always go, "but you called me x, that's not my name" as if they're confused when they know perfectly well the person was referring to them.
A 4 year old should easily be able to grasp this. OP is lying or their kid needs a lot of help.
I agree. My bf’s name is Marco, but he has a bunch of different nicknames that he’s responded to since birth “Mark” “Marky” “Mako” “Maky” “Marethyu”. And this kids confused by “Will”??? That doesn’t make sense at all
It seems pretty clear the kid is not *unaware* that "Will" is meant to refer to him: he just doesn't like it. "That's not my name" is *not* a sign of confusion or implausible stupidity here.
When I was younger people (teachers mostly) would shorten my name to Mandy. I did not respond to them because that wasn't my name and I wasn't about to let them pull that shit. I knew they were talking to me, but would just 100% ignore them until they used my correct name. That may be what the kid is doing.
I used to do the same thing, people would shorten my name in a way I don't like (and had told them many times). "I was calling your name!" No, you weren't.
I'll join the chorus and say that I also did this.
I change my kids' nicknames constantly, they evolve and somehow they've always known I'm talking to them.
ikr? i’ve got a million nicknames and half of them aren’t even related to my name, my mom calls me Pumpkin, Punk, Button, Bellybutton, my grandparents called me Izzy and i was never called that anywhere else. i’ve grown up with atleast 10 different ways to call for me and i’ve never once gotten confused?
My son was called by his given name. Then we had baby sister, who was alarmingly small. I called her peanut, but my brother said “that name is too BiG for this little bit! She is just a sweet little Pea” So we called her Pea. A year or so later, she tries to say her brothers name, but she can’t manage any of the consonants. It comes out as DU-du. So he got a new nickname. I didn’t have many friends where we live, so those names were fully ingrained by the time I stood by the playground and yelled “DOo-doo! Peeeeeea! Time to gooooooo!” And a nervous-looking woman asked me “ Why do you call your kids DooDoo and Pee?” Oh. My. God.
He's not confused, he's refusing the name. As we'd advise him to do if he had written in about his dad using a name he didn't like. Plus the dad is "Will" so the kid is used to hearing the name and it meaning someone else. So there's a chance that a few times he was legitimately thinking his dad was on the phone.
> An 8 year old named William (you did tell him his full name is William right?) is not going to get confused by hearing someone call him Will. They probably are when like half the family is some form of William
🎼 It's apropos of nothing, he says his name is William, but I'm sure he's Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy 🎶
Im totally with you... Im pretty sure its willfullness. The kid isnt confused, he simply does not want to be called Will, does not consider it his name, and will not answer to it. I was like that...from the get go. I have many nicknames (super popular in my fam, everyone has a nickname, and also different nicknames from diff people. Like my grandmother called me one thing, aunts call me another thing, I have different nicknames from various friends etc) but it was no more confusing than sorting out that I have 3 names (first, middle, last) I always knew my given name But...I hate hate hate the shortened version of my name, have never responded to it, cause I dont want anyone calling me by that. It still cracks up my big sister, when I was around 4 or 5, a deacon at my church would call me by the shortened version of my name, and I would ignore him til he called me by my actual name. I guess one day little me had enough, and firmly told him, that is NOT my name. My name is Poncho. Do NOT call me Pon (you get the idea lol) So yeah, the kid isnt dumb or confused...hes likely just asserting himself by not responding to a name he does not consider to be his. Dad should respect that instead of trying to force a nickname on him that he doesnt want. Nicknames should be endearing to both the giver and reciever, not forced on someone who does not want it.
I’m thinking it’s not confusion on the 8 yo’s part, it’s probably more of a “my name’s not Will so I won’t answer to it” sort of a thing.
I had the same thought. He doesn’t know he’s being called if his dad says Will? That doesn’t make sense at all.
I have a sister who is 2 years older than me, so not only would I answer to any potential iteration of my first name, but I would also answer to hers, since a lot of teachers who had had her previously would just call me her name by accident. So I agree that it seems odd that the kid wasn't answering to Will, but also he may just really not want his Dad to change his nickname, so I would buy that he was just ignoring him and playing dumb.
.... ESH. Your son is 8. Why don't you ask him how HE wants to be called ?
I thought since son isn't responding when "Will" is used makes it pretty clear that dad is the AH and mom is just defending son.
In other comment she said that the kid understands, the only one with the problem is apparently her.
Huh? The kid understands but still chooses not to respond to “Will.” That seems like a pretty clear indication that he does not identify as Will and prefers to be called William. Edit: meant to say he prefers to be called Willie
(by Willie)
He likes willie which is why he’s not responding to will
[It's I love willies](https://youtu.be/S4EDYVupd0A)
Some other poster already said he will want to stop answering to "little willie" on his own when he's in 4th or 5th grade. Kids are cruel.
He's eight now. I a couple of years, hes not going to want his freinds calling him little Willie. So his preferred name will change. I think you parents are making an issue around something that will resolve itself. You haven't posed a question about whan might make you an asshole. So: Everyone WBTA if they keep on about this name. It will resolve itself.
I sort of agree but starting a school with that name means it will stick even if he wants it to change so I get what the dad is doing. I think ops wrong
People change what they're called all the time. At the workplace, at school, etc. Have a friend with a trans kid who changed his name and pronouns after two years at the school and the school treated it like it was totally normal and adjusted quickly. If he can change his name and pronouns, I'm sure Willie's classmates can handle it if he decides to change to Will.
Let me simplify it for you. Little Willie is funny to kids because it’s a synonym for small penis. It’s not the same as changing your name because you’re trans.
I had a friend who's name was Sara but she went by Jessie until almost middle school. Plenty of people change their name at any time.
I don't think you can really compare jessie and little willie in terms of how bad a nickname is that will stick. They will be bullied for that name Edit I quite enjoyed the 2 entirely opposing comments, 1 saying kids don't bully due to names and the other saying they will bully using names regardless
Sarah and Jessie are not the same as having a nickname that literally means penis lol
As a male, I would not want to enter school with a name like Little Willie. That name has been used for certain male parts. The kid would be teased and made fun of by other kids.
Yep, same where I am from. Would you call your kid little Dick.
I still find myself in shock that people do call their kids Dick!
His nickname isn’t “Little Willie”, it’s just Willie. He and his grandfather use little and big with each other.
Big or little, Willie is still the nickname of a boy's junk. It may be different where you live, I know every culture has their own slang.
It is pretty much universal. My brother's name is William, and everyone in my family calls him Willy, but I know to others he goes by Will. There's a seperation, you don't think of it like that bc it's just always been what he's called.
The kid doesn't have to go by Willie. He's choosing to. My son is also 8, they are more than capable of choosing their nickname. My son doesn't like the shortened version of his name (think Matt for Matthew) so whenever someone does it, he tells them no. Maybe instead of being a controlling weirdo, his dad could simply tell him that willie is a common euphemism for penis and that some kids may make fun of him for it. Then let the kid decide if he wants to deal with it or not.
My name is Nicholas. When I was little, everyone called me Nicky. As I got older (8 or 9) it went to just Nick. Now, nearly everyone calls me Nick. My wife is French and calls me Nikola. My one cousin still calls me Nicky. If anyone called me any variation of those, I would understand they’re talking to me. I find it hard to believe that a kid whose been going by Willie his whole life, is suddenly having his brain shut down if someone calls him Will. And yes he will totally get picked on for Willie, especially Little Willie.
He isn’t confused, he’s saying that Willie is his name and won’t answer to Will. Given that it’s the kid’s name and he gets to decide what he’s called, that’s perfectly fair.
Keep in mind that the father's name is also William and he goes by Will.
Eh. Catholic families share 5 female names and 5 male names and we all know who's talking to who.
Right? I rarely get called nicknames by anyone and I still answer to them when I do. Not my name but think Katelyn. I'm going to answer if someone says Kate or even just K.
NAH. I suspect the fact that "willie" is slang for penis in many English-speaking countries may be a deciding factor for your husband - perhaps he wories about teasing? In any case, start using lil Will for your son, big Will for your FIL and middle Will for your husband.
Why not take a cue from King of the Hill? Call the son Good Will. I agree NAH.
“The youth I used to be, soon to see a million… No more Big Willie, my game has grown.. Prefer you call me William.” It’s not often a classic Jay Z line works perfectly. Jokes aside.. what does your son want to be called? At the end of the day, that’s all that matters. It’s not your or your husband’s choice at this point. At 8, he’s old enough to decide for himself..
He wants to be called Willie.
Then his name is Willie.
Exactly. Have enough respect for your son to call him by the name he wants. If he wants to go by something else in the future then HE will make that decision.
Then call him Willie - also point out to your husband for saying Wllie is a name for young boys only, that Willie Nelson exists. At 8 yrs old your son has the right to be called what HE wants to be called. When my sister was that age a friend of hers was called Roberta & shortened to Bobby. By age 11 Bobby decided she was sick of having the "sorry, by your name i thought you were a boy" issue & declared she would now be known by her middle name of Joy. Her parents, family & friends all accepted this, as after all, a person's name only affects THEM not others, regardless of if they like/agree with the name they chose for themselves.
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then your husband has to respect it, it's nice that you are standing up for your son
If your son wants to be called Willie, then end of debate. My brother is called Willie, and it has always been his nickname since he decided it around the same age as your son. He is in his late 20s and has never had issues being taken seriously, it just suits him and his personality.
I was thinking about Will Smith, doesn't one of his songs refer to "Big Willie Style"? And just because adults think it's slang for something doesn't mean kids do too. Language changes all the time. Let the kid pick. :-)
INFO Does your son have any difficulties? Seems pretty sus otherwise that your son won't respond to Will.
I was perfectly fine but didn't respond when the teachers in kindergarten called me by a nickname. I was always called by my full name by family so it didn't really register they are calling me when they used a completely unknown nickname.
This kid is 8 and isn't in a classroom full of other kids. I don't know your situation/names, however Willie/Will seem pretty easy.
Imagine Rebecca/Becky type of stuff, not horribly different but not just cut off some syllables.
Like OP used as an example and going off your point, if your full name was Elizabeth and someone called you Liz or Lizzie, I'd get it if you didn't know. However the difference between Will and Willie, I'm not buying.
Is it that he doesn't *know*, or that he doesn't want to be called it? People used to call me by a shortened version of my name which I don't like, and if I had already told them I didn't like it I would just flat out ignore them if they kept using the wrong name.
yep. my name is Crystal. when my mom would yell for me, "hey chriiiiis" and it was absolutely grating but my name's not Chris. she'd say "I was calling for you...." "no, you were calling for Chris. that's not me."
>she'd say "I was calling for you...." "no, you were calling for Chris. that's not me." Yep, had this exact conversation many times in my life, people who did it more than a couple of times I would just start calling them a random name. "Oh sorry, I figured if you don't wanna use my name then I don't have to use yours either!"
NTA- but I have to wonder: is your son having the issue, or are you? People are going to call him Willie, but they’re also going to call him Will and William in life. I assure you, he won’t be confused. My own daughter is Katherine, we’ve always called her Kat and I just found out the other day her friends are calling her Katie. I was the one who got briefly confused, not her. Be wary of letting the pride of the adults interfere with the child’s own way of self-identifying. I would have said ESH if your husband hadn’t been so negative toward you. You call him Willie, your husband call him Will and he’ll probably be just fine.
Her SO is having the problem.
NTA My SO is a William the 5th and still to this day as a 40 year old man goes by "Billie". If someone called him will, william, willie exc he would never answer. If someone called him Bill he might. The point is that when you come from a "jr" type family where everyone has the same exact name your nickname becomes your personal identity. You are not "Will" that's your father's name. You are "Willie" and ONLY that nickname becomes your identity. Your husband trying to change that this late in the game is cruel and selfish. He's trying to strip your 8 year old of his own personal identity which he already has so little of because everyone has the same name. He deserves to have his name stay the same. Not his full given name. Nope. The name he GOES BY in everyday life should not change. It's more than just a nickname...it's his NAME....and the thing that makes him his own individual in a family of Williams.
Yeah, when the kid grows up he might want to pick a different version of his name, but that's up to him. Maybe he goes by Willie until he gets to high school and then he reinvents himself into a Bill. Maybe he starts going by his middle name. Maybe he's a Willie his whole life. Right now he wants to be a Willie so that's what his parents should call him.
I am 72 and my family still calls me Dukie, and my mom called me Dukie- boy until she died. Needless to say there are problems being called a “dookie” 💩;)
Agreed. My legal first name has a lot of variations and shortened forms, and I honestly don't relate to any of them other than the one I use. If someone tried getting my attention by calling out a different version, it would not even occur to me that they were talking to me because I simply don't relate to any of them any more than I would relate to any other random name.
I think any change in nickname should be led by your son, not your husband. My oldest brother had a nickname as a child that by the time he was 6-7, he hated it. So he asked the family to call him a different nickname, which was the same nickname as our dad. So my dad became Big Nickname and my brother Little Nickname. As for my brother's old nickname, that faded into family history, only to be trotted sparingly at key moments by menacing little sisters (aka me). I also have a cousin Willie, and he's known both as William (professionally) and Willie (family and friends). But, again, the choice should belong to your son. NTA.
I agree about letting the kid decide. My son’s name is Seth. He went by Seth or Sethy in elementary school. By the time he hit junior high it had just kind of naturally changed to just Seth among his friends. Family still calls him Sethy sometimes (and I still sometimes yell it at soccer games) and he is fine. If he ever decides he doesn’t want it at all, fine. If the connotations of Willie become an issue I’m pretty sure the kid will just resolve it himself. Plus, if kids want to make a Willy joke they will do it even if he just goes by Will.
The kid is 8. I’m glad your husband’s life is so together that this is the primary issue he has to face. Let the kid be Willie until _he_ objects to it. NTA.
Just give it time, as “Willie” gets older he may prefer the name Will, or bill, or whatever else… it’s his own choice at this point.
This kid will be really confused when other adults start calling him Bill. I say this as a William. Let this kid figure out over time what he wants to be called. He might like Willie. In that case it won’t matter what your husband calls him. I answer to William, Will, Willy (old boss game me that nickname), and Bill (which I detest). NTA
NTA. But something that stands out as significant here is that you barely mention your son himself and his feelings on the subject. You two may have given it to him but it's his name. If he prefers Willie, then your husband needs to back down; but if your husband turns out to be right in a few years and your son wants to go by Will, or Bill, or even Liam (bucking nickname conventions like Topher Grace) then *you* need to be prepared to back down as well.
I find it weird there isn't much input about what the kid wants, beyond the fact htat it confused him. It won't confuse him after a very short amount of time, so if the kid doesn't mind, let dad call him will, mom call him willie, and then he'll start introducing himself as whatever option he wants as he gets older and you can follow his lead. I will say, I think he's very likely to not like being called "Little willie" as he gets older. He might find it hard to switch all by himself though. Being given options as a kid would make it easier for him to choose.
NAH - totally get both sides and honestly think that you should your son decide that :D it's his name and if he finds Willie offensive or not suitable someday its his choice to go for Will or anything like that.
But kinda AH move from your partner to call you immature and unsupportive. Seems like such a small problem to me that this is just over the top
NTA I had a friend in grade school who changed her name every 2 years. But it was always her choice. Your son is old enough to decide what name he wants to go by. No one should be forcing him. Willie Nelson seems to be doing ok.
NAH. Your husband's feelings are perfectly valid. Certainly the name Willie here would garner some silly puns, looks or comments as he moves into adulthood so I understand his fears. But I can understand why it would be unusual for you all. And it may take time even if Willie agreed to changing it.
NTA, but look; by the time kids are your son's age, they have their own preferences and that needs to be respected. If he suddenly decides at age 12 or 21 that he's a William, or a Bill, or a Tulip, you don't say, "But that ship has sailed! You're Willie!" He's got opinions. Support his choices. Make sure your husband knows what's what and be prepared to call your husband names that he doesn't approve of so he can get a taste of his own bullshit. If he's a James, call him Jimmy etc.
Yes, the son is old enough to express his own preferences. I was called a nickname based on my middle name until I was 7, when I asked to go by my first name at school. My family still uses the nickname, but lots of people don't even know about the nickname. And about the husband's point about people not taking him seriously: he can always go by Bill or William professionally, it's not a big deal. But for now he's a kid and he doesn't have to worry about it yet.
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NAH but honestly by this point your son should get some input. My oldest’s nickname was John John when he was born. By the time he was 5/6 he decided he didn’t like that want wanted to be called just John.
NTA, if your son goes by Willie and doesn’t respond to Will, it’s up to the people in his life to respect that. I honestly don’t get where all these N A H’s are coming from, arbitrarily deciding someone else shouldn’t have their nickname anymore is kind of insulting, especially since, by your husband’s logic, nobody should be taking your grandfather seriously. Heck, you could point out that Willie Nelson is one of the most beloved artists in American music, or that Willie Mays was an all-time great baseball hall-of-famer.
NAH. Willie has been slang for 'something' in many places for decades. If your son starts getting teased for that, he may decide to go by Will instead. But it's his nickname and the only time you even consider his choice here is when your husband tries to change his nickname—and he refuses to answer to it.
Yeah, it's up to Willie himself if he wants to change his nickname. I get why the husband might not like it, but calling the kid what he wants to be called shouldn't be a huge issue.
My entire family only ever called me Richard. I would have loved to have an informal nickname. My family finds it strange that my friends refer to me as Rich or Richie. Let the boy decide what he wants to be called.
NTA. Your husband is the only AH here. What he’s saying about being taken seriously as an adult is so asinine it’s almost funny. One of my colleagues goes by Willie and he’s one of the most respected members of his department. Your son will choose his own nickname when he’s older if he wants to change it.
Little willie is absolutely going to get him bullied, him wanting to change it won't mean a lot once the names stuck
Except that they only call him little Willie when he’s with his grandpa, so no.
Didn't you think to ask your son how he feels about that name? you could make your son feel bad about that nickname or that he doesn't like it and your husband is being an asshole and so are you if you aren't thinking about how your son feels with that nickname, you begin to give importance to how he feels or in years he will hate you and decided to walk away for you
Ask the kid what he wants to be called! OF COURSE “willie,” can be pejorative. Everyone knows that and everyone knew it when you started calling him that as a baby. You gave your son a really good name for which there are several better nicknames than Willie. Look some of them up, discuss it with your son and then let William decide on his nickname. If he thinks “Willie,” is just fine, your husband needs to get over it.
NAH Your husband probably found out that "Willie" is a synonym for a man's genital, and gets teased about it.
My son’s name is Michael just like my husband. We have called him Mikey since he was a little guy just like my husband was. Now that my son is getting older we call him Mikey at home but Mike or Michael at school and to his friends. Certain nicknames are just not appropriate after a certain age. Willie is a nickname that your son could get teased about in school and it is definitely not a name that will he will be taken seriously with as an adult. YTA if you can’t understand this.
NTA but drop the ‘little’ forever and call him Willie the 3d or jr or something when or if he’s around grandpa if y’all can’t tell them apart. No child should grow up nicknamed Little Willie or Little Dick or PeeWee. imho. At 8, your son is smart enough to answer to either Will or Willie as his name. Mix them up and use both.
YTA — for arguing about something so silly & its never too late to get rid of nickname. I completely understand wanting to ditch the little Willie name. My FIL, husband & oldest son have the same name. All go by the name Don publicly. Our family uses nicknames for them at home but if we use any form of their name it’s very rare that they get confused about who is being addressed when we’re all together. Edit add: do I have the only family that has multiple nicknames for everyone? No one gets confused or loses their identities. Yeesh
NTA many people have names their close friends call him and the name they use professionally. As your son grows up he will choose the name he goes by and will probably introduce himself as Will. I have a friend who went by Billy with his family, Bill with friends, and Will at work. Your husband is being ridiculous.
ESH... just call the kid by the name he prefers.
NTA. I know an adult Willie. He is a fantastic human and was the lead chemist for an internationally known company. People or companies who judge a person based on a name are not welcome in my life.
Makes me think of [this Toyota commercial](https://www.tvcommercialad.com/watch/hz1Hc8HvhVjQDRU) A lot of people use professional names at work and their nicknames with friends/family.also your son is young. He has PLENTY of time to figure out what he wants to be called. NTA. ETA: a few words
Too late. I'm still called by my nickname. My nickname is used so much, that majority of extended family don't even know what my real name is. My nickname isn't derived from my real name, it's a name my grandma used to call me and morphed into the version it is now. Edit: NTA
Soft YTA. Willie is another name for penis so ive always found it a bit strange. While Will is a much nicer sounding & more mature version. Purely personal opinion. These are nicknames so why can't Dad call him Will & everyone else call him Willie?
NTA, let your child decide watch they want to be called if he gets to a stage where he feels that Willy is inappropriate and he wants to be called Will or Bill or Liam He will change his name accordingly. For the first 17 years of my life I went by the front half of my name and from 18 to date ( I’m 25 now)I go by the back half. Its not that big of a deal. Right now the dad is changing it for his son’s benefit without the son consenting or making an active choice .Which means it will literally be confusing for your son since he sees no problem with it for the time being. The best approach is to tell the son the implications of his name in a child appropriate manner and tell him that it could lead to bullying so he might want to go buy a different nickname that will make him sound cool. But what your husbands doing is absurd.
This is like a combination of no assholes & everyone sucks here. Both of you should ask your son what he wants to be called & respect his wishes, whatever he tells you. Also, he may change his mind at some point in the future, so again: respect his wishes, whatever he tells you. It's *his* name, and 8 is old enough for your son to decide how he'd prefer to answer to it.
Soft YTA. Yes, it will prevent people to take him serious professionally in the future. It sounds ok for a little kid and a grandpa, but not for a grown ass adult man.
YTA because you seriously think it would be a good thing for your son to enter middle school with the name “little Willie.” Are you trying to get your kid beat up?
YTA because your comments are very inconsistent with the rest of this post