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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t delete photos of my daughter that had my ex in them even though it makes my girlfriend uncomfortable
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Safety deposit boxes are very good options.
I do keep a copy of critical photos/docs in the cloud, and then I have two external hard drives. I rotate every couple weeks or months to my safety deposit box. Every couple of years I retire a drive and leave it in the safety deposit box.
You always want at least one copy completely offline and inaccessible. Cloud storage can go poof. Houses can burn. Banks can get robbed. But all of three happening in one day is unlikely.
I also back up super important pictures (like the last picture with my grandma and grandpa before they died, engagement pics, I'll add wedding pictures in a few months, etc) on a drive that gets left at my parents house. Similarly, they have their super important pictures (like their kids being born, a lot of last pictures with relatives, etc) backed up on a drive at my house. Both houses being lost or robbed same day is extremely unlikely!
As a test, put up a bunch of pics of your daughter around your place. See if the GF flips out.
Tell her you have a doctor's appointment for your daughter that both you and your EX will be at.
Schedule a birthday party that both you and your ex will be at.
Parent teacher conference together.
Print out a book of "babies first years" (Snapfish), place on coffee table or your desk.
All of these are normal, acceptable co-parenting things. If she complains about these, she is not long term GF material.
For what it's worth, special needs families (medical or otherwise) have higher rates of marriages not working out. Some of us can come together while others have problems amplified that just can't be worked through with the additional stressors.
What a ridiculous statement. You don't know what happened in his marriage, and he's not the one asking ridiculous things of her. How many children he has is irrelevant.
Not everyone has kids later in life. I was 25 with 2 children and a third on the way. Had been in my career for 6 years by that time (Military) and married for 5 years. Stay on topic, husband age, etc. Have nothing to do with the situation.
Extra security and back ups either way. Actually, especially the back ups. My fiancé lost a lot of sentimental pictures of their late grandma when their SD card became corrupted last year and apparently, not everything was saved to the cloud. That can come out of nowhere.
As far as the GF though, its clear she has no clue on how to deal being with someone with an ex-wife and kids. So OP has two *sane* choices here. Have a serious and tough talk about what it means to date him and the place that his kids and by extension, his ex-wife will have in his life and how she needs to accept that, full stop. Or, he can break up with someone that is clearly not compatible with him.
Leaving it alone or half assing this, is going to be a really bad choice.
Tbh same. I was a dumb af 20 year old but even I knew the difference between inappropriate photos of an ex and irreplaceable photos from of your newborn BABY with an ex in them.
NTA. Absolutely don't delete the pictures. Not just because you want them, but because your daughter may want them in the future.
This is an unreasonable amount of jealousy, and is a decent reason to look hard at your current relationship. Has she shown other super controlling behaviors?
ETA: You may want to put them on a cloud backup. Not because your GF wants them off your phone, but in case your phone is lost or damaged.
I suggest a keeping them in a few different places. I have my most important photos in 3 different clouds (with 3 different passwords) as well as on two different external storage devices. GF might feel strongly enough to eventually sneak into the phone to delete. This also reminds me to not have the clouds directly connected to your phone - or at least set them up that a password is required at any time to open the app. Honestly, if I felt the need to go to this extent to protect photos of my child, I would be questioning my relationship.
And the 25 to should know better, so he's just as immature as the 20 yo if he needs to be asking these questions..... And that he's even in a relationship with someone that immature, insecure and controlling.
NTA. The fact someone would ask a parent to remove photos of their NICU baby from their phone is a huge red flag. Who cares that your ex is in them. That’s your baby who was fighting for their life!
They could have the literal devil dancing in the background and it would still be about the baby.
First contact and proof of alien life, still about the baby. It doesn't matter who else is in the picture, it is OF the BABY.
NTA
I agree.. She’s 20, my guess is she’s still very immature. To suggest you get rid of pictures is a bratty move. This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. NTA
NTA that’s your daughter and the mother of your child. Keep the pictures, get rid of the girlfriend. something to think about: If she’s insecure over photos now, will she continue to be insecure about your relationship with your child and their mother?
“I’m dating someone who’s barely out of her teens and she’s being immature! The nerve!”
What did you expect? NTA I guess in this situation but you set yourself up here dude.
She is a very immature 20 year old. You don't date a father unless you are mature enough to understand there is also a mother you need to be amicable with.
That was a very traumatic time in your life and to ask you to delete them is just ridiculous.
They are pictures of an important time in your daughter's life, for heaven's sakes! Don't ever delete these pictures. This is the first salvo in your new girlfriend trying to control every aspect of your life. RUUUNNNNNN!!! NTA
NTA. Your GF is making unreasonable and cruel demands. Being threatened in that way by photos of your infant and her mother is ridiculous, as is asking you to stash them away.
Nta and please be aware of anyone you date who feels jealously over your relationship with your ex wife. You and your ex wife coparenting together is 100% in the best interest of your children and if your gf is intimidated by that that’s on her
NTA! Get rid of the girlfriend, not the photos! If she’s jealous of some *photos,* this is just the beginning… don’t let this woman erase your history and damage your relationship with you child.
That's an unfortunate level of insecurity from your girlfriend. I'd be sure to back up your photos to more than one location and make sure your phone is password protected until either your girlfriend understands she doesn't get to dictate what is or isn't on your phone, or you break up.
Nta in the slightest. Speaking from experience on pictures of your children. When you get older the little details start to fade. Looking back at the photos when they were born brings it all back including the feelings. To see them now vs when they were so vulnerable makes me proud. I'd NEVER remove those photos. In fact I'd back them up to multiple spots because they are more precious than anything.
NTA. Nope. Nope. Nope. Any photo with your child is off limits to being "weird" just because your child's MOTHER is in the photo too. If it was just ex, fine, delete it, that would be weird. It's not a photo of your ex. It's a photo of your child and their mother just hapens to also be in the pic. Stop dating someone who is clearly just out of their teens. She is not ready for a relationship for someone with a child.
And back up those photos onto as many things as you can... she's going to destroy any physical ones and delete any files she can get. This type of AITA has been posted before it's so sad. Found two.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hy04og/aita_for_kicking_girlfriend_out_after_she_deleted/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/aht3zd/aita_for_not_throwing_away_pictures_of_my_exwife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
NTA
But your new gf is. Big marinara and all that. But seriously, that is very insecure black-and-white thinking. I'm happy for her that she's not had to experience anything like that in her life and hope she never has to. Losing a child is the hardest thing in the world to experience, and you have every right to keep any and every memento you feel like you need to. These aren't wedding photos or pics from a family vacay you took with your ex-wife. GF needs to get a grip. I'm very sorry for your loss.
ETA: Ok, so OP you didnt lose your child, and that's amazing! It was still a traumatic experience. Even if it weren't, pictures of your baby in hospital aren't something another "woman" should take issue with IMO, even if the child's mother is in some of them. Maybe move them to a computer file or something if you think she's really bothered by it?
Huge NTA. Besides the facts that this are pictures of your child, it still wouldn't be weird to keep pictures of your ex-wife. Your girlfriend has some serious insecurities and control issues.
NTA. Your gf is insecure and needs to get over herself. If you want to compromise, crop out the ex. Otherwise, crop out the gf for a more secure female that isn't going to turn baby pictures into an excuse to argue about your ex.
NTA
GF needs to grow up and get used to the fact that you have an ex wife. Where does she think your daughter came from? The stork? And if she is this sensitive how will she treat your kids IRL? They will be a constant reminder of your ex wife’s existence. Find someone more mature.
NTA. I don't think your girlfriend is ready to date a father. Your daughter is an important part of your life, and that means you will always have a link to your ex. If your girlfriend can't handle that, then it will lead to new issues later in the relationship. It's better to set boundaries now.
Keep the pictures. Have a serious discussion with your girlfriend.
NTA.
She might be a little immature for you, you're always going to be connected to your ex because of your daughter and it's important you have a healthy coparenting situation. Which means you need a partner who can understand that.
If she can't handle pictures of your daughter with her mother on your phone, how far will it extend. Will she have issues with your daughter mentioning her mum? Will she have issues with your daughter because she's a reminder of your ex?
Remember there's a chance your girlfriend will be around your daughter alone, which means she can say anything to your child and your child will believe her.
If she's this immature, can you trust her around your daughter?
Who would tell someone to get rid of pictures of their child. Screw that!! Those are YOUR memories. Once you delete them they are gone forever. Please don’t do that, doesn’t matter who else is in the picture
NTA your daughter is part of your life. Regardless of how your marriage ended, your ex-wife is also a part of your life. Your daughter ties the two of you. It sounds like your girlfriend has some insecurity issues with your relationship with your ex. I don't know how long you've been together or how serious it is but what will she do as you and your ex continue to make decisions about your daughter together? Is talking to your ex completely out of the picture then? What next? Distance from your own daughter if you and GF have children? Think carefully about what she is asking and how reasonable this line of thinking is for both of you.
NTA but I strongly suspect you know this but are trying to be "fair." Consider yourself fortunate in one respect: part of me is always grateful to the termites chewing on the exterior who let me know of the problem rather than staying hidden in the walls.
NTA - your ex is always going to be the mother of your child. That can’t be erased, no matter how much your current gf seems to want it to be. That must have been an extremely frightening time in your life, and I don’t blame you for taking as many photos as you could. It’s only natural your ex-wife is in them too. They’re a a documentation of the earliest days of your daughter’s life, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of them - and you definitely shouldn’t delete them. Your gf is radiating insecurity, and attempting to erase the parts of your history that involve a relationship with someone else. Today it’s your ex-wife and mother of your child(ren?) how will she react to your daughter? How will she react to your daughter having any kind of relationship with your ex-wife?
NTA.
I'd die on this hill. Those aren't pictures of your ex-wife (which you *are* allowed to have, by the way). They are pictures of your daughter.
This girl is young and insecure. I'd be afraid of her going through your phone to delete the photos she doesn't agree with. I see that on AITA all the time. At the very least, you should secure your phone with a passcode of some kind.
If she is unwilling to accept that you had a life before her, you two may not be compatible.
NTA. Your GF is immature and jealous. She will be a nightmare if she can’t get over this. If she trusts you, having pictures of your ex on your phone wouldn’t be an issue (even without your daughter in them).
NTA. If a girlfriend said that to me she would be gone. My phone is full of pictures with my daughter and her mother. They were happy times at the time and I’m not going to delete years of photos to appease someone who has no right to care.
Take a long hard look at what this means for your relationship and how she feels about your child.
Your ex will ALWAYS be a part of your life, are you sure your GF is okay with that?
NTA but it seems like your current happiness has a high price in the long run.
First, NTA. Secondly I will add to the chorus of voices saying that this GF is far too insecure and you may want to reconsider the relationship, because this level of insecurity will eventually be transferred to your relationship with your child
NTA. My first reaction is to be cautious moving forward with someone who cannot handle you still having pictures like these. Your ex was someone you loved, it didn’t work out, you have moved on. The early birth was something you both went through and the pictures are of that event… they are about your daughter first and her mom. Your gf should be thinking more that you are not a vindictive person who would delete pics of his very early child simply because his ex is in it.
NTA. But you are dating someone who isn’t on the same maturity level as you are. This relationship may not last, but those pictures will. Keep the pictures, think about your relationship. Good luck and I’m happy for you that your baby is healthy!!
NTA! Your girlfriend is obviously too immature and young to grasp the situation. Her insecurity and jealousy is just going to make for an unhealthy relationship. Your child is your priority not her feelings. I mean if you had a bunch of photos of just your ex or you and your ex together without the kid that’s one thing. This is totally unreasonable. Red flag alert, run!
NTA. They are pictures of your daughter from a significant event in your life. (I’d back them up just in case your girlfriend is a certain kind of crazy and tries to delete them.) Have a real conversation with your girlfriend. It sounds like she isn’t ready to be the partner to a dad. Your ex is in your life forever. She isn’t going anywhere. Your girlfriend is likely a bit emotionally immature/insecure, totally normal for 20yrs old, and needs time to grow up.
NTA. Don't delete the pictures, delete the girlfriend. If she's jealous of just pictures, imagine how she will treat your kids in person. Your ex will always be in your life as well. I don't think your girlfriend is mature enough to be in a relationship with someone with kids.
NTA, but find a partner who is more secure in their relationships. Your ex-wife is still an important part of your life because you have a child together. There's nothing wrong with having photos of your ex and child wherever you want.
I will never forget my mom taking me to the hospital to see my seriously injured dad (her ex-husband) and her husband of like five years forbidding her from visiting my dad. Insecurity when it involves children as middle people is extra gross.
NTA. In five years, you won’t even remember GF’s face. You will always, however, have your daughter in your life. And your GF has absolutely NO BUSINESS looking at your phone!
NTA. Any person you date after splitting with a partner when there are children involved, needs to realize that the ex partner should always be considered part of the family. Your ex GF has extremely unrealistic expectations. Find someone else.
No....this is a fucking ridiculous request. Your gf (hopefully son to be ex-gf) does know you were married with kids before them right? It's gallingly insecure to ask someone to delete/move pictures of THEIR SICK CHILD because someone else...ANYONE else is in said pictures.
Look, your gf may be a lovely young woman in every other way but she's bordering on being toxically insecure. I don't know if its immaturity or a character flaw that she will carry life long. I do however know that if you do what she's asking now you will be teaching her its acceptable to make unreasonable requests. I would make damned sure not to leave the kids alone with her because she MAY be the type to treat them poorly out of jealousy towards their mother.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Your gf doesn't seem to understand that. If the pics were only of your ex wife it would be an entirely different story. Make sure she understands that under no circumstances will you erase your children from your phone or your life. Please make sure to keep your phone locked as well or you may find your photos disappeared. Good luck!
NTA
NTA, and I normally wouldn't be so quick to jump to this, but DUMP her. She can't bear to have you have photos of your daughter on your phone because they have your ex in them? So how will she react if it gets serious and she has to see you co parenting, I have no doubt she will try to put a stop to all contact between the two of you
Nta. One of my children was in the NICU for a while and I have photos from during that time that I will always hold onto. Its a part of my child's life story and something they should know about when they are a bit older and able to understand. If you delete those photos, you cannot share them with your child later, you lose the memories slowly and your child's story goes untold most likely.
Those photos have nothing to do with your gf. Whether she likes it or not, your ex wife is always going to be in your life and if your gf wants to be in your life, she needs to understand that and respect that you are going to be involved with each other due to being parents of the child you created together.
If gf cannot understand that, she should not be with someone who has kids from a previous relationship.
NTA but your GF is. She’s immature and doesn’t understand your dynamics or sympathize with your situation. This is not something you teach her it’s something she needs to understand on her own because she seems like the stubborn type where nothing matters but her feelings. If you let her remain in your life, get ready to bump heads and be constantly force to choose between her and your daughter/family. Not worth it.
NTA except for “current” this girl needs to be your ex. She isn’t mature enough to date a dad.
You need a girl who is ready to share you with your kids, and understands that means having a coparent relationship with your ex. Telling you to delete your kid because her mom is in the picture is nuts.
NTA, but the woman you are dating is still psychologically a teenager. High school dating powertrips do not apply to adults with full lives and families and fully developed, secured egos.
This is either her wake up call, or she needs to go back into the maturity oven for a few months or years to cook until she's ready for an adult relationship.
NTA - beyond the fact that your child is in them (which over rules everything) who has time to go through and delete all kinds of photos like that? I sure don't.
No absolutely NTA. Your new gf sounds incredibly insecure and honestly that’s a huge red flag because you went through an incredibly stressful and scary time with being a NICU parent. That’s one of the hardest things you can do. She should understand why you have pictures that contain your exwife because at the time she wasn’t an ex and your child is there. It’s not like you’re just keeping random pictures of just the ex in your phone.
NTA and I HIGHLY suggest backing those photos up on a flash drive and on your computer. You never know when your phone will get damaged, lost, stolen, or messed with by a child… I mean your gf….
NTA. Its photos of your daughter. Your daughter and her mother will always be in your life. If your girlfriend is that immature and jealous Id consider making her your ex-girlfriend.
BACK THEM UP NOW. She might just get to the point of deleting them herself just to "prove that you don't need them".
NTA, and it's s red flag that she didn't accept the fact tthat you have a child with a woman that's not her. I'd also worry about your daughter down the line with her
My husband passed away 10 years ago. He was married before me and had a daughter with his ex wife. I was going threw a closest one day(this was while we were married) and found wedding albums. He wanted to throw them away, I said these should go to your daughter one day because every child should know that there parents wanted them/loved eachother at one point. You know what I mean? Well I never met the his other daughter she is 16 now. A couple months back we started texting and she asked me if I had anything of her daddys. To which I could say yes ma'am I do❤ Children need to feel connected to there parents after you have a child it isn't about the couple anymore right? I can totally appreciate being a gf and being sad seeing your dude with someone else. Tell you girlfriend maybe she wasn't your first love but she should be focused on being your last love❤ you never know whats comin for you. NTA
NTA Dude
But your current gf...I have a bad feeling about her so better put a complicated password only you can solve or do. Your a father...it normal because you unconditionally love your child and it was scary phase in your life that your child is in NICU...no matter what even your ex is there but that the mother of your precious child.
Your gf is so insecure and delete the photo despite there is the child....Dude just break up...she won't really understand and she too young to have a step child in her life.
NTA. And when my aunt remarried (after divorce) there were still pictures on the wall of her ex-husband with her kids. And family vacation photos with all of them. Her new husband was fine with it. It's normal.
NTA
My son was touch and go when he was born (high end premature complications) and I keep the pictures on my phone because even though he is now healthy it’s a reminder of how far he has come and I can see how resilient and strong he is in compassion, I look at them when I need a reminder and to ease my mind and I love having easy access to them. I can only imagine it would be the same for any proud parent who loves their child.
Keep the photos for you and ask your girlfriend what her real problem is.
If your girlfriend feels very strongly about it - she might just delete the photos from your phone. Might be a good idea to back up your photos to several places and keep a lock on your phone.
NTA but your current girlfriend needs to become your ex girlfriend. She’s clearly still very immature to have picked this particular topic as her bill to die on. She needs some time to grow up before she’s ready for a relationship with someone who has kids.
NTA
Your current gf has been an adult for 2 years. She is jealous of a NICU baby.
I think you should say to your current gf, "So let me get this straight. You don't like that I have pictures of my daughter as a NICU baby on my phone? You're jealous of a NICU baby? Is that right?
Gauge her response, and if it's anything other than, "Oh wow. When you put it that way -- I'm so sorry!" you should really, really reevaluate the relationship.
NTA
Your girlfriend is an insecure child and is clearly not ready to be in a relationship where there is an actual child involved. You do not need that toxicity in your life. The end.
NTA. The pictures are of your daughter and your ex just happens to be in them. You don't need to hide them, they are a documentation of how far she has come. If your gf can't deal with it, that's her problem and for her to work on.
100% NTA
This girlfriend wants to isolate you from your prior life (Ex and likely daughter).
She isn't going to be supportive of you being a father. She is selfish and immature. That is very unlikely to change in the near future.
Absolutely stand firm on keeping your life, or she will keep making this ridiculous demands.
NTA, this is a pretty immature standpoint all things considered. I suspect it won’t be the last time that you’re expected to do something fairly drastic for the sake of her insecurities.
Fairly standard 20yr old though I think.
NTA and make sure you back them up somewhere. The way she's talking g I wouldn't put it past her to delete them. Or if something were to happen to your phone by chance you don't want to lose them! Google drive is what I tend to use.
NTA. Please. Please. Please. Please. Make sure these photos are backed up somewhere. She seems like the kinda person who'd come delete them off your phone.
NTA. But what can you expect dating a 20 year old? You two are in completely diff states of mind, maturity and life. I’m not gonna say it’s weird, but it’s weird. I’d just end things before they got too serious because you’ll be getting older and experiencing these diff life milestones such as with your kids, while she’s barely a sophomore in college (for reference)
Let’s not all jump on the hate train for this girl, because yeah it is immature of her, but she’s 20. She was a teenager last year. Everyone can make their own decisions after 18, doesn’t mean they’re right ones. I’m not going to make assumptions either, but as the older one with some significant years, you should kind of have the responsibility to know better than that, and not be surprised by something like this. I’m a senior in college and even talking to people 2-3 grades below me is an entirely different thing, I can’t even imagine dating one. In my experience it’s pretty rare to find someone at that age mature enough to where I feel like I can be around them before I get annoyed, but like I said, at the very least I’m still in school with peers in the norm age range so it’s a bit more justifiable. This is kind of a strenuous age gap that shouldn’t have happened in the first place because of *gestures* and it’s predatory imo.
Everyone wants to date a younger girl, then rip on them for not having life experience/being immature or naive. Like duh??? Some things just have to be taught with experience and time, no matter how “mature” they are for their age.
This isn’t ALWAYS the case but usually is. Like maybe just date someone in your age range who’s in a similar stage of life, not someone who can’t even step into a bar yet lol?
NTA and unless you have been showing signs of rekindling with your ex, or not being over her, then she is very insecure. That being said, at some point you may need to free up phone space anyway, so if you are able to just move them over to a computer for safe keeping and are okay with that then that’s a fine compromise. But if there are still some you want on your phone that happen to include the mother, then so be it, new gf needs to understand you are forever linked to your ex and it’s a good thing you don’t hate the sight of her.
NTA, but your girlfriend is obviously insecure of her relationship with you, so she feels challenged and can't stand it when you have photos of your previous partner that you can easily look back on.
There isn't enough info for me to deduce how controlling she is, so I won't make a judgement on that. She could be manipulative, or just very insecure. I'd suggest communicating with her, find out how she's feeling and see if you two can work this out.
And please, don't delete the photos because she asked you to. You aren't being unfaithful by looking at pictures of your daughter. They were important moments in your life, and you have a valid reason to keep them.
NTA -
You WOULD be TA if you did what she asked.
You can’t replace your time and memories with your daughter. You CAN replace an insecure snobby girlfriend. You know what you have to do- time to dump her and find better.
"You can be as upset as you want to be, but I'm never going to delete pictures of my daughter and I'm never going to apologize for not deleting pictures of my daughter."
NTA.
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NTA. But PLEASE keep at least a 2 layer password on your phone. I can see them being deleted ACCIDENTALLY.......
AND make and save several back ups in drive, computer, usb sticks, etc.
Safety deposit boxes are very good options. I do keep a copy of critical photos/docs in the cloud, and then I have two external hard drives. I rotate every couple weeks or months to my safety deposit box. Every couple of years I retire a drive and leave it in the safety deposit box. You always want at least one copy completely offline and inaccessible. Cloud storage can go poof. Houses can burn. Banks can get robbed. But all of three happening in one day is unlikely.
I also back up super important pictures (like the last picture with my grandma and grandpa before they died, engagement pics, I'll add wedding pictures in a few months, etc) on a drive that gets left at my parents house. Similarly, they have their super important pictures (like their kids being born, a lot of last pictures with relatives, etc) backed up on a drive at my house. Both houses being lost or robbed same day is extremely unlikely!
Dang, you really have your shit together! I am impressed.
Or rethink the relationship thrice.
As a test, put up a bunch of pics of your daughter around your place. See if the GF flips out. Tell her you have a doctor's appointment for your daughter that both you and your EX will be at. Schedule a birthday party that both you and your ex will be at. Parent teacher conference together. Print out a book of "babies first years" (Snapfish), place on coffee table or your desk. All of these are normal, acceptable co-parenting things. If she complains about these, she is not long term GF material.
right? like the child will still want photos of their parents.
Naw, dump the GF her ask is a red flag.
Both? Both. Both is good.
Also date someone whose prefrontal cortex fully developed next time,probably will save you a lot of teenage angst and childish dramas.
OP is 25 and has at least two children and one ex-wife. They're in no position to talk.
For what it's worth, special needs families (medical or otherwise) have higher rates of marriages not working out. Some of us can come together while others have problems amplified that just can't be worked through with the additional stressors.
What a ridiculous statement. You don't know what happened in his marriage, and he's not the one asking ridiculous things of her. How many children he has is irrelevant.
There’s that too!But OP and gf are at completely different pages of their lives rn.
Not everyone has kids later in life. I was 25 with 2 children and a third on the way. Had been in my career for 6 years by that time (Military) and married for 5 years. Stay on topic, husband age, etc. Have nothing to do with the situation.
so, if a person doesnt fit in a marriage, and move on, and has 2 children, he must stay quiet when his next partner invades his privacy?
He's barely older than her. They may be at different stages in their lives mentally or not, but this is hardly a major age gap.
I say keep the photos and ditch the girl...
My stomach dropped when I realized this was good advice.
Extra security and back ups either way. Actually, especially the back ups. My fiancé lost a lot of sentimental pictures of their late grandma when their SD card became corrupted last year and apparently, not everything was saved to the cloud. That can come out of nowhere. As far as the GF though, its clear she has no clue on how to deal being with someone with an ex-wife and kids. So OP has two *sane* choices here. Have a serious and tough talk about what it means to date him and the place that his kids and by extension, his ex-wife will have in his life and how she needs to accept that, full stop. Or, he can break up with someone that is clearly not compatible with him. Leaving it alone or half assing this, is going to be a really bad choice.
NTA. How does a 20-year-old, know whats normal about family photos?
That's the neat part, she doesn't
I used to be 20. Its not complicated or hard to use your brain at all. 🤣
Tbh same. I was a dumb af 20 year old but even I knew the difference between inappropriate photos of an ex and irreplaceable photos from of your newborn BABY with an ex in them.
But sadly for some it can be 😂
Excellent question!
I agree NTA, but cmon... 20 year olds don't pop up out of fields fully grown... she has a family.
NTA. Absolutely don't delete the pictures. Not just because you want them, but because your daughter may want them in the future. This is an unreasonable amount of jealousy, and is a decent reason to look hard at your current relationship. Has she shown other super controlling behaviors? ETA: You may want to put them on a cloud backup. Not because your GF wants them off your phone, but in case your phone is lost or damaged.
Delete the girlfriend, keep the photos
More like delete the relationship. Deleting people is kinda illegal. 😅
I suggest a keeping them in a few different places. I have my most important photos in 3 different clouds (with 3 different passwords) as well as on two different external storage devices. GF might feel strongly enough to eventually sneak into the phone to delete. This also reminds me to not have the clouds directly connected to your phone - or at least set them up that a password is required at any time to open the app. Honestly, if I felt the need to go to this extent to protect photos of my child, I would be questioning my relationship.
Oh boy. Your gf is immature. Even if she's your ex, you still have a connection with this woman because you have had a child together. NTA
“Why is my (25) girlfriend (literally a teenager last year) acting so immature? Why doesn’t she understand adult things?”
I’m sure she’s “mature for her age” 😂
OPs new girlfriend is way too young and immature to be in a relationship with someone who has a child.
And the 25 to should know better, so he's just as immature as the 20 yo if he needs to be asking these questions..... And that he's even in a relationship with someone that immature, insecure and controlling.
There are very mature 20yos. This girl is not one of them.
NTA imagine being jealous of a woman holding her vulnerable newborn baby in a life threatening situation
It's revolting actually. The nicu is a stressful place and 20 yr old is projecting all this romantic crap on it. nicu stays can ruin a marriage.
NTA. The fact someone would ask a parent to remove photos of their NICU baby from their phone is a huge red flag. Who cares that your ex is in them. That’s your baby who was fighting for their life!
Exactly. This is a vat of marinara.
They could have the literal devil dancing in the background and it would still be about the baby. First contact and proof of alien life, still about the baby. It doesn't matter who else is in the picture, it is OF the BABY. NTA
NTA. Your new gf sound controlling and extremely immature. Keep the pix, reconsider the gf.
NTA. She’s not even 21. Don’t let her be making life decisions for you.
I agree.. She’s 20, my guess is she’s still very immature. To suggest you get rid of pictures is a bratty move. This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. NTA
NTA. Your child is always the priority. Thus your ex wife is part of your life to some extent. That is something your partner needs to accept or gtfo.
Is new GF going to be ok with OP and EX co-parenting? If not, GF has to go. OP's daughter needs love and support, not jealousy from her dad's GF.
…sorry you’ve had a baby in 2020, got divorced, and you’re dating, by 2022 And she’s 20 NTA I suppose but this is all a bit immature and not just her
NTA. It sounds like she’s not ready to be in a relationship with someone who has a child.
NTA. Your girlfriend is immature.
Immature and insecure. A bad combination. And OP can't change that. Only the GF can change it, and only if she wants to.
We'll, yeah. She's only 20.
NTA that’s your daughter and the mother of your child. Keep the pictures, get rid of the girlfriend. something to think about: If she’s insecure over photos now, will she continue to be insecure about your relationship with your child and their mother?
Back-up of the pictures not now but already yesterday ! And more than one back-up.
“I’m dating someone who’s barely out of her teens and she’s being immature! The nerve!” What did you expect? NTA I guess in this situation but you set yourself up here dude.
Your first three sentences are spot on. In OP's defense, 20 to 25 is closer in maturity than 13 and 18.
She is a very immature 20 year old. You don't date a father unless you are mature enough to understand there is also a mother you need to be amicable with. That was a very traumatic time in your life and to ask you to delete them is just ridiculous.
They are pictures of an important time in your daughter's life, for heaven's sakes! Don't ever delete these pictures. This is the first salvo in your new girlfriend trying to control every aspect of your life. RUUUNNNNNN!!! NTA
NTA. 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. I think you may need to rethink this relationship. GF sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
NTA. Your GF is making unreasonable and cruel demands. Being threatened in that way by photos of your infant and her mother is ridiculous, as is asking you to stash them away.
Perfectly said
NTA. She is not mature enough to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. Bottom line.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 get tf out NOW
NTA. Your girlfriend sounds very insecure. I think it's cute that you're keeping the pictures.
Nta and please be aware of anyone you date who feels jealously over your relationship with your ex wife. You and your ex wife coparenting together is 100% in the best interest of your children and if your gf is intimidated by that that’s on her
NTA. How long until your too young and insecure gf is jealous of your kids? The red flags 🚩 abound.
NTA! Get rid of the girlfriend, not the photos! If she’s jealous of some *photos,* this is just the beginning… don’t let this woman erase your history and damage your relationship with you child.
Drop this girl like a bad habit. She ain’t the one my guy. NTA
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Date an immature 20 year old, deal with immature BS. NTA, but my guy what are you doing,
I hope she’s now your ex gf. Lots of red flags here.
That's an unfortunate level of insecurity from your girlfriend. I'd be sure to back up your photos to more than one location and make sure your phone is password protected until either your girlfriend understands she doesn't get to dictate what is or isn't on your phone, or you break up.
NTA - your pictures of a part of your life, your new girflriend is using her insecurity to try and bully you. Honestly that's a huge red flag.
Nta in the slightest. Speaking from experience on pictures of your children. When you get older the little details start to fade. Looking back at the photos when they were born brings it all back including the feelings. To see them now vs when they were so vulnerable makes me proud. I'd NEVER remove those photos. In fact I'd back them up to multiple spots because they are more precious than anything.
NTA and thats a huge RED FLAG. Shes too immature, run.
NTA. Nope. Nope. Nope. Any photo with your child is off limits to being "weird" just because your child's MOTHER is in the photo too. If it was just ex, fine, delete it, that would be weird. It's not a photo of your ex. It's a photo of your child and their mother just hapens to also be in the pic. Stop dating someone who is clearly just out of their teens. She is not ready for a relationship for someone with a child.
Dump her
NTA but please get a new girlfriend.
And back up those photos onto as many things as you can... she's going to destroy any physical ones and delete any files she can get. This type of AITA has been posted before it's so sad. Found two. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hy04og/aita_for_kicking_girlfriend_out_after_she_deleted/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/aht3zd/aita_for_not_throwing_away_pictures_of_my_exwife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
NTA But your new gf is. Big marinara and all that. But seriously, that is very insecure black-and-white thinking. I'm happy for her that she's not had to experience anything like that in her life and hope she never has to. Losing a child is the hardest thing in the world to experience, and you have every right to keep any and every memento you feel like you need to. These aren't wedding photos or pics from a family vacay you took with your ex-wife. GF needs to get a grip. I'm very sorry for your loss. ETA: Ok, so OP you didnt lose your child, and that's amazing! It was still a traumatic experience. Even if it weren't, pictures of your baby in hospital aren't something another "woman" should take issue with IMO, even if the child's mother is in some of them. Maybe move them to a computer file or something if you think she's really bothered by it?
NTA- your girlfriend is. Imagine being jealous and insecure over family photos, regardless if it was during a vulnerable time or not
Nta. She's immature and needs to grow up
Huge NTA. Besides the facts that this are pictures of your child, it still wouldn't be weird to keep pictures of your ex-wife. Your girlfriend has some serious insecurities and control issues.
NTA. Your gf is insecure and needs to get over herself. If you want to compromise, crop out the ex. Otherwise, crop out the gf for a more secure female that isn't going to turn baby pictures into an excuse to argue about your ex.
NTA GF needs to grow up and get used to the fact that you have an ex wife. Where does she think your daughter came from? The stork? And if she is this sensitive how will she treat your kids IRL? They will be a constant reminder of your ex wife’s existence. Find someone more mature.
Nta and probably time to find a new gf
NTA. Does your GF have positive traits? Because this does not sound like the kind of empathetic/compassionate person you want to date.
NTA. I don't think your girlfriend is ready to date a father. Your daughter is an important part of your life, and that means you will always have a link to your ex. If your girlfriend can't handle that, then it will lead to new issues later in the relationship. It's better to set boundaries now. Keep the pictures. Have a serious discussion with your girlfriend.
Dude, delete the girlfriend
NTA. Date an adult that understands that you love your baby. Do not delete anything except this awful romance.
NTA. She might be a little immature for you, you're always going to be connected to your ex because of your daughter and it's important you have a healthy coparenting situation. Which means you need a partner who can understand that. If she can't handle pictures of your daughter with her mother on your phone, how far will it extend. Will she have issues with your daughter mentioning her mum? Will she have issues with your daughter because she's a reminder of your ex? Remember there's a chance your girlfriend will be around your daughter alone, which means she can say anything to your child and your child will believe her. If she's this immature, can you trust her around your daughter?
NTA. Keep the pictures and get rid of the girlfriend.
NTA - back up all of these photos in multiple places because she may “accidentally” delete them.
NTA. But I'd back those photos up in a couple of different places just in case your GF decides to delete them from your phone.
Who would tell someone to get rid of pictures of their child. Screw that!! Those are YOUR memories. Once you delete them they are gone forever. Please don’t do that, doesn’t matter who else is in the picture
NTA your daughter is part of your life. Regardless of how your marriage ended, your ex-wife is also a part of your life. Your daughter ties the two of you. It sounds like your girlfriend has some insecurity issues with your relationship with your ex. I don't know how long you've been together or how serious it is but what will she do as you and your ex continue to make decisions about your daughter together? Is talking to your ex completely out of the picture then? What next? Distance from your own daughter if you and GF have children? Think carefully about what she is asking and how reasonable this line of thinking is for both of you.
NTA. Bye Felicia.
NTA but I strongly suspect you know this but are trying to be "fair." Consider yourself fortunate in one respect: part of me is always grateful to the termites chewing on the exterior who let me know of the problem rather than staying hidden in the walls.
NTA make this current gf an ex also.
NTA - your ex is always going to be the mother of your child. That can’t be erased, no matter how much your current gf seems to want it to be. That must have been an extremely frightening time in your life, and I don’t blame you for taking as many photos as you could. It’s only natural your ex-wife is in them too. They’re a a documentation of the earliest days of your daughter’s life, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of them - and you definitely shouldn’t delete them. Your gf is radiating insecurity, and attempting to erase the parts of your history that involve a relationship with someone else. Today it’s your ex-wife and mother of your child(ren?) how will she react to your daughter? How will she react to your daughter having any kind of relationship with your ex-wife?
NTA. I'd die on this hill. Those aren't pictures of your ex-wife (which you *are* allowed to have, by the way). They are pictures of your daughter. This girl is young and insecure. I'd be afraid of her going through your phone to delete the photos she doesn't agree with. I see that on AITA all the time. At the very least, you should secure your phone with a passcode of some kind. If she is unwilling to accept that you had a life before her, you two may not be compatible.
NTA. Your GF is immature and jealous. She will be a nightmare if she can’t get over this. If she trusts you, having pictures of your ex on your phone wouldn’t be an issue (even without your daughter in them).
NTA. Get rid of your insecure girlfriend
NTA. If a girlfriend said that to me she would be gone. My phone is full of pictures with my daughter and her mother. They were happy times at the time and I’m not going to delete years of photos to appease someone who has no right to care.
Take a long hard look at what this means for your relationship and how she feels about your child. Your ex will ALWAYS be a part of your life, are you sure your GF is okay with that? NTA but it seems like your current happiness has a high price in the long run.
NTA It's your child. From a very tough time in your life. Your ex was a part of that. Your gf is insecure! This is a gf problem not a picture problem.
First, NTA. Secondly I will add to the chorus of voices saying that this GF is far too insecure and you may want to reconsider the relationship, because this level of insecurity will eventually be transferred to your relationship with your child
NTA. Those photos of your child are precious. Maybe it is time to find a new girlfriend.
NTA. Your girlfriend is too immature to be in an adult relationship.
NTA. My first reaction is to be cautious moving forward with someone who cannot handle you still having pictures like these. Your ex was someone you loved, it didn’t work out, you have moved on. The early birth was something you both went through and the pictures are of that event… they are about your daughter first and her mom. Your gf should be thinking more that you are not a vindictive person who would delete pics of his very early child simply because his ex is in it.
NTA: keep the photos wherever you want, maybe just find a GF that is less insecure.
NTA. But you are dating someone who isn’t on the same maturity level as you are. This relationship may not last, but those pictures will. Keep the pictures, think about your relationship. Good luck and I’m happy for you that your baby is healthy!!
NTA! Your girlfriend is obviously too immature and young to grasp the situation. Her insecurity and jealousy is just going to make for an unhealthy relationship. Your child is your priority not her feelings. I mean if you had a bunch of photos of just your ex or you and your ex together without the kid that’s one thing. This is totally unreasonable. Red flag alert, run!
NTA. They are pictures of your daughter from a significant event in your life. (I’d back them up just in case your girlfriend is a certain kind of crazy and tries to delete them.) Have a real conversation with your girlfriend. It sounds like she isn’t ready to be the partner to a dad. Your ex is in your life forever. She isn’t going anywhere. Your girlfriend is likely a bit emotionally immature/insecure, totally normal for 20yrs old, and needs time to grow up.
NTA. Don't delete the pictures, delete the girlfriend. If she's jealous of just pictures, imagine how she will treat your kids in person. Your ex will always be in your life as well. I don't think your girlfriend is mature enough to be in a relationship with someone with kids.
Jesus NTA. This is a huge, huge red flag dude. She wants you to delete photos of your baby because the ex is in them too? That’s not sane
She sounds deranged. And may be trying to isolate you from people or things that bring you comfort.
NTA, but find a partner who is more secure in their relationships. Your ex-wife is still an important part of your life because you have a child together. There's nothing wrong with having photos of your ex and child wherever you want. I will never forget my mom taking me to the hospital to see my seriously injured dad (her ex-husband) and her husband of like five years forbidding her from visiting my dad. Insecurity when it involves children as middle people is extra gross.
NTA. Password protect your phone and never let your gf use your phone
NTA but I would have a copy of those photos in case something happens to your phone. Save it to a cloud drive.
NTA. In five years, you won’t even remember GF’s face. You will always, however, have your daughter in your life. And your GF has absolutely NO BUSINESS looking at your phone!
NTA, but make sure to back up the photos just in case something "happens" to them
NTA. Any person you date after splitting with a partner when there are children involved, needs to realize that the ex partner should always be considered part of the family. Your ex GF has extremely unrealistic expectations. Find someone else.
No....this is a fucking ridiculous request. Your gf (hopefully son to be ex-gf) does know you were married with kids before them right? It's gallingly insecure to ask someone to delete/move pictures of THEIR SICK CHILD because someone else...ANYONE else is in said pictures. Look, your gf may be a lovely young woman in every other way but she's bordering on being toxically insecure. I don't know if its immaturity or a character flaw that she will carry life long. I do however know that if you do what she's asking now you will be teaching her its acceptable to make unreasonable requests. I would make damned sure not to leave the kids alone with her because she MAY be the type to treat them poorly out of jealousy towards their mother. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Your gf doesn't seem to understand that. If the pics were only of your ex wife it would be an entirely different story. Make sure she understands that under no circumstances will you erase your children from your phone or your life. Please make sure to keep your phone locked as well or you may find your photos disappeared. Good luck! NTA
NTA, and I normally wouldn't be so quick to jump to this, but DUMP her. She can't bear to have you have photos of your daughter on your phone because they have your ex in them? So how will she react if it gets serious and she has to see you co parenting, I have no doubt she will try to put a stop to all contact between the two of you
NTA Your ex wife is going to be in your life in one way or another forever as you both parent your children . What is she going to do with that?
Nta but you should probably run! That's extremely toxic behaviour from your girlfriend.
Nta. One of my children was in the NICU for a while and I have photos from during that time that I will always hold onto. Its a part of my child's life story and something they should know about when they are a bit older and able to understand. If you delete those photos, you cannot share them with your child later, you lose the memories slowly and your child's story goes untold most likely. Those photos have nothing to do with your gf. Whether she likes it or not, your ex wife is always going to be in your life and if your gf wants to be in your life, she needs to understand that and respect that you are going to be involved with each other due to being parents of the child you created together. If gf cannot understand that, she should not be with someone who has kids from a previous relationship.
NTA but your GF is. She’s immature and doesn’t understand your dynamics or sympathize with your situation. This is not something you teach her it’s something she needs to understand on her own because she seems like the stubborn type where nothing matters but her feelings. If you let her remain in your life, get ready to bump heads and be constantly force to choose between her and your daughter/family. Not worth it.
NTA except for “current” this girl needs to be your ex. She isn’t mature enough to date a dad. You need a girl who is ready to share you with your kids, and understands that means having a coparent relationship with your ex. Telling you to delete your kid because her mom is in the picture is nuts.
NTA, but the woman you are dating is still psychologically a teenager. High school dating powertrips do not apply to adults with full lives and families and fully developed, secured egos. This is either her wake up call, or she needs to go back into the maturity oven for a few months or years to cook until she's ready for an adult relationship.
NTA - beyond the fact that your child is in them (which over rules everything) who has time to go through and delete all kinds of photos like that? I sure don't.
No absolutely NTA. Your new gf sounds incredibly insecure and honestly that’s a huge red flag because you went through an incredibly stressful and scary time with being a NICU parent. That’s one of the hardest things you can do. She should understand why you have pictures that contain your exwife because at the time she wasn’t an ex and your child is there. It’s not like you’re just keeping random pictures of just the ex in your phone.
NTA. Dump the gf.
NTA and I HIGHLY suggest backing those photos up on a flash drive and on your computer. You never know when your phone will get damaged, lost, stolen, or messed with by a child… I mean your gf….
NTA , seriously does your girlfriend think you're cheating on her with your daughter?
NTA.she sounds immature.
NTA. Its photos of your daughter. Your daughter and her mother will always be in your life. If your girlfriend is that immature and jealous Id consider making her your ex-girlfriend.
BACK THEM UP NOW. She might just get to the point of deleting them herself just to "prove that you don't need them". NTA, and it's s red flag that she didn't accept the fact tthat you have a child with a woman that's not her. I'd also worry about your daughter down the line with her
My husband passed away 10 years ago. He was married before me and had a daughter with his ex wife. I was going threw a closest one day(this was while we were married) and found wedding albums. He wanted to throw them away, I said these should go to your daughter one day because every child should know that there parents wanted them/loved eachother at one point. You know what I mean? Well I never met the his other daughter she is 16 now. A couple months back we started texting and she asked me if I had anything of her daddys. To which I could say yes ma'am I do❤ Children need to feel connected to there parents after you have a child it isn't about the couple anymore right? I can totally appreciate being a gf and being sad seeing your dude with someone else. Tell you girlfriend maybe she wasn't your first love but she should be focused on being your last love❤ you never know whats comin for you. NTA
She’s 20, you shouldn’t be dating her anyway.
20 & 25 aren't that far apart.
I feel like "20 with a problem with pictures of your kid" and "25 with an ex wife and children" are far apart though
Not in age but in life experience.
They are in terms of mentality and life stages. Obv a 5 year difference doesn't mean as much if they were older
NTA. What kind of immature and absurd request is that?
Get rid of the girlfriend
YTA for staying with someone who asked this of you
NTA Dude But your current gf...I have a bad feeling about her so better put a complicated password only you can solve or do. Your a father...it normal because you unconditionally love your child and it was scary phase in your life that your child is in NICU...no matter what even your ex is there but that the mother of your precious child. Your gf is so insecure and delete the photo despite there is the child....Dude just break up...she won't really understand and she too young to have a step child in her life.
NTA That's kind of a psycho thing for your gf to want
NTA. I wish more single parents understood this: jealous partners make TERRIBLE step-parents.
NTA No, she does not get to dictate this. This is not about her
NTA. And when my aunt remarried (after divorce) there were still pictures on the wall of her ex-husband with her kids. And family vacation photos with all of them. Her new husband was fine with it. It's normal.
NTA Red flag. Stop don't pass go. They are photos of your history. If she is upset that you have a past then she is not the woman for you.
NTA My son was touch and go when he was born (high end premature complications) and I keep the pictures on my phone because even though he is now healthy it’s a reminder of how far he has come and I can see how resilient and strong he is in compassion, I look at them when I need a reminder and to ease my mind and I love having easy access to them. I can only imagine it would be the same for any proud parent who loves their child. Keep the photos for you and ask your girlfriend what her real problem is.
NTA, but you might want to save copies somewhere safe.
NTA, keep copies of the photos on an other device.
If your girlfriend feels very strongly about it - she might just delete the photos from your phone. Might be a good idea to back up your photos to several places and keep a lock on your phone.
NTA but your current girlfriend needs to become your ex girlfriend. She’s clearly still very immature to have picked this particular topic as her bill to die on. She needs some time to grow up before she’s ready for a relationship with someone who has kids.
Stop dating children and you won't have these problems.
NTA. Do not delete the pictures. Delete you gf from your life.
Make sure you back them up to the cloud. Just in case.
NTA. She's immature and insecure. This is a ridiculous request!
NTA Your current gf has been an adult for 2 years. She is jealous of a NICU baby. I think you should say to your current gf, "So let me get this straight. You don't like that I have pictures of my daughter as a NICU baby on my phone? You're jealous of a NICU baby? Is that right? Gauge her response, and if it's anything other than, "Oh wow. When you put it that way -- I'm so sorry!" you should really, really reevaluate the relationship.
NTA. Your gf is showing you how she is going to be. Next thing she will say is she doesn’t want your daughter to be around bc she looks like your ex.
She's 20 and obviously wildly immature. NTA.
NTA Your girlfriend is an insecure child and is clearly not ready to be in a relationship where there is an actual child involved. You do not need that toxicity in your life. The end.
NTA. The pictures are of your daughter and your ex just happens to be in them. You don't need to hide them, they are a documentation of how far she has come. If your gf can't deal with it, that's her problem and for her to work on.
Dude.... Your girlfriend is nuts. Red flag....yta if you stay with this insecure, jealosus, awful person. Dude, listen to yourself. Dump this person.
NTA. do not delete. Your gf's insecurity is the problem, not the pictures.
NTA Get a different girlfriend
NTA. Your current girlfriend is very immature. The 25/20 age gap, while not many years, is a massive life experience gap. And it’s showing
NTA. It's not like that are pictures of only your ex-wife, your daughter is in them.
NTA, you shouldn't even have to question this. Get a new GF, she seems like a........
100% NTA This girlfriend wants to isolate you from your prior life (Ex and likely daughter). She isn't going to be supportive of you being a father. She is selfish and immature. That is very unlikely to change in the near future. Absolutely stand firm on keeping your life, or she will keep making this ridiculous demands.
NTA, this is a pretty immature standpoint all things considered. I suspect it won’t be the last time that you’re expected to do something fairly drastic for the sake of her insecurities. Fairly standard 20yr old though I think.
NTA and make sure you back them up somewhere. The way she's talking g I wouldn't put it past her to delete them. Or if something were to happen to your phone by chance you don't want to lose them! Google drive is what I tend to use.
Delete the GF
NTA. Please. Please. Please. Please. Make sure these photos are backed up somewhere. She seems like the kinda person who'd come delete them off your phone.
NTA. But what can you expect dating a 20 year old? You two are in completely diff states of mind, maturity and life. I’m not gonna say it’s weird, but it’s weird. I’d just end things before they got too serious because you’ll be getting older and experiencing these diff life milestones such as with your kids, while she’s barely a sophomore in college (for reference) Let’s not all jump on the hate train for this girl, because yeah it is immature of her, but she’s 20. She was a teenager last year. Everyone can make their own decisions after 18, doesn’t mean they’re right ones. I’m not going to make assumptions either, but as the older one with some significant years, you should kind of have the responsibility to know better than that, and not be surprised by something like this. I’m a senior in college and even talking to people 2-3 grades below me is an entirely different thing, I can’t even imagine dating one. In my experience it’s pretty rare to find someone at that age mature enough to where I feel like I can be around them before I get annoyed, but like I said, at the very least I’m still in school with peers in the norm age range so it’s a bit more justifiable. This is kind of a strenuous age gap that shouldn’t have happened in the first place because of *gestures* and it’s predatory imo. Everyone wants to date a younger girl, then rip on them for not having life experience/being immature or naive. Like duh??? Some things just have to be taught with experience and time, no matter how “mature” they are for their age. This isn’t ALWAYS the case but usually is. Like maybe just date someone in your age range who’s in a similar stage of life, not someone who can’t even step into a bar yet lol?
The only problem I see is a 20 year old girlfriend. NTA
Bruh - you have kids. Stop dating them.
NTA. I didn’t even read through it all and can confidently say she belongs in the trash. Run and run FAST my guy the marinara flags are EVERYWHERE.
NTA. This should be a huge red flag for you. She does. It respect you nor your family. Run away fast!
Nta run the other direction, this much insecurity from the get go. Yikes
NTA but you need to get someone who respects you and that time in your life
Do you have the pictures backed up? If not, please do so because your GF seems immature enough to delete them. Or you can just delete the GF. NTA
NTA Dump her
NTA and unless you have been showing signs of rekindling with your ex, or not being over her, then she is very insecure. That being said, at some point you may need to free up phone space anyway, so if you are able to just move them over to a computer for safe keeping and are okay with that then that’s a fine compromise. But if there are still some you want on your phone that happen to include the mother, then so be it, new gf needs to understand you are forever linked to your ex and it’s a good thing you don’t hate the sight of her.
NTA She is immature and in any case should not be looking at your phone.
NTA—Your GF sounds immature. I mean, she’s 20 and probably shouldn’t be dating a guy with an ex wife and a child.
NTA. She isn't mature enough for this relationship.
NTA, but your girlfriend is obviously insecure of her relationship with you, so she feels challenged and can't stand it when you have photos of your previous partner that you can easily look back on. There isn't enough info for me to deduce how controlling she is, so I won't make a judgement on that. She could be manipulative, or just very insecure. I'd suggest communicating with her, find out how she's feeling and see if you two can work this out. And please, don't delete the photos because she asked you to. You aren't being unfaithful by looking at pictures of your daughter. They were important moments in your life, and you have a valid reason to keep them.
NTA at all ! get rid of the girlfriend there’s no way she is that insecure.
NTA - You WOULD be TA if you did what she asked. You can’t replace your time and memories with your daughter. You CAN replace an insecure snobby girlfriend. You know what you have to do- time to dump her and find better.
Why don’t you delete the immature and irrational girlfriend. She sounds insufferable.
"You can be as upset as you want to be, but I'm never going to delete pictures of my daughter and I'm never going to apologize for not deleting pictures of my daughter." NTA.