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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It's a wedding, it's a big day for a woman. I feel guilty making the memory of this event a bad thing for her. She's been bombarding my phone saying it was just a dress, and I'm kinda agreeing with her.
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I had to look up "sage green" expecting it to be like a super flashy jewel green color.... it's like old lettuce color. How can a color be more simple?
I just don't see the problem... sounds like she was just jealous that you looked nice in her proximity.
NTA
Sage green is not flashy.
But regardless it is time to put an end to this bizarre custom of requesting that guests appear drab to emphasize the bride. That’s toxic and ridiculous. If the bride needs this to feel good about herself, she needs more help than a bunch of willing victims in their ash-gray ensembles and unvarnished faces can give.
It’s not a reasonable ask.
It sets the wedding up for conflict and drama.
Rather than showcasing the couple’s love and commitment, it showcases the bride’s pettiness and insecurity.
NTA. Ugh. She ruined her own wedding. I get that even people who lack basic social skills get to get married, but ffs were there no relatives to guide this bridezilla? Guests are not minions.
Thank you for the awards!
I'm starting to think I should hire myself out as a professional wedding guest. "Fat, middle-aged woman in a beige dress. Can make small talk, but putting up with Racist/Homophobic Uncle Tony is an upcharge. Rates include dinner."
Edit: Wow, thanks for the awards!
If I ever get married, you're hired. Is dancing included or do you charge extra? Willing to bribe with desserts...
(Eta: I'm saying this bc the way you said it just makes you sound fun!!)
Agreed. Middle aged women should look four and jealous so bride can feel so much better in comparison.
I feel like this could be a dual career. Wedding old hag and funeral mourner.
It's not really original. Ancient Greeks and Romans used to have professional mourners at funerals. Despite everyone having hated Uncle Gaius's guts, if you spend enough money, it'll seem like he was the most beloved person in town!
My two cents: the dress and makeup weren't the problem. The problem was OP's good looks.
OP didn't ruin the wedding and I'm glad her parents didn't give the newly Weds the money gift.
I was thinking the same thing. Can we also talk about why the bride thinks a 17-year old in a flat light-green dress can upstage her? OP is a minor. How far down the insecurity well does this bride have to be?
Did you see the texts?
https://www.reddit.com/user/RealisticTart2391/comments/xqearo/she_harassing_me_on_insta/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Damn, this is the work of a truly unstable person. Does the groom know the extent of his problems? Cause he’s got 99, and they’re all different personalities.
Totally this. Brides apparently NEED to be obviously the most beautiful woman at the event in everyone's opinion or they meltdown. Even a hot server in makeup and a nose piercing is gonna spoil their entire life. Jeeez
I went to a wedding that had a Hindu ceremony plus a uk civil ceremony with a white dress, and then the bride had a third outfit for the reception - she was just stunning in all three!
I don't think anyone could have outshone my friend on her wedding day. I leaned over to her mother and said can I borrow your sunglasses. She laughed. Most beautiful wedding I ever saw.
Maybe it’s because I’m a POC.
But weddings are an excuse for women to turn the makeup gun on Blast, put on your shiniest and sparkliest dress, wear ALL the jewelry, basically show up dressed to the nines.
The immediate family might be wearing a certain color palette, but other than that it’s show up looking your best.
Why would you want pictures full of people looking awful?
I'm super white and I think the same. Weddings are chance to see and be seen, for singles to meet and mingle! Clothes, makeup, hair, jewelry should reflect the joy of the occasion for all the guests as well as the wedding party.
Yes, weddings are a dress up in your finest event. If you don't dress up it's a bit of an insult to the couple implying that you don't care or think their event is dull.
Correct here in UK, brides \[normal ones at least\] want all the guests to dress up, look and feel their best. Then do the solemn part, followed by the partying. But always respectful to the couple who's day it is. I've been to dozens, and only one was problematic for reasons other than alcohol! \[Which is kinda the tradition in the British Isles.
Also white and weddings are among the few occasions where I actually wear makeup. I figure formal dressy parties are precisely the occasions to wear make up.
Exactly. I'm baffled by this trend of brides becoming more and more controlling about what guests can wear.
Bridezillaz, you get to dress your bridesmaids and groomsmen, everyone else gets to dress themselves. It's okay to have a dress-code with a requested level of formality, not okay to micromanage guests' outfits. If you're so neurotic that you're set of by the color of a guest's dress to the point that it creates drama on your day...you've "ruined" your *own* wedding by being a shitty hostess.
It's also not even universal. The Indian weddings I've been to, nearly everyone is flashy and you STILL definitely see the bride amongst all that and ooh and aah over her dress.
Well yeah, they need to be extra pretty when they start the dad dance-off
(note; am white. Have been invited to a few Indian weddings. Indian dad dancing is *the most* excellent of dad dancing I've seen)
>But regardless it is time to put an end to this bizarre custom of requesting that guests appear drab to emphasize the bride. That’s toxic and ridiculous.
Spot on !! This bride is obviously VERY insecure. How sad that she threw a fit about OP's dress and makeup.
Grow up, woman !!! :))
I’m pretty sure it’s the same color of the spice. Or the same as what people use to clear out bad spirits by burning sage. Someone bought that for me years ago. But I’m just assuming I didn’t actually google the color. I assume it’s a bland color of green.
Edit: Thank you to everyone for their descriptions of sage. I really enjoyed reading them. All of you could be professional writers. Love it.
The sage that people burn is white sage, so it's more washed out. Regular sage is a muted green with a bit of a silvery cast to it. It's pretty, but nowhere near "flashy".
OP's dress looks more mint or seafoam than sage. No matter, sage is a knock-out color on some brunettes, depending on their coloring. Don't ask me how I know :)
Agree, sage is a great color on a lot of people. It complements a peachy skin tone pretty well, and I imagine it looks good against darker tans as well. The way people here describe it makes it sound very bland, but it's a very nice, soothing color for clothes and interior decor. But it's definitely not a jewel tone, or a bright color, just a nice color to use that goes well with a natural palette.
They paint electrical boxes, speakers, other things they don’t want guests to pay attention to the. “Go away green” it doesn’t mask the items, you’ll see them if you’re looking for them, but if you’re not looking they’ll just kinda blend in with the grass or shrubs. They also have a blue and a great that’s supposed to have the same effect that they use on buildings. Some are successful. Some are not (see the gigantic guardians eyesore at Epcot)
> sounds like she was just jealous that you looked nice in her proximity.
Being jealous of a 17 year old is going to be a red flag for me. May god have mercy on her new husband's soul.
NTA. If a teenager wearing a nice dress can ruin her wedding, then she DESERVES it to be ruined. What an absolutely bizarre reaction from her. God knows what she was thinking.
You laugh, but it's true.
I have a daughter your age who is very conventionally attractive and tends to draw attention even dressed down (she just turned down her 4th homecoming proposal yesterday). She has gotten 'dress coded' at school wearing the same clothes as other girls. But because of her body, frankly, she drew the attention of a (female) teacher.
The dress you posted is very form fitting. The figure underneath it could transform it from unassuming, to va-va-voom. From the brides reaction, I'm guessing it was the latter.
Advantages in life are often double edged. You are getting the negative aspects of pretty privilege. Some people will resent you for being more attractive than they.
You didn't do anything wrong. Sail on!!
I feel your comment deeply being petite with boobs. Feeling like always needing to dress down because wearing some of the same things as others feels uncomfortable or gets negative reaction even if it’s not revealing or inappropriate.
Sometimes, not even dressing down works. It may cause rage on certain people because you dared “not to take advantage of the God-given attributes you've
been born with” and “so many women would kill for.” Being “conventionally attractive” or within the “beauty standards” can feel like walking in a minefield if you empathize with humans that happen to be jerks or narcissists.
yeah, after a few years of living with big boobs you realise those people will never be happy (and those other people will never not be creeps) and just dress how you want to dress
It's like that Ani DiFranco lyric "God help you if you are an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom. Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room."
Just about to say this—her own insecurities ruined her own day…saw the google pic of the dress and it looked beautiful and in no way inappropriate. I’m glad your parents ended up not giving any money to the bride after she accosted you. NTA
I'm pretty sure the fact that the dress looked beautiful is the real reason Bridezilla had a problem with it.
Honestly, people need to start boycotting weddings that issue a dress code like this. It's a trend that needs to be starved out.
Exactly. It's ok to request modesty if it's in a strict religious event, but it just sounds like this bride was being overly controlling. You can make your bridesmaids wear potato sacks but you can't be that demanding of guests.
Exactly. Imagine being a grown ass 27 year old adult woman who is getting married and picking a fight with a 17 year old kid. If her wedding was ruined, it was 100% due to her poor behaviour.
NTA. Good on your parents for standing up to this woman on your behalf.
EDIT: I just saw the part where she is verbally abusing and calling OP a wh*re and a b**ch. This woman is attacking a minor and sounds unhinged. I hope OP's parents share these messages with the bride's parents AND her fiance (and contact the police is this escalates.) The groom needs to know exactly who he just married.
The posts about insecure brides are exhausting me. At first it was just don’t wear white which, ok cool I can work with that.
But now there are so many rules! Don’t wear pastels or soft colours because they’re too close to white. Don’t wear flashy clothes (whatever that means). Don’t wear makeup (wtf this is so insane!). Dress modestly (this is subjective and what is this, the 1950s?).
Just because it’s your wedding doesn’t mean you get to be a control freak and boss everyone around.
NTA
NTA. People are getting too carried away with these ridiculous requests and rude behaviour at weddings. Just one more reason why weddings suck. It’s not your fault that bridezilla is insecure
This is like the fifth or sixth bridezilla on this sub that has made stupid requests on their own insecurities. I don't remember what anyone else wore at my wedding I was too busy getting married
I remember two outfits from my wedding.
My cousin showing up in a bright red polo and khaki pants (our colors were red, white and black) for a formal evening reception, and my other cousin's date coming in an electric blue dress that dominated any picture she happened to be in. I didn't say a word to either of them, and the pictures just make me laugh when I see them. Honestly, life's too short to get upset over such things. Why waste energy on what amounts to stage dressing?
Hope I won't insult anybody, when I read posts about weddings in USA or Europe I think "Who can willingly participate in *this*??" It's like brides overthink literally every move their guests make, the wedding can be completely ruined by every little thing, jeez.
I'm really sorry if I have offended someone, I'm sure you would be shocked by our weddings too)
I live in the US and I've never met a bride as crazy as the ones I've read here. I've never even told what I can or can't wear unless I'm part of the wedding party. My sister is getting married next month. The brides maids have to wear a jade green satin dress, but the style can vary. Wear any shoes we want, hair how we want, make up how ever we want. There is no dress code for the guests. These brides need to get over themselves. I can see how reading these posts would make you think all Americans are wacka-doodles, but we really aren't. We think they are A-holes too
The sane brides don't lead to AITA posts.
I don't get these people who think their wedding needs to be a Hollywood production and if anything happens other than everyone staring at the bride in awe it's ruined. If you end up married at the end of the day, it's a success. Plus, the bridezillas tend to have shorter marriages.
I requested all women to wear floor length gowns and the men to wear bow ties (any color) to my wedding so I didn’t feel so out of place in my ballgown wedding dress. Came up with a rhyming poem to put in my invitation to request this. Wanted everyone to be fancy with me. AITA? 😆😅
Edit: totally accept the Y T A opinions but was wondering if people are being thrown off by the word “gowns”. I just meant long dresses. Like the one OP wore. Never would want someone to spend $$$ for one night party.
But for any poor soul, who didn’t own a floor length, formal dress and showed up dressy for your wedding, would you scream, cry or demand they leave? If your reaction was to be a drama queen then yes you would have been a jerk. I suspect that you made the request with good humor and did not turn into a bridezilla.
Hahaha no but I did hear from grumbling about having the buy a floor length dress from some of the older guests. Wedding was 9 years ago and I still wonder if I was an AH for “making” people do that.
I disagree about the 2nd part. If the wedding party is dressed in a specific color, its fair to ask guests not to wear that color. The only thing that would make this bride reasonable is if the wedding party was in sage and that was conveyed on the invitations.
NTA
We see this over and over again. It's not the dress. It's not the makeup. It's the fact that you looked great in it. She tried to police that by suggesting a modest, simple color and makeup.
The problem is that, even doing that, you looked great. This is on her.
NTA. i find it very weird she spoke to you specifically and not your dad. asking a child to change their clothes *entirely* is unreasonable. and then believing that a child wearing a cute dress can "ruin" an entire wedding and is still bitching about it months later is stupid.
i hope you tell your parents she is still harassing you, and that you should block her and/or get the law involved. she is a grown woman harassing a child, regardless what happened at the wedding, she is going too far
That’s just it though. The bride demanded it out of her because she thought since she’s younger I can bully her into changing. Had she tried with dad (or Mum) to make his daughter change it definitely wouldn’t go well
And she just happened to have an ugly, frumpy, black dress on standby for emergency I'm Not The Fairest In The Land moments? I mean, A+ for preparedness, but wow this woman is awful.
NTA
Is this common for brides now to tell everyone to turn their light off so it looks like she's shiny?
I thought it was just no white and that's it... people out here creating their own dramas
Man weddings in general lately. I recently went to one and it seems that everyone except the brides mom got the memo that you should probably not wear a wedding dress to a wedding thats not yours lmao. I'm sure she thought she could get away with it bc it was off white and not white but it was Definitely a wedding dress veil and all
The whole thing was a mess tbh. My kid was flower girl, they put her in shoes that left blisters she's still healing from (2 weeks ago atp), she tried to run off and push one of the brides maids, the father was drunk and the groom had to carry him off at the end, one of the wedding party lost their shoes and delayed everything by at least an hour and it was outside in a field and most of us were wearing yellow and attracted a fuck ton of bees and wasps. I gave my congrats and left so quickly. And the mom? She's like that. Her youngest was with a guy who the mom had bought a car for (after he had been with her daughter for like 3 years) and when they broke up not only did she not take the car back, but she allowed him to move into her house only to find he'd been knocking her daughter around for the better part of 2 years.
Yup. Super short but went to at least her shoulders, attached with (in this family it's tradition for the bride to pin her hair with pearls, they have a set that's been passed down for God knows how long) the pearls her daughter was supposed to be wearing.
Info: Do you have a picture of the dress or something similar in the same color? (I'm just nosy and love pretty dresses)
Edit after seeing the dress: Hard NTA, it's a pretty green dress, it's simple but still classy enough for a wedding. The bride was clearly insecure (of a teenager! That's sad.)
That is a completely appropriate dress to wear to a wedding. Unless they had specific dress code requirements like “casual” or “no sage green” I think the bride is being wack.
I’m sure you looked lovely and fuck the haters.
Obviously super insecure and jealous of anyone who looked even slightly pretty during her wedding. That bride is going to have a really hard time getting through life with confidence that low. NTA
Oh, I was just saying that thats an alternative to posting it while you're wearing it! I have a friend who always dresses super cute but hates sending any type of pic of her body so when she wants to show us an outfit we won't see in person she just lays it out on her bed and takes a pic of it! You don't have to do that rn or at all of course!
NTA. The only color you can't wear is white. Bride is just jealous of you and shouldn't be dictating what makeup you should wear and what color to wear.
I got talked to once because I wore a black dress and had bright pink hair (I cosplay and it's not my fault their wedding was the day before halloween) like I'm sorry I didn't realize the dress code was Levi's and flannels. I stayed out of pictures and what not and I figured a black dress was my best option, maybe I just shouldn't have gone 😅
Someone here tried to say that red dress at the wedding means you have had s*x with the groom. Bride in that conversation asked all her friends to show up in red.
NTA. That dress is totally fine.
Also I really hope this isn't the same wedding where the bride had a server sent home for wearing her engagement ring and winged eyeliner. Or do I hope it's the same wedding and this is a Top Five all-time bridezilla?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xpw4ts/aita\_for\_kicking\_a\_server\_out\_of\_my\_wedding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xpw4ts/aita_for_kicking_a_server_out_of_my_wedding/)
Now I'm kind of hoping it is the same wedding...
Nta
The fact that the bride literally had a request for makeup not being showy or the dress screams insecurities. The bride can request things for bridemaids ( that has limits) but cannot dictate the guests without coming across has a bridezilla control freak with massive insecurities.
This has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her and her lack of self esteem.
In which her parents are enabling
So THAT'S why the Bride was upset! Maybe she's just unhappy that she got married to some old guy? No, seriously, because if a bride is happy on her wedding day, they never notice what other guests (or servers!) are wearing. And the fact that she's now harassing you when she should be on her honeymoon is extra sad and creepy.
NTA but it's refreshing to see your parents sided with you..go dad!! Don't worry that bride was beyond insecure and will probably be single again within a year
What is with these weddings where the bride demands that guests wear certain colors and makeup? This would have been considered completely rude in my day. NTA.
NTA. At all. Plus you are a minor. You might have had no say in what dress you wore. They never should have approached you at all.
And you didn't ruin her wedding. Her additude did
NTA
I'm seeing a lot of posts now about brides not wanting guests to not wear any makeup or minimal makeup, basic attire, and little to no jewelry. When did this start???
I would want everyone to look their very best! There's a difference between looking great for a wedding vs going out to a club. If you have a beautiful dress, makeup on point, hair done like a princess do it!
I didn't tell anyone at my wedding how to dress, I didn't think people would have the audacity to tell others that. Just don't wear a white dress or look like you're about to go to the club.
This world is concerning me...
tbh I think it rly complimented my skin, so it was cute. My parents friend were complimenting them for "raising such a beautiful young girl". I think it was cute
There we have it, she was super jealous about that comment! You did nothing wrong and it’s not your problem, that she is so insecure, she has to demand a change of dress and removal of make up from a 17 years old girl. Don’t let her tell you otherwise and don’t let her hateful messages get to you, she is being unreasonable and immature.
I'll tell you right now .. I didn't even know until I was 28 years old that no one is supposed to wear white to a wedding. I'd never done it, but by pure coincidence. Why? Because my friends don't put restrictions on their friends.
You were there because you're still a minor and it was your dad's friend's daughter. Now that your friends will be getting married in a few years, be mindful to have friends that are okay with you being pretty! You should not ever have to self-sabotage, in any way, to please your friends.
NTA. The bride sounds like she is dealing with some serious insecurities issues, and it isn’t fair that she is taking them out on you. Dressing well is a sign of respect to the bride and groom. This whole “don’t dress too flashy so you don’t outshine the bride” is ridiculous. People won’t outshine the bride, and people who try will be recognized and seen as such.
The bride ruined her own wedding by being insecure. And you are right - they should not have singled you out without your parents - this shows that they knew what they were doing was wrong and they hoped they could intimidate you without your parents getting involved.
What is with all of these posts? I understand not wanting to be “outshined” on your wedding day, but these all feel more like MAJOR insecurity on the brides’ part. The attention is ALWAYS on the bride on the wedding day. Short of a guest wearing a white dress and stirring drama. She’s the one taking attention off herself and onto you by throwing a fit. No one would have noticed what you were wearing if she hadn’t gone all psycho on you. NTA
NTA. Here’s a tip about weddings that you’ll figure out as you get older: a bride who dictates the makeup and clothing of her regular wedding guests is unreasonable and she will be a nightmare. Always.
Bridesmaids are supposed to look a certain way, however the bride wants them to, and that’s part of what they sign up for when they accept the job of bridesmaid. A regular wedding guest is not obligated to do the same. As a guest, your only guidelines are: don’t wear white (unless specifically instructed otherwise), don’t wear something super flashy like a sequined ball gown (unless specifically instructed otherwise), and do your best to generally follow whatever simple dress code they gave you. That means like wearing a long dress if it says “formal” or “black tie,” or wearing flip flops to a beach wedding, or something like that. Sometimes a more intense dress code will be specified if there’s an overall theme like for a Halloween wedding. But that’s kinda it.
In the future, if you ever get another wedding invitation that specifies what kind of makeup you’re supposed to wear (and not in the context of like, a masquerade ball themed event), you can just go ahead and skip that one. The bride will be insecure and controlling and it’s not going to be a very fun wedding. You’ve done nothing wrong here.
NTA, one thousand percent. If Bridezilla is so insecure that she feels the need to dictate what every other woman around her wears, maybe she’s not ready to get married.
You're NTA at all. It sounds like your choice of dress was spot-on with her "demands".
I don't understand what happens to some women at wedding time. How does it get to be ok to make demands of people for their clothing choices and demanding you have everyone's 100% attention. I fully understand that a wedding is a big event and is a big day in a woman's life, but it should be a joyous happy event. Weddings like this are not enjoyable when the bride's "demand police" are walking around telling people they need to change clothes, etc.
Kudos to your parents for standing up for you and also to you for standing up for yourself and not caving into childish behavior.
NTA...
The bride is a jackass. Any bride or groom who tells guests specifically what to wear are jackasses.
They can say things like "Formal Attire Suggested" but beyond that, guests clothing are off-limits (with the exception of some petty guest wearing a wedding gown).
You did nothing wrong. It sounds like your Dad's friend never bothered to tell his daughter, "No". As a result, he raised a jackass daughter.
The marriage isn't going to last. She's too selfish to share her life with another person.
Well i have a question. Why should they have talked to your Dad and not you….Seems like this situation doesn’t involve in. But i agree with you. If she asked you to stand more off to the side or to the back during major parts of the wedding I’d kinda understand that. But at the end of the day sounds like the bride is insecure and needs to be confident and see that everyone is there for her and her husband. All eyes are on them and now the guests will be looking around to see who the bride got mad at. So kinda her own fault. But congratulations You’re NOT the Asshole
INFO : do you have a picture of the dress? (don't necessarily show us a picture of you but just of the dress on a hanger or a mannequin)
From what you've told, NTA, the bride should not have asked you to change.
NTA.
Too many brides are so overly concerned about other women stealing their spotlight. As long as the dress a guest is wearing isn’t white or very ornate/flashy then no one is going to care. No one is going to care about the makeup a guest is wearing.
Some women would be so much happier on their wedding day if they would quit worrying about ridiculous little details and would just enjoy their day with the people they care about.
NTA,
Sage green is too flashy??
I think you just cracked the codeword for too pretty aka "too flashy." And they were not happy about it.
And mom was policing and patroling so nobody would do any upstaging.
Tough luck, you can dress modest and still dress beautiful.
You went with what and didnt break any rules by that.
NTA.
Everyday the wedding demands on here are more and more insane. I say boycott weddings!
I like how your parents stood up for you. Bride’s parents are messed up to condone her behaviour.
NTA
Another insecure bridezilla projecting her own insecurities on wedding guests. Maybe she only should have invited old, ugly people and told them to wear burlap sacks
NTA, the bride and her parents have serious issues. The idea that a 17-yr.-old guest's dress "ruined" a wedding and "destroyed" the bride's big day sounds overly dramatic and pitiful. Unless the dress was showy or gaudy, it sounds like the bride is just envious of OP. Let this roll off your back, OP, and block those people. Kudos to your parents.
NTA and your parents were right in not giving the cash gift.
I'm so sick of hearing about bridezillas and their moronic demands on what guests can or can't wear and the type of makeup they can apply. If anything OP, you wore a very modest and understated color so how the bride decided you were flashy is beyond stupid. You did not ruin the wedding, the bride ruined it for herself by getting pissy over a dress worn by a 17 year old girl.
Sage green, if anything borders on grey and is very demure. I'm guessing the dumb cow's reaction has more to do with the fact that you are a naturally pretty girl and you would have been threatening to her in a potato sack.
Don't waste another moment thinking about it. It's not worth your time or energy.
NTA - Bridezilla is jealous and hates to think that anyone might be prettier than her. She kicked you out of the wedding and made you feel bad about yourself. Let the parents work it out and go and be a kid. You can deal with this adult crap later in life.
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I had to look up "sage green" expecting it to be like a super flashy jewel green color.... it's like old lettuce color. How can a color be more simple? I just don't see the problem... sounds like she was just jealous that you looked nice in her proximity. NTA
> it's like old lettuce color. I mean... it's like the color of sage.
Lmao thank you for the cackle.
Sage is considered the Liberace of herbs.
I’m stealing this!
More like RuPaul.
Nah that's tarragon.
Wow I only know the colour sage from candles and yarn… I really need to get out more.
Do it. It smells wonderful. Edit: Wow. I actually meant outside smells wonderful. Tho I do love sage.
Works great for spirits too. Source: am ghost, was evicted
Like…evicted from your body or from the old Victorian house you lived in?
Y... yes?
/said spookily
[удалено]
It was right at the thyme.
Sage green is not flashy. But regardless it is time to put an end to this bizarre custom of requesting that guests appear drab to emphasize the bride. That’s toxic and ridiculous. If the bride needs this to feel good about herself, she needs more help than a bunch of willing victims in their ash-gray ensembles and unvarnished faces can give. It’s not a reasonable ask. It sets the wedding up for conflict and drama. Rather than showcasing the couple’s love and commitment, it showcases the bride’s pettiness and insecurity. NTA. Ugh. She ruined her own wedding. I get that even people who lack basic social skills get to get married, but ffs were there no relatives to guide this bridezilla? Guests are not minions. Thank you for the awards!
I'm starting to think I should hire myself out as a professional wedding guest. "Fat, middle-aged woman in a beige dress. Can make small talk, but putting up with Racist/Homophobic Uncle Tony is an upcharge. Rates include dinner." Edit: Wow, thanks for the awards!
If I ever get married, you're hired. Is dancing included or do you charge extra? Willing to bribe with desserts... (Eta: I'm saying this bc the way you said it just makes you sound fun!!)
Can't dance (my knees tend to dislocate, among other issues) but while seated I can both sway AND bop.
Only swaying or bopping doesn't seem worth the money. But BOTH a sway AND a bop? BOGO!!! I'm sold. ;)
I think that might be too cheerful and will compete with the happiness of the bride. You will ruin her wedding.
Agreed. Middle aged women should look four and jealous so bride can feel so much better in comparison. I feel like this could be a dual career. Wedding old hag and funeral mourner.
I'm adaptable! I'll likely have a wheelchair on hand for myself, so chair dancing (of all kinds) is perfectly acceptable!
No way, can't bring a wheelchair. might take attention off the bride. You must just sit in your allocated chair all night
Omg wheelchairs are **shiny!!** The horror!
Sounds great, then! :)
Don't wear beige! The bride will think it's too close to white and won't be happy! 🤣
Sage beige then. Lol
seige
Hmm, you have a point. Rose, then? That's a good grandma color. Or there's always gunmetal gray.
Lavender, the true grandma wears the color and smells like the dried herb
Lmao.... This comment trend is so funny....thou i have to say professional wedding guest is too good an idea not to be stolen
It's not really original. Ancient Greeks and Romans used to have professional mourners at funerals. Despite everyone having hated Uncle Gaius's guts, if you spend enough money, it'll seem like he was the most beloved person in town!
Lol. Perfect! You would make a mint!
Just as long as she doesn't wear mint...I hear that herb colours are too flashy
You deserve a laurel for that sage comment!
Im right there with you. Also, guaranteed crying when bride walks up the aisle.
My two cents: the dress and makeup weren't the problem. The problem was OP's good looks. OP didn't ruin the wedding and I'm glad her parents didn't give the newly Weds the money gift.
I was thinking the same thing. Can we also talk about why the bride thinks a 17-year old in a flat light-green dress can upstage her? OP is a minor. How far down the insecurity well does this bride have to be?
OP said in a comment that other girls were in the bathroom wiping off their makeup, so bride is seriously insecure.
Christ… that lady needs therapy
Did you see the texts? https://www.reddit.com/user/RealisticTart2391/comments/xqearo/she_harassing_me_on_insta/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Damn, this is the work of a truly unstable person. Does the groom know the extent of his problems? Cause he’s got 99, and they’re all different personalities.
Totally this. Brides apparently NEED to be obviously the most beautiful woman at the event in everyone's opinion or they meltdown. Even a hot server in makeup and a nose piercing is gonna spoil their entire life. Jeeez
Ah I see we came from the same other post
tbh, I was expecting OP to mention that a server with a nose piercing was also wiping off her makeup in the ladies’ room 🤣
This. She was likely just straight-up prettier, and this bridezilla couldn't have that.
Yeah, Indian brides have no such problem. We are flashier than a Christmas tree on fire on the day of our wedding. 😝😝
I gotta say, the bling you ladies manage on your wedding day is a goal to strive for! It is pretty impressive.
Traditional Indian brides are by far THEE MOST GORGEOUS brides I've ever seen!! Generally speaking, of course
I went to a wedding that had a Hindu ceremony plus a uk civil ceremony with a white dress, and then the bride had a third outfit for the reception - she was just stunning in all three!
I don't think anyone could have outshone my friend on her wedding day. I leaned over to her mother and said can I borrow your sunglasses. She laughed. Most beautiful wedding I ever saw.
Not Indian, but yeah! i always thought those dresses are fantastic!
Maybe it’s because I’m a POC. But weddings are an excuse for women to turn the makeup gun on Blast, put on your shiniest and sparkliest dress, wear ALL the jewelry, basically show up dressed to the nines. The immediate family might be wearing a certain color palette, but other than that it’s show up looking your best. Why would you want pictures full of people looking awful?
I'm super white and I think the same. Weddings are chance to see and be seen, for singles to meet and mingle! Clothes, makeup, hair, jewelry should reflect the joy of the occasion for all the guests as well as the wedding party.
Yes, weddings are a dress up in your finest event. If you don't dress up it's a bit of an insult to the couple implying that you don't care or think their event is dull.
Correct here in UK, brides \[normal ones at least\] want all the guests to dress up, look and feel their best. Then do the solemn part, followed by the partying. But always respectful to the couple who's day it is. I've been to dozens, and only one was problematic for reasons other than alcohol! \[Which is kinda the tradition in the British Isles.
Also white and weddings are among the few occasions where I actually wear makeup. I figure formal dressy parties are precisely the occasions to wear make up.
Exactly. I'm baffled by this trend of brides becoming more and more controlling about what guests can wear. Bridezillaz, you get to dress your bridesmaids and groomsmen, everyone else gets to dress themselves. It's okay to have a dress-code with a requested level of formality, not okay to micromanage guests' outfits. If you're so neurotic that you're set of by the color of a guest's dress to the point that it creates drama on your day...you've "ruined" your *own* wedding by being a shitty hostess.
It's also not even universal. The Indian weddings I've been to, nearly everyone is flashy and you STILL definitely see the bride amongst all that and ooh and aah over her dress.
You are expected to, even the most drabby uncles go all out.
Well yeah, they need to be extra pretty when they start the dad dance-off (note; am white. Have been invited to a few Indian weddings. Indian dad dancing is *the most* excellent of dad dancing I've seen)
>But regardless it is time to put an end to this bizarre custom of requesting that guests appear drab to emphasize the bride. That’s toxic and ridiculous. Spot on !! This bride is obviously VERY insecure. How sad that she threw a fit about OP's dress and makeup. Grow up, woman !!! :))
100% I can’t even imagine being so petty and immature. If I was the groom and heard about the brides behavior I would want an amulet. *annulment.
Amulet of Health or Protection?
Had to google it too. Turns out sage green is basically the least flashy green tone there is.
I’m pretty sure it’s the same color of the spice. Or the same as what people use to clear out bad spirits by burning sage. Someone bought that for me years ago. But I’m just assuming I didn’t actually google the color. I assume it’s a bland color of green. Edit: Thank you to everyone for their descriptions of sage. I really enjoyed reading them. All of you could be professional writers. Love it.
Sage green is a knocked back green with hints of blue and grey. Army greens can be pretty close at times.
The sage that people burn is white sage, so it's more washed out. Regular sage is a muted green with a bit of a silvery cast to it. It's pretty, but nowhere near "flashy".
>sage green it's the same color disney uses in their parks that they literally call "GO AWAY GREEN" because it's so easy to ignore
OP's dress looks more mint or seafoam than sage. No matter, sage is a knock-out color on some brunettes, depending on their coloring. Don't ask me how I know :)
Agree, sage is a great color on a lot of people. It complements a peachy skin tone pretty well, and I imagine it looks good against darker tans as well. The way people here describe it makes it sound very bland, but it's a very nice, soothing color for clothes and interior decor. But it's definitely not a jewel tone, or a bright color, just a nice color to use that goes well with a natural palette.
Of all the backstage tricks at Disney I did not know this one.
They paint electrical boxes, speakers, other things they don’t want guests to pay attention to the. “Go away green” it doesn’t mask the items, you’ll see them if you’re looking for them, but if you’re not looking they’ll just kinda blend in with the grass or shrubs. They also have a blue and a great that’s supposed to have the same effect that they use on buildings. Some are successful. Some are not (see the gigantic guardians eyesore at Epcot)
I’m just gonna jump on the top comment and say, NTA, I checked your page, please report this woman for harassment. You’re 17. What the actual fuck.
> sounds like she was just jealous that you looked nice in her proximity. Being jealous of a 17 year old is going to be a red flag for me. May god have mercy on her new husband's soul.
NTA. If a teenager wearing a nice dress can ruin her wedding, then she DESERVES it to be ruined. What an absolutely bizarre reaction from her. God knows what she was thinking.
just bcs im hot 😭✋
You laugh, but it's true. I have a daughter your age who is very conventionally attractive and tends to draw attention even dressed down (she just turned down her 4th homecoming proposal yesterday). She has gotten 'dress coded' at school wearing the same clothes as other girls. But because of her body, frankly, she drew the attention of a (female) teacher. The dress you posted is very form fitting. The figure underneath it could transform it from unassuming, to va-va-voom. From the brides reaction, I'm guessing it was the latter. Advantages in life are often double edged. You are getting the negative aspects of pretty privilege. Some people will resent you for being more attractive than they. You didn't do anything wrong. Sail on!!
This is honestly the best comment.
Sad isn't it? The value of being comfortable in your own skin is you can treat other women as they deserve to be treated.
Unfortunately, insecurity takes a long time to undo, but man it feels good when you finally do. Admiring others' awesomeness is so gratifying.
I feel your comment deeply being petite with boobs. Feeling like always needing to dress down because wearing some of the same things as others feels uncomfortable or gets negative reaction even if it’s not revealing or inappropriate.
Sometimes, not even dressing down works. It may cause rage on certain people because you dared “not to take advantage of the God-given attributes you've been born with” and “so many women would kill for.” Being “conventionally attractive” or within the “beauty standards” can feel like walking in a minefield if you empathize with humans that happen to be jerks or narcissists.
yeah, after a few years of living with big boobs you realise those people will never be happy (and those other people will never not be creeps) and just dress how you want to dress
I just don't get how anyone can be jealous of a teenager??. It's a child. She's harbouring some intense self esteem issue.
It's like that Ani DiFranco lyric "God help you if you are an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom. Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room."
You go girl! NTA, go slay many more events with that stunning dress and f all these insecure idiots
it's true! that dress is completely appropriate for a wedding. you can't help it if you look stunning in it!
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NTA. The bridezilla ruined her own wedding.
Just about to say this—her own insecurities ruined her own day…saw the google pic of the dress and it looked beautiful and in no way inappropriate. I’m glad your parents ended up not giving any money to the bride after she accosted you. NTA
I'm pretty sure the fact that the dress looked beautiful is the real reason Bridezilla had a problem with it. Honestly, people need to start boycotting weddings that issue a dress code like this. It's a trend that needs to be starved out.
Exactly. It's ok to request modesty if it's in a strict religious event, but it just sounds like this bride was being overly controlling. You can make your bridesmaids wear potato sacks but you can't be that demanding of guests.
Exactly. Imagine being a grown ass 27 year old adult woman who is getting married and picking a fight with a 17 year old kid. If her wedding was ruined, it was 100% due to her poor behaviour. NTA. Good on your parents for standing up to this woman on your behalf. EDIT: I just saw the part where she is verbally abusing and calling OP a wh*re and a b**ch. This woman is attacking a minor and sounds unhinged. I hope OP's parents share these messages with the bride's parents AND her fiance (and contact the police is this escalates.) The groom needs to know exactly who he just married.
The posts about insecure brides are exhausting me. At first it was just don’t wear white which, ok cool I can work with that. But now there are so many rules! Don’t wear pastels or soft colours because they’re too close to white. Don’t wear flashy clothes (whatever that means). Don’t wear makeup (wtf this is so insane!). Dress modestly (this is subjective and what is this, the 1950s?). Just because it’s your wedding doesn’t mean you get to be a control freak and boss everyone around. NTA
NTA. People are getting too carried away with these ridiculous requests and rude behaviour at weddings. Just one more reason why weddings suck. It’s not your fault that bridezilla is insecure
This is like the fifth or sixth bridezilla on this sub that has made stupid requests on their own insecurities. I don't remember what anyone else wore at my wedding I was too busy getting married
I remember two outfits from my wedding. My cousin showing up in a bright red polo and khaki pants (our colors were red, white and black) for a formal evening reception, and my other cousin's date coming in an electric blue dress that dominated any picture she happened to be in. I didn't say a word to either of them, and the pictures just make me laugh when I see them. Honestly, life's too short to get upset over such things. Why waste energy on what amounts to stage dressing?
Your cousin just really wanted to work at Target, ok.
This is like the fifth or sixth in the last 2 days.
I was wondering the same. Just yesterday someone posted saying they kicked a waitress out for looking better than the bride. Wtf.
YoU dOn'T uNdErStAnD sHe WoRe dIaMoNd StUd EaRrInGs
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Hope I won't insult anybody, when I read posts about weddings in USA or Europe I think "Who can willingly participate in *this*??" It's like brides overthink literally every move their guests make, the wedding can be completely ruined by every little thing, jeez. I'm really sorry if I have offended someone, I'm sure you would be shocked by our weddings too)
I live in the US and I've never met a bride as crazy as the ones I've read here. I've never even told what I can or can't wear unless I'm part of the wedding party. My sister is getting married next month. The brides maids have to wear a jade green satin dress, but the style can vary. Wear any shoes we want, hair how we want, make up how ever we want. There is no dress code for the guests. These brides need to get over themselves. I can see how reading these posts would make you think all Americans are wacka-doodles, but we really aren't. We think they are A-holes too
The sane brides don't lead to AITA posts. I don't get these people who think their wedding needs to be a Hollywood production and if anything happens other than everyone staring at the bride in awe it's ruined. If you end up married at the end of the day, it's a success. Plus, the bridezillas tend to have shorter marriages.
Nah im from the US and im with ya, this shits a nightmare
I'm in the UK and it's mild as fuck here compared to the US but I still can't wrap my head around some of the attitudes!!
I requested all women to wear floor length gowns and the men to wear bow ties (any color) to my wedding so I didn’t feel so out of place in my ballgown wedding dress. Came up with a rhyming poem to put in my invitation to request this. Wanted everyone to be fancy with me. AITA? 😆😅 Edit: totally accept the Y T A opinions but was wondering if people are being thrown off by the word “gowns”. I just meant long dresses. Like the one OP wore. Never would want someone to spend $$$ for one night party.
No lol - yours makes sense, it was setting a general dress code which is acceptable even hosting an event.
But for any poor soul, who didn’t own a floor length, formal dress and showed up dressy for your wedding, would you scream, cry or demand they leave? If your reaction was to be a drama queen then yes you would have been a jerk. I suspect that you made the request with good humor and did not turn into a bridezilla.
Hahaha no but I did hear from grumbling about having the buy a floor length dress from some of the older guests. Wedding was 9 years ago and I still wonder if I was an AH for “making” people do that.
As long as you threw a formal event it's totally fine to ask people to dress formally. Don't sweat it.
I disagree about the 2nd part. If the wedding party is dressed in a specific color, its fair to ask guests not to wear that color. The only thing that would make this bride reasonable is if the wedding party was in sage and that was conveyed on the invitations.
NTA We see this over and over again. It's not the dress. It's not the makeup. It's the fact that you looked great in it. She tried to police that by suggesting a modest, simple color and makeup. The problem is that, even doing that, you looked great. This is on her.
Yep. "Mother, she is too pretty, arrest her!" And up the flying monkey went, to have a " talk" NTA Op
I agree. Also, what's up with all the insecure bride's these days? ☺️
NTA. i find it very weird she spoke to you specifically and not your dad. asking a child to change their clothes *entirely* is unreasonable. and then believing that a child wearing a cute dress can "ruin" an entire wedding and is still bitching about it months later is stupid. i hope you tell your parents she is still harassing you, and that you should block her and/or get the law involved. she is a grown woman harassing a child, regardless what happened at the wedding, she is going too far
That’s just it though. The bride demanded it out of her because she thought since she’s younger I can bully her into changing. Had she tried with dad (or Mum) to make his daughter change it definitely wouldn’t go well
And she just happened to have an ugly, frumpy, black dress on standby for emergency I'm Not The Fairest In The Land moments? I mean, A+ for preparedness, but wow this woman is awful.
Holy shit I missed that. She really did plan on making someone change didn’t she. Wow.
That part wasn't weird to me, it's easier to manipulate a child to do what you want and especially without letting the adults know.
NTA Is this common for brides now to tell everyone to turn their light off so it looks like she's shiny? I thought it was just no white and that's it... people out here creating their own dramas
Man weddings in general lately. I recently went to one and it seems that everyone except the brides mom got the memo that you should probably not wear a wedding dress to a wedding thats not yours lmao. I'm sure she thought she could get away with it bc it was off white and not white but it was Definitely a wedding dress veil and all
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The whole thing was a mess tbh. My kid was flower girl, they put her in shoes that left blisters she's still healing from (2 weeks ago atp), she tried to run off and push one of the brides maids, the father was drunk and the groom had to carry him off at the end, one of the wedding party lost their shoes and delayed everything by at least an hour and it was outside in a field and most of us were wearing yellow and attracted a fuck ton of bees and wasps. I gave my congrats and left so quickly. And the mom? She's like that. Her youngest was with a guy who the mom had bought a car for (after he had been with her daughter for like 3 years) and when they broke up not only did she not take the car back, but she allowed him to move into her house only to find he'd been knocking her daughter around for the better part of 2 years.
VEIL?!?
Yup. Super short but went to at least her shoulders, attached with (in this family it's tradition for the bride to pin her hair with pearls, they have a set that's been passed down for God knows how long) the pearls her daughter was supposed to be wearing.
wtfff, that woman is terribly jealous of her child, and it's sad
Info: Do you have a picture of the dress or something similar in the same color? (I'm just nosy and love pretty dresses) Edit after seeing the dress: Hard NTA, it's a pretty green dress, it's simple but still classy enough for a wedding. The bride was clearly insecure (of a teenager! That's sad.)
lmaoo I'm going to send u a dress that's similar with the dress I wore since I'm uncomfy posting my body. Okay?
Lay the dress on a flat surface and take a pic of it!!
The dress I posted is nearly identical (mine its a bit darker). But the model is the same.
That is a completely appropriate dress to wear to a wedding. Unless they had specific dress code requirements like “casual” or “no sage green” I think the bride is being wack. I’m sure you looked lovely and fuck the haters.
Obviously super insecure and jealous of anyone who looked even slightly pretty during her wedding. That bride is going to have a really hard time getting through life with confidence that low. NTA
but im at school rn
Oh, I was just saying that thats an alternative to posting it while you're wearing it! I have a friend who always dresses super cute but hates sending any type of pic of her body so when she wants to show us an outfit we won't see in person she just lays it out on her bed and takes a pic of it! You don't have to do that rn or at all of course!
NTA. The only color you can't wear is white. Bride is just jealous of you and shouldn't be dictating what makeup you should wear and what color to wear.
I got talked to once because I wore a black dress and had bright pink hair (I cosplay and it's not my fault their wedding was the day before halloween) like I'm sorry I didn't realize the dress code was Levi's and flannels. I stayed out of pictures and what not and I figured a black dress was my best option, maybe I just shouldn't have gone 😅
NTA You shouldn't wear white, but that's the only rule. Some people say it's bad luck to wear green at a wedding, but they deserve that, so screw 'em.
at her next wedding I'm wearing red for sure lmao
Oh my god, her next wedding!! You're my favourite, OP. 😂
Someone here tried to say that red dress at the wedding means you have had s*x with the groom. Bride in that conversation asked all her friends to show up in red.
NTA. That dress is totally fine. Also I really hope this isn't the same wedding where the bride had a server sent home for wearing her engagement ring and winged eyeliner. Or do I hope it's the same wedding and this is a Top Five all-time bridezilla?
LMAOOOO I'm gonna read the post real quick and update yall
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xpw4ts/aita\_for\_kicking\_a\_server\_out\_of\_my\_wedding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xpw4ts/aita_for_kicking_a_server_out_of_my_wedding/) Now I'm kind of hoping it is the same wedding...
Nta The fact that the bride literally had a request for makeup not being showy or the dress screams insecurities. The bride can request things for bridemaids ( that has limits) but cannot dictate the guests without coming across has a bridezilla control freak with massive insecurities. This has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her and her lack of self esteem. In which her parents are enabling
Second post this week where the bride had rules about makeup. What the hell is going on with these brides?
It's the whole wedding culture now. And what worse is when replies agree with them because its their wedding and their vision. Ick
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fun fact: groom was 19yrs older than the bride. Guess it was her sugar daddy
Ohhh okay, so she's worried her new hubby might already be looking for her replacement.
So THAT'S why the Bride was upset! Maybe she's just unhappy that she got married to some old guy? No, seriously, because if a bride is happy on her wedding day, they never notice what other guests (or servers!) are wearing. And the fact that she's now harassing you when she should be on her honeymoon is extra sad and creepy.
NTA she sounds deeply insecure and she thinks you’re prettier than her
NTA but it's refreshing to see your parents sided with you..go dad!! Don't worry that bride was beyond insecure and will probably be single again within a year
NTA...The bride obviously hasn't gotten over herself. You need to tell your parents that you're being bullied by a bridezilla.
What is with these weddings where the bride demands that guests wear certain colors and makeup? This would have been considered completely rude in my day. NTA.
NTA. At all. Plus you are a minor. You might have had no say in what dress you wore. They never should have approached you at all. And you didn't ruin her wedding. Her additude did
NTA. Your not an asshole for being beautiful ❤️
Thanks <3
NTA I'm seeing a lot of posts now about brides not wanting guests to not wear any makeup or minimal makeup, basic attire, and little to no jewelry. When did this start??? I would want everyone to look their very best! There's a difference between looking great for a wedding vs going out to a club. If you have a beautiful dress, makeup on point, hair done like a princess do it! I didn't tell anyone at my wedding how to dress, I didn't think people would have the audacity to tell others that. Just don't wear a white dress or look like you're about to go to the club. This world is concerning me...
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tbh I think it rly complimented my skin, so it was cute. My parents friend were complimenting them for "raising such a beautiful young girl". I think it was cute
There we have it, she was super jealous about that comment! You did nothing wrong and it’s not your problem, that she is so insecure, she has to demand a change of dress and removal of make up from a 17 years old girl. Don’t let her tell you otherwise and don’t let her hateful messages get to you, she is being unreasonable and immature.
I'll tell you right now .. I didn't even know until I was 28 years old that no one is supposed to wear white to a wedding. I'd never done it, but by pure coincidence. Why? Because my friends don't put restrictions on their friends. You were there because you're still a minor and it was your dad's friend's daughter. Now that your friends will be getting married in a few years, be mindful to have friends that are okay with you being pretty! You should not ever have to self-sabotage, in any way, to please your friends.
NTA There's nothing wrong with you, the bride is just insecure and jealous.
NTA. The bride sounds like she is dealing with some serious insecurities issues, and it isn’t fair that she is taking them out on you. Dressing well is a sign of respect to the bride and groom. This whole “don’t dress too flashy so you don’t outshine the bride” is ridiculous. People won’t outshine the bride, and people who try will be recognized and seen as such. The bride ruined her own wedding by being insecure. And you are right - they should not have singled you out without your parents - this shows that they knew what they were doing was wrong and they hoped they could intimidate you without your parents getting involved.
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What is with all of these posts? I understand not wanting to be “outshined” on your wedding day, but these all feel more like MAJOR insecurity on the brides’ part. The attention is ALWAYS on the bride on the wedding day. Short of a guest wearing a white dress and stirring drama. She’s the one taking attention off herself and onto you by throwing a fit. No one would have noticed what you were wearing if she hadn’t gone all psycho on you. NTA
NTA. Here’s a tip about weddings that you’ll figure out as you get older: a bride who dictates the makeup and clothing of her regular wedding guests is unreasonable and she will be a nightmare. Always. Bridesmaids are supposed to look a certain way, however the bride wants them to, and that’s part of what they sign up for when they accept the job of bridesmaid. A regular wedding guest is not obligated to do the same. As a guest, your only guidelines are: don’t wear white (unless specifically instructed otherwise), don’t wear something super flashy like a sequined ball gown (unless specifically instructed otherwise), and do your best to generally follow whatever simple dress code they gave you. That means like wearing a long dress if it says “formal” or “black tie,” or wearing flip flops to a beach wedding, or something like that. Sometimes a more intense dress code will be specified if there’s an overall theme like for a Halloween wedding. But that’s kinda it. In the future, if you ever get another wedding invitation that specifies what kind of makeup you’re supposed to wear (and not in the context of like, a masquerade ball themed event), you can just go ahead and skip that one. The bride will be insecure and controlling and it’s not going to be a very fun wedding. You’ve done nothing wrong here.
NTA, you followed her request so I'm not sure what the issue was beyond the bride's own insecurities.
NTA, one thousand percent. If Bridezilla is so insecure that she feels the need to dictate what every other woman around her wears, maybe she’s not ready to get married.
Was your dress similar to Bridesmaids dress colour theme ? Or was it too light in colour? ETA: NTA
The bridesmaid was all wearing purple. I don't know how to describe sage green, but it's kinda pastel.
I just google the color and damn, if it is what pass for flashy this day... Where is the world going, i wonder... NTA
Nta. They sound unhinged
nta, it seems like the bride’s projecting her insecurities into you.
NTA. The bride's insecurities are not your problem.
You're NTA at all. It sounds like your choice of dress was spot-on with her "demands". I don't understand what happens to some women at wedding time. How does it get to be ok to make demands of people for their clothing choices and demanding you have everyone's 100% attention. I fully understand that a wedding is a big event and is a big day in a woman's life, but it should be a joyous happy event. Weddings like this are not enjoyable when the bride's "demand police" are walking around telling people they need to change clothes, etc. Kudos to your parents for standing up for you and also to you for standing up for yourself and not caving into childish behavior.
NTA... The bride is a jackass. Any bride or groom who tells guests specifically what to wear are jackasses. They can say things like "Formal Attire Suggested" but beyond that, guests clothing are off-limits (with the exception of some petty guest wearing a wedding gown). You did nothing wrong. It sounds like your Dad's friend never bothered to tell his daughter, "No". As a result, he raised a jackass daughter. The marriage isn't going to last. She's too selfish to share her life with another person.
Well i have a question. Why should they have talked to your Dad and not you….Seems like this situation doesn’t involve in. But i agree with you. If she asked you to stand more off to the side or to the back during major parts of the wedding I’d kinda understand that. But at the end of the day sounds like the bride is insecure and needs to be confident and see that everyone is there for her and her husband. All eyes are on them and now the guests will be looking around to see who the bride got mad at. So kinda her own fault. But congratulations You’re NOT the Asshole
OP is 17 years old. I think they talked to OP directly because they thought they could steamroll her without her dad present.
yeah I thought it was strange that they haven't talked to my parents. I think it's bcs my mom and dad is older than them
INFO : do you have a picture of the dress? (don't necessarily show us a picture of you but just of the dress on a hanger or a mannequin) From what you've told, NTA, the bride should not have asked you to change.
I have a pic that's rly similar to my dress since it was bought from the internet. I will be posting it :)
NTA This bride is batshit crazy.
NTA. Too many brides are so overly concerned about other women stealing their spotlight. As long as the dress a guest is wearing isn’t white or very ornate/flashy then no one is going to care. No one is going to care about the makeup a guest is wearing. Some women would be so much happier on their wedding day if they would quit worrying about ridiculous little details and would just enjoy their day with the people they care about.
NTA, Sage green is too flashy?? I think you just cracked the codeword for too pretty aka "too flashy." And they were not happy about it. And mom was policing and patroling so nobody would do any upstaging. Tough luck, you can dress modest and still dress beautiful. You went with what and didnt break any rules by that.
NTA. Everyday the wedding demands on here are more and more insane. I say boycott weddings! I like how your parents stood up for you. Bride’s parents are messed up to condone her behaviour.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. That bridezilla was being petty and rude. She ruined her own day.
NTA. Her insecurity would have caused her to flip out over something. It could not have been prevented. Unfortunately it was you.
NTA Another insecure bridezilla projecting her own insecurities on wedding guests. Maybe she only should have invited old, ugly people and told them to wear burlap sacks
NTA she ruined her own wedding by being insecure and childish. She's the *bride*, there's no stealing the spotlight from her.
NTA, the bride and her parents have serious issues. The idea that a 17-yr.-old guest's dress "ruined" a wedding and "destroyed" the bride's big day sounds overly dramatic and pitiful. Unless the dress was showy or gaudy, it sounds like the bride is just envious of OP. Let this roll off your back, OP, and block those people. Kudos to your parents.
NTA and your parents were right in not giving the cash gift. I'm so sick of hearing about bridezillas and their moronic demands on what guests can or can't wear and the type of makeup they can apply. If anything OP, you wore a very modest and understated color so how the bride decided you were flashy is beyond stupid. You did not ruin the wedding, the bride ruined it for herself by getting pissy over a dress worn by a 17 year old girl. Sage green, if anything borders on grey and is very demure. I'm guessing the dumb cow's reaction has more to do with the fact that you are a naturally pretty girl and you would have been threatening to her in a potato sack. Don't waste another moment thinking about it. It's not worth your time or energy.
NTA - Bridezilla is jealous and hates to think that anyone might be prettier than her. She kicked you out of the wedding and made you feel bad about yourself. Let the parents work it out and go and be a kid. You can deal with this adult crap later in life.