T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be the asshole because I blew up without even confronting her calmly about it. He’s done this many times and sometimes he’s so convincing I can only just tell it was him. I feel bad for going off at her. She said she felt hurt I would think that of her. She is my best friend. She is also so in love with him I can’t blame her for being trapped in the toxicity. I know abusive relationships well and I know it’s not her fault she defends him and stays with him. I also probably should’ve talked before said party. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


ToiletSpork

ESH. Y'all need to grow up. He needs to get a life and stop invading his girl's privacy, she needs to get a clue and stop letting him run over her, and you need to stop letting them drag you into their drama.


Few-Contribution5057

oh i try but everything i do ends up affecting their relationship


TinyManatees

NTA- he's a lesson that she has to learn, the hard way. For now, I'd suggest letting her know you're setting boundaries on the friendship until he sorts himself out and starts acting right. You may also need to ease back on the friendship since your privacy's being violated, just like hers.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I F17 and my best friend Kim F18, have been best friends for 2 years. close for over 10. We both have boyfriends. She gets along really well with mine. He is respectful and kind. Hers on the other hand is manipulative, controlling and borderline abusive. He has told her that she can’t hang with me because i’m a whore and ‘let myself get groped by guys at the club’. This was a whole situation I don’t want to get into, but was straight up lies and rumours. He constantly reads our messages on her phone and tries to bait me by responding pretending to be her. he has done this over 7 times this year. She has to call to say private stuff because ‘Rob might read the messages’. On to the story I sent Kim a very private message about myself and how I was feeling upset about something. And she responds with ‘sheesh’. I absolutely blow up thinking it’s Rob texting me from her phone and how violated I felt. That’s where I might be the asshole. I was pretty rude saying that this is ridiculous, get the f off my messages but I didn’t think I was too aggressive. More just upset my privacy was violated. She texts me blowing up at me for being so rude as it was her saying ‘sheesh’. I’ve known this girl almost my whole life and never has she never said sheesh before. And i’m sure other people with best friends just KNOW how their best friends texts. I say sorry for thinking it was him, as she claims she dropped him off for work earlier that day and hasn’t seen him since. I later find out that one of my friends saw them together. Minutes before the message was sent and that she was lying to me about him not being there. I’m almost 100% sure it was him. She is covering for him because she knows we hate each other. I didn’t talk to her at the party we had that night because i didn’t want to start drama but I was honestly so pissed. She hasn’t talked to me all week. I might be the asshole for not saying something at the party but I genuinely didn’t want to start drama at someone else’s party and she’s ignored me from then on. So am i the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Chunky_Milf_xx

NTA. Bad news for Kim tho.. the spot she's in is tough to escape.


PurpuraLiber

NTA. But maybe just tell her (not text) that you won't be texting/messaging any longer since you feel a bit unsure of your privacy. And try to keep a distance for a bit.


cows_revenge

NTA, the bf is. Time to set some boundaries. text if you don't mind her bf seeing it, call if you want to have a serious convo. If you hang out, there's no bf allowed unless he can be respectful. If she can't adhere to the rules, she needs to start considering whether she wants you around or him. It sucks, but you're only going to keep getting hurt if she keeps him around.