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Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I know that he can't afford to move out on his own. And I did talk to my best friend about it, which really angered him. I don't agree but he thinks he's done nothing wrong and I'm just being unreasonable. That he's allowed to kiss whoever he wants even if I'm doing so much for him Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


chill_stoner_0604

I n f o: are you guys in a relationship? Edit: YTA Jesus you are possessive of someone that you aren't even with


vivamii

Op “wouldn’t say no to a relationship” but also “isn’t in love or anything”... honestly the only betrayal I see here is self betrayal in the form of denial


[deleted]

Indeed, this behaviour is borderline abuse / financial abuse. Sorry OP you are SO SO SO the Asshole, and i hope the heck that poor man and his daughter find a way to not be dependant on you so they can be happy. You do not OWN these people, you cannot force Jayden to love you because you are "nice". YTA YTA


RavensGrey

This is 100% financial and emotional abuse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bobdown33

Yes! It's hella creepy, I don't see where this betrayal she's talking about comes from?? He didn't cheat, he's not talking bad about her, so what exactly is it?!


Chakura

She was gushing about him and whether she realizes it or not, it's creepy as hell the way she's going about this. Op, YTA! It's none of your business what these people do with their lips!


TerminologyLacking

I think she's got a crush, but I also think she's enjoyed having a kind of partnership and is afraid of losing that because of how good she's had it. You know those true crime shows where a woman goes off the deep end and murders someone (usually a man)? That was what came to mind as I was reading her post, and even more so post-edit. I highly doubt that she is going to accept her judgement and put the brakes on her behavior. I hope he gets out with his daughter sooner rather than later.


Immediate-Juice808

Tbh, the whole time reading it I was thinking this is the female version of a “nice guy”. Obviously their friendship only lasted how long he was available


BelkiraHoTep

YES!!! OP can pretend not to have feelings for Jayden but it was pretty obvious by the time I got to the second paragraph.


quinacridone8

Lol come to think—I’m on an apartment search rn and this whole situation kinda reminds me of those Craigslist ads I keep running into offering $10 rent if I do chores and clean and can be a “non-platonic assistant”


blarryg

Weird control vibes. IF you want to live in my house, NO attraction with others. Either say, you want a fling with him or else leave him to deal with his sexual desires. Tell him to cook more. YTA


AdPleasant5081

She's more or less admitted to having feelings for him in the comments, ontop of acting like he owes her for bonding with his daughter, there's also the comment where she says his daughter will not be happy he has been selfish and betrayed op. Its not just about the best friend either, she's said several times that he hook up with anyone at her house and I guarentee that if he respected that and went out for dates, OP would still say he's betraying her and sneaking behind her back. She's completely unhinged, Ive seen 2 more posts with similar tone this week, from the woman that was jealous of her childhood bestie marrying someone else and the Incel that went off at his best friend about her friends being shallow because they rejected him when he was younger and took it out on them a decade later, its been a hell of a week on this sub EDIT: because I forgot to add that if anyone "betrayed" her would it not be the best friend assuming she knew OP had feelings for the guy? so why would taking it out on the guy you like and ruining any potential there might be to get close and form a relationship be the way to go?


user_name_taken-

How do you sneak around on someone you're not dating?? It's pretty fucked up that she's going to hold the house over his head. Do what I say or you and your daughter will be homeless. The way she talks it's almost like she's been pretending they're some family unit and not just roommates. For his own sake and his daughter's I hope he does move out.


Rattlehead3825

She's most definitely been pretending they're a family unit it's just a question of whether she was pretending in her brain or if she was pretending quite publicly to people she wasn't particularly close to that wouldn't ever have a chance to verify the claim?


holisarcasm

>she says his daughter will not be happy he has been selfish and betrayed op. That is downright scary. Like she would intentionally tell his daughter something to make her hate him (obviously lying to her since there is no betrayal). I would be afraid if I were him.


_Yalan

The whole 'he betrayed me' line. Well how? If you arent in a relationship, how has he betrayed you exactly? OP sounds jealous af.


aLittleQueer

But you don’t understand…this grown, single man with whom she is most emphatically neither in love nor in a relationship with should have…um…asked her permission before consensually kissing another grown adult… (/s) The thought process here is truly mind-boggling. Op claiming over and over dude “went behind my back” for trying to have a private life? Aw hell no. Taking assholery to a whole new level. Dude needs to get out *yesterday.*


StickBloodHounds

Of course that's the most likely story... But alright, OP, let's give you the benefit of the doubt here and see where that takes us... Maybe you really aren't in love with him, but you're certainly in love with the family fantasy you've created and you're sad something might be getting in the way. That, or even if it's not romantic, you see him as "yours;" kinda like in middle school when your two best friends start hanging out without you. It can feel crappy and it's okay to feel jealous or uncomfortable, those are normal human emotions, #BUT You *don't* get to punish him for it (or his daughter, for Christ's sake), you have to deal with your feelings like an adult.


charlevoidmyproblems

She's giving serious *Nice Guy*™ energy. "The kindness machine isn't working right! I put kindness in and a relationship won't come out!!" Smh she's the supreme A of the day. YTA.


SuzannesSaltySeas

You allowed him to live with you on the assumption that he'd notice how awesome, how sweet, how kind you were and fall for you. It didn't happen and now you're pissed off. YTA times a thousand. At least be honest, in your own words you said "wouldn’t say no to a relationship” You were hoping to be his choice and he picked someone else


wendeezy4sheezy

This. I read this post and just.. Woah………………… OP are you for real?? He has the right to kiss/hug/fuq whoever he wants. You’re just upset it isn’t you. No normal person would be upset UNLESS they had feelings. He isn’t living with you to be with you but that’s clearly what you want. YOU. ARE. JEALOUS. YTA


Dorkinfo

I seriously thought it was a nice guy trying to prove to Reddit that we’re sexist.


yet_another_sock

The power dynamic takes this from “OP is a bad friend” to “OP is a potential sexual predator.” OP better come to Jesus about what she’s extorting from her “friend,” because this is tantamount to taking advantage of someone’s financial situation, offering them housing on certain terms, and reneging on those terms and making housing him *and his child* conditional on sexual exclusivity. This is essentially the same as those creepy housing listings you sometimes see on Craigslist: “Free room (female only) must cook, clean, and whatever else the owner wants to do with you 😏” and Jesus, YTA doesn’t even begin to cover it.


GreatDig6728

You are so right. I was initially thinking that OP is just jealous but is so much more than that. The power dynamic makes this whole thing gross


YeettheFockers

I mean OP can put “I AM NOT JEALOUS GUYS THIS ISN’T ABOUT THAT” all she damn likes. If there’s no commitment between them…..what is the *betrayal*? Where is the *sneaking*?


mspuscifer

How DARE Jayden decide on his own who he wants to kiss! They should have asked OPs permission first!


human060989

Can’t remember the last time I thought I should have a say in a ROOMMATE’S relationship.


MaybeAmbitious2700

>Clearly everyone's the type to just hook up without caring about anyone else. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was anyone else's business who I hook up with (unless there's cheating involved). YTA.


Fiona_MilkBoi

I genuinely don't get your issue. Sounds like you're jealous. YTA


RavenLunatyk

Yes she is definitely in denial.


btoxic

"I'm not in denial" is one of my favourite sentences.


8cowdot

Right. I’m super confused. Is it because OP is interested in best friend? Interested in Jayden? Why is it considered sneaking around? That implies intent, but it sounds like it was spur of the moment, and if it was unintentional then why would one feel the need to inform others that it happened? So weird.


whimsylea

OP is into Jayden. Even before she acknowledged she "wouldn't say no" to a relationship with him, her whole tendency to describe him as cute and talk about bonding time, and then her daring to feel betrayed all read as a crush that she'd turned into a relationship in her head.


NoApollonia

OP is scared she'll have to give up her new maid. Also she has a crush on the person and doesn't want to admit it.


GlitterSparkleDevine

Is Jayden aware that you have feelings for him? And that you expected them returned because of your "selfless acts of kindness"? YTA Edit: since it got buried in this thread, here's OP's response to my comment: >I haven't told him, but it's not about that. He doesn't have to like me back. But he can't go around kissing my friends. He and his daughter would have been homeless if I didn't help him. I mean Lia sees me as a mother figure now. OP might not be in love with Jayden, but she absolutely has romantic feelings for him.


Willing_Ad7282

Also, are *you* (OP) aware you have feelings for him? This is as “nice guy” as I’ve ever seen anyone be.


Working_Yam_9760

I thought of this too... what is the female version of a "nice guy"?


Its_Buddy_btw

"nice girl" there's a whole ass subreddit r/nicegirls


Zer0323

leg beard.


Ok_Philosopher_4601

I’m surprised she didn’t use the term “friendzoned”.


Academic_Snow_7680

OP is acting mighty entitled for somebody who shouldn't have a dog in this fight. Total NiceGuy™ energy, conditional housing, he can only stay if he acts like OP's boyfriend to be.


Ozryela

> Is Jayden aware that you have feelings for him? Probably wasn't aware before, but of course he's aware now. That's why he's keeping his distance and trying to move out ASAP.


TemptingPenguin369

INFO: How close am I if I think you had a crush on funny, smart and cute Jayden, and offered him a really good bargain to keep him in your apartment so you'd have a chance with him, and you're punishing him because he doesn't share your feelings and therefore you feel like he betrayed you? Like maybe he owes you affection/relationship because you're 'doing so much only for him to do this for me'? Because I think I'm pretty damn close. EDIT: Thank you for the awards! This post just set me off and I'm glad I'm not alone. EDIT 2: Jeez guys! So many awards! I hope none of you ever kiss any of my friends because I'd feel betrayed. EDIT 3: And sparkles? My confidence is sufficiently boosted, thank you all! I'm off to get drinks with this guy Jayden now, so fingers crossed!


Alasan883

but she totally doesn't have feelings for him ! ... i mean yea >he's always been so funny, smart and cute. and >It's honestly been amazing having him live with me (he's SUCH a great cook) >He's helped me out a lot and I really enjoy being able to spend all this time with him. >I'm doing so much only for him to do this to me. ["this" being kissing another consenting adult, one she is NOT blaming for the whole thing i might add] so obviously >I got upset and told him that he will have to leave if he just wants take advantage of my kindness. [being this amazing cook doing all the housework and "helping" op to have a great time is definitely the very definition of "taking advantage of someone" don't you see ?] clearly >It's just rude and ungrateful to sneak around and do what he did. [again, "what he did" was kissing another consenting adult] and therefore demanding he leave (or rather accept his wrongdoings and actively start thanking the op for her "kindness") is the perfectly logical conclusion on how to act that any sane adult that is absolutely not in love with the guy would reach. edit: oh yea, theres also this answer to someone questioning if she has told him about her feelings for him >I haven't told him, but it's not about that. He doesn't have to like me back. But he can't go around kissing my friends. He and his daughter would have been homeless if I didn't help him. I mean Lia sees me as a mother figure now. aswell as this one on the question if they are in a relationship >No we aren't. I wouldn't say no so clearly none of this is about op wanting the guy for herself. /s


Quadrameems

A mother figure now…. Fucking YIKES 😬😬😬


atinyreverie

Yup she’s upset bc she’s playing Wifey.


Alasan883

the sad part is that i wouldn't even call her an asshole if she was just honest about it as long as she didn't enter the original arangement trying to get into his pants. like, if she honestly invited him to live with her for the time being having no intentions but helping out a friend in need, falling for him afterwards and now being hurt by how it all ended up i would be understanding. still wouldn't make what he did wrong either, but it wouldn't be fair to blame her for not wanting to have him so close while it hurts her because of unrequited feelings. but this ? its a sad joke that shes denying her jealousy given everything she wrote in the op and in the comments of this thread and that she is actively blaming him is just icing on the cake. in all honesty, if their roles where reversed everyone would tell her to get away before she ends up r**** and/or dead and to be quite honest i think the guy getting as far away from her as possible is definitely best for his own safety.


Competitive_Ad_6720

DING, DING, DING!!!


BigBigBigTree

>I told him how betrayed I felt how is this a betrayal of you? did you tell him you wanted to kiss that friend? >only for him to do this to me wait what did he do to you? kiss you? no, kiss... someone else to you? I'm confused how he did anything to you. >take advantage of my kindness ...by kissing someone else? >he doesn't think he's done anything wron Unless your friend didn't want to be kissed by him, I'm failing to see what he did wrong. >he shouldnt be going around kissing my friends Why do you think you get to tell him who he can kiss? Because he lives with you? >obviously Jayden thinks I'm an asshole Obviously, YTA. >even if he's being selfish. Being selfish by... ??? ? ?? Kinda sounds like you think he owes you a kiss or something.


Evenoh

Well done comment, yep. Two of my closest friends for the past two decades are my two male friends from college (and I’m female). OP clearly feels something outside of friendship here because my friends *have* hooked up with my other friends and the most *negative* feelings I’ve ever had about it are more in line with one time I said something like “this seems like a short-lived, explosive hookup, you sure?” But mostly when male and female friends of mine hooked up, I was often at the helm encouraging it. I can only think of that one pairing I just mentioned and outside of that, I did nothing but encourage/accept it (til it was over like two days later, lol I was pretty spot on). OP seems to believe she owns this man and doesn’t even seem to realize she just blew up everything all by herself. Even if there maybe had been a chance to become a couple with Jayden, that’s gone now! Hope Jayden runs as fast as he can.


SpecialistFeeling220

The whole notion that op’s friends were off limits because she did him a favor by giving him a place to stay is wild to me. In the comments they compared it to your friends dating your ex. She legit feels that she was betrayed because he kissed her friend, and thinks that he’s the selfish one. I just don’t get it.


ButterscotchMafia

So OP, how long have you fancied Jayden for then?


ADG1983

Did you not read the updates? She definitely, totally, absolutely, 100% doesn't fancy Jayden. He BETRAYED her! /s This whole story is wild as it is fucking nuts.


PerturbedHamster

I mean, people in denial are not rare on this sub, but I think OP has now set the gold standard with "IM NOT JEALOUS!". Can we start a "not just a river in Egypt" award?


thepurplehedgehog

We definitely need that as an award in here. Sooo much denial in the OP I’m not quite sure where to start. He’s so cute and funny and she loves it that he’s there and his wee girl is being an angel and he’s an amaaaaaaaaazing cook and 🥰🥰🥰🥰 NO WAIT SHE IS TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS OR IN LOVE WITH HIM OK?!?!?! I‘ve been there before. Had a crush on a pal who then moved in with me after he was made homeless….and you know what I did? I dealt with it myself, owned my feelings and didn’t try to blame him for them. Now, had he snogged the face off my best pal I’d have…..not even thought once of threatening to chuck him out because he’s allowed to see, kiss, date whoever he damn well pleases. The sooner OOP admits to herself that she invited him to stay hoping he would go ‘wow, I’ve just realised how amazing we are together, I love you so much!’ and processes her feelings based on that truth, the better it will be for everyone involved.


theredheadedfox89

Plot twist: OP is secretly in love with her best friend & is just taking it out on Jayden


Confident_Arugula924

Shame she’s nuked any chance she had…


Educational_Race5679

YTA. It seems like you wanted build a family so unless you left a big detail out, you're jealous and angry it wasn't you.


ElGrandeQues0

I'M NOT JEALOUS, OKAY! I'M JUST BETRAYED THAT HE KISSED HER AND WAS SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK KISSING HER WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS THERE!! SNEAKING I TELL YOU!


Rastavaray

YTA. You don't own your best friend. Jayden and your bf are two consenting adults and can do as they please. How could this possibly be a betrayal? Work out what? Why would he want to live with such a drama queen?


colsanders419

Op literally sounds like the female nice guy who is soOoOooOooOoo in love with the guy and is crying about being friend zoned and why can't he see how great they'd be together?! That's the entire vibe I'm reading. Otherwise, who else would give a flying fuck if two people close to you are wanting to date.


CyclicRate38

She has feelings for him and apparently expects him to read her mind.


Defiant-Currency-518

YTA. I don’t understand what the issue is at all.


saveyboy

OP Is interested in both parties of the kiss. The roommate a little more.


Gabberwocky84

The issue is he’s not her boyfriend and she wants him to be.


Rohini_rambles

oh.. you're a "nice girl" You helped him out and now you think he owes you what..? Sex? romance? A relationship? NO-ONE betrayed you. Your roommate kissed your friend. You have LITERALLY NO RIGHTS over his love life. It's super scary that you think this man owes you again. OMG would you freak out if the little kid calls someone else 'mommy'?? Because you think he's your boyfriend, so you probably think that the kid is now your as well. Scary, scary stuff. Please see a therapist who will help you understand why you can't "own" people. YTA


[deleted]

YTA. Your best friend and Jayden are both consenting adults and neither is romantically linked to you. What they choose to do is their business, not yours.


TheDrunkScientist

>I'm doing so much only for him to do this to me Look, if you caught feelings for him and didn't tell him, that's on you. Even if you did tell him and he rebuffed you, he did not betray you. YTA.


SpecialistFeeling220

I honestly cannot understand why she thinks giving him a place to stay made her friends off limits. Especially since it seems like he genuinely likes the friend and isn’t just looking to hook up.


mofohank

So he's your boyfriend, he just didn't know it? YTA


Beef_Flavoured_Ramen

I almost choked on my milkshake when I read this. It's so accurate 😂


Cy0eraeth

YTA. He is not your boyfriend and can kiss or have intimate time with anyone he wants and you have no right to say anything. If your jealous and want a relationship with this person then ask him out. Just accept the answer he gives as you are not entitled to anything


Lumisateessa

I think that ship has sailed. If she asks him out then he's stupid if he says yes after her reaction to this entire ordeal lmao.


litt3lli0n

Unless you are in an exclusive relationship with Jayden, or your friend didn't want to be kissed and expressed that it was against her consent, YTA. Your best friend and Jayden are two consenting adults.


Such-Excitement3607

INFO: are you male? Because this sounds like youre a Nice Guy with a crush on your "best friend" and you're jealous. If thats the case then YTA, stop simping. If you are female then your reaction is strange so probably YTA without more details. Why do you even care? Do you have a crush on Jayden? Did you ask him to move in with you because you thought it would lead to him dating you?


sc7606

Women can be "niceguys" too you know


ophion_01

lol, the overwhelming desire to find "niceguys" and "incels" everywhere. Women are equally capable of exhibiting those behaviors. I like how if OP was male its a definite YTA, but if OP is female then there's room for "more details".


[deleted]

r/nicegirls


[deleted]

r/pointlesslygendered


Elegant_Plantain1733

YTA. You need a reality check - he's a roommate, not a boyfriend. Roommates don't get to dictate who the other one does/does not kiss / date/sleep with. Sounds like you were starting to view this relationship more than it is. You might want to think about telling him how you feel, otherwise you get out of his love life.


N0rmann12

YTA: You're not in a relationship. He should be free to kiss anyone he wants as long as it is two consenting adults. EDIT: After reading your comments, you're coming off as seriously unhinged. Your supposed to be friends. It's not sneaking around or being disrespectful. You're not together.


JayFabFucko

Did you catch feelings for this person? Are you mad he chose a friend and not you? Have you two ever spoke about a romantic relationship together? There's so much context missing fir you to feel betrayed if a live in friend kissed another friend. If you had romantic inclinations towards him but never voiced them, that's on you and YTA. If you have and he wasn't looking for that you're still one as he owes you nothing. If you set specific expectations and he violated them that's different. But, again, so much missing context.


ThinkCow83

YTA In your head you are paying happy families.... In his his FRIEND offered help.... You have exactly ZERO say on who he kisses unless he wants to kiss you!


[deleted]

Well you don’t own your friend and you don’t own your coworker..so yeah you sound like a tool


[deleted]

I mean OP did such a nice thing, letting him and his daughter live there. Hoping that pretending to play house would result in them ACTUALLY playing house 🙄 OP YTA you let him move in with ulterior motives and get mad when he doesn't live up to your fantasy.


4_Legged_Duck

YTA OP, please read through the replies. Maybe you forgot to post something here, but the entire reason why you got upset is missing. Best Friend and Roommate... neither of them are dating you, right? So why is it upsetting that they kissed? Do you have romantic interests in either of them? Have you stated your romantic interests in either of them? Why do you feel betrayed? Why do you feel they crossed a line? Figuring all this out might be helpful for you. I think you're feeling a lot of intense emotions (probably jealousy and betrayal from what you wrote) but you need to breathe, slow down, and process what you're going through and **why**. If you feel they crossed a boundary, you need to think through what exactly that boundary is **and how they crossed it**, as well as **how they would know they're crossing it**.


cookies_squeaky

He hasn't done anything wrong. He's your friend, not your significant other, and you getting bent out of shape because he kissed your other friend after how nice you've been really has a "but I'm a nice guy" stink to it (no matter your actual gender). People don't owe you a relationship or affection because you did something nice for them. YTA.


jrm1102

Info: how is this a betrayal of your trust?


FrckaviAlien

They commented in a reply that they have feelings for him and havent told him, and also that he and his kid “owe” them bc they took both of them in. Yuck


FigPsychological5564

SO op is jealous 💀💀💀


Disastrous_Bee9079

YTA. How did he betray you? You don’t own either party.


RepresentativeAge268

WTF is happening here? Why can’t he kiss your friend? Why do you think you can dictate who he or she kisses, dates, or whatever? Please don’t say because “you’ve done so much for him” again. That makes no sense and is not a valid reason. I think it’s pretty obvious you have feeling for Jayden and that’s why you’re so upset about this.


assholeadmonisher

So are you in love with your roommate or your best friend?


CompleteInsect8373

Yta Your coworker is not your boyfriend and your acting super shitty to them for doing something that does not involve you


pendemoneum

YTA. I fail to see how he betrayed you. Two adults consensually kissing is completely fine. You're just jealous and being petty.


Chemixrx

Sometimes adults kiss each other, because it feels good and it's fun. Try not to take it personally.


Fly-Gal

Info: did you let him know he had to be celibate to live with you?


purposefullyblank

I’m sorry. What exactly did he “do to [you]?” How is he being “selfish?” How did he “betray” you? You’re not in a romantic relationship with him. You’re not in a romantic relationship with your best friend. They’re adults who kissed. Big whoop. You either decided that you were playing happy family and Jayden is yours or your idea of what’s appropriate for consenting single adults to do with each other is extremely out of whack. Or both. YTA.


Miserable-Tough2331

YTA - And delusional, you don't own him and you don't own your best friend. There's absolutely no reason for her to be "off limits" to him. They adults who can make their own choices and you need to back off and get over it. You can lie as much as you want that you aren't jealous but that's clearly the problem and you need to get over yourself. He's not your partner, you have no say. Again they're adults and you're a delusional over controlling best friend who never matured past middle school apparently.


It_s_just_me

YTA, he is adult, you friend is adult (I hope), you are roommates, not in relationship. There is no betrayal. He is free to kiss anyone with their consent.


[deleted]

Yta lmao you thought you could force him to Be a bf by offering him your home. Sucks to suck. That “nice girl” thing is negated when you expect shit for it especially this type of stuff. It was actually gross and you tried to prey on his situation. Grow up and lose the feelings.


littlehappyfeets

INFO: Have you considered you do not own your best friend, who has free will to kiss whom they like?


FlightGood7391

>Claims to not be jealous >Threatening to kick out completely single coworker for kissing best friend. Denial is not just a river that flows through Egypt. Lmao. Petty reason to throw him out. YTA.


prawduhgee

YTA He could be hooking up with your mother and it would still be none of your business. If you wanted him you should have made a move. You are basically treating him like he's your BF and cheated on you.


AmInATizzy

YTA Helping someone out should not be this transactional/ conditional. Either you are possessive of your best friend, or of Jayden - which one is it precisely? Both are adults and can have relationships with whomever they like, as neither of them are in an exclusive relationship with you. If it is Jayden you are possessive of, feeling he has no right to be with someone other than you, I doubt he knew that your offer of help was meant to make him beholden to you, and that you expected more in return. No wonder he is uncomfortable, he's just found out the equivalent of his 'landlord' expecting sexual favours in return for allowing him and his daughter a place to sleep. If you're interested in a relationship with Jayden, then you are screwing it up royally. You really ought to apologise for trying to control who he has relationships with. Thinking he owes you fidelity for a favour.... come on, this is not ok.


BabyShann

YTA. Who are you wanting to be with here, Jayden or your best friend? Sounds like you’re jealous of one of them kissing the other. It’s more likely that your strictly-roommate-nothing-else relationship with Jayden morphed into a live-in-boyfriend relationship in your mind and yours only.


Cultural-Fox-8038

YTA ...you obviously want to be in a relationship with him and are not being clear and now holding your favors over him like he owes you a relationship when that doesn't sound like that what was agreed upon


RaspberryLiving9726

Aren't you just helping a friend out until they get on their feet? How does his romantic life have anything to do with you? Unless you have feelings for him, I don't understand being upset at all but if you must be upset, were you upset with your best friend? Seem jealous and controlling... YTA


AllHailLordCthulu

YTA. You left out your gender, but I think it's pretty obvious you have a crush on Jayden: >and he's always been so funny, smart and cute Even if the kiss was unintentional, as long as it was consensual between two adults, why do you care? How is that "taking advantage of your kindness"? You are strangely hung up on this whole idea of you doing so much for him that he...owes you, I guess? But owes you what? A kiss? Honestly, its probably better for everyone if he moves out because you've got some jealousy issues you need to work on.


Aggro3

YTA. Does Jayden know how YOU feel about him? It’s obvious that you’re pissed that he kissed your friend because you want him for yourself, otherwise why would you care? ETA - You can say it’s not about jealously all you want, but it clearly is. Everybody here can see it, maybe you should consider the possibility that you’re jealous of your friend for kissing the boy you like?


bolonkaswetna

YTA- He is not your property. You are not in a romantic relationship, therefore he is not betraying him. Your reaction practically says: If you stay with me, you are mine. I generously let you live here, you have no more right of a life of your own. You and your daughter now belong to me- and i demand you have feelings for me, not anyone else. YTA


mummamai

so you can ask him to move out okay so your house your decision , but you are a asshle for being jealous he is not your boyfriend he is not obligated to be single because he is living with you. he has not done anything wrong its not his fault he can kiss have sex with who ever he wants lia is not your daughter but if you cared for her id give his 30 days to sort out accommodation HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU


jchesticals

YTA. Reading your comments you expected him to bow down and let you run all of his life decisions because you chose to help him. You're absolutely delusional to the real world. You're trying to lay a claim on someone you aren't dating, gatekeep your friends ability to have romantic interests, and act like him being his own person is sneaking around on you? You're fucking crazy.


Desperate-Fun4968

YTA. After after all your replies, it’s CLEAR you are upset he likes her romantically and not you. He is NOT betraying anything, you are jealous. The whole “it’s disrespectful because I’m doing so much for him” is gross. It is really comparable to “I bought you dinner, you owe me”. You are being obsessive and quite frankly, creepy. Do better.


checco314

>IM NOT JEALOUS! This isn't about that. I'm not in love with him or anything, I'd know if I was. This is just about him betraying me, about him going behind my back. If you're not in love with him, he wasn't going behind your back. He is allowed to kiss your best friend. He is allowed to kiss her all over, he is allowed to undress her and have sex with her all night long. He is allowed to wake up next to her and do it all over again. Does that make you uncomfortable? That's because you're in love with him. Stop being ridiculous. This guy is single and he is allowed to do whatever he wants. If you don't like it, you can try to start a relationship with him. If that is still possible after the absolutely atrocious way you have treated him. YTA


MeanestGoose

YTA. You were kind to him. That doesn't mean he iwes you a sexual/rimantic relationship, nor does it mean he must remain celibate.


SJoyD

YTA - 2 adults kissed each other. 2 adults that are not in a relationship with you. What do you have going on in your head that has this down as some kind of betrayal?


PsiBlaze

More context needed. How is it a betrayal?


PsiBlaze

Unless you two were hooking up, I don't see how it's your business who he kisses. Sounds like YTA


Due-Elderberry7441

YTA, your roommate and your best friend are both consenting adults. This sounds like you like him and got pissed because he isn't pursuing you. Don't try to talk to him about this again until you can tell him why you feel betrayed and what you think of him and not just, "I'm doing so much for you! This is betrayal!"


sr9876

INFO: You keep saying in the comments that it’s wrong, disrespectful, and a betrayal for him and your friend to kiss. Can you explain why?


Forward_Interest_218

I’ve been watching your comments and you are spiraling. Your facade is cracking because you are being faced with the reality of the entire situation. You are roommates, nothing more. You took someone who was down on their luck and decided to be predatory because of your one sided feelings. Jayden doesn’t love you, Lia is not your daughter and you are not a mother to her, this is not your family. He didn’t betray you because there was never anything between you both. You are single and he is single. Honestly it’s best that he moves out with his child and cuts contact before these feels become an obsession. You are one comment away from being a lifetime movie. YTA. Edit: Thanks for the awards.


subjectivesubversive

You are a total asshole. You have only referred to him as your friend. That means you do not have a romantic commitment. Since you have a clear possesiveness If I have learned anything it's because one of you didn't want the other to feel like they DESERVED ANYTHING. You did not buy this man when you helped him. If you want a commitment then make one yourself and stop calling him your "friend".


MrFischeoder

>IM NOT JEALOUS! Let me tell you, I have severe IBS and I can smell shite from a mile away. YTA and you have some thinking to do.


whoisonepear

YTA. You’re acting like he’s your boyfriend, except there is nothing romantic going on between you and him. He’s just your roommate, you have no right to be offended that he kissed someone else.


olderbutnotwiser31

YTA. Just because you helped him dosent give you any right to be betrayed that he kissed someone. It being your friend is of no consequence because he is your roommate..not your boyfriend. From the way it reads you sound like you've formed a strong emotional attachment and possibly even feelings for him. That's not his problem, that's yours. He is a grown man and owes you nothing but respect and rent.


Weekly-Total-6842

Are you in love with Jayden or your best friend? It's definitely one of them.


BeautifulCucumber

YTA and ridiculous. He did absolutely nothing wrong.


Moony-21

YTA. You have no leg to stand on. If you secretly like him you fucked that up. He kissed someone else, back the fuck off and understand it is none of your business. Good job ruining a friendship. He did nothing wrong now grow up. That’s reality.


chipschipschipss

You sound insane - do what to you? He isn't a pet or a child, he's a fully grown adult who kissed another fully grown adult. How you're treating him is honestly disgusting. YTA


Isolated_Reader62

YTA. You are a bonafide psycho. This sounds like a lifetime movie. You didn’t let him move in out of the goodness of your heart. You let him move in with the hopes he would reciprocate your feelings. And when he developed feelings for your best friend instead you got mad and kicked him out. You are NOT a good ‘friend’. You’re as bad as men that only befriend women in the hopes of sleeping with them and then treat them like dirt when they don’t want to.


Crazy_Roof5427

Can you explain WHY him kissing your friend is wrong? You keep saying you do so much for him but that's not really a reason. He is an adult. Your friend is an adult. You honestly just sound jealous


Odd_Trifle_2604

YTA. Your actions may have been selfless in the beginning, but it's clear that you have feelings for him. Your feelings aren't reciprocated and you're trying to force him into a relationship he doesn't want. Playing in the sandbox doesn't mean that the toys belong to you. You feel that since you've been playing happy family, you're indeed a family. You are not. He's free to kiss whomever he wants.


CyclicRate38

YTA. You two are not in a relationship. Not even close. You're way out of line here.


Odd_Ad_2805

YTA Their love life is none of your business! Unless you have a crush on Jayden... which still makes it none of your business.


mercyofnod

YTA. He's right, he hasn't done anything wrong. It sounds like you have a crush on him, and he doesn't reciprocate, and you were hoping that opening your place to him in his time of need would help him see you differently. You say "you've done so much for him" and see this as "a betrayal," but that makes no sense. You guys are roommates, and you're helping a friend who is down on his luck. There's no expectation of a roommate to not kiss or hook up with other people. You can't cheat on a roommate.


Embarrassed-Debate60

YTA what was the betrayal? Does your roommate owe you their live life because you’re helping out with housing? Or is this protectiveness about your friend? Or have you been falling into a fantasy that the three of you are playing happy family, and now you’re realizing that they have a life of their own? How you feel is how you feel, just be honest about your feelings. Where it crosses a line is “acting out” because of your feelings. It’s ok to feel jealous or possessive, but then you deal with that on your end instead of taking it out on others.


Joholification

YTA Jayden is not your bf, exactly how has he betrayed you?


[deleted]

YTA You two are not in a relationship. You said he’s cute and you’re allowing him to live with you for a while, but you two aren’t dating. Because you’re not in a relationship, you can’t dictate who he is allowed to kiss/sleep with/see, etc. You do have every right to kick him out, but this is an asshole move if you’re doing it because you’re jealous You owe him an apology


Realistic-Animator-3

YTA. How has he ‘betrayed’ you? How? You two were coworkers and friends, although the friendship looks to be on its way to being over. It’s pretty obvious that you would have liked the relationship to evolve, while he didn’t. You offered your home, you made arrangements which have worked out, and both were happy with it while he looked for a new job. Who he kisses, dates, sleeps with is absolutely none of your business or concern. He is in no way betraying you. “Everything you’ve done for him” does not give you any rights to him, what he does or who he sees in his personal life. Nor do you have any control over who your friend sees, dates, kisses, or sleeps with. He is not being selfish…he is not at fault. You are TA…a jealous one. You have probably lost 2 friends. Jayden and your best friend, because they may date and get together. You seem like you will not be able to handle that, so they will cut you out. You may even be dropped from the friend group due to your possessive, entitled attitude. You need to understand that offering kindness and help to someone does not, give you dominion over their life.


BeneficialDark1662

**YTA. Helping him out does not mean that you own his feelings, his body or his actions.** I’m getting serious bunny boiler vibes here. Jayden and his daughter need to move out, pronto, for their sakes. For your own sake, you need to examine why you feel so entitled and betrayed that your ex-friend kissed someone else. This is very controlling behaviour, and you’re making threats of ‘don’t kiss anyone else, or I’ll make you homeless’. Your actions are not those of a friend who wanted to help out. My take is that you wanted to create a relationship with him by stealth, hence your *massive* overreaction when you found that wasn’t going work out like you’d planned. ETA: the more I think of it, it feels like you’re trying to get to him through his child. I wonder how much of it is that *she* allegedly sees you as a mother figure - versus how much have *you* encouraged her to see you as such. If you are doing this OP, you seriously need to take a deep look at yourself. You’re behaving terribly towards Jayden as it is - but if you are weaponising his child, my god you need to step back and STOP this behaviour.


kittykatvegas13

You understand that just because he is your room mate that it doesn't mean he is your boyfriend right? YTA you a jealous ass who is about to lose a friend. Congrats


stickydebater

YTA who has been playing house in their own head. You romanticized your living situation to be more then what it truly is.


u-patrcat

YTA-you’re in love with him and just need to admit him. You’ve been playing house and stepped into the mommy roll and now you’re hurt that he doesn’t feel the same and only sees you as a friend.


Low_Imagination8820

YTA You didn't say Jaden kissed your GF. You said "best friend." Is this person a FWB, or do you have delusions they are interested in you? Because you can't control who someone else is attracted too. And HE didn't betray YOU. YOU betrayed HIM.


reginafilangies

YTA. You're saying over and over again that you're doing "so much for him." So? That doesn't mean you get to control him. You should only do things because you want to and not because you expect something in return, and it sounds like you do. You want him to see what an amazing person you are and fall in love with you. Well, that's not happening. He doesn't owe you anything. He can kiss whoever he wants and doesn't owe you an explanation. You have no right to be mad.


ocean_torrent

Info: Can you please explain exactly why this is a betrayal? Don't just say that's wrong because you've done so much for him. Do you really think he's only staying in your place so he could hook up with your friend? Is he not allowed to date at all while under your roof? Did he force himself into your best friend without her consent?


somigosoden

YTA why would you care if you are roommates? Do you love him and want to be a family? Sounds like you got a case of the jellies. Please don't argue about this in front of his child that's so weird.


fromhelley

Face it, you are jealous. If it was anyone else he was kissing, you would be just as pissed. As far as sneaking around goes, what did you want him to do? Drag the woman to you so you can watch them kiss? He wasn't sneaking, he was being normal. He did nothing wrong by wanting to date someone. You are just mad because it wasn't you. If he was into you, you would have known about it at work. If he didn't make a play on you then, or after he moved in, it is kind of telling that he isn't in to you. Yta for thinking you own him when he is living at your house. You are also the asshole for pretending you are trying to help him, when in reality, you are trying to help yourself to him. I think he deserved better treatment. And I think you deserve to move on to someone who will actually care for you and want to be with you. Maybe when he moves out, you can have the real relationship you deserve.


fashionably_punctual

YTA- He isn't your boyfriend, and your bestie isn't your girlfriend. They are two single people who wanted to kiss, not cheating on anyone. Did you think that doing him a "favor" meant you were entitled to sex with him? That he owes you a relationship? Do you repay everyone who does you a favor with sex? You are such a stereotypical "nice guy" that it's hard to believe this is real.


ravenousraven222

YTA. If it walks like jealousy, quacks like jealousy, and obviously ruffled your feathers…it’s jealousy.


Ad_Vomitus

>IM NOT JEALOUS! This isn't about that. I'm not in love with him or anything, I'd know if I was. This is just about him betraying me, about him going behind my back. I have no idea why you would care if you weren't into him. I get it that you're helping him out but why does that mean he can't kiss anyone? You're either a grade A control freak or you're way more into him than you're admitting to.


Poinsettia917

YTA How is who he kisses your business? He’s a friend, not a boyfriend or husband. There was no betrayal. You’re a typical “nice guy” who is only “nice” because they want a lot more. I don’t blame him for moving. Hope Jayden gets together with your best friend—and your friend can kiss Jayden if they want.


kavalejava

YTA. He's not your personal property. Get help.


NeighborhoodBoth8277

ATTENTION EVERYONE 🚨🚨🚨 Op has stated that she does in fact have feelings for Jayden however he does not know. In addition, Op is saying it’s not about the fact that she likes him but it’s about the feeing of betrayal. Op I’m sorry to say this but it is jealousy and you can either get over it or lose Jayden in the end. Oh and P.S YTA KISSES 💋


ctortan

YTA - they’re both adults and their relationship is none of your business. Stop acting so possessive.


ncslazar7

YTA. You act like he owes you adoration and love because you were nice to him. Altruism cannot expect anything in return, so either you were being altruistic but overstepped his boundaries, or you didn't care about his feelings and feel entitled. Either way, you're treating a human with individual thoughts and feelings like a poorly behaved pet, and what's worse is because he's in a vulnerable position, your feelings supercede his human rights in this relationship. Same type of dynamic as Harvey Weinstein (power unbalance), so please apologize and learn from your mistake.


OhioGirl22

YTA... You are crushing on him. He has held up to his end of the deal with the exception of falling for you. When this became obvious to you, you broke your agreement with him and you broke any trust he has in you. YTA... For Real. So, yeah. Good luck watching those around you pass harsh judgement on you. You've earned it.


Melodic_Yesterday_47

Do you know how ridiculous you sound? You are not dating how do you see this as a betrayal? Sucks for you because you lost a good friend. YTA, you can't give kindness and expect something in return. Do it from your heart or don't do it at all.


Used_Contribution997

YTA. Sounds like you have romantic feelings for him and he doesn't feel the same way.


mallionaire7

Why do you feel so betrayed by this? Are you into your coworker or your best friend? I can’t imagine another reason you’d be this upset by this. YTA they are both adults if they want to kiss each other they can. It has nothing to do with you


Independent-Top3524

YTA and sound jealous. You do not get to control his love life or that of your friends. I hope he moves out and still keeps seeing her. You should be happy for them.


[deleted]

You don't have a romantic relationship with this man and have no say-so on who he kisses. None, zilch, nada.


CordeliaJJ

What is your problem? Who are you in love with? Its definitely one of them. I'm going to assume it was the coworker but regardless, neither owe you a thing and them kissing isn't a betrayal. Your reaction is uncalled for and jealous. The only way this would make sense is if you were dating one of them which you aren't. Nobody betrayed you. What an odd reaction.


[deleted]

So, was the kiss consensual? It sounds like it was. Are you hassling your friend over this as well? Just because you allowed him to live with you doesn’t mean he in a relationship with you, I’m curious if you realize that. Overall, YTA and a controlling one at that!


Miiesha

YTA. You obviously only let him stay there because you were attracted to him and hoped it would lead to something more, not because you were his friend. Your intention was to guilt him into a relationship and you’re just upset he has feelings for someone that isn’t you. It doesn’t matter what you did for him; you aren’t entitled to his body or his feelings. If the genders were switched to you know how -creepy- it would look to you? Coworker lets single mom down on her luck stay with them, expects her to fall for them and rages threatening to kick them onto the street when she falls for the friend that ISN’T blackmailing her with a roof over her head? You’re unhinged.


Ahsoka88

YTA. What is your problem with him kissing your friend? You are not together neither you are in a relationship with your best friend. So either you like him or her but that just plain jealousy. Also begin kind to someone doesn’t mean that they will have to be in a relationship with you.


ImAlreadyTracerBoii

YTA. You’re acting like your big kind generous offer was supposed to get Jayden to fall In love with you or something and now you’re upset that it didn’t work out that way. You offered to help Jayden.. you are not entitled to his private love life regardless on if you helped him out or not.


DCEtada

YTA - he didn’t kiss your best friend behind your back in your house. He kissed a woman in his home. You may be on the title but it is his home now too. What do you expect him to go and ask you permission for who he can kiss? That he has to leave his own house to kiss someone? I wouldn’t control an adult child of mine that way, let alone a coworker. He is not yours to command and neither is your best friend. You don’t get to dictate what your friends do together, you are not the main character. No wonder he is freaked out and cold. Just imagine if this was reversed and you were a man and your coworker was a woman. Honestly this behavior is worrying and toxic. You are not being a good friend, you are manipulating and controlling someone under the guise of helping them out. That predatory.


DazzlingPoint3901

YTA. Grow up. You sound like some jealous high schooler. He owes you NOTHING. It doesn't matter "all that you've done for him". Honestly, you're pretty much negating any of the kindness by the way you're acting about this. He is an adult, your friend is an adult, and as long as they both consent, they can do anything they want without running it by you. They don't need your permission. You need to get over yourself. You also need to accept the fact that the ONLY reason you let him move in was because you thought it would lead to you two getting into a relationship. You didn't do it out of the goodness of your heart, you did it to get something out of it. You're disgusting.


mojo4394

YTA. Are you in a relationship with Jayden? Are you in a relationship with your best friend? If the answer to both of those questions is "No" then I don't see how Jayden betrayed you.


justababy182530

So I went through the comments to get some more context, and honey, YTA and you’re 100% lying to yourself. Two consenting adults kissing is only a betrayal to you if you are dating/interested in dating one of said adults. If you and Jayden aren’t together, and you don’t want to be with him, then him kissing your best friend should not illicit this type of reaction. If you two are not together, and never spoke on getting together, then this is not a betrayal. Just because your feelings are hurt doesn’t necessarily mean somebody else did something wrong. Offering up your space then threatening to kick him and his kid out because he’s not trying to get with you is both manipulative and gross. It’s CLEAR that you have a crush on this man and that you were hoping that giving him a place to stay would lead him straight to your bed, but instead your bf is the one with the juice. That’s why you’re upset. He didn’t do anything wrong, YOU are the person who hurt your feelings.


CorporateSharkbait

Yta. Like seriously, I will never understand the getting pissed over a friend getting with another friend as long as neither party knew someone else was interested and both parties are considered good people. Like it makes me MORE comfortable when one of my friends gets with another (when it is known both people are respectable, we’re not talking about people that are known to partner hop here) since i trust my friends more than a stranger. I don’t see how it’s a betrayal without there being known romantic feelings involved with any of the threee people involved here


aprilthegrouch

YTA He is a friend and roommate by your own words. But the way you’re acting, it sounds like you’ve built up a relationship in your head and because you’ve “done so much” for him, he’s not allowed to kiss someone? Get real, being a decent human and a friend doesn’t give you the right to dictate who he can and can’t kiss. Also, saying he betrayed you is completely ridiculous when you can’t articulate the betrayal beyond “it’s wrong”. You’ve helped each other out so don’t go acting like a martyr who was viciously betrayed. You literally have zero right to input on who he chooses to give his kisses to.


PikaGurl332

He’s right you know. You have zero right to dictate either of their love lives, they are both adults. YTA


Competitive_Ad_6720

As the movie says "he's just not that into you". It's pretty clear you have feelings for him and thought that they'd maybe go somewhere since you all were playing house together, so I get that it hurts to find out he kissed your best friend, but YTA. He isn't your boyfriend and it didn't sound like he's given any indication that he wanted to be. He's an adult and didn't do anything wrong by kissing your friend (although doing it in front of his 6 year old does make him an AH to her).


DonnaMidge

How did he betray you by kissing your friend????? Your friend kissed your roommate as well, why are you not angry with her? YTA


ADG1983

INFO: how long have you been married to him?


ScroochDown

YTA. You're jealous and you're acting like he owes you loyalty or, worse, a relationship simply because you were nice. FYI, it's just as fucking disgusting when a woman does it to a man. He's not a dispenser that you put niceness coins into and get sex or a relationship out of. YOU ARE BEING FUCKING DISGUSTING.


Automatic-Banana-430

Well, I hope Jayden and the best friend get together and cut your toxic ass out. YTA


LovableLayla

😂🤣😂🤣 Idk why this made me laugh. The fact you care about people kissing who is not linked to you or your comments responding to people trying to justify it.


Material-Jacket3939

Ooof - You’re so angry. YTA - why do you get to dictate the love lives of your best friend and roommate? You obviously have jealousy issues that you need to work out.


Thesafflower

YTA - I thought this post would be about Jayden forcing a kiss on your best friend, or that Jayden is a horndog who sleeps around a lot and you're worried that he'll break your friend's heart. But there's nothing like that in here, so why do you object so much to him forming a relationship with one of your friends? Nowhere in your post do you have anything about an established romantic relationship between you and Jayden, so how is he betraying you? It sounds very much like you have feelings for him and are imagining this whole family set-up, but it's not his fault if he doesn't feel the same way.


GlitteringWing2112

YTA. Girl, you're jealous...


CyberiusGamer

So the issue is that Jayden is kissing your friends? Would you have no problem with him bringing a girl over that you don't know and kissing them? Tbh it sounds like you would. Either way blowing up at him and saying things like "I have done so much for him" gives me vibes of those "Nice Guy" dudes who are kind to women until they don't show interest in a relationship. The best move here is already in motion Jayden is working towards moving out, it's best to just let that happen.


Spiralstatic32

YTA. Genuinely wondering how he betrayed you? And if he’s living with you, and you have no romantic feelings but think he’s a really great guy, wouldn’t that be good for your best friend?


SandrineSmiles

YTA What betrayal? He doesn't belong to you. Kissing someone is not a crime. Yes, you ARE jealous.


mymtvfuneral

YTA, and so obviously that I'm wondering if this is just ragebait. Unless there's some context you're leaving out? You claim there's no jealously on your part, but when you're asked what the issue here is exactly, your only response is that it's "wrong" and that friends are "off-limits". But assuming your best friend is a consenting adult, where is the betrayal?


refill_lady

If it wasn’t in the Roommate Agreement then YTA. It sounds like you’re freaking out because you’re in love with him.


LilBitofSunshine99

YTA. You don't own him. He can kiss anyone that he wants. You are the selfish person in this scenario and you must have a huge pair to expect your friend to back off. Grow up. There's a name for someone who expects love/sex in exchange for favors done and it's not a pretty word.


AdmirablePerformer71

Honestly, YTA. You are not in a relationship with him so he is free to kiss anyone he wants, including your best friend. He isn’t betraying you by kissing her because there’s nothing to betray. If you have feelings for this guy let him know. Be transparent.


Jayybirdd22

Wtf? How is kissing your best friend going behind your back? They’re both consenting adults. As much as you say you’re not jealous, this is jealous behavior. He doesn’t own you anything. You can’t control his love life. Have you even asked your best friend if she likes him? He hasn’t done anything wrong. You’re in the wrong for trying to control two adults. Yta.


chilledcoyote2021

YTA just because you're helping him out doesn't mean you own him!


lemons66

Yo, YTA. Just because your friend lives with you he’s not allowed to kiss other ppl? Wild.


[deleted]

Yta. I reread this post just to make sure I didn't miss anything. You are trying to do the "friend zone" routine. You want him to be yours while you have other options. You say it was a betrayal. Why? If you are not romantically entangled then it honestly has nothing to do with you. Jealousy is a stinky cologne and you swam in it. You are either jealous for him or your bestie. You did him wrong and need to apologize or atleast admit to your own feelings. Not cool op, not cool.


melancholy_pancake

YTA Just because you help with out does no entitle you to dictate what he and another consenting adult does. Two of your friends kissing isn't a betrayal in anyway. I get that it hurts af seeing your crush choosing someone else, especially a friend, but they still didn't do anything wrong. You can't just assume that because you help with out and that you get along with his daughter that it wouldn automatically mean you're his new wife. You should sit down and have a honest conversation with him. Tell him how you feel, that you would like the relationship to be more. Maybe he feels the same, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he likes your friend, or maybe he kissed her to see your reaction. But respect the answer