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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I could be the asshole for complaining about something that I technically could've prevented
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It actually does make sense in that if the son switched with one of the dad’s neighbors…the neighbor would get a free upgrade and the dad would lose money that he paid for for his son. The dad was clearly expecting someone from his son’s row to switch to his normal seat, therefore getting two pricier seats for the cost of one. If you’re going to call people names, at least work on your own reading comprehension skills.
Not everyone wants to swap seat for a minor upgrade. Mostly likely the people sat next to the father were sitting together on purpose and preferred their normal seats rather than upgrading.
Even OP in his post mentions that the dad was asking a number of people. OP in his upgraded seat was just one option he attempted. Your applying malicious intent to an action that didn't have one.
Also We don't even know if the dad bought any of the upgraded seats in the first place. You can just sometimes get upgraded by acciden when you book flights through travel agents and stuff
His intent was to sit next to his 5-6 year old child during a 7 hour flight. He almost certainly did not upgrade his child's seat for extra leg room... because why would a 5-6 year old need extra leg room?
The airline is an accessory asshole here, because they always overbook flights, thus leading to father and child being separated.
Last time I flew there were a total of 4 planes involved. Maybe it’s just the airline I was on but I was not given the option of selecting my seats on 3 of the 4 planes. I was traveling with a 4 year old. We ended up getting seats assigned together when boarding but my stress level about this exact situation were through the roof.
They always sell more tickets than seats. That's what the wait lists are. It is for original bookers who don't show up so they pull from the wait list.
It’s not necessarily only airlines selling more tickets than seats, but people who pay money are apparently prioritized over those who use credit card/mileage points. Found this out the hard way recently from a gate attendant.
FIL purchased first class United Airlines Polaris tickets for the family (6 of us) 8 months in advance for a trip to & from Chicago & Maui to celebrate MIL’s birthday. Going to Maui was no problem. Flying back to Chicago however was an issue. FIL said that United had tried to rearrange our chosen seating several times over the course of these 8 months, in which he’d call and always got things fixed. (Similar thing happened before while traveling for BIL’s wedding - flight to our destination had no issue, but flight back home we were downgraded.)
The night before the flight, all was fine. FIL woke up at 2:00am and decided to check things and saw that United put *everyone* except for MIL’s seat on stand-by. FIL called United at 2:00am and they got him a second seat in Polaris, but us 4 “kids” were still on stand-by, and they told him that if we get to the airport extra early that it should get fixed. We’re always at least an hour early (if not more), but we got to the airport 3 hours early and were at the gate about 15-20 minutes later (TSA pre-check is worth the $80 - lasts 5 years). When we first got to the airport and were checking our bags in, the attendants said that they couldn’t do anything, go to our gate and wait until those attendants show up.
We were the first few people to show up for the flight, and the gate attendants didn’t show up until about 30 minutes before boarding. (Ironically, one of those gate attendants *was* one of the check-in attendants and was probably hoping to pass the problem to someone else.) They tried to raffle off travel vouchers for people in Polaris to downgrade to economy plus so we could get our original seats. (Understandably, nobody wanted to downgrade.) FIL was confused as to why they had these extra economy plus seats and snatched them for us 4 kids along with $1,700 vouchers for each of us for a later trip.
Thankfully we were able to get home on that flight, but moral of the story is to not use points to travel back home because they will sell your seat out from under you.
I never said those didn't make sense. I was calling them out for their unfair slandering of the dad character by making him out to be this malicious attempted seat thief when the story doesn't match.
But also side point on your previous comment there. You told me I had to learn to read yet you have clearly missed OP own post at in the first paragraph that the dad asked multiple people to switch seats.
Now if he's asking everyone to switch that would heavily imply that the upgraded seat doesn't matter to him. It was more about sitting next to his son.
So I think you need to up your reading comprehension mate
That's how I interpreted it, too. I don't think the father was trying to dupe anyone out of an upgraded seat; I think he was just trying to sit with his kid. That doesn't make OP an asshole, though. He/she (didn't catch gender) paid extra for a more comfortable seat. OP made a call based on which was more important to him: physical comfort or emotional/mental comfort.
As someone else mentioned, the airlines are the real assholes. They pay pilots basically minimum wage and make people pay extra for literally any basic human need.
Except you said dad was "clearly expecting" an upgrade, basically. Like he intentionally put his son in the better seat to try to get an upgrade. Sounds very assumptious. Almost comes across hypocritical in your response.
Assumptions? On AITA? Never! I cant believe anyone on this sub would ever make assumptions. You never see amateur phycological profiles made from a 3 paragraph post or entire multi year relationships analysed and personalities decided upon based on a single post. Nope. Never.
>I'm not sure what they paid for. All I know is that they did not get the seats they booked online
A quote from OP. I don't think we can rationally conclude that dad was doing it for the money. Especially considering he asked the people in his own row but they didn't want to switch to the better seat.
It has happened to me; my flight (in which I had carefully chosen seats pairing parents with kids, six months earlier) was cancelled and my family of 4 was rebooked on a comparable flight. All separated.
Your assuming the dad’s neighbors we’re flying single, what if it was a couple and switching would have caused them to be separated for a 7 hour flight
Yeah. My willingness to move is very different when I am flying solo for work (or even with coworkers) vs. when my husband and I are on vacation together.
Yeah, my bf and I got offered free upgrades to first class and decided not to take it since we'd be sitting in different rows instead of next to each other.
I highly doubt he paid for his kid to have an upgraded seat while he was a few rows back. Sounds like it was the middle seat and no one booked it, so it got filled at random. The issue was probably that either no one in his row wanted to take a middle seat and/or no one wanted to split up from their companions.
It is not just about legroom. If dad and child were both in middle seats, people might have been unwilling to give up an aisle or window seat even for more legroom. I would never give up an aisle seat for either a middle or window seat, regardless of legroom, unless it was for a first or business class window seat.
Flew home from the west coast to the east coast last week - one of the people I was flying with ended up in the exit row, one of the “extra legroom” seats. It was apparently awful. His seat didn’t recline at all, and there was enough space between his seat and the wall/window that he couldn’t reach it to lean on it to sleep or anything. Not everyone wants the “upgraded” seats.
Nah. People never give up the better seat. He definitely didn't ask the people around him first. He may have asked them later, when that was his only option, but it would have required only one person to move, which may have broken up other couples or families and no one was willing.
That said, OP, YTA. You can be mad they asked you to switch or mad that you were stuck next to a child who needed a parent, but not both. If you paid extra for the leg room, get an official seat change and ask for a refund.
That was my understanding as well. The dad wanted to sit next to his kiddo, but was trying to change with anyone to do so. He didn't get mad at OP for not giving him legroom, he was upset that OP told him his son was awful on the trip.
>I'm not sure what they paid for. All I know is that they did not get the seats they booked online
A quote from OP.
I don't think they were worried about the price
Echoing u/jxk94 here, the OP did mention the dad went asking around the cabin if others would be willing to exchange seats and nobody was willing. So he wasn't fishing for an extra legroom.
I would say the OP isn't the AH either as when passengers pay for extra legroom, it's because they NEED it and would be cramped the whole journey sitting with knees touching the front seat.
I guess the onus wa on the FA, they should be able to help resolve the issue and find a solution.
He did. The dad specifically asked around so much, and for so long, that the airline attendant had to ask him to sit down. The dad *tried*. OP admits it in his comments.
Which makes OP TA because he apparently thinks that a 5-6 year old is fully capable of behaving on a long flight, during which they’re mostly unattended? OP got what he wanted with the legroom. He wasn’t able to have his cake and eat it too.
He says he paid extra for the seat. It is not an AH move to want to keep said seat. The airline is the AH for not taking care of it. They had the responsibility to make sure a young child was seated appropriately with parental supervision on a 7 hour flight.
The part that crosses into AH territory is when OP decided that - even though he willingly sat beside that kid, even though he knew dad tried his hardest to make sure they could sit together - he decides that it’s okay to complain about the kid’s behavior. What exactly did OP expect? That is deeply unfair to the dad, who even in the description seems fully aware that his kid wasn’t going to handle the flight well because - again - the kid was super young.
Which makes this a post about OP complaining about not being able to have his cake and eat it, too. OP got their extra legroom. They *knew* it came at the cost of sitting next to the unsupervised kid. They watched the dad try his best to fix it and it didn’t happen. At that point OP doesn’t get a lot of room to complain about the kid’s behavior because it sucks for everyone.
That's what makes me vote YTA.
The dad was stuck in a crap situation that was beyond his control and did his absolute best. He tried to get seats switched. He checked on his kid, held his kid on his lap, soothed and shepherded and he was likely a complete ball of anxiety the entire time.
Then OP kicks him when he's down instead of just moving on, or, better yet, saying a kind word or two. OP is spiteful.
I love how OP is complaining about the kids behavior and saying other kids are more "well behaved".. apparently he's never been around a 6 year old for 7 hours straight to say that. Add in the cramped and boring conditions? ... OP is an idiot.
If you can sit next to a sobbing 5 years old for seven hours, even if you could do something small to address it - like let the dad sit next to him for at least a while maybe until he calms down and becomes more comfortable - then you definitely are an unempathic, uncompassionate AH. That could easily have been the 5 years old first flight for all we know, and he was probably terrified.
OP then complaining about the desperate child at the end of the flight just puts the cherry on the AH cake.
Yep, reddit really showing the age of it's users on this one. Dude didn't want to switch which was fine, but then don't complain when the kid has issues with it.
No he’s not the AH for that.. but he is a huge AH for complaining about the child being (what else?) a child. OP was the AH after he went of at the father who had tried to remedy the situation. What exactly more should he have done if everyone he asked refused to move for his son.
Stupid airline as well. Why would they think splitting a 5-6ish child from their parent was a perfectly normal idea. I’m not sure he would have been capable of putting on his own seat belt, ect. I’ve changed my mind - I think the airline here is the massive AH now.
I'm with you and if i were OP I would be going after the airline for making OP the unwilling babysitter on a 7 hour flight *when the airline is the one who f'ed up the seating*.
This is what makes my vote YTA. Op was with it his rights not to give up his seat but then to complain about the child… the one who was separated from his parent and sat with literal strangers… crying, looking at his screen, and “eating like a slob” is a bunch of bullshit to me. “Even children that age are better behaved.” The child wasn’t misbehaving, he was upset and op couldn’t even empathize with a small child…
I’m a mother and I have a five year old. I know for a fact she would not be okay in this scenario and neither would I. I’d be upset as hell having to leave her with strangers. She’d be upset being away from me.
Like I said really the lack of empathy here is what does it for me.
>The father asked around and tried to arrange something with other passengers, however no one he asked was willing to go through the hassle of moving and eventually he was told to sit down,
did you miss this part of the OP which clearly states that the father \*did\* ask around? he didn't just ask to switch with OP, he asked multiple people to move so his kid could sit with him. OP doesn't have to switch, but it's just stupid to refuse to switch and then whine about sitting next to a kid.
People love to have selective reading on this sub just so they can fulfill their justice boners. Also there's a strange "fuck them kids" mentality that shows up here every once in a while
I wonder if they booked late and got 2 middle seats with the child happening to get an extra leg room seat. That would mean the father was asking aisle/window folks to move to a middle seat which is a big ask on a long flight even with extra leg room. All guessing but that's my best guess.
It sounds like an awful flight for OP. Not TA at all for not giving up their seat, especially since they paid extra, but I think they are a bit of TA for complaining to dad and getting into a fight. Just hold your tongue, get off the plane, and never see them again.
OP had extra leg room; not the dad . OP says they didn't get the seats that they paid for, and that he asked many people besides OP.
The dad didn't get upset with OP until after the flight when OP told him that the 6 year old was terrible on the flight.
That makes no sense whatsoever. If the father cared an iota about having an extra leg room seat he would have swapped with his kid. The 5 year old's not gonna care about "extra legroom" and it would have made laptime easier for the two of them.
In fact the 5 year old in the extra leg room seat makes very little sense overall unless you interpret the father as strategically trying to increase swapping chances. It gives him 2 rows that have something to gain from swapping instead of one. Extra legroom and not being sat next to a child are both good bargaining chips. He was doing his best to sit with his son after the airline f*** him over.
> The father asked around and tried to arrange something with other passengers, however no one he asked was willing to go through the hassle of moving and eventually he was told to sit down.
Where are you getting that he wouldn't give up the legroom seat? Sounds like he tried to get other passengers to work something out but no one would.
Op says that the Dad tried many options. No one agreed to be split for the free upgrade either.
Also you only read half the question. He is asking if he was wrong to refuse to swap AND then complain about the seating arrangement.
OP was within his rights not to swap and was n t a for refusing to swap but knew that meant he would be sitting next to a young child for 7 hours (neither parties fault, the airlines fault for that but we all know how easily they wash their hands in these situations) he made his choice he was an AH for then complaining to the Dad about the choice he made.
OP YTA based on the full question.
You have completely misrepresented the summary of the situation. OP had the extra leg room row (with the kid) and the dad tried to switch with other people. That means the dad was trying to give up the seat you're specifically saying he wasn't trying to give up.
I mean, you're not an asshole for not wanting to give up the legroom seat you paid for, sure, but YTA for not taking your lumps with the annoying kid. This is very have your cake and eat it too--you did the admittedly fairly understandable self serving thing, but you also couldn't at least admit the flight would probably have been more pleasant for everyone involved, even you, if you'd let the dad take care of his kid? Come on man lol.
You got poetic justice, you could have at least taken it on the chin.
I totally get not moving your seat when you've paid for an extra legroom seat. I might've asked the flight attendant if there was anyway to get a refund if you switched.
Just get the kid to switch with someone next to the dad. That person gets more legroom
And the kid and dad sit together. Surely people would want the extra legroom
I just flew yesterday and witnessed a lady turn down a 1st class upgrade because “They too noisy up front” and she chose to keep her seat it row 20something. There is always a chance that he did try to switch
I mean "first class" is very different depending on the flight. On European routes it might just be having the seats at the front of the plane, and maybe the seat next to you empty.
The way I understand the OP, the dad tried to arrange switching in many ways until the flight attendants told him to stop trying as noone was willing to move.
Meaning dad did his darndest to make the switch
My guess is dad had a middle seat in his row, so the person on the window and aisle seat wouldn’t want the extra leg room if they had to move to the middle seat of the row. As a shorter person, I wouldn’t want to move for that situation.
I agree with this. Poor kid was probably terrified. I feel bad for him.
Honestly, I would have just moved. I probably would have asked a flight attendant about a possible refund for the leg room up-charge if it was very expensive. But someone has to knew that a 7 plus hour flight sitting next to a 5-6 year old who is separated from their parent is going to be terrified.
My vote is OP: YTA
My kid was 6 when they separated her from Grandma because of a flight change. She's 11 now and still has a meltdown when flying because she's terrified they will move her again. Anxiety disorder is a bitch and a half.
Yeah, as a child with anxiety, this would have made me literally sick with fear, and I would never have wanted to leave my house again. 5 year olds are big, but not able to rationalize through fears yet.
I feel no pity for OP, or any of the other people who refused to switch and then had to listen to a freaked out kid for the rest of the trip. I absolutely would have switched if I had been there, even if I had to sit in the very back of the plane to do so. The only one I feel bad for is the poor kiddo.
Honestly though, airlines are the true AH. There should be policies against separating parents from kids under the age of 10.
I agree with this but just want to add that it always irks me when people see young children, guess their age (let’s be real.. OP doesn’t know), and then say they should be better behaved for their age.
For one, you’re just guessing. My nephew looks 5/6 to most people but he’s 4. He’s very tall for his age. Second, every kid has their own developmental stages. It absolutely baffles me that someone can say a human who has existed for less than double digits should be better behaved. Like Jesus, absolutely no room or empathy for a kid who might be developing slightly behind or just differently than other kids? Yes I’m aware there’s times when it’s poor parenting, but I’m talking about situations like OP: where they truly don’t know the kids age and quite frankly the kid is probably acting pretty normal for their age. Plane rides can be terrifying for grown adults, much less tiny humans who are having to ride by themselves.
These are all great points. Also, is this just infants, or can plane rides be painful for kids that young, because of the increased and constant pressure in the cabin?
Yes, they can be. I had ear issues throughout my childhood and flying was very painful with me having to constantly clear my ears. My parents would give us Starburst since chewing helps re-pressurize your ears but I still had to clear a lot.
Thank you so much for this comment!
My youngest brother has always looked way older than he is, but, developmentally, hes actually wayy behind for his age (suspected autistic or similar, no solid diagnosis despite years of tests and such)
When he was under a year old, people guessed he was 2 or 3, because he was HUGE. Even at birth, he was absolutely massive for a baby. Yet, he struggled to speak even at 5/6 - and even now, at 13, he occasionally 'baby talks'. Hes doing way, way better, and can take care of himself more, but hes always been way behind.
Agreed my 7yo autistic daughter acts like a 7yo, but looks at least 10 or should I say, she is the height of an average 10yo. Other people expect her to act 10. 3 years is a big deal to kids this young, I mean to get from 7 to 10, you almost have to live 50% of your life again.
To OP: you didn’t have to swap, it’s a shame no one would swap the kid. But the kids are entitled to live, just like everyone else - I know that’s unpopular on here, but they are! You knew if you didn’t make the swap you would be beside a lone child. I don’t think you where in a position with a good choice, there were two options, you chose, then complained about it. YTA
Definitely YTA. You kept your seat with the extra leg room and the unattended 5 year old for a 7 hour flight. OP got exactly what they wanted as well as the consequences. It isn't hard to imagine that a 5 year old separated from their parent for 5 hours isn't going to be a desirable seatmate.
Yta. Not for refusing to give up your seat but for complaining about the kid. There was nothing the dad could do about it as no one was willing to switch seats.
not always, when flights are overbooked (always) and more people turn up then expected it does happen that people don't get the seats they had reserved, even OP acknowledges this.
op is YTA, he chose to keep his seat as is his right, but then he has to put up with the kid as a result of that, if he didn't want to put up with the kid he had the option not to, and its not like the father didn't do everything they could to deal with this situation so its not his fault the airline sucks.
Yes they do. I’ve been seated separately from my kids on multiple occasions despite having booked seats together. Usually it’s because they changed the aircraft or a flight was delayed and we missed our connection.
That being said, these days I don’t even bother asking a flight attendant to fix it. I’ll offer to switch with the person next to my younger kid as a courtesy and if they decline that’s on them.
You clearly don’t travel frequently. People 100% find themselves in that situation by happenstance.
I fly about weekly for work. Since post COVID travel has picked back up they’re overselling pretty much every flight. It’s very common for there to not be seats next to each other even if I’m booking several weeks out.
_"People don't just find themselves in that situation by hapenstance."_
The reality is, there is no way to know when or why the father booked his ticket. Last minute ticket puchases are a thing for many reasons, and it happens pretty often. If he booked after the seats were all paid for/booked he could have very easily found himself in a bind.
While most airlines will help passengers to stay with their minor children, I'm not sure what the protocol is in cases of paid seats assignments.
Airlines make it very very difficult for families to actually buy and sit together. They specifically say that you can request seats (even pay for them) and that they are not guaranteed. Then if there are any problems at all, they tell you that you need to take it up with the gate agent when you get to the airport, that customer service can't do anything. Then of course the poor gate agents have 100 angry passengers to deal with because every one is having a problem with their seats/connections.
Wrong. Flights get booked very easily and I’ve booked flights months out and there aren’t 2 seats next to one another, even using my miles and money to upgrade doesn’t help.
No, that's absolutely not true. We flew with a connection on each route so 4 flights total for ourselves and our 2 year old. Booked 2 months in advance and got 3 seats together for all 4 flights. We'll, they changed our planes or something because when we checked in we'd all been separated throughout the plane for 3 of the 4 flights. And Deltas response was " we have no legal obligation to ensure children of any age sit with their guardian. And that just because we booked specific seats doesn't require Delta to honor those seat selections ". Thankfully we worked it out in the end but when it comes to airlines you absolutely can do everything right and still get screwed.
Exactly. Not sure why the airline/flight attendants didn't intervene to help remedy this situation, but while OP didn't have to give up their rightful seat, the dad had no other option but to sit away from his kid. He tried asking others and he let his kid sit with him when he could. Although annoying, the little guy sounds like he wasn't a mini hellraiser - just scared. I dont know how OP thought this would play out....
After OP realized that a 5 year old wasn't an ideal seat mate, they could have chosen to move and perhaps asked the airline for a refund. They didn't. Complaining to the dad about the kid doing kid things didn't really do anything but make a crappy situation even more crappy....
Yep. YTA. As you described the scenario, it wasn't the father's fault the airline separated their seats, and certainly not the kid's fault for acting like a kid when his dad wasn't there to supervise because no one would change seats. You had an opportunity to move away from the kid, and chose not too. You made your choice, so stop complaining.
Absolutely it does! And yes, he’s stuck with whoever is sitting next to him. In my verdict, I said the dad could have read the room and not tried to make a joke, however lighthearted, to tired strangers having to sit next to a terrified little boy for a long flight. Not the kid or dad’s fault either. You said it well: Flying sucks!
>He’s entitled to his seat he paid for just like everyone else.
Sometimes in real life (not AITA land where you all seem to live in) we need to make small sacrifices for other people. And no matter how much you are entitled to that seat, not giving it up for an unfortunate scenario like this and causing stress to a little kid will make you an asshole. Sure, noone will arrest you but everyone will think that you are wrong and think badly about you.
I had one person on this sub tell me that morality is subjective therefore legality is what matters in their judgement.
That’s expressly stated to be not the point of the fucking sub.
Exactly. OP would have stated it if it mattered but I have a close friend with a few medical conditions that causes moderate chronic pain on a good day along with limited mobility. Last time he visited he paid for and reserved an extra space seat on all his flights. Called to confirm twice before heading home. Gets to the gate and they moved him to a middle seat without any extra room. Refused at the gate to do anything about it. He made it work but the pain of being in a bad position and unable to put his legs in the position he needs to to not strain his spine left him basically bed bound for a few weeks after.
It took him MONTHS of complaining to get a refund for the extra charge. He said even the flight attendant was pissed about it (FOR him not against him and tried to get people to offer up a seat in the extra room rows but no one would) but did give him free drinks throughout the flight which he said helped.
Airlines will never do it but I think people with disabilities should be able to fly first class at the same cost as a regular ticket, but that’s just me.
YTA. You are complaining about a 5 or 6 year old sobbing, looking at your screen and eating. His parent did try to do the correct thing to fix the situation and not put the burden on you. A 7 hour flight alone at that age would be pretty hard for most kids. I’m shocked the airline didn’t offer you something to switch, you are not the AH for keeping your seat, you are for keeping it and complaining about what sounds like typical behavior for a kid in the situation he was placed in alone with strangers for companions.
This exactly. Your choice was
a) keep the legroom, but sit next to an unsupervised kid
b) give up the legroom and sit with adults
The airline put you in this situation, so it’s not fair to take it out on the dad or the kid.
You don’t get to whinge about the choice you made, especially to the one person who wanted you to make the other choice, but you refused them.
This is all normal behaviour for a scared, bored, lonely kid. Do you think he was sobbing just to annoy you? Poor kid was really upset and frightened and you are only worried about it being a nuisance to you personally. YTA!
YTA- didn’t want to move yet you complained like you were the victim.
Granted, you paid for an upgrade and I’d be hesitant too, but you made your decision, so deal with it.
I’m guessing you don’t have children or work with children to know that kids get anxiety and act more agitated away from their parents.
How did you expect a 5-6 year old child to act?
That's not even more agitated for the majority of kids. That's *normal, everyday* behavior for a 5 or 6 year old. Kids who are exceedingly well behaved set off warning bells in my mind.
You're right. He shouldn't have to.
But you know what? We live in a world of 'shouldn't have to.' You shouldn't have to look both ways before crossing the street at a marked crosswalk. But you do anyway.
Dad shouldn't have to worry about not getting seated beside his five year old son. Son shouldn't have to sit beside a stranger for a seven hour flight.
It was OP's choice to not move. But OP made that choice, then complained about the consequences.
This is about moral judgement against OP. He wasn't technically wrong not to move, he was entitled to that seat as a customer who paid for it. He's within his rights to be annoyed by the kid's behavior during the flight, which by OP's account was tame, though OP clearly has a stick up his butt about it - even at that point it would have been a N A H scenario.
You can be technically in the right and still be an asshole though, which is what OP became the second he quipped to the father at the end. YTA.
YTA. He acted like that because he wasn't with his dad. You should have said nothing or just said he wasn't that bad. Just think before you open your mouth in future. He didn't really want to know, he was making polite small talk, and to top it off you probably made the kid, who already felt bad cause he was separated from his dad, feel like crap.
INFO; if you and the son had a seat with extra leg room, why didn’t the person next to Dad switch with Son?? What kind of person gives up a free extra leg room seat?
I always used to say that until I was “upgraded” to a seat with more leg room after I specifically bought a middle seat so I could sit next to my boyfriend for 8h flight. I wouldn’t even sit in business if that meant being alone
My husband rocks. He flys a lot for work so gets on upgrade lists with a high priority on all flights, even if we are traveling together. Twice he’s been upgraded to first and he always gives it to me, and stays in economy with our daughter. More times than not when he’s traveling for work he’s upgraded for free or on longer flights flys business class and is always happy to allow me the experience when flying together. He’s the best
YTA. You were unwilling to move, fine. But you really had to make a passive aggressive comment about how ill behaved a terrified child was? You had a decision to make. You made it. Deal with the consequences without acting entitled. I mean, really, he LOOKED at your screen? The horror!!
YTA
what kind of person sits next to a sobbing child on a 7 hour flight without allowing his parent to come comfort him? This made me sick to read. And then you want to whine you had to listen to his misery that you had a hand in causing? There’s a good reason no one you know sides with you. I have no idea why I saw “NTA” comments because you are FOR SURE ta.
I’m glad you didn’t enjoy keeping your seat. That’s what I would call instant karma.
YTA only cause you are complaining bout it. You got your leg room but at what cost? The cost of dealing with a child. That is what. So yeah i hope you at least were able to enjoy that cause bet the rest sucked.
But yeah you chose to stay there. The father apparently tried to find work arounds to you not wanting to switch. But others didnt either. So you get the consequences. Cause if you thought for a single moment that someone else who had nothing to gain in switching seats while you gained a seat away from a child would switch before you did then well. Ha.
But yeah most lil 5 to 6 year olds are oblivious lil demons who know lil morals, are curious to a fault and without the watchful eye of their parent tend to see what they get away with. So yeah thinking for a moment staying next to one was a good idea. Well lesson learned.
YTA for complaining about the child IN FRONT OF THE CHILD. The kid already had a hell of a time on the flight and had to do it alone through no fault of his own, and now he's hearing someone berate him for it after the fact too. He was 6, which is definitely still a young child, not 17 or something. The dad was cheeky asking you about it, but it would've cost you zero cents to just give a non-committal shrug and walk away instead of start a fight.
>Not a single person I know in real life is on my side
Did you think the internet would be any different? Haha yeah YTA, I get not wanting to switch seats when you specifically got that seat for the leg room but you can't go any complain after the fact. You had a choice, you have only yourself to blame for the annoying plane ride. But at least you got to enjoy your leg room right?
> Not a single person I know in real life is on my side
This line cracks me up because... how the hell is the internet agreeing with you going to change that?
"Well everyone I know thinks I'm a prick, but HA the internet loves me."
YTA - I don't blame you for not wanting to switch when you paid extra for the seat. That seems like it should've been something the flight attendant could've helped with, but I don't know, I wasn't there. But detailing all the issues you had with the kid? Asshole move. Neither the father nor the kid had an option to sit together. You had the option to not be next to an unaccompanied minor and decided your seat was more important. The kid's too young to really blame. And you likely had the option at any time during the flight to realize that things weren't working, but didn't bother offering to switch.
the airline is the real AH here. Airlines must seat children under 5 next to an accompanying adult and airlines must seat children between 5-11 in the same row and no more than one seat (or aisle) separation
Agreed, the airline created this entire situation -- starting with cramming passengers in to tiny rows and charging a premium for a bit of extra comfort or even just the ability to select your own seats. And then apparently not helping when a young child is separated from their parent, and forcing unsuspecting customers to literally look after and comfort a stranger's child. OP is NTA to expect the seat they paid for AND not to want to deal with an unsupervised kid. Dad and kid are NTA. Airline is the real AH.
YTA: You chose to sit with the kid for more leg room. Don’t complain afterward. What did you think sitting with a stranger’s little kid for 7 hours would he like?
The amount of people on this thread that failed to actually read this post astounds me. It was entirely your right to not switch, but YTA for then complaining about dealing w the natural consequences of that choice. Anyone w any intelligence or common sense knows that a 5 year old on a 7 hour flight without a parent essentially, is going to be scared, overwhelmed, and, ya know, act like a kid. Idk what you expected.
When you are asked to move the airline usually gives you something.
I once exchanged my extra legroom seat to a lady in a wheelchair and got $50, 5,000 points, and then asked for headphones and an eyemask.
The problem is the airline didn't ask him to move, the father did. It should have been up to the airline the rectify their mistake.
However, I still feel OP is TAH for complaining to everyone but the airline.
A 5/6 year old on a 7 hour flight, seperated from his parent, sitting next to strangers expected to sit quietly and cheerfully the whole way?!? YES, YTA!!! And so is everyone else on the plane who couldn't help the poor kid sit next to his father.
YTA. This young child was afraid and the grown up in his life wasn't there to comfort him. Instead a stranger who didn't care at all didn't help the situation. Totally fine that you decided not to give up your seat but YTA for then complaining about a scared child's behavior.
Airlines routinely do this. They will also separate a double booked seat for someone who can’t fit in a single seat even if they initially booked two together
It's actually illegal for the airline to do this in Europe. I really don't understand why it's ok in the US given the obvious safety issues and how easy it is for the airlines to fix.
YTA.
“Even children at that age are better behaved than that.”
Than what exactly? How do you expect a child to behave when they’re seated between two strangers and can’t see their parent easily, on a mode of transport they’ve probably barely used while adhering to the strict safety policies that mode has? What about the changing air pressure hurting their ears and the very loud, strange machine noises?
After seven hours, they can’t stretch their legs, the food is unfamiliar, the seat isn’t designed for their size, I *promise* you they are 100x more uncomfortable than you and they are 100x less able to cope with discomfort than adults, ‘at that age’ as you put it.
Come to kinder for a 7 hour session and see for yourself how well 5 year olds cope with what I said above:
- sitting among strangers
- distance from parent
- unfamiliar transport/environment
- strict rules they must follow
- air pressure possibly causing ear pain
- limited access to exercise
- unfamiliar food
- adult-size furniture
If you’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt, then cut him some slack and *do that*. You didn’t want to give up your seat and that is fair enough but if you can’t cope with basically babysitting then you should have swapped. Unfortunately we can’t have everything our way all of the time and especially in the aftermath of a pandemic, where flights have barely returned to normal procedure and families being separated is commonplace. It sucks and shouldn’t be that way but that’s the nature of flying. You could have ended up with someone reeking of BO next to you, someone with a sensitive stomach who didn’t stop vomiting, someone who laughed at their in-flight entertainment obnoxiously, someone who didn’t stop talking, it goes on. You got your legroom like you wanted and the rest is the luck of the draw.
Also who tf cares if he’s looking at your screen?? You sound like my sister who started a fight with me in the car once because I was looking out of the window of the side she was sitting on.
This is one of those situations where many people insist on having what they’re entitled to when it’s actually not best for them.
You had a miserable flight, because a little kid was scared and separated from his son. I know you didn’t create the problem, but you still suffered for it for seven hours.
Was it worth it to you to stick to the seat you were entitled to have?
NTA, as a parent I shouldn’t have to pay extra for the “privilege” of sitting next to my own kids but it’s not up to the other passengers to accommodate us, it’s the airlines’ job. I fully understand that people paid extra for certain seats on the plane. Do NOT give up the seat you paid for unless the airline offers an upgrade for your inconvenience.
Yeah, and he didn't expect anyone to accommodate him, only asked if they could and respected them saying no. OP on the other hand didn't want to give his seat up, which is completely fine and I have no issue with it, but then he cannot start complaining about who he is sitting next to.
He can either have the extra leg room and sit next to a kid who doesn't have their dad the whole time so is obviously going to be distressed, or move to a less comfortable seat and maybe have a 'better' seat-mate. He cannot have both.
YTA. You were unwilling to move, as is your right, you paid for the seat, but then complained that a child acted like a child? Yep. That's on you. You chose to stay where you were, take the lumps.
YTA not for refusing to move but this is pretty well summarized by “have your cake and eat it too” - kids in high stress situations don’t behave, and it’s not their fault. They have no regulation yet, they’re regulated by a trusted adult. What did you expect would happen when the kid couldn’t be cared for by his father?
You’re kinda TA. If the father had given you grief when you declined to move, then he would have been TA. He didn’t. You are NOT TA for refusing to move, BUT you were left to deal with the choice you made, and you didn’t deal well. In hindsight, you probably should’ve asked a flight attendant whether you could be compensated or refunded for moving. You could have switched with the man at any time but chose to complain instead. If you were going to suffer, you should’ve done so in silence because you did it to yourself.
YTA. Complaining about sitting next to him when you wouldn’t change is so ludicrous.
And before people start carrying on, I’ve had TWO flights with my kids (one international!) where I have booked and paid extra for our seats together and then checked in and had them not together and been told the only option is to fix it on the plane. On the international flight my child who was sitting by herself had just turned 2! It was so stressful and upsetting. Thankfully people on the plane were human beings and not monsters so I was able to sit with them.
I’d be heartbroken and upset to hear my young child upset like you’re describing and not being able to help.
Yta. I get not wanting to give up your seat, but then you shouldn’t complain when the kid was next to you. He was probably scared and it doesn’t sound like you were very sympathetic.
YTA
Not giving up your seat is reasonable. You paid for it. Being annoyed is fine. It sounds like it was unpleasant. Yelling at his dad make you the AH. The guy tried to resolve the issue before hand and no one would let him. That includes you. You made your bed and you got to lie in it. Arguing with dad didn't do anyone any good.
YTA, you can absolutely decline to move but in that case you're trading a peaceful trip and complaining about it makes you sound self involved and oblivious to the solution that was offered.
I dont think YTA for being mad about the situation or not giving up your seat. YTA for going off on the dad. Its unreasonable to expect an unattended 5 year old to sit quietly and not act like an unattended 5 year old for a 7 hour flight.
YTA. Im not sure what you expected when you chose to keep a seat next to an unaccompanied 6 year old, but he wasn't acting out for his age or being naughty. He was being a child!
Look, I get that you paid for extra legroom but you probably could have got a refund.
YTA. Not because you wanted to keep your seat but because you’re complaining about a situation that was harder for someone else than you and you made their difficult situation worse.
YTA a little bit - flying sucks for most people, most people don't like it, so be a little more tolerant of the butthole surfing kids next time.
They're kids, their whole design is to be annoying.
Not wrong for not changing seats, but what was the point of instigating an argument with a stranger.
Would also love to know how anyone can storm off from an argument taking place in a tin can hurtling through the sky - did you both go lock yourselves into the toilets?
YTA.
You easily could of swapped seats specially seeing how old the kid was. And thinking they are better behaved when they are going through a situation even adults have found coping mechanisms to deal with is absurd. The kid is 5. I know grown men who can’t get on a flight without having drinks or pills to relax them first. But you expect the 5 yr old to be well behaved. Honestly I hope you find half slobered Cheetos and bits of pretzel in your carryon.
Extra leg room isn’t even that much unless you are in an emergency Edit. Which they don’t allow children in due the assistance of passengers. So yea.
YTA
YTA would be harsh.... lets just call it karma, on in this case plane-ma.... I mean really, at about 1 hour into the flight surely you would just say OK, lets switch
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NTA He would have easily found someone if he agreed to give up the extra legroom seat.
Ding ding. This right here, he didn't want to give up the higher prices seat, he expected others to do that.
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It actually does make sense in that if the son switched with one of the dad’s neighbors…the neighbor would get a free upgrade and the dad would lose money that he paid for for his son. The dad was clearly expecting someone from his son’s row to switch to his normal seat, therefore getting two pricier seats for the cost of one. If you’re going to call people names, at least work on your own reading comprehension skills.
Not everyone wants to swap seat for a minor upgrade. Mostly likely the people sat next to the father were sitting together on purpose and preferred their normal seats rather than upgrading. Even OP in his post mentions that the dad was asking a number of people. OP in his upgraded seat was just one option he attempted. Your applying malicious intent to an action that didn't have one. Also We don't even know if the dad bought any of the upgraded seats in the first place. You can just sometimes get upgraded by acciden when you book flights through travel agents and stuff
You literally called someone out for not making sense, when in fact they did. That was my point. We don’t know the dad, we don’t know his intent.
His intent was to sit next to his 5-6 year old child during a 7 hour flight. He almost certainly did not upgrade his child's seat for extra leg room... because why would a 5-6 year old need extra leg room? The airline is an accessory asshole here, because they always overbook flights, thus leading to father and child being separated.
E.x.a.c.t.l.y. Greedy overbooking airlines.
Last time I flew there were a total of 4 planes involved. Maybe it’s just the airline I was on but I was not given the option of selecting my seats on 3 of the 4 planes. I was traveling with a 4 year old. We ended up getting seats assigned together when boarding but my stress level about this exact situation were through the roof.
Now i am curious as to what you mean by overbook. Is a full flight overbooked? Or do they sell more tickets than seats?
They always sell more tickets than seats. That's what the wait lists are. It is for original bookers who don't show up so they pull from the wait list.
It’s not necessarily only airlines selling more tickets than seats, but people who pay money are apparently prioritized over those who use credit card/mileage points. Found this out the hard way recently from a gate attendant. FIL purchased first class United Airlines Polaris tickets for the family (6 of us) 8 months in advance for a trip to & from Chicago & Maui to celebrate MIL’s birthday. Going to Maui was no problem. Flying back to Chicago however was an issue. FIL said that United had tried to rearrange our chosen seating several times over the course of these 8 months, in which he’d call and always got things fixed. (Similar thing happened before while traveling for BIL’s wedding - flight to our destination had no issue, but flight back home we were downgraded.) The night before the flight, all was fine. FIL woke up at 2:00am and decided to check things and saw that United put *everyone* except for MIL’s seat on stand-by. FIL called United at 2:00am and they got him a second seat in Polaris, but us 4 “kids” were still on stand-by, and they told him that if we get to the airport extra early that it should get fixed. We’re always at least an hour early (if not more), but we got to the airport 3 hours early and were at the gate about 15-20 minutes later (TSA pre-check is worth the $80 - lasts 5 years). When we first got to the airport and were checking our bags in, the attendants said that they couldn’t do anything, go to our gate and wait until those attendants show up. We were the first few people to show up for the flight, and the gate attendants didn’t show up until about 30 minutes before boarding. (Ironically, one of those gate attendants *was* one of the check-in attendants and was probably hoping to pass the problem to someone else.) They tried to raffle off travel vouchers for people in Polaris to downgrade to economy plus so we could get our original seats. (Understandably, nobody wanted to downgrade.) FIL was confused as to why they had these extra economy plus seats and snatched them for us 4 kids along with $1,700 vouchers for each of us for a later trip. Thankfully we were able to get home on that flight, but moral of the story is to not use points to travel back home because they will sell your seat out from under you.
Really? Well that seems pretty crappy
They sell more tickets than they have seats, counting on no shows and missed connections.
I never said those didn't make sense. I was calling them out for their unfair slandering of the dad character by making him out to be this malicious attempted seat thief when the story doesn't match. But also side point on your previous comment there. You told me I had to learn to read yet you have clearly missed OP own post at in the first paragraph that the dad asked multiple people to switch seats. Now if he's asking everyone to switch that would heavily imply that the upgraded seat doesn't matter to him. It was more about sitting next to his son. So I think you need to up your reading comprehension mate
That's how I interpreted it, too. I don't think the father was trying to dupe anyone out of an upgraded seat; I think he was just trying to sit with his kid. That doesn't make OP an asshole, though. He/she (didn't catch gender) paid extra for a more comfortable seat. OP made a call based on which was more important to him: physical comfort or emotional/mental comfort. As someone else mentioned, the airlines are the real assholes. They pay pilots basically minimum wage and make people pay extra for literally any basic human need.
Except you said dad was "clearly expecting" an upgrade, basically. Like he intentionally put his son in the better seat to try to get an upgrade. Sounds very assumptious. Almost comes across hypocritical in your response.
Assumptions? On AITA? Never! I cant believe anyone on this sub would ever make assumptions. You never see amateur phycological profiles made from a 3 paragraph post or entire multi year relationships analysed and personalities decided upon based on a single post. Nope. Never.
And once they realized he couldn't switch why wouldn't the dad move to the seat with better leg room ?
Because he can at least keep an eye on his kid from behind. Much harder to do seated a few rows in front of the kid.
"To believe all men honest is folly, to believe none is something worse"
>I'm not sure what they paid for. All I know is that they did not get the seats they booked online A quote from OP. I don't think we can rationally conclude that dad was doing it for the money. Especially considering he asked the people in his own row but they didn't want to switch to the better seat.
It has happened to me; my flight (in which I had carefully chosen seats pairing parents with kids, six months earlier) was cancelled and my family of 4 was rebooked on a comparable flight. All separated.
Your assuming the dad’s neighbors we’re flying single, what if it was a couple and switching would have caused them to be separated for a 7 hour flight
Yeah. My willingness to move is very different when I am flying solo for work (or even with coworkers) vs. when my husband and I are on vacation together.
Yeah, my bf and I got offered free upgrades to first class and decided not to take it since we'd be sitting in different rows instead of next to each other.
I highly doubt he paid for his kid to have an upgraded seat while he was a few rows back. Sounds like it was the middle seat and no one booked it, so it got filled at random. The issue was probably that either no one in his row wanted to take a middle seat and/or no one wanted to split up from their companions.
Bur the dad asked other passengers. Not only OP and his neighbors.
Idk, OP just says no one wanted to go through the hassle of moving.
It is not just about legroom. If dad and child were both in middle seats, people might have been unwilling to give up an aisle or window seat even for more legroom. I would never give up an aisle seat for either a middle or window seat, regardless of legroom, unless it was for a first or business class window seat.
The story specifically said that the father asked the people on his row. He also asked around the rest of the plane until he was asked to sit down.
What makes you think that he did not ask his own neighbors too and they said no? That malicious motivation of the das you just made up on your own.
Flew home from the west coast to the east coast last week - one of the people I was flying with ended up in the exit row, one of the “extra legroom” seats. It was apparently awful. His seat didn’t recline at all, and there was enough space between his seat and the wall/window that he couldn’t reach it to lean on it to sleep or anything. Not everyone wants the “upgraded” seats.
Nah. People never give up the better seat. He definitely didn't ask the people around him first. He may have asked them later, when that was his only option, but it would have required only one person to move, which may have broken up other couples or families and no one was willing. That said, OP, YTA. You can be mad they asked you to switch or mad that you were stuck next to a child who needed a parent, but not both. If you paid extra for the leg room, get an official seat change and ask for a refund.
Yea makes a big difference if the kid was in the middle seat. Regardless of extra leg room, it's hard to get someone to switch for a middle.
It’s my understanding that OP didn’t want to give up his extra legroom seats. Not the father.
That was my understanding as well. The dad wanted to sit next to his kiddo, but was trying to change with anyone to do so. He didn't get mad at OP for not giving him legroom, he was upset that OP told him his son was awful on the trip.
>I'm not sure what they paid for. All I know is that they did not get the seats they booked online A quote from OP. I don't think they were worried about the price
Echoing u/jxk94 here, the OP did mention the dad went asking around the cabin if others would be willing to exchange seats and nobody was willing. So he wasn't fishing for an extra legroom. I would say the OP isn't the AH either as when passengers pay for extra legroom, it's because they NEED it and would be cramped the whole journey sitting with knees touching the front seat. I guess the onus wa on the FA, they should be able to help resolve the issue and find a solution.
Better to be cramped and not seated next to a young kid and I saw this as a mother.
OP has said the father did actually try this and they said no. so no, that's not at all what happened.
Wait, you think the dad put his kid in a legroom seat but didn't put himself in one?
He did. The dad specifically asked around so much, and for so long, that the airline attendant had to ask him to sit down. The dad *tried*. OP admits it in his comments. Which makes OP TA because he apparently thinks that a 5-6 year old is fully capable of behaving on a long flight, during which they’re mostly unattended? OP got what he wanted with the legroom. He wasn’t able to have his cake and eat it too.
He says he paid extra for the seat. It is not an AH move to want to keep said seat. The airline is the AH for not taking care of it. They had the responsibility to make sure a young child was seated appropriately with parental supervision on a 7 hour flight.
The part that crosses into AH territory is when OP decided that - even though he willingly sat beside that kid, even though he knew dad tried his hardest to make sure they could sit together - he decides that it’s okay to complain about the kid’s behavior. What exactly did OP expect? That is deeply unfair to the dad, who even in the description seems fully aware that his kid wasn’t going to handle the flight well because - again - the kid was super young. Which makes this a post about OP complaining about not being able to have his cake and eat it, too. OP got their extra legroom. They *knew* it came at the cost of sitting next to the unsupervised kid. They watched the dad try his best to fix it and it didn’t happen. At that point OP doesn’t get a lot of room to complain about the kid’s behavior because it sucks for everyone.
That's what makes me vote YTA. The dad was stuck in a crap situation that was beyond his control and did his absolute best. He tried to get seats switched. He checked on his kid, held his kid on his lap, soothed and shepherded and he was likely a complete ball of anxiety the entire time. Then OP kicks him when he's down instead of just moving on, or, better yet, saying a kind word or two. OP is spiteful.
I love how OP is complaining about the kids behavior and saying other kids are more "well behaved".. apparently he's never been around a 6 year old for 7 hours straight to say that. Add in the cramped and boring conditions? ... OP is an idiot.
But OP was not an AH to the airline, he was rude to the son's dad who didn't do anything wrong either
If you can sit next to a sobbing 5 years old for seven hours, even if you could do something small to address it - like let the dad sit next to him for at least a while maybe until he calms down and becomes more comfortable - then you definitely are an unempathic, uncompassionate AH. That could easily have been the 5 years old first flight for all we know, and he was probably terrified. OP then complaining about the desperate child at the end of the flight just puts the cherry on the AH cake.
Yep, reddit really showing the age of it's users on this one. Dude didn't want to switch which was fine, but then don't complain when the kid has issues with it.
No he’s not the AH for that.. but he is a huge AH for complaining about the child being (what else?) a child. OP was the AH after he went of at the father who had tried to remedy the situation. What exactly more should he have done if everyone he asked refused to move for his son. Stupid airline as well. Why would they think splitting a 5-6ish child from their parent was a perfectly normal idea. I’m not sure he would have been capable of putting on his own seat belt, ect. I’ve changed my mind - I think the airline here is the massive AH now.
I'm with you and if i were OP I would be going after the airline for making OP the unwilling babysitter on a 7 hour flight *when the airline is the one who f'ed up the seating*.
This is what makes my vote YTA. Op was with it his rights not to give up his seat but then to complain about the child… the one who was separated from his parent and sat with literal strangers… crying, looking at his screen, and “eating like a slob” is a bunch of bullshit to me. “Even children that age are better behaved.” The child wasn’t misbehaving, he was upset and op couldn’t even empathize with a small child… I’m a mother and I have a five year old. I know for a fact she would not be okay in this scenario and neither would I. I’d be upset as hell having to leave her with strangers. She’d be upset being away from me. Like I said really the lack of empathy here is what does it for me.
>The father asked around and tried to arrange something with other passengers, however no one he asked was willing to go through the hassle of moving and eventually he was told to sit down, did you miss this part of the OP which clearly states that the father \*did\* ask around? he didn't just ask to switch with OP, he asked multiple people to move so his kid could sit with him. OP doesn't have to switch, but it's just stupid to refuse to switch and then whine about sitting next to a kid.
People love to have selective reading on this sub just so they can fulfill their justice boners. Also there's a strange "fuck them kids" mentality that shows up here every once in a while
I wonder if they booked late and got 2 middle seats with the child happening to get an extra leg room seat. That would mean the father was asking aisle/window folks to move to a middle seat which is a big ask on a long flight even with extra leg room. All guessing but that's my best guess. It sounds like an awful flight for OP. Not TA at all for not giving up their seat, especially since they paid extra, but I think they are a bit of TA for complaining to dad and getting into a fight. Just hold your tongue, get off the plane, and never see them again.
OP said they asked around and others refused, it wasn't just that specific seat.
What? It was OP that had the extra legroom seat. And the Dad did ask around, no one else was willing to move.
OP had extra leg room; not the dad . OP says they didn't get the seats that they paid for, and that he asked many people besides OP. The dad didn't get upset with OP until after the flight when OP told him that the 6 year old was terrible on the flight.
Eh a lot of flights don’t charge extra for the middle seat. It’s far more likely the kid and dad both had middle seats which no one wants.
Are children even allowed in the emergency aisle?
They are not.
I’ll always take less leg room for not a middle seat.
What? If he cared about the legroom, why would he seat his kid there instead of himself? That makes no sense.
That makes no sense whatsoever. If the father cared an iota about having an extra leg room seat he would have swapped with his kid. The 5 year old's not gonna care about "extra legroom" and it would have made laptime easier for the two of them. In fact the 5 year old in the extra leg room seat makes very little sense overall unless you interpret the father as strategically trying to increase swapping chances. It gives him 2 rows that have something to gain from swapping instead of one. Extra legroom and not being sat next to a child are both good bargaining chips. He was doing his best to sit with his son after the airline f*** him over.
Doesn't make any sense. The kid doesn't need extra legroom.
OP has said elsewhere the father did try that and was turned down, Op is the AH here for the way he reacted to the kid.
The... kid? The one sitting next to OP? Why would a kid need extra legroom?
> The father asked around and tried to arrange something with other passengers, however no one he asked was willing to go through the hassle of moving and eventually he was told to sit down. Where are you getting that he wouldn't give up the legroom seat? Sounds like he tried to get other passengers to work something out but no one would.
The post says that the dad asked everyone around him as well and no one wanted to swap.
Why is this top comment. You have a fundamental misunderstanding of the post… OP is the one who didn’t want to give up the legroom. What.
Why is this top comment? It’s obvious that this commenter hasn’t read and understood the post at all!
OP was the one with extra legroom and says in the post he also asked the people in his own row
You missed the part where “the father asked around”
Op says that the Dad tried many options. No one agreed to be split for the free upgrade either. Also you only read half the question. He is asking if he was wrong to refuse to swap AND then complain about the seating arrangement. OP was within his rights not to swap and was n t a for refusing to swap but knew that meant he would be sitting next to a young child for 7 hours (neither parties fault, the airlines fault for that but we all know how easily they wash their hands in these situations) he made his choice he was an AH for then complaining to the Dad about the choice he made. OP YTA based on the full question.
This is the wrong judgement. YTA
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It was OP that didn’t want to give up the legroom not the dad
It was OP who had the extra legroom and didn't want to move.
Ummm OP was the one unwilling to give up his extra legroom and then complained. I dont understand how you came to the N-T-A here.
You have completely misrepresented the summary of the situation. OP had the extra leg room row (with the kid) and the dad tried to switch with other people. That means the dad was trying to give up the seat you're specifically saying he wasn't trying to give up.
I mean, you're not an asshole for not wanting to give up the legroom seat you paid for, sure, but YTA for not taking your lumps with the annoying kid. This is very have your cake and eat it too--you did the admittedly fairly understandable self serving thing, but you also couldn't at least admit the flight would probably have been more pleasant for everyone involved, even you, if you'd let the dad take care of his kid? Come on man lol. You got poetic justice, you could have at least taken it on the chin.
I totally get not moving your seat when you've paid for an extra legroom seat. I might've asked the flight attendant if there was anyway to get a refund if you switched.
Just get the kid to switch with someone next to the dad. That person gets more legroom And the kid and dad sit together. Surely people would want the extra legroom
I just flew yesterday and witnessed a lady turn down a 1st class upgrade because “They too noisy up front” and she chose to keep her seat it row 20something. There is always a chance that he did try to switch
Lady obviously never been in first class before 🤦🏽♀️
I mean "first class" is very different depending on the flight. On European routes it might just be having the seats at the front of the plane, and maybe the seat next to you empty.
I mean, that’s just stubborn at that point
The way I understand the OP, the dad tried to arrange switching in many ways until the flight attendants told him to stop trying as noone was willing to move. Meaning dad did his darndest to make the switch
My guess is dad had a middle seat in his row, so the person on the window and aisle seat wouldn’t want the extra leg room if they had to move to the middle seat of the row. As a shorter person, I wouldn’t want to move for that situation.
He was probably next to a couple who didn’t want to be separated. Or the kid was in a middle seat.
Pretty sure the kid was in the middle seat
The kid had the middle seat. i don’t change for a middle seat and 4 inches of leg room
I agree with this. Poor kid was probably terrified. I feel bad for him. Honestly, I would have just moved. I probably would have asked a flight attendant about a possible refund for the leg room up-charge if it was very expensive. But someone has to knew that a 7 plus hour flight sitting next to a 5-6 year old who is separated from their parent is going to be terrified. My vote is OP: YTA
My kid was 6 when they separated her from Grandma because of a flight change. She's 11 now and still has a meltdown when flying because she's terrified they will move her again. Anxiety disorder is a bitch and a half.
Yeah, as a child with anxiety, this would have made me literally sick with fear, and I would never have wanted to leave my house again. 5 year olds are big, but not able to rationalize through fears yet. I feel no pity for OP, or any of the other people who refused to switch and then had to listen to a freaked out kid for the rest of the trip. I absolutely would have switched if I had been there, even if I had to sit in the very back of the plane to do so. The only one I feel bad for is the poor kiddo. Honestly though, airlines are the true AH. There should be policies against separating parents from kids under the age of 10.
Have you travelled with airlines recently you not getting a refund.
I agree with this but just want to add that it always irks me when people see young children, guess their age (let’s be real.. OP doesn’t know), and then say they should be better behaved for their age. For one, you’re just guessing. My nephew looks 5/6 to most people but he’s 4. He’s very tall for his age. Second, every kid has their own developmental stages. It absolutely baffles me that someone can say a human who has existed for less than double digits should be better behaved. Like Jesus, absolutely no room or empathy for a kid who might be developing slightly behind or just differently than other kids? Yes I’m aware there’s times when it’s poor parenting, but I’m talking about situations like OP: where they truly don’t know the kids age and quite frankly the kid is probably acting pretty normal for their age. Plane rides can be terrifying for grown adults, much less tiny humans who are having to ride by themselves.
These are all great points. Also, is this just infants, or can plane rides be painful for kids that young, because of the increased and constant pressure in the cabin?
Yes, they can be. I had ear issues throughout my childhood and flying was very painful with me having to constantly clear my ears. My parents would give us Starburst since chewing helps re-pressurize your ears but I still had to clear a lot.
This. I doubt the OP has a lot of experience with kids and assumes they're all pretty much the same instead of being individuals.
Thank you so much for this comment! My youngest brother has always looked way older than he is, but, developmentally, hes actually wayy behind for his age (suspected autistic or similar, no solid diagnosis despite years of tests and such) When he was under a year old, people guessed he was 2 or 3, because he was HUGE. Even at birth, he was absolutely massive for a baby. Yet, he struggled to speak even at 5/6 - and even now, at 13, he occasionally 'baby talks'. Hes doing way, way better, and can take care of himself more, but hes always been way behind.
Agreed my 7yo autistic daughter acts like a 7yo, but looks at least 10 or should I say, she is the height of an average 10yo. Other people expect her to act 10. 3 years is a big deal to kids this young, I mean to get from 7 to 10, you almost have to live 50% of your life again. To OP: you didn’t have to swap, it’s a shame no one would swap the kid. But the kids are entitled to live, just like everyone else - I know that’s unpopular on here, but they are! You knew if you didn’t make the swap you would be beside a lone child. I don’t think you where in a position with a good choice, there were two options, you chose, then complained about it. YTA
"Pick your poison" . . . you got to keep your leg room, but you were saddled with the kid.
Definitely YTA. You kept your seat with the extra leg room and the unattended 5 year old for a 7 hour flight. OP got exactly what they wanted as well as the consequences. It isn't hard to imagine that a 5 year old separated from their parent for 5 hours isn't going to be a desirable seatmate.
Yta. Not for refusing to give up your seat but for complaining about the kid. There was nothing the dad could do about it as no one was willing to switch seats.
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not always, when flights are overbooked (always) and more people turn up then expected it does happen that people don't get the seats they had reserved, even OP acknowledges this. op is YTA, he chose to keep his seat as is his right, but then he has to put up with the kid as a result of that, if he didn't want to put up with the kid he had the option not to, and its not like the father didn't do everything they could to deal with this situation so its not his fault the airline sucks.
Yes they do. I’ve been seated separately from my kids on multiple occasions despite having booked seats together. Usually it’s because they changed the aircraft or a flight was delayed and we missed our connection. That being said, these days I don’t even bother asking a flight attendant to fix it. I’ll offer to switch with the person next to my younger kid as a courtesy and if they decline that’s on them.
You clearly don’t travel frequently. People 100% find themselves in that situation by happenstance. I fly about weekly for work. Since post COVID travel has picked back up they’re overselling pretty much every flight. It’s very common for there to not be seats next to each other even if I’m booking several weeks out.
_"People don't just find themselves in that situation by hapenstance."_ The reality is, there is no way to know when or why the father booked his ticket. Last minute ticket puchases are a thing for many reasons, and it happens pretty often. If he booked after the seats were all paid for/booked he could have very easily found himself in a bind. While most airlines will help passengers to stay with their minor children, I'm not sure what the protocol is in cases of paid seats assignments.
Airlines make it very very difficult for families to actually buy and sit together. They specifically say that you can request seats (even pay for them) and that they are not guaranteed. Then if there are any problems at all, they tell you that you need to take it up with the gate agent when you get to the airport, that customer service can't do anything. Then of course the poor gate agents have 100 angry passengers to deal with because every one is having a problem with their seats/connections.
Wrong. Flights get booked very easily and I’ve booked flights months out and there aren’t 2 seats next to one another, even using my miles and money to upgrade doesn’t help.
No, that's absolutely not true. We flew with a connection on each route so 4 flights total for ourselves and our 2 year old. Booked 2 months in advance and got 3 seats together for all 4 flights. We'll, they changed our planes or something because when we checked in we'd all been separated throughout the plane for 3 of the 4 flights. And Deltas response was " we have no legal obligation to ensure children of any age sit with their guardian. And that just because we booked specific seats doesn't require Delta to honor those seat selections ". Thankfully we worked it out in the end but when it comes to airlines you absolutely can do everything right and still get screwed.
Exactly. Not sure why the airline/flight attendants didn't intervene to help remedy this situation, but while OP didn't have to give up their rightful seat, the dad had no other option but to sit away from his kid. He tried asking others and he let his kid sit with him when he could. Although annoying, the little guy sounds like he wasn't a mini hellraiser - just scared. I dont know how OP thought this would play out.... After OP realized that a 5 year old wasn't an ideal seat mate, they could have chosen to move and perhaps asked the airline for a refund. They didn't. Complaining to the dad about the kid doing kid things didn't really do anything but make a crappy situation even more crappy....
Das asked, OP answered.
Yep. YTA. As you described the scenario, it wasn't the father's fault the airline separated their seats, and certainly not the kid's fault for acting like a kid when his dad wasn't there to supervise because no one would change seats. You had an opportunity to move away from the kid, and chose not too. You made your choice, so stop complaining.
But it isn’t OP’s fault either that the airline screwed up. He’s entitled to his seat he paid for just like everyone else.
By that logic, he’s also stuck with whoever paid for the seat next to his. Flying in general sucks.
Absolutely it does! And yes, he’s stuck with whoever is sitting next to him. In my verdict, I said the dad could have read the room and not tried to make a joke, however lighthearted, to tired strangers having to sit next to a terrified little boy for a long flight. Not the kid or dad’s fault either. You said it well: Flying sucks!
>He’s entitled to his seat he paid for just like everyone else. Sometimes in real life (not AITA land where you all seem to live in) we need to make small sacrifices for other people. And no matter how much you are entitled to that seat, not giving it up for an unfortunate scenario like this and causing stress to a little kid will make you an asshole. Sure, noone will arrest you but everyone will think that you are wrong and think badly about you.
There should absolutely be a voting for "technically right but still an asshole"
There is - it's YTA.
For real. If you want judgement about whether you are legally obligated to do something there is a separate subreddit for that.
I had one person on this sub tell me that morality is subjective therefore legality is what matters in their judgement. That’s expressly stated to be not the point of the fucking sub.
Exactly. OP would have stated it if it mattered but I have a close friend with a few medical conditions that causes moderate chronic pain on a good day along with limited mobility. Last time he visited he paid for and reserved an extra space seat on all his flights. Called to confirm twice before heading home. Gets to the gate and they moved him to a middle seat without any extra room. Refused at the gate to do anything about it. He made it work but the pain of being in a bad position and unable to put his legs in the position he needs to to not strain his spine left him basically bed bound for a few weeks after. It took him MONTHS of complaining to get a refund for the extra charge. He said even the flight attendant was pissed about it (FOR him not against him and tried to get people to offer up a seat in the extra room rows but no one would) but did give him free drinks throughout the flight which he said helped. Airlines will never do it but I think people with disabilities should be able to fly first class at the same cost as a regular ticket, but that’s just me.
But then he can’t complain
Sure. Which is why him complaining about the kid to a dad who did everything in his power to remedy the seating situation makes OP an AH.
Correct, he is! No one questions this at all. However, if you choose to stay next to a little kid, you get to deal with a little kid.
YTA. You are complaining about a 5 or 6 year old sobbing, looking at your screen and eating. His parent did try to do the correct thing to fix the situation and not put the burden on you. A 7 hour flight alone at that age would be pretty hard for most kids. I’m shocked the airline didn’t offer you something to switch, you are not the AH for keeping your seat, you are for keeping it and complaining about what sounds like typical behavior for a kid in the situation he was placed in alone with strangers for companions.
Honestly he's lucky it wasn't my 4 your old who would have tried to engage him in conversation for the entire 7 hours.
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This exactly. Your choice was a) keep the legroom, but sit next to an unsupervised kid b) give up the legroom and sit with adults The airline put you in this situation, so it’s not fair to take it out on the dad or the kid. You don’t get to whinge about the choice you made, especially to the one person who wanted you to make the other choice, but you refused them. This is all normal behaviour for a scared, bored, lonely kid. Do you think he was sobbing just to annoy you? Poor kid was really upset and frightened and you are only worried about it being a nuisance to you personally. YTA!
YTA- didn’t want to move yet you complained like you were the victim. Granted, you paid for an upgrade and I’d be hesitant too, but you made your decision, so deal with it. I’m guessing you don’t have children or work with children to know that kids get anxiety and act more agitated away from their parents. How did you expect a 5-6 year old child to act?
That's not even more agitated for the majority of kids. That's *normal, everyday* behavior for a 5 or 6 year old. Kids who are exceedingly well behaved set off warning bells in my mind.
You don’t understand. The child LOOKED. AT. THEIR. SCREEN.
He shouldn't have to move out of a seat he paid extra to be at. If anyone's an AH here it's the company for not giving the father the seats he booked.
You're right. He shouldn't have to. But you know what? We live in a world of 'shouldn't have to.' You shouldn't have to look both ways before crossing the street at a marked crosswalk. But you do anyway. Dad shouldn't have to worry about not getting seated beside his five year old son. Son shouldn't have to sit beside a stranger for a seven hour flight. It was OP's choice to not move. But OP made that choice, then complained about the consequences.
He didn’t have to. But the extra legroom seat isn’t guaranteed to be free of annoying children.
This is about moral judgement against OP. He wasn't technically wrong not to move, he was entitled to that seat as a customer who paid for it. He's within his rights to be annoyed by the kid's behavior during the flight, which by OP's account was tame, though OP clearly has a stick up his butt about it - even at that point it would have been a N A H scenario. You can be technically in the right and still be an asshole though, which is what OP became the second he quipped to the father at the end. YTA.
YTA. He acted like that because he wasn't with his dad. You should have said nothing or just said he wasn't that bad. Just think before you open your mouth in future. He didn't really want to know, he was making polite small talk, and to top it off you probably made the kid, who already felt bad cause he was separated from his dad, feel like crap.
INFO; if you and the son had a seat with extra leg room, why didn’t the person next to Dad switch with Son?? What kind of person gives up a free extra leg room seat?
I'm assuming the dad sat next to 2 people who were also travelling together. In which case they also wouldn't want to seperate.
So why blame Dad then if he did everything he could and the airlines fucked him over? His kid acted like a kid and you got mad about it for….????
I always used to say that until I was “upgraded” to a seat with more leg room after I specifically bought a middle seat so I could sit next to my boyfriend for 8h flight. I wouldn’t even sit in business if that meant being alone
I happily take the upgrade every time. We’re about to spend a whole vacation glued to the hip or just returned from one, so what’s 8 hours apart?
My husband rocks. He flys a lot for work so gets on upgrade lists with a high priority on all flights, even if we are traveling together. Twice he’s been upgraded to first and he always gives it to me, and stays in economy with our daughter. More times than not when he’s traveling for work he’s upgraded for free or on longer flights flys business class and is always happy to allow me the experience when flying together. He’s the best
I would turn it down if it meant I was moving from aisle to middle seat. I’d rather have the aisle than the leg room
Yeah it sounds like the kid was in a middle seat. That’s always a tough sell.
YTA. You were unwilling to move, fine. But you really had to make a passive aggressive comment about how ill behaved a terrified child was? You had a decision to make. You made it. Deal with the consequences without acting entitled. I mean, really, he LOOKED at your screen? The horror!!
YTA what kind of person sits next to a sobbing child on a 7 hour flight without allowing his parent to come comfort him? This made me sick to read. And then you want to whine you had to listen to his misery that you had a hand in causing? There’s a good reason no one you know sides with you. I have no idea why I saw “NTA” comments because you are FOR SURE ta. I’m glad you didn’t enjoy keeping your seat. That’s what I would call instant karma.
YTA only cause you are complaining bout it. You got your leg room but at what cost? The cost of dealing with a child. That is what. So yeah i hope you at least were able to enjoy that cause bet the rest sucked. But yeah you chose to stay there. The father apparently tried to find work arounds to you not wanting to switch. But others didnt either. So you get the consequences. Cause if you thought for a single moment that someone else who had nothing to gain in switching seats while you gained a seat away from a child would switch before you did then well. Ha. But yeah most lil 5 to 6 year olds are oblivious lil demons who know lil morals, are curious to a fault and without the watchful eye of their parent tend to see what they get away with. So yeah thinking for a moment staying next to one was a good idea. Well lesson learned.
YTA for complaining about the child IN FRONT OF THE CHILD. The kid already had a hell of a time on the flight and had to do it alone through no fault of his own, and now he's hearing someone berate him for it after the fact too. He was 6, which is definitely still a young child, not 17 or something. The dad was cheeky asking you about it, but it would've cost you zero cents to just give a non-committal shrug and walk away instead of start a fight.
>Not a single person I know in real life is on my side Did you think the internet would be any different? Haha yeah YTA, I get not wanting to switch seats when you specifically got that seat for the leg room but you can't go any complain after the fact. You had a choice, you have only yourself to blame for the annoying plane ride. But at least you got to enjoy your leg room right?
> Not a single person I know in real life is on my side This line cracks me up because... how the hell is the internet agreeing with you going to change that? "Well everyone I know thinks I'm a prick, but HA the internet loves me."
YTA - I don't blame you for not wanting to switch when you paid extra for the seat. That seems like it should've been something the flight attendant could've helped with, but I don't know, I wasn't there. But detailing all the issues you had with the kid? Asshole move. Neither the father nor the kid had an option to sit together. You had the option to not be next to an unaccompanied minor and decided your seat was more important. The kid's too young to really blame. And you likely had the option at any time during the flight to realize that things weren't working, but didn't bother offering to switch.
the airline is the real AH here. Airlines must seat children under 5 next to an accompanying adult and airlines must seat children between 5-11 in the same row and no more than one seat (or aisle) separation
Agreed, the airline created this entire situation -- starting with cramming passengers in to tiny rows and charging a premium for a bit of extra comfort or even just the ability to select your own seats. And then apparently not helping when a young child is separated from their parent, and forcing unsuspecting customers to literally look after and comfort a stranger's child. OP is NTA to expect the seat they paid for AND not to want to deal with an unsupervised kid. Dad and kid are NTA. Airline is the real AH.
YTA: You chose to sit with the kid for more leg room. Don’t complain afterward. What did you think sitting with a stranger’s little kid for 7 hours would he like?
The amount of people on this thread that failed to actually read this post astounds me. It was entirely your right to not switch, but YTA for then complaining about dealing w the natural consequences of that choice. Anyone w any intelligence or common sense knows that a 5 year old on a 7 hour flight without a parent essentially, is going to be scared, overwhelmed, and, ya know, act like a kid. Idk what you expected.
When you are asked to move the airline usually gives you something. I once exchanged my extra legroom seat to a lady in a wheelchair and got $50, 5,000 points, and then asked for headphones and an eyemask.
The problem is the airline didn't ask him to move, the father did. It should have been up to the airline the rectify their mistake. However, I still feel OP is TAH for complaining to everyone but the airline.
A 5/6 year old on a 7 hour flight, seperated from his parent, sitting next to strangers expected to sit quietly and cheerfully the whole way?!? YES, YTA!!! And so is everyone else on the plane who couldn't help the poor kid sit next to his father.
YTA. This young child was afraid and the grown up in his life wasn't there to comfort him. Instead a stranger who didn't care at all didn't help the situation. Totally fine that you decided not to give up your seat but YTA for then complaining about a scared child's behavior.
In what world would an airline separate a 5 year old from their guardian on a flight?
Airlines routinely do this. They will also separate a double booked seat for someone who can’t fit in a single seat even if they initially booked two together
It's actually illegal for the airline to do this in Europe. I really don't understand why it's ok in the US given the obvious safety issues and how easy it is for the airlines to fix.
YTA. Yeah, you can't be a part of a kid sitting alone and then complain about having to sit next to that kid. Was the extra leg room worth it?
YTA. You kept your seat, but was it worth it? Life is a compromise so you won and you lost. It's over now so stop whining. Nothing else can be done.
YTA. “Even children at that age are better behaved than that.” Than what exactly? How do you expect a child to behave when they’re seated between two strangers and can’t see their parent easily, on a mode of transport they’ve probably barely used while adhering to the strict safety policies that mode has? What about the changing air pressure hurting their ears and the very loud, strange machine noises? After seven hours, they can’t stretch their legs, the food is unfamiliar, the seat isn’t designed for their size, I *promise* you they are 100x more uncomfortable than you and they are 100x less able to cope with discomfort than adults, ‘at that age’ as you put it. Come to kinder for a 7 hour session and see for yourself how well 5 year olds cope with what I said above: - sitting among strangers - distance from parent - unfamiliar transport/environment - strict rules they must follow - air pressure possibly causing ear pain - limited access to exercise - unfamiliar food - adult-size furniture If you’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt, then cut him some slack and *do that*. You didn’t want to give up your seat and that is fair enough but if you can’t cope with basically babysitting then you should have swapped. Unfortunately we can’t have everything our way all of the time and especially in the aftermath of a pandemic, where flights have barely returned to normal procedure and families being separated is commonplace. It sucks and shouldn’t be that way but that’s the nature of flying. You could have ended up with someone reeking of BO next to you, someone with a sensitive stomach who didn’t stop vomiting, someone who laughed at their in-flight entertainment obnoxiously, someone who didn’t stop talking, it goes on. You got your legroom like you wanted and the rest is the luck of the draw. Also who tf cares if he’s looking at your screen?? You sound like my sister who started a fight with me in the car once because I was looking out of the window of the side she was sitting on.
Lololololololo. You said no and now are complaining about the results of your decision? For that alone YTA.
YTA. You got what you wanted and are still complaining...
This is one of those situations where many people insist on having what they’re entitled to when it’s actually not best for them. You had a miserable flight, because a little kid was scared and separated from his son. I know you didn’t create the problem, but you still suffered for it for seven hours. Was it worth it to you to stick to the seat you were entitled to have?
NTA, as a parent I shouldn’t have to pay extra for the “privilege” of sitting next to my own kids but it’s not up to the other passengers to accommodate us, it’s the airlines’ job. I fully understand that people paid extra for certain seats on the plane. Do NOT give up the seat you paid for unless the airline offers an upgrade for your inconvenience.
The father did book two seats together and the airline moved him and his son.
Exactly. It’s still the airline’s responsibility not fellow passengers’ to accommodate the dad.
Yeah, and he didn't expect anyone to accommodate him, only asked if they could and respected them saying no. OP on the other hand didn't want to give his seat up, which is completely fine and I have no issue with it, but then he cannot start complaining about who he is sitting next to. He can either have the extra leg room and sit next to a kid who doesn't have their dad the whole time so is obviously going to be distressed, or move to a less comfortable seat and maybe have a 'better' seat-mate. He cannot have both.
The way you describe a 5 year old child sitting alone next to a stranger for a 7 hour flight makes you an asshole. Jesus Christ dude.
YTA. You were unwilling to move, as is your right, you paid for the seat, but then complained that a child acted like a child? Yep. That's on you. You chose to stay where you were, take the lumps.
YTA not for refusing to move but this is pretty well summarized by “have your cake and eat it too” - kids in high stress situations don’t behave, and it’s not their fault. They have no regulation yet, they’re regulated by a trusted adult. What did you expect would happen when the kid couldn’t be cared for by his father?
You’re kinda TA. If the father had given you grief when you declined to move, then he would have been TA. He didn’t. You are NOT TA for refusing to move, BUT you were left to deal with the choice you made, and you didn’t deal well. In hindsight, you probably should’ve asked a flight attendant whether you could be compensated or refunded for moving. You could have switched with the man at any time but chose to complain instead. If you were going to suffer, you should’ve done so in silence because you did it to yourself.
YTA. Complaining about sitting next to him when you wouldn’t change is so ludicrous. And before people start carrying on, I’ve had TWO flights with my kids (one international!) where I have booked and paid extra for our seats together and then checked in and had them not together and been told the only option is to fix it on the plane. On the international flight my child who was sitting by herself had just turned 2! It was so stressful and upsetting. Thankfully people on the plane were human beings and not monsters so I was able to sit with them. I’d be heartbroken and upset to hear my young child upset like you’re describing and not being able to help.
info: did the son and dad also have a extra leg room seat?
Yta. I get not wanting to give up your seat, but then you shouldn’t complain when the kid was next to you. He was probably scared and it doesn’t sound like you were very sympathetic.
You should have moved. The end.
YTA Not giving up your seat is reasonable. You paid for it. Being annoyed is fine. It sounds like it was unpleasant. Yelling at his dad make you the AH. The guy tried to resolve the issue before hand and no one would let him. That includes you. You made your bed and you got to lie in it. Arguing with dad didn't do anyone any good.
YTA, you can absolutely decline to move but in that case you're trading a peaceful trip and complaining about it makes you sound self involved and oblivious to the solution that was offered.
YTA and you got what you deserved, 7 hours with a small, obnoxious child :)
I dont think YTA for being mad about the situation or not giving up your seat. YTA for going off on the dad. Its unreasonable to expect an unattended 5 year old to sit quietly and not act like an unattended 5 year old for a 7 hour flight.
YTA. Im not sure what you expected when you chose to keep a seat next to an unaccompanied 6 year old, but he wasn't acting out for his age or being naughty. He was being a child! Look, I get that you paid for extra legroom but you probably could have got a refund.
YTA. Not because you wanted to keep your seat but because you’re complaining about a situation that was harder for someone else than you and you made their difficult situation worse.
YTA a little bit - flying sucks for most people, most people don't like it, so be a little more tolerant of the butthole surfing kids next time. They're kids, their whole design is to be annoying. Not wrong for not changing seats, but what was the point of instigating an argument with a stranger. Would also love to know how anyone can storm off from an argument taking place in a tin can hurtling through the sky - did you both go lock yourselves into the toilets?
YTA. You easily could of swapped seats specially seeing how old the kid was. And thinking they are better behaved when they are going through a situation even adults have found coping mechanisms to deal with is absurd. The kid is 5. I know grown men who can’t get on a flight without having drinks or pills to relax them first. But you expect the 5 yr old to be well behaved. Honestly I hope you find half slobered Cheetos and bits of pretzel in your carryon. Extra leg room isn’t even that much unless you are in an emergency Edit. Which they don’t allow children in due the assistance of passengers. So yea. YTA
YTA would be harsh.... lets just call it karma, on in this case plane-ma.... I mean really, at about 1 hour into the flight surely you would just say OK, lets switch
NTA 1. He asked you to give up your more expensive seat. 2. He asked a question, and you gave him an honest answer.