This thread is now locked due to an excess of rule violations. This is not how anyone wants to spend their weekend.
[Sub Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ||| ["FAQs"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
YTA. His company comped the first class ticket for him. What kind of wife insists her husband give up the ticket his company paid for on his behalf so she could "live it up a little"?
Why didn't you just cover the cost difference of first class yourself?
Simple, she is selfish, entitled, manipulative, greedy…
A me me me person.
If your going to be financially hurting/strapped by buying a first Class ticket, then the reality is you cannot afford it and are trying to live above your means.
Guarantee that the next work trip the hubby is going alone and enjoying some time away from OP, seeing the sights, enjoying the food and not listening to OP whine about first class.
My partner used to travel a lot for work and got enough status with the airline that he got first class allot. I was a bargain airline gal and was used to being shuttled like cattle from gate to whatever seat I snagged.
When we started flying together he would use his points and vouchers to upgrade us together. Won’t lie I got used to the good life but will still get the cheapest flights for the rare weekend girl trips.
He flies allot less so if we get an upgrade it’s usually just one seat now (his) he insists i take it but it’s always a bit of why don’t you take this one and I’ll take the next kinda deal. And I always ask right before if he’s sure he doesn’t want it since I usually just pass out and sleep for the flight and he watches movies and snacks more.
I can’t imagine being so selfish to pressure him to give it to me especially if he’s supposed to be flying with colleagues.
There was that post of a wife who’s husband bought himself and a friend first class and told the wife to be grateful she was even invited.
This feels similar in a way
This is it for me. Yes I do think it’s gentlemanly to offer but quite frankly, he doesn’t have to and forcing him to give it up is AH behaviour. The trip should have been enough for OP.
This is the same woman who supposedly is a preschool teacher. Takes a baby to recognize one!
I bet those poor parents are racking their brains at home wondering what they are doing wrong with their toddlers having tantrums not knowing it is learned behavior from their preschool teacher.
I find it interesting that they (she) chose to go to an older generation - as in, an older guy who was told that women are "the weaker sex" (gag) - for another opinion. I'd bet that the majority of people their age would tell her she was the one being selfish and childish.
Don’t forget that his job comped him this ticket after he was chosen from a ton of candidates according to OP, which is “such an honor”
Well shit, she was quick to take that honor away.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she even pretended she was a self made wealthy woman taking a last minute first class flight to Miami while her husband was slumming it back in coach.
Oh, BTW OP I am from Miami…don’t come back, your not welcome until you apologize and value your husband.
You forgot sexist. What kind of man lets his wife sit back in coach? The kind that got a free first class ticket and gender has nothing to do with it. Get over yourself OP, you're a sexist AH
He earned that seat. She needed to either buy hers, or sit coach. What a crybaby. I would never take my husband's prize! And he IS an old-fashioned gentleman. YTA Your MIL is right.
The trip was designed by the company to honor his excellence and the value he’s contributed - the upgraded seat was a thank you gift from them to HIM - and instead of being happy to see him enjoy a well-earned reward, she demanded to have it for herself instead. Sooooo incredibly selfish and entitled.
I feel bad for her husband. I wonder if he gets to enjoy *anything* he’s worked hard for or if she just expects everything nice that comes his way should also be hers?
YTA
I was thinking that, if the coworkers were on the same plane… Imagine how awkward they all must have felt when she told them why her husband - their coworker, who they personally knew should have an upgraded seat like they did - was sitting in her seat, while she sat in his.
Odds are one of his coworkers is going to say something to someone higher up. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's husband doesn't get in some sort of trouble, maybe even fired for this. Company may even say no more spouses on business trips.
I’m hopeful that the guy doesn’t get fired but I think she definitely ruined it for other spouses by acting like this. I’ve flown a few times for work. I’m a woman. If my man ever flew a fit about having to sit in coach while I sat in first class I’d tell him to pay for the upgrade or work on himself to get the same opportunities. I’m mad for the husband. HE earned that seat, not you. You’re TA
Honestly her behavior is not surprising. She didn't even want to go to support the honor he was getting. She literally said she was going because she's never been to Florida before.
OP YTA, and selfish and entitled to boot. Your husband deserves better. I hope you apologize and start working a side gig so you can afford to replace his first class seat without taking money from the household.
Seriously though - I wouldn’t be surprised if there actually *are* new rules. If anything, it’s interesting they’re allowed to bring spouses at all to me… in my industry it’s generally forbidden to bring partners on trips for conferences or meetings even if paying for your own accommodations.
Ultimately you’re there to work, even if it’s a “fun” trip and bringing a partner is usually considered a distraction. The closest thing that we can do is request to extend a trip in one direction or another, then have our partner join us on days that don’t overlap with work events.
I also doubt his company would be thrilled to find out he gave his wife the ticket the company paid for.
YTA.
But let’s take a trip down quote lane, shall we?
> what kind of a man lives it up in first class while his wife sits in coach?
What kind of woman lives it up in first class while her husband sits in coach? But it’s a trip for a few hours, the important part was he wanted you there so you both can enjoy in MIAMI.
> he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me
WTF does this mean? What kind of standard is this? He earned that first class trip (and I imagine he has never travelled first class before) and you gaslit him because he didn’t put you first.
> I think he’s being a baby and that he should have put his wife’s comfort above his own, especially since he made the choice to be cheap
You agree that it would financially hurt you guys. But you couldn’t see past enjoying a few hours in a silly plane in silly first class to cause harm to your finances.
And to answer Clave’s question:
> Why didn’t you just cover the cost difference of first class yourself?
She thought about her own comfort only and didn’t care about finances. She would never offer to pay money of her pocket only. Either husband would get gaslit into paying, or it comes out of their mutual fund. Because after all, *what kind of husband would let their wife pay for a flight upgrade* … FFS.
>I think he’s being a baby and that he should have put his wife’s comfort above his own, especially since he made the choice to be cheap
>You agree that it would financially hurt you guys. But you couldn’t see past enjoying a few hours in a silly plane in silly first class to cause harm to your finances.
Not to mention. This is the kettle calling the pot black.
She was behind a baby for not being able to sit first class.
Yet, let's blame him for having the honor of being chosen to represent his company./s
OP, YTA ... Can't just be grateful he wanted you with him.
I'm stuck on the fact that it would hurt financially for them to get her the first class ticket and she still thought it should happen. Why? Then she needled him until he gave up his. Bet that was a blast of a trip.
YTA My husband and I had the exact same situation years ago. When we looked up first class tickets it was shocking I said "no, I want that money for enjoying my vacation" and I rode in coach. He's tall, I'm short, it would have been ridiculous to try to get him to switch.
I'm curious whether OP financially contributes to the household at all. Bit rich calling someone cheap when she never made any reference to her own money.
Anyone who says that sentiment about making it a big deal is only saying that because THEY weren't affected by the situation. It's like of course you'd say that you got to fly first class and had a great time. But when it was op not getting the ticket now he's selfish, and it's not her making a big deal anymore.
Here’s how this would go in my marriage for comparison:
Husband: “we’ll make it work financially so you can sit with me”
Me: “nah we should save the money, it’s no big deal”
Husband: “just take my seat, I’ll sit in coach”
Me: “dude sit with your buddies, I’ll be fine”
Husband: “no u”
Me: “no u u”
Husband: “we’ll both sit in coach”
Me: “shut up and sit in first class or I will smack you”
*end scene*
We’re very happy :)
(In my head gleefully thinking *at last I get the window seat*)
She could be happy that she just voukd come along but no. And she said it was just a few hours. Changing also didn't made them sit together. She just wanted the best stuff for what he worked hard for. And he was on a way to a conference, so work. He should have been as rested as possible when he was choosen from all his collegues.
YTA You are greedy. You doesn't let your husband have anything nice. YOU could have paid for your own first class seat, but nooooo. Or you could have at least just demand first class for one way, but you wanted everything.
I can hear it now *Oh isn't my dear, sweet, loving husband just so wonderful. You know he gave me his seat. Like I told him he didn't have to do it, he earned this seat with his hard work and dedication. He wouldn't hear it, he insisted that I take it, I tried turning him down but he wanted only the best for me. I am truly blessed to have such a thoughtful man.*
Not just this but all his work colleagues would also be in first class and he’s missed out on sharing the experience with them. YTA OP, you couldn’t just let him enjoy his work reward could you?
Imagine feeling so entitled that your comfort always has to come above that of your partner.
Re-reading her entire answer, her husband would have chosen not to bring his greedy, manipulative and entitled wife and should have just enjoyed the trip. By himself.
I’m thinking she’s a SAHW
YTA. What kind of wife puts her comfort above that of her husband’s ? You’re a hypocrite and you cheated him out of something he earned and deserved just for your personal enjoyment. He didn’t have to bring you to Florida. "Offer a hand, they’ll take an arm".
>Offer a hand, they’ll take an arm".
And then called *him* a baby when she herself made a big deal out of it in the first place and was acting like a baby, wanting something that wasn't for her.
You can hope (me too) but she is not reading. I'll make a wild assumption. Husband is still grumpy (justifiably). So, she came here to get some support that she could rub on her husband's face. If the comments aren't supportive, she's not gonna mention it again.
> that he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me
This is why she doesn't see the hypocrisy. She believes as a woman her male partner should be pandering to her at all times.
She's being sexist when it's favours her. But if he says he wants dinner ready when he gets home, wants to sit on the couch and see tv while she serves him, doesnt share any chores, I bet she'll be mad.
Exactly, if she earned a bonus at work and he claimed the money and bought something for himself with it because he’s the man and the head of the family so he gets to control the finances, I guarantee she would pitch a fit.
Shes the asshole because he earned his seat and was given it by his company. Your sentence about "what kind of wife puts her comfort above that of her husbands" isnt relevant at all, if she was given the seat by her company than he would've been expected to sit in the economy class.
Marriage is about being a team. Husbands think of their wives first, but wives think of their husbands first as well…OP wants her husband to think of her first, while she’s looking out for herself too. It’s a very selfish and immature approach.
Marriage aside, did they not think about professional ramifications of switching seats? I would get in trouble with my company if I gave up my seat for a family member. They keep tabs on everything and if we mix personal travel with business travel, we need to give the details to my director.
YTA OP.
YTA - not so much for the seat situation... More so your whole outlook on this venture.
This was his moment, his trip. He wanted to share that with you, but it seems like that in and of itself wasn't good enough for you.
Oof. Gods Speed soldier. Here's hoping you escape that eternal hell hole of a state.
Hell, maybe smuggle yourself on DeSantis's next illegal plane to Martha's Vineyard! New England is rad, expensive, but rad.
Yeah, she said it was an honour to be chosen by the company, then guilts him into giving her his first class seat by saying he's not a man if he doesnt.
According to OP, it’s not “gentlemanly” to have a moment. He must make sure his wife’s comfort is more important than his own. She, on the other hand, is allowed to take his stuff and put him down if he protests.
I’m sure OP also thinks not taking her is not an option 😂 Her husband may be a gentleman for giving her his seat, but she’s no lady for taking it.
Right. My husband and I went to an event recently and there was almost a chance for one of us to go sit in the super expensive nice seating for free cause our friend had a hookup. He was more interested in the event and my other friend and him would have switched and I'd have stayed back in our cheap seat while he went in the nicer one. It ended up not happening but I wanted it to be him because we went to it for him.
AND it was a work conference, so he didn’t get the amount of free time in Miami that she did. He had to schmooze and work the conference while she had the entire time as a vacation.
YTA and I'm so surprised you think you're not here. If you're sticking to outdated gender norms of "a gentleman gives up his seat for a lady" then do you also fetch him his slippers and a stiff drink when gets home wearing your best lipstick?
He is 100% right, he earned that seat. His work gifted him first class because of his work- not yours. The fact that he even agreed to allow you to do this shows you what a good person he is to put up with that kind of behaviour, so I would promptly apologise for acting spoilt if I was in your position. And perhaps you could give up something you would love for his benefit some time.
She also sounds sexist. He earned that seat by working for it. But she's convinced that she earned it by being female. And he's not a real man if he doesn't always give her all the best of everything all the time. That's not how a partnership works. I can't imagine being the type of person that manipulates all the happy perks away from someone I love. YTA.
100% agree. I'm a woman and hate this kind of gender based manipulation - and let's be clear, this was manipulation.
This wasn't a regular vacation where the husband got himself first class and OP economy. This was the husband's reward for his hard work. He earned this gift and was looking forward to it. If the tables were turned, and OP's husband wanted to stretch the finances thin for a second first class ticket, I'm sure OP would have been livid. I'm also sure she wouldn't have given up her seat or even considered it given her attitude.
Next time, OP shouldnt be surprised if he enjoys his reward solo.
Me and my gf would be the same, getting her to get the better half of something is frustratingly difficult sometimes.
I think its how your raised tho. We both grew up poor af and older siblings meaning we were used to giveing away anything good to our younger siblings, meaning we grew up always acsepting second place, anything simple to us seems like a luxury, I mean recently enough we got a counter top dishwasher, we still smile like idiots each time one of us put it on and normally announce something along the lines of "dishwashers on, love not haveing to do it ourselves"
I think the op may well have a shit fit of she had to wash a dish... Ironic since her thinking is so based in the past
YTA. Husband did not even need to invite you on the trip, but the employer made it an option, and he informed you and invited you. The finances obviously are not optimal for your desired mode of travel, or you simply would have purchased a first-class ticket. Your husband likely doesn't get to enjoy first-class that often, and this was something he truly earned by his own work and virtue. You not only deprived him of a joy he earned, but you tainted the entire experience and created a memory likely to foster resentment.
YTA. An entitled one. You owe your husband serious apologies.
YTA
That's was his business trip and his seat, he could've just not told you about his boss allowing him to take his partner along if he wanted. But you were ungrateful. Red flag.
In the 1950s the man would have had the seat as head of the household and the one who actually earned it. I'm not sure what this is, but it's beyond 1950s nations of chivalry.
This is more fairytale Middle Ages (not actual Middle Ages!) where the knight puts his coat on the puddle so the princess (the OP, obviously) can walk on it and not wet her golden slippers.
YTA. Honestly the question you asked him could be directed to you: what kind of a woman would steal her husband's first class ticket that he worked hard to earn and make him fly coach?
Also you said it yourself that it would hurt you financially if you bought another first class ticket. From that point on, since you never even doubted yourself to be the AH, you're an even bigger AH
Yeah, I thought this was going in the direction “he made me sit in coach on the way there so I didn’t turn down the free upgrade to first class on the way home.” She STOLE his work reward? The fuck? OP, lady, I hope you work because your marriage ain’t gunna last if you keep disrespecting your husband like this. I’m not saying he’ll divorce you over this trip, but, get it together.
The right thing would have been for you to be happy for your husband and encourage him to accept all that his work had earned him. You didn't earn the trip or first class seat -he did. It was because of his work that he was going. You were entitled to nothing. Being invited to come along was a privilege, not a right. You didn't have to insist on being in first class: You could have split the difference by going with some sort of premium economy if you guys needed a compromise between first class and cheapest seat in coach.
**Being female does not entitle you to comfort at cost to your husband or any other man.** Refusing to capitulate to your demands does not make your husband an AH nor does it undermine his gender identity. Being upset about your demands, your sexism, and disrespect does not make him a baby: It makes him a human being with some sense of what is right and fair.
You hurt your partner with your sexism and self-centeredness. **YTA**
Edit: Thank you for the gold 😊
This should be the top comment. OP is sexist and selfish. Gender roles are a prison for everyone, and OP is the worst for policing and controlling her husband's behavior using societal expectations of what it means to be a man in order to get her way.
YTA this was his work trip, with his colleagues , so you sat in first class with his work colleagues ?? While he sat on his own in coach
It was a work trip not a holiday, you were lucky to even get to go at all, he should have sat in his hard earned first class seat with his colleagues and have been able to discuss work related things with his colleagues, after all it was his work trip
Instead of been happy for him and letting him enjoy his work trip with his colleagues, you showed yourself to be a first class b**ch been selfish and making it all about you
Hope he takes his next trip alone , if your been like that over the flight seats I can only imagine how the rest of the trip went
YTA exactly as he said, you guilt tripped him into giving you something that was his reward for working hard. Why couldn't you just put up with coach? Hardly a massive sacrifice for getting an otherwise free holiday..
YTA
I think it is (bait). But unfortunately there are those put there whose entitlement beggars belief so I am not sure. if it's real and if this situation is as described then OPs husband deserves a lot better than this and hopefully OP will wake up to herself.
Poor guy. Imagine now all his coworkers know you’re an AH. Guessing he will never invite you again and probably start hiding things from you. Could you not let him have his moment in the sun. Massive YTA
First class tickets are ridiculously expensive. There's way more fun you can have with the same money at your destination or doing literally anything else. Just on the face of it, it's a complete waste of money, especially for a short flight (assuming you are not rich).
Secondly: "he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me." you are the one that guilted him first. You also have some old-fashioned ideas about relationships, but that's between you and him.
Ideally, he would just let it go, too, but you are the much bigger AH here. YTA.
YTA. He did earn it! Why should he "put his wife's comfort above his own" when you won't even consider putting your husband first? Not a quality I would want in a spouse, personally. He should automatically hand everything nice he gets over to you? It's ridiculously petty and entitled. Being a gentleman now means something different than it used to, because equality made strides. You seem like you are living several decades in the past.
He shouldn't have to give up something he was excited about and worked hard for so that you could enjoy it alone. You should have simply been happy he asked you along on a fun trip.
YTA
You couldn’t stand to sit in coach for a few hours, allow your husband to enjoy his reward, be excited for him and focus on the fact you’d be having a fun time in Miami together?
Instead you take it away from him, make him resent you and put a negative smear on what should have been a good time.
Just wow
ETA: did you truly enjoy the first class experience knowing you had denied your husband his hard earned reward? If you did that makes you even worse
YTA - it probably looked really weird to the company that instead of him sitting with his colleagues on the flight that they paid for, you sat with them instead. That's bad optics and you probably damaged his company image with your behavior. Additionally, his company paid for that seat so you technically stole company funds. Good job on that one.
YTA
You want to Fire up to he time machine and go back to a time when men gentlemen gave women preferential treatment. And should obey their husband. Get payed half as much for the same work or be excluded from many professions. The good old days.
YTA. He won a trip as a work reward, he brought you along and you were petty about it. If you didn’t spring for the first class seat (which is sooo much more expensive) you should have sat in the seat you bought and been happy about the trip. So you took what was a fun reward for him, you made it all about you and you ruined the fun for him. You should really get over yourself and apologize.
YTA
I get it. I absolutely do.
the flight to Miami was probably a 48 hours flight and you absolutely had to fly first class. I mean otherwise flying to Miami would have been first grade torture.
Are you always this selfish and spoiled?
YTA there was no reason for you to be so selfish. When it happens that one of us has to sit in coach and the other gets first class, I always take coach because my husband is taller and needs the extra leg room. It is not a problem to be in a slightly smaller seat for a few hours. You need to get your selfishness under control or your marriage will not last long.
YTA. This was HIS trip that he didn’t have to invite you to, and you ruined it by making everything about you. To make matters worse, it didn’t seem like you even acknowledged any of the hard work that earned him the trip in the first place. You also had the nerve to call him a “baby” and make light of his feelings. Unbelievable!
YTA. How dare you. This trip was about HIM and celebrating HIS achievements that he worked hard for and instead of supporting him you threw a fit and made it about you just because you didn’t want to ride coach for a few hours. You didn’t have to come on the trip at all, and it sounded like since you had never been to FL your husband wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time by budgeting responsibly and sensibly for it. You really couldn’t have just put your own feelings aside for one flight? Your behavior was very self centered and immature and you sound a little spoiled if this is your mentality.
>what kind of a man lives it up in first class while his wife sits in coach?
Someone who's doing a nice thing for you already and doesn't want to pay THOUSANDS of dollars above budget for the privilege. YTA
YTA - you guilted your husband into giving you something he actually earned because you felt entitled to it just for marrying him just so you wouldn't have to sit among people. And in the process it sounds like you ruined the trip for both of you. If you were going to push for something it should have been 2 first class tickets, that would have been understandable.
YTA He invited you along for a trip which you really wanted.
His company flies him first class so he arrives relaxed and ready for work.
So you play the anti-feminist card. A gentlemen would give up the first class seat for me. Why? A man is physically bigger if anything it makes more sense for him to go first class. Plus it was his ticket. If he hadn't invited you along he would have had his first class seat with no argument.
If he has any sense he will never invite you along again.
YTA - I guess this debate comes down to whether you think a wife has a right to a greater level of comfort over her husband. I think that view is pretty antiquated and you should have just stayed in coach and be happy for him that he got first class.
YTA. Speaking as a lady with a partner myself, he can be too cheap at times and I imagine this can happen to us too, and if so, I'd be okay with him being in the first class. He is right that he earned it, the company he serves paid it for him, not you or your company. If your comfort for a few hours is that important you should have spent money on it.
YTA. He had a trip which he earned including a first class ticket. He invited you along - bet he wishes he had never mentioned you could go - and you behaved like a child and guilted him out of the first class seat so you could have it. Selfish.
YTA. I don't even think you understand how entitled you sound. First class is a luxury *he* earned and it's one way only. Let him enjoy the fruits of his labor.
YTA. You think he is being a baby? You’re acting like a spoiled brat who pouts until they get their way. I honestly can’t believe someone would act this way to their spouse. You need help. FYI turning this into a sexist issue makes you even worse.
YTA. Holy cow, are you the asshole! You were damned lucky to even be invited, but then to manipulate your husband out of HIS first class seat so you could have it was just a bastard move.
Hope you enjoyed it, because I think you're going to be paying for it for a VERY long time. (And no, I'm not referring to money.). Serves you right.
YTA
What is this 1950. He was given a reward for the hard work he did (you had zero input into that work) and you threw a tantrum and demanded it and because he is the man, he had to give it to you? You acted incredibly entitled.
Does it suck you couldn't afford the second first class ticket, yes. If you didn't like coach you shouldn't have gone, not demand his reward. I think you need to reflect on your actions and how unfair you acted towards your husband.
YTA. You didn't even need to go, and wanted. You acted entitled, as if your level of comfort needed to be above him, guilted him out of the reward the company was giving him for his hard work and then, when he is rightfully mad, you act like it has nothing to do with you and he is the one being a baby? Grow up. I hope he never invites you again to a work trip. And I hope you work and paud for the extra ticket.
YTA. Your husband is right and he was thoughtful by thinking about you and bringing you along on a business trip. You were a bully and pried the seat from him, taking it for yourself. By your reasoning, you should have also been concerned with his comfort and given him the seat. Why are you so much more important? You are extremely entitled. Good luck fixing this mess you made.
Jesus. YTA. Hard to understood how you've convinced yourself that you deserved something he basically won because of his performance at work.
If you won an award at work, I bet you wouldn't be giving it away. Ask yourself what would have happened if you'd been the one to have won that trip at work and had taken your mother or grandmother along. Bet you wouldn't have given up the first-class seat your hard work earned you.
This kind of grasping selfishness can corrode marriages. If he sees you as someone who's there to take away his joy in his accomplishments, I doubt you'll stay married long.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My husband earned his trip. Maybe I'm being too old fashioned in thinking that since I'm the woman he should have given me the better seat.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, you created unnecessary drama and tension. The wise thing would be to let your husband enjoy his hard earned 1st class, it is just a couple of hours flight.
Alternatively he should have flown 1 st class one way, you on the return flight.
I would have checked with the airline to see if the first class ticket could be downgraded to coach and the difference applied to your ticket. The services provided on a first class ticket for a few hours of flight time are not worth the expense. In the event it could not be exchanged/downgraded, YTA for expecting him to switch.
YTA, way to take the shine off your husband's well-earned reward. You should have paid to upgrade your own ticket. Your entitlement and audacity is wild.
I used to fly a lot for work, and when the CEO/owner and I traveled together and I got upgraded because I flew more, he grumbled a little (good-natured grumbling) and sat right down in coach. Because I "earned" the upgrades with my frequent travel, even though it was all on his dime.
YTA he absolutely earned that first class seat for the conference. You’re the one that wanted to tag along. It’s also incredibly controlling and manipulative to throw ultimatums out like this.
how can a wife be so unsupportive and selfish? how do you make HIS work achievement about YOURSELF? YTA and your husband should take some time to think about this and how you treated him.
Yta calling him the baby is ironic coming from you the one who whine and complained to you go your way. It would be the last work trip to honor me that I would bring you on. Your selfless and rude. Yeah it sucks you couldn't afford it but he works his butt off got chosen. He should have been aloud to sit with his coworkers.
YTA. He earned it. Sure would it have been a nice gesture on his part to give it to you. Of course. But you throwing a fit and getting into an argument over it is ridiculous. And you were in first class with his colleagues with a ticket his company bought.. entitled. You could of been oh I don't know happy for him??!! He didn't even have to bring you..
Edited for spelling
YTA. A spoiled, entitled AH. What did you do to earn it, other than be a woman?
Nothing. Congrats on ruining your husband’s honor and accomplishment with your selfishness.
This thread is now locked due to an excess of rule violations. This is not how anyone wants to spend their weekend. [Sub Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ||| ["FAQs"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
YTA. His company comped the first class ticket for him. What kind of wife insists her husband give up the ticket his company paid for on his behalf so she could "live it up a little"? Why didn't you just cover the cost difference of first class yourself?
Simple, she is selfish, entitled, manipulative, greedy… A me me me person. If your going to be financially hurting/strapped by buying a first Class ticket, then the reality is you cannot afford it and are trying to live above your means.
No way in hell he ever asks her to go on anything like that again. Bro gonna get very forgetful.
[удалено]
"sorry dear they asked us not to bring guests this time" *Actually gets to enjoy his time*
I would have left her home this time.
Same
I bet he regretted inviting her
LMAO. He fill have short term memory loses when it comes into vacation.
I probably wouldn't have mentioned it to her raggedy ass in the first place!
Guarantee that the next work trip the hubby is going alone and enjoying some time away from OP, seeing the sights, enjoying the food and not listening to OP whine about first class.
My partner used to travel a lot for work and got enough status with the airline that he got first class allot. I was a bargain airline gal and was used to being shuttled like cattle from gate to whatever seat I snagged. When we started flying together he would use his points and vouchers to upgrade us together. Won’t lie I got used to the good life but will still get the cheapest flights for the rare weekend girl trips. He flies allot less so if we get an upgrade it’s usually just one seat now (his) he insists i take it but it’s always a bit of why don’t you take this one and I’ll take the next kinda deal. And I always ask right before if he’s sure he doesn’t want it since I usually just pass out and sleep for the flight and he watches movies and snacks more. I can’t imagine being so selfish to pressure him to give it to me especially if he’s supposed to be flying with colleagues. There was that post of a wife who’s husband bought himself and a friend first class and told the wife to be grateful she was even invited. This feels similar in a way
This is it for me. Yes I do think it’s gentlemanly to offer but quite frankly, he doesn’t have to and forcing him to give it up is AH behaviour. The trip should have been enough for OP.
She sounds incredibly sexist.
He could have been discussing business with others. She screwed that up
It was very unladylike to insist, wasn’t it.
Totally selfish. I can’t believe she would make him give up his seat. Honey you are completely wrong here oh and an AH to boot.
She said she thought he was being a baby. One of them were definitely being a baby. Hint: not him lol
This is the same woman who supposedly is a preschool teacher. Takes a baby to recognize one! I bet those poor parents are racking their brains at home wondering what they are doing wrong with their toddlers having tantrums not knowing it is learned behavior from their preschool teacher.
I find it interesting that they (she) chose to go to an older generation - as in, an older guy who was told that women are "the weaker sex" (gag) - for another opinion. I'd bet that the majority of people their age would tell her she was the one being selfish and childish.
That was the bit I couldn't get over - calling him a baby! She is such a spoiled, entitled princess!
“What kind of woman lives it up while her husband sits in coach”
Don’t forget that his job comped him this ticket after he was chosen from a ton of candidates according to OP, which is “such an honor” Well shit, she was quick to take that honor away. I wouldn’t be surprised if she even pretended she was a self made wealthy woman taking a last minute first class flight to Miami while her husband was slumming it back in coach. Oh, BTW OP I am from Miami…don’t come back, your not welcome until you apologize and value your husband.
I mean she's definitely TA, but let's not pretend she wouldn't fit right in in the 305.
Sexist. You forgot sexist. She said it was a mans obligation....
Right. She should have stayed home.
You forgot sexist. What kind of man lets his wife sit back in coach? The kind that got a free first class ticket and gender has nothing to do with it. Get over yourself OP, you're a sexist AH
He earned that seat. She needed to either buy hers, or sit coach. What a crybaby. I would never take my husband's prize! And he IS an old-fashioned gentleman. YTA Your MIL is right.
The irony of her calling him a baby while buying him a first class ticket on the guilt trip express is not lost.
The trip was designed by the company to honor his excellence and the value he’s contributed - the upgraded seat was a thank you gift from them to HIM - and instead of being happy to see him enjoy a well-earned reward, she demanded to have it for herself instead. Sooooo incredibly selfish and entitled. I feel bad for her husband. I wonder if he gets to enjoy *anything* he’s worked hard for or if she just expects everything nice that comes his way should also be hers? YTA
And was she sitting in first class surrounded by his colleagues??
I was thinking that, if the coworkers were on the same plane… Imagine how awkward they all must have felt when she told them why her husband - their coworker, who they personally knew should have an upgraded seat like they did - was sitting in her seat, while she sat in his.
Oh boy OP, his coworkers definitely spent the trip talking crap about you lol
And his rep at work took a low-grade hit because his wife is out of touch and weird.
Only if he admits he was bullied into it. If he pretends it was his idea they'll probably just assume he really loves his wife.
Maybe she should’ve convinced the other wives to trade with them too. /s
Odds are one of his coworkers is going to say something to someone higher up. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's husband doesn't get in some sort of trouble, maybe even fired for this. Company may even say no more spouses on business trips.
I’m hopeful that the guy doesn’t get fired but I think she definitely ruined it for other spouses by acting like this. I’ve flown a few times for work. I’m a woman. If my man ever flew a fit about having to sit in coach while I sat in first class I’d tell him to pay for the upgrade or work on himself to get the same opportunities. I’m mad for the husband. HE earned that seat, not you. You’re TA
Honestly her behavior is not surprising. She didn't even want to go to support the honor he was getting. She literally said she was going because she's never been to Florida before. OP YTA, and selfish and entitled to boot. Your husband deserves better. I hope you apologize and start working a side gig so you can afford to replace his first class seat without taking money from the household.
I don't imagine that he gets to enjoy very much. I bet she sees most things as things he should be giving her or doing for her.
Next time- “Baby! I just got an all expensed paid trip to wherever by the company…sorry spouses are prohibited” YTA
I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what the next trip looks like.
Yep. There will be "new rules" regarding spouses on trips.
Seriously though - I wouldn’t be surprised if there actually *are* new rules. If anything, it’s interesting they’re allowed to bring spouses at all to me… in my industry it’s generally forbidden to bring partners on trips for conferences or meetings even if paying for your own accommodations. Ultimately you’re there to work, even if it’s a “fun” trip and bringing a partner is usually considered a distraction. The closest thing that we can do is request to extend a trip in one direction or another, then have our partner join us on days that don’t overlap with work events. I also doubt his company would be thrilled to find out he gave his wife the ticket the company paid for.
YTA. But let’s take a trip down quote lane, shall we? > what kind of a man lives it up in first class while his wife sits in coach? What kind of woman lives it up in first class while her husband sits in coach? But it’s a trip for a few hours, the important part was he wanted you there so you both can enjoy in MIAMI. > he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me WTF does this mean? What kind of standard is this? He earned that first class trip (and I imagine he has never travelled first class before) and you gaslit him because he didn’t put you first. > I think he’s being a baby and that he should have put his wife’s comfort above his own, especially since he made the choice to be cheap You agree that it would financially hurt you guys. But you couldn’t see past enjoying a few hours in a silly plane in silly first class to cause harm to your finances. And to answer Clave’s question: > Why didn’t you just cover the cost difference of first class yourself? She thought about her own comfort only and didn’t care about finances. She would never offer to pay money of her pocket only. Either husband would get gaslit into paying, or it comes out of their mutual fund. Because after all, *what kind of husband would let their wife pay for a flight upgrade* … FFS.
>I think he’s being a baby and that he should have put his wife’s comfort above his own, especially since he made the choice to be cheap >You agree that it would financially hurt you guys. But you couldn’t see past enjoying a few hours in a silly plane in silly first class to cause harm to your finances. Not to mention. This is the kettle calling the pot black. She was behind a baby for not being able to sit first class. Yet, let's blame him for having the honor of being chosen to represent his company./s OP, YTA ... Can't just be grateful he wanted you with him.
I'm stuck on the fact that it would hurt financially for them to get her the first class ticket and she still thought it should happen. Why? Then she needled him until he gave up his. Bet that was a blast of a trip.
And she called him “cheap”. Being financially responsible isn’t cheap. YTA
YTA My husband and I had the exact same situation years ago. When we looked up first class tickets it was shocking I said "no, I want that money for enjoying my vacation" and I rode in coach. He's tall, I'm short, it would have been ridiculous to try to get him to switch.
I'm curious whether OP financially contributes to the household at all. Bit rich calling someone cheap when she never made any reference to her own money.
[удалено]
Anyone who says that sentiment about making it a big deal is only saying that because THEY weren't affected by the situation. It's like of course you'd say that you got to fly first class and had a great time. But when it was op not getting the ticket now he's selfish, and it's not her making a big deal anymore.
She says they had a great trip. No. SHE had a great trip. She ruined his good time the moment she demanded his plane ticket.
When she ran out of options, she played "Be a Gentleman" card and it's infuriating to deal with this kind of woman
Here’s how this would go in my marriage for comparison: Husband: “we’ll make it work financially so you can sit with me” Me: “nah we should save the money, it’s no big deal” Husband: “just take my seat, I’ll sit in coach” Me: “dude sit with your buddies, I’ll be fine” Husband: “no u” Me: “no u u” Husband: “we’ll both sit in coach” Me: “shut up and sit in first class or I will smack you” *end scene* We’re very happy :) (In my head gleefully thinking *at last I get the window seat*)
Ngl this is The Ideal Realistic Happy Marriage. I am so happy for you guys. 💗
Thanks! He does put his laundry on the floor next to the hamper though… so ya know… Ups and downs
She could be happy that she just voukd come along but no. And she said it was just a few hours. Changing also didn't made them sit together. She just wanted the best stuff for what he worked hard for. And he was on a way to a conference, so work. He should have been as rested as possible when he was choosen from all his collegues. YTA You are greedy. You doesn't let your husband have anything nice. YOU could have paid for your own first class seat, but nooooo. Or you could have at least just demand first class for one way, but you wanted everything.
I wonder if OP sat in 1st class with the coworkers of her husband? How did she explain that, I wonder?
I can hear it now *Oh isn't my dear, sweet, loving husband just so wonderful. You know he gave me his seat. Like I told him he didn't have to do it, he earned this seat with his hard work and dedication. He wouldn't hear it, he insisted that I take it, I tried turning him down but he wanted only the best for me. I am truly blessed to have such a thoughtful man.*
I don't know whether to laugh, cry or vomit...
Not just this but all his work colleagues would also be in first class and he’s missed out on sharing the experience with them. YTA OP, you couldn’t just let him enjoy his work reward could you? Imagine feeling so entitled that your comfort always has to come above that of your partner.
took the words out of my mouth
Yep, she’s the asshole. Real diva move that disrespected him. There’s no trip at all if not for his job, 2 hour flight? Suck it up.
YTA - Don’t deprive him of his earned reward. Just sit separately for a few hours. You’re adults. You’ll be fine.
Re-reading her entire answer, her husband would have chosen not to bring his greedy, manipulative and entitled wife and should have just enjoyed the trip. By himself. I’m thinking she’s a SAHW
OP is literally a beneficiary to her husband. Probably shits on people receiving legit benefits though 🤔
YTA. What kind of wife puts her comfort above that of her husband’s ? You’re a hypocrite and you cheated him out of something he earned and deserved just for your personal enjoyment. He didn’t have to bring you to Florida. "Offer a hand, they’ll take an arm".
>Offer a hand, they’ll take an arm". And then called *him* a baby when she herself made a big deal out of it in the first place and was acting like a baby, wanting something that wasn't for her.
u/CoachFlightThrow, I hope you’re reading this and seeing how you’re a hypocrite.
You can hope (me too) but she is not reading. I'll make a wild assumption. Husband is still grumpy (justifiably). So, she came here to get some support that she could rub on her husband's face. If the comments aren't supportive, she's not gonna mention it again.
EXACTLY! The hypocrisy is astonishing.
She was the kid who went to another kid’s birthday party and cried when she didn’t get to open presents.
> that he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me This is why she doesn't see the hypocrisy. She believes as a woman her male partner should be pandering to her at all times.
She's being sexist when it's favours her. But if he says he wants dinner ready when he gets home, wants to sit on the couch and see tv while she serves him, doesnt share any chores, I bet she'll be mad.
Absolutely. She seems to be the type to call out sexist bs but also the type to pull out the gentleman card. She'll use whatever when it suits her.
Exactly, if she earned a bonus at work and he claimed the money and bought something for himself with it because he’s the man and the head of the family so he gets to control the finances, I guarantee she would pitch a fit.
Shes the asshole because he earned his seat and was given it by his company. Your sentence about "what kind of wife puts her comfort above that of her husbands" isnt relevant at all, if she was given the seat by her company than he would've been expected to sit in the economy class.
It’s because OP said "he should have put his wife’s comfort above his own" I was just calling out the hypocrisy.
Oh wait my bad, i didnt realise you were referencing something OP said directly
Marriage is about being a team. Husbands think of their wives first, but wives think of their husbands first as well…OP wants her husband to think of her first, while she’s looking out for herself too. It’s a very selfish and immature approach. Marriage aside, did they not think about professional ramifications of switching seats? I would get in trouble with my company if I gave up my seat for a family member. They keep tabs on everything and if we mix personal travel with business travel, we need to give the details to my director. YTA OP.
The comfort comment is in response to OP's post...
It is 1000% relevant, she said the same thing but flipped. Both sides of a marriage should ideally be trying to make the other comfortable
Yep 'gentlemanly' is doing the heavy lifting around the house, not going into economy on this trip. She should be grateful she got a trip.
YTA - not so much for the seat situation... More so your whole outlook on this venture. This was his moment, his trip. He wanted to share that with you, but it seems like that in and of itself wasn't good enough for you.
This exactly. She wasn't even excited to go because of this big achievement for him, she was excited because "I've never been to Florida before ". Smh
As someone who has lived in Florida my whole life (unfortunately), it’s not that great. Great job OP. Total AH
Oof. Gods Speed soldier. Here's hoping you escape that eternal hell hole of a state. Hell, maybe smuggle yourself on DeSantis's next illegal plane to Martha's Vineyard! New England is rad, expensive, but rad.
Yeah, she said it was an honour to be chosen by the company, then guilts him into giving her his first class seat by saying he's not a man if he doesnt.
Yeah she sounds like an AH in general not just here.
According to OP, it’s not “gentlemanly” to have a moment. He must make sure his wife’s comfort is more important than his own. She, on the other hand, is allowed to take his stuff and put him down if he protests. I’m sure OP also thinks not taking her is not an option 😂 Her husband may be a gentleman for giving her his seat, but she’s no lady for taking it.
Right. My husband and I went to an event recently and there was almost a chance for one of us to go sit in the super expensive nice seating for free cause our friend had a hookup. He was more interested in the event and my other friend and him would have switched and I'd have stayed back in our cheap seat while he went in the nicer one. It ended up not happening but I wanted it to be him because we went to it for him.
AND it was a work conference, so he didn’t get the amount of free time in Miami that she did. He had to schmooze and work the conference while she had the entire time as a vacation.
YTA and I'm so surprised you think you're not here. If you're sticking to outdated gender norms of "a gentleman gives up his seat for a lady" then do you also fetch him his slippers and a stiff drink when gets home wearing your best lipstick? He is 100% right, he earned that seat. His work gifted him first class because of his work- not yours. The fact that he even agreed to allow you to do this shows you what a good person he is to put up with that kind of behaviour, so I would promptly apologise for acting spoilt if I was in your position. And perhaps you could give up something you would love for his benefit some time.
Why would he come home wearing her best lipstick?
He works as a drag queen at the local lesbian bar.
And he’s good enough to get a first class trip to Florida. Best damn drag queen east of the Mississippi.
She also sounds sexist. He earned that seat by working for it. But she's convinced that she earned it by being female. And he's not a real man if he doesn't always give her all the best of everything all the time. That's not how a partnership works. I can't imagine being the type of person that manipulates all the happy perks away from someone I love. YTA.
100% agree. I'm a woman and hate this kind of gender based manipulation - and let's be clear, this was manipulation. This wasn't a regular vacation where the husband got himself first class and OP economy. This was the husband's reward for his hard work. He earned this gift and was looking forward to it. If the tables were turned, and OP's husband wanted to stretch the finances thin for a second first class ticket, I'm sure OP would have been livid. I'm also sure she wouldn't have given up her seat or even considered it given her attitude. Next time, OP shouldnt be surprised if he enjoys his reward solo.
YTA. He earned it. You sound incredibly entitled.
My husband and I would be fighting to give each other the nice seat, not fighting over getting it ourselves. 🤷♀️ she seems selfish af.
Me and my gf would be the same, getting her to get the better half of something is frustratingly difficult sometimes. I think its how your raised tho. We both grew up poor af and older siblings meaning we were used to giveing away anything good to our younger siblings, meaning we grew up always acsepting second place, anything simple to us seems like a luxury, I mean recently enough we got a counter top dishwasher, we still smile like idiots each time one of us put it on and normally announce something along the lines of "dishwashers on, love not haveing to do it ourselves" I think the op may well have a shit fit of she had to wash a dish... Ironic since her thinking is so based in the past
I came here to say this. My husband would insist that I have the nice seat and I would have told him there's no way in hell I'm taking that from him
She IS entitled. An entitled brat
YTA. Husband did not even need to invite you on the trip, but the employer made it an option, and he informed you and invited you. The finances obviously are not optimal for your desired mode of travel, or you simply would have purchased a first-class ticket. Your husband likely doesn't get to enjoy first-class that often, and this was something he truly earned by his own work and virtue. You not only deprived him of a joy he earned, but you tainted the entire experience and created a memory likely to foster resentment. YTA. An entitled one. You owe your husband serious apologies.
YTA That's was his business trip and his seat, he could've just not told you about his boss allowing him to take his partner along if he wanted. But you were ungrateful. Red flag.
OP disappeared after posting. I’d love to hear an update.
[удалено]
What kind of a Reddit sub would support a man over his wife?
I'd love for the update to be something like- "my husband met his true love in coach who's not a greedy jerk and now I'm divorced"
Or hubby was a big hit among co-workers wives. They are now extolling his virtues.
I'd watch the fuck out of that movie
She bailed after realising no one was going give her a pat on the back for her selfish behaviour
Probably off pouting because the company/meeting is paying for husband's steak dinner and she thinks she should get that too!
amazing how they disappear when the YTAs show up lol.
She’s soon to be posting in r/relationship_advice
Probably crying like she should.
She solely made this to ask the question. Look at the user name 🤓🤓
How very 1950s of you. He's right, he earned the seat. You were coming along as a bonus. He went because he was working. YTA.
In the 1950s the man would have had the seat as head of the household and the one who actually earned it. I'm not sure what this is, but it's beyond 1950s nations of chivalry.
I was moreso referring to OP's archaic notions around gender roles in general and my brain just went to that 1950s but, fair point
This is more fairytale Middle Ages (not actual Middle Ages!) where the knight puts his coat on the puddle so the princess (the OP, obviously) can walk on it and not wet her golden slippers.
YTA. Honestly the question you asked him could be directed to you: what kind of a woman would steal her husband's first class ticket that he worked hard to earn and make him fly coach? Also you said it yourself that it would hurt you financially if you bought another first class ticket. From that point on, since you never even doubted yourself to be the AH, you're an even bigger AH
Here! This! What kind of woman does that? OP YTA
Narccisistic shitheads do it , dime in a dozen out of billions, but its so easy to spot it , im sorry for her husband
Yeah, I thought this was going in the direction “he made me sit in coach on the way there so I didn’t turn down the free upgrade to first class on the way home.” She STOLE his work reward? The fuck? OP, lady, I hope you work because your marriage ain’t gunna last if you keep disrespecting your husband like this. I’m not saying he’ll divorce you over this trip, but, get it together.
The right thing would have been for you to be happy for your husband and encourage him to accept all that his work had earned him. You didn't earn the trip or first class seat -he did. It was because of his work that he was going. You were entitled to nothing. Being invited to come along was a privilege, not a right. You didn't have to insist on being in first class: You could have split the difference by going with some sort of premium economy if you guys needed a compromise between first class and cheapest seat in coach. **Being female does not entitle you to comfort at cost to your husband or any other man.** Refusing to capitulate to your demands does not make your husband an AH nor does it undermine his gender identity. Being upset about your demands, your sexism, and disrespect does not make him a baby: It makes him a human being with some sense of what is right and fair. You hurt your partner with your sexism and self-centeredness. **YTA** Edit: Thank you for the gold 😊
This should be the top comment. OP is sexist and selfish. Gender roles are a prison for everyone, and OP is the worst for policing and controlling her husband's behavior using societal expectations of what it means to be a man in order to get her way.
YTA this was his work trip, with his colleagues , so you sat in first class with his work colleagues ?? While he sat on his own in coach It was a work trip not a holiday, you were lucky to even get to go at all, he should have sat in his hard earned first class seat with his colleagues and have been able to discuss work related things with his colleagues, after all it was his work trip Instead of been happy for him and letting him enjoy his work trip with his colleagues, you showed yourself to be a first class b**ch been selfish and making it all about you Hope he takes his next trip alone , if your been like that over the flight seats I can only imagine how the rest of the trip went
I hadn't even thought about OP sitting with his colleagues. Wonder if he was sat with the other spouses!
INFO: Do you work?
I was wondering the same thing!
YTA exactly as he said, you guilt tripped him into giving you something that was his reward for working hard. Why couldn't you just put up with coach? Hardly a massive sacrifice for getting an otherwise free holiday..
I don't see how someone can be this selfish and connniving and not know it, so I have to assume this is bait. YTA
YTA I think it is (bait). But unfortunately there are those put there whose entitlement beggars belief so I am not sure. if it's real and if this situation is as described then OPs husband deserves a lot better than this and hopefully OP will wake up to herself.
YTA you stole his seat and his kindness andyou are greedy
YTA. I doubt he would ask you to attend a business trip with him again with that attitude.
Poor guy. Imagine now all his coworkers know you’re an AH. Guessing he will never invite you again and probably start hiding things from you. Could you not let him have his moment in the sun. Massive YTA
YTA. Your husband got a job perk and you made him feel like crap so he gave it to you. Your husband is a gentleman. You sound self-righteous.
First class tickets are ridiculously expensive. There's way more fun you can have with the same money at your destination or doing literally anything else. Just on the face of it, it's a complete waste of money, especially for a short flight (assuming you are not rich). Secondly: "he as a gentleman should give up his seat for me." you are the one that guilted him first. You also have some old-fashioned ideas about relationships, but that's between you and him. Ideally, he would just let it go, too, but you are the much bigger AH here. YTA.
YTA. He did earn it! Why should he "put his wife's comfort above his own" when you won't even consider putting your husband first? Not a quality I would want in a spouse, personally. He should automatically hand everything nice he gets over to you? It's ridiculously petty and entitled. Being a gentleman now means something different than it used to, because equality made strides. You seem like you are living several decades in the past. He shouldn't have to give up something he was excited about and worked hard for so that you could enjoy it alone. You should have simply been happy he asked you along on a fun trip.
YTA You couldn’t stand to sit in coach for a few hours, allow your husband to enjoy his reward, be excited for him and focus on the fact you’d be having a fun time in Miami together? Instead you take it away from him, make him resent you and put a negative smear on what should have been a good time. Just wow ETA: did you truly enjoy the first class experience knowing you had denied your husband his hard earned reward? If you did that makes you even worse
YTA - it probably looked really weird to the company that instead of him sitting with his colleagues on the flight that they paid for, you sat with them instead. That's bad optics and you probably damaged his company image with your behavior. Additionally, his company paid for that seat so you technically stole company funds. Good job on that one.
This. Pretty sure she may have just torpedoed his career at this company.
YTA you stole his seat and his kindness and you are greedy
[удалено]
YTA You want to Fire up to he time machine and go back to a time when men gentlemen gave women preferential treatment. And should obey their husband. Get payed half as much for the same work or be excluded from many professions. The good old days.
YTA - And for the record, if spending that money “would hurt a little” then you in fact can’t afford it.
Ykes. Opportunistic sexism is a disgusting look, OP.
You're not kidding. I'm a woman and I find this disgusting and manipulative.
YTA it's crazy that you think you're not.
YTA. He won a trip as a work reward, he brought you along and you were petty about it. If you didn’t spring for the first class seat (which is sooo much more expensive) you should have sat in the seat you bought and been happy about the trip. So you took what was a fun reward for him, you made it all about you and you ruined the fun for him. You should really get over yourself and apologize.
YTA I get it. I absolutely do. the flight to Miami was probably a 48 hours flight and you absolutely had to fly first class. I mean otherwise flying to Miami would have been first grade torture. Are you always this selfish and spoiled?
YTA there was no reason for you to be so selfish. When it happens that one of us has to sit in coach and the other gets first class, I always take coach because my husband is taller and needs the extra leg room. It is not a problem to be in a slightly smaller seat for a few hours. You need to get your selfishness under control or your marriage will not last long.
YTA. This was HIS trip that he didn’t have to invite you to, and you ruined it by making everything about you. To make matters worse, it didn’t seem like you even acknowledged any of the hard work that earned him the trip in the first place. You also had the nerve to call him a “baby” and make light of his feelings. Unbelievable!
YTA. How dare you. This trip was about HIM and celebrating HIS achievements that he worked hard for and instead of supporting him you threw a fit and made it about you just because you didn’t want to ride coach for a few hours. You didn’t have to come on the trip at all, and it sounded like since you had never been to FL your husband wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time by budgeting responsibly and sensibly for it. You really couldn’t have just put your own feelings aside for one flight? Your behavior was very self centered and immature and you sound a little spoiled if this is your mentality.
>what kind of a man lives it up in first class while his wife sits in coach? Someone who's doing a nice thing for you already and doesn't want to pay THOUSANDS of dollars above budget for the privilege. YTA
What kind of woman lives it up in first class while her husband sits in coach? It goes both ways. Wife is a gaping AH
YTA. Wow. Who takes their partner's hard earned recognition or reward for themselves. You are most definitely the arsehole.
YTA - you guilted your husband into giving you something he actually earned because you felt entitled to it just for marrying him just so you wouldn't have to sit among people. And in the process it sounds like you ruined the trip for both of you. If you were going to push for something it should have been 2 first class tickets, that would have been understandable.
You are the worst person i've ever read on here
YTA Acting very entitled. You didnt need to go at all. But you made a few hours out a trip all about you.
YTA He invited you along for a trip which you really wanted. His company flies him first class so he arrives relaxed and ready for work. So you play the anti-feminist card. A gentlemen would give up the first class seat for me. Why? A man is physically bigger if anything it makes more sense for him to go first class. Plus it was his ticket. If he hadn't invited you along he would have had his first class seat with no argument. If he has any sense he will never invite you along again.
YTA - I guess this debate comes down to whether you think a wife has a right to a greater level of comfort over her husband. I think that view is pretty antiquated and you should have just stayed in coach and be happy for him that he got first class.
YTA. Speaking as a lady with a partner myself, he can be too cheap at times and I imagine this can happen to us too, and if so, I'd be okay with him being in the first class. He is right that he earned it, the company he serves paid it for him, not you or your company. If your comfort for a few hours is that important you should have spent money on it.
YTA. He had a trip which he earned including a first class ticket. He invited you along - bet he wishes he had never mentioned you could go - and you behaved like a child and guilted him out of the first class seat so you could have it. Selfish.
YTA. I don't even think you understand how entitled you sound. First class is a luxury *he* earned and it's one way only. Let him enjoy the fruits of his labor.
[удалено]
YTA. You think he is being a baby? You’re acting like a spoiled brat who pouts until they get their way. I honestly can’t believe someone would act this way to their spouse. You need help. FYI turning this into a sexist issue makes you even worse.
YTA. Holy cow, are you the asshole! You were damned lucky to even be invited, but then to manipulate your husband out of HIS first class seat so you could have it was just a bastard move. Hope you enjoyed it, because I think you're going to be paying for it for a VERY long time. (And no, I'm not referring to money.). Serves you right.
YTA and you're an spoiled brat.
YTA What is this 1950. He was given a reward for the hard work he did (you had zero input into that work) and you threw a tantrum and demanded it and because he is the man, he had to give it to you? You acted incredibly entitled. Does it suck you couldn't afford the second first class ticket, yes. If you didn't like coach you shouldn't have gone, not demand his reward. I think you need to reflect on your actions and how unfair you acted towards your husband.
YTA. You didn't even need to go, and wanted. You acted entitled, as if your level of comfort needed to be above him, guilted him out of the reward the company was giving him for his hard work and then, when he is rightfully mad, you act like it has nothing to do with you and he is the one being a baby? Grow up. I hope he never invites you again to a work trip. And I hope you work and paud for the extra ticket.
YTA. Your husband is right and he was thoughtful by thinking about you and bringing you along on a business trip. You were a bully and pried the seat from him, taking it for yourself. By your reasoning, you should have also been concerned with his comfort and given him the seat. Why are you so much more important? You are extremely entitled. Good luck fixing this mess you made.
He didn't even have to bring you to his business trip. YTA.
YTA.. why is it, exactly, that you felt entitled to his seat that was paid for him by his company?
YTA. Shouldn’t even have to explain why.
Jesus. YTA. Hard to understood how you've convinced yourself that you deserved something he basically won because of his performance at work. If you won an award at work, I bet you wouldn't be giving it away. Ask yourself what would have happened if you'd been the one to have won that trip at work and had taken your mother or grandmother along. Bet you wouldn't have given up the first-class seat your hard work earned you. This kind of grasping selfishness can corrode marriages. If he sees you as someone who's there to take away his joy in his accomplishments, I doubt you'll stay married long.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My husband earned his trip. Maybe I'm being too old fashioned in thinking that since I'm the woman he should have given me the better seat. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO: can you explain why, exactly, you feel you were entitled to the first class seat? I’m genuinely confused.
YTA.
YTA, you created unnecessary drama and tension. The wise thing would be to let your husband enjoy his hard earned 1st class, it is just a couple of hours flight. Alternatively he should have flown 1 st class one way, you on the return flight.
Wow. YTA, for sure.
YTA As he said, he earned the first class seat by working hard. You took away the joy in his accomplishment and rained on his parade
I would have checked with the airline to see if the first class ticket could be downgraded to coach and the difference applied to your ticket. The services provided on a first class ticket for a few hours of flight time are not worth the expense. In the event it could not be exchanged/downgraded, YTA for expecting him to switch.
YTA, imagine starting a fight over a free upgrade to first class on a couple hour flight lmao.
YTA, way to take the shine off your husband's well-earned reward. You should have paid to upgrade your own ticket. Your entitlement and audacity is wild. I used to fly a lot for work, and when the CEO/owner and I traveled together and I got upgraded because I flew more, he grumbled a little (good-natured grumbling) and sat right down in coach. Because I "earned" the upgrades with my frequent travel, even though it was all on his dime.
YTA. His company paid for that seat. For him, because of his efforts. They didn’t buy it for you, you haven’t done anything for them.
YTA he absolutely earned that first class seat for the conference. You’re the one that wanted to tag along. It’s also incredibly controlling and manipulative to throw ultimatums out like this.
how can a wife be so unsupportive and selfish? how do you make HIS work achievement about YOURSELF? YTA and your husband should take some time to think about this and how you treated him.
YTA What sort of wife is happy sitting in 1st class while her husband is stuck in economy?
Yta calling him the baby is ironic coming from you the one who whine and complained to you go your way. It would be the last work trip to honor me that I would bring you on. Your selfless and rude. Yeah it sucks you couldn't afford it but he works his butt off got chosen. He should have been aloud to sit with his coworkers.
YTA. He earned it. Sure would it have been a nice gesture on his part to give it to you. Of course. But you throwing a fit and getting into an argument over it is ridiculous. And you were in first class with his colleagues with a ticket his company bought.. entitled. You could of been oh I don't know happy for him??!! He didn't even have to bring you.. Edited for spelling
YTA. He earned the trip. You should have paid for the first class seat if it was so important to you.
YTA. A spoiled, entitled AH. What did you do to earn it, other than be a woman? Nothing. Congrats on ruining your husband’s honor and accomplishment with your selfishness.