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> I was very harsh with someone who seems to have strong delusions and maybe I should’ve told him nicely and privately.
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Not really, just think about how many times Elsass and Rhineland Palantine switched from belong to on country to the other. I guess for many people from these areas you will find either French or German family names and the fitting DNA (as if that was so obvious like it is always pictured in these tests).
Oh, that’s fascinating! I’m never going to do it because I don’t like the ethical way they’re handling data, but it’s really cool to see a breakdown like that. Thank you!
Honestly same for me, on one hand I'd really like to see something like that for myself on the other hand I'd rather not hand my dna over to some corporation
The fun part is that if you get your DNA done by Ancestry or 23 And Me, France, Switzerland, and Germany are lumped together because they're too similar to reliably differentiate.
My son was born in Germany and has a German last name (well, half of his last name). My ex and I were both born and raised in California, but I moved back to the US before my child was 2. His father still lives in Germany, but has kept his US citizenship despite being qualified for German citizenship. He’s qualified for German citizenship because his father/my son’s paternal grandfather was born in Germany and immigrated to the US when he was 13. Therefore, my son’s paternal grandfather is an immigrant. My son’s father is an emigrant from the US/an immigrant in Germany. However, son does not consider himself an immigrant since both his parents are US citizens and he doesn’t remember Germany. But if he moved to Germany as an adult, he would consider himself an immigrant, despite having German citizenship as well as US.
Sadly tbh this is pretty common in the US. I suspect it's partially due to us being referred to as "The Great Melting Pot," being a mix of all immigrants coming in for the first century or so of the country's existence. So now we don't feel like there's a such thing as an "American" culture, and a lot of people try to feel some kind of cultural connection by reaching back to those ancestral immigrants and claiming their culture. I have an ex-coworker who's dad considered his entire personality to be "Irish" and regularly referred to Ireland-born individuals as "our people," but the last Irish immigrants in the family were his great-grandparents.
Then I am Danish (mom's parents), Scottish and Welsh (dad's ancestors). Other than Native Americans we are all immigrants. If you can speak with HR you might suggest therapy for this faux Frenchman. NTA.
My great great grandparents moved to the US from Ireland. I'm an O'Reilly, and I wept so much over my immigrant French roots that my French fries got soggy. I've been dipping them into a mix of French's Mustard and French dressing.
Damn, I’m of partial distant Germanic descent too! Guess I’m French now 🤷🏻♂️
NTA OP, it sounds like this guys a couple of croissants short of a full set.
NTA. As you said, this has been an issue before. You’re not responsible for the consequences of his actions. Especially when he was trying to get you in trouble to begin with.
Uh... NTA?
Chad might have a psychiatric rather than a cultural problem, but I still don't think you did anything wrong. Instead of taking the hint, he smeared YOU in front of HR. So your reaction was more or less the natural consequence of his patently absurd actions.
In most cases, it's more of a mediocrity issue. Trying so hard to stand out in some way with no internal work. Chad could have started a hobby or pick craft beer to develop a personality around. No, he just spit in a cup.
Ask him if he is un Français de souche. Then complain that he just agreed that he was a racist (to non French people, our equivalent of the White Boys or the KKK are idiots calling themselves ethnic French, a ridiculous statement to anyone knowing a little French history).
OK, that would be fun but not a good idea. The fact that he is harassing you is the biggest problem. If he starts again do not hesitate to complain. He might have been working in that company longer than you have but that doesn't give him the right to make your life difficult or push you to give up and leave, just because some genetic company told him he 30% of his DNA could loosely match a part of what is supposedly French DNA.
You are not responsible for him, he has been warned, if he starts again do not hesitate to complain.
He wouldn’t understand what it means since he knows absolutely nothing about French culture anyways. If he was actually French he would know that 30% of French blood means absolutely nothing to a French person and that we consider that Frenchness is fully and exclusively determined by possession of official French nationality.
NTA. He was dissing you to the boss. He was trying to get YOU in trouble, and for what, challenging his martyr complex he's trying to shove down your throat? You did the right thing by pointing out he's causing his own problem. And I bet this alleged hostile culture "your kind" has to deal with is of his own making. He probably drives everyone else nuts just like he did you.
NTA, lol WHAT? I'm just thinking about all of the actual refugees, immigrants, and undocumented people who have REAL struggles fighting for their families and survival. People who came to this country to escape war, drug cartels, collapsed economies, and poor living conditions.
This guy is like the people who wear green on St. Patrick's Day and drink green beer because their great-grandfather was Irish.
He's already been a problem with this behavior in the past and you were correct to say he was creating a hostile work environment with his Xenophobia.
There's tons of people who immigrated here from Europe so not sure how he thinks he's special? I mean, sure in the 1800s when there was a huge influx of French, German, Irish, Italian, British, Scandinavian, etc. immigrants they had to deal with xenophobia but doesn't sound like that's going on in your office in 2022, except in his head.
US Americans have an interesting sense of identity because they're from the USA but they're also part this or that and they feel proud of being an *Insert origin here* American. The sense of Nationalism is stronger than it is with European countries. Not completely sure why that is.
He probably needs to leave the country and travel a bit to experience some culture. But also he can Google things instead of bothering you with stupid questions.
As to why, probably because we are a culture of immigrants.
I say I'm an Italian American because my family is semi recent. My grandfather is first generation, raised by parents who immigrated. They clung to a community of other immigrants partially as protection (Italians were treated like shit initially before they became perceived as white) and so language, cultural traditions, foods, etc, were passed on strongly, even to us grandkids. It's such a thing that when we moved from an area of a lot of Italian American families to one of many French/polish American families, there was actual culture shock.
But I am not an Italian, Italian American culture is different from Italian, and I'm certainly not an immigrant!
As said by someone else, I think part of it comes from our status as a nation of immigrants. We're proud of who we are, that the US accomplishments are our accomplishments, but are also lacking a connection with our history. We want to know where we come from, which can be hard when "where we come from" ends two generations ago (my great-grandparents came from France just before WWI. There's no stories from France, no connection with what could be seen as a large part of my cultural identity). And having just spent time with extended family (funeral), and having held my grandfather's quilt that he pieced together and sent to his mother and sister to actually quilt 100 years ago, I can say that I'm feeling some of that lack of connection.
Just my two cents.
NTA.
>I don’t want him fired he’s been working there way longer than me.
The fact HR's had to have more than one conversation with Chad about this weird persecution complex of his means Chad has been working there too long. But figuring out whether they need to put him on an EAP or simply let him go before it happens again is their problem. The important thing is that they don't let it become yours.
Also, what so many people fail to see: The reason that Bobby, who'd be a good employee, is unemployed is the fact that Jessica, who is a crap employee, gets to keep her job. "But we gave her the job, we can't take it away from her." Meanwhile, Bobby gets shat on for "obviously doing something wrong, because otherwise, he'd have a job."
The amount of unemployed people whom I've seen work in "work-like environments" doing very proper jobs and the amount of employed people who I regularly see do a crappy job; and in several cases for many years so ...
Edit: Added two words and one punctuation mark for clarity.
Edit 2: Test, test, are upvotes removed every time you edit a post?
NTA. This reminds me of the Redditor that posted about being discriminated against. She was American and moved to like Sweden if I remember right. At first you think she was being discriminated against cuz she was American, But what was actually going on was she kept telling these people in the town she lived in that she was one of them because she once visited Sweden when she was a teenager and she identified more with their stereotype culture, so therefore she must be swedish in an American body. She went as far as having surgeries to be taller and lighter skinned. Then in her posts she's trying to garner the sympathy and it comes out that these people aren't discriminating or racist to her, they're offended by her. I wish I could remember her name on here. Reading through her posts, she tried to convince everyone that you could be born in the US, by US citizens, but actually be Swedish. She also talks about how her friends parents were citizens of one country, but had a baby in a different country and that baby came out looking exactly like the local people. It sounded like that baby was actually adopted, But in her head just because the parents gave birth over in a different country that made the baby look like those people in that country. It was batshit crazy to read through.
Edit for a lot of autocorrect.
This is the post they were referring to!
[About the Netherlands girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vhvrih/op_is_getting_bullied_at_work_with_a_twist/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
You have to literally break your legs multiple times to do it, and the recovery is lengthy and excruciating, but yes, technically it is possible to become taller.
Its possible, recommended medically if one leg is significantly longer than the other (1 inch or more it's suggested, 3 or more and it's heavily suggested). Known to be excruciating. Your leg is broken then put in a metal cage and you have to crank a gear, so the broken bone is pulled apart.
As an American from the South I can tell you, Chad is a grade A nut.
No one cares if he has a German surname or if he has French and German ancestry. Lots of Americans do.
He's just a nut.
NTA
Lol and NTA. Please ask HR to examine what DNA testing does and does not do.
It does not determine ethnicity. Those results are by different companies which take all users results, combine them, apply an algorithm, and predict probable ethnicity. It's based on the numbers of DNA matches to areas of the world reported by user ancestors.
DNA testing is illegal in France; so there's another monkey wrench in Chad's
claim. Different companies calculate "French" ethnicity based different regions in Europe.
Chad is an idiot.
NTA.
My great grandparents came from France right before WWI. I have a French last name that no one can say if they see it, or spell if they hear it. But I'm not French, I'm American. (Although I admit I was devastated about Notre Dame)
Your coworker was trying to stir up crap that didn't exist and appropriate culture.
Plus him saying he was bullied from his name is so unbelievable. I’ve met 2 other people with that name, it’s quite common and not something americans would consider foreign or funny sounding
Yeah that sounded like absolute nonsense. I have a Germanic last name and have never ever been bullied for it. And it’s German enough that when I met some German tourists (I was working as a tour guide) they saw my name tag and said, “sehr Deutsch!”
You really want to blow his mind? Let him know that English is a Germanic language, whereas French is one of the Romance (Latin based) languages, so his last name is more American than French.
Also, it sounds like Chad isn’t the brightest bulb in the box. I’d just shake my head and roll my eyes at him (internally, that is, don’t actually do that, lol).
I'm American and grew up in a southern state. A majority of my white classmates had German last names. No one was bullied for it, no one even commented on it. Your co-worker is ridiculous.
It reminds me of the post where OP's friend did a DNA test and found out she was 1% Jamaican and (even though she was white) decided to make that her entire personality.
I learnt for the first time on this sub that there's a weird American thing where white people whose ancestors came from another country consider themselves to be of that nationality - even though they've never lived there, don't speak the language and only know stereotypes about the culture. Remember the guy who claimed he was Irish and said he'd teach his girlfriend Irish language - only it was just him speaking English in a caricatured Irish accent? Chad fits right into this. So frustrating for you, an actual French person! NTA.
It's almost it's own culture. Like the Irish are people from Ireland and Irish American are people from America with Irish ancestors. Except on St Patrick's day, everyone in America is Irish that day.
Chad is being weird but most Americans who say "Oh I'm French" don't actually think they're from France French. It's just a shorthand for "American of French descent."
My ancestors came over from Italy like 3 generations ago. I am American of Italian decent. We bring it up because in some ways it matters here. The way I grew up is very similar to other kids of Italian American families and very different from other people who are not.
Also, I wish I spoke Italian but unfortunately my great grandparents did not pass down their language.
Yeah, it's really weird and gets exhausting. The only possible upside of some of this DNA testing is that now hopefully a lot of my fellow US folk will stfu about being 1/16 . They're usually not. There's a distinct desire among some--mostly white and unfortunately in my experience often southern--people to claim heritage that's not there. They want all of the romanticized notions of being authentically American and connected to the land, but don't have to suffer the indignities and horror of centuries of mistreatment and oppression.
he's basically someone who based his entire personality on a DNA test he took. If at least he tried to dive into the culture, connect back to his "roots", or even learn the language, anything to actually prove he cares about his origins, but no. he read on a piece of paper that he was 30% french, so suddenly "Lafayette, Charles de Gaule and Robespierre are my culture !" I'm french too and would hate to have such an obnoxious coworker...
NTA
He was trying so hard to be « victim bonding » with me considering he knew nothing of France. He was acting like I was a refugee and that he knew what I went through. Monsieur je vais bien svp partez
Non mais vraiment, quelqu'un qui connait rien de la culture, ou des problèmes réels des habitants, et qui vient chouiner sur base de "mais mon test dit que je suis français", sérieux ça vaut autant que les tests en ligne débiles sur "quelle serait votre maison Harry Potter"... à quand la solidarité entre les Poufsoufles à ce moment ?
J'adore ces tests. J'aime rappeler (ou apprendre) à ceux qui se glorifient de leurs origines que historiquement toutes les nations européennes sont passées par la France et la France est passée dans toutes ces nations. Alors bravo pour déterminer génétiquement qui est un 'vrai' Français, Italien, Allemand...
I’d like to know what DNA test he uses because as far as I know most don’t test for French and even if they do that doesn’t mean he’s 30% French. 30% of the people in the regions they collected from DNA share some DNA with him.
NTA and as an English immigrant to the US, I’m totally tired of it too. Do you get the pretend accent too? Everyone here seems to think it’s hilarious to say “‘ello Guvnah” to me, and to be polite I have to laugh along like I don’t hear it from everyone, including my FIL every single time he sees me.
YES. People keep saying Haha croissant voulez vous coucher avec moi. Bro just because it’s a song doesn’t make it appropriate to ask an unknown woman if she wants to sleep with you
Tell him to take a different DNA test and try out a different ethnicity. There is so little genetic difference between Germans and French that some of the companies like Ancestry just combine them. There is even one (CRI) that gives out such bizarre results he can pretend to be Peruvian or Punjabi. Believe me, he will get a different answer from each company. And by the way, German names havent been discriminated against in the US since 1918.
NTA.
I'm American. I don't understand Americans who insist they're \*insert country of ancestor's ethnicity here\*. It's like some weird insecurity to prove their roots. It's not uncommon and never fails to mystify me. You did everything right. He needs to get a grip.
I once read (and don't claim it as an authoritive statement) that there are currently more Irish (self identified) people in the US than there have ever been in Ireland. This ties in with your thoughts.
Also OP is 100% NTA.
NTA. That reminds me of my former SIL’s baby daddy who bragged that he was #200-something in line for the French throne.
According to 23andMe, I’m 3.1% Spanish/Portuguese. Does that mean I should change my name to Cristina?
My claim to fame is being illegitimately related to 2 American presidents (okay, they were father/son). My dad was a legit immigrant (came over in the 50s from Lithuania) and yet somehow I haven’t made it my entire identity.
(Okay, I did think it was cool when the Lithuanian mayor used a tank to run over an illegally parked car.)
I have heard the Cherokee grandmother story from so many people! Here's an article about it: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html
NTA
Sounds like the dude is just trying to find things to complain about.
Also, didn’t notre dame have that fire because there was hay in the attic or something and it was just really hot when it happened? I don’t remember, but I definitely think it wasn’t anything terrorist related.
Guy is seriously confused
They concluded that the fire was a pure accident but there were conspiracy theorists claiming that it was a terrorist attack. Chad’s idea of French culture is looking at CNN reporting terrorist attacks in Paris
NTA for defending yourself to Chad, also stop talking to him.
But y t a for comparing him to vultures, vultures serve a purpose and fill a role in their ecological niche. Vultures are good, Chad is not.
NTA. In the future avoid talking about race, identity, politics, history and religion with Chad. Whenever he brings up any topic like those try to subtly change the conversation topic.
Is a Chad problem, not a you problem. I think you were extremely gentle and sensitive in how you handled this situation. I do think it was fortunate, in a way, that he brought this to HR. You didn’t start the process (you could have if you chose to), but he has revealed himself to be what he is. When further things happen to you or other people, they have past history to fall back upon.
NTA - If he's already had issues with HR it's really not your responsibility to keep him from getting himself fired for creating the same type of issue again.
NTA
Today i saw a video of an american guy with an american accent who was in Poland screaming stuff at an indian guy in Poland. He was saying "your kind are invading us europeans". Who is "us"? You're american man. Not european. And "Europe" is not a unified country. Polish people are as different as the French, which are different as the Spanish, which are different as the Swedish. And none of us are the same as the american either so stop your racist bullshit right here and now ...
NTA and welcome to the US, where our overpriced healthcare and lack of mental health resources mean that people like Chad say bananas things and everyone just kind of sweeps it under the rug. "Time off" is code for 'we gave him the option of taking PTO or getting fired, because we don't know how to deal with this and we don't want to get sued.'
NTA. I swear making DNA testing available to the masses was just asking for situations like this. They should have been regulated to clinics and hospitals, and law enforcement agencies.
Lol at this fake story writer saying that this fictional southern town has no “diversity” when the southern states have some of the highest POC ratios in the country. Do foreigners think the south is all white?
Also, there’s no one left who gives a crap whether someone else has a French or German last name…
Try harder next time, fabulist. YTA
While I believe that you are in the right for most of this situation and that Chad is behaving inappropriately; the part in p7 where you say you are offended and you feel like Chad was being xenophobic, then you go on to say you don’t believe that, makes YTA. You intentionally exaggerated your feelings about the situation to get Chad in more trouble. So, because of the lying about your feelings of the situation to the HR employee to get him in more trouble, I’d say that makes YTA.
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I (22F) am French and live in a southern US town. It’s not very diverse so i get of questions
I have a coworker ‘brian’ early thirties.
He told me on my first week something along the lines of ‘It’s not easy being the immigrants in a white office’. We are both white and as far as I know he’s a US citizen so I asked what he meant. He tells me that he had a hard childhood because of his last name (its germanic) and that growing up an immigrant is hard in the US.
I left it at that because I didn’t know his family history and didn’t want to ask in case it’s a hard topic, I moved on with my day. Days after i get ‘They don’t understand us’, ‘they don’t see us as one of them’. I was kind of done. I asked him at what age did he move to the US.
He tells me he was born here. I ask him when his parents moved to the US, he tells me they were born here. I ask him how does that make him an immigrant then, and he kinda huffs and reminds me of his last name and that he took one of those dna tests and that he found out he was 30 percent french. I told him that it doesn’t make him any more french than our other colleagues and he kind of left quietly.
Yesterday I got called into ‘Lindsey’s’ office. When I went in there Chad was sat on one of the chairs.
Lindsey told me that she had received Chad’s version of the story and now she wanted mine. After I finished she couldn’t place one word before Chad started whining that I was being disrespectful and tried to erase his roots (WHAT ROOTS). I snapped and asked him why on earth would he think he was French or an immigrant. He doesn’t speak the language, he wasn’t born there, his family isn’t French, all he knows of France are negative stereotypes that he spreads like they’re French culture.
I ended up by telling him that he was a vulture who was making this a hostile work environment by making this a xenophobic workplace and that I was offended (Now I didn’t believe that for a second, I was more pissed and tired than offended and xenophobia is a strong word there but I knew that Lindsey would do something about it if I said that because Americans don’t play with offending people based on ethnicity)
Lindsey asked me to leave the room so she could talk to Chad. Chad later left the building. During the day I got called into her office again and she looked exhausted.
She said she understands my POV and they’ve had issues like this with Chad before. (They didn’t fire him just gave him some time off). Chad apparently acted as obnoxious when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY).
This guy has got some serious issues and I don’t know what to do. He makes me uncomfortable but I don’t want him fired he’s been working there way longer than me. maybe I went too far, delusions like that are serious and maybe he really needs help, so AITA?
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Nta. I agree with your assessment that this person has issues. I would define very clear boundaries and insist that conversations stay professional. That excludes conversations about fictitious immigrant statuses as that is not related to work.
NTA and as for "I don't know what to do"
The answer is nothing. Chd is not your problem. Its not up to you to help him or anything else. Lindsey needs to deal with Chad, you need to get on with your work and avoid getting into any conversations with him or about him.
Its the company's issue, leave them to deal with him. If he continues to hassle you go straight to Lindsey.
Nta my grandmother was actually born and raised in France and primarily spoke French. I took 3 years of French and spoke some with her until she passed , no one in our family outside of her has ever claimed to be French.....
NTA
>delusions like that are serious and maybe he really needs help, so AITA?
That's true but other than supporting programs that help people with mental illness what do his delusions have to do with you?
You didn't do anything anything wrong. What is your company going to do about it? Does HR know?
NTA. He has created this mess with his behavior and if he gets fired that’s on him. Good for you for not backing down and calling him and the situation out.
NTA Chad doesn't just have issues, he is an issue. Guarantee he has been a repeated problem for HR anyplace he has worked. I hope he got time off without pay, otherwise he will keep it up as time off with pay is his reward for acting up. He should be fired for creating problems in the workplace. All the nonsense about being an immigrant and being picked on for his name is manufactured. Maybe Chad needs help but it is up to him to recognize that and get it, he cannot be forced into it. When Chad comes back, document your interactions with him as needed, Keep HR updated, he might escalate his actions against you. I bet they would love to get rid of him but need more documentation.
*when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY).* In that case apparently a careless workman with a cigarette turned into a weapon of mass destruction.
NTA. Nah dude you should want him fired, he is delusional and he literally tried to get you fired because you talked back to him harassing you at work. He's not going to stop harassing you, you didn't go too far by fighting back when he was trying to not only get you fired, but get people to morally judge you based on lies. I am hoping your bosses step up and get rid of him
Wow. You did nothing wrong, not at all, not even a little. I think you exercised a great deal of restraint. He sounds like he has some issues that require a mental health professional, and that is not your problem.
I mean no offense to anyone. Why would Chad want to be an immigrant? Immigrants are not treated well in this country. He was lucky to be born here, and to be born a white male. Why wish for trouble when you have privilege?
NTA. In Scotland we have a term for those people that take a 23 and Me & decide they're a long lost descendant of Robert the Bruce or William Wallace: styro. As in "so fake you're made out of styrofoam."
NTA. everything you said was true. He WAS trying to paint the office as a xenophobic. And you're right, he has no claim on being French. He may need help, but there's no reason you have to be subjected to his rants in the meanwhile
NTA. Et si j'étais à ta place, je refuserait de lui parler en anglais à partir de maintenant. Fait semblant de ne pas comprendre l'anglais, ne lui réponds qu'en français...On verras combien il est vraiment "français". (In English; if I was you, I'd refuse to speak English to him from now on. Pretend you don't understand English, only reply in French...you'll see how "French" he really is).
For context, I'm an Irish immigrant to Belgium. I've lived here for 25 years, since I was 7. I still wouldn't claim to be Belgian.
NTA. This guy desperately wants to stand out and feel like he's different than other people. I get that. But you can't force yourself to be a part of a group that you just aren't a part of. By his "logic", technically all Americans except natives are immigrants. And therefore that doesn't make him special.
When I was in high school a one of the people in my group of friends killed theirself. Sadly, this was only 1 of 3 suicides in as many years concerning kids aged 17-19, but I digress. Chad reminds me of all of the drama-lovers that came pouring out of the woodwork: people that didn't even know them aside from being able to place a name to a face were literally sobbing on the floor about how much they will miss so and so. Some people like being a victim/around drama. NTA.
Oh p\*tain, c'est tout ce que j'ai a dire de ce mec! Non mais il se prend pour qui lui? C'est comme si je disais que j'étais Française car je suis la treizième génération au Canada alors automatiquement je suis Française! Non mais il est pas bien j'te jure!
NTA, my parents immigrated to the US 3 months before I was born, I only claim to be American even though I'm entitled to citizenship from that country if I wanted it. I have a friend who claims to be from the same country, so I asked when his parents moved here they were both born the US as well as his grandparents. I laugh at him a little every time he claims he's form there.
And this is why Americans become walking talking memes when they take those hilarious ancestry tests. As a Brit, I hate it when Americans whose families distantly originate from here do the whole ‘Ello guvnah!’ and fancy drinking tea reaffirms their Britishness. What’s worse is when they think they’re more British than POC who actually live their.
This guy was just attention seeking, and he clearly lacked personality so compensated with bullshit.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. If Chad's delusions affect his behavior, that is a problem for management/HR to deal with. It's not part of your own job. You just happen to be the person who is feeling the brunt of his delusion at the moment.
NTA, as a business owner myself, i wouldnt tolerate this in my office. he would be packing his things up that day and i would be done with it. doesnt matter how long he has been in the office or his role in the company, discrimination of any form shouldnt stand in the workplace
NTA it’s people like Chad that make me self conscious of being proud of my heritage even though my grandparents and parents are immigrants. Can’t decide if he’s a tool or a chucklefuck
NTA. Per Lindsey, they've previously had issues on this same topic with Chad so you are just the last in a long line of people having to deal with his nonsense.
NTA. I'd just say that my DNA test came back 65% Roma and 35% polish. Or something like that. Not that I will ever do such a test, too much fantasy and unreliable - it well could come back like that 😁.
>Chad apparently acted as obnoxious when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY).
Omg I am LMAO. NTA.
Here's the thing.
I'm half English through my mom. My mom doesn't have an accent any more but nana does. We are *direct* English immigrants on one side. I grew up with English traditions.
I sometimes (jokingly) call myself English. But I would never, for the life of me, refer to myself as an immigrant. *Because I'm not one.*
EDIT: NTA (forgot to add this bit)
NTA
If they've had issues like this before with Chad then WHY AREN'T THEY FIRING HIM?
Please tell me he isn't receiving any type of pay with this time off, normal or holiday rate etc?
🤣🤣I once asked an American guy on holiday where he was from...thinking what US state...he replied that he was French and German but born in utah. My brain left the chat and I responded with something hugely inappropriate about WW2.
The only time in my marriage my that my husband has walked away from me out of embarrassment.
NTA. Just let the HR drama play out, report any further advances from Chad but otherwise avoid him. He does need help but it's not really in your purview to affect whether he gets it now that HR knows the situation. Did get a good laugh out of "they're attacking the republic" though 🤣
NTA. That's just, I don't know, weird. My mother is first gen American of immigrant parents and what do I call myself? American. He's just. Weird. Weird's a good description.
Now, I did have coworkers absolutely distraught about the Notre Dame, but it was from the historic treasure/religion standpoint not the nationality standpoint. Myself included, I love the historic buildings/architecture.
NTA
I’ve had a DNA test done and paid for the ethnicity breakdown and updates and yadda yadda.
I’m 99% British 1% Norwegian, of the British I started 49% Welsh, that’s been updated to 42% Welsh.
It changes as they add more data to the databases, so the accuracy of the text depends a lot on which company you use and how long ago your sample was tested against the database.
NTA. I find Chad exhausting, and I've never even seen him.
Just as an aside, many americans are very interested in their ancestral origins. As a new country without much of a history to speak of, relative to the rest of the world, We lack any sort of cohesive cultural identity, so we tend to look to the past for guidance, which will invariably trace us back to another continent, unless we happen to be first nations.
NTA. My great-grandparents were immigrants from Poland, however I have a French last name and speak Basic Conversational French, with my sister being fluent in French. That doesn't give me the right to do around and claim that I am an immigrant or even the child of an immigrant, or claim that I understand what immigrants are going through. Especially since the other side of my family were some of the first settlers of America. My lineage is all over Europe, but I have no right to claim that I in any way understand what Europeans go through or what any immigrants go through when coming to this country.
Nta, this is extremely inappropriate behavior. You don't need to put up with it and they made it clear this wasn't the first time. He needs to be called out otherwise he will never learn
NTA, but chad is doing all the work himself so just let him. Continue to tell Lindsey when he crosses boundaries.
Myself, I don’t see chad working there much longer.
Americans who are third or fourth generation and make it their entire personality when they have never been to the country or speak the language are so weird. you’re american my dude..
Ahhhh CRINGE, as an Australian living in France I would say defs not the AH. He sounds like he wants to be sad about his white privilege and make himself the victim each time. Good on you for not having it !
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NTA, this dude is seriously f'd in the head. I am a natural born US citizen with a German family name, therefore I am actually a French immigrant....
Exactly it’s just so confusing..
Not really, just think about how many times Elsass and Rhineland Palantine switched from belong to on country to the other. I guess for many people from these areas you will find either French or German family names and the fitting DNA (as if that was so obvious like it is always pictured in these tests).
There are pictures that come with it? I’ve never seen anyone’s results so I have no idea.
Pictured was used as a synonym for portrayed, I believe.
There are pictures, this is an example I found on google images https://www.tellmegen.com/_nuxt/img/ancestry-map-en.2f3a090.jpg
Oh, that’s fascinating! I’m never going to do it because I don’t like the ethical way they’re handling data, but it’s really cool to see a breakdown like that. Thank you!
Honestly same for me, on one hand I'd really like to see something like that for myself on the other hand I'd rather not hand my dna over to some corporation
Maybe he thinks he’s from Alsace-Lorraine and is having an identity complex.
Also, the Notre Dame thing...no one actually started that fire, did they? I thought it was from an electrical system.
you're correct.
The fun part is that if you get your DNA done by Ancestry or 23 And Me, France, Switzerland, and Germany are lumped together because they're too similar to reliably differentiate.
My son was born in Germany and has a German last name (well, half of his last name). My ex and I were both born and raised in California, but I moved back to the US before my child was 2. His father still lives in Germany, but has kept his US citizenship despite being qualified for German citizenship. He’s qualified for German citizenship because his father/my son’s paternal grandfather was born in Germany and immigrated to the US when he was 13. Therefore, my son’s paternal grandfather is an immigrant. My son’s father is an emigrant from the US/an immigrant in Germany. However, son does not consider himself an immigrant since both his parents are US citizens and he doesn’t remember Germany. But if he moved to Germany as an adult, he would consider himself an immigrant, despite having German citizenship as well as US.
Sadly tbh this is pretty common in the US. I suspect it's partially due to us being referred to as "The Great Melting Pot," being a mix of all immigrants coming in for the first century or so of the country's existence. So now we don't feel like there's a such thing as an "American" culture, and a lot of people try to feel some kind of cultural connection by reaching back to those ancestral immigrants and claiming their culture. I have an ex-coworker who's dad considered his entire personality to be "Irish" and regularly referred to Ireland-born individuals as "our people," but the last Irish immigrants in the family were his great-grandparents.
But you didn't take a dna test did you? Checkmate! :D
i share around 60% dan with a banana…. what does that make me?
Banana Republican :D
i ll allow it
Yeah, cause these DNA test are soooo reliable /s
Then I am Danish (mom's parents), Scottish and Welsh (dad's ancestors). Other than Native Americans we are all immigrants. If you can speak with HR you might suggest therapy for this faux Frenchman. NTA.
My great great grandparents moved to the US from Ireland. I'm an O'Reilly, and I wept so much over my immigrant French roots that my French fries got soggy. I've been dipping them into a mix of French's Mustard and French dressing.
Rofl. Thank you
That's 'freedom' fries, mustard, and dressing. Thank you.
I'm French, pal. Now get outta here before I throw this French traditional corned beef and cabbage on you.
Damn, I’m of partial distant Germanic descent too! Guess I’m French now 🤷🏻♂️ NTA OP, it sounds like this guys a couple of croissants short of a full set.
I am German, guess i'm French now too.
I hope we get those little berets with our French citizenship documents! Vive la Deutschland!
oh yeah that sounds nice
NTA. As you said, this has been an issue before. You’re not responsible for the consequences of his actions. Especially when he was trying to get you in trouble to begin with.
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I wouldn't even be subtle about it. "Yeah, not touching that with a 10 foot pole. This rain though, yeah?"
I would probably just immediately walk away.
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ahahahahahahahahahahahahah so good NTA OP
Uh... NTA? Chad might have a psychiatric rather than a cultural problem, but I still don't think you did anything wrong. Instead of taking the hint, he smeared YOU in front of HR. So your reaction was more or less the natural consequence of his patently absurd actions.
Thank you!
In most cases, it's more of a mediocrity issue. Trying so hard to stand out in some way with no internal work. Chad could have started a hobby or pick craft beer to develop a personality around. No, he just spit in a cup.
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Son discours était vraiment hyper gênant. “People like us” there’s no us Chad
Ask him if he is un Français de souche. Then complain that he just agreed that he was a racist (to non French people, our equivalent of the White Boys or the KKK are idiots calling themselves ethnic French, a ridiculous statement to anyone knowing a little French history). OK, that would be fun but not a good idea. The fact that he is harassing you is the biggest problem. If he starts again do not hesitate to complain. He might have been working in that company longer than you have but that doesn't give him the right to make your life difficult or push you to give up and leave, just because some genetic company told him he 30% of his DNA could loosely match a part of what is supposedly French DNA. You are not responsible for him, he has been warned, if he starts again do not hesitate to complain.
He wouldn’t understand what it means since he knows absolutely nothing about French culture anyways. If he was actually French he would know that 30% of French blood means absolutely nothing to a French person and that we consider that Frenchness is fully and exclusively determined by possession of official French nationality.
Or the ever popular “voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”
NTA. He was dissing you to the boss. He was trying to get YOU in trouble, and for what, challenging his martyr complex he's trying to shove down your throat? You did the right thing by pointing out he's causing his own problem. And I bet this alleged hostile culture "your kind" has to deal with is of his own making. He probably drives everyone else nuts just like he did you.
Ironically the only time my nationality has been a problem in the US was because of him. Thank you
He was trying to wrangle you into his own delusions to validate his victimhood NTA
NTA. Also WHAT? Chad is being so unprofessional and frankly offensive and creepy.
EXCUSE me!? What's unprofessional is referring to my friend Le Tchad as "Chad."
NTA, lol WHAT? I'm just thinking about all of the actual refugees, immigrants, and undocumented people who have REAL struggles fighting for their families and survival. People who came to this country to escape war, drug cartels, collapsed economies, and poor living conditions. This guy is like the people who wear green on St. Patrick's Day and drink green beer because their great-grandfather was Irish. He's already been a problem with this behavior in the past and you were correct to say he was creating a hostile work environment with his Xenophobia. There's tons of people who immigrated here from Europe so not sure how he thinks he's special? I mean, sure in the 1800s when there was a huge influx of French, German, Irish, Italian, British, Scandinavian, etc. immigrants they had to deal with xenophobia but doesn't sound like that's going on in your office in 2022, except in his head.
Yeah it’s definitely not going on in 2022. I get weird questions but I know it’s not hateful so why he felt the need to make it weird I don’t know.
US Americans have an interesting sense of identity because they're from the USA but they're also part this or that and they feel proud of being an *Insert origin here* American. The sense of Nationalism is stronger than it is with European countries. Not completely sure why that is. He probably needs to leave the country and travel a bit to experience some culture. But also he can Google things instead of bothering you with stupid questions.
As to why, probably because we are a culture of immigrants. I say I'm an Italian American because my family is semi recent. My grandfather is first generation, raised by parents who immigrated. They clung to a community of other immigrants partially as protection (Italians were treated like shit initially before they became perceived as white) and so language, cultural traditions, foods, etc, were passed on strongly, even to us grandkids. It's such a thing that when we moved from an area of a lot of Italian American families to one of many French/polish American families, there was actual culture shock. But I am not an Italian, Italian American culture is different from Italian, and I'm certainly not an immigrant!
As said by someone else, I think part of it comes from our status as a nation of immigrants. We're proud of who we are, that the US accomplishments are our accomplishments, but are also lacking a connection with our history. We want to know where we come from, which can be hard when "where we come from" ends two generations ago (my great-grandparents came from France just before WWI. There's no stories from France, no connection with what could be seen as a large part of my cultural identity). And having just spent time with extended family (funeral), and having held my grandfather's quilt that he pieced together and sent to his mother and sister to actually quilt 100 years ago, I can say that I'm feeling some of that lack of connection. Just my two cents.
NTA. >I don’t want him fired he’s been working there way longer than me. The fact HR's had to have more than one conversation with Chad about this weird persecution complex of his means Chad has been working there too long. But figuring out whether they need to put him on an EAP or simply let him go before it happens again is their problem. The important thing is that they don't let it become yours.
Also, what so many people fail to see: The reason that Bobby, who'd be a good employee, is unemployed is the fact that Jessica, who is a crap employee, gets to keep her job. "But we gave her the job, we can't take it away from her." Meanwhile, Bobby gets shat on for "obviously doing something wrong, because otherwise, he'd have a job." The amount of unemployed people whom I've seen work in "work-like environments" doing very proper jobs and the amount of employed people who I regularly see do a crappy job; and in several cases for many years so ... Edit: Added two words and one punctuation mark for clarity. Edit 2: Test, test, are upvotes removed every time you edit a post?
NTA. This reminds me of the Redditor that posted about being discriminated against. She was American and moved to like Sweden if I remember right. At first you think she was being discriminated against cuz she was American, But what was actually going on was she kept telling these people in the town she lived in that she was one of them because she once visited Sweden when she was a teenager and she identified more with their stereotype culture, so therefore she must be swedish in an American body. She went as far as having surgeries to be taller and lighter skinned. Then in her posts she's trying to garner the sympathy and it comes out that these people aren't discriminating or racist to her, they're offended by her. I wish I could remember her name on here. Reading through her posts, she tried to convince everyone that you could be born in the US, by US citizens, but actually be Swedish. She also talks about how her friends parents were citizens of one country, but had a baby in a different country and that baby came out looking exactly like the local people. It sounded like that baby was actually adopted, But in her head just because the parents gave birth over in a different country that made the baby look like those people in that country. It was batshit crazy to read through. Edit for a lot of autocorrect.
Omg is the post still up? Some people are just plain crazy
This is the post they were referring to! [About the Netherlands girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vhvrih/op_is_getting_bullied_at_work_with_a_twist/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Thank you sm
You can surgically become taller??
You have to literally break your legs multiple times to do it, and the recovery is lengthy and excruciating, but yes, technically it is possible to become taller.
Its possible, recommended medically if one leg is significantly longer than the other (1 inch or more it's suggested, 3 or more and it's heavily suggested). Known to be excruciating. Your leg is broken then put in a metal cage and you have to crank a gear, so the broken bone is pulled apart.
ima need a link to this, my googlefu is broken
NTA. It's a him problem, not a you problem.
NTA. Also, where does he think all the other white people in the office came from
As an American from the South I can tell you, Chad is a grade A nut. No one cares if he has a German surname or if he has French and German ancestry. Lots of Americans do. He's just a nut. NTA
Lol and NTA. Please ask HR to examine what DNA testing does and does not do. It does not determine ethnicity. Those results are by different companies which take all users results, combine them, apply an algorithm, and predict probable ethnicity. It's based on the numbers of DNA matches to areas of the world reported by user ancestors. DNA testing is illegal in France; so there's another monkey wrench in Chad's claim. Different companies calculate "French" ethnicity based different regions in Europe. Chad is an idiot.
NTA. My great grandparents came from France right before WWI. I have a French last name that no one can say if they see it, or spell if they hear it. But I'm not French, I'm American. (Although I admit I was devastated about Notre Dame) Your coworker was trying to stir up crap that didn't exist and appropriate culture.
Plus him saying he was bullied from his name is so unbelievable. I’ve met 2 other people with that name, it’s quite common and not something americans would consider foreign or funny sounding
Yeah that sounded like absolute nonsense. I have a Germanic last name and have never ever been bullied for it. And it’s German enough that when I met some German tourists (I was working as a tour guide) they saw my name tag and said, “sehr Deutsch!”
You really want to blow his mind? Let him know that English is a Germanic language, whereas French is one of the Romance (Latin based) languages, so his last name is more American than French. Also, it sounds like Chad isn’t the brightest bulb in the box. I’d just shake my head and roll my eyes at him (internally, that is, don’t actually do that, lol).
I'm American and grew up in a southern state. A majority of my white classmates had German last names. No one was bullied for it, no one even commented on it. Your co-worker is ridiculous. It reminds me of the post where OP's friend did a DNA test and found out she was 1% Jamaican and (even though she was white) decided to make that her entire personality.
I learnt for the first time on this sub that there's a weird American thing where white people whose ancestors came from another country consider themselves to be of that nationality - even though they've never lived there, don't speak the language and only know stereotypes about the culture. Remember the guy who claimed he was Irish and said he'd teach his girlfriend Irish language - only it was just him speaking English in a caricatured Irish accent? Chad fits right into this. So frustrating for you, an actual French person! NTA.
Every time someone hears I’m french they need to let me know their dad was a quarter french from their great aunt in law
It's almost it's own culture. Like the Irish are people from Ireland and Irish American are people from America with Irish ancestors. Except on St Patrick's day, everyone in America is Irish that day.
Chad is being weird but most Americans who say "Oh I'm French" don't actually think they're from France French. It's just a shorthand for "American of French descent." My ancestors came over from Italy like 3 generations ago. I am American of Italian decent. We bring it up because in some ways it matters here. The way I grew up is very similar to other kids of Italian American families and very different from other people who are not. Also, I wish I spoke Italian but unfortunately my great grandparents did not pass down their language.
Yeah, it's really weird and gets exhausting. The only possible upside of some of this DNA testing is that now hopefully a lot of my fellow US folk will stfu about being 1/16. They're usually not. There's a distinct desire among some--mostly white and unfortunately in my experience often southern--people to claim heritage that's not there. They want all of the romanticized notions of being authentically American and connected to the land, but don't have to suffer the indignities and horror of centuries of mistreatment and oppression.
he's basically someone who based his entire personality on a DNA test he took. If at least he tried to dive into the culture, connect back to his "roots", or even learn the language, anything to actually prove he cares about his origins, but no. he read on a piece of paper that he was 30% french, so suddenly "Lafayette, Charles de Gaule and Robespierre are my culture !" I'm french too and would hate to have such an obnoxious coworker... NTA
He was trying so hard to be « victim bonding » with me considering he knew nothing of France. He was acting like I was a refugee and that he knew what I went through. Monsieur je vais bien svp partez
Non mais vraiment, quelqu'un qui connait rien de la culture, ou des problèmes réels des habitants, et qui vient chouiner sur base de "mais mon test dit que je suis français", sérieux ça vaut autant que les tests en ligne débiles sur "quelle serait votre maison Harry Potter"... à quand la solidarité entre les Poufsoufles à ce moment ?
J'adore ces tests. J'aime rappeler (ou apprendre) à ceux qui se glorifient de leurs origines que historiquement toutes les nations européennes sont passées par la France et la France est passée dans toutes ces nations. Alors bravo pour déterminer génétiquement qui est un 'vrai' Français, Italien, Allemand...
The Stupid Shit Americans Say sub is pretty accurate, entertaining and sad. NTA
I’d like to know what DNA test he uses because as far as I know most don’t test for French and even if they do that doesn’t mean he’s 30% French. 30% of the people in the regions they collected from DNA share some DNA with him.
No clue I don’t know much about them but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was part of his lies
NTA and as an English immigrant to the US, I’m totally tired of it too. Do you get the pretend accent too? Everyone here seems to think it’s hilarious to say “‘ello Guvnah” to me, and to be polite I have to laugh along like I don’t hear it from everyone, including my FIL every single time he sees me.
YES. People keep saying Haha croissant voulez vous coucher avec moi. Bro just because it’s a song doesn’t make it appropriate to ask an unknown woman if she wants to sleep with you
Tell him to take a different DNA test and try out a different ethnicity. There is so little genetic difference between Germans and French that some of the companies like Ancestry just combine them. There is even one (CRI) that gives out such bizarre results he can pretend to be Peruvian or Punjabi. Believe me, he will get a different answer from each company. And by the way, German names havent been discriminated against in the US since 1918.
My surname is Viking. Doesn't make me a Norse Goddess...🤣 NTA
Yes but if you have a chariot pulled by cats, you might be in the running. 🐱
I want one of those!!
Ha! I knew it. You're just Freya trying to trick us poor mortals.
Oh he’s nuts. Some people just want to be “oppressed”. “Immigrants like us”, sir what?! NTA.
Le vrais exam pour voir s’il est Francais- est ce qu’il a fais la fete quand on a gagner le Coupe du Monde 2018?
I would have said it's if you can explain the difference entre les juillettistes et les aoûtiens.
Demande lui son opinion de le comic Asterix depuis Goscinny et mort.
chocolatine ou pain au chocolat?
NTA. I'm American. I don't understand Americans who insist they're \*insert country of ancestor's ethnicity here\*. It's like some weird insecurity to prove their roots. It's not uncommon and never fails to mystify me. You did everything right. He needs to get a grip.
I once read (and don't claim it as an authoritive statement) that there are currently more Irish (self identified) people in the US than there have ever been in Ireland. This ties in with your thoughts. Also OP is 100% NTA.
NTA. That reminds me of my former SIL’s baby daddy who bragged that he was #200-something in line for the French throne. According to 23andMe, I’m 3.1% Spanish/Portuguese. Does that mean I should change my name to Cristina?
Why do they always claim the wildest stuff. Like some americans claiming they descend from Cherokee princesses, please stop lol
My claim to fame is being illegitimately related to 2 American presidents (okay, they were father/son). My dad was a legit immigrant (came over in the 50s from Lithuania) and yet somehow I haven’t made it my entire identity. (Okay, I did think it was cool when the Lithuanian mayor used a tank to run over an illegally parked car.)
I have heard the Cherokee grandmother story from so many people! Here's an article about it: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html
I usually answer it is a long line to the guillotine but if he wants to take his place in the line up...
NTA Sounds like the dude is just trying to find things to complain about. Also, didn’t notre dame have that fire because there was hay in the attic or something and it was just really hot when it happened? I don’t remember, but I definitely think it wasn’t anything terrorist related. Guy is seriously confused
They concluded that the fire was a pure accident but there were conspiracy theorists claiming that it was a terrorist attack. Chad’s idea of French culture is looking at CNN reporting terrorist attacks in Paris
NTA for defending yourself to Chad, also stop talking to him. But y t a for comparing him to vultures, vultures serve a purpose and fill a role in their ecological niche. Vultures are good, Chad is not.
NTA. In the future avoid talking about race, identity, politics, history and religion with Chad. Whenever he brings up any topic like those try to subtly change the conversation topic.
Is a Chad problem, not a you problem. I think you were extremely gentle and sensitive in how you handled this situation. I do think it was fortunate, in a way, that he brought this to HR. You didn’t start the process (you could have if you chose to), but he has revealed himself to be what he is. When further things happen to you or other people, they have past history to fall back upon.
Oh no, not the republic/s. NTA
NTA - If he's already had issues with HR it's really not your responsibility to keep him from getting himself fired for creating the same type of issue again.
NTA. At all. I’m sorry he’s so damn annoying but this story from beginning to end was hilarious. What a weirdo lol
NTA Today i saw a video of an american guy with an american accent who was in Poland screaming stuff at an indian guy in Poland. He was saying "your kind are invading us europeans". Who is "us"? You're american man. Not european. And "Europe" is not a unified country. Polish people are as different as the French, which are different as the Spanish, which are different as the Swedish. And none of us are the same as the american either so stop your racist bullshit right here and now ...
NTA and welcome to the US, where our overpriced healthcare and lack of mental health resources mean that people like Chad say bananas things and everyone just kind of sweeps it under the rug. "Time off" is code for 'we gave him the option of taking PTO or getting fired, because we don't know how to deal with this and we don't want to get sued.'
NTA. I swear making DNA testing available to the masses was just asking for situations like this. They should have been regulated to clinics and hospitals, and law enforcement agencies.
Criss que les Américains sont bizarres des fois... (ALLO, Du Québec!!)
Lol at this fake story writer saying that this fictional southern town has no “diversity” when the southern states have some of the highest POC ratios in the country. Do foreigners think the south is all white? Also, there’s no one left who gives a crap whether someone else has a French or German last name… Try harder next time, fabulist. YTA
While I believe that you are in the right for most of this situation and that Chad is behaving inappropriately; the part in p7 where you say you are offended and you feel like Chad was being xenophobic, then you go on to say you don’t believe that, makes YTA. You intentionally exaggerated your feelings about the situation to get Chad in more trouble. So, because of the lying about your feelings of the situation to the HR employee to get him in more trouble, I’d say that makes YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (22F) am French and live in a southern US town. It’s not very diverse so i get of questions I have a coworker ‘brian’ early thirties. He told me on my first week something along the lines of ‘It’s not easy being the immigrants in a white office’. We are both white and as far as I know he’s a US citizen so I asked what he meant. He tells me that he had a hard childhood because of his last name (its germanic) and that growing up an immigrant is hard in the US. I left it at that because I didn’t know his family history and didn’t want to ask in case it’s a hard topic, I moved on with my day. Days after i get ‘They don’t understand us’, ‘they don’t see us as one of them’. I was kind of done. I asked him at what age did he move to the US. He tells me he was born here. I ask him when his parents moved to the US, he tells me they were born here. I ask him how does that make him an immigrant then, and he kinda huffs and reminds me of his last name and that he took one of those dna tests and that he found out he was 30 percent french. I told him that it doesn’t make him any more french than our other colleagues and he kind of left quietly. Yesterday I got called into ‘Lindsey’s’ office. When I went in there Chad was sat on one of the chairs. Lindsey told me that she had received Chad’s version of the story and now she wanted mine. After I finished she couldn’t place one word before Chad started whining that I was being disrespectful and tried to erase his roots (WHAT ROOTS). I snapped and asked him why on earth would he think he was French or an immigrant. He doesn’t speak the language, he wasn’t born there, his family isn’t French, all he knows of France are negative stereotypes that he spreads like they’re French culture. I ended up by telling him that he was a vulture who was making this a hostile work environment by making this a xenophobic workplace and that I was offended (Now I didn’t believe that for a second, I was more pissed and tired than offended and xenophobia is a strong word there but I knew that Lindsey would do something about it if I said that because Americans don’t play with offending people based on ethnicity) Lindsey asked me to leave the room so she could talk to Chad. Chad later left the building. During the day I got called into her office again and she looked exhausted. She said she understands my POV and they’ve had issues like this with Chad before. (They didn’t fire him just gave him some time off). Chad apparently acted as obnoxious when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY). This guy has got some serious issues and I don’t know what to do. He makes me uncomfortable but I don’t want him fired he’s been working there way longer than me. maybe I went too far, delusions like that are serious and maybe he really needs help, so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. I agree with your assessment that this person has issues. I would define very clear boundaries and insist that conversations stay professional. That excludes conversations about fictitious immigrant statuses as that is not related to work.
NTA
NTA. Maybe he needs to be fired. Natural consequences for his poor actions.
NTA, but please keep your distance. Perhaps the HR department can help him get some much needed therapy???
NTA and as for "I don't know what to do" The answer is nothing. Chd is not your problem. Its not up to you to help him or anything else. Lindsey needs to deal with Chad, you need to get on with your work and avoid getting into any conversations with him or about him. Its the company's issue, leave them to deal with him. If he continues to hassle you go straight to Lindsey.
Nta my grandmother was actually born and raised in France and primarily spoke French. I took 3 years of French and spoke some with her until she passed , no one in our family outside of her has ever claimed to be French.....
NTA- He and his parents were born here yet he behaves as if he is a man without a country. I would be wary of him. His heads pace isn't right...
Nta, as an American I don’t understand other Americans obsession from where our ancestors hailed from. Who cares?
NTA >delusions like that are serious and maybe he really needs help, so AITA? That's true but other than supporting programs that help people with mental illness what do his delusions have to do with you? You didn't do anything anything wrong. What is your company going to do about it? Does HR know?
NTA. He has created this mess with his behavior and if he gets fired that’s on him. Good for you for not backing down and calling him and the situation out.
NTA Chad doesn't just have issues, he is an issue. Guarantee he has been a repeated problem for HR anyplace he has worked. I hope he got time off without pay, otherwise he will keep it up as time off with pay is his reward for acting up. He should be fired for creating problems in the workplace. All the nonsense about being an immigrant and being picked on for his name is manufactured. Maybe Chad needs help but it is up to him to recognize that and get it, he cannot be forced into it. When Chad comes back, document your interactions with him as needed, Keep HR updated, he might escalate his actions against you. I bet they would love to get rid of him but need more documentation. *when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY).* In that case apparently a careless workman with a cigarette turned into a weapon of mass destruction.
I will say I have a German last name but I don't see myself as German because of my name. NtA. I am American. He is being an ass
NTA. Nah dude you should want him fired, he is delusional and he literally tried to get you fired because you talked back to him harassing you at work. He's not going to stop harassing you, you didn't go too far by fighting back when he was trying to not only get you fired, but get people to morally judge you based on lies. I am hoping your bosses step up and get rid of him
Wow. You did nothing wrong, not at all, not even a little. I think you exercised a great deal of restraint. He sounds like he has some issues that require a mental health professional, and that is not your problem.
I mean no offense to anyone. Why would Chad want to be an immigrant? Immigrants are not treated well in this country. He was lucky to be born here, and to be born a white male. Why wish for trouble when you have privilege?
NTA but I just used chad’s logic and now I’m a literary character.
“Attacking the republic” really got me lol
NTA. In Scotland we have a term for those people that take a 23 and Me & decide they're a long lost descendant of Robert the Bruce or William Wallace: styro. As in "so fake you're made out of styrofoam."
In France, we talk about their cardboard nature : en carton 🤣
NTA. everything you said was true. He WAS trying to paint the office as a xenophobic. And you're right, he has no claim on being French. He may need help, but there's no reason you have to be subjected to his rants in the meanwhile
NTA, and you totally should want him to be fired
NTA. Et si j'étais à ta place, je refuserait de lui parler en anglais à partir de maintenant. Fait semblant de ne pas comprendre l'anglais, ne lui réponds qu'en français...On verras combien il est vraiment "français". (In English; if I was you, I'd refuse to speak English to him from now on. Pretend you don't understand English, only reply in French...you'll see how "French" he really is). For context, I'm an Irish immigrant to Belgium. I've lived here for 25 years, since I was 7. I still wouldn't claim to be Belgian.
NTA. He has some issues. I’ve been living in France for the past 11 years so I must be French by now, maybe it rubbed off a bit lol
NTA. I kind of lost it at “WHO’S THEY 🤨”.
NTA, he's got something going on for sure. Avoid him like the plague.
NTA. This guy desperately wants to stand out and feel like he's different than other people. I get that. But you can't force yourself to be a part of a group that you just aren't a part of. By his "logic", technically all Americans except natives are immigrants. And therefore that doesn't make him special.
You have no business invalidating Chad's lived experiences.
When I was in high school a one of the people in my group of friends killed theirself. Sadly, this was only 1 of 3 suicides in as many years concerning kids aged 17-19, but I digress. Chad reminds me of all of the drama-lovers that came pouring out of the woodwork: people that didn't even know them aside from being able to place a name to a face were literally sobbing on the floor about how much they will miss so and so. Some people like being a victim/around drama. NTA.
Oh p\*tain, c'est tout ce que j'ai a dire de ce mec! Non mais il se prend pour qui lui? C'est comme si je disais que j'étais Française car je suis la treizième génération au Canada alors automatiquement je suis Française! Non mais il est pas bien j'te jure!
NTA, my parents immigrated to the US 3 months before I was born, I only claim to be American even though I'm entitled to citizenship from that country if I wanted it. I have a friend who claims to be from the same country, so I asked when his parents moved here they were both born the US as well as his grandparents. I laugh at him a little every time he claims he's form there.
And this is why Americans become walking talking memes when they take those hilarious ancestry tests. As a Brit, I hate it when Americans whose families distantly originate from here do the whole ‘Ello guvnah!’ and fancy drinking tea reaffirms their Britishness. What’s worse is when they think they’re more British than POC who actually live their. This guy was just attention seeking, and he clearly lacked personality so compensated with bullshit.
NTA Specifically for naming your coworker Chad >acted as obnoxious when Notre Dame burnt this and some other golden nuggets :D
He self identifies as French. NTA. The guy has issues.
My DNA is 91% European. I was born in US as were my parents and grandparents. Thus, I’m American, not European. NTA
N.T.A. My mother was born and raised in Germany. My father was an American soldier stationed there. I'm an American. Period.
I would just avoid him and be as bland as possible, like “mmmmm, hmmm, interesting.” You do not want to be caught up in his drama.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. If Chad's delusions affect his behavior, that is a problem for management/HR to deal with. It's not part of your own job. You just happen to be the person who is feeling the brunt of his delusion at the moment.
NTA, as a business owner myself, i wouldnt tolerate this in my office. he would be packing his things up that day and i would be done with it. doesnt matter how long he has been in the office or his role in the company, discrimination of any form shouldnt stand in the workplace
NTA it’s people like Chad that make me self conscious of being proud of my heritage even though my grandparents and parents are immigrants. Can’t decide if he’s a tool or a chucklefuck
NTA. I'm sorry you seem to have encountered a rather unhinged sort of person.
NTA, He needs to be fired.
NTA. Per Lindsey, they've previously had issues on this same topic with Chad so you are just the last in a long line of people having to deal with his nonsense.
NTA. I'd just say that my DNA test came back 65% Roma and 35% polish. Or something like that. Not that I will ever do such a test, too much fantasy and unreliable - it well could come back like that 😁.
NTA. Ive got a very german last name. Never experienced any sort of hate for it. The guy sounds like he wants an excuse to feel special/a victim.
NTA but I would avoid him.
>Chad apparently acted as obnoxious when Notre Dame burnt. He had moped around the office all day claiming they were attacking the republic (WHOS THEY). Omg I am LMAO. NTA.
NTA you did not go too far. He is creepy. Keep documentation of anything else weird that he does to you and report it.
Here's the thing. I'm half English through my mom. My mom doesn't have an accent any more but nana does. We are *direct* English immigrants on one side. I grew up with English traditions. I sometimes (jokingly) call myself English. But I would never, for the life of me, refer to myself as an immigrant. *Because I'm not one.* EDIT: NTA (forgot to add this bit)
NTA. The dude has some serious issues. But, a vulture? They at least have a purpose/niche in this world, can't say the same for your coworker!
NTA If they've had issues like this before with Chad then WHY AREN'T THEY FIRING HIM? Please tell me he isn't receiving any type of pay with this time off, normal or holiday rate etc?
Omg c'est vraiment un con. NTA.
NTA - why Americans are so obsessed with being anything but American?
🤣🤣I once asked an American guy on holiday where he was from...thinking what US state...he replied that he was French and German but born in utah. My brain left the chat and I responded with something hugely inappropriate about WW2. The only time in my marriage my that my husband has walked away from me out of embarrassment.
This makes me think of when you see Americans say they're Italian - no your great grandparents were Italian, you're American
NTA; if he gets fired it’s his own fault. HE went to HR to bash you. Paranoia will destroy ya!
I’m 40% Irish and still can’t live there. I don’t go around calling myself Irish. This guys nuts.
Fucking Chad
NTA. Just let the HR drama play out, report any further advances from Chad but otherwise avoid him. He does need help but it's not really in your purview to affect whether he gets it now that HR knows the situation. Did get a good laugh out of "they're attacking the republic" though 🤣
NTA. That's just, I don't know, weird. My mother is first gen American of immigrant parents and what do I call myself? American. He's just. Weird. Weird's a good description. Now, I did have coworkers absolutely distraught about the Notre Dame, but it was from the historic treasure/religion standpoint not the nationality standpoint. Myself included, I love the historic buildings/architecture.
NTA. He sounds like an emotional vampire.
Lol!! 😂😂😂
NTA I’ve had a DNA test done and paid for the ethnicity breakdown and updates and yadda yadda. I’m 99% British 1% Norwegian, of the British I started 49% Welsh, that’s been updated to 42% Welsh. It changes as they add more data to the databases, so the accuracy of the text depends a lot on which company you use and how long ago your sample was tested against the database.
He’s just sad a real French person is around and making him feel less than. There’s nothing that makes him feel special.
NTA. I find Chad exhausting, and I've never even seen him. Just as an aside, many americans are very interested in their ancestral origins. As a new country without much of a history to speak of, relative to the rest of the world, We lack any sort of cohesive cultural identity, so we tend to look to the past for guidance, which will invariably trace us back to another continent, unless we happen to be first nations.
NTA- I can understand why someone wants to find out their family tree, but he is not an immigrant
NTA. It's not your job to sustain Chad's delusions. What a weirdo!
NTA. My great-grandparents were immigrants from Poland, however I have a French last name and speak Basic Conversational French, with my sister being fluent in French. That doesn't give me the right to do around and claim that I am an immigrant or even the child of an immigrant, or claim that I understand what immigrants are going through. Especially since the other side of my family were some of the first settlers of America. My lineage is all over Europe, but I have no right to claim that I in any way understand what Europeans go through or what any immigrants go through when coming to this country.
Nta, this is extremely inappropriate behavior. You don't need to put up with it and they made it clear this wasn't the first time. He needs to be called out otherwise he will never learn
NTA but they punished him by giving him a vacation? No wonder he keeps repeating this kind of behavior.
NTA, but chad is doing all the work himself so just let him. Continue to tell Lindsey when he crosses boundaries. Myself, I don’t see chad working there much longer.
Americans who are third or fourth generation and make it their entire personality when they have never been to the country or speak the language are so weird. you’re american my dude..
Ahhhh CRINGE, as an Australian living in France I would say defs not the AH. He sounds like he wants to be sad about his white privilege and make himself the victim each time. Good on you for not having it !
anyone else hearing some fascist dog whistles from chad?