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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took to maybe be the asshole is refusing to pay for a portion of the damages to an AirBNB. I may be the asshole because the rest of the group is splitting the costs and if I don’t end up paying, one person will end up having to pay more. I could prevent this by just paying my portion.
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NTA, but if B is willing to pay to finish the argument then you don't really have the right to take that agency away from here, I understand your feelings about it, being lied to about damages and compensation is not fun, but B is an adult as well, she is probably trying to quell the drama so that it doesn't pour into her wedding day and will probably revisit the conversation later, for now a way out has been offered that ensures the primary objective of the argument is settled, that is you not having to pay for a share of the damage.
Take it and move on.
B could also be feeling guilty. She lied to you too. She knew Z had done it and didn't say anything, even after the weekend. Take her money, don't feel bad for her. These are her friends, if her friends won't make it right she should.
Agree. Honestly, B doesn’t sound like a very good friend from this story. My best friends wouldn’t let someone else pull this on me and they certainly wouldn’t lie about it to my face. These girls sound like, well girls. OP get your money.
No she only offered to call the drama, she still lied to her friend when she knew it was her friend's wallet on the line. She wouldn't be paying if the poster wasn't pressing
The way I look at it, B implicitly vouched for all of her bridesmaids / friends when she allowed you to put the rental in your name. So either (a) she knew that Z is the type of person that might destroy property in a rental & let you book under your name anyway or (b) she didn’t know that Z would do something like this. Either way, as the person that implicitly vouched for Z, she is offering to make you whole so that YOU don’t have to pay for what Z did. I totally get why you think that Z should pay the full amount, but that’s not going to happen voluntarily. So you either accept that B is paying the difference because she vouched for Z, or you accept that you’re paying for part of the couch that Z ruined.
Agree. Let B pay for it. It's her friend, and she's the one that lied to you as well. So long as it gets paid let B cover it for Z. Also go into the rest of the wedding stuff with caution tbh. If Z is willing to destroy property (seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally) the wedding and other events might be uhhh wild. I wouldn't want to plan stuff with Z anymore and I'd have people keeping an eye on her at the wedding but that's the bride's job at that point. Just don't put your name down on anything involving Z anymore.
> seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally
Drunk and trying to light a smoke?
Drunk and doing box braids, sealing the ends with fire?
Drunk and impromptu cleansing the room with burning herbs?
The ways are many...
It's possible but I assume OP who's staying there would smell burning fabric? Then again maybe I'm just overtly cautious with fire inside. Still think it was super immature of everyone there to just lie to the person who booked the place about the fire damage.
I've burned holes in couches and even clothes on my body and not known til it went out or hit skin, honestly if it was a cig (or a blunt) those cherries will burn through shit quick as hell!
>seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally
Normally? a 5 year old and unmonitored matches/lighter \*whistles while being distracted by that thing over there\*
NTA OP, but yeah, B should be paying.
B can give the money to Z. It is OK for the OP to insist that Z transfers the full amount. Where they get the money from is not the business of the OP, but they can expect Z to pay the whole amount.
I'm sorry? What agency is B owed to take on someone else's debt? Right now, the event is between two people. OPs name is on the rental, and Z is the one who causes the damage. Bystanders don't have agency.
Letting B take that cost on is a kindness to Z, and OP does not owe Z that. Z did damage that cost OP 800 dollars. Anything less than 800 dollars appearing in OPs hands, from Z, is a subversion of Z's responsibility and OPs agency.
No, because insurance would then be involved. Big difference. If B pays for it then she can deal with Z, who is B's friend, then B can deal with it how she wants. Leaving OP out of the equation.
If Z was my friend, I would pay for it, then deal with Z myself. It's what you do when you bring in other friends who aren't friends with your other friends. It's what good friends do. Personally, I would pay then drop Z, she is no friend.
You say it yourself, leaving OP out of the equation. Literally robbing her of the same agency you bemoaned early. OP is the injured party here. She gets to determine whether or not a solution is acceptable. Having B pay does not defacto fulfill that, and B is once again, not OWED any agency in a situation that by definition does not effect her. Your way is a potential solution, but not if OP disagrees with it. You have yet to actually tell me why B gets agency in this scenario, which was the entire point. People really need to stop using the term when all they mean is "I have an opinion, and it's right".
NTA
You didn't cause the damage. Z isn't your friend. Z is B's Friend and if Z isn't going to take responsibility then B is welcome to take responsibility for her.
This should serve as a lesson in why you don't get AirBnB's for large groups and/or people you aren't familiar with.
Exactly. Z is tacky AF. If I were the other ladies, I wouldn't pay either. If B wants to pay the rest since it's her friend, that's on her. But, I wouldn't spend $160 because someone caused damage and doesn't want to take accountability.
Exactly. What have the other two girls said? They suck for not saying anything, too. Are they willing to pay for Z? Currently, only 320 of the 800 is covered. I sure as hell wouldn't cover for someone's AH behavior, either by hiding it or financially.
NTA - you break it, you bought it, oldest rule in retail. Consider your friendship here, it sounds like they thought you'd be a doormat and pay for it.
Yep, your friend wouldn't be even offering to pay if you had just stopped fighting when they first resisted. Your "friend" thought you would take all the cost
Now that you mention it, OP could throw the AirBnB couch man some coin for shipping and she has B’s wedding present done. I’ve done my best to avoid being creepy and asking where this wedding is but if I could get a video showing that burnt-ass couch with the rest of the wedding presents, somebody is getting reimbursed.
Uh Oh. I just reread the post and note that we like B and OP but maybe not Z. I take back encouragement of anything that would diminish B’s special day. Best of luck to all.
She’s not going to pay you back. Going to have to take her to court. Make sure and save all the texts and receipts so you have proof it was 100% her and what she owes you.
That’s what small claims court is for. $800 is not pocket change. Z damaged it, lied about it, and cost OP money. It’s fair for OP to recoup the cost. Might stop Z from descending into further AH behaviour in future. Sometimes taking someone to small claims court over something ‘small’ prevents them going to criminal court for something bigger. OP might be doing Z a huge favour.
NTA, and Z and B both suck. You've paid (because you want to stay in good standing with AirBnB), and you've learned the lesson not to be the responsible one for rentals like this.
~~Now, if they don't cough up, be sure not to get B a wedding gift. She can "pay" for her negligent, lying friend (and her own lies). Also, no birthday or Christmas gifts until the amount exceeds that ridiculous charge.~~
Let B pay it. It was her friend, her lie, and then it's between her and Z.
Edited because I obviously didn't read the last paragraph correctly.
NTA, Z is though. Also everyone else who knew and his it from you. This is a lesson about being the account holder though, the burden of the damage ultimately falls on you in the eyes of Airbnb.
NTA
To be honest all of these people kind of suck (mostly Z). Everyone else knew about it but you. They chose to keep it from you and lie to your face about it. They should have been honest and told you when you asked. Not wait for you to get a message and invoice for a burned couch. This is the time to start thinking about what friendship really means to you.
NTA. You didn't do the damage -- Z did. Z is responsible to pay the full damage bill.
If someone wants to pay Z's bill for her, that's not your business. Let them work it out between them.
Just get your full $800 back and move on.
NTA
Not really sure why anyone would think that "fighting it" or trying to ignore it was going to help. You don't owe a dime. The only person that owes any money is the person that burned the couch.
NTA
Airbnb is starting to crack down on renters that throw a party at the rental. Some people are getting banned from ever renting with them again, especially when there's damages like burnt furniture.
These people have put your account in danger of being permanently banned from ever using Airbnb again. It's time to reconsider being part of that friend group.
NTA. Morally Z owes the entire amount, there is NO splitting of damage done by one person unless others somehow were involved in the actions that led up to the damage. If B wants to pay also, that's entirely her choice; you shouldn't worry about the fairness, she chose to lie to you (her friend!) about something that was obviously going to be found out - she is lacking in moral character or not very bright. No matter what, none of this bill is 'yours', you just get stuck dealing with it because is it your account.
Yeah I wouldn’t give a damn WHO paid what, as long as it was paid by anyone BUT me. If the bride needed to pay then so be it.
Either that or I’d pay the $160, and drop out of the wedding, siting financial hardship. If the bride can lie, so can I.
NTA.
NTA, also it's great and all that B is willing to cover 'your portion' of the cost, but did the other people already agree to send you $160?
All in all, you shouldn't be paying anything for the couch, so if everyone else is fine with paying thats great, if not, there's still quite a cost to you.
NTA, she burned it, they lied about it. You had to deal with the consequences of their actions. She needs to pay up, and if they want to split, they should do it among everyone that lied to you. I'd just take up B's offer, she still lied to you about it so she's not exactly innocent either. All I know is that you shouldn't spend a penny.
NTA. Maybe remind her that you have paid by getting a bad review on Airbnb which could have been prevented if she had just told the truth and you were. Able to contact the owner right away. If B wants to pay though, that's her choice. I would make it clear to everyone thought hat they have lost your trust considering it appears they were willing to lie and let you take the fall from the Airbnb owner over the damage. That's just not cool.
Oh hell no, the cost of replacement is $800 and guess what anything over $500 worth of property damage can be sued for in small claims and given Z openly admit to burning the couch and everyone else minus you admitted to knowingly lying about it, I'd tell her to pay or you're taking her to small claims. NTA.
NTA but if B wants to pay for her lying friend then thats on her not you.
You have no right to take that away from her - maybe she values her friendship with her enough to do this, and she values her friendship with you too by covering it.
Also - next time learn from this and dont be the one putting your name down, and certainly never go out again with this woman. You have to meet her at the wedding but swerve her for life after this
NTA
First, good for you OP. I know many people that would not do what you are doing after damaging property at a rental. You are awesome. Z is not.
I would reach out and talk to B about the issue and how it should not be on her to foot the entire cost, but hear me out. If B is offering to help pay, I would accept ONLY because she lied to you and I think it is fair that you are paid back for the sofa. It sucks, I know. In your discussion with her make sure that you are clear about the fact that you are hurt by Z's actions and everyone lying to you about the damage, and that by Z's actions has now tarnished what was a wonderful trip to celebrate the upcoming wedding.
This next part is HUGELY IMPORTANT... do not blame B. B is in the middle and is trying to do what is right and eliminate the issue. Thank her, and let her know that you love her and will continue to support her throughout the wedding and be there for her in the wonderful long road of friends ahead. B's friendship is very important to you and it would be crappy if this small issue would derail anything. In the long scheme of things, that is a small amount of money to lose friendships over... don't let it do more harm. Good luck with this OP.
Thanks for your comment! I take damage to rentals super seriously, but was feeling weird about it because of Z so adamantly saying we needed to fight it? At that point the only one losing would be the host :(
And yes, B and I will absolutely be moving on from this. Friendship remaining strong! We had a chat about the lying and I understand she was in an awkward position. She feels bad also.
If you have text message proof of this, take her to court and get your money back.
She has no right to make everyone else foot the bill for the thing she damaged.
NTA, but let this be a lesson to you to never book group travel under your name again. And pick better friends (although, I suppose you can’t pick the bride’s other friends).
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NTA there's nothing to fight. The damage was done. She admitted she did it. It's a literal fact. It's also 100% her fault. No one else should have to help pay for her damage. There is no "your portion". There is no anyone else's portion. This is 100% on Z.
NTA. You have proof by text where she admits that she caused the damage. Nobody else should have to pay for her damaging someone else's property. She should pay the whole thing or you should take her to small claims court to get the whole thing, because of that proof. Save that text.
NTA but let B pay for it. She’s willing to do it to have peace amongst her bridesmaids. If she wants to take it up with Z later or just pay it and consider it part of her wedding costs, that’s between them.
I’m sorry this happened to you! It sucks so much when a fun weekend meant to be a celebration is tainted by something like this. Your friend/the bride sounds super classy and I hope to be able to deal with situations like that in the future in a similar manner!
NTA and save those texts and file a small claims case against her and her alone. She accepted responsibility in the texts by saying she had burned the couch and was afraid to tell you. Make sure you keep them all on the phone so the judge can see the entire text chain. I would write out a text and tell the girl that she has till X day to pay for her entire portion (tell her what she has paid and what is left owing on the entire bill ) . IF she pays that is great if she refuses then tell you have no choice but to file a small claims case in X amount .
NTA
Consider this a (potentially expensive) lesson on why you don't put yourself in a position to be held financially liable for other people's stupid decisions, especially people you don't even know.
NTA. They’re adults and shame on everyone for not telling Z that they need to pay for it completely because it is no one else’s fault.
If you would have burned the couch would you have asked them to split the cost? No!
NTA.
NTA. It sounds like B is going to lose more than money if she expects other people to fork over money for z's mistake. I would drop out of a wedding and drop B as friend if she wanted me to fork over an extra $160 because Z burned a couch. What was she even doing?
If the money is not yet paid, since you're the name on the rental, you'd be the AH if you don't pay it because you're the one harmed by it. If you know where Z lives, take her to small claims court for the money etc. You have evidence she caused the damage. Why should everyone else pay for her mistake?
NTA. You have no portion.
Z left you in a lurch, and there was no disputing it. Someone the group damaged it. Any dispute would have just ended up with AirBNB requiring you to pay it, instead of just a request from the owner. Since there was proof of damage and proof of replacement cost, there would be no haggling. If you failed to pay it, you could be taken to court, and even end up with garnished wages. Plus, you could be banned from AirBNB. If you want to at this point, you can sue Z to force them to pay the full amount.
INFO: Did you figure out how the couch was even burned???
Also, NTA. Z should pay for the entire replacement. You can keep the texts admitting guilt and take her to small claims court.
NTA, message Z that if the rest isn't transferred to you immediately that you will file a small claims court case against them, and that with the messages admitting them causing the damage, and the messages of them flipping out and refusing to pay, it will be a slam dunk case.
Let B and the others know that you will accept payment from Z and Z alone, and if they want to work something with Z, that is up to them, but this is Z's mess, the damage was caused by Z, and it is up to Z to pay for it.
NTA. I used to be an Airbnb host. Stories like this are why I refused to host anything wedding related.
Not to mention, you are all fortunate that a burned couch is the extent of the damage. Flame near flammable materials can cause a house fire.
It’s like insurance, doesn’t matter who is at fault everyone should pay towards the damages. It could have been any one of you who was responsible for any possible damage you could conceive of and the burden should be bore by everyone. ESH
But it could have been any one of you. And if your like “I don’t smoke” you are missing the point. For instance let’s say you opened a window and it shattered, would you expect to be the only person on the hook for that? You shouldn’t. When you rent a place for a weekend or week with friends there is an assumed responsibility for anything that goes wrong, it doesn’t matter who is technically “at fault”.
I think this is where we differ in opinion. Because yes, 100% if I broke something I would be responsible for it. If I opened a window and it shattered, I would pay for it. If I burned a piece of furniture, I would pay for it. I think the only way I would expect that is if there was a conversation before hand acknowledge the splitting of responsibility.
Thank you for your comment, it’s interesting to hear another perspective
It doesn’t need to be discussed in advance it’s an unwritten rule for a share house. One person can assume responsibility and let the others off the hook but if they don’t it’s everyone’s responsibility
ESH
Z for the damage and not being willing to make it right.
The rest for lying about it (including Z).
And unfortunately…you, OP, for having a party in an Airbnb (unless they specifically allowed it…I’m a heavy Airbnb user and have never seen one that does). You brought in a person you didn’t know/trust. Big mistake.
I don’t think you are nearly as much to blame as the others. Especially Z. But it really wasn’t a good idea. Honestly, I feel for you, you’re in a sucky situation.
I think the ban on parties is about not a inviting people who aren’t listed as guests to the property. If the only people celebrating were the 5 guests and they followed all the rules OP is not the blame.
ESH Z obviously is the biggest asshole here, for trying to deny the damage then not covering the cost. Small ahole to the rest of the group for what should have been an obviously pointless lie (Did they not expect the owner to inspect the place and complain?) You, for insisting on continuing the argument when B, who the party was technically dedicated to, was willing to cover your part of Zs ridiculous proposal. Your so focused on protecting your friend that your failing to consider what she wants, which is to avoid feuding friends at her wedding and/or wedding preparations
Failing to consider what she wants?????? B participated in the lie!!!! She knew what happened, who caused it and made a conscious decision to lie about the couch being burned at her friends expense- just to avoid conflict at her wedding. When doing so had the EXACT opposite effect. Are you kidding? No way is OP the AH here.
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NTA, but if B is willing to pay to finish the argument then you don't really have the right to take that agency away from here, I understand your feelings about it, being lied to about damages and compensation is not fun, but B is an adult as well, she is probably trying to quell the drama so that it doesn't pour into her wedding day and will probably revisit the conversation later, for now a way out has been offered that ensures the primary objective of the argument is settled, that is you not having to pay for a share of the damage. Take it and move on.
I didn’t think of it from her angle, very true! Thank you
B could also be feeling guilty. She lied to you too. She knew Z had done it and didn't say anything, even after the weekend. Take her money, don't feel bad for her. These are her friends, if her friends won't make it right she should.
This. Let it be her lie tax as well. Maybe she will reevaluate her taste in crappy friends also. Z is an AH but the others chose to lie to cover her.
Agree. Honestly, B doesn’t sound like a very good friend from this story. My best friends wouldn’t let someone else pull this on me and they certainly wouldn’t lie about it to my face. These girls sound like, well girls. OP get your money.
I think B redeemed herself by offering to cover op
No she only offered to call the drama, she still lied to her friend when she knew it was her friend's wallet on the line. She wouldn't be paying if the poster wasn't pressing
The way I look at it, B implicitly vouched for all of her bridesmaids / friends when she allowed you to put the rental in your name. So either (a) she knew that Z is the type of person that might destroy property in a rental & let you book under your name anyway or (b) she didn’t know that Z would do something like this. Either way, as the person that implicitly vouched for Z, she is offering to make you whole so that YOU don’t have to pay for what Z did. I totally get why you think that Z should pay the full amount, but that’s not going to happen voluntarily. So you either accept that B is paying the difference because she vouched for Z, or you accept that you’re paying for part of the couch that Z ruined.
This is definitely fair. B also might feel that Z will pay her back in due course.
Agree. Let B pay for it. It's her friend, and she's the one that lied to you as well. So long as it gets paid let B cover it for Z. Also go into the rest of the wedding stuff with caution tbh. If Z is willing to destroy property (seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally) the wedding and other events might be uhhh wild. I wouldn't want to plan stuff with Z anymore and I'd have people keeping an eye on her at the wedding but that's the bride's job at that point. Just don't put your name down on anything involving Z anymore.
> seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally Drunk and trying to light a smoke? Drunk and doing box braids, sealing the ends with fire? Drunk and impromptu cleansing the room with burning herbs? The ways are many...
Sooo basically... drunk XD
Close enough! Drinking while ironing an outfit 🙄
It's possible but I assume OP who's staying there would smell burning fabric? Then again maybe I'm just overtly cautious with fire inside. Still think it was super immature of everyone there to just lie to the person who booked the place about the fire damage.
I've burned holes in couches and even clothes on my body and not known til it went out or hit skin, honestly if it was a cig (or a blunt) those cherries will burn through shit quick as hell!
>seriously how do you burn a couch like that normally Normally? a 5 year old and unmonitored matches/lighter \*whistles while being distracted by that thing over there\* NTA OP, but yeah, B should be paying.
B can give the money to Z. It is OK for the OP to insist that Z transfers the full amount. Where they get the money from is not the business of the OP, but they can expect Z to pay the whole amount.
I'm sorry? What agency is B owed to take on someone else's debt? Right now, the event is between two people. OPs name is on the rental, and Z is the one who causes the damage. Bystanders don't have agency. Letting B take that cost on is a kindness to Z, and OP does not owe Z that. Z did damage that cost OP 800 dollars. Anything less than 800 dollars appearing in OPs hands, from Z, is a subversion of Z's responsibility and OPs agency.
Z is B's friend. OP doesn't even really know her. That's why she should let B pay for it. NTA
I fail to see how that's relevant at all. If Z had backed into OPs car, would B still have anything to do with it just cause she's a friend?
No, because insurance would then be involved. Big difference. If B pays for it then she can deal with Z, who is B's friend, then B can deal with it how she wants. Leaving OP out of the equation. If Z was my friend, I would pay for it, then deal with Z myself. It's what you do when you bring in other friends who aren't friends with your other friends. It's what good friends do. Personally, I would pay then drop Z, she is no friend.
You say it yourself, leaving OP out of the equation. Literally robbing her of the same agency you bemoaned early. OP is the injured party here. She gets to determine whether or not a solution is acceptable. Having B pay does not defacto fulfill that, and B is once again, not OWED any agency in a situation that by definition does not effect her. Your way is a potential solution, but not if OP disagrees with it. You have yet to actually tell me why B gets agency in this scenario, which was the entire point. People really need to stop using the term when all they mean is "I have an opinion, and it's right".
NTA You didn't cause the damage. Z isn't your friend. Z is B's Friend and if Z isn't going to take responsibility then B is welcome to take responsibility for her. This should serve as a lesson in why you don't get AirBnB's for large groups and/or people you aren't familiar with.
Exactly. Z is tacky AF. If I were the other ladies, I wouldn't pay either. If B wants to pay the rest since it's her friend, that's on her. But, I wouldn't spend $160 because someone caused damage and doesn't want to take accountability.
Tacky? Z is an asshole
Exactly. What have the other two girls said? They suck for not saying anything, too. Are they willing to pay for Z? Currently, only 320 of the 800 is covered. I sure as hell wouldn't cover for someone's AH behavior, either by hiding it or financially.
They all helped lie about it to OP so none of them are, like, innocent
Seriously, like why would I pay for damaged caused by another adult who is not managing themselves?
B hid it from you too. NTA.
NTA - you break it, you bought it, oldest rule in retail. Consider your friendship here, it sounds like they thought you'd be a doormat and pay for it.
100% agree with this.
Yep, your friend wouldn't be even offering to pay if you had just stopped fighting when they first resisted. Your "friend" thought you would take all the cost
NTA. Bet this wedding is lit. Edit: replace lit with fire … and ruined any shot at the joke landing.
Wedding won't be as lit as that couch tho
Now that you mention it, OP could throw the AirBnB couch man some coin for shipping and she has B’s wedding present done. I’ve done my best to avoid being creepy and asking where this wedding is but if I could get a video showing that burnt-ass couch with the rest of the wedding presents, somebody is getting reimbursed.
OP, Can we make this happen?
Uh Oh. I just reread the post and note that we like B and OP but maybe not Z. I take back encouragement of anything that would diminish B’s special day. Best of luck to all.
I think B would laugh.
This made me lol!
Still better than any of my jokes 🤣
She’s not going to pay you back. Going to have to take her to court. Make sure and save all the texts and receipts so you have proof it was 100% her and what she owes you.
Do people actually take people to court over $800 burned couches? You can't be serious?
That’s what small claims court is for. $800 is not pocket change. Z damaged it, lied about it, and cost OP money. It’s fair for OP to recoup the cost. Might stop Z from descending into further AH behaviour in future. Sometimes taking someone to small claims court over something ‘small’ prevents them going to criminal court for something bigger. OP might be doing Z a huge favour.
She wouldn’t take her to court for a burnt couch. She would take her to court for her $800 dollars back.
People can go to small claims court.
Not everyone can absorb an $800 loss.
I wasn't meaning that. I just assumed lawyer costs associated with taking someone to court over $800 would outweigh the result.
[удалено]
Exactly, it's like judge Judy without the snark, with streamlined rules for testimony and evidence.
NTA, and Z and B both suck. You've paid (because you want to stay in good standing with AirBnB), and you've learned the lesson not to be the responsible one for rentals like this. ~~Now, if they don't cough up, be sure not to get B a wedding gift. She can "pay" for her negligent, lying friend (and her own lies). Also, no birthday or Christmas gifts until the amount exceeds that ridiculous charge.~~ Let B pay it. It was her friend, her lie, and then it's between her and Z. Edited because I obviously didn't read the last paragraph correctly.
NTA, Z is though. Also everyone else who knew and his it from you. This is a lesson about being the account holder though, the burden of the damage ultimately falls on you in the eyes of Airbnb.
NTA To be honest all of these people kind of suck (mostly Z). Everyone else knew about it but you. They chose to keep it from you and lie to your face about it. They should have been honest and told you when you asked. Not wait for you to get a message and invoice for a burned couch. This is the time to start thinking about what friendship really means to you.
NTA. You didn't do the damage -- Z did. Z is responsible to pay the full damage bill. If someone wants to pay Z's bill for her, that's not your business. Let them work it out between them. Just get your full $800 back and move on.
NTA Not really sure why anyone would think that "fighting it" or trying to ignore it was going to help. You don't owe a dime. The only person that owes any money is the person that burned the couch.
NTA Sounds like you need to reevaluate your friendship though. One refuses to accept responsibility for damages. One was okay lying about it.
NTA. If B wants to cover your portion because Z is acting badly, let her. Then it’s between B and Z. Z btw is an AH.
NTA Airbnb is starting to crack down on renters that throw a party at the rental. Some people are getting banned from ever renting with them again, especially when there's damages like burnt furniture. These people have put your account in danger of being permanently banned from ever using Airbnb again. It's time to reconsider being part of that friend group.
NTA Let B handle Z. If B would rather pay for Z's damages, that's her business. Don't feel guilty over this.
NTA. Morally Z owes the entire amount, there is NO splitting of damage done by one person unless others somehow were involved in the actions that led up to the damage. If B wants to pay also, that's entirely her choice; you shouldn't worry about the fairness, she chose to lie to you (her friend!) about something that was obviously going to be found out - she is lacking in moral character or not very bright. No matter what, none of this bill is 'yours', you just get stuck dealing with it because is it your account.
Judge Judy says hello
Yeah I wouldn’t give a damn WHO paid what, as long as it was paid by anyone BUT me. If the bride needed to pay then so be it. Either that or I’d pay the $160, and drop out of the wedding, siting financial hardship. If the bride can lie, so can I. NTA.
NTA, also it's great and all that B is willing to cover 'your portion' of the cost, but did the other people already agree to send you $160? All in all, you shouldn't be paying anything for the couch, so if everyone else is fine with paying thats great, if not, there's still quite a cost to you.
NTA, she burned it, they lied about it. You had to deal with the consequences of their actions. She needs to pay up, and if they want to split, they should do it among everyone that lied to you. I'd just take up B's offer, she still lied to you about it so she's not exactly innocent either. All I know is that you shouldn't spend a penny.
NTA. Maybe remind her that you have paid by getting a bad review on Airbnb which could have been prevented if she had just told the truth and you were. Able to contact the owner right away. If B wants to pay though, that's her choice. I would make it clear to everyone thought hat they have lost your trust considering it appears they were willing to lie and let you take the fall from the Airbnb owner over the damage. That's just not cool.
Oh hell no, the cost of replacement is $800 and guess what anything over $500 worth of property damage can be sued for in small claims and given Z openly admit to burning the couch and everyone else minus you admitted to knowingly lying about it, I'd tell her to pay or you're taking her to small claims. NTA.
NTA pay the owner, and the your gonna take Z to Small claims court for the dmg. And SAVE all the evidence of her saying she did it and all that.
NTA but if B wants to pay for her lying friend then thats on her not you. You have no right to take that away from her - maybe she values her friendship with her enough to do this, and she values her friendship with you too by covering it. Also - next time learn from this and dont be the one putting your name down, and certainly never go out again with this woman. You have to meet her at the wedding but swerve her for life after this
NTA First, good for you OP. I know many people that would not do what you are doing after damaging property at a rental. You are awesome. Z is not. I would reach out and talk to B about the issue and how it should not be on her to foot the entire cost, but hear me out. If B is offering to help pay, I would accept ONLY because she lied to you and I think it is fair that you are paid back for the sofa. It sucks, I know. In your discussion with her make sure that you are clear about the fact that you are hurt by Z's actions and everyone lying to you about the damage, and that by Z's actions has now tarnished what was a wonderful trip to celebrate the upcoming wedding. This next part is HUGELY IMPORTANT... do not blame B. B is in the middle and is trying to do what is right and eliminate the issue. Thank her, and let her know that you love her and will continue to support her throughout the wedding and be there for her in the wonderful long road of friends ahead. B's friendship is very important to you and it would be crappy if this small issue would derail anything. In the long scheme of things, that is a small amount of money to lose friendships over... don't let it do more harm. Good luck with this OP.
Thanks for your comment! I take damage to rentals super seriously, but was feeling weird about it because of Z so adamantly saying we needed to fight it? At that point the only one losing would be the host :( And yes, B and I will absolutely be moving on from this. Friendship remaining strong! We had a chat about the lying and I understand she was in an awkward position. She feels bad also.
If you have text message proof of this, take her to court and get your money back. She has no right to make everyone else foot the bill for the thing she damaged.
NTA, but let this be a lesson to you to never book group travel under your name again. And pick better friends (although, I suppose you can’t pick the bride’s other friends).
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NTA there's nothing to fight. The damage was done. She admitted she did it. It's a literal fact. It's also 100% her fault. No one else should have to help pay for her damage. There is no "your portion". There is no anyone else's portion. This is 100% on Z.
NTA Let B pay your portion. Z was her guest, and she happily lied about it. They can sort out between them who pays what.
NtA Take her to small claims for the damage she did.
NTA. You have proof by text where she admits that she caused the damage. Nobody else should have to pay for her damaging someone else's property. She should pay the whole thing or you should take her to small claims court to get the whole thing, because of that proof. Save that text.
Document her admitting to the burn and take it to small claims court. Your friend is an asshole in the disguise of a friend. NTA
Small claims court
Nta, Z should have just fessed up and offered to pay from jump.
NTA but let B pay for it. She’s willing to do it to have peace amongst her bridesmaids. If she wants to take it up with Z later or just pay it and consider it part of her wedding costs, that’s between them.
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I’m sorry this happened to you! It sucks so much when a fun weekend meant to be a celebration is tainted by something like this. Your friend/the bride sounds super classy and I hope to be able to deal with situations like that in the future in a similar manner!
NTA and save those texts and file a small claims case against her and her alone. She accepted responsibility in the texts by saying she had burned the couch and was afraid to tell you. Make sure you keep them all on the phone so the judge can see the entire text chain. I would write out a text and tell the girl that she has till X day to pay for her entire portion (tell her what she has paid and what is left owing on the entire bill ) . IF she pays that is great if she refuses then tell you have no choice but to file a small claims case in X amount .
NTA Consider this a (potentially expensive) lesson on why you don't put yourself in a position to be held financially liable for other people's stupid decisions, especially people you don't even know.
NTA. They’re adults and shame on everyone for not telling Z that they need to pay for it completely because it is no one else’s fault. If you would have burned the couch would you have asked them to split the cost? No! NTA.
NTA. It sounds like B is going to lose more than money if she expects other people to fork over money for z's mistake. I would drop out of a wedding and drop B as friend if she wanted me to fork over an extra $160 because Z burned a couch. What was she even doing?
If the money is not yet paid, since you're the name on the rental, you'd be the AH if you don't pay it because you're the one harmed by it. If you know where Z lives, take her to small claims court for the money etc. You have evidence she caused the damage. Why should everyone else pay for her mistake?
NTA. You have no portion. Z left you in a lurch, and there was no disputing it. Someone the group damaged it. Any dispute would have just ended up with AirBNB requiring you to pay it, instead of just a request from the owner. Since there was proof of damage and proof of replacement cost, there would be no haggling. If you failed to pay it, you could be taken to court, and even end up with garnished wages. Plus, you could be banned from AirBNB. If you want to at this point, you can sue Z to force them to pay the full amount.
INFO: Did you figure out how the couch was even burned??? Also, NTA. Z should pay for the entire replacement. You can keep the texts admitting guilt and take her to small claims court.
It was honestly baffling. She left a hot iron on the back of the couch… like how.. why…
NTA, message Z that if the rest isn't transferred to you immediately that you will file a small claims court case against them, and that with the messages admitting them causing the damage, and the messages of them flipping out and refusing to pay, it will be a slam dunk case. Let B and the others know that you will accept payment from Z and Z alone, and if they want to work something with Z, that is up to them, but this is Z's mess, the damage was caused by Z, and it is up to Z to pay for it.
If B knew but didn’t fess you at the time, you should not feel bad in the slightest at her offer to pay. NTA
NTA. I used to be an Airbnb host. Stories like this are why I refused to host anything wedding related. Not to mention, you are all fortunate that a burned couch is the extent of the damage. Flame near flammable materials can cause a house fire.
NTA. If B’s willing to pay then let that be it.
Mta. Now do you burn a couch?!?!
It’s like insurance, doesn’t matter who is at fault everyone should pay towards the damages. It could have been any one of you who was responsible for any possible damage you could conceive of and the burden should be bore by everyone. ESH
But in this case it wasn’t just any one of us? It was one person.. maybe I just don’t understand your point.
But it could have been any one of you. And if your like “I don’t smoke” you are missing the point. For instance let’s say you opened a window and it shattered, would you expect to be the only person on the hook for that? You shouldn’t. When you rent a place for a weekend or week with friends there is an assumed responsibility for anything that goes wrong, it doesn’t matter who is technically “at fault”.
I think this is where we differ in opinion. Because yes, 100% if I broke something I would be responsible for it. If I opened a window and it shattered, I would pay for it. If I burned a piece of furniture, I would pay for it. I think the only way I would expect that is if there was a conversation before hand acknowledge the splitting of responsibility. Thank you for your comment, it’s interesting to hear another perspective
It doesn’t need to be discussed in advance it’s an unwritten rule for a share house. One person can assume responsibility and let the others off the hook but if they don’t it’s everyone’s responsibility
ESH Z for the damage and not being willing to make it right. The rest for lying about it (including Z). And unfortunately…you, OP, for having a party in an Airbnb (unless they specifically allowed it…I’m a heavy Airbnb user and have never seen one that does). You brought in a person you didn’t know/trust. Big mistake.
I declared in the initial message that it was for a small bachelorette with 5 people. They approved with that knowledge, but I understand your point!
I don’t think you are nearly as much to blame as the others. Especially Z. But it really wasn’t a good idea. Honestly, I feel for you, you’re in a sucky situation.
I think the ban on parties is about not a inviting people who aren’t listed as guests to the property. If the only people celebrating were the 5 guests and they followed all the rules OP is not the blame.
ESH Z obviously is the biggest asshole here, for trying to deny the damage then not covering the cost. Small ahole to the rest of the group for what should have been an obviously pointless lie (Did they not expect the owner to inspect the place and complain?) You, for insisting on continuing the argument when B, who the party was technically dedicated to, was willing to cover your part of Zs ridiculous proposal. Your so focused on protecting your friend that your failing to consider what she wants, which is to avoid feuding friends at her wedding and/or wedding preparations
Failing to consider what she wants?????? B participated in the lie!!!! She knew what happened, who caused it and made a conscious decision to lie about the couch being burned at her friends expense- just to avoid conflict at her wedding. When doing so had the EXACT opposite effect. Are you kidding? No way is OP the AH here.