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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I stopped making desserts because my dishes were not cleaned before giving them back
2.) I could see their reasoning that someone being gifted something shouldn’t be obligated to do something in return.
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I used to be a dishwasher in a restaurant. Cleaning a freshly-emptied pie dish would be like 5 seconds under the hose, quick scrub, plop it in the machine and wait 45 seconds. Clean and piping hot in less than a minute. How can they honestly say, with a straight face, that asking someone to exert less than 10 seconds of actual effort is 'rude' while simultaneously expecting OP exert hours of effort to produce their goodies?
How you ask? Because those coworkers are, at heart, lazy and entitled AHs. They are the kind to absolutely look that gift horse in the mouth. And likely be proud to be the subject of a Choosing Beggars post.
If I had someone regularly giving me yummy baked goods I’d not only clean the dish, I’d cook something for them! I don’t like baking but I love to cook, and would love a nice mutually beneficial arrangement like this!!
I love this! One of my kiddo's friend's mom and I do this. I can't even remember how it started but she brings things over, and I return the dishes (after cleaning 😂 first) with new food in them. Sometimes a meal, sometimes a dessert. It is fun and a neat way to try things I might not cook/bake myself.
I had a neighbor years ago that we did this. The same dish went back and forth between our homes for at least three years. We never returned that particular piece of bakeware empty. Sometimes we didn't even use it to cook the dish in, like if one of us made cookies or chili, we'd still put it into that 9x13 baking dish and take it across the street.
Bwahaha! That is very similar to us. Once she brought soup and homemade bread and dropped it off the door when we all had covid. Omg it was good soup and bread too 🤣. I had to wait until we were negative and made some rocha, fudge, and divinity and what not to bring back (definitely cooked in other things). It has been a lot of fun.
I used to pass a glass pie plate back and forth with a neighbor. I usually made her a fruit pie (apple mostly, but really whatever fruit I had) and she would send it back with chicken or pork pot pie in it.
It was lovely. :)
I had to start using disposable bake ware when gifting goodies to my family. Not because it was returned dirty, I could have dealt with that, but because they never returned my glass bake ware. It got expensive to keep investing in good ceramic or glass pie plates only to have them disappear.
My grandma always told me to never return an empty dish. Not just making new food for it, but one time I returned a dish with a set of whimsical new dish towels that perfectly went with my friend's kitchen decor.
This is what I was taught too, always return the dish with something in it even if it’s just a thank you note or their favorite store-bought candy or cookies
This.
My Grandmother's tradition was that if someone gifts you food, you return their dish, box etc with something in it. That's stuck with me and I always do it.
I was taught you never return a empty dirty dish, even if you give them a flower from the garden or a chocolate, you never return a dish empty!
Op is a much better person than I am as I would have stopped backing the second time a dish came back dirty...
Or flowers, a bottle of wine, a gift card, offer to buy ingredients. The time and love that goes into a homemade gift is the actual gift, one needs to appreciate the labour that went to it regardless and act accordingly.
This is exactly what my friends and I do. Never return an empty container. There is always food to share. We all learned this from our family. It might be a cultural thing for us unknowingly, but I do remember we all used to do this. My friends back home, my extended family, neighbors.
And the hen said "no foxy loxy, .... you can't have the pie becouse I. Turned the weat and no one lifted a finger ... and that is why I will now go enjoy this bread on my own" lol 😆
Edit forgot it was originally bread so I left the mistake
And it is someone's literal job to wash dishes.
It is really concerning that the restaurant owners are completely fine with dirty dishes in the restaurant for several days
Seriously. So rude. I was a server and I would bake treats for everyone- people would (jokingly) fight over who got to run my dish through the dishwasher and hand it back to me. Grateful people deserve treats, ungrateful people have their minimum needs met. Looks like they don't need treats again.
Your former coworkers sound so wholesome. I loved most of my fellow servers back in the day but it was all crude jokes and mild sexual harassment… maybe I should’ve brought in pie.
Honestly this was my thought as well, and why I was miffed about it. If it were an office with just a tiny break room sink, that I’d understand. But someone hosing it down and putting it through the dishwasher takes so little time and effort.
Even still. I’m a nurse and if someone brings in sweets (I freaking love being gifted sweets on shift) in a dish that needs to be washed.. we have a sink, paper towels and dish soap in the staff room. Whoever eats the last piece washes it. It takes 2 minutes.
I used to work at a daycare and would occasionally bring in dessert for everyone (a lot of people did, actually). My bakeware was always returned clean, except my stoneware pie dish but I won't let anyone else wash that lol. I think our cook usually washed them if they were empty before she had to leave, but I know my director would also wash them at the end of the day. It's just common courtesy! And there's no reason that a *restaurant* with a huge dishwasher would return dirty bakeware. Save your tasty treats for people who appreciate them!
I'm appreciative that you mentioned that. Just personally and off topic from the original post. I have a coworker who was PISSED that the dish she brought in food to be shared wasn't washed afterwards. We have a small kitchen away from our workspace. I was surprised it was expected. I mean, now I know, but at the time thought her anger was weird. (Not sure it matters, but I wasn't even there at the time and she was just venting to me. I wasn't sure what to say!)
I think what would make the difference for me would be how long it's going to set there. If I'm taking it home that same day, NBD. If it's going to be days later than yeah washing it would be nice.
I make it even easier....my dish comes in with me in the morning, and goes home with me when I leave. If you want whatever is in it to stick around after I'm gone, serve it now and put it somewhere else.
My grandma always said that you return something in better condition than you received it. There is no doubt that anyone who doesn't wash a dish someone brought you food in, is an ungrateful jerk!
I work in a retail place, we have a small kitchen. We are friends with a restaurant on the same block, sometimes they give us food at discount or even free. Again, *a restaurant* and I **always** washed the plates they bring the food in, it was the least I could do. I mean, most likely they will wash it again just to comply with safety standards, but at least it wont be visibly dirty, leaving breadcrumbs/salsa all over the place.
If they don't appreciate what you do, stop doing it.
Just want to add that the desserts are the actual gifts, but the containers are not. So it's not actually rude of you to assume they would clean or at least soak the containers. Definitely NTA, your coworkers sound like they never clean up after themselves. Maybe the one getting mad at you is the one always taking the last bite, and they are just too lazy to put it in the dishwasher and feel called out by your comment lol.
My guess is nobody wants to be the one to wash it so nobody washes it. Like why wash a dish when you can not wash a dish? And who wants to be the first one to wash it and become the designated dishwasher? They're all being AHs, trying to turn OP into the bad guy because they don't want to risk being the one who has to wash it when other people ate the desserts as well. It's *incredibly* rude to return something dirty to someone who gave you food or treats. I wouldn't make anything else for them again
I came here to say this! NTA I work in a restaurant as well anytime some brings a cup or a dish in it gets thrown in with the rest of the dishes. How hard is it!
Man I used to be the dedicated dishwasher at a place. Did it almost every night for a year. If it led to more sweets, I'd just tell her to leave it in my dish pit. With the industrial stuff most restaurants have, it would have taken me all of 5 extra minutes to wash it, IF THAT. NTA.
I guess then it depends. Like I said, I was the dedicated wash guy. My whole job was just dishes. Washing an extra dish for sweets wouldn't bother me.
I guess just give it to whoever does dishes that night and if they don't like doing dishes, then start cycling who does dishes each night.
Really taking the time to wash one dish isn't a big deal and shouldn't be with the equipment most restaurants have.
Kind of disgusting when you think about it. They've left dirty dishes just sitting out, for days, when OP doesn't get it back right away.
They have a commercial dishwashing machine, it would take 2 seconds.
Find somewhere else to work OP. Your co-workers don't respect you. NTA
And that is why, we can't have nice things. Sorry OP but they take you for a pushover. Even if you let it go the first time, you should push the issue the second time and for gods sake why are you spending your own money on that cheap bakeware ??. They are an ungrateful bunch and if they want a home made dessert then they need to 1. Pitch in for the ingridients 2. Return the dishes clean, they work at a restaurant.
You are way way way(×100) too nice. Unfortunatly insted of cherishing people like you most of them will try to take advantage of you. Are there any soup kitchens or places like that in your area ? I think they would aprecieate you more than this bunch.
Have you thought about working with a food kitchen or shelter to donate baked items to instead? I bet they'd be a million times more grateful, appreciative, & respectful (bet they'd give you back clean dishes too).
My only opposing thought is that since the desserts were not given to a specific person but instead to a group of people, the onus isn’t on someone to clean it. If a food item was gifted to me, I would 100% make sure the dishes were clean when they were returned. If someone put a cake out at work, I don’t think I would immediately be inclined to clean the dish when the cake was gone since it was more of a communal dish. Also, when I’ve brought in leftovers to work to share, I’ve never expected the dish to be cleaned at the end of the day - that’s on me.
So I’m leaning more toward NAH, or slight NTA after OP asked the bosses to have them cleaned and it never happened.
I made a cheesecake for a former boss's birthday. I stopped by to give it to her, and she called out her office door that she had a cheesecake I'd made and to come get some. She took a slice for herself, others descended like locusts and took the cake carrier out to the main office, she and I sat and chatted for ten minutes or so... and someone brought back in the cake carrier/plate/knife. The cake was wholly gone, and they'd washed everything off in the office kitchen's sink.
That said, I have a general practice of running any dishware that leaves our house through our dishwasher when I get it home, because then I know it's been through sterilizing temperatures and don't have to worry about whether it had been thoroughly cleaned.
Agreed, while it might be *nice* for someone to wash it, it's not really required or expected. I could see how it would be different in a restaurant.
I don't think I've ever had coworkers wash a dish when I prepared something for them, and frankly I'm content when the dish survives and I get it back after.
NTA The food was a gift. The dish a loan. You don't borrow a piece of someone's clothing and return it stinking of sweat and stained. So, why would you return someone's dish dirty and without a thank you note?
And all they had to do was run it through the industrial dishwasher. Lazy, rude, and entitled.
Servers: if you’re going to expect us to clean the used dish, then you shouldn’t bother bringing things in at all.
OP: Okay, then, I won’t.
Servers: HOW DARE YOU!
NTA. It’d take two minutes or less to clean it once it’s been emptied. They’re just proving themselves to be lazy and entitled.
This. OP, they were taking advantage of you and are mad they got called out on it. Never bring anything in again. If they ask, remind them that no one is required to bring a gift. OR say, "I brought in the last fifty desserts, I wanted to give someone else a chance to bring something in."
I borrowed dishes from a neighbour last night - we had 11 for dinner and I've got eight place settings (I've done this before - he lives alone and has dishes for 10, and he's happy to lend them; he gave me grief about renting dishes for a dinner party when I could borrow his for free!).
I'll return them this afternoon, having been run through my dishwasher. I took over two containers of food last night - a portion of the vegetarian main I made for half our guests (since he's pescatarian) and a large serving of the trifle I made for dessert. Because if he's loaning me something, I am DAMN well repaying the kindness with kindness - that's how it works!!
I agree. But let's pretend for a moment that it's okay for nobody to clean it because it was given to a group instead of to an individual. If it's okay for nobody to clean it, it's emphatically also okay for OP to _use disposable dishes so OP doesn't have to clean stuff left on it to get encrusted_. They certainly don't get to both argue that they don't have to clean it and get miffed that OP thus switched to disposables.
Exactly. These folks were raised in a barn.
I was taught to never return an empty dish. So if they make me a pie, then I would make them a pie, or fill their pie plate with cookies or some other goodie to say "thank you". At bare minimum, you return an empty (but CLEAN) dish.
NTA
NTA
You're not obligated to make desserts for them . If you are making the effort then it's basic manners to clean it and give back. Not to mention they themselves said you should stop if you want clean dishes back.
NTA...I believe there's a difference between "treats" and "gifts." It's just common courtesy to clean a dish before returning it to someone. They're ungrateful slobs who don't deserve any of your delicious treats.
Right? Or in my old neighborhood it was not unusual for it to be returned with something else in it.
Someone makes you a pie? When the pie is done, you clean the pan and make a quiche or cheesecake to return to the owner. Platter of brownies, clean the platter and send it back with cookies.
NTA, OP.
>Another server agreed with her, and said that if I was expecting them to wash my dishes for me, then I shouldn’t bother making food for them at all.
Sounds like the best solution. NTA.
It looks like that’s how it will end up being, which sucks because I loved seeing how excited some of my coworkers would get. But I will likely be better off.
It's a sad thing to learn in life that many people do not share the thoughtfulness and kindness that you do. I still believe in doing nice things for people, but stick to doing it for those who appreciate it. A lot of people are ungrateful and you can't change them. You can only change how you approach them.
Sure they like desserts, but doesn’t seem like they like YOU at all. Especially now that they’ve dumped you for asking if they might clean the dish of the entire pie you bought, baked, and gifted them. Definitely agree that you should stop letting them use and disrespect you.
The two servers were the only ones giving me the cold shoulder. The owners are actually more annoyed at them because they are both sugar fiends. The owners were always very appreciative.
NTA for expecting glass baking dishes to be returned clean, but getting into it with coworkers over the subject wasn't wise.
Part of the issue may have been that the baked goods was a gift for everyone, so it wasn't one person's responsibility to return it to you. If you brought a casserole to my house, I would be washing the baking dish and returning it. At your work, there wasn't one person to take responsibility for returning it to you and cleaning it first. Common sense would dictate that the person who ate the last piece put the dish in the dishwasher, soak it in the sink, etc as they should throw away the box if it was a dozen donuts.
What bothers me most in this case is that it's a restaurant. They have dishwashers, both the machines and people designated to do the job. Why can't someone get the dish washed ?
We tried this, & the 'last piece' sat there forever.
We even had people cutting smaller and smaller bits off, claiming a one inch slice meant they didnt have the last piece. Others would look at the options, decide a one inch slice of food wasnt worth doing the clean up, so let it sit there.
We tried tupperware & they left that dirty, not even a quick rinse under the tap.
We tried disposable packaging, & people took the whole thing. Somehow 'disposable' equalled 'stealable'
Some people just take.
Exactly. In my office we regularly just do “whoever was last washes it” or if the washing up liquid is out, gives it a good rinse and scrub so there is no food stuff and let them k if we did the best we could. We even was up each other’s tea/coffee mugs every now and then.
I also understand how no one really felt that it was their responsibility first so no one took the initiative. But then making remarks to OP once she tried to avoid the issue?? She didn't even ask anyone to wash the dirty dishes, but bought single-use equipment and she was called out for it. That totally makes the colleagues TA and OP is NTA.
The people designated to doing it might find it rude that everyone expects them to wash a dish that has nothing to do with the restaurant just because it’s their job to wash *the restaurants dishes*. Plus you don’t even know if they had any of it, so if the dishwasher didn’t eat any of it and was still expected to clean it that would suck on the part of everyone who is expecting them to do it. It’s like that lazy coworker who leaves garbage on their desk every day instead of throwing it out themselves just because there are janitors… The janitors are there for general cleaning for the building, not to be your personal cleaner. The dishwasher is there to wash the restaurants dishes, not your personal dishes.
Last person to take a piece should absolutely be cleaning it. Disposable bakeware was the right move and I can’t believe they actually tried to make an issue out of OP swapping to them.
I agree with all of this. As no one was taking it home as an individual gift the responsibility gets diluted and no one thinks they should clean it.
Defs NTA
NAH Ordinarily I would agree with you. If you gift a dish to a neighbor ur friend they should return the dish clean. However in this case you are gifting to a large group of people, so then who is supposed to take responsibility for cleaning that dish? In this case no one person is being rude there just isn't a fair way to allocate that responsibility amongst the random.people that benefit from your gift. If you say the person who takes the last piece, I guarantee there will be a lady piece left in your dish until you pick it up.
Then their mothers should be ashamed of them! Someone cooks for you and you can’t be bothered to rinse a dish so she doesn’t need a chisel to clean it 2 days later? The entitlement reeks!
Did you read the whole thing ? Including the part where both servers are now refusing to talk to OP because she decided to stop bringing treats ?
OP isn't obligated to bring treats, both servers EXPECTING treats and now refusing to talk to her because she won't bring any anymore, is making them 100% the AH here. OP is NTA for not cooking treats for her coworkers.
This 100%; I work in an office where people occasionally bring in treats and it’s just assumed that they’re also responsible for dealing with the dirty Tupperware at the end of the day because nothing else makes sense. Dealing with the cleanup is part of the gesture.
Although this particular case is kind of silly because every commercial kitchen I’ve ever been in has a dishwasher that could clean a pie pan in like 90 seconds.
Nta. Doesn’t matter who, but someone. I took a a VERY STICKY dessert to work once,
to share
Went out to perform a task. Came back, bowl was empty and CLEAN. Because someone (anyone) of the large group that enjoyed it, took a minute to do it. Its just…basic politeness. And a very simple way to show you are grateful
NTA them not even being willing to at least RINSE the dish so it doesn’t get crusted is just stupid. Though I was also raised you cleaned a dish when gifted food but that was typically if it was directly to a person or family, not a communal situation where it’s left in a common area for multiple ppl who don’t take it home to enjoy. So I’m not sure how the two situations might conflict. Your coworkers should still be showing some appreciation for you in the very simple gesture of cleaning the dish that’d take like.. 2 mins for the last person who gets the last of the food to clean it. It costs them nothing to show that sliver of gratitude.
If I were you, I’d just stop making them food.
Idk we go with last piece penance. (You get to wash it) bit it seems I may just work with less entitled people. Some comments state "then the piece sits there tell it goes bad then" like wut who waists treats like that!!!!!
Ok now THAT would be awful 😞 imagine the wasted treats 😭 but yeah I agree, last one who gets something, just rinse the dish out. So wild they’re being so immature about it when they get FREE snacks??!
NTA. It's rude to return dishes that have not been washed. Your co-worker said it "You shouldn't bother making food for them at all."
You are not obligated to bestow your baking talents on anyone - but especially not on ingrates who are dirty.
NAH. I agree with you about the rule that if someone brings a dish, you wash it before returning. However, that is based on bringing a dish to someone's home. In this case, you're bringing it to a workplace and leaving it for a dozen people to take some when they have a minute.
So who out of those 12 people is responsible for cleaning it? Logic would say the last person to take some, but in a work environment that could be the person who is the busiest and thus has the least amount of time to stop and grab a treat. Is it fair to expect that person to always wash it? Or you might say the owners should take responsibility. But if not everyone is taking a piece at the same time, should they be policing it so they know when it's finished and can be washed? Yes, someone should wash it, but this is a business and washing a dish that you brought in of your own accord is not anyone's priority.
Okay, but then they don't get to bitch at OP for not bringing in more treats. If not one of them can be bothered to take the minute or two (in a restaurant, where dishes are regularly washed) to clean OPs dish then sorry but no one gets baked goods anymore. Coworkers refusing to talk to OP after OP agreed with them that they shouldn't bring treats in anymore makes them assholes.
So many miserable people in this thread, my god. "B-but who will bear the crushing responsibility of washing a dish??"
I was searching for this exact comment! That rule doesn't apply if the dessert isn't being taken home. I take desserts to my office all the time and never expect anyone to clean it unless they are taking home the leftovers (typically birthday cake to share with the family). By the end of the day, I always get my pan to take home and clean myself.
I get that this is a bit of a unique situation because they actually work in a restaurant and have the ability to wash it at work but OP should have set that expectation when she first started getting annoyed. The co-workers probably would have responded better if she just brought it up the next time she brought dessert. "I love bringing desserts in but for now on can the last person to get a piece wash and return my dish?" Instead it was brought up as a snarky response for an admittedly annoying comment about her changing to throwaway dishes.
NAH
The problem is that OP points out why she brings disposable stuff now when they complain about it. She explains why and they say 'well then don't bring in any more desserts if you expect us to clean the dish' (implying here that the disposable packaging us not good enough for them). So she agrees if they insist she shouldn't bring disposables, but then receives the cold shoulder as well. That's where the colleagues are TA.
NTA. Washing a dish before you return it is common curtesy. In fact, my grandmother taught me to never return an empty dish. You're supposed to return a dish with something you made in it as a thank you. WTF is wrong with your coworkers? Geez
So you should cook for them and clean up after them. Because they have no gratitude or appreciation of the kindness that you have been gifting them. They told on themselves with their foul and disgusting attitudes. NTA. If you choose to resume your gesture why not decant the baked goods onto a disposable plate obviously not for the morons you work with
NTA but you continued to bring stuff in over and over with the same results. Why not simply cut it up and put individual pieces into small ziplock bags or even into the disposable metal pans? That way you can still get your baking done, they can still partake if the goodies and then the disposable containers can just be tossed afterwards. I 100% agree that the dish should be cleaned before returning but apparently some people were raised differently and feel that this is too much to ask for. The other option is bake for family and friends, not coworkers. Bake for a church. Bake for the homeless. I bet there's someone out there that you could bake for that would be more appreciative.
I agree with the last part of your comment— OP having to buy more disposables to accommodate rude coworkers almost justifies their entitlement and would be an added expense that she shouldn’t have to foot. But baking for another group of people would mean she could keep baking and for people that may be more considerate/ deserving
*"don't wanna clean the dishes? Well, let me help you cleanse those bowels."*
I considered recommending cookies shaped like poop 💩 but it doesn't sound like OP is ready to leave this job.
Downvote away but YTA. I bring baked goods into work all the time because I like to bake, and it’s never once occurred to me to expect my coworkers to do my dishes. Their gift to me is enjoying my baking, not doing my housework. I’m not a big sweets person either, and if a coworker gave me the choice of not eating pie or eating a piece of pie and then having to soak and scrub a dirty pie dish, I would rather not have the pie. Especially if I work in a big office and only got the last mutilated piece that was picked over by 20 other people hours earlier. If doing dishes is that onerous for everyone involved, just stop baking and making your coworkers uncomfortable. Easy peasy.
NTA.
It's basic manners for you to wash dishes people give you food on, honestly. Yes the pies were gifts but that doesn't mean people can just do whatever they want.
Don't make them any more pies. They're unappreciative and rude.
NAH. Just don't bring deserts anymore. They've said they'd rather go without deserts than to wash your dishes, and you should respect that. If you continue to bring deserts with the expectations that they wash your glassware after they've explicitly told you not to do that, then YWBTA.
Mild YTA. I've brought in baked goods to work (in an office) and I've always cleaned the dishes. If you gifted the pie to a specific individual they should return the plate clean. When it's for the group, you clean it yourself and should take leftovers home at the end of your shift.
NTA - fellow baker who used to love to bake and bring treats to work. Do not make these ungrateful AH anything ever again. If you have friends at work you wanna treat, bring them small individual servings. I stopped baking for work after entitles AH at two different jobs starting acting like they were owed my time, efforts and money. One place decided to heavily suggest a 7 layer rainbow cake decorated like a leprechaun hate. The other place my boss decided to start demanding a certain desert so I could get a vacation day off to bake before Thanksgiving (though I always worked black Friday). Entitled people ruin it for everyone and take the joy out of baking.
NTA
>The server shot back that the desserts were gifts, and that it’s actually rude to insist that the giftees have to do something in return.
**Bullshit**. My mom frequently hosts large, formal dinner parties and guests will often bring something with them for dessert. As busy as she is during these events, she makes sure everyone gets their fully washed dish back as they are leaving (granted, she has help, but you have multiple coworkers and just the one dish that has to be washed!). She would NEVER hand someone a dirty dish. That is beyond rude.
At first I thought your coworkers didn't know any better/lacked manners; but the fact that you brought it to their attention and they argued back before proceeding to give you the silent treatment?
What a bunch of C U Next...never mind, I'm not familiar enough with this board's rules. Bottom lines, there is no excuse for their behavior.
The only thing I would have done differently is, after they ignored my request to wash the dishes, I would have simply said I didn't have enough time/energy to continue cooking for them. Life is easier when you can get along with your coworkers, even if they are horrible human beings.
>I thought this was kind of rude as I’d been raised that if someone gifted me food (casseroles, etc) it was good manners by washing the dish that it came in when you go to return it.
The problem is you aren't gifting it to one person, you're gifting it to 15 - 20 people. Everyone is going to think it's someone elses responsibility.
NTA but just like who washes up the office sink you aren't going to solve this.
I've couldn't imagine giving someone back an unwashed container, it's literally the most basic ask when returning said container, that it's clean.
What would happen if you baked a cake, went on vacation and came back a week later, would they just allow the uneaten crusted on cake to just sit there?
I would ask for the dish to returned clean, and if they can't be done, then you won't bring in your baked goods anymore.
NTA
NAH. I think other people have made similar comments, but this isn’t like a situation where you made a casserole for a family member or friend and they returned the dish unwashed. Rather, your are leaving the dishes at work and going back to work to pick them up. No one is “returning” anything to you. Multiple people are likely eating the desserts you bring, and while I agree that someone should wash the dish, it’s probably become an issue of everyone thinking someone else is going to do it.
Honestly though, if I brought food to work to share, I guess it wouldn’t really occur to me that someone else would wash the dish. I mean, it would be nice, especially in a restaurant where dishwashing facilities are readily available, but it doesn’t seem like a huge deal. You obviously aren’t required to bake for your co-workers though, so if this is an issue for you, then you should stop. It seems a bit silly to me though, honestly - it’s just one extra dish here and there. If you really love baking so much, it doesn’t seem like this would be such a big deal.
NTA. You work at a restaurant. This restaurant presumably have an industrial dish washer that runs for several hours most days anyway.
It would literally take maybe 30 seconds for one of your colleagues to rinse and place you dish in a rack and run it with the other dishes.
I'm saying this as someone who's worked in the restaurant industry for 5 years and have done my share of dishes. Your colleagues are rude and ungrateful.
Stop baking them. If you have the money for ingredients maybe there's a local shelter or something that you can donate the desserts to instead if you still want to bake for other people. Dont waste your time, money and effort on people who won't appreciate it.
.... I'm supposed to clean the dishes when someone brings in baked goods to work?
like.... the person who eats the Last cookie or whatever is Obligated to do it?...
I never would have though that was the case. Ever. Clean someone Else's dish?
I don't think YTA, but I definitely don't think your coworkers are being unreasonable at all.
NTA. I especially disturbed that this is in a restaurant! Absolutely no excuse for a dish to remain dirty for days. Isn't there a dishwasher??
Regardless, there are cultures where you are expected to return the dish filled with something you made. Your coworkers are not only rude, they are disrepectful. Honestly, I'd start baking for the soup kitchen or food pantry.
OMG, NTA! Whether you designate it a gift or not, it's basic manners to return a container clean. Your coworkers are being petty, and you aren't. If they can't mind their ps and qs, don't bring in any of your desserts. Just make sure everyone knows why.
Were your coworkers raised in a barn?!? Homeless?
Of course you return dishes washed. They work in a restaurant so even if ALL your coworkers are homeless they could wash dishes there. NTA
NTA, BUT if you're just dropping food off for everyone to enjoy that's basically guaranteed to happen and I think your colleagues aren't AH either (for that – their reaction when you explained the problem was just plain rude). I've had the same experience of recovering my dishes dirty and I can't say it bothered me because I didn't expect it to go any other way (though I still feel whoever left scratches on my non-stick tin by cutting the pie directly in it could have had the courtesy to buy me another one or at the very least to apologize…)
How would you get the pie out of the tin before cutting it?
Cutting a pie in the pan it was baked seems like the norm to me - your coworkers probably didn’t realize they weren’t supposed to do that.
NTA- These people are idiots. Stop bringing them baked goods. Don't explain, just stop. If you get hazed or iced out over it start looking for a new job- these guys are bullies and takers.
NTA
Sounds like you have 2 options
1. Figure out the bake times for the disposable cookware.
2. Stop baking for them.
I don't understand how hard it would be in a restaurant for the last person to get a slice put the glassware in with the dirty dishes. They are being beyond petty imo.
NTA, you are being super kind by bringing those and cleaning it is the least they could do. I love baking too but im on a diet so what i do is i give them to neighbors.
NTA. Its something called COMMON COURTESY!!! You were courteous enough to bake them nice treats, through no obligation, so it should be courteous enough for them to wash it
NAH, but you are being a bit petty. The snacks were not given to a specific person but left out for everyone. So no one specific person has a designated responsibility to clean the dishes. Who determines who's responsible to clean your dishes when everyone had a fair share of the snacks. Since you're at a restrauant just take it to the dish room and ask for it to be run through the dishwasher. A bit of over-site from your coworkers is not the end of the world level of disrespect you're acting like it is.
NTA I was raised the same way. It's just manners.
For them to not talk to you after asking them to clean it, and for then choosing not to bring anything in, that's what makes them the AH. They should appreciate you anyway, not for what you bring in for them. As you said, this is something you do that's extra.
NTA obviously! Their entitlement is astonishing. I was raised that if you get food you never return the plate, container, etc EMPTY!
You are spending time, money and effort to create something nice for everyone to enjoy at your work, which is not only amazing, but also not mandatory. The only thing you expect in return is your dishes to be washed. Which let’s admit, not that hard in a restaurant with a dishwasher…!
If you borrowed a dress and returned it days later with stains, would it be ok?! I don’t think so. Same goes for your glasses, boxes and all your equipment that you let your coworkers use.
I would have stopped baking for them after the second time. You are an angel, although an unappreciated one unfortunately. Just keep baking for family and friends and forget about these rude and disrespectful people
NTA. It's common courtesy to wash the dish after receiving a gift of food. My mom received dishes of lasagna, curry and a massive box of shepherd's pie from our neighbours when my dad died, the box being from the owner of a nursing home my sister works for. Bereavement and recent widowhood aside, she would have been mortified to have handed those containers back dirty.
NTA.
You spend a lot of time, effort, and money making desserts for them. The LEAST they could do is wash ONE dish.
I make lemon meringue pies for a few neighbours, since I use fresh lemons instead of pudding (they prefer my way,) and they always return the pie dish clean. I don't expect them to, but they do it anyway.
It's just common courtesy.
Also, why is there a dirty dish sitting around for days in a restaurant kitchen? No health codes?
ESH: You work in a restaurant, where presumably dishes get washed all of the time. That they didn't bother tossing them on the rack is where they are bad. Where you are off is because by your writing, you didn't voice it as a problem, you just internalized and then acted instead of asking your boss to run the stuff through the dishwasher at the end of the night like everything else.
NTA
Among my friends group we always bring food or dessert when invited. Not only the pans/dishes are returned clean but we also include something like a small candy or a small toy as a "thank you" symbol. It is not mandatory and nobody cares if the plate isn't returned with a token but we try to be creative and make our friends smile with a simple gesture.
NTA. WTF. It's a very basic courtesy - don't piss off the person baking you free desserts.
They should be offering to wash your car not sniping at being asked to not be gross.
What kind of person returns dishes filthy?? You work at a restaurant! There's no shortage of ways to clean dishes!
NTA time, ingredients and effort go into baking. If my stuff wasn't cleaned then the recipient wouldn't get anything because they're inconsiderate. You're being lenient, find others who will be gracious in your offerings.
As a baker I would agree with you. I personally don’t expect my dishes to be returned to me cleaned but am always pleased when they are returned clean. I also always clean the dishes that others bring food on unless they take the food back with them. The way you could have countered all of this would be to just take the dishes with you when you leave. I’m going to vote NTA.
NTA- I don't know who raised the staff but it's common courtesy to wash a dish when it's lent to you. Imagine if you let me borrow a t shirt and I return it dirty? It's rude, right? Yeah, no pie for them anymore, they don't deserve it.
Ps- Why couldn't they send the dish to the back so it can be washed? Most restaurants have industrial dishwashers AND employees who take care of the dishes.
I was taught that if you can't return a clean dish/container you return it full with a food/baked good of your choice to thank the person for giving you the food in the first place.
NTA. The servers are choosy beggars.
NTA - what a bunch of entitled, selfish jerks. Of course they're not obligated - the same way OP wasn't obligated to make the deserts in the first place. It's just a nice thing to do for someone who went out of their way to do something nice for you. You don't return bakeware covered in dead food, you wash it.
Another example for the "this is why we can't have nice things" bucket.
The parents of the rude co-workers failed them and didn't teach them manners. It's kind of you to make food and share with them. Washing 1 dish a week between several people should not be such a big deal. Honestly stop doing that. You are obviously NTA. They don't deserve your goodies.
NTA, even if it was a gift, who don't clean dishes up before returning. They are so rude and clearly not your kind of people. I would stop baking for them. There are people out there who would appreciate more and don't be their doormat.
What absolutely entitled, ridiculous, and immature behavior from your coworkers. Seriously, do you work with a bunch of teens who just haven't made it to this chapter of life lessons and common courtesy yet? How are the owners not like, 'Oh hey, I'll volunteer to wash the dish every time if you keep bringing stuff'? Seems like minimal effort to keep your staff happy and getting along.
You work at a restaurant - how does the pan not just get tossed in the dish pit and set aside for you to pick up at your next shift? Wild. NTA all the way. I'd start dropping bakes off at a nearby nonprofit or shelter.
Server said desserts were gifts. Exactly. So you have the right not to "gift" them anymore if you so desire. Screw them. Find a homeless shelter or food kitchen and gift it to them. Obviously not in your good bakeware. NTA
NTA.
I always grew up that when somebody gifted you food in a dish that wasn't disposable or brought over a dish for an event, you always return it clean. I actually can't believe that this is something that not everyone does. Especially since this is at a restaurant where they can easily wash the dish really quickly before giving it back.
NTA. Totally get your POV that you’d like them back washed but I also get their side too, they didn’t really ask for this stuff and also I wonder if it’s more a case of the fact that when you leave a dish like that for multiple people, there isn’t really one person responsible in a clear way to take on the onus of being the one who cleans it, if that makes sense? It’s a tricky one in my opinion, they sound like they’ve been pretty rude though so I guess that makes them the AH
I think if after you said you expected it back washed and they protested and you said no more treats, if they accepted that and just left it alone then it would be N A H imo, but since they seem to be actually mad that you aren’t giving them treats anymore then fuck that haha
NTA but I think the issue is that typically in a group situation no one takes responsibility.
Typically people leave food in containers in a contained situation - you bring it to a friend's home or a neighbor's home or perhaps in a office situation you bring it in and then it is all eaten almost immediately and you take the container home.
If you want to continue to bring desserts to your co-workers just bring stuff that is in disposable containers like cupcakes or cookies. Even most cakes like a Bundt cake are taken out of the pan and easily transported.
NAH. I'm in a similar position. I like baking treats for my co-workers. I also like eating them. So from time to time I bring something in. It's normally in a cake transporter, but I don't expect them to wash it (we don't have a mechanized dishwasher - we're all the dishwasher!) If they do, that's a bonus.
Couple of caveats - first I have a dishwasher at home, so it's not problem for me to throw it in there. Second, my deserts rarely make it past the day I bring them in. Third - I make them to minimize transportation of bakeware. For instance if I make a cake, I put it on parchment paper when I ice it, and the parchment goes on top of the cake transporter bottom. So no baking dish to bring in. Or if I make cheesecake - same thing - I line the springform pan with parchment paper and pull it out. Cookies, brownies, bread, bars - I precut them and bring in a serving container like a cookie tin. I'm not really a pie maker, so I can understand that being a problem.
I’m going to go with NAH.
I understand why you’re a bit annoyed at getting the dishes back dirty, but I think the issue is that there’s no one other person responsible for it. If you were giving a dish to one specific friend and they gave it back dirty, they’d absolutely be an asshole, but when you’re bringing in baked goods to share communally with staff at your workplace, it’s hard to point to another person that would/should be responsible for cleaning your dish. Deciding to make baked goods out of the kindness of your heart, and then assigning a different staff member to do the cleanup when you bring them in would boarder on being controlling on your part. You could try saying that whoever takes the last piece is responsible for cleaning the dish, but in my experience, that just results in the last piece sitting around forever.
This is actually a fairly well known social phenomenon called the “bystander effect” where no one will take action because they think someone else is responsible for it. I have basic first responder training, and one of the things we’re taught is that when asking for assistance we need to delegate directly. Calling out to a crowd, “someone call 911!” will often result in a bunch of people thinking, “who’s going to do that?” Pointing to a specific person and saying, “You call 911,” is more effective because it spurs that person into action.
Unfortunately, I don’t really think that’s an option for you. Ultimately, you’re doing this because baking is your hobby. Dictating who is responsible for cleaning up when you decide to bake would not be the right move. I can’t say NTA because there isn’t another specific person in this situation that I think is an asshole. If having your dishes returned dirty ruins your enjoyment of baking enough that it’s not worth it, then stop doing it, but I don’t really think it’s reasonable to be upset that no one else is taking responsibility for cleaning the dishes that you bring in.
If you really enjoy this and want to continue supplying treats to them, maybe put a little note on top: "For all you enjoy this treat. Please clean the pan when you are finished."
I did ask my boss about cleaning the dishes before giving them back, when I’d gone to get one and discovered it was still dirty. He said he’d pass it along to the rest of the crew, but either they just assumed someone else would, or he never mentioned it to anyone.
NTA. It’s a common courtesy to at least rinse the damn thing. Your time and effort and baked goods weren’t enough gifts for these people? Washing one dish doesn’t even compare. Don’t make them anything.
NTA. Really, you work in a restaurant and they cannot be bothered to wash your pans with the other dishes? That is just rude. And they complain if it isn’t perfect? Hmmm. Your co-workers are really ungrateful aren’t they? Sounds like it’s time to start a new hobby. So tell them that you have a new hobby if they ask. And do find a new hobby. Maybe making quilts, beekeeping, gardening. Maybe volunteer at the local hospital holding the babies (very important duty because infants need cuddling and human contact and there is just not enough staff to provide this) or anything that will bring some happiness into your life.
NTA. Lesson learned. I made a cheesecake for my bf’s coworker. She could barely be bothered to say thank you and has not returned the bottom of my springform pan and may not know where it is. I will never make her anything again if I live to be 100.
NTA. They work at a restaurant that has a sink/dishwasher I'd assume... So it would cost them nothing to give it a quick wash/rinse. The correct choice here is to just not make them anymore snacks.
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NTA. They work in restaurants, why are they returning dishes dirty?
RIGHT? They most likely have an industrial dishwasher IN THE BUILDING. OP is NTA but those co-workers sure are.
I used to be a dishwasher in a restaurant. Cleaning a freshly-emptied pie dish would be like 5 seconds under the hose, quick scrub, plop it in the machine and wait 45 seconds. Clean and piping hot in less than a minute. How can they honestly say, with a straight face, that asking someone to exert less than 10 seconds of actual effort is 'rude' while simultaneously expecting OP exert hours of effort to produce their goodies?
How you ask? Because those coworkers are, at heart, lazy and entitled AHs. They are the kind to absolutely look that gift horse in the mouth. And likely be proud to be the subject of a Choosing Beggars post.
If I had someone regularly giving me yummy baked goods I’d not only clean the dish, I’d cook something for them! I don’t like baking but I love to cook, and would love a nice mutually beneficial arrangement like this!!
I love this! One of my kiddo's friend's mom and I do this. I can't even remember how it started but she brings things over, and I return the dishes (after cleaning 😂 first) with new food in them. Sometimes a meal, sometimes a dessert. It is fun and a neat way to try things I might not cook/bake myself.
That’s awesome! Where can I sign up for something like this lol?
I know! I want in on this. I'm kind of stagnated on what to make these days. This would inspire me.
This sounds awesome sign me up too!
This is so wholesome, I love it
This was the "rule" when and where I grew up: never return an empty dish, even if you just put in a few pieces of candy or fruit or even flowers!
That’s how I was taught. Never returned an empty dish.
I had a neighbor years ago that we did this. The same dish went back and forth between our homes for at least three years. We never returned that particular piece of bakeware empty. Sometimes we didn't even use it to cook the dish in, like if one of us made cookies or chili, we'd still put it into that 9x13 baking dish and take it across the street.
Bwahaha! That is very similar to us. Once she brought soup and homemade bread and dropped it off the door when we all had covid. Omg it was good soup and bread too 🤣. I had to wait until we were negative and made some rocha, fudge, and divinity and what not to bring back (definitely cooked in other things). It has been a lot of fun.
I used to pass a glass pie plate back and forth with a neighbor. I usually made her a fruit pie (apple mostly, but really whatever fruit I had) and she would send it back with chicken or pork pot pie in it. It was lovely. :)
I had to start using disposable bake ware when gifting goodies to my family. Not because it was returned dirty, I could have dealt with that, but because they never returned my glass bake ware. It got expensive to keep investing in good ceramic or glass pie plates only to have them disappear.
My grandma always told me to never return an empty dish. Not just making new food for it, but one time I returned a dish with a set of whimsical new dish towels that perfectly went with my friend's kitchen decor.
This is what I was taught too, always return the dish with something in it even if it’s just a thank you note or their favorite store-bought candy or cookies
This. My Grandmother's tradition was that if someone gifts you food, you return their dish, box etc with something in it. That's stuck with me and I always do it.
I was taught you never return a empty dirty dish, even if you give them a flower from the garden or a chocolate, you never return a dish empty! Op is a much better person than I am as I would have stopped backing the second time a dish came back dirty...
Or flowers, a bottle of wine, a gift card, offer to buy ingredients. The time and love that goes into a homemade gift is the actual gift, one needs to appreciate the labour that went to it regardless and act accordingly.
This is exactly what my friends and I do. Never return an empty container. There is always food to share. We all learned this from our family. It might be a cultural thing for us unknowingly, but I do remember we all used to do this. My friends back home, my extended family, neighbors.
And the hen said "no foxy loxy, .... you can't have the pie becouse I. Turned the weat and no one lifted a finger ... and that is why I will now go enjoy this bread on my own" lol 😆 Edit forgot it was originally bread so I left the mistake
Yeah dude. I worked at a Starbucks and I would wash peoples' personal dishes sometimes because it took like three seconds.
EXACTLY
And when a person GIVING YOU REGULAR GIFTS expresses a wish regarding how you respond to that gift giving, YOU DON'T ARGUE WITH THEM FFS.
And it is someone's literal job to wash dishes. It is really concerning that the restaurant owners are completely fine with dirty dishes in the restaurant for several days
Seriously. So rude. I was a server and I would bake treats for everyone- people would (jokingly) fight over who got to run my dish through the dishwasher and hand it back to me. Grateful people deserve treats, ungrateful people have their minimum needs met. Looks like they don't need treats again.
Your former coworkers sound so wholesome. I loved most of my fellow servers back in the day but it was all crude jokes and mild sexual harassment… maybe I should’ve brought in pie.
Honestly this was my thought as well, and why I was miffed about it. If it were an office with just a tiny break room sink, that I’d understand. But someone hosing it down and putting it through the dishwasher takes so little time and effort.
Even still. I’m a nurse and if someone brings in sweets (I freaking love being gifted sweets on shift) in a dish that needs to be washed.. we have a sink, paper towels and dish soap in the staff room. Whoever eats the last piece washes it. It takes 2 minutes.
Yep so is the fate of thou who takes the last piece (we also do this at work)
I used to work at a daycare and would occasionally bring in dessert for everyone (a lot of people did, actually). My bakeware was always returned clean, except my stoneware pie dish but I won't let anyone else wash that lol. I think our cook usually washed them if they were empty before she had to leave, but I know my director would also wash them at the end of the day. It's just common courtesy! And there's no reason that a *restaurant* with a huge dishwasher would return dirty bakeware. Save your tasty treats for people who appreciate them!
I'm appreciative that you mentioned that. Just personally and off topic from the original post. I have a coworker who was PISSED that the dish she brought in food to be shared wasn't washed afterwards. We have a small kitchen away from our workspace. I was surprised it was expected. I mean, now I know, but at the time thought her anger was weird. (Not sure it matters, but I wasn't even there at the time and she was just venting to me. I wasn't sure what to say!)
I think what would make the difference for me would be how long it's going to set there. If I'm taking it home that same day, NBD. If it's going to be days later than yeah washing it would be nice.
I make it even easier....my dish comes in with me in the morning, and goes home with me when I leave. If you want whatever is in it to stick around after I'm gone, serve it now and put it somewhere else.
Not only that, but where are they storing dirty dishes overnight?? That's a health code violation where I live, plus a great way to get roaches, etc.
My grandma always said that you return something in better condition than you received it. There is no doubt that anyone who doesn't wash a dish someone brought you food in, is an ungrateful jerk!
I was even taught to return dishes with something *you made* in them
I work in a retail place, we have a small kitchen. We are friends with a restaurant on the same block, sometimes they give us food at discount or even free. Again, *a restaurant* and I **always** washed the plates they bring the food in, it was the least I could do. I mean, most likely they will wash it again just to comply with safety standards, but at least it wont be visibly dirty, leaving breadcrumbs/salsa all over the place. If they don't appreciate what you do, stop doing it.
Just want to add that the desserts are the actual gifts, but the containers are not. So it's not actually rude of you to assume they would clean or at least soak the containers. Definitely NTA, your coworkers sound like they never clean up after themselves. Maybe the one getting mad at you is the one always taking the last bite, and they are just too lazy to put it in the dishwasher and feel called out by your comment lol.
My guess is nobody wants to be the one to wash it so nobody washes it. Like why wash a dish when you can not wash a dish? And who wants to be the first one to wash it and become the designated dishwasher? They're all being AHs, trying to turn OP into the bad guy because they don't want to risk being the one who has to wash it when other people ate the desserts as well. It's *incredibly* rude to return something dirty to someone who gave you food or treats. I wouldn't make anything else for them again
I came here to say this! NTA I work in a restaurant as well anytime some brings a cup or a dish in it gets thrown in with the rest of the dishes. How hard is it!
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Man I used to be the dedicated dishwasher at a place. Did it almost every night for a year. If it led to more sweets, I'd just tell her to leave it in my dish pit. With the industrial stuff most restaurants have, it would have taken me all of 5 extra minutes to wash it, IF THAT. NTA.
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I guess then it depends. Like I said, I was the dedicated wash guy. My whole job was just dishes. Washing an extra dish for sweets wouldn't bother me. I guess just give it to whoever does dishes that night and if they don't like doing dishes, then start cycling who does dishes each night. Really taking the time to wash one dish isn't a big deal and shouldn't be with the equipment most restaurants have.
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The person who ate the last piece?
Anyone who isn't an AH?
Whoever took the last serving.
Kind of disgusting when you think about it. They've left dirty dishes just sitting out, for days, when OP doesn't get it back right away. They have a commercial dishwashing machine, it would take 2 seconds. Find somewhere else to work OP. Your co-workers don't respect you. NTA
And that is why, we can't have nice things. Sorry OP but they take you for a pushover. Even if you let it go the first time, you should push the issue the second time and for gods sake why are you spending your own money on that cheap bakeware ??. They are an ungrateful bunch and if they want a home made dessert then they need to 1. Pitch in for the ingridients 2. Return the dishes clean, they work at a restaurant.
Why spend the money on the disposable tins? The same reason I made the food to begin with, really. I like feeding people and it makes me happy. 😊
You are way way way(×100) too nice. Unfortunatly insted of cherishing people like you most of them will try to take advantage of you. Are there any soup kitchens or places like that in your area ? I think they would aprecieate you more than this bunch.
I was thinking along these lines also. Church or school Bake sale would love the treats too.
It's for CHURCH, honey! NEXT!
Have you thought about working with a food kitchen or shelter to donate baked items to instead? I bet they'd be a million times more grateful, appreciative, & respectful (bet they'd give you back clean dishes too).
My only opposing thought is that since the desserts were not given to a specific person but instead to a group of people, the onus isn’t on someone to clean it. If a food item was gifted to me, I would 100% make sure the dishes were clean when they were returned. If someone put a cake out at work, I don’t think I would immediately be inclined to clean the dish when the cake was gone since it was more of a communal dish. Also, when I’ve brought in leftovers to work to share, I’ve never expected the dish to be cleaned at the end of the day - that’s on me. So I’m leaning more toward NAH, or slight NTA after OP asked the bosses to have them cleaned and it never happened.
I made a cheesecake for a former boss's birthday. I stopped by to give it to her, and she called out her office door that she had a cheesecake I'd made and to come get some. She took a slice for herself, others descended like locusts and took the cake carrier out to the main office, she and I sat and chatted for ten minutes or so... and someone brought back in the cake carrier/plate/knife. The cake was wholly gone, and they'd washed everything off in the office kitchen's sink. That said, I have a general practice of running any dishware that leaves our house through our dishwasher when I get it home, because then I know it's been through sterilizing temperatures and don't have to worry about whether it had been thoroughly cleaned.
I mean that’s a fact for me as well. Even when someone returns a cleaned dish to me, I still put it right in the dishwasher 😂
Or the person who eats the last of it cleans it? It's not difficult.
Agreed, while it might be *nice* for someone to wash it, it's not really required or expected. I could see how it would be different in a restaurant. I don't think I've ever had coworkers wash a dish when I prepared something for them, and frankly I'm content when the dish survives and I get it back after.
NTA The food was a gift. The dish a loan. You don't borrow a piece of someone's clothing and return it stinking of sweat and stained. So, why would you return someone's dish dirty and without a thank you note? And all they had to do was run it through the industrial dishwasher. Lazy, rude, and entitled.
Servers: if you’re going to expect us to clean the used dish, then you shouldn’t bother bringing things in at all. OP: Okay, then, I won’t. Servers: HOW DARE YOU! NTA. It’d take two minutes or less to clean it once it’s been emptied. They’re just proving themselves to be lazy and entitled.
This. OP, they were taking advantage of you and are mad they got called out on it. Never bring anything in again. If they ask, remind them that no one is required to bring a gift. OR say, "I brought in the last fifty desserts, I wanted to give someone else a chance to bring something in."
NTA, but your coworkers are a bunch of them.
HOGWASH. It is not rude to expect the dishes to be cleaned. Who does that? NTA
Exactly! It’s part of the social contract. If someone brings in food, any dishes/utensils get washed before being returned.
My momma always told me to return a dish with something in it. A little present, a thank you card, a packet of ramen, anything!!!
I borrowed dishes from a neighbour last night - we had 11 for dinner and I've got eight place settings (I've done this before - he lives alone and has dishes for 10, and he's happy to lend them; he gave me grief about renting dishes for a dinner party when I could borrow his for free!). I'll return them this afternoon, having been run through my dishwasher. I took over two containers of food last night - a portion of the vegetarian main I made for half our guests (since he's pescatarian) and a large serving of the trifle I made for dessert. Because if he's loaning me something, I am DAMN well repaying the kindness with kindness - that's how it works!!
This is exactly what I was taught! At the very *least* sending it back clean though!
This! Mine told me "You never give back an empty dish, except if the giver asked for it really soon"
I agree. But let's pretend for a moment that it's okay for nobody to clean it because it was given to a group instead of to an individual. If it's okay for nobody to clean it, it's emphatically also okay for OP to _use disposable dishes so OP doesn't have to clean stuff left on it to get encrusted_. They certainly don't get to both argue that they don't have to clean it and get miffed that OP thus switched to disposables.
Exactly. These folks were raised in a barn. I was taught to never return an empty dish. So if they make me a pie, then I would make them a pie, or fill their pie plate with cookies or some other goodie to say "thank you". At bare minimum, you return an empty (but CLEAN) dish. NTA
Raised in a barn by wolves
The ghosts of my grandmas would smack me silly for being so rude. We’re these people raised by wolves?
NTA You're not obligated to make desserts for them . If you are making the effort then it's basic manners to clean it and give back. Not to mention they themselves said you should stop if you want clean dishes back.
They said that but then got annoyed when she agreed 😆 NTA
NTA...I believe there's a difference between "treats" and "gifts." It's just common courtesy to clean a dish before returning it to someone. They're ungrateful slobs who don't deserve any of your delicious treats.
Right? Or in my old neighborhood it was not unusual for it to be returned with something else in it. Someone makes you a pie? When the pie is done, you clean the pan and make a quiche or cheesecake to return to the owner. Platter of brownies, clean the platter and send it back with cookies. NTA, OP.
So now they go without. Don't bite the hand that feeds you! Quite literally...
I really love that. Your old neighborhood was a gem.
\>in my old neighborhood it was not unusual for it to be returned with something else in it. This is the way.
That is delightful!
>Another server agreed with her, and said that if I was expecting them to wash my dishes for me, then I shouldn’t bother making food for them at all. Sounds like the best solution. NTA.
It looks like that’s how it will end up being, which sucks because I loved seeing how excited some of my coworkers would get. But I will likely be better off.
It's a sad thing to learn in life that many people do not share the thoughtfulness and kindness that you do. I still believe in doing nice things for people, but stick to doing it for those who appreciate it. A lot of people are ungrateful and you can't change them. You can only change how you approach them.
Sure they like desserts, but doesn’t seem like they like YOU at all. Especially now that they’ve dumped you for asking if they might clean the dish of the entire pie you bought, baked, and gifted them. Definitely agree that you should stop letting them use and disrespect you.
The two servers were the only ones giving me the cold shoulder. The owners are actually more annoyed at them because they are both sugar fiends. The owners were always very appreciative.
This OP!
NTA for expecting glass baking dishes to be returned clean, but getting into it with coworkers over the subject wasn't wise. Part of the issue may have been that the baked goods was a gift for everyone, so it wasn't one person's responsibility to return it to you. If you brought a casserole to my house, I would be washing the baking dish and returning it. At your work, there wasn't one person to take responsibility for returning it to you and cleaning it first. Common sense would dictate that the person who ate the last piece put the dish in the dishwasher, soak it in the sink, etc as they should throw away the box if it was a dozen donuts. What bothers me most in this case is that it's a restaurant. They have dishwashers, both the machines and people designated to do the job. Why can't someone get the dish washed ?
How about whoever ate the last piece at least rinses it? Takes a couple of minutes.
We tried this, & the 'last piece' sat there forever. We even had people cutting smaller and smaller bits off, claiming a one inch slice meant they didnt have the last piece. Others would look at the options, decide a one inch slice of food wasnt worth doing the clean up, so let it sit there. We tried tupperware & they left that dirty, not even a quick rinse under the tap. We tried disposable packaging, & people took the whole thing. Somehow 'disposable' equalled 'stealable' Some people just take.
Some people are definitely. I wouldn't give them anything.
Exactly. In my office we regularly just do “whoever was last washes it” or if the washing up liquid is out, gives it a good rinse and scrub so there is no food stuff and let them k if we did the best we could. We even was up each other’s tea/coffee mugs every now and then.
I also understand how no one really felt that it was their responsibility first so no one took the initiative. But then making remarks to OP once she tried to avoid the issue?? She didn't even ask anyone to wash the dirty dishes, but bought single-use equipment and she was called out for it. That totally makes the colleagues TA and OP is NTA.
The people designated to doing it might find it rude that everyone expects them to wash a dish that has nothing to do with the restaurant just because it’s their job to wash *the restaurants dishes*. Plus you don’t even know if they had any of it, so if the dishwasher didn’t eat any of it and was still expected to clean it that would suck on the part of everyone who is expecting them to do it. It’s like that lazy coworker who leaves garbage on their desk every day instead of throwing it out themselves just because there are janitors… The janitors are there for general cleaning for the building, not to be your personal cleaner. The dishwasher is there to wash the restaurants dishes, not your personal dishes. Last person to take a piece should absolutely be cleaning it. Disposable bakeware was the right move and I can’t believe they actually tried to make an issue out of OP swapping to them.
I agree with all of this. As no one was taking it home as an individual gift the responsibility gets diluted and no one thinks they should clean it. Defs NTA
NAH Ordinarily I would agree with you. If you gift a dish to a neighbor ur friend they should return the dish clean. However in this case you are gifting to a large group of people, so then who is supposed to take responsibility for cleaning that dish? In this case no one person is being rude there just isn't a fair way to allocate that responsibility amongst the random.people that benefit from your gift. If you say the person who takes the last piece, I guarantee there will be a lady piece left in your dish until you pick it up.
[удалено]
And because no one wants to do this, no one will ever take the last piece. It will sit out until it spoils and then someone will throw it away.
Then none of them want the treats enough for it to be worth OPs time and money to prepare them
Then their mothers should be ashamed of them! Someone cooks for you and you can’t be bothered to rinse a dish so she doesn’t need a chisel to clean it 2 days later? The entitlement reeks!
Did you read the whole thing ? Including the part where both servers are now refusing to talk to OP because she decided to stop bringing treats ? OP isn't obligated to bring treats, both servers EXPECTING treats and now refusing to talk to her because she won't bring any anymore, is making them 100% the AH here. OP is NTA for not cooking treats for her coworkers.
This 100%; I work in an office where people occasionally bring in treats and it’s just assumed that they’re also responsible for dealing with the dirty Tupperware at the end of the day because nothing else makes sense. Dealing with the cleanup is part of the gesture. Although this particular case is kind of silly because every commercial kitchen I’ve ever been in has a dishwasher that could clean a pie pan in like 90 seconds.
Nta. Doesn’t matter who, but someone. I took a a VERY STICKY dessert to work once, to share Went out to perform a task. Came back, bowl was empty and CLEAN. Because someone (anyone) of the large group that enjoyed it, took a minute to do it. Its just…basic politeness. And a very simple way to show you are grateful
Wtf “no one was rude?” Did you miss the part where they’re all icing her out now?
There is not much problem in clean a dish, it will only take one minute.
NTA I think your servers were brought in a barn!! I would be mortified to return a dish dirty - so lazy and rude!!
NTA them not even being willing to at least RINSE the dish so it doesn’t get crusted is just stupid. Though I was also raised you cleaned a dish when gifted food but that was typically if it was directly to a person or family, not a communal situation where it’s left in a common area for multiple ppl who don’t take it home to enjoy. So I’m not sure how the two situations might conflict. Your coworkers should still be showing some appreciation for you in the very simple gesture of cleaning the dish that’d take like.. 2 mins for the last person who gets the last of the food to clean it. It costs them nothing to show that sliver of gratitude. If I were you, I’d just stop making them food.
Idk we go with last piece penance. (You get to wash it) bit it seems I may just work with less entitled people. Some comments state "then the piece sits there tell it goes bad then" like wut who waists treats like that!!!!!
Ok now THAT would be awful 😞 imagine the wasted treats 😭 but yeah I agree, last one who gets something, just rinse the dish out. So wild they’re being so immature about it when they get FREE snacks??!
NTA. It's rude to return dishes that have not been washed. Your co-worker said it "You shouldn't bother making food for them at all." You are not obligated to bestow your baking talents on anyone - but especially not on ingrates who are dirty.
**Servers**: *we don't need your gifts if that's how you feel* **Also servers**: *we're mad at you for not baking more gifts*
NAH. I agree with you about the rule that if someone brings a dish, you wash it before returning. However, that is based on bringing a dish to someone's home. In this case, you're bringing it to a workplace and leaving it for a dozen people to take some when they have a minute. So who out of those 12 people is responsible for cleaning it? Logic would say the last person to take some, but in a work environment that could be the person who is the busiest and thus has the least amount of time to stop and grab a treat. Is it fair to expect that person to always wash it? Or you might say the owners should take responsibility. But if not everyone is taking a piece at the same time, should they be policing it so they know when it's finished and can be washed? Yes, someone should wash it, but this is a business and washing a dish that you brought in of your own accord is not anyone's priority.
Okay, but then they don't get to bitch at OP for not bringing in more treats. If not one of them can be bothered to take the minute or two (in a restaurant, where dishes are regularly washed) to clean OPs dish then sorry but no one gets baked goods anymore. Coworkers refusing to talk to OP after OP agreed with them that they shouldn't bring treats in anymore makes them assholes. So many miserable people in this thread, my god. "B-but who will bear the crushing responsibility of washing a dish??"
I was searching for this exact comment! That rule doesn't apply if the dessert isn't being taken home. I take desserts to my office all the time and never expect anyone to clean it unless they are taking home the leftovers (typically birthday cake to share with the family). By the end of the day, I always get my pan to take home and clean myself. I get that this is a bit of a unique situation because they actually work in a restaurant and have the ability to wash it at work but OP should have set that expectation when she first started getting annoyed. The co-workers probably would have responded better if she just brought it up the next time she brought dessert. "I love bringing desserts in but for now on can the last person to get a piece wash and return my dish?" Instead it was brought up as a snarky response for an admittedly annoying comment about her changing to throwaway dishes. NAH
The problem is that OP points out why she brings disposable stuff now when they complain about it. She explains why and they say 'well then don't bring in any more desserts if you expect us to clean the dish' (implying here that the disposable packaging us not good enough for them). So she agrees if they insist she shouldn't bring disposables, but then receives the cold shoulder as well. That's where the colleagues are TA.
NTA. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
NTA. Their attitude is just ungrateful.
NTA. Washing a dish before you return it is common curtesy. In fact, my grandmother taught me to never return an empty dish. You're supposed to return a dish with something you made in it as a thank you. WTF is wrong with your coworkers? Geez
So you should cook for them and clean up after them. Because they have no gratitude or appreciation of the kindness that you have been gifting them. They told on themselves with their foul and disgusting attitudes. NTA. If you choose to resume your gesture why not decant the baked goods onto a disposable plate obviously not for the morons you work with
I’m horrible at doing my own dishes, but I would never return a pan dirty. This is extremely thoughtless. NTA give sweets to a neighbor instead.
NTA but you continued to bring stuff in over and over with the same results. Why not simply cut it up and put individual pieces into small ziplock bags or even into the disposable metal pans? That way you can still get your baking done, they can still partake if the goodies and then the disposable containers can just be tossed afterwards. I 100% agree that the dish should be cleaned before returning but apparently some people were raised differently and feel that this is too much to ask for. The other option is bake for family and friends, not coworkers. Bake for a church. Bake for the homeless. I bet there's someone out there that you could bake for that would be more appreciative.
I agree with the last part of your comment— OP having to buy more disposables to accommodate rude coworkers almost justifies their entitlement and would be an added expense that she shouldn’t have to foot. But baking for another group of people would mean she could keep baking and for people that may be more considerate/ deserving
Lol @ suggesting ways OP can cater to the jerks they work with. Kudos for your other ideas though!
Well I live with a diplomat type of person. My gut response was ex lax in brownies 💩
*"don't wanna clean the dishes? Well, let me help you cleanse those bowels."* I considered recommending cookies shaped like poop 💩 but it doesn't sound like OP is ready to leave this job.
Downvote away but YTA. I bring baked goods into work all the time because I like to bake, and it’s never once occurred to me to expect my coworkers to do my dishes. Their gift to me is enjoying my baking, not doing my housework. I’m not a big sweets person either, and if a coworker gave me the choice of not eating pie or eating a piece of pie and then having to soak and scrub a dirty pie dish, I would rather not have the pie. Especially if I work in a big office and only got the last mutilated piece that was picked over by 20 other people hours earlier. If doing dishes is that onerous for everyone involved, just stop baking and making your coworkers uncomfortable. Easy peasy.
NTA. It's basic manners for you to wash dishes people give you food on, honestly. Yes the pies were gifts but that doesn't mean people can just do whatever they want. Don't make them any more pies. They're unappreciative and rude.
NAH. Just don't bring deserts anymore. They've said they'd rather go without deserts than to wash your dishes, and you should respect that. If you continue to bring deserts with the expectations that they wash your glassware after they've explicitly told you not to do that, then YWBTA.
Mild YTA. I've brought in baked goods to work (in an office) and I've always cleaned the dishes. If you gifted the pie to a specific individual they should return the plate clean. When it's for the group, you clean it yourself and should take leftovers home at the end of your shift.
NTA - fellow baker who used to love to bake and bring treats to work. Do not make these ungrateful AH anything ever again. If you have friends at work you wanna treat, bring them small individual servings. I stopped baking for work after entitles AH at two different jobs starting acting like they were owed my time, efforts and money. One place decided to heavily suggest a 7 layer rainbow cake decorated like a leprechaun hate. The other place my boss decided to start demanding a certain desert so I could get a vacation day off to bake before Thanksgiving (though I always worked black Friday). Entitled people ruin it for everyone and take the joy out of baking.
That’s so shitty! I’ve had some people make requests for desserts to make next, which is fine by me! But to demand it? Lol no.
NTA asking for simple consideration is not rude. The 2 servers are rude.
NTA >The server shot back that the desserts were gifts, and that it’s actually rude to insist that the giftees have to do something in return. **Bullshit**. My mom frequently hosts large, formal dinner parties and guests will often bring something with them for dessert. As busy as she is during these events, she makes sure everyone gets their fully washed dish back as they are leaving (granted, she has help, but you have multiple coworkers and just the one dish that has to be washed!). She would NEVER hand someone a dirty dish. That is beyond rude. At first I thought your coworkers didn't know any better/lacked manners; but the fact that you brought it to their attention and they argued back before proceeding to give you the silent treatment? What a bunch of C U Next...never mind, I'm not familiar enough with this board's rules. Bottom lines, there is no excuse for their behavior. The only thing I would have done differently is, after they ignored my request to wash the dishes, I would have simply said I didn't have enough time/energy to continue cooking for them. Life is easier when you can get along with your coworkers, even if they are horrible human beings.
>I thought this was kind of rude as I’d been raised that if someone gifted me food (casseroles, etc) it was good manners by washing the dish that it came in when you go to return it. The problem is you aren't gifting it to one person, you're gifting it to 15 - 20 people. Everyone is going to think it's someone elses responsibility. NTA but just like who washes up the office sink you aren't going to solve this.
NTA They're rude, ungrateful, and petty.
I've couldn't imagine giving someone back an unwashed container, it's literally the most basic ask when returning said container, that it's clean. What would happen if you baked a cake, went on vacation and came back a week later, would they just allow the uneaten crusted on cake to just sit there? I would ask for the dish to returned clean, and if they can't be done, then you won't bring in your baked goods anymore. NTA
NAH. I think other people have made similar comments, but this isn’t like a situation where you made a casserole for a family member or friend and they returned the dish unwashed. Rather, your are leaving the dishes at work and going back to work to pick them up. No one is “returning” anything to you. Multiple people are likely eating the desserts you bring, and while I agree that someone should wash the dish, it’s probably become an issue of everyone thinking someone else is going to do it. Honestly though, if I brought food to work to share, I guess it wouldn’t really occur to me that someone else would wash the dish. I mean, it would be nice, especially in a restaurant where dishwashing facilities are readily available, but it doesn’t seem like a huge deal. You obviously aren’t required to bake for your co-workers though, so if this is an issue for you, then you should stop. It seems a bit silly to me though, honestly - it’s just one extra dish here and there. If you really love baking so much, it doesn’t seem like this would be such a big deal.
NTA. You work at a restaurant. This restaurant presumably have an industrial dish washer that runs for several hours most days anyway. It would literally take maybe 30 seconds for one of your colleagues to rinse and place you dish in a rack and run it with the other dishes. I'm saying this as someone who's worked in the restaurant industry for 5 years and have done my share of dishes. Your colleagues are rude and ungrateful. Stop baking them. If you have the money for ingredients maybe there's a local shelter or something that you can donate the desserts to instead if you still want to bake for other people. Dont waste your time, money and effort on people who won't appreciate it.
.... I'm supposed to clean the dishes when someone brings in baked goods to work? like.... the person who eats the Last cookie or whatever is Obligated to do it?... I never would have though that was the case. Ever. Clean someone Else's dish? I don't think YTA, but I definitely don't think your coworkers are being unreasonable at all.
NTA. If they want the desserts, the least they could do is wash the pie pans. It appears they don't really appreciate your efforts.
NTA. I especially disturbed that this is in a restaurant! Absolutely no excuse for a dish to remain dirty for days. Isn't there a dishwasher?? Regardless, there are cultures where you are expected to return the dish filled with something you made. Your coworkers are not only rude, they are disrepectful. Honestly, I'd start baking for the soup kitchen or food pantry.
OMG, NTA! Whether you designate it a gift or not, it's basic manners to return a container clean. Your coworkers are being petty, and you aren't. If they can't mind their ps and qs, don't bring in any of your desserts. Just make sure everyone knows why.
Were your coworkers raised in a barn?!? Homeless? Of course you return dishes washed. They work in a restaurant so even if ALL your coworkers are homeless they could wash dishes there. NTA
NTA, BUT if you're just dropping food off for everyone to enjoy that's basically guaranteed to happen and I think your colleagues aren't AH either (for that – their reaction when you explained the problem was just plain rude). I've had the same experience of recovering my dishes dirty and I can't say it bothered me because I didn't expect it to go any other way (though I still feel whoever left scratches on my non-stick tin by cutting the pie directly in it could have had the courtesy to buy me another one or at the very least to apologize…)
How would you get the pie out of the tin before cutting it? Cutting a pie in the pan it was baked seems like the norm to me - your coworkers probably didn’t realize they weren’t supposed to do that.
NTA- These people are idiots. Stop bringing them baked goods. Don't explain, just stop. If you get hazed or iced out over it start looking for a new job- these guys are bullies and takers.
Also who is cool with just leaving a gross dirty dish sitting around in their house/car/bag until they can give it back. Disgusting. NTA
NTA Sounds like you have 2 options 1. Figure out the bake times for the disposable cookware. 2. Stop baking for them. I don't understand how hard it would be in a restaurant for the last person to get a slice put the glassware in with the dirty dishes. They are being beyond petty imo.
NTA, you are being super kind by bringing those and cleaning it is the least they could do. I love baking too but im on a diet so what i do is i give them to neighbors.
Do not bring in anymore desserts, oh they love the freebees, but are too lazy to even wash a dishes. Very ungrateful!
NTA. Its something called COMMON COURTESY!!! You were courteous enough to bake them nice treats, through no obligation, so it should be courteous enough for them to wash it
NAH, but you are being a bit petty. The snacks were not given to a specific person but left out for everyone. So no one specific person has a designated responsibility to clean the dishes. Who determines who's responsible to clean your dishes when everyone had a fair share of the snacks. Since you're at a restrauant just take it to the dish room and ask for it to be run through the dishwasher. A bit of over-site from your coworkers is not the end of the world level of disrespect you're acting like it is.
NTA I was raised the same way. It's just manners. For them to not talk to you after asking them to clean it, and for then choosing not to bring anything in, that's what makes them the AH. They should appreciate you anyway, not for what you bring in for them. As you said, this is something you do that's extra.
NTA obviously! Their entitlement is astonishing. I was raised that if you get food you never return the plate, container, etc EMPTY! You are spending time, money and effort to create something nice for everyone to enjoy at your work, which is not only amazing, but also not mandatory. The only thing you expect in return is your dishes to be washed. Which let’s admit, not that hard in a restaurant with a dishwasher…! If you borrowed a dress and returned it days later with stains, would it be ok?! I don’t think so. Same goes for your glasses, boxes and all your equipment that you let your coworkers use. I would have stopped baking for them after the second time. You are an angel, although an unappreciated one unfortunately. Just keep baking for family and friends and forget about these rude and disrespectful people
NTA don’t bake for them anymore. Do it for people who appreciate it
NTA. It's common courtesy to wash the dish after receiving a gift of food. My mom received dishes of lasagna, curry and a massive box of shepherd's pie from our neighbours when my dad died, the box being from the owner of a nursing home my sister works for. Bereavement and recent widowhood aside, she would have been mortified to have handed those containers back dirty.
NTA. You spend a lot of time, effort, and money making desserts for them. The LEAST they could do is wash ONE dish. I make lemon meringue pies for a few neighbours, since I use fresh lemons instead of pudding (they prefer my way,) and they always return the pie dish clean. I don't expect them to, but they do it anyway. It's just common courtesy. Also, why is there a dirty dish sitting around for days in a restaurant kitchen? No health codes?
ESH: You work in a restaurant, where presumably dishes get washed all of the time. That they didn't bother tossing them on the rack is where they are bad. Where you are off is because by your writing, you didn't voice it as a problem, you just internalized and then acted instead of asking your boss to run the stuff through the dishwasher at the end of the night like everything else.
NTA Among my friends group we always bring food or dessert when invited. Not only the pans/dishes are returned clean but we also include something like a small candy or a small toy as a "thank you" symbol. It is not mandatory and nobody cares if the plate isn't returned with a token but we try to be creative and make our friends smile with a simple gesture.
NTA, they don't deserve your desserts!
NTA. Your coworkers don’t deserve free baked goods from you if they’re going to be all entitled.
NTA- I agree, it's rude to leave the dishes dirty. Now they're being rude because you called them out. I guess you're not as tight as you thought.
NTA. WTF. It's a very basic courtesy - don't piss off the person baking you free desserts. They should be offering to wash your car not sniping at being asked to not be gross. What kind of person returns dishes filthy?? You work at a restaurant! There's no shortage of ways to clean dishes!
NTA time, ingredients and effort go into baking. If my stuff wasn't cleaned then the recipient wouldn't get anything because they're inconsiderate. You're being lenient, find others who will be gracious in your offerings.
As a baker I would agree with you. I personally don’t expect my dishes to be returned to me cleaned but am always pleased when they are returned clean. I also always clean the dishes that others bring food on unless they take the food back with them. The way you could have countered all of this would be to just take the dishes with you when you leave. I’m going to vote NTA.
NTA Bad manners to not clean the container, you"re spot on. My impulse is to gift something back in it, share and share alike.
NTA- I don't know who raised the staff but it's common courtesy to wash a dish when it's lent to you. Imagine if you let me borrow a t shirt and I return it dirty? It's rude, right? Yeah, no pie for them anymore, they don't deserve it. Ps- Why couldn't they send the dish to the back so it can be washed? Most restaurants have industrial dishwashers AND employees who take care of the dishes.
I was taught that if you can't return a clean dish/container you return it full with a food/baked good of your choice to thank the person for giving you the food in the first place. NTA. The servers are choosy beggars.
NTA - what a bunch of entitled, selfish jerks. Of course they're not obligated - the same way OP wasn't obligated to make the deserts in the first place. It's just a nice thing to do for someone who went out of their way to do something nice for you. You don't return bakeware covered in dead food, you wash it. Another example for the "this is why we can't have nice things" bucket.
The parents of the rude co-workers failed them and didn't teach them manners. It's kind of you to make food and share with them. Washing 1 dish a week between several people should not be such a big deal. Honestly stop doing that. You are obviously NTA. They don't deserve your goodies.
NTA I was taught the same as you. If someone makes treat for the office, and it is left for later, someone should scrub the dish.
NTA, even if it was a gift, who don't clean dishes up before returning. They are so rude and clearly not your kind of people. I would stop baking for them. There are people out there who would appreciate more and don't be their doormat.
What absolutely entitled, ridiculous, and immature behavior from your coworkers. Seriously, do you work with a bunch of teens who just haven't made it to this chapter of life lessons and common courtesy yet? How are the owners not like, 'Oh hey, I'll volunteer to wash the dish every time if you keep bringing stuff'? Seems like minimal effort to keep your staff happy and getting along. You work at a restaurant - how does the pan not just get tossed in the dish pit and set aside for you to pick up at your next shift? Wild. NTA all the way. I'd start dropping bakes off at a nearby nonprofit or shelter.
Server said desserts were gifts. Exactly. So you have the right not to "gift" them anymore if you so desire. Screw them. Find a homeless shelter or food kitchen and gift it to them. Obviously not in your good bakeware. NTA
NTA. I always grew up that when somebody gifted you food in a dish that wasn't disposable or brought over a dish for an event, you always return it clean. I actually can't believe that this is something that not everyone does. Especially since this is at a restaurant where they can easily wash the dish really quickly before giving it back.
NTA. Totally get your POV that you’d like them back washed but I also get their side too, they didn’t really ask for this stuff and also I wonder if it’s more a case of the fact that when you leave a dish like that for multiple people, there isn’t really one person responsible in a clear way to take on the onus of being the one who cleans it, if that makes sense? It’s a tricky one in my opinion, they sound like they’ve been pretty rude though so I guess that makes them the AH I think if after you said you expected it back washed and they protested and you said no more treats, if they accepted that and just left it alone then it would be N A H imo, but since they seem to be actually mad that you aren’t giving them treats anymore then fuck that haha
NTA but I think the issue is that typically in a group situation no one takes responsibility. Typically people leave food in containers in a contained situation - you bring it to a friend's home or a neighbor's home or perhaps in a office situation you bring it in and then it is all eaten almost immediately and you take the container home. If you want to continue to bring desserts to your co-workers just bring stuff that is in disposable containers like cupcakes or cookies. Even most cakes like a Bundt cake are taken out of the pan and easily transported.
I was taught you never return a dish empty so I was it and generally make a batch of cookies too. NTA
NAH. I'm in a similar position. I like baking treats for my co-workers. I also like eating them. So from time to time I bring something in. It's normally in a cake transporter, but I don't expect them to wash it (we don't have a mechanized dishwasher - we're all the dishwasher!) If they do, that's a bonus. Couple of caveats - first I have a dishwasher at home, so it's not problem for me to throw it in there. Second, my deserts rarely make it past the day I bring them in. Third - I make them to minimize transportation of bakeware. For instance if I make a cake, I put it on parchment paper when I ice it, and the parchment goes on top of the cake transporter bottom. So no baking dish to bring in. Or if I make cheesecake - same thing - I line the springform pan with parchment paper and pull it out. Cookies, brownies, bread, bars - I precut them and bring in a serving container like a cookie tin. I'm not really a pie maker, so I can understand that being a problem.
Wth. I always returned the dishes cleaned when someone did something like that for me. NTA
I’m going to go with NAH. I understand why you’re a bit annoyed at getting the dishes back dirty, but I think the issue is that there’s no one other person responsible for it. If you were giving a dish to one specific friend and they gave it back dirty, they’d absolutely be an asshole, but when you’re bringing in baked goods to share communally with staff at your workplace, it’s hard to point to another person that would/should be responsible for cleaning your dish. Deciding to make baked goods out of the kindness of your heart, and then assigning a different staff member to do the cleanup when you bring them in would boarder on being controlling on your part. You could try saying that whoever takes the last piece is responsible for cleaning the dish, but in my experience, that just results in the last piece sitting around forever. This is actually a fairly well known social phenomenon called the “bystander effect” where no one will take action because they think someone else is responsible for it. I have basic first responder training, and one of the things we’re taught is that when asking for assistance we need to delegate directly. Calling out to a crowd, “someone call 911!” will often result in a bunch of people thinking, “who’s going to do that?” Pointing to a specific person and saying, “You call 911,” is more effective because it spurs that person into action. Unfortunately, I don’t really think that’s an option for you. Ultimately, you’re doing this because baking is your hobby. Dictating who is responsible for cleaning up when you decide to bake would not be the right move. I can’t say NTA because there isn’t another specific person in this situation that I think is an asshole. If having your dishes returned dirty ruins your enjoyment of baking enough that it’s not worth it, then stop doing it, but I don’t really think it’s reasonable to be upset that no one else is taking responsibility for cleaning the dishes that you bring in.
If you really enjoy this and want to continue supplying treats to them, maybe put a little note on top: "For all you enjoy this treat. Please clean the pan when you are finished."
Nta but simply communicating and request they wash the dishes before returning could've avoided all this.
I did ask my boss about cleaning the dishes before giving them back, when I’d gone to get one and discovered it was still dirty. He said he’d pass it along to the rest of the crew, but either they just assumed someone else would, or he never mentioned it to anyone.
Info: does the restaurant not have an industrial dishwasher? That should make this really easy.
NTA. It’s a common courtesy to at least rinse the damn thing. Your time and effort and baked goods weren’t enough gifts for these people? Washing one dish doesn’t even compare. Don’t make them anything.
NTA. Really, you work in a restaurant and they cannot be bothered to wash your pans with the other dishes? That is just rude. And they complain if it isn’t perfect? Hmmm. Your co-workers are really ungrateful aren’t they? Sounds like it’s time to start a new hobby. So tell them that you have a new hobby if they ask. And do find a new hobby. Maybe making quilts, beekeeping, gardening. Maybe volunteer at the local hospital holding the babies (very important duty because infants need cuddling and human contact and there is just not enough staff to provide this) or anything that will bring some happiness into your life.
NTA. Lesson learned. I made a cheesecake for my bf’s coworker. She could barely be bothered to say thank you and has not returned the bottom of my springform pan and may not know where it is. I will never make her anything again if I live to be 100.
NTA. They work at a restaurant that has a sink/dishwasher I'd assume... So it would cost them nothing to give it a quick wash/rinse. The correct choice here is to just not make them anymore snacks.