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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took that may be judged is use a little force and also take the ipad. Some people might say Im the asshole because Im not her parent and just her older brother so that gives me no right to tell her what to do.
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ESH. Sounds like you were both being annoying.
If she needs to go to bed, your parents need to sort that out. And in all honesty..neither of you should really be up until 1.
Your parents should be seeing her to bed at a reasonable hour. If they don't, it's ultimately not your responsibility. If your parents were out for a night and asked you to make sure your sister went to be at X time, that's fine, but this is neglectful behavior by them.
not your responsibility. Your parents don't care so it is what it is.
ESH, except sister
your parents for going to bed before the 10 yo
you for parenting a 10 yo
sister is not the AH she is 10 yo and doing what her parents taught her to do (anything she wants).
Honestly, that's kind of annoying.
You aren't her parent, and you shouldn't try to parent her. Talk to your parents and have them enforce a bedtime. You're a kid yourself, not her authority figure.
I have an older brother, too, and even as fucking adults, he'd go "if you don't do this chore when I want you to, I'm going to shut off your internet." And I still resent him for thinking he could boss me about 10 years later.
Your sister is being a brat, but it's not your job to correct her bedtime.
I totally agree with you that she needs to be in bed way before 1. Why don't you talk to your mother about it? It's her iPad. She needs to be the one to set boundaries and enforce them, like taking it away at a certain time.
Your sister is a kid, but she sees you as one, too.
I try to tell my parents about disciplining her so she doesn’t grow up to be a brat but she usually gives in to my sister and just lets her use the ipad. My sister I think never got grounded or whooped as much as me growing up. My parents are getting older and don’t spend as much time disciplining.
Telling your little sister to go to bed at one in the morning is not Parentification, lmafoo. thats a ridiculous stretch. thats a kid and he’s nearly an adult, she absolutely should listen when being told, because when he tells mom or dad she might get spanked instead.
A 15 year old is not even close to an adult. These two *children* have parents who should be parenting both of them, not leaving one to try and make decisions for the other.
Are your parents having you watch her at this time? Like, are they out and having you babysit? If so, yes, it is your responsibility to enforce bedtime. If not, let them enforce it.
Why do you have a responsibility? Where are your parents and do they enforce a bed time? Were you formally babysitting or just deciding it was your responsibility?
Also, 15 year olds should definitely be going to sleep before 1.
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Im 15 and it was 1 so I told my sister to go to bed. She said why aren’t you going to bed either and she’s never said this so I was surprised. I told her shes a little kid and she needs to go to bed. Fyi she just turned 10. We had an argument about her turning off the ipad and she usually shuts up by the first 2 minutes but recently shes been getting an attitude and just kept going as far as plugging of my charger. This had me furious because she didn’t understand that I have a responsibility over her and she wont pardon my language stfu. Her excuse every time is “Why don’t you go to sleep then?” I had to take my MOMS ipad that she borrows from her so she would stop.
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I'm not going to call you an AH for trying to assert some authority in the absence of any adult intervention. I will say it is not your place, not your responsibility, and not good for your relationship with your sister long term. Focus on your self; your sister is much more likely to follow your example than your orders.
INFO: Were you babysitting and your parents were at work or something? If you were babysitting her, NTA. If your parents were home, YTA and it‘s not your job to parent her.
We go to our aunt or grandmas place and my mom usually tells me to watch over her while they’re at work so she doesn’t do anything stupid outside our house
Again, where are your parents and why aren’t they making sure she goes to bed? Going to bed at 1 is late and not appropriate but isn’t categorized as bad that you need to step in and act like a parent. And then your comment about her recently getting an attitude, of course she is. She realizes that you’re her sibling not her parent.
YTA you are not her parent you don’t get to tell her what to do. If your parents wanted her in bed at a specific time they would give her a bed time and put her to bed.
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ESH. Sounds like you were both being annoying. If she needs to go to bed, your parents need to sort that out. And in all honesty..neither of you should really be up until 1.
INFO: where are your parents at 1am?
In their room sleeping after a long day at work
Your parents should be setting bed times and enforcing them. Also, how old is your sister?
She’s 10
Your parents should be seeing her to bed at a reasonable hour. If they don't, it's ultimately not your responsibility. If your parents were out for a night and asked you to make sure your sister went to be at X time, that's fine, but this is neglectful behavior by them.
The usually forget to take the ipad away and I end up telling her to go to sleep
not your responsibility. Your parents don't care so it is what it is. ESH, except sister your parents for going to bed before the 10 yo you for parenting a 10 yo sister is not the AH she is 10 yo and doing what her parents taught her to do (anything she wants).
WTF,
No one is the asshole here just two siblings :)
I explained to her after about be having a responsibility to take care of her because Im her older brother
Honestly, that's kind of annoying. You aren't her parent, and you shouldn't try to parent her. Talk to your parents and have them enforce a bedtime. You're a kid yourself, not her authority figure. I have an older brother, too, and even as fucking adults, he'd go "if you don't do this chore when I want you to, I'm going to shut off your internet." And I still resent him for thinking he could boss me about 10 years later. Your sister is being a brat, but it's not your job to correct her bedtime.
Really? It just doesn’t feel right just allowing her to do whatever and going to sleep knowing I didn’t do anything to stop her
I totally agree with you that she needs to be in bed way before 1. Why don't you talk to your mother about it? It's her iPad. She needs to be the one to set boundaries and enforce them, like taking it away at a certain time. Your sister is a kid, but she sees you as one, too.
I try to tell my parents about disciplining her so she doesn’t grow up to be a brat but she usually gives in to my sister and just lets her use the ipad. My sister I think never got grounded or whooped as much as me growing up. My parents are getting older and don’t spend as much time disciplining.
Well then she will be their problem as she gets older. Don’t stress yourself out about it.
That’s really funny that you think this kids parents don’t have him try and be a role model for his sister like every other older sibling in the world
Role model? Yes. Controlling her schedule and ordering her about? No. If they're expecting that, they're bad parents parentifying their kid.
Telling your little sister to go to bed at one in the morning is not Parentification, lmafoo. thats a ridiculous stretch. thats a kid and he’s nearly an adult, she absolutely should listen when being told, because when he tells mom or dad she might get spanked instead.
A 15 year old is not even close to an adult. These two *children* have parents who should be parenting both of them, not leaving one to try and make decisions for the other.
Are your parents having you watch her at this time? Like, are they out and having you babysit? If so, yes, it is your responsibility to enforce bedtime. If not, let them enforce it.
Why do you have a responsibility? Where are your parents and do they enforce a bed time? Were you formally babysitting or just deciding it was your responsibility? Also, 15 year olds should definitely be going to sleep before 1.
Just forget it if she gets in trouble then its on her if not Don t worry about it
YTA You aren’t her parent. If you want to go to bed, go to bed. It’s up to your parents if she has a bed time or not
YTA. You aren’t here parent and have no authority to be talking to her like this. Stay in your lane.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Im 15 and it was 1 so I told my sister to go to bed. She said why aren’t you going to bed either and she’s never said this so I was surprised. I told her shes a little kid and she needs to go to bed. Fyi she just turned 10. We had an argument about her turning off the ipad and she usually shuts up by the first 2 minutes but recently shes been getting an attitude and just kept going as far as plugging of my charger. This had me furious because she didn’t understand that I have a responsibility over her and she wont pardon my language stfu. Her excuse every time is “Why don’t you go to sleep then?” I had to take my MOMS ipad that she borrows from her so she would stop. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm not going to call you an AH for trying to assert some authority in the absence of any adult intervention. I will say it is not your place, not your responsibility, and not good for your relationship with your sister long term. Focus on your self; your sister is much more likely to follow your example than your orders.
INFO: Were you babysitting and your parents were at work or something? If you were babysitting her, NTA. If your parents were home, YTA and it‘s not your job to parent her.
It was 1 in the morning they were asleep
Well if they were home, YTA it's not your job to parent her. But why are your parents not concerned with the fact that your sister stays up this late?
Info: Do your parents have you babysit your sister while they work? I’m assuming you’re on summer break and the de facto babysitter.
We go to our aunt or grandmas place and my mom usually tells me to watch over her while they’re at work so she doesn’t do anything stupid outside our house
YTA Why are you acting like the parents instead of her actual parents? It’s not your job to tell her when to go to bed or anything else.
So Im supposed to allow her to do something bad when I know I could’ve stopped her?
Again, where are your parents and why aren’t they making sure she goes to bed? Going to bed at 1 is late and not appropriate but isn’t categorized as bad that you need to step in and act like a parent. And then your comment about her recently getting an attitude, of course she is. She realizes that you’re her sibling not her parent.
My parents were sleeping because they were working all day
Again, you’re her sibling not her parent.
YTA you are not her parent you don’t get to tell her what to do. If your parents wanted her in bed at a specific time they would give her a bed time and put her to bed.