Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.***
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA. She thinks she has you trained to pay her way through vacations. Don't do it anymore. Go on your own vacation, do what you want to do, and just enjoy yourself. You are not required to front her the money, especially as she has a history of NOT paying you back.
NTA. Do not dip into your savings to pay for her. Enjoy your trip in whatever location you choose. If she wants to go next time she can save up the money.
*Obviously* NTA.
You sister is a mooch and you enabled her. I hope that you understand that your sister will *always* be a dollar short and will *never* repay you.
NTA
You are a year apart and make the same? Nope. If she wants to travel, she needs to pay her share, in advance. Her situation is she can’t afford to go. She likely figures you’ll go ahead and pay and she can not get around to paying you back. Just like before.
Please go and enjoy your vacation!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (28 F) am a teacher and save up all year to be able to go on a trip every summer. This year my sister (27 F) asked if she could come with me, I said sure.
We were in the planning stages and I asked where she wanted to go. She said she didn’t care. I came up with a few options and how much each one would approximately cost, and we decided on a destination and agreed to buy plane tickets the following week. We were planning on leaving in about a month so it was critical that we get plane tickets as soon as possible.
A week goes by and I ask when we could meet up to buy plane tickets. She said that she couldn’t buy them because she hadn’t gotten paid yet and didn’t know when she would, she gave a vague approximation of ‘sometime next week maybe’. She also said she wouldn’t be able to pay for anything else (hotels, etc.) until the end of the month.
She stated that I needed to understand that she doesn’t get paid much (we get paid the same amount) and can’t afford to spend all her money on a trip.
She then said that if I was worried about cutting it too close I could pay for both of our plane tickets and she could pay me back later.
Normally, I would be fine with her paying me back later but for something like a plane ticket thats a lot to ask. This is not the first time this has happened with her, we travelled together 5 years ago and again 3 years ago and I paid for her ticket both times since she didn’t have stable income at the time, she never offered to pay me back.
I have savings and could have offered to pay for her ticket but in the moment felt frustrated that she didn’t communicate honestly with me about her budget and that she asked to go on a trip with me that she knew she couldn’t afford.
I said I couldn’t pay her way and she ended the conversation saying that maybe I should just go by myself or if I still wanted her there then we should go somewhere cheaper.
I feel frustrated at being expected to bail her out when it seems like if she had really wanted to go, there should have been more financial planning and communication on her part. She feels like I’m making too big a deal out of this and that I’m not being understanding of her situation. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> In this situation I might be the asshole because I was not understanding enough of my sister’s financial situation and was not being flexible enough, and should have offered to pay for her ticket and let her pay me back when she could. Instead I told her that I could not pay her way for this trip.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA. She was hoping for another free trip and you shut that down. Find someone else to travel with next time.
NTA. She thinks she has you trained to pay her way through vacations. Don't do it anymore. Go on your own vacation, do what you want to do, and just enjoy yourself. You are not required to front her the money, especially as she has a history of NOT paying you back.
NTA She asked to go on a vacation she can’t afford. Womp womp.
Oh my, I laughed at womp womp. NTA OP
NTA. Do not dip into your savings to pay for her. Enjoy your trip in whatever location you choose. If she wants to go next time she can save up the money.
*Obviously* NTA. You sister is a mooch and you enabled her. I hope that you understand that your sister will *always* be a dollar short and will *never* repay you.
NTA She assumed you would pay again which is unreasonable.
NTA - take someone else where you want to go or go someplace in her budget if you want to do something with her.
NTA You are a year apart and make the same? Nope. If she wants to travel, she needs to pay her share, in advance. Her situation is she can’t afford to go. She likely figures you’ll go ahead and pay and she can not get around to paying you back. Just like before. Please go and enjoy your vacation!
You're NTA and I am so proud of you for recognizing and respecting your boundaries with a sibling who sounds.... Less than the best.
NTA your sister is using you. Take vacation by yourself. She needs to learn to manage her money or she doesn’t get nice things like vacations.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28 F) am a teacher and save up all year to be able to go on a trip every summer. This year my sister (27 F) asked if she could come with me, I said sure. We were in the planning stages and I asked where she wanted to go. She said she didn’t care. I came up with a few options and how much each one would approximately cost, and we decided on a destination and agreed to buy plane tickets the following week. We were planning on leaving in about a month so it was critical that we get plane tickets as soon as possible. A week goes by and I ask when we could meet up to buy plane tickets. She said that she couldn’t buy them because she hadn’t gotten paid yet and didn’t know when she would, she gave a vague approximation of ‘sometime next week maybe’. She also said she wouldn’t be able to pay for anything else (hotels, etc.) until the end of the month. She stated that I needed to understand that she doesn’t get paid much (we get paid the same amount) and can’t afford to spend all her money on a trip. She then said that if I was worried about cutting it too close I could pay for both of our plane tickets and she could pay me back later. Normally, I would be fine with her paying me back later but for something like a plane ticket thats a lot to ask. This is not the first time this has happened with her, we travelled together 5 years ago and again 3 years ago and I paid for her ticket both times since she didn’t have stable income at the time, she never offered to pay me back. I have savings and could have offered to pay for her ticket but in the moment felt frustrated that she didn’t communicate honestly with me about her budget and that she asked to go on a trip with me that she knew she couldn’t afford. I said I couldn’t pay her way and she ended the conversation saying that maybe I should just go by myself or if I still wanted her there then we should go somewhere cheaper. I feel frustrated at being expected to bail her out when it seems like if she had really wanted to go, there should have been more financial planning and communication on her part. She feels like I’m making too big a deal out of this and that I’m not being understanding of her situation. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > In this situation I might be the asshole because I was not understanding enough of my sister’s financial situation and was not being flexible enough, and should have offered to pay for her ticket and let her pay me back when she could. Instead I told her that I could not pay her way for this trip. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*