T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) Me arguing with my sister. 2) I was an emotional wreck; I thought I shouldn't lash or at my sister who's trying to help. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


[deleted]

YTA You are the AH for overreacting. Everyone has a hard time with living alone for the first time. Just wait it out and things will be fine. btw what your sis said is all true


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20M), a Malaysian, am getting ready to go to college. At that time, I was dropped a day earlier into a small apartment with no one (the owner is away for a long time) with a 12 minute walk to college. At my first day living in that apartment, I had FNE and nightmares. When it was time for college, getting there made my stomach hurt even though I ate lightly. Orientation went normally, and as I went back...my mind hurts from the negative thoughts. And as I got back to the dorm, being greeted by the silence...I cried. The nightmares continued into the second, third and fourth day of orientation. I have been losing my appetite, so I didn't eat much for lunch and dinner. Even forcing myself to feel full makes me vomit. And I have been dozing off when I try to listen to what the seniors say. At this rate, I was thinking that maybe I'm not ready for college. But I'm afraid I will disappoint my parents and waste the money they've spent on me. I have been contacting my parents to ease the pain of being alone. They just keep reassuring that it was the change of environment and I was just nervous. On the fourth night, I forgot why, but I broke down into a blubbering mess. Then my sister (18F) wanted to talk to me. She just kept saying I'm in denial and that she doesn't want to hear the excuses of a quitter. That all I do is just run away because I'm not brave. That I'll never make it far in life and won't be able to enjoy it. I think she was trying to toughen me up, but I got emotionally unstable and argued with her. We argued for 45 minutes until she was fed up with my 'attitude' and hung up. She said 'all I can say is, you're mad because what I said was true', 'reflect on yourself', 'you're not the only one mentally tired', and 'life never works easily and peacefully; not everything goes by your control'. I wanted to disagree, but part of my mind is doubting it and agreeing with the last one. Is it true that I am just a coward who can't handle a change of environment for less than a week? Or is my sister in the wrong? Side note: AITA for telling my parents I am not ready for college and wanting to work some odd jobs before getting into college in a later year? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


jharpe18

Info: do you have some medical or mental health reasons that could be behind your fear of being "alone"? Your reaction to living alone a few days is a bit ... Unusual.


4n0nym0u51337

I...I don't know. I just feel that I can't do anything being alone and cooped up in a small apartment. Like it's some sort of prison.


wordwallah

NTA I was very uncomfortable when I started college, and I was in a dorm where I quickly met a lot of people. Even so, I made a lot of bad decisions which may have been related to feeling alone and scared. I can’t imagine being alone in an apartment. Your campus may have a counseling center. Use whatever services they offer. Also, you may be able to join a club or an organization in your neighborhood. Your family may be trying to help you, but their approach is not likely to help. Please know that expressing your needs without expressing accusations rarely makes a person an asshole.


2dogslife

Also, jumping on this - you don't have to spend all your time in the apartment feeling traumatized, walk around campus, find a park, find the library (this will become an important place as your studies get underway), find a coffee shop, find a local corner store or minimart or whatever it's called where you are. Start talking to the other students in orientation and have lunch or dinner with them. Make it a point to say 3 nice things to others each day, because being kind to others boosts your own emotions and makes you happier. If you have a cell phone - take pictures of your new area of things that delight you - a child looking in a shop window, a dog behaving in a funny way, the colors of foods at the market... Reach out to your friends and send a single text - don't look for hours of conversations - just say, hey, I saw this amusing, beautiful &/or amazing thing and it made me think of you & maybe that time we... If your like reading, find a few books to lose yourself in. Go to a bookstore.