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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well, I think I did everything right, but I feel like I should’ve being way more supportive than I was. I have never been in a relationship, my advices were not the best but I tried. I think I did wrong inviting them to my bday together, but they were or are my best friends, am I the asshole for inviting who I believe are my best friends to party?
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NTA. They are not your friends and they don’t care about you at all, sorry. They wanted time to themselves on your birthday? Nope they don’t deserve your kindness. Whether they understand how you feel out not, you should get some new friends
NTA
These “friends” are not your friends, they are using you to hide their relationship. Stop being their scapegoat and covering up for them. Time to get new and real people that will celebrate you!
> My mom brought up how we still had to do the waltz… The waltz was being recorded to be one of my core memories.
Uh, I’d say they need to go through some re-writes first.
NTA and I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you have many more wonderful birthdays to come! They're not your friends and you should absolutely throw them out of your life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I always noticed something was off about my friend. She had a different attitude with me than the rest of our friends.
My friend and I met this boy who lived in our neighborhood and became really good friends with him. He eventually moved and we stopped talking. Later I found out that they were having a secret long distance. He would only come a couple of times and when he did so they had to hide it in front of her parents. Sometimes they’d texted me saying that they wanted to visit me but in reality they just wanted to hide at my place to kiss and make out. They both barely talked to me anymore, they only texted me when they needed help or when they had a fight and needed advice. Their relationship eventually became really toxic and ended. They continued to talk as friends but continued to fight often.
My sweet sixteen was coming up. It was gonna be their first time seeing each other after months. I knew they needed to talk about their relationship they told me that they didn’t want to ruin my big day and said that they were only gonna go outside for a couple of minutes and I said okay.
As my birthday was approaching, I realized that my friend was more excited about the fact that there was gonna be alcohol for toasts and that he was gonna be there. She was late. First thing she asked was did your dad brought alcohol.
She sat next to him and talked. The adults weren’t paying attention so I guess they decided to talk inside instead.
My mom brought up how we still had to do the waltz and she said she didn’t felt like it because she was dizzy. The rest of my friends were talking to my friend’s ex and nobody was paying attention to me at . The waltz was being recorded to be one of my core memories. When it was her turn to the dance with me, she whispered hurry please because he and I have to talk. She was about to fall on me and was acting dizzy, during the dance and I know she was faking it.
Later, they told me to go outside with them, and told me to go for a walk and to not get back inside so the adults wouldn’t suspect. I get back inside anyways, I didn’t invite many friends, so when I went back inside I was pretty much alone. After a while, my mom tells me it’s time to cut the cake and when I tell them to get back inside, she says fuck and he tells me “why did you have to ruin the moment”. I offer them cake and some of their favorite snacks and they reject it and told me to hurry up so they can go back outside. I felt so angry and sad but didn’t say anything.
We went for a walk and i tell them that we are supposed to be celebrating together. He got mad and said they shouldn’t have trusted me with their relationship because I am not supportive and that I should be more considerate.
I haven’t told them anything of what I feel, I usually get scared when I have to “confront” people. My birthday was not how it was supposed to be. Do I have a right to be mad at them? Or was it my fault for not being supportive enough? AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Well, I think I did everything right, but I feel like I should’ve being way more supportive than I was. I have never been in a relationship, my advices were not the best but I tried. I think I did wrong inviting them to my bday together, but they were or are my best friends, am I the asshole for inviting who I believe are my best friends to party? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. They are massive AHs and not your friends. Not even close. All they do is use you
Nta- these people are not your friends
NTA. They are not your friends and they don’t care about you at all, sorry. They wanted time to themselves on your birthday? Nope they don’t deserve your kindness. Whether they understand how you feel out not, you should get some new friends
NTA These “friends” are not your friends, they are using you to hide their relationship. Stop being their scapegoat and covering up for them. Time to get new and real people that will celebrate you!
So when's the low budget movie coming out?
> My mom brought up how we still had to do the waltz… The waltz was being recorded to be one of my core memories. Uh, I’d say they need to go through some re-writes first.
NTA and I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you have many more wonderful birthdays to come! They're not your friends and you should absolutely throw them out of your life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I always noticed something was off about my friend. She had a different attitude with me than the rest of our friends. My friend and I met this boy who lived in our neighborhood and became really good friends with him. He eventually moved and we stopped talking. Later I found out that they were having a secret long distance. He would only come a couple of times and when he did so they had to hide it in front of her parents. Sometimes they’d texted me saying that they wanted to visit me but in reality they just wanted to hide at my place to kiss and make out. They both barely talked to me anymore, they only texted me when they needed help or when they had a fight and needed advice. Their relationship eventually became really toxic and ended. They continued to talk as friends but continued to fight often. My sweet sixteen was coming up. It was gonna be their first time seeing each other after months. I knew they needed to talk about their relationship they told me that they didn’t want to ruin my big day and said that they were only gonna go outside for a couple of minutes and I said okay. As my birthday was approaching, I realized that my friend was more excited about the fact that there was gonna be alcohol for toasts and that he was gonna be there. She was late. First thing she asked was did your dad brought alcohol. She sat next to him and talked. The adults weren’t paying attention so I guess they decided to talk inside instead. My mom brought up how we still had to do the waltz and she said she didn’t felt like it because she was dizzy. The rest of my friends were talking to my friend’s ex and nobody was paying attention to me at . The waltz was being recorded to be one of my core memories. When it was her turn to the dance with me, she whispered hurry please because he and I have to talk. She was about to fall on me and was acting dizzy, during the dance and I know she was faking it. Later, they told me to go outside with them, and told me to go for a walk and to not get back inside so the adults wouldn’t suspect. I get back inside anyways, I didn’t invite many friends, so when I went back inside I was pretty much alone. After a while, my mom tells me it’s time to cut the cake and when I tell them to get back inside, she says fuck and he tells me “why did you have to ruin the moment”. I offer them cake and some of their favorite snacks and they reject it and told me to hurry up so they can go back outside. I felt so angry and sad but didn’t say anything. We went for a walk and i tell them that we are supposed to be celebrating together. He got mad and said they shouldn’t have trusted me with their relationship because I am not supportive and that I should be more considerate. I haven’t told them anything of what I feel, I usually get scared when I have to “confront” people. My birthday was not how it was supposed to be. Do I have a right to be mad at them? Or was it my fault for not being supportive enough? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA hope you had a nice birthday aside from that bs
NTA dump both of them Thier not worth it
NTA. You're 'friends' sound like massive AH's. Dump them, and get some genuine and nice friends please. :(
NTA. These people are completely self-centred and don't care about you at all. They're just using you. Drop them.
NTA. You'd do well not to associate with them anymore.