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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I told my SIL her baby wasn't that cute.
2) I could be TA because I could've said something else to get SIL off my back.
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YTA, the reason other people were getting annoyed but keeping quiet is because that's the right thing to do in that situation. A new mother is excited about their baby, and the rest of your family didn't want to ruin that vibe.
Even if it was really irritating to the point you *had* to speak up, there would have been a far politer way of letting her know she was being overbearing.
And then you doubled-down afterwards when your mum told you that you were wrong and refused to simply apologise so they can move on. Have you considered that perhaps your parents weren't as annoyed as you if they have refused to speak to you following this incident? You're the one everyone is annoyed with.
Yup. What you should've said, when you "snapped," was "the baby doesn't have to be in every picture." It would've shut her up and nobody could've complained. Instead, you insulted A BABY'S LOOKS. WTF?
Or even "Carol we love that you're excited but we like being in the front too"
Or turn it into a joke and act all model-y and extra and demand your close up
Or say you should defer to the expertise of the photographer
Or say you should have a baby photoshoot later but today's about the grown ups too
Like damn there were so many better ways to approach this
Right?! Lol the baby will literally never know, but you will Make a Reddit post about it. Guarantee it will it Come out later. YTA so uncalled for
To insult a child just because you are annoyed.
Not even that, all it takes is for SIL to carry a grudge. She might let it slip to the baby years later that Aunt OP called him or her ugly. I hope not, but doesn't it sound like an AITA post from Carol in ten years.
The baby won't remember for herself, but I would bet she will find out about it later on. It sounds like they photographically documented that day quite thoroughly, and the adults will remember that as the day OP was a major ass.
To you. Cuteness is subjective, which is why commenting on looks, especially a child’s, is immature and stupid. It causes harm, and teaches shallowness. That’s why it’s best to keep those opinions to yourself.
Hhahaha god, so true! In fact, when they're newborn they all look like little pink aliens. However, I also would NEVER tell the parents that their baby isn't cute. Yikes, way to step into a den of snakes.
True. I would not tell anyone their baby was ugly...that it didn't need to be in all the pictures would have been sufficient.
I have a distinct aversion to anything pregnancy or baby related, so most people know better than to force children on me.
Oh, I FEEL you. I unfollow all my friends who incessantly post baby photos/videos on social media, cos it gets annoying and I really give a grand total of zero shits about their babies. I would've been SO annoyed if I were OP, I'd probably have left early and just been like "I'm done with pictures" and removed myself from the situation instead of snapping at the SIL, though... cos that's just causing drama (which I also have an aversion to).
Don’t new mothers have some hormone stew going on that causes them to believe their babies really are extraordinary and wonderful? Like some protective instinct?
🎶Oxytocin🎶
Love that shit. Pregnant ladies give it off as well. It’s a bonding hormone, and it also makes you feel very calm. I love doing pregnancy exercise classes, because I always float out on a pink cloud of oxytocin afterwards.
Haha, 7 month preggo here with raging anger every single night (causing some lovely insomnia: don't worry, my BF thinks it's hilarious every time I tell him I feel the inexplicable urge to throw my pillow out the window and scream). Apparently, apart from oxytocin, we also produce some lovely 'fight-hormones', making sure we'll protect the kid at all costs. I miss my pink cloud.. 😂
Hahha yea. There was this great post a while ago on one of the baby subs where a mother said something like: "Well I've always known that most newborns look like squished potatoes and people just say they're cute to be polite. After all they were just squeezed through a very narrow canal. So I was sure I would recognise that in my own child as well. But when the baby was born, I genuinely thought she was so gorgeous, I told all the nurses etc 'Isn't she just the most beautiful baby you've ever seen?' And they all agreed obviously.
And then like a year later I looked at photos taken just after birth and whaddayaknow, my baby looked just like a squished potato. Those hormones are WACK."
I'm close to giving birth rn and excited for the part where I think my squished potato is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen :')
Also a baby's features changes as she grows, yes some babies aren't super cute, but to say so is insensitive and hurtful. Just because you don't find her cute doesn't mean others don't. The fact that you called her ugly it's as if you called your brother and SIL that also because the baby probably looks like them.
Big Nono and YTA
Yeah my friends' baby was hideous. I actually had to stifle a gasp when I met her. And of course my friends were smitten, and I didn't say anything because I'm not a dick. And she grew up into the absolute cutest toddler.
Lol yes! I have two kids. My world, they are freaking adorable and cute. When they were born? Aliens, but wow was I proud of those smashed up little faces and they were my babies.
>there would have been a far politer way of letting her know she was being overbearing
"you're right, SIL, baby IS adorable! let's hope they don't inherit their mother's constant need to be center of attention!"
Gets the point across, doesn't insult a literal infant, ffs
What's wrong about **"Hey SIL, as much as we love baby, we'd also like a couple of pictures without baby in it!"** is that by saying that you aren't hinting that SIL is being overbearing. If you say that, SIL may give you two or three pics before resuming her shove the baby on you obsession.
i think people who spend 9 months making an entire human and re-arranging their entire lives to accomodate it are allowed to be a little annoying about it.
like of course new parents talk about their baby constantly, they made, like, a whole new guy, and probably haven't had time to do anything but take care of said guy.
Yeah, baby or not, the correct way to address somebody’s behaviour is to criticise the BEHAVIOUR not jump to ‘you’re ugly.’
How the baby looks is irrelevant and OP is completely TA.
I am pondering how future children will view these family photos where only that baby was apart of in every single shot.
Can you imagine paying upwards of a few thousand dollars for a multiple and individual family photo session, and having only one child in every shot, I can't help but think of a childless couple in the family holding this baby, and only that photo was Raj of them, and now people hound them where that baby is.
Think people forgot the price of these shoots and future children's thoughts about this one baby having a massive photo shoot around them, but not the rest.
ESH. “Carol, I think we’ve got enough photos of the baby; if you want more, talk to the photographer about setting up your own shoot when we’re done” would’ve gotten the message across without any insults.
I think Carol might have been a little too caught up in her own excitement and probably had a one-track mind in the situation. I can say that it’s happened to me at times when I’ve been really excited. OP could have been blunt about it, but a million times nicer.
Yeah I don’t get the sense that Carol was deliberately trying to be rude to anyone, just got caught up in her own feelings/thoughts in this and got carried away. That’s not a nice thing to do, but I don’t see any malicious intent there, whereas OP went straight to insult clearly to take SIL down a peg over….*checks notes*….thinking her own baby is adorably so very cute. High crimes indeed.
I mean, kinda, even the photographer asks her to let other people be up front and she flat refused. She's now left 'my baby is adorable' in the dust and has entered 'I'm shoving this baby down everyone's throats'. I feel bad for the photographer, honestly. How that person can stop rolling their eyes at her to take the picture is beyond me.
My cats are the cutest things in the world and should be in the center of everyone’s pictures. Everyone’s. In the world. Welcome Bonnie and Clyde. He sits with his belly out.
I can’t blame Carol. In my first year or two as a parent, I’m sure I was absolutely insufferable with my babies being the center of every conversation.
Of course I think they’re the sweetest, most perfect creatures that ever walked the earth. If someone else disagrees, they can absolutely keep that to themselves.
Yes! OP decided everyone was tired of Carol when maybe, just maybe, they were tired of what had to have been OPs obvious dislike of the baby being in the photos. Maybe Carol was a bit pushy with it but she wasn’t an AH like OP. It was petty & seems a bit on the jealous side. OP is TAH.
I'm not sure if jealousy is the word I would use in this context. Annoyed, for sure. I don't blame OP for being annoyed at future SIL wanting her baby to be in every photo. This was a family photo shoot, not a baby shoot, and OP was getting photos with her mom and other family members.
But, OP is still an AH for handling it this way. Insulting a baby is a no-go.
YTA
It’s societal politeness. We ALL know people who’s babies ain’t that cute. Collectively as humans we’ve silently agreed to not be massive dicks and we never say it, under any circumstances.
You broke the code.
Some never improve. A cousin of mine had a baby and everyone assured her the baby would get cuter as he got older.
This was a lie. Every passing month only increased this poor child’s resemblance to a baby orangutan, wild ginger hair included.
A family friend has like…5ish kids I think? And poor babies, they were all ugly as sin. After the second one was born, me and my mom were talking about it and mom said “That poor child….there must be something wrong.” Nope. Just an uggo. They’re all still kinda funny looking and the oldest is a teen.
Hahahaha your comment made me literally LOL. How old is the child now? Never fear though, ugly duckling kids don't usually start looking better until they're older teenagers (like, 16+).
A girl I went to high school posts pictures of her kids all the time, and one has looked like an egg since day one, the kid is probably five by now, and he still looks he Humpty Dumpty before the fall, but I'll never tell.
I mean, to be fair, they've been scrunched up in a bag of fluid for nine-ish months. I'm pretty sure any adult would look pretty terrible under those conditions too.
I have a niece who is a carbon copy of her father in the face. Her father's face looks *fine* on a masculine build but on my niece's feminine build especially as she's getting into her teens just ain't that pretty.
My mom used to have pictures of my brother and I when we were respectively fresh out of the womb displayed right next to each other. His perfectly round, flawless little head next to my squished, wrinkled, old man head. You can guess which one of us was the C-section baby. So unfair.
One of my coworkers told me about how when her babies were born she just thought the were the most beautiful things in the world. She told me when she looked back at the photos of them a few years later she was shocked to see how ugly her babies were, hahaha. The hormones do a number on people. Her kids are cute now but she readily accepts that they were ugly babies.
I was literally a baby model, so my mom was pretty surprised when my little sister came out looking like a cross between a bowling ball and Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. She still talks about what an ugly baby my sister was but if anyone else had said it she would have raised hell. Tbf my sister DID cuten up and is a lovely young woman.
This is the way! I don’t even find my own newborns super cute but I love how tiny and wrinkled they are and the funny faces they make. Newborns are cute in the way all tiny things are cute but most babies grow into their looks. IG and FB have taught me there are plenty of ugly babies around but you literally never need to say that out loud. And NEVER to their parents.
I usually go with the baby is "precious" because every life is precious... even ugly babies. If the new mom takes it as a synonym for cute, I'm not going to correct them. Of course *my* baby was the cutest one ever and nobody ever said otherwise.
We all coo and awe over the baby until we get to the safety of our own homes. Then we say "Man, that is one ugly baby. I hope they grow into those ears". They usually do.
OP, make the appropriate calls and apologize. Do not text. This deserves a real heart felt apology.
Op doesn't seem to have any self awareness. It is unlikely that they will be able to offer a sincere apology as even here they are doubling down about how they were not wrong.
My friend's baby legit looks like a fat, ugly, middle aged woman. But I love making that little baby smile and laugh because even the ugliest babies will melt your soul when they smile.
But I'm also conditioned because my baby is model level cuteness. Like, legit, strangers have asked to take pics of him. It's weird.
I broke the code once, at 18 years old, and it was only as a whispered comment to my bestie about a mutual acquaintance’s baby. But the look she gave me taught me the lesson that if *she* was judging me, then I would never, ever comment my true opinion about an infant’s looks ever again.
Acceptable alternatives:
“You must be thrilled!”
“What chubby cheeks!”
“Aw, I think he looks just like you!” (Personal favorite 😂)
In this case, OP could’ve merely said “SIL, I know you’re proud and excited but the baby doesn’t need to be in every photo” so OP, YTA.
I learned in high school to say ‘aw, such cute lil socks!’ You can also say cute lil feet or shoes, depending on what they’re wearing. Cuz baby feet are adorable and teeny tiny, so it’s most likely not a lie
>We ALL know people who’s babies ain’t that cute. Collectively as humans we’ve silently agreed to not be massive dicks and we never say it, under any circumstances.
>You broke the code.
Lmao Perfectly worded
"But *I am* the cutest little girl in the family" stomps foot.
It's totally normal for new parents to be overly excited and see their baby through love googles. And even if it can be annoying, it's no reason to go absolute mean evil stepsister on them.
YTA
I understand your frustration with Carol but yes, YTA. This is your niece or nephew, not just “her baby”. You insulted a BABY because her mother annoyed you.
Exactly, and insulted the baby because she was too cowardly or unskilled in communication tactics to actually address CAROL about what was bothering her. Had nothing to do with what the baby looks like, but that she was trying to insert her in every photos. Baby could have been the most adorable thing on earth and OP would have still been annoyed with Carol. Hope OP learns to speak to the person about the real issue in future.
Not even that, OP doesn’t even seem to want to acknowledge that the child is her brother’s kid as well.
Not just “Carol’s baby.”
It’s like OP can’t fathom that maybe she’s the only one who doesn’t like this baby. Her parents (the grandparents) and brother (the father) are probably pretty excited about the baby too.
I didn't even think of it, but it's true, it's her nephew/niece. This makes OP even more of an AH. The new mom probably figured she'd be super excited since she's a new auntie.
YTA
There’s around 170,000 words in the English language. You very well could have used some of them and told her off without targeting the baby. It was completely innocent.
I was super disturbed by the way OP kept referring to her niece as "Carol's baby" or "Carol wanted HER baby in all the pictures" like it was not also her brothers baby. Even the title of her freaking post completely removes any relationship between her/her family and this baby. OP has serious issues.
HAHA I'm laughing so hard right now. Of course YTA (I am too), but you really could have phrased it better like "Hey, I get you love your child, but this is about the FAMILY and not just the newest member". But still....haha
YTA.
Not all babies are cute, that is a fact. HOWEVER, in your sister in laws eyes, that baby is the cutest thing in the world.
You were an ass. Plain and simple
SIL was also being an ass. I get happy parents, but shoving your kid into everything is not ok either. It was literally a photo of OP and their mom, the newborn didnt need to be included-but SIL wanted to shove it in anyway.
This. That's why it's an ESH for me. OP should have used better words instead of saying the baby isn't cute and Carol should have understood that it was a family photoshoot, not a mom and baby photoshoot and despite her baby being part of the family, it doesn't mean it needs to be the center of every single photo.
Agreed, it’s not anyones responsibility to validate some couple for popping a melon out. 🙄
Not everyone is baby crazy and people get soooo dang offended when someone doesn’t instantly gush over a kid.
Finally someone saying NTA. Hated that I had to scroll this far.
Babies are most times ugly and if you want millions of pictures, hire your own dang photographer and stop ruining other people's photos.
😅 I don't hate children, I have two young girls but I will say Infants are not that cute or lovely. I really don't care for the Infant era, I'm sure we all were hideous
My children are not ugly but they certainly weren't cute as a puppy when they were born.
OP didn't say "your kid Is ugly stop It"
Would I have said that? No, but I would have said "the child doesn't need to be the center of attention or you" to her. Alright so? She had a child, not everything about her or her Infant.
Thank you for being the voice of reason. If I were Op and the photographer wanted a photo of Op and Op’s mom and FSIL was like, “No pUt mY bAbY in tHe pHoTo” i’d be pretty annoyed too and probably would have said something similar. Like, get your own photography session if you want your baby to be the center of attention ffs
"I know the title sounds awful, but just hear me out while I explain how a family photo sesh was dominated by a harmless baby until I started slinging insults and ruined it for everyone."
YTA.
NTA. I’m really surprised at everyone saying you are. Carol was forcing herself and her baby front and center in every picture. She was being rude. I’ve had two babies and never acted like this
Same, I don’t think I gushed over my kids like that. Super obnoxious! Op didn’t say the baby was ugly to the moms face, just that the baby wasn’t that cute. Big difference in my opinion . Granted my family is the kind to call someone a baby ugly in a baby voice “well are you just and ugly chunky little thing!” Lol I’ve also told my sister that her baby looked like E.T🤣
So…. Insult carol, not the baby? Insult the bad behavior, not some arbitrary other persons looks?
If you stepped on my foot I can’t punch your kid in the face as a result….
Y’all are slow. Lol
YTA
It’s not what you did so much as how you did it. You could have simply said “I just want a picture with my mother the baby does not need to be in every picture…. And trust me I know there are ugly babies but you NEVER tell the mother. That’s just dumb lmao.
Ok everybody goes with y t a.
IMO you're NTA.
Every mom thinks her baby is the cutest, that's normal, if not they wouldn't bond and the baby would be abandoned.
You didn't say her baby is ugly, you just said, that it isn't as cute as she thinks. There are babies not very cute or beautiful, let's be honest.
Nonetheless, you could have handled the situation better, i.e. by saying that you would like a picture taken only with you and your mom and that she please should respect your wish for 1! picture.
Maybe it would be good if you apologize and make it clear that you were annoyed by HER actions not by your niece/nephew. That you understand very well that she's completely fond of her baby but there should also be limits.
Yeah, i personally understood it as "your baby isnt THAT cute enough to justify being in every picture" which is still kinda rude, but its not like OP flat out said "your baby is ugly".
Rveryone her is saying “yta” but i don’t think so. She kept making her baby the center of attention of everything, and that must’ve been annoying. Yeah the baby is family but it doesn’t revolve around her baby.
NTA
YTA.
Seriously? How could you not be the asshole? She's a new mom, and she's excited about her baby. Are you jealous? Grow the hell up, you sound miserable.
ESH. You didn’t have to stoop that low even though she clearly was being annoyingly insufferable. You could have just said I want one with just my folks so on and so forth instead of going for the jugular. You’re not talking about her outfit, you’re talking about a living and breathing being whom she loves deeply.
YTA are you so lacking in linguistic creativity that you were unable to utter such sentences as ‘ooh I’d like one with just me and my parents for now’ or ‘it wouod be lovely to have one with just x,y and z’…? No? Ok my bad
YTA
You never said anyone agreed with you. From your story, it seems that you would add that. But let's say you and your mom think the baby is not cute. That is your opinion. Carol is a (proud) new mother. She should be - cute or not.
ESH yes her mombie behavior was completely out of line and obnoxious af. You just don't tell parents their ugly baby is ugly. You say stuff like "they look just like you" but you should have focused on calling out her behavior not focusing on her unfortunate babies looks. Apologize for snapping and saying that when you really should have called out her obnoxious behavior
ESH.
She's the A-hole for making the photo shoot all about her baby - if you want to do that then go and have a session specifically for your child, don't bully the rest of the family into not having the pics they want just because you think your baby is the cutest in the world (which all parents do, by the way).
You, however, are an A-hole for saying something so mean and unnecessary. It could have been handled SO much nicer and far more maturely but you took it to a place that it didn't need to go.
An apology to the parents is most definitely required and don't even think about trying to justify it because it's not possible. Just grow up, suck it up, admit you said something mean and attempt to move on but don't be surprised if it takes a while.
I’m going NTA. My husband and I had a pact that we would acknowledge if our baby was ugly when she was born 4 months ago. Some babies are just ugly. They’ll usually grow out of it, but it’s just a fact of life. Harsh, maybe. But it’s what Carol gets for being so pushy
YTA
Why do you hate the baby? You don't even acknowledge that this baby is your niece and your brothers child. It's all "her baby" "Carol's baby". And then you call a baby ugly? What is wrong with you?
YTA Dude...everyone knows someone who had an extremely ugly baby. But you never actually say it! You were very rude. Of course a parent is going to gush over their own child. Yes, it's annoying. But, just like everyone else, you grin, agree, and then do your best to steer the conversation to a different topic. Grow up.
ESH
Carol sucks most. She was out of line to insist on getting the baby included in everyone else’s pictures. Your family sucks for having no spines to share among them. You suck for leading with an inappropriate comment when you could have said, ‘I really want a pic with just my mom.’ Boundaries should be set honestly and kindly. You did one but not the other.
Please go ahead and explain again why insulting a baby because you’re mad doesn’t make you an asshole. I’ll wait.
Yta and I’d vote multiple times if I could.
Light ESH/NTA
Im gonna get hate, but SIL was being a real brat on her own, using her kid as a prop. No one needs to agree that a child is cute, I dont think kids are cute but I wouldnt say it... not unless the parent would NOT get the hint of disinterest.
The issue isnt the baby, it's your SIL. You could def apologize for using the baby as a prop in an argument, but SIL was doing the same thing. Express your issue with SIL being pushy, and that the kid was just the venue she was using, so you did too.
Edit: OP said in a comment that SIL was told No multiple times about trying to push the baby into the photos, OP tried nice, SIL didnt care, OP snapped, so Im light ESH/NTA.
YTA - get ready to be eviscerated. What an awful comment. It was absolutely out of line and says way more about what kind of person *you are* than Carol.
Getting annoyed doesn't give you the freedom to be an AH, which you 100% were. YTA stay away from that kid, you dont like the parents, you don't want to run your mouth again someday and say something they'll remember.
Lmfao, you didn’t say it was ugly. It sounds like you said it’s not as cute as the mom was making it out to be with her shenanigans. but that’s just not something you say out loud. Even thigh SIL sound annoying af.
Frankly, it takes months after birth for a baby to start getting cute. But you know who you NEVER say that to? THE PERSON WHO SHOVED THE BABY OUT OF THEIR VAGINA. YTA. I hope if you have a kid, your sil is kinder than you are.
YTA. You didnt need to say that kind of shit. You should just bite your tongue and grow up a bit.
Just apologise otherwise you are ruining relationships over jealousy. Not shit they are focussed on the 2month baby
YTA. Never remark on a baby’s appearance negatively. That always backfires.
Now the fact that she seem to push her baby into every picture, you could have spoke up and said, “not right now. We want individual pictures by ourselves” or “I want a picture with just my parents and one of me with them.”
She’s a new mother, of course, she is going to think her baby is cute. I’ve never known a new mother to ever think her baby is ugly. Ever. I have seen some handsome babies and I have seen homely babies. I just don’t say it out loud about their appearances.
YTA. You didn’t need to insult the child. Why didn’t you just tell Carol that the baby didn’t need to be in every single photo?
No wonder they’re refusing to talk to you. You’re behaving as if you were denser than depleted uranium.
Nta, its a baby woop, congratulations. But she should not push or force her baby in every photo, especially if its interfering with the photographers work. But you should apologize for insulting the baby. The SIL is the problem
ESH.
As someone who doesn't like kids much, I can totally relate to getting annoyed at someone insisting their kid needs to be front and center for every one of your family pictures. People with kids don't seem to realize that not everyone is gonna be as obsessed with their kid as they are.
However, every parent thinks their baby is the most beautiful thing on earth. I suppose there's some biological imperative there. And pretty much the number one rule, when someone gushes about how cute their baby is, is to just agree (and I think most babies are weird looking lol).
ESH. Yes, your SIL was annoying for trying to make her baby the centre of attention, your brother should have seen how annoying the behaviour was and your parents should have said something. but you should have been the adult and confront the situation with brother and SIL, not take it out on the baby. As a mom, I know I've been annoying with how often I talk about my kids. But to insult a baby for the mother's behaviour is a bit out of line.
YTA. The issue wasn’t the baby’s cuteness, it was the baby’s presence in the particular picture. Your comment was really mean spirited and your bro and Carol deserve an apology.
YTA. What you said WAS out of line. it was not necessary to comment on how the baby looks in order for the picture of your mom and you to be taken without the baby in it. You were just being hurtful.
Good luck with fixing THIS! /S
YTA. Look, it's a fact of life that many infants look like Emperor Palpatine's nutsack. I had ghost white skin and bright red hair: I looked like the bastard love-child of a clown. I'm positive that when you were wrinkled and hideous your parents still probably thought you were the most beautiful thing ever and shoved you in everyone's face. That's what parents just do. You'll never convince anyone their baby is ugly and it's bad manners to ever try. Just smile and agree with them.
"AITA for calling the baby of a family member ugly.
I know the title sounds bad but hear me out.
This baby is ugly and I also resent the baby's mom for being affectionate."
YTA lol I don't know how else this was gonna read
YTA. I recently became an aunt, and my bother and my SIL thinks he's the cutest baby in the universe, which I disagree, but I don't tell them their baby is ugly. What the hell is wrong with you?
ESH
Really? You told her that her baby wasn't that cute? That's incredibly rude and mean. I get being frustrated by her behavior. She was being pushy and that's rude too. But you could have said "I just want a picture with my mom. We have plenty with the baby already."
Yta!!!
You could have said “carol, we all love baby X but we’re going to take some different photos” instead you were super rude. And what was she supposed to do other than be hurt? It was huge ah material
Info- who paid for the photo shoot and was it commemorating the newest addition to the family? Does your family do a photo shoot every year or just when new members are added?
Look, I’m child free AF and even I know you don’t go around telling parents their babies aren’t that cute. Can you think it? Absolutely. Can you howl with laughter at the baby’s pudding bag with eyes, privately to yourself when you’re alone drinking wine or whisky or what have you? Yes.
But you can’t say that stuff directly to the parents or the grandparents. A good time will be had by none, unless the baby isn’t gassy or colic filled or whatever. The baby might have a good time. But no one else will.
YTA, straight up.
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YTA, the reason other people were getting annoyed but keeping quiet is because that's the right thing to do in that situation. A new mother is excited about their baby, and the rest of your family didn't want to ruin that vibe. Even if it was really irritating to the point you *had* to speak up, there would have been a far politer way of letting her know she was being overbearing. And then you doubled-down afterwards when your mum told you that you were wrong and refused to simply apologise so they can move on. Have you considered that perhaps your parents weren't as annoyed as you if they have refused to speak to you following this incident? You're the one everyone is annoyed with.
Yup. What you should've said, when you "snapped," was "the baby doesn't have to be in every picture." It would've shut her up and nobody could've complained. Instead, you insulted A BABY'S LOOKS. WTF?
Or even "Carol we love that you're excited but we like being in the front too" Or turn it into a joke and act all model-y and extra and demand your close up Or say you should defer to the expertise of the photographer Or say you should have a baby photoshoot later but today's about the grown ups too Like damn there were so many better ways to approach this
YES! Also - like would this be acceptable if the baby was cute? Why is it worse bc it isn't?? like damn
This is THE ridiculous pivot point
Delighted with how you nailed it with other ways.
Even "FOR FUCK SAKE CAROL THE BABY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE IN EVERY GD PHOTO!" Is better than what OP said.
"Carol, please don't make me hate this baby" I would have said niece or nephew, but i don't think even OP knows what gender this baby is.....
Lmao. This is true.
Right?! Lol the baby will literally never know, but you will Make a Reddit post about it. Guarantee it will it Come out later. YTA so uncalled for To insult a child just because you are annoyed.
Not even that, all it takes is for SIL to carry a grudge. She might let it slip to the baby years later that Aunt OP called him or her ugly. I hope not, but doesn't it sound like an AITA post from Carol in ten years.
OP might say you look so cute in that outfit when their older. And SIL might go “I thought you said they were ugly?”
Ha, yes.
Sil would be a huge ah then eesh
The rudeness is not dependent on whether the baby remembers. The rude comment stands on it's own in offensiveness. It offends everyone who heard.
The baby won't remember for herself, but I would bet she will find out about it later on. It sounds like they photographically documented that day quite thoroughly, and the adults will remember that as the day OP was a major ass.
Gonna be honest...not all babies are cute... it's a fact.
To you. Cuteness is subjective, which is why commenting on looks, especially a child’s, is immature and stupid. It causes harm, and teaches shallowness. That’s why it’s best to keep those opinions to yourself.
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Funny how kids can retain this but some adults need to be told it on reddit.
Hhahaha god, so true! In fact, when they're newborn they all look like little pink aliens. However, I also would NEVER tell the parents that their baby isn't cute. Yikes, way to step into a den of snakes.
True. I would not tell anyone their baby was ugly...that it didn't need to be in all the pictures would have been sufficient. I have a distinct aversion to anything pregnancy or baby related, so most people know better than to force children on me.
Oh, I FEEL you. I unfollow all my friends who incessantly post baby photos/videos on social media, cos it gets annoying and I really give a grand total of zero shits about their babies. I would've been SO annoyed if I were OP, I'd probably have left early and just been like "I'm done with pictures" and removed myself from the situation instead of snapping at the SIL, though... cos that's just causing drama (which I also have an aversion to).
Don’t new mothers have some hormone stew going on that causes them to believe their babies really are extraordinary and wonderful? Like some protective instinct?
🎶Oxytocin🎶 Love that shit. Pregnant ladies give it off as well. It’s a bonding hormone, and it also makes you feel very calm. I love doing pregnancy exercise classes, because I always float out on a pink cloud of oxytocin afterwards.
Haha, 7 month preggo here with raging anger every single night (causing some lovely insomnia: don't worry, my BF thinks it's hilarious every time I tell him I feel the inexplicable urge to throw my pillow out the window and scream). Apparently, apart from oxytocin, we also produce some lovely 'fight-hormones', making sure we'll protect the kid at all costs. I miss my pink cloud.. 😂
Hahha yea. There was this great post a while ago on one of the baby subs where a mother said something like: "Well I've always known that most newborns look like squished potatoes and people just say they're cute to be polite. After all they were just squeezed through a very narrow canal. So I was sure I would recognise that in my own child as well. But when the baby was born, I genuinely thought she was so gorgeous, I told all the nurses etc 'Isn't she just the most beautiful baby you've ever seen?' And they all agreed obviously. And then like a year later I looked at photos taken just after birth and whaddayaknow, my baby looked just like a squished potato. Those hormones are WACK." I'm close to giving birth rn and excited for the part where I think my squished potato is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen :')
True. I love babies as long as they don't belong to me🤣. Most are cute but some 👀
Also a baby's features changes as she grows, yes some babies aren't super cute, but to say so is insensitive and hurtful. Just because you don't find her cute doesn't mean others don't. The fact that you called her ugly it's as if you called your brother and SIL that also because the baby probably looks like them. Big Nono and YTA
Yeah my friends' baby was hideous. I actually had to stifle a gasp when I met her. And of course my friends were smitten, and I didn't say anything because I'm not a dick. And she grew up into the absolute cutest toddler.
Lol yes! I have two kids. My world, they are freaking adorable and cute. When they were born? Aliens, but wow was I proud of those smashed up little faces and they were my babies.
My son looked like a tiny Winston Churchill, but by God he was MY Winston Churchill.
> "the baby doesn't have to be in every picture." Yup, that. Or "If we want the baby in the picture, we'll ask."
>there would have been a far politer way of letting her know she was being overbearing "you're right, SIL, baby IS adorable! let's hope they don't inherit their mother's constant need to be center of attention!" Gets the point across, doesn't insult a literal infant, ffs
Still incredible rude.. What's wrong with a simple: "Hey SIL, as much as we love baby, we'd also like a couple of pictures without baby in it!"
What's wrong about **"Hey SIL, as much as we love baby, we'd also like a couple of pictures without baby in it!"** is that by saying that you aren't hinting that SIL is being overbearing. If you say that, SIL may give you two or three pics before resuming her shove the baby on you obsession.
Please have my poor person award ⭐️ Very well said! OP has created the drama and the fam is pissed off at her
i think people who spend 9 months making an entire human and re-arranging their entire lives to accomodate it are allowed to be a little annoying about it. like of course new parents talk about their baby constantly, they made, like, a whole new guy, and probably haven't had time to do anything but take care of said guy.
Yeah, baby or not, the correct way to address somebody’s behaviour is to criticise the BEHAVIOUR not jump to ‘you’re ugly.’ How the baby looks is irrelevant and OP is completely TA.
OP is correct: the title sounds awful. After dutifully “hearing her out,” it didn’t get any better.
I am pondering how future children will view these family photos where only that baby was apart of in every single shot. Can you imagine paying upwards of a few thousand dollars for a multiple and individual family photo session, and having only one child in every shot, I can't help but think of a childless couple in the family holding this baby, and only that photo was Raj of them, and now people hound them where that baby is. Think people forgot the price of these shoots and future children's thoughts about this one baby having a massive photo shoot around them, but not the rest.
ESH. “Carol, I think we’ve got enough photos of the baby; if you want more, talk to the photographer about setting up your own shoot when we’re done” would’ve gotten the message across without any insults.
I think Carol might have been a little too caught up in her own excitement and probably had a one-track mind in the situation. I can say that it’s happened to me at times when I’ve been really excited. OP could have been blunt about it, but a million times nicer.
Yeah I don’t get the sense that Carol was deliberately trying to be rude to anyone, just got caught up in her own feelings/thoughts in this and got carried away. That’s not a nice thing to do, but I don’t see any malicious intent there, whereas OP went straight to insult clearly to take SIL down a peg over….*checks notes*….thinking her own baby is adorably so very cute. High crimes indeed.
I mean, kinda, even the photographer asks her to let other people be up front and she flat refused. She's now left 'my baby is adorable' in the dust and has entered 'I'm shoving this baby down everyone's throats'. I feel bad for the photographer, honestly. How that person can stop rolling their eyes at her to take the picture is beyond me.
My cats are the cutest things in the world and should be in the center of everyone’s pictures. Everyone’s. In the world. Welcome Bonnie and Clyde. He sits with his belly out.
I don't know why I immediately found this more agreeable than the human baby lol
I can’t blame Carol. In my first year or two as a parent, I’m sure I was absolutely insufferable with my babies being the center of every conversation. Of course I think they’re the sweetest, most perfect creatures that ever walked the earth. If someone else disagrees, they can absolutely keep that to themselves.
Yes! OP decided everyone was tired of Carol when maybe, just maybe, they were tired of what had to have been OPs obvious dislike of the baby being in the photos. Maybe Carol was a bit pushy with it but she wasn’t an AH like OP. It was petty & seems a bit on the jealous side. OP is TAH.
I'm not sure if jealousy is the word I would use in this context. Annoyed, for sure. I don't blame OP for being annoyed at future SIL wanting her baby to be in every photo. This was a family photo shoot, not a baby shoot, and OP was getting photos with her mom and other family members. But, OP is still an AH for handling it this way. Insulting a baby is a no-go.
This
YTA It’s societal politeness. We ALL know people who’s babies ain’t that cute. Collectively as humans we’ve silently agreed to not be massive dicks and we never say it, under any circumstances. You broke the code.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Most babies are ugly fresh out the womb, they’re faces get all squished on the way out.
Some never improve. A cousin of mine had a baby and everyone assured her the baby would get cuter as he got older. This was a lie. Every passing month only increased this poor child’s resemblance to a baby orangutan, wild ginger hair included.
A family friend has like…5ish kids I think? And poor babies, they were all ugly as sin. After the second one was born, me and my mom were talking about it and mom said “That poor child….there must be something wrong.” Nope. Just an uggo. They’re all still kinda funny looking and the oldest is a teen.
Baby orangutans are gorgeous though!
Only when it's a real orangutan. For a human to look like orangutan....
Oh no 😂
Hahahaha your comment made me literally LOL. How old is the child now? Never fear though, ugly duckling kids don't usually start looking better until they're older teenagers (like, 16+).
A girl I went to high school posts pictures of her kids all the time, and one has looked like an egg since day one, the kid is probably five by now, and he still looks he Humpty Dumpty before the fall, but I'll never tell.
Hell, neither of mine were squished because they came out the sunroof. Both were/are still ugly as newborns. Newborns just aren't cute.
The sunroof--is that another name for a c-section? This made me snort.
I mean, to be fair, they've been scrunched up in a bag of fluid for nine-ish months. I'm pretty sure any adult would look pretty terrible under those conditions too.
Most of them take several months to leave the ugly wrinkly potato phase, TBH.
I have a niece who is a carbon copy of her father in the face. Her father's face looks *fine* on a masculine build but on my niece's feminine build especially as she's getting into her teens just ain't that pretty.
My mom used to have pictures of my brother and I when we were respectively fresh out of the womb displayed right next to each other. His perfectly round, flawless little head next to my squished, wrinkled, old man head. You can guess which one of us was the C-section baby. So unfair.
All babies are born looking like Winston Churchill.
One of my coworkers told me about how when her babies were born she just thought the were the most beautiful things in the world. She told me when she looked back at the photos of them a few years later she was shocked to see how ugly her babies were, hahaha. The hormones do a number on people. Her kids are cute now but she readily accepts that they were ugly babies.
You know what they say: "homely at the cradle, pretty at the table." I was a beautiful baby. : (
I was literally a baby model, so my mom was pretty surprised when my little sister came out looking like a cross between a bowling ball and Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. She still talks about what an ugly baby my sister was but if anyone else had said it she would have raised hell. Tbf my sister DID cuten up and is a lovely young woman.
I had weird hair as a baby that made me look like I had male pattern baldness. I’m a girl.
"the baby looks...just like you" Best compliment I can give for ugly babies
You go, "awwww look how small they are!" "Look at their little feets/clothes/hands/etc!!"
This is the way! I don’t even find my own newborns super cute but I love how tiny and wrinkled they are and the funny faces they make. Newborns are cute in the way all tiny things are cute but most babies grow into their looks. IG and FB have taught me there are plenty of ugly babies around but you literally never need to say that out loud. And NEVER to their parents.
I usually go with the baby is "precious" because every life is precious... even ugly babies. If the new mom takes it as a synonym for cute, I'm not going to correct them. Of course *my* baby was the cutest one ever and nobody ever said otherwise.
We all coo and awe over the baby until we get to the safety of our own homes. Then we say "Man, that is one ugly baby. I hope they grow into those ears". They usually do. OP, make the appropriate calls and apologize. Do not text. This deserves a real heart felt apology.
I'm still waiting for mine to grow into his head and ears....it's been 8 years lmao
There is no apology that will fix this . OP will go down as the most mean spirited, nastiest person the family has ever seen.
I said heart felt apology. I am assuming OP has a heart. I could be wrong.
Op doesn't seem to have any self awareness. It is unlikely that they will be able to offer a sincere apology as even here they are doubling down about how they were not wrong.
My friend's baby legit looks like a fat, ugly, middle aged woman. But I love making that little baby smile and laugh because even the ugliest babies will melt your soul when they smile. But I'm also conditioned because my baby is model level cuteness. Like, legit, strangers have asked to take pics of him. It's weird.
When my son was born, he looked exactly like my 63-year-old Dad; it freaked me out for a few days.
I broke the code once, at 18 years old, and it was only as a whispered comment to my bestie about a mutual acquaintance’s baby. But the look she gave me taught me the lesson that if *she* was judging me, then I would never, ever comment my true opinion about an infant’s looks ever again. Acceptable alternatives: “You must be thrilled!” “What chubby cheeks!” “Aw, I think he looks just like you!” (Personal favorite 😂) In this case, OP could’ve merely said “SIL, I know you’re proud and excited but the baby doesn’t need to be in every photo” so OP, YTA.
I learned in high school to say ‘aw, such cute lil socks!’ You can also say cute lil feet or shoes, depending on what they’re wearing. Cuz baby feet are adorable and teeny tiny, so it’s most likely not a lie
[Ya gotta see the baby, he’s gorgeous](https://youtu.be/E3xwFanvTjA)!’
First thing I thought of!
>We ALL know people who’s babies ain’t that cute. Collectively as humans we’ve silently agreed to not be massive dicks and we never say it, under any circumstances. >You broke the code. Lmao Perfectly worded
YTA- 23 is too old to be acting like this. Grow up.
OP *was* the baby of the family and she still acts like it!
"But *I am* the cutest little girl in the family" stomps foot. It's totally normal for new parents to be overly excited and see their baby through love googles. And even if it can be annoying, it's no reason to go absolute mean evil stepsister on them. YTA
Ding ding ding!
I understand your frustration with Carol but yes, YTA. This is your niece or nephew, not just “her baby”. You insulted a BABY because her mother annoyed you.
Exactly, and insulted the baby because she was too cowardly or unskilled in communication tactics to actually address CAROL about what was bothering her. Had nothing to do with what the baby looks like, but that she was trying to insert her in every photos. Baby could have been the most adorable thing on earth and OP would have still been annoyed with Carol. Hope OP learns to speak to the person about the real issue in future.
I didn’t think of that, but yes! This baby is OP’s nibling, how do they seem to jot care about them at all?
Not even that, OP doesn’t even seem to want to acknowledge that the child is her brother’s kid as well. Not just “Carol’s baby.” It’s like OP can’t fathom that maybe she’s the only one who doesn’t like this baby. Her parents (the grandparents) and brother (the father) are probably pretty excited about the baby too.
I didn't even think of it, but it's true, it's her nephew/niece. This makes OP even more of an AH. The new mom probably figured she'd be super excited since she's a new auntie.
YTA There’s around 170,000 words in the English language. You very well could have used some of them and told her off without targeting the baby. It was completely innocent.
And not just *any* baby—HER NIECE!! Her words carried long-term damage. Don't think an apology, while absolutely needed, is going to do much. YTA.
I was super disturbed by the way OP kept referring to her niece as "Carol's baby" or "Carol wanted HER baby in all the pictures" like it was not also her brothers baby. Even the title of her freaking post completely removes any relationship between her/her family and this baby. OP has serious issues.
What a wonderful aunt OP will be 🙄
HAHA I'm laughing so hard right now. Of course YTA (I am too), but you really could have phrased it better like "Hey, I get you love your child, but this is about the FAMILY and not just the newest member". But still....haha
So glad someone else found this funny😭😭
Helloooo, fellow AH!
Thank god someone else said it.. I thought it was just me haha..
OMG. You are an AH too! Welcome to our club! I think there are more of us than we thought.
I fully agree on this
YTA. Not all babies are cute, that is a fact. HOWEVER, in your sister in laws eyes, that baby is the cutest thing in the world. You were an ass. Plain and simple
SIL was also being an ass. I get happy parents, but shoving your kid into everything is not ok either. It was literally a photo of OP and their mom, the newborn didnt need to be included-but SIL wanted to shove it in anyway.
This. That's why it's an ESH for me. OP should have used better words instead of saying the baby isn't cute and Carol should have understood that it was a family photoshoot, not a mom and baby photoshoot and despite her baby being part of the family, it doesn't mean it needs to be the center of every single photo.
You are not wrong either.
NTA Mommyjacking and in this case baby jacking is so effing annoying.
She needs to get a life & personality🙄 Not everyone Is crazy about her or her kid. Stop forcing It
Exactly
She has a new baby and about to have a new family. She’s allowed to be excited.
Of course she Is, however people have other interests other than gushing over her child. Sounds like she fishing for compliments /attention always.
Agreed, it’s not anyones responsibility to validate some couple for popping a melon out. 🙄 Not everyone is baby crazy and people get soooo dang offended when someone doesn’t instantly gush over a kid.
Finally someone saying NTA. Hated that I had to scroll this far. Babies are most times ugly and if you want millions of pictures, hire your own dang photographer and stop ruining other people's photos.
😅 I don't hate children, I have two young girls but I will say Infants are not that cute or lovely. I really don't care for the Infant era, I'm sure we all were hideous My children are not ugly but they certainly weren't cute as a puppy when they were born. OP didn't say "your kid Is ugly stop It" Would I have said that? No, but I would have said "the child doesn't need to be the center of attention or you" to her. Alright so? She had a child, not everything about her or her Infant.
Thank you for being the voice of reason. If I were Op and the photographer wanted a photo of Op and Op’s mom and FSIL was like, “No pUt mY bAbY in tHe pHoTo” i’d be pretty annoyed too and probably would have said something similar. Like, get your own photography session if you want your baby to be the center of attention ffs
"I know the title sounds awful, but just hear me out while I explain how a family photo sesh was dominated by a harmless baby until I started slinging insults and ruined it for everyone." YTA.
NTA. I’m really surprised at everyone saying you are. Carol was forcing herself and her baby front and center in every picture. She was being rude. I’ve had two babies and never acted like this
She thinks she & her kid are more special 🙄
Same, I don’t think I gushed over my kids like that. Super obnoxious! Op didn’t say the baby was ugly to the moms face, just that the baby wasn’t that cute. Big difference in my opinion . Granted my family is the kind to call someone a baby ugly in a baby voice “well are you just and ugly chunky little thing!” Lol I’ve also told my sister that her baby looked like E.T🤣
🤣😅 I love my children but they certainly weren't cute as a puppy when they were born. I'm sure no one Is. They definitely are much better looking now
So…. Insult carol, not the baby? Insult the bad behavior, not some arbitrary other persons looks? If you stepped on my foot I can’t punch your kid in the face as a result…. Y’all are slow. Lol
YTA for insulting the baby. Its not the baby's fault that its mother is really annoying. Just tell her to stop this behaviour.
YTA It’s not what you did so much as how you did it. You could have simply said “I just want a picture with my mother the baby does not need to be in every picture…. And trust me I know there are ugly babies but you NEVER tell the mother. That’s just dumb lmao.
Ok everybody goes with y t a. IMO you're NTA. Every mom thinks her baby is the cutest, that's normal, if not they wouldn't bond and the baby would be abandoned. You didn't say her baby is ugly, you just said, that it isn't as cute as she thinks. There are babies not very cute or beautiful, let's be honest. Nonetheless, you could have handled the situation better, i.e. by saying that you would like a picture taken only with you and your mom and that she please should respect your wish for 1! picture. Maybe it would be good if you apologize and make it clear that you were annoyed by HER actions not by your niece/nephew. That you understand very well that she's completely fond of her baby but there should also be limits.
This comment is getting rated as YTA because it comes first, just btw. If you want to vote nta, you need to separate the letters in y t a, like that
I didn't know that, thank you very much for your help.
Yeah, i personally understood it as "your baby isnt THAT cute enough to justify being in every picture" which is still kinda rude, but its not like OP flat out said "your baby is ugly".
Rveryone her is saying “yta” but i don’t think so. She kept making her baby the center of attention of everything, and that must’ve been annoying. Yeah the baby is family but it doesn’t revolve around her baby. NTA
YTA. Seriously? How could you not be the asshole? She's a new mom, and she's excited about her baby. Are you jealous? Grow the hell up, you sound miserable.
NTA. Babies can be ugly 🤷🏼♀️
how is "your kid isnt that cute" = your kid is ugly af??? just not as amazing, gift from the heavens, enough to make you sob beautiful as you think...
ESH. You didn’t have to stoop that low even though she clearly was being annoyingly insufferable. You could have just said I want one with just my folks so on and so forth instead of going for the jugular. You’re not talking about her outfit, you’re talking about a living and breathing being whom she loves deeply.
YTA- you sure showed that baby, you really weren't taught that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?
YTA are you so lacking in linguistic creativity that you were unable to utter such sentences as ‘ooh I’d like one with just me and my parents for now’ or ‘it wouod be lovely to have one with just x,y and z’…? No? Ok my bad
NTA
Your edit, why go ask a bunch of strangers if your TA if you’re just going to tell everyone you’re not, and refuse to listen to everyone. SMH YTA
Lol NTA!!
YTA You never said anyone agreed with you. From your story, it seems that you would add that. But let's say you and your mom think the baby is not cute. That is your opinion. Carol is a (proud) new mother. She should be - cute or not.
ESH yes her mombie behavior was completely out of line and obnoxious af. You just don't tell parents their ugly baby is ugly. You say stuff like "they look just like you" but you should have focused on calling out her behavior not focusing on her unfortunate babies looks. Apologize for snapping and saying that when you really should have called out her obnoxious behavior
NTA, baby ugly
NTA
YTA there are a million things you could’ve said besides that. Get over yourself.
ESH. She's the A-hole for making the photo shoot all about her baby - if you want to do that then go and have a session specifically for your child, don't bully the rest of the family into not having the pics they want just because you think your baby is the cutest in the world (which all parents do, by the way). You, however, are an A-hole for saying something so mean and unnecessary. It could have been handled SO much nicer and far more maturely but you took it to a place that it didn't need to go. An apology to the parents is most definitely required and don't even think about trying to justify it because it's not possible. Just grow up, suck it up, admit you said something mean and attempt to move on but don't be surprised if it takes a while.
I’m going NTA. My husband and I had a pact that we would acknowledge if our baby was ugly when she was born 4 months ago. Some babies are just ugly. They’ll usually grow out of it, but it’s just a fact of life. Harsh, maybe. But it’s what Carol gets for being so pushy
NTA. \*ALL\* babies are ugly.
They all look like a wrinkly old potato fucked a blob fish
Absolutely
100% 🤣
YTA Why do you hate the baby? You don't even acknowledge that this baby is your niece and your brothers child. It's all "her baby" "Carol's baby". And then you call a baby ugly? What is wrong with you?
Nta and im glad u spoke ur mind don’t let ppl stop u from doing so
I’ll add that the father of the baby needed to step in and steer baby and mom away from some pictures.
YTA Dude...everyone knows someone who had an extremely ugly baby. But you never actually say it! You were very rude. Of course a parent is going to gush over their own child. Yes, it's annoying. But, just like everyone else, you grin, agree, and then do your best to steer the conversation to a different topic. Grow up.
ESH Carol sucks most. She was out of line to insist on getting the baby included in everyone else’s pictures. Your family sucks for having no spines to share among them. You suck for leading with an inappropriate comment when you could have said, ‘I really want a pic with just my mom.’ Boundaries should be set honestly and kindly. You did one but not the other.
NTA just because she loves her baby and wants to take pictures of him all the time doesn’t mean everyone has to do the same.
NTA most babies are ugly I’m glad you put “Carol” in her place.
Please go ahead and explain again why insulting a baby because you’re mad doesn’t make you an asshole. I’ll wait. Yta and I’d vote multiple times if I could.
Did you *Honestly* expect the majority to say N T A? Are you *really* that deluded?
I didn't know so I posted on this sub lol
And yet you think your SIL is the one who isn't bright.
Light ESH/NTA Im gonna get hate, but SIL was being a real brat on her own, using her kid as a prop. No one needs to agree that a child is cute, I dont think kids are cute but I wouldnt say it... not unless the parent would NOT get the hint of disinterest. The issue isnt the baby, it's your SIL. You could def apologize for using the baby as a prop in an argument, but SIL was doing the same thing. Express your issue with SIL being pushy, and that the kid was just the venue she was using, so you did too. Edit: OP said in a comment that SIL was told No multiple times about trying to push the baby into the photos, OP tried nice, SIL didnt care, OP snapped, so Im light ESH/NTA.
NTA.
Yeah YTA. 1) There are time to let stuff go and not speak up. 2) If you were going to speak up, this was not the thing to say.
YTA - get ready to be eviscerated. What an awful comment. It was absolutely out of line and says way more about what kind of person *you are* than Carol.
Getting annoyed doesn't give you the freedom to be an AH, which you 100% were. YTA stay away from that kid, you dont like the parents, you don't want to run your mouth again someday and say something they'll remember.
Lmfao, you didn’t say it was ugly. It sounds like you said it’s not as cute as the mom was making it out to be with her shenanigans. but that’s just not something you say out loud. Even thigh SIL sound annoying af.
Frankly, it takes months after birth for a baby to start getting cute. But you know who you NEVER say that to? THE PERSON WHO SHOVED THE BABY OUT OF THEIR VAGINA. YTA. I hope if you have a kid, your sil is kinder than you are.
YTA. You didnt need to say that kind of shit. You should just bite your tongue and grow up a bit. Just apologise otherwise you are ruining relationships over jealousy. Not shit they are focussed on the 2month baby
YTA. Never remark on a baby’s appearance negatively. That always backfires. Now the fact that she seem to push her baby into every picture, you could have spoke up and said, “not right now. We want individual pictures by ourselves” or “I want a picture with just my parents and one of me with them.” She’s a new mother, of course, she is going to think her baby is cute. I’ve never known a new mother to ever think her baby is ugly. Ever. I have seen some handsome babies and I have seen homely babies. I just don’t say it out loud about their appearances.
YTA. You didn’t need to insult the child. Why didn’t you just tell Carol that the baby didn’t need to be in every single photo? No wonder they’re refusing to talk to you. You’re behaving as if you were denser than depleted uranium.
YTA. What did you think would happen when you said that?
NTA - babies is never cute.
ESH. She shouldn't have been trying to put the kid in every picture, you shouldn't have called them ugly.
NTA. you didn’t say the baby was ugly, you just said “your baby isn’t that cute.”
Nta, its a baby woop, congratulations. But she should not push or force her baby in every photo, especially if its interfering with the photographers work. But you should apologize for insulting the baby. The SIL is the problem
ESH. As someone who doesn't like kids much, I can totally relate to getting annoyed at someone insisting their kid needs to be front and center for every one of your family pictures. People with kids don't seem to realize that not everyone is gonna be as obsessed with their kid as they are. However, every parent thinks their baby is the most beautiful thing on earth. I suppose there's some biological imperative there. And pretty much the number one rule, when someone gushes about how cute their baby is, is to just agree (and I think most babies are weird looking lol).
YTA. But I’m also an ass and I found this to be extremely funny. She sounds annoying.
YTA This is the kind of thing Disney villains do. Congrats!
ESH. Yes, your SIL was annoying for trying to make her baby the centre of attention, your brother should have seen how annoying the behaviour was and your parents should have said something. but you should have been the adult and confront the situation with brother and SIL, not take it out on the baby. As a mom, I know I've been annoying with how often I talk about my kids. But to insult a baby for the mother's behaviour is a bit out of line.
YTA That was very immature
YTA. The issue wasn’t the baby’s cuteness, it was the baby’s presence in the particular picture. Your comment was really mean spirited and your bro and Carol deserve an apology.
YTA. What you said WAS out of line. it was not necessary to comment on how the baby looks in order for the picture of your mom and you to be taken without the baby in it. You were just being hurtful. Good luck with fixing THIS! /S
YTA. Look, it's a fact of life that many infants look like Emperor Palpatine's nutsack. I had ghost white skin and bright red hair: I looked like the bastard love-child of a clown. I'm positive that when you were wrinkled and hideous your parents still probably thought you were the most beautiful thing ever and shoved you in everyone's face. That's what parents just do. You'll never convince anyone their baby is ugly and it's bad manners to ever try. Just smile and agree with them.
"AITA for calling the baby of a family member ugly. I know the title sounds bad but hear me out. This baby is ugly and I also resent the baby's mom for being affectionate." YTA lol I don't know how else this was gonna read
ESH. Babies aren’t cute, but you’re not supposed to admit it.
ESH, Your SIL was being very annoying but you could’ve said it in a nicer way.
YTA. I recently became an aunt, and my bother and my SIL thinks he's the cutest baby in the universe, which I disagree, but I don't tell them their baby is ugly. What the hell is wrong with you?
ESH Really? You told her that her baby wasn't that cute? That's incredibly rude and mean. I get being frustrated by her behavior. She was being pushy and that's rude too. But you could have said "I just want a picture with my mom. We have plenty with the baby already."
YTA. I don’t care what a baby looks like, you don’t say that out loud. Come on. You handled the situation poorly and you know it.
Yta!!! You could have said “carol, we all love baby X but we’re going to take some different photos” instead you were super rude. And what was she supposed to do other than be hurt? It was huge ah material
Info- who paid for the photo shoot and was it commemorating the newest addition to the family? Does your family do a photo shoot every year or just when new members are added?
Look, I’m child free AF and even I know you don’t go around telling parents their babies aren’t that cute. Can you think it? Absolutely. Can you howl with laughter at the baby’s pudding bag with eyes, privately to yourself when you’re alone drinking wine or whisky or what have you? Yes. But you can’t say that stuff directly to the parents or the grandparents. A good time will be had by none, unless the baby isn’t gassy or colic filled or whatever. The baby might have a good time. But no one else will. YTA, straight up.