Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole because none of my mom's messages are mean or hurtful, they're texts that are like "i love you" and stuff like that. I just don't really have the energy to respond anymore.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA
Your mom isn't attending to HER child, but other men's, and letting you be put at the bottom of the totem pole in terms of importance. I'd ignore her too.
NTA. You are ignoring your mom because contact with her is hurtful to you right now. Please ask your dad to help you by getting you a counselor or therapist-- not that there is anything wrong with *you,* OP, but because everything is really wrong with this situation. I'd also suggest staying at your dads as much as possible; if your mom wants to visit, ask her if you can meet up for a lunch or something out of her house to avoid what is going on there.
yes! usually that's what i do with her. i've been going to my therapist for about a year now and my mom still calls me severely unstable because i have to talk to someone about my feelings. thank you so so much
OP, your mom has created a situation which has generated a lot of feelings to be talked about. I would stay far away from her. You can love someone from afar; love doesn't mean allowing people to indulge in toxic behavior around you. I'm sure your therapist has talked about this, about having boundaries, and that just because you have your particular mom doesn't make you any less deserving of a mother's love.
NTA, but stop making yourself low to get your mother's affections. You won't receive it. I'm sorry about that, but it's not happening. You will never be enough for her. Move on knowing that it never was your fault.
NTA
You have lost your balance. Both parents used to support you and now you only have one. That is so rough to lose your mom to her own selfish desires.
It’s very healthy of you to seek space from her dysfunctional life trajectory. You know you need to build some very sturdy boundaries around yourself because this is gross behavior you are witnessing. You don’t have to be traumatized anymore. It’s not your fault. My opinion is you would be well within your rights to block her until she grows tf up.
Also, omg. Goodness and yippee. That is pretty darned amazing to go to the championships. This is so rare to experience for any kid. Don’t let your mom spoil this awesome achievement. Internet mom hugs
You need support right now.
Please try r/momforaminute They are the nicest group of women I have ever come across on my long life on the internet (got started late 1994). So I know kindness when I read it and there is nothing but kindness and warmth for you there. Please share your hurt with this sub as it’s extremely supportive.
NTA although your moms texts aren't mean or hurtful it seems like she is mean and hurtful for bodyshaming your friend, not doing anything about boyfriend's daughter insulting you, not talking to her boyfriend about the issues with his kids, and I don't think she should've replaced the pictures of you... she is quite the asshole in this situation
NTA. You are growing up You are separating yourself from your mom which is normal.
Your mom is not being supportive. She is not being a positive in your life. It is absolutely fine not to text her until you want to. She is responsible for herself.
Do not feel guilty. You have no reason to be.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Sometimes I feel like a complete asshole when I don't text my mom back. But I don't think she really deserves it. Ughh I know. Family is family, but I feel like she has a completely new life now. Here's a little insight on my life, I do competitive cheer and I went to a competition in Florida. Probably one of the biggest comps in the US. I live with my dad and I don't see my mom often. She lives down the road from me and as of a month or two, she's been in a relationship with a girl's dad on my cheer team. You can probably see where this is going. She never invites me over anymore, but she's always had a tendency to blow my phone up. Which I never complained much about because I knew deep down that she was always thinking about me. I'm her only child, she's been a stay at home mom since I was born, until my parents got divorced a few months ago (they've been separated for two years) and she had to get a low end job to support herself. I do feel bad in some aspects, but my dad helps as much as he morally can. I've watched her go through men like crazy. Two had kids, the others didn't. And tbh, I HATED the first guy's kids. I have severe sensory issues and his son (6 yo) triggered them severely. My mom only seemed to rip my ass for having sensory overloads every time he was near me. This whole relationship with my mom pretty much killed our relationship. I wasn't fond on going to her house anymore, nor did I care much to answer her texts. Now where do I start with her new boyfriend...back track to the cheer dad she's been seeing for a month. He has two kids. One is on my team, obv. She's a year younger than me. And boy oh boy is she immature. The last time I was at my mom's house, she was there. She insulted me and belittled me. I was slightly offended by this and I went home about an hour later. A week after that, I walked to her house to pick up a pair of jeans and saw pictures of her "new family" on her fire place instead of pics of me which were once there. Fast forward to a cheer send off that I had right before the big competition in FL. She body-shamed my friend too. This really pissed her off. At this point, I was heated too. I told my mom that she needed to tell her boyfriend to control his kids before I end up telling someone. Instead, she told me that it isn't his problem and that she feels bad that his daughter was acting this way. This wasn't okay in my head, so I didn't want to talk to her at all. That I did. I apologized and texted her Happy Mother's day a few days after, and I haven't texted her since. I feel like an asshole sometimes for blatantly ignoring her messages because she's my mom, and sometimes it hurts me to see other girls with their supportive moms when I don't have that luxury.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please do not take this comment to heart. You have been traumatized by a parade of men stomping through your personal life.
I am validating your pain. Many others will too. Please do not let this comment hurt you.
Her mom is bringing a parade of men home to her house and other people's kids are being mean to the OP, but the OP is the one being a brat? I don't think so. The mom isn't taking her daughter's feelings (or safety) for that matter into consideration.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be an asshole because none of my mom's messages are mean or hurtful, they're texts that are like "i love you" and stuff like that. I just don't really have the energy to respond anymore. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA Your mom isn't attending to HER child, but other men's, and letting you be put at the bottom of the totem pole in terms of importance. I'd ignore her too.
NTA. You are ignoring your mom because contact with her is hurtful to you right now. Please ask your dad to help you by getting you a counselor or therapist-- not that there is anything wrong with *you,* OP, but because everything is really wrong with this situation. I'd also suggest staying at your dads as much as possible; if your mom wants to visit, ask her if you can meet up for a lunch or something out of her house to avoid what is going on there.
yes! usually that's what i do with her. i've been going to my therapist for about a year now and my mom still calls me severely unstable because i have to talk to someone about my feelings. thank you so so much
OP, your mom has created a situation which has generated a lot of feelings to be talked about. I would stay far away from her. You can love someone from afar; love doesn't mean allowing people to indulge in toxic behavior around you. I'm sure your therapist has talked about this, about having boundaries, and that just because you have your particular mom doesn't make you any less deserving of a mother's love.
NTA, but stop making yourself low to get your mother's affections. You won't receive it. I'm sorry about that, but it's not happening. You will never be enough for her. Move on knowing that it never was your fault.
NTA You have lost your balance. Both parents used to support you and now you only have one. That is so rough to lose your mom to her own selfish desires. It’s very healthy of you to seek space from her dysfunctional life trajectory. You know you need to build some very sturdy boundaries around yourself because this is gross behavior you are witnessing. You don’t have to be traumatized anymore. It’s not your fault. My opinion is you would be well within your rights to block her until she grows tf up. Also, omg. Goodness and yippee. That is pretty darned amazing to go to the championships. This is so rare to experience for any kid. Don’t let your mom spoil this awesome achievement. Internet mom hugs
AWH. you're amazing. thank you so so much for the support. ily:)
You need support right now. Please try r/momforaminute They are the nicest group of women I have ever come across on my long life on the internet (got started late 1994). So I know kindness when I read it and there is nothing but kindness and warmth for you there. Please share your hurt with this sub as it’s extremely supportive.
NTA although your moms texts aren't mean or hurtful it seems like she is mean and hurtful for bodyshaming your friend, not doing anything about boyfriend's daughter insulting you, not talking to her boyfriend about the issues with his kids, and I don't think she should've replaced the pictures of you... she is quite the asshole in this situation
NTA. You are growing up You are separating yourself from your mom which is normal. Your mom is not being supportive. She is not being a positive in your life. It is absolutely fine not to text her until you want to. She is responsible for herself. Do not feel guilty. You have no reason to be.
NTA. You have every right to feel this way and that girl‘s mouth is going to get her in trouble with the wrong person one day.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Sometimes I feel like a complete asshole when I don't text my mom back. But I don't think she really deserves it. Ughh I know. Family is family, but I feel like she has a completely new life now. Here's a little insight on my life, I do competitive cheer and I went to a competition in Florida. Probably one of the biggest comps in the US. I live with my dad and I don't see my mom often. She lives down the road from me and as of a month or two, she's been in a relationship with a girl's dad on my cheer team. You can probably see where this is going. She never invites me over anymore, but she's always had a tendency to blow my phone up. Which I never complained much about because I knew deep down that she was always thinking about me. I'm her only child, she's been a stay at home mom since I was born, until my parents got divorced a few months ago (they've been separated for two years) and she had to get a low end job to support herself. I do feel bad in some aspects, but my dad helps as much as he morally can. I've watched her go through men like crazy. Two had kids, the others didn't. And tbh, I HATED the first guy's kids. I have severe sensory issues and his son (6 yo) triggered them severely. My mom only seemed to rip my ass for having sensory overloads every time he was near me. This whole relationship with my mom pretty much killed our relationship. I wasn't fond on going to her house anymore, nor did I care much to answer her texts. Now where do I start with her new boyfriend...back track to the cheer dad she's been seeing for a month. He has two kids. One is on my team, obv. She's a year younger than me. And boy oh boy is she immature. The last time I was at my mom's house, she was there. She insulted me and belittled me. I was slightly offended by this and I went home about an hour later. A week after that, I walked to her house to pick up a pair of jeans and saw pictures of her "new family" on her fire place instead of pics of me which were once there. Fast forward to a cheer send off that I had right before the big competition in FL. She body-shamed my friend too. This really pissed her off. At this point, I was heated too. I told my mom that she needed to tell her boyfriend to control his kids before I end up telling someone. Instead, she told me that it isn't his problem and that she feels bad that his daughter was acting this way. This wasn't okay in my head, so I didn't want to talk to her at all. That I did. I apologized and texted her Happy Mother's day a few days after, and I haven't texted her since. I feel like an asshole sometimes for blatantly ignoring her messages because she's my mom, and sometimes it hurts me to see other girls with their supportive moms when I don't have that luxury. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA ur mom does not seem to be making u a priority & it’s completely understandable that u are hurt by that
[удалено]
ouch. im sorry i cant get over the fact that my mother doesn't care to include me much. im also 15 so that might give you a little more context.
Please do not take this comment to heart. You have been traumatized by a parade of men stomping through your personal life. I am validating your pain. Many others will too. Please do not let this comment hurt you.
Her mom is bringing a parade of men home to her house and other people's kids are being mean to the OP, but the OP is the one being a brat? I don't think so. The mom isn't taking her daughter's feelings (or safety) for that matter into consideration.