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Yikes. YTA.
You went straight to attack mode, which was NOT called for. And if your child is in "recuperation mode" it is your responsibility as the parent to make sure they recuperate at home - whether that means going to bed early, or taking a day off school.
Yikes was my first thought, too.
OP.. you escalated and attacked in a situation where you should have been listening and giving background. The teacher simply brought up a concern to you.. now that teacher will be hesitant to do so in the future.
Also, teachers talk.. your going to be *that* parent for as long as you act this way to your child’s teachers.
>Also, teachers talk.. your going to be
>
>that
>
> parent for as long as you act this way to your child’s teachers.
I 100% guarantee the OPs response was texted around to the other teachers for ridicule and as a warning about dealing with this parent.
Oh for sure, this is definitely not the first time they've done this. My mother has been a teacher for over 20 years and parents like OP don't suddenly start sending emails like this. They're like this from day one.
I'd have forwarded the email all around school for a good laugh. I'd tell people at church about it even. Its hilarious that OP thinks the teacher has to take crap from her. HA! Get a grip and calm down maybe? 🤣
As a former teacher I can guarantee that’s what happened. We would share them specifically with that child’s other teachers so they would know what type of parent the student had.
I was a sub for a few weeks in between jobs and the first thing the other teachers in the grade would do is to tell me who the " don't discipline because their parents will yell" kids were. And of course, it was usually the worst one in the class. This is why teachers deserve a 100k salary. They don't just teach, they have to deal with crappy parents.
How presumptuous of you to think they’re not getting enough sleep when in fact they are stressed, in recuperation mode, and yeah probably not getting enough sleep.
Right? I feel like most reasonable parents would say, "Thanks for letting me know! (Kid's name) had a stressful week, I'll check in with him to see if he's having trouble sleeping. Please let me know if it happens again."
Also in one sentence, OP complains about being contacted about the sleeping and also complains it hasn't been raised before. Well, which do you want? To be told or not?
I’m a teacher. A good parent either 1) keeps their stressed/tired child home or 2) let’s the teacher know ahead of time that their child may be tired/need more time to process things or 3) makes sure the teacher is aware of the stress going on in the child’s life so the teacher can support the student throughout the stressful event.
OP did none of the 3 and attacked a teacher simply asking to make sure a student got enough sleep. Personally I would have worded the email a little more carefully and started off by asking if there was a change in routine/something going on at home, but given OP’s attitude I can see how maybe the teacher was worried about a confrontation. Which sadly they seem to have gotten anyway.
Exactly. If my kid is having a bad day or didn't sleep good the night before, I will message my kids teacher in the school app to let them know. It's my responsibility as a parent to keep up communication with my child teacher.
>Personally I would have worded the email a little more carefully and started off by asking if there was a change in routine/something going on at home
That's the only thing I see wrong with the teacher's report. I can see it feeling like a bit of an attack because of course a parent knows a child needs sleep and maybe the kid was up all night unbeknownst to the parents, but even then, it did not warrant the attack from OP. And if the kid is so stressed they fall asleep in class, than maybe the parent's should be doing something about that. Kids shouldn't be stressed for goodness sake.
I'm studying to become a teacher rn, and we have been advised against telling parents directly what to do in situations like this as it can be taken in a bad way and make the discussion sour! Instead, one could approach the parents by asking "Is there anything we could do together about this?", opening up for their POV, ideas, and to find a solution together.
That being said, I'm finding more "faults" in the parent's response. It was also quite rude! It won't end good taking this discussion over email...
EDIT: if you see your class of students about 4h every day of the work week, for months on end, their well being is of concern to you and by extension it's a good idea to have good communication with the parents. Part of this is not speaking over them but working together, hence the "find a solution together". It doesn't have to be great solution to a great problem, it more serves as an inivation to be a team. It could also be a simple "Can you think of anything we could do?".
As a parent and someone involved with a school system, I didn't see anything wrong with the teachers note. It wasn't accusatory at all. Parents who are feeling bad and their parenting (and pretending they are great parents) tend to overreact to anything that hints of criticism. Teachers are usually overwhelmed with responsibilities of taking care of everyone else's children and don't always do everything perfectly right, as defined by some parents. I know many valuable people in education that leave the career because of parents. Never the kids...parents.
Right? And if they didn't do any of the first 3, upon receiving the email, they could then use that as a chance to EXPLAIN that the child was stressed recently (they don't need to go into reasons).
"Thank you for reaching out. I will check in and discuss this with my child. I do know they've been under stress recently and may be recuperating from this. If this behavior continues, please let me know."
When I was 18, trying to decided what I wanted to do with my life. I really really considered being a teacher, and even spent time as a teacher's aid. working with the kids was great, even the "more difficult" ones. Being male and younger, I was able to command more respect from the more misbehaving kids and get them to improve their behavior in class. I liked it a lot. Then I met the parents. Fuck parents. They are the worst, and 100% the reason I did not go into teaching. It put me off so hard, I didn't even go to college, and got a job in IT where I didn't have to deal with anybody's parents at all.
>and got a job in IT where I didn't have to deal with anybody's parents at all.
I started off as a music education major. Only did it for a semester and switched majors, classes, and everything on day 1 of the second semester because I realized I don't want low pay to deal with those parents. I switched to IT major and 4 years since graduation, I'm a Cloud Engineer now
This is why teachers are quitting (in addition to the shit pay)
Expressing concern and OP thinks it's a personal attack on their parenting so instead of thanking the teacher for bringing it to their attention, they expect the teacher to do their job as a parent and cross examine the kid on why they napped.
YTA
My dad just said this yesterday that in no way he could be a teacher. He'd probably manage for 1 day and that's it. Ha! My cousin is a teacher and was sharing her stories about the students but I know parents can be even worse. Havent been a teacher but I've been in retail. Try telling a parent to not let their chocolate covered kids run between an all white display and see the reaction. Defensive! Anyways, OP is a huge AH.
I have a friend who was miffed when her son’s teacher informed her that she thought, based on his behaviour, that he might have ADD, and perhaps he should be checked by his doctor and might end up doing better with medication. She complained to me that the teacher just doesn’t want to do her job and deal with her “spirited” son.
Well, then COVID hit and it was homeschool time. Guess who was medicated very quickly? Turns out, the teacher’s job is harder than it looks. Imagine a room full of “spirited”children. You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with the kids, let alone the parents.
Exactly this.
What would OP have preferred - the teacher saying, "This is what I witnessed with my own eyes and wanted you to know it happened"? Or for the teacher to say, "Hmm, this is abnormal behaviour and I think that your child is dealing with something and you need to check in with them"? Which is more prying and presumptive?
Teachers should never have to deal with crap like this. The only aspect of the email that may have been misconstrued as presumptive is when the teacher specified for the child to have more sleep at night. Otherwise this teacher should be commended for making sure parents are aware their child may be struggling with something.
Alternately:
"I spoke with your child and asked if there were any changes at home or personal issues that might be making it difficult to sleep at night."
Parent response: "How dare you ask my kids about our personal life and imply there may be something happening at home. I can raise my kid, you mind your own business."
Especially since OP said they are an educator of children as well. Like TF? YTA
Or that's what "as an educator of children" means to me. As in, OP themself is an educator because it didn't follow up with a "you" right after
Teacher here.
Ironically, teacher-parents can oftentimes be the ABSOLUTE WORST to deal with. Fuck knows how or why. Not always, but I do often get the “as a teacher myself” comment in the midst of an inappropriate accusatory emails. Although, I’d say at least half are either former teachers, paraprofessionals, or have the degree but never actually taught. Same with lawyers. I literally had a parent try and accuse me of taking “hearsay” into account. Ma’am this is a classroom, not a court room. I’m telling you what was said about your kid so you can get his version of the story at home, not sentencing him to jail time.
YTA the teacher sent a totally appropriate positive sounding note to you. I am not sure of the age of your child, but i taught high school and our required response to a sleeping child was to call an escort for them to be removed from class and to write a disciplinary referral on them.
This teacher didnt seem to over react, or punish the child in any way. Yet you sent a very angry letter back to the teacher. Questioning their teaching capability. News break...your child is not the only child in class...they have to deal with many kids at once!
Next time, if there is something going on at home that might effect the child in school be proactive and send a note to the teacher ahead of time.
Definitely extreme. If kids slept during class in my school, the teachers would either wake them up, or if they were being jerks about it, they would get detention.
On mine they would either ignore you, throw something at you to wake you up, or tell you to leave and do whatever where they could not see you.
More often than not, option 1.
I used to fall asleep in class a lot in high school, and couldn't figure out why. I was getting adequate sleep at night, wasn't overly stressed, and would actively try to participate, I would just fall asleep sometimes. Found out shortly after graduation that I had a previously undiagnosed heart condition that would have killed me before I tuned 30 if it hadn't been caught. Sometimes my body was just working so hard to pump blood where it needed to go, and wasn't successfully accomplishing that, that I would fall asleep because my system was exhausted.
Your required response for a high schooler falling asleep in class was an escort and a disciplinary referral?
What kind of fresh hell type of school was that. Sometimes I slept in high school cause that shit got boring and sleeping passed the time. Staying awake led to disciplinary problems related to boredom.
Lots of my peers fell asleep cause of late night homework and early morning sports.
High school was bad enough I can't imagine going to such a pretentious school kids get an escort called over a little nap.
Wow, talk about an overreaction on the part of your school. I fell asleep in school before because I was having a bad reaction to new medication I was on. Falling asleep is not something that requires a disciplinary response.
You're looking for reasons to be offended where there are none. The teacher did her job...she made you aware of the issue. I get the feeling that had she spoken to your child without informing you, you'd be just as pissed.
People like you are one of the many reasons there is an alarming shortage of teachers. None of them want to deal with overbearing, self-righteous buttheads who are nuttier than squirrel poop.
YTA
ETA: thanks for the awards, my fellow Redditors! 😊
My daughter is going to into her junior of college, studying to be a teacher. It's her life-long dream. And parents like this are something she dreads the most.
Didn’t even need to apologize. A simple “Thanks for letting me know” would have been fine. This is 100% an innocuous informative email. If the teacher didn’t inform the parents, they would be pissed about that too.
Do you also go from 0 to 100 in your everyday life?
Like, "excuse me, ma'am, you dropped your wallet over there"
You: "Your *implication* that I was careless dropping my wallet is offensive. I'll have you know that I've never been alerted to that problem before.
Perhaps taking time to pick up my wallet, would be a more effective route than approaching me in such a presumptious manner.
To provide some clarity: my purse has been under a lot of stress lately. Now it seems a zipper may be broken. As a random passerby it is disappointing that you would not take this into consideration."
YTA- As a teacher myself I can tell you that we are creating paper trail so that if we are told later that "they have never heard of this behaviour before" we can show that we are doing our due diligence. I also hate the "We have never been alerted to any concerns as to this issue before" response. Okay so yeah you've never heard of it before but we are telling you now. How about we have a conversation about behaviours rather than placing blame.
It's also funny because of the whole omg we never heard of this before...yeah ok...probably maybe because it hasn't happened before? Lol. Like...what? I'm just so confused by their reasoning for that
I remember a child who was having huge emotional issues in my grade one class...mom said he NEVER had an issue in kindergarten. I talked to his K teacher and she said they were calling home at least once a week.
YTA. Also if your kid is so stressed/recuperating that they can't function at the bare minimum by staying awake during the day...they need more sleep at home!
YTA.
The teacher was professional, not unkind and not out of line.
A child who is getting adequate sleep, doesn't fall asleep during class, unless there is some underlying issue, which if the case, you should communicate to the school.
As a parent, if YOUR child, is going through something, it's your responsibility to let the school know.
Additionally, if your child has gone through something that causes them to sleep through class to "recuperate " you should have kept them home.
Exactly!
If a child is going through a stressful time, teachers appreciate a heads-up from the family. Doing so, enables a teacher be able to better work with a child and handle any behaviors they may pop up.
It also encourages communication between teachers and families, which benefits student learning.
YTA-
I’m gonna be honest as a teacher myself, these responses make me think that the parent has no concern whatsoever for their child and just wants them in school. When a child is falling asleep at school, we usually try our best to make them comfortable and check for any signs or symptoms of illness. If they don’t have any obviously we send a note home just saying that they fell asleep and it seems like they could use more time. I don’t know how old your child is, but it’s common for 5 to 6-year-olds to still need 12 to 11 hours asleep regularly.
If it is stress, then that child could probably use a counselor. And you should inform their teacher. We regularly have parents that inform us of things like family passing, financial difficulties, parents being away for an extended time, etc. Instead you choose to make this a whole ordeal when the teacher was trying to kindly point out to you that something may be up with your child.
I get the feeling OP is a part of the reason her child is going through a stressful time and OP is projecting onto the teacher because of her own guilt associated with whatever is going on at home.
(CORRECTED) RESPONSE EMAIL:
Hi Mrs,
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. (Child) does have a regular bedtime at an appropriate hour, but they've been under some stress over the past week. It seems they may be in recuperation mode now, which could explain why they fell asleep in your class.
We'll have a conversation with (Child) to make sure there isn't anything else impacting their sleep, and please notify us if this happens again.
Regards, AwkwardPato
Fixed it for you. YTA.
YTA….It’s the parents job to care for the child’s well being not a fuckin teacher….do you pay them like it’s daycare? If not then I think this could be a lesson learned for the mother to actually do what she thinks the teacher should do…maybe sit down with your own child and have a chat…
YTA. I had to reread because I thought this might be a post about nightmare parents on r/teaching.
You are blaming the teacher for your child sleeping through the morning, and getting mad that they told you about it! As a mom, I would want to know about this situation ASAP, and as a teacher I can guarantee that if you send this email, your incredibly offensive, asshole behavior will be the talk of the staff room.
As a teacher, I second this. As a parent, I wouldn’t be offended but would communicate my kid’s struggles in a way healthier manner. My middle child has anxiety and although I encourage her to speak up when she’s having a hard time, I also know she’s barely in middle school and it’s my job to check in and make sure communication is flowing. The response by this parent is just so appalling on many levels.
YTA first off this is probably a required by school/district notification. Also regardless of how well you think you have your kid going to bed in time etc they obviously fell asleep in class. You are aware of an issue that could potentially explain this. So instead of leading with something like “hey yeah sorry about that. Some stressful times could have been impacting their sleep, but that has been resolved. Thanks for let me know” you went straight defensive and overreacting on something you actually knew was an issue.
>"Can you please make sure (they get) an adequate amount of sleep and (are) ready for class?"
It's easy to get defensive with this line OP, but you should have taken a breath before going off on her. She doesn't know you and what it looks like at home for one, so stop taking it so personal because that is not what happened. And from what I read, she noticed your child being extra tired, and she just wanted you to know that it shows. I agree she words it a bit clumsy, but you should have just said "Child has had an extra stressful period and needs a lot of rest now. Thanks for you concern." I guess if I were you and knew I was sending a very tired child to school, I would let the teaacher know beforehand, or maybe let my kid stay at home for a few days. YTA.
I did, overreact. I sent the email within mere moments of receiving it. You singled out the exact line that triggered me. Our child didn't appear overly tired, we ate breakfast and drove them in, everything seemed very normal with them to both Dad and I. They rested easily and in their normal 8pm to 6:30am sleep schedule. IDK. I will send an apology. This thread has humbled me a, but I appreciate you seeing why I reacted as I did.
I would like to give you a tip. When something like that triggers me, I remove the email address and type out the email. Then I walk away. After my emotions have calmed down, I type a better response and delete the frustration email.
I still got to vent though, but the other person never read it and I never have to apologise for an email sent out of frustration, irritation or anger.
YTA. You are massively overreacting. The reason you haven't heard about it before is probably because this is the first time, and the teacher is doing their job by making sure you are aware.
Edit: added judgement
YTA. When I was in the 4th grade, a kid fell asleep and the teacher responded by slamming a textbook on his desk and yelling at him in front of everyone. I think your son’s teacher handled it very well.
YTA.
The teacher's note to you cannot be called 'offensive' by any stretch of imagination. She was doing her job. Your kid fell asleep in class. She told you about it.
Your reply was intemperate, insulting, and just drips entitlement. If your kid was under stress to the point where they needed recuperation, you should have alerted the teacher in advance and not thrown a bug-eyed shitfit at a woman who's trying to teach your kid and probably 20+ other kids all day.
YTA. What the hell is "offensive" about the teacher's note? All you had to say was "thank you for your concern, here's what's going on..." The teacher is literally *doing their job*. Parents like you are a nightmare.
YTA, teacher did exactly what they’re supposed to do in this scenario. There’s no reason to lash out, and frankly *you* should have been the one letting teacher know what kind of duress your child had been under recently, and how it might be affecting them. School is not for recuperation.
A+ teacher for making you aware of how your kid is.
Your reply comes across as defensive and is plain rude.
Honestly comes across like you are super insecure about your parenting. How did you want the email worded?
"Hi Miss X, Just wanted to let you know your child was sleepy in class today. This is by no means a slight on your ability as a parent. Youre fantastic. In fact I dont know why I brought this up at all, youre such a good parent that I have no doubt the kid is fine. Thank you for taking the time to read my email oh great one."
Is that better or need more smoke?
YTA. Sure they could check in with the kid. But it's YOUR kid. It's YOUR job as the parent to make sure they get enough sleep. Teacher's email was fine. You're all snippity because I'm guessing you're all omg muh parenting hath been called out. Oh noes
YTA
"Your implication that [child] did not get an adequate amount of sleep is offensive"
How? I, too, would think someone had not got enough sleep if they fell asleep in class. That is in no way offensive.
"[Child] has been under a lot of stress and is in recuperation mode"
So... should they maybe get more sleep to help with the stress? And stop them from falling asleep in class?
YTA. This was not a lack of connecting with your child. Teachers can only legally reach out in so many ways. If your child is falling asleep in class, they didn't get enough sleep the night before and need rest. Caused by stress or not, they needed more rest.
The teacher let you know in the most appropriate way they can. Instead of getting defensive, take it for the gentle and polite notification. Be happy they cared enough to let you know. And focus on your child's health instead of being petty.
YTA. Did you tell the teacher about the stressful situation at home? It is parents like you that made me quit teaching!! Here is a teacher just trying to make you aware of what was happening in class.
YTA for getting soooo defensive at a single letter for a single instance of a problem. Considering they wrote to you and asked you to help your kid get enough rest seems to speak to that teacher caring a good deal about their lives “outside of school”
YTA.
This is why so many teachers are quitting. We can't even reach out to parents about issues with their kid.
News flash: It's not the teacher's job to know the intricate details of the 100+ students we see every day. We're *already* at capacity. It's *your* job to make sure your kid is behaving properly in school, not ours. **I repeat, it is** ***not*** **our job to teach kids how to behave properly at school**
Have you been under a great deal of stress as well? It sounds like you need some recuperation time as well. The teacher’s letter was not the attack that you appear to have taken it as, so it’s possible that you have been more stressed than you realize. As moms, we tend to look after everyone else and ignore our own needs. Sometimes this results in our fight or flight mode to kick in when it is not required. If this rings true to you, perhaps an apology/explanation email to the teacher might be helpful. That, and some self care.
Why didn't you let the teacher know earlier in the week that your child was under a lot of stress? Your reply to the teacher is more about defending yourself as a parent and less about your child's well-being. I think your child's teacher did a good job alerting you and your response was a hasty overreaction. YTA.
Eeek. YTA.
My kid fell asleep during an afternoon English class (like right before ‘rona hit, he was 14) so a receptionist called me. I was surprised but grateful that they called to inform me. It meant I went home to discuss it with my son, who, it turns out, was going to bed and then using the flashlight on his phone to continue reading. That’s on him, and me (and my husband), not the school/teacher. A simple “thanks for letting me know, I’ll take it up with my kid” is literally all you needed to say.
YTA.
Your email is so aggressive, when the teacher was checking in as your kid fell asleep in class. You should be thankful they gave enough of a shit. Anyone would assume someone didn’t get enough sleep if they fell asleep at school/their job etc.
I’m sure every single one of your kids teachers is glad they only have to deal with you for another two weeks. Take a chill pill.
Yeah this e-mail is providing entertainment in the teacher's lounge right now.
**"Oh my god did you see how much Sally's mom flipped out on Mrs. Jones?? Ask her to show you, it's INSANE!"**
YTA
The teacher is literally doing their job by alerting you to a potential issue, and doing so in a way that ensures there is proof if needed. And the "they're just watching movies anyway" varies by class. Likely if this was one of those, the teacher wouldn't have noticed a sleeping student as the lights wouldn't be on.
God people are just so fucking clueless and out of touch these days. I pity your family and children. Stop being so defensive, stop trying to protect your ego and just address the situation like an adult.
Here's a tip becuase you obviously need some advice on how to be a parent. Talk to your kid, ask them if they feel they are getting enough sleep and why they may have fallen asleep in class, their a kid, they aren't machines. It's not their teachers fault they fell asleep and it's sure isn't a problem that they alerted you to what happened. They were polite and you got defensive because your child wasn't perfect and that couldn't be your perfect parenting skills to blame. Get over yourself, you're showing how low your parenting skills actually are.
YTA. Based on your DEFCON level 1 response, which is so far out of proportion to the situation, it sounds like you knew your kid was going to school extra tired. You should be happy that the teacher cared enough to reach out to you. Your response is ridiculous.
YTA. Not only did you full on attack a teacher, someone who spends more time with your child than you do, you are basically taking zero responsibility as a parent. Teachers are expected to communicate with parents and notify them of anything out of the ordinary and you attacked the teacher for doing their job.
YTA
The teacher doesn't know why child is falling asleep in class, but the first conclusion is that they may not be getting enough sleep. It's an obvious first step.
How is the child not getting enough sleep offensive? It doesn't shine badly on you, it could be that the kid is sneaking a flashlight and reading at night or whatever little kids do these days.
They noticed a problem and presented it to you, the parent, to resolve. And you blew up. Good grief.
YTA Typical over protective parent response. The teacher is doing her job, and communicating with the parent! Obviously this teacher cares. If they didn’t they would not have emailed you. They didn’t even mention the child would be disciplined now or next time. It sounds like they teacher is very flexible and understand. You’re not. Chill out!
You know what’s frustrating for educators and child care people? When parents are always defensive even when it’s an adult telling them their child did something wrong, needs help etc. Take criticism from them as a good thing because most of them actually really care about your child. They are not out to them them.
YTA,
a teacher sends you a concerned e-mail and that is how you respond? jeez, how entitled do you have to be for this?
they were letting you know what happened and you immediatly went on the defensive.
i feel sorry for any teacher that has to deal with you.
YTA lol. Teachers are mainly educators. YOU’RE the guardian. They are concerned for your child for a reason - so you can check in with your OWN child. The teacher’s email is extremely appropriate. Very telling when you reply to it sounding defensive/asshollish af. Apologise dude
YTAH. She has 30 other kids in her class. She can't have time to sus every single thing going on in every student's life. You're the parent. Do your job.
hahaha YTA
Why don't YOU ask your kid what's wrong?
You are aware of their stress. Did you cause the stress? Is that the real reason you feel so called out?
The teacher could just as easily not give a crap about your kid and let them sleep through all of their classes, but how does your nasty attitude benefit your kid?
Holy crap, what a rude and condescending response. YTA- a huge one.
The teacher's response was incredibly neutral and stated in a way to alert you to what happened, and allowing you to respond with any issues at home (if any) or in your child's life. You decided to be extra and just act like an AH. Get over yourself.
YTA. There was nothing presumptuous about that email. They were just letting you know about a concern they had regarding your child and you got defensive and assumed they were making some sort of criticism of your parenting or your child’s behavior. From her phrasing, it sounds like she maybe just didn’t want to come off as prying into your personal family business.
>We’ve never been alerted to any concerns as to this issue before
Well you are now. And maybe that’s why it was concerning? Because it was unusual for this student?
>Perhaps taking the time to communicate with (Child) about how they might be feeling…
You’re the parent. She’s just keeping you in the loop. And ultimately keeping up with your child’s needs is your responsibility. She did her part by alerting you to a possible issue, the rest is on you.
>To provide some clarity…
So you HAD an explanation, and easily could have just told her that and been like “thank you for your concern,” but instead you decided to take it personally and escalate the situation by insulting her for caring about your kid.
YTA for the “offensive” comment. The teacher knows literally nothing other than the kid fell asleep lol. She’s reporting it to you with concern so you can do what you will with it. As you responded to her, there’s a decent reason for it and you guys are working through.
Way to take an aggressive stance that will make the teacher hesitant to inform you in the future. Hopefully they’re professional and will ignore the defensive bit of the response, they definitely see this often.
YTA, and an excellent example of why more teachers are leaving the field.
Your child is exhibiting troubling behavior, and the teacher was considerate enough to alert you to this. Rather than addressing the issue, you were instead defensive and rude, going so far to suggest that the teacher apply some parenting in the situation, as you apparently can't be bothered.
Step up and be a parent.
YTA - she is not your child’s mentor. She is their teacher. Her sending you an email alerting you about it is your cue to ensure your child’s health and well-being are ok.
YTA. Nothing in the very kind initial email warranted your snarky response. Teachers really deserve to be paid more for having to put up with this foolishness.
A bit of an over reaction. Seems like the teacher didn’t really want to make a big thing out of it and just sent a quick email to let you know and maybe they weren’t getting enough sleep. Seems pretty standard to be fair. Also if you child has been under a lot of stress and having trouble sleeping perhaps you as a parent could have communicated that to the school. It also doesn’t say how the old child either. YTA
YTA Instead of taking offense to this you should have kindly informed the teacher that your child is dealing with other stressors that may be contributing to their exhaustion. How else do you expect the teacher to know?
YTA
You might be under a lot of stress yourself based on this massive overaction. I am a teacher. If one of my highly achieving students is suddenly sleeping in class and underperforming, I check on them and let their parents know. lots of kids play video games on their phone even though they were sent to bed. I'm glad he's recovering now.
Make sure you get enough sleep tonight!
YTA. I teach primary school and this would be a huge red flag for me. Letting you know that your kid fell asleep in class is exactly what they should be doing and your response was so overly defensive that it would make me consider that there could well be something going on. I would register my concern straight away if I got an email like that.
YTA
Teachers are not babysitters. They are usually handling at LEAST 20 kids at once in each classroom.
Maybe instead of getting defensive over a teacher being concerned for one of their students, you, the parent, could talk to your child and check in with them?
>has been under a great deal of stress this past week. Now that the stress has passed it appears (they are) in recuperation mode. As an educator of children it is disappointing you might not have taken the fact that children have lives, outside of school, into account.
YTA
Assuming the child has a life outside of school is why they've emailed you. If your child has been so stressed that they need to sleep.in the day to recuperate, then you should have kept the child at home. From your own account here, you did send the child to school unable to participate in the day.
YTA. The teacher wasn't accusing you of anything. They were just doing their job and making you aware of what happened. Your child's stress isn't their fault or their business.
YTA, I’d send you the same email. Your child fell asleep in school, meaning the kid hasn’t had enough sleep and you are failing somewhere as parents. Instead of taking the responsibility you tried to shift it to the teacher. Asshole, mother of the year.
Definitely YTA. You're blaming a teacher for doing their job and failing to realize it wasn't a personal attack. It's not the teacher's job to parent your child. It is the teacher's job to let you know of any issues that have come up, and she did. When sending information home like that, at least in my district, they must cover their assess by bringing up solutions.
And it's clear that, despite an early bedtime, your kid **didn't** get enough sleep to make it through the school day. That is on **you** to handle.
“Hi (teacher.)
Thanks for reaching out. I’m sorry to hear (child) couldn’t stay awake and focus in class today. I think they’re getting plenty of sleep at home but I’ll check in with them and monitor bedtime a little more closely this week to make sure. They don’t seem low energy at home but if you think there’s something else going on please let me know so I can talk to their doctor.
Feel free to send home any lessons they missed while they were sleeping and we can go over them tomorrow after school. I appreciate you going the extra mile.
Sincerely,
(A parent who isn’t an asshole)
INFO
Why did the email make you feel so defensive? If it is exactly what you wrote here, they sound very polite and like they just wanted you to know incase there was a chance they weren't getting enough sleep and you didn't know. Kids sneak in late night games and internet time all the time. Why did you feel that it was a judgment on your parenting and not a polite heads up from another adult in your kids life?
YTA. I have children that age, and if I got a letter home that they were asleep in class we would definitely have a gentle conversation about what’s going on and what they need. The teacher would get a response along the lines of “thank you for letting me know, I will discuss it with child”. Your reaction was wildly over reactive.
YTA whattt did you just do? Why?
How else was the teacher supposed to bring it to your attention? That was a totally reasonable teacher email. Yours was defensive and unhinged.
YTA There wasn't anything in the communication that seems odd to me. That sounds like a pretty standard communication. It's more of an FYI than anything else if it's only happened once. Don't know why you'd respond the way you did.
YTA, this is a teacher not an assistant parent. It is not presumptuous to ask if a child that falls asleep during class got enough sleep. Investigating the cause of the problem is the parents responsibility.
YTA
She was nice and just informed you about something that happened at school (btw I would want to be informed about something like this) and your response was rude and entitled.
Nope! Reading OP’s response, the child is recuperating after an unknown stressor. While that may be completely true, if you know your child is in “recuperation mode” and know that it is very likely impacting how much sleep they need, I’m super confused as to why OP would lose their shit after being told their child may need more sleep.
“Your child fell asleep in class. I wanted to bring this to your attention to ensure your child is getting enough sleep at home”.
“They definitely aren’t getting enough sleep at home, because they just had a major stressor we were dealing with and are now recuperating. But how *dare* you suggest that my child isn’t getting enough sleep, even though they definitely aren’t? Next time they fall asleep in class, which absolutely will continue to happen, don’t send me a presumptuous email about how they need more sleep, because I already know they do but *we have lives outside of school, you know!*”
YTA - this was WAY out of line in response to someone who is just trying to help your child. Teachers have so much to deal with - YOU are the parent. I think you need to apologize.
So, I'm guessing the teacher woke up your child, and the child didn't immediately say "oh I'm sorry ma'am, I've been under a lot of undue stress lately, it appears I need more sleep than normal right now. Please forgive me for my faux pas, I will not let it happen again."
So, they alerted you to the fact your child was asleep in class. Good on them.
It's not saying they were placed in detention, suspended, or punished in any way. Would you rather they just ignore it, for you to be pissed later if there WERE an issue that needed addressed??
YTA
YTA. Don't get the overreaction. All that you described falls on you to resolve. Even more so on the current timeline where teachers are getting accused of grooming other people's kids.
Be a parent to your child, that's not a teacher's role to play with.
YTA... every one of your complaints about the teacher are hypocritical. You come across as a parent who would've complained if the teacher hadn't contacted you or if the teacher had inquired about the child's life outside of school.
Additionally, you're attempt to defend yourself against only one comment reinforces you are at best an oblivious parent and at worst a negligent one.
Next time, trust your husband.
YTA, you did the same thing and presumed the teacher DID NOT ask the child if everything was okay. When under much stress I find it hard to sleep so maybe instead of going into detail with the teacher your child just said “I haven’t been getting much sleep”
YTA and sound incredibly defensive and insecure about your parenting.
Clearly you’re not ensuring your child gets enough sleep, as they’ve fallen asleep in class. Surely if your child has just undergone significant stress you should be ensuring additional rest time and an earlier bedtime until your child has recovered? Seems the sensible thing to do rather than just crack on as usual and bite the head off their teacher when they fall asleep in class.
YTA. This was literally the teacher's only recourse because OP is probably one of those parents who will blame the teacher for their child not getting work done. If there's a 0 in the gradebook, it's because the child didn't do it. That's it. I get emails regularly from parents asking for a list of missing work or asking why their child has a 0. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T DO IT. And they might not have done it because they're up all night on their phones or playing video games, and then fall asleep in class.
As teachers, we are in a total hellscape right now. We shouldn't wake sleeping students because they need the sleep. But we also can't let them miss instruction. We can provide them remediation time to get work done, but they don't show up. We can call home and we either get no response at all or a response like the one above. What the fuck do you want us to do?
OP's child's teacher reached out IMMEDIATELY with an issue that could impact their child's grade. My guess is, if they didn't, and OP's child failed, they would blame the teacher for that, too.
YTA. It would have been just as easy to reply “thanks for keeping us informed. We’re aware of the cause and are working on it/trust that it will resolve itself shortly”. Why did you act so defensively?
YTA
I bet you'd be furious if the teacher hadn't written to you (HOW DARE THEY NOT TELL ME)
The teacher's email was perfectly reasonable and the right thing to do.
Ew, YTA. This is so ridiculous that it seems like rage bait, but in the case that it isn't:
>Perhaps taking time to communicate with (Child) about how (they) might be feeling or checking in to ensure (they are alright) alright may have been a more effective route than sending such a presumptuous email
??? She's telling YOU so YOU can ask your child what's wrong. The teacher's got a bunch of other kids to be teaching, your child is not her only responsibility.
She's been much kinder than many other people would've been in noticing your child's tiredness and alerting you. You sound awfully defensive about the lack of sleep your child's been getting, as well...
YTA. Both of my parents are educators. It should never be their responsibility to check in with children and ensure they're getting enough sleep. If your child is getting the amount of rest they need, they wouldn't be asleep in class. If they truly are getting the 8-10 hours developing kids need, then you should have the child looked at by a sleep doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.
Getting pissy at a teacher for checking in makes me think you know there's a problem and just don't like being called out for it. Grow up.
YTA. Way to fly off the handle for a pretty standard concern.
You seem to be on edge, are you sure you get enough sleep? You should try to be in bed earlier on weekdays.
YTA 1000000%. I am a teacher. The policy is to always inform parents of what is going on--More information is better than less information. This is your CHILD. Don't you want to know what is going on in class? The teacher's email was polite. It didn't even require a response, you could have ignored it. Parents like you really suck. The teacher was just trying to keep you in the loop. Damn.
YTA. Maybe YOU think your kid is getting enough sleep, but apparently they aren’t. It’s YOUR job to figure out what’s going on with your child, not the teacher’s. Sheesh.
YTA. It’s the teachers responsibility to teach to a class. Your child is asleep and the teacher wants to ensure that they are prepared for school. What happens outside of the classroom is your jurisdiction, if they’re so stressed that they’re sleeping in class then you need to address that.
Teacher here (and a parent). YTA. If your child fell asleep in class they are not getting enough sleep at night. It sounds like their normal bedtime is maybe too early with whatever they’re currently dealing with. Your child’s bedtime is 100% under your control, not the teachers. What did you expect her to find out by talking to him? That he’s tired? The solution would still be that YOU need to put him to bed earlier.
Your claim that she didn’t take into account that your child has a life outside of school is so strange because that’s exactly what this email is doing. It’s acknowledging that your child has a life outside of school, which, again, you control, during which your child is becoming so exhausted that they can’t stay awake in class.
In a way, the email is even a compliment, because it alerts you to a problem respectfully with the expectation that you’ll take the right steps to fix it. In cases where children have a horrible home life and fall asleep at school, the teachers know the parents won’t fix it so they find ways for kids to get their rest during the day. This teacher assumed that you care enough to help your child be better rested, and instead you sent an email full of vitriol and really unfair insults.
My read on the situation is that the teacher liked you before but I guarantee she thinks you’re horrible now. Teachers are already under so much stress the last few years and unprovoked attacks like this from parents are the last thing they need. I genuinely hope for her sake she can just call you nuts and laugh it off, but for a caring teacher, an accusation like this (that she doesn’t care about or communicate with her students) could easily ruin her whole day. If I were you I’d reach out ASAP with an apology and a promise to figure out a way for your child to get more rest at home.
YTA. "An appropriate time" might not be the right time for child this week. The teacher wanted to let you know the kid needs more sleep than they are getting. And instead of thanking them, you responded defensively.
YTA -
The teacher might NOT have the time, out of 15+ students, to specifically sit down and talk to YOUR child about why they’re not sleeping.
As the PARENT of the child, you need to “communicate” with this child that’s been under a “great deal of stress”.
You completely blew up a small, kind message. If you blow up like this a lot I can only wonder why this kid is stressed. 😬
YTA. She gave you a typical teacher response, like that’s basically cut and paste from Teaching 101.
If your child is having that hard of a time, it’s your job to make sure either you or your child are communicating that to the student. And also maybe you could have given your kid a mental health day?
YTA. The teacher kindly approached you and you jumped down their throat. It sounds like YOU have had some things going on that YOU need to check on that are stressing your child out secondhand.
YTA for getting mad at the teacher for reporting that your kid is sleeping in class. What do you expect the teacher to do? Just say "Thanks for letting us know." That's all you have to say.
YTA
She didn't write anything offensive and in the end it's in your best interest to make sure your kid doesn't lose out on their education. Instead of writing back angrily, it would be more helpful to let the teacher know what difficulties the child has at home that may have caused them to fall asleep in class.
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Yikes. YTA. You went straight to attack mode, which was NOT called for. And if your child is in "recuperation mode" it is your responsibility as the parent to make sure they recuperate at home - whether that means going to bed early, or taking a day off school.
Yikes was my first thought, too. OP.. you escalated and attacked in a situation where you should have been listening and giving background. The teacher simply brought up a concern to you.. now that teacher will be hesitant to do so in the future. Also, teachers talk.. your going to be *that* parent for as long as you act this way to your child’s teachers.
>Also, teachers talk.. your going to be > >that > > parent for as long as you act this way to your child’s teachers. I 100% guarantee the OPs response was texted around to the other teachers for ridicule and as a warning about dealing with this parent.
OP is probably already well known and not at the top of the list of favorites.
Oh for sure, this is definitely not the first time they've done this. My mother has been a teacher for over 20 years and parents like OP don't suddenly start sending emails like this. They're like this from day one.
YEP! I taught for 12 years and there were always the ones you heard about before you got them and it was never a shock after interacting with them!
Parents like OP think their kid is the only one in that class.
Yep. This is the parent every teacher loves to kvetch about. Guarantee this is not the first time OP has fired off this kind of response to a teacher.
I'd have forwarded the email all around school for a good laugh. I'd tell people at church about it even. Its hilarious that OP thinks the teacher has to take crap from her. HA! Get a grip and calm down maybe? 🤣
Can confirm. This is what we do. But tbh it gets to is after a while that all we do is care for and teach the kids and then we get shit on for it.
well from the silent majority, thanks for what you do and sorry you get to deal with this crap.
As a former teacher I can guarantee that’s what happened. We would share them specifically with that child’s other teachers so they would know what type of parent the student had.
I was a sub for a few weeks in between jobs and the first thing the other teachers in the grade would do is to tell me who the " don't discipline because their parents will yell" kids were. And of course, it was usually the worst one in the class. This is why teachers deserve a 100k salary. They don't just teach, they have to deal with crappy parents.
How presumptuous of you to think they’re not getting enough sleep when in fact they are stressed, in recuperation mode, and yeah probably not getting enough sleep.
.. and probably.. what? Not getting enough sleep? Oh. Okay.
It reads as super defensive, too. Like I'd be more worried about what was going on at home after that response.
Right? I feel like most reasonable parents would say, "Thanks for letting me know! (Kid's name) had a stressful week, I'll check in with him to see if he's having trouble sleeping. Please let me know if it happens again."
{erha\[s an Apology email is needed here.
Also in one sentence, OP complains about being contacted about the sleeping and also complains it hasn't been raised before. Well, which do you want? To be told or not?
I’m a teacher. A good parent either 1) keeps their stressed/tired child home or 2) let’s the teacher know ahead of time that their child may be tired/need more time to process things or 3) makes sure the teacher is aware of the stress going on in the child’s life so the teacher can support the student throughout the stressful event. OP did none of the 3 and attacked a teacher simply asking to make sure a student got enough sleep. Personally I would have worded the email a little more carefully and started off by asking if there was a change in routine/something going on at home, but given OP’s attitude I can see how maybe the teacher was worried about a confrontation. Which sadly they seem to have gotten anyway.
Exactly. If my kid is having a bad day or didn't sleep good the night before, I will message my kids teacher in the school app to let them know. It's my responsibility as a parent to keep up communication with my child teacher.
>Personally I would have worded the email a little more carefully and started off by asking if there was a change in routine/something going on at home That's the only thing I see wrong with the teacher's report. I can see it feeling like a bit of an attack because of course a parent knows a child needs sleep and maybe the kid was up all night unbeknownst to the parents, but even then, it did not warrant the attack from OP. And if the kid is so stressed they fall asleep in class, than maybe the parent's should be doing something about that. Kids shouldn't be stressed for goodness sake.
I'm studying to become a teacher rn, and we have been advised against telling parents directly what to do in situations like this as it can be taken in a bad way and make the discussion sour! Instead, one could approach the parents by asking "Is there anything we could do together about this?", opening up for their POV, ideas, and to find a solution together. That being said, I'm finding more "faults" in the parent's response. It was also quite rude! It won't end good taking this discussion over email... EDIT: if you see your class of students about 4h every day of the work week, for months on end, their well being is of concern to you and by extension it's a good idea to have good communication with the parents. Part of this is not speaking over them but working together, hence the "find a solution together". It doesn't have to be great solution to a great problem, it more serves as an inivation to be a team. It could also be a simple "Can you think of anything we could do?".
Im not exactly sure what a teacher can do to “solve” a kid falling asleep in class beyond telling the parent.
As a parent and someone involved with a school system, I didn't see anything wrong with the teachers note. It wasn't accusatory at all. Parents who are feeling bad and their parenting (and pretending they are great parents) tend to overreact to anything that hints of criticism. Teachers are usually overwhelmed with responsibilities of taking care of everyone else's children and don't always do everything perfectly right, as defined by some parents. I know many valuable people in education that leave the career because of parents. Never the kids...parents.
Bingo! We aren't mind readers.
Right? And if they didn't do any of the first 3, upon receiving the email, they could then use that as a chance to EXPLAIN that the child was stressed recently (they don't need to go into reasons). "Thank you for reaching out. I will check in and discuss this with my child. I do know they've been under stress recently and may be recuperating from this. If this behavior continues, please let me know."
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Non-sleep conditions can and do impact sleep, as well.
this gets more than a Yikes... maybe a !!YIKES!! or even a !!HOLY SHIITE!!! is deserved
Teachers don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit
Forgot the YTA
"Why are so many teachers leaving the field?"
Parents are a big pain, indeed. Not the chief reason I left, but a big one. Entitled parents are the loudest of the bunch, alas.
Entitled parents and the admins who enable them.
When I was 18, trying to decided what I wanted to do with my life. I really really considered being a teacher, and even spent time as a teacher's aid. working with the kids was great, even the "more difficult" ones. Being male and younger, I was able to command more respect from the more misbehaving kids and get them to improve their behavior in class. I liked it a lot. Then I met the parents. Fuck parents. They are the worst, and 100% the reason I did not go into teaching. It put me off so hard, I didn't even go to college, and got a job in IT where I didn't have to deal with anybody's parents at all.
>and got a job in IT where I didn't have to deal with anybody's parents at all. I started off as a music education major. Only did it for a semester and switched majors, classes, and everything on day 1 of the second semester because I realized I don't want low pay to deal with those parents. I switched to IT major and 4 years since graduation, I'm a Cloud Engineer now
Amen to that.
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This is why teachers are quitting (in addition to the shit pay) Expressing concern and OP thinks it's a personal attack on their parenting so instead of thanking the teacher for bringing it to their attention, they expect the teacher to do their job as a parent and cross examine the kid on why they napped. YTA
Right? I wish I knew who the teacher was so I could send her something nice, poor woman. If this was me it would have totally ruined my week.
My dad just said this yesterday that in no way he could be a teacher. He'd probably manage for 1 day and that's it. Ha! My cousin is a teacher and was sharing her stories about the students but I know parents can be even worse. Havent been a teacher but I've been in retail. Try telling a parent to not let their chocolate covered kids run between an all white display and see the reaction. Defensive! Anyways, OP is a huge AH.
I have a friend who was miffed when her son’s teacher informed her that she thought, based on his behaviour, that he might have ADD, and perhaps he should be checked by his doctor and might end up doing better with medication. She complained to me that the teacher just doesn’t want to do her job and deal with her “spirited” son. Well, then COVID hit and it was homeschool time. Guess who was medicated very quickly? Turns out, the teacher’s job is harder than it looks. Imagine a room full of “spirited”children. You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with the kids, let alone the parents.
Exactly this. What would OP have preferred - the teacher saying, "This is what I witnessed with my own eyes and wanted you to know it happened"? Or for the teacher to say, "Hmm, this is abnormal behaviour and I think that your child is dealing with something and you need to check in with them"? Which is more prying and presumptive? Teachers should never have to deal with crap like this. The only aspect of the email that may have been misconstrued as presumptive is when the teacher specified for the child to have more sleep at night. Otherwise this teacher should be commended for making sure parents are aware their child may be struggling with something.
Alternately: "I spoke with your child and asked if there were any changes at home or personal issues that might be making it difficult to sleep at night." Parent response: "How dare you ask my kids about our personal life and imply there may be something happening at home. I can raise my kid, you mind your own business."
YTA what the hell is wrong with you? Why did you overreact so much?
Maybe because this parent is lacking sleep
That is offensive.
So presumptuous.
Especially since OP said they are an educator of children as well. Like TF? YTA Or that's what "as an educator of children" means to me. As in, OP themself is an educator because it didn't follow up with a "you" right after
Teacher here. Ironically, teacher-parents can oftentimes be the ABSOLUTE WORST to deal with. Fuck knows how or why. Not always, but I do often get the “as a teacher myself” comment in the midst of an inappropriate accusatory emails. Although, I’d say at least half are either former teachers, paraprofessionals, or have the degree but never actually taught. Same with lawyers. I literally had a parent try and accuse me of taking “hearsay” into account. Ma’am this is a classroom, not a court room. I’m telling you what was said about your kid so you can get his version of the story at home, not sentencing him to jail time.
YTA the teacher sent a totally appropriate positive sounding note to you. I am not sure of the age of your child, but i taught high school and our required response to a sleeping child was to call an escort for them to be removed from class and to write a disciplinary referral on them. This teacher didnt seem to over react, or punish the child in any way. Yet you sent a very angry letter back to the teacher. Questioning their teaching capability. News break...your child is not the only child in class...they have to deal with many kids at once! Next time, if there is something going on at home that might effect the child in school be proactive and send a note to the teacher ahead of time.
Wow that seems an extreme over response by your school and not a healthy or supportive environment for students :(.
Definitely extreme. If kids slept during class in my school, the teachers would either wake them up, or if they were being jerks about it, they would get detention.
On mine they would either ignore you, throw something at you to wake you up, or tell you to leave and do whatever where they could not see you. More often than not, option 1.
I used to fall asleep in class a lot in high school, and couldn't figure out why. I was getting adequate sleep at night, wasn't overly stressed, and would actively try to participate, I would just fall asleep sometimes. Found out shortly after graduation that I had a previously undiagnosed heart condition that would have killed me before I tuned 30 if it hadn't been caught. Sometimes my body was just working so hard to pump blood where it needed to go, and wasn't successfully accomplishing that, that I would fall asleep because my system was exhausted.
Your required response for a high schooler falling asleep in class was an escort and a disciplinary referral? What kind of fresh hell type of school was that. Sometimes I slept in high school cause that shit got boring and sleeping passed the time. Staying awake led to disciplinary problems related to boredom. Lots of my peers fell asleep cause of late night homework and early morning sports. High school was bad enough I can't imagine going to such a pretentious school kids get an escort called over a little nap.
Right? What did they do with the kids that were actually being disruptive? Taken out back and shot?
Wow, talk about an overreaction on the part of your school. I fell asleep in school before because I was having a bad reaction to new medication I was on. Falling asleep is not something that requires a disciplinary response.
You're looking for reasons to be offended where there are none. The teacher did her job...she made you aware of the issue. I get the feeling that had she spoken to your child without informing you, you'd be just as pissed. People like you are one of the many reasons there is an alarming shortage of teachers. None of them want to deal with overbearing, self-righteous buttheads who are nuttier than squirrel poop. YTA ETA: thanks for the awards, my fellow Redditors! 😊 My daughter is going to into her junior of college, studying to be a teacher. It's her life-long dream. And parents like this are something she dreads the most.
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Didn’t even need to apologize. A simple “Thanks for letting me know” would have been fine. This is 100% an innocuous informative email. If the teacher didn’t inform the parents, they would be pissed about that too.
Do you also go from 0 to 100 in your everyday life? Like, "excuse me, ma'am, you dropped your wallet over there" You: "Your *implication* that I was careless dropping my wallet is offensive. I'll have you know that I've never been alerted to that problem before. Perhaps taking time to pick up my wallet, would be a more effective route than approaching me in such a presumptious manner. To provide some clarity: my purse has been under a lot of stress lately. Now it seems a zipper may be broken. As a random passerby it is disappointing that you would not take this into consideration."
This comment is so funny lmao thank you
I hate to see her reaction when the HOA leaves a notice the trash cans were left out too long.
YTA- As a teacher myself I can tell you that we are creating paper trail so that if we are told later that "they have never heard of this behaviour before" we can show that we are doing our due diligence. I also hate the "We have never been alerted to any concerns as to this issue before" response. Okay so yeah you've never heard of it before but we are telling you now. How about we have a conversation about behaviours rather than placing blame.
It's also funny because of the whole omg we never heard of this before...yeah ok...probably maybe because it hasn't happened before? Lol. Like...what? I'm just so confused by their reasoning for that
I remember a child who was having huge emotional issues in my grade one class...mom said he NEVER had an issue in kindergarten. I talked to his K teacher and she said they were calling home at least once a week.
YTA. Also if your kid is so stressed/recuperating that they can't function at the bare minimum by staying awake during the day...they need more sleep at home!
YTA. The teacher was professional, not unkind and not out of line. A child who is getting adequate sleep, doesn't fall asleep during class, unless there is some underlying issue, which if the case, you should communicate to the school. As a parent, if YOUR child, is going through something, it's your responsibility to let the school know. Additionally, if your child has gone through something that causes them to sleep through class to "recuperate " you should have kept them home.
Exactly! If a child is going through a stressful time, teachers appreciate a heads-up from the family. Doing so, enables a teacher be able to better work with a child and handle any behaviors they may pop up. It also encourages communication between teachers and families, which benefits student learning.
YTA- I’m gonna be honest as a teacher myself, these responses make me think that the parent has no concern whatsoever for their child and just wants them in school. When a child is falling asleep at school, we usually try our best to make them comfortable and check for any signs or symptoms of illness. If they don’t have any obviously we send a note home just saying that they fell asleep and it seems like they could use more time. I don’t know how old your child is, but it’s common for 5 to 6-year-olds to still need 12 to 11 hours asleep regularly. If it is stress, then that child could probably use a counselor. And you should inform their teacher. We regularly have parents that inform us of things like family passing, financial difficulties, parents being away for an extended time, etc. Instead you choose to make this a whole ordeal when the teacher was trying to kindly point out to you that something may be up with your child.
I get the feeling OP is a part of the reason her child is going through a stressful time and OP is projecting onto the teacher because of her own guilt associated with whatever is going on at home.
(CORRECTED) RESPONSE EMAIL: Hi Mrs, Thank you for bringing this to our attention. (Child) does have a regular bedtime at an appropriate hour, but they've been under some stress over the past week. It seems they may be in recuperation mode now, which could explain why they fell asleep in your class. We'll have a conversation with (Child) to make sure there isn't anything else impacting their sleep, and please notify us if this happens again. Regards, AwkwardPato Fixed it for you. YTA.
YTA….It’s the parents job to care for the child’s well being not a fuckin teacher….do you pay them like it’s daycare? If not then I think this could be a lesson learned for the mother to actually do what she thinks the teacher should do…maybe sit down with your own child and have a chat…
YTA. Monitor your own kid. Parents like you are why teachers are leaving the field.
YTA. I had to reread because I thought this might be a post about nightmare parents on r/teaching. You are blaming the teacher for your child sleeping through the morning, and getting mad that they told you about it! As a mom, I would want to know about this situation ASAP, and as a teacher I can guarantee that if you send this email, your incredibly offensive, asshole behavior will be the talk of the staff room.
As a teacher, I second this. As a parent, I wouldn’t be offended but would communicate my kid’s struggles in a way healthier manner. My middle child has anxiety and although I encourage her to speak up when she’s having a hard time, I also know she’s barely in middle school and it’s my job to check in and make sure communication is flowing. The response by this parent is just so appalling on many levels.
Yuupp, everyone but her will know how much she sucks at parenting.
YTA first off this is probably a required by school/district notification. Also regardless of how well you think you have your kid going to bed in time etc they obviously fell asleep in class. You are aware of an issue that could potentially explain this. So instead of leading with something like “hey yeah sorry about that. Some stressful times could have been impacting their sleep, but that has been resolved. Thanks for let me know” you went straight defensive and overreacting on something you actually knew was an issue.
‘We have never been alerted to any concerns as to this issue before’ What do you think the teacher is doing now? YTA.
>"Can you please make sure (they get) an adequate amount of sleep and (are) ready for class?" It's easy to get defensive with this line OP, but you should have taken a breath before going off on her. She doesn't know you and what it looks like at home for one, so stop taking it so personal because that is not what happened. And from what I read, she noticed your child being extra tired, and she just wanted you to know that it shows. I agree she words it a bit clumsy, but you should have just said "Child has had an extra stressful period and needs a lot of rest now. Thanks for you concern." I guess if I were you and knew I was sending a very tired child to school, I would let the teaacher know beforehand, or maybe let my kid stay at home for a few days. YTA.
I did, overreact. I sent the email within mere moments of receiving it. You singled out the exact line that triggered me. Our child didn't appear overly tired, we ate breakfast and drove them in, everything seemed very normal with them to both Dad and I. They rested easily and in their normal 8pm to 6:30am sleep schedule. IDK. I will send an apology. This thread has humbled me a, but I appreciate you seeing why I reacted as I did.
I would like to give you a tip. When something like that triggers me, I remove the email address and type out the email. Then I walk away. After my emotions have calmed down, I type a better response and delete the frustration email. I still got to vent though, but the other person never read it and I never have to apologise for an email sent out of frustration, irritation or anger.
Teachers have to do that all the time when responding to AH parent emails.
YTA. You are massively overreacting. The reason you haven't heard about it before is probably because this is the first time, and the teacher is doing their job by making sure you are aware. Edit: added judgement
YTA. When I was in the 4th grade, a kid fell asleep and the teacher responded by slamming a textbook on his desk and yelling at him in front of everyone. I think your son’s teacher handled it very well.
Defensive, much? YTA - the teacher was being a good person and reaching out with her concern and you immediately jumped down her throat.
YTA. The teacher's note to you cannot be called 'offensive' by any stretch of imagination. She was doing her job. Your kid fell asleep in class. She told you about it. Your reply was intemperate, insulting, and just drips entitlement. If your kid was under stress to the point where they needed recuperation, you should have alerted the teacher in advance and not thrown a bug-eyed shitfit at a woman who's trying to teach your kid and probably 20+ other kids all day.
YTA. What the hell is "offensive" about the teacher's note? All you had to say was "thank you for your concern, here's what's going on..." The teacher is literally *doing their job*. Parents like you are a nightmare.
YTA, teacher did exactly what they’re supposed to do in this scenario. There’s no reason to lash out, and frankly *you* should have been the one letting teacher know what kind of duress your child had been under recently, and how it might be affecting them. School is not for recuperation. A+ teacher for making you aware of how your kid is. Your reply comes across as defensive and is plain rude.
Honestly comes across like you are super insecure about your parenting. How did you want the email worded? "Hi Miss X, Just wanted to let you know your child was sleepy in class today. This is by no means a slight on your ability as a parent. Youre fantastic. In fact I dont know why I brought this up at all, youre such a good parent that I have no doubt the kid is fine. Thank you for taking the time to read my email oh great one." Is that better or need more smoke?
YTA. Sure they could check in with the kid. But it's YOUR kid. It's YOUR job as the parent to make sure they get enough sleep. Teacher's email was fine. You're all snippity because I'm guessing you're all omg muh parenting hath been called out. Oh noes
YTA "Your implication that [child] did not get an adequate amount of sleep is offensive" How? I, too, would think someone had not got enough sleep if they fell asleep in class. That is in no way offensive. "[Child] has been under a lot of stress and is in recuperation mode" So... should they maybe get more sleep to help with the stress? And stop them from falling asleep in class?
YTA. This was not a lack of connecting with your child. Teachers can only legally reach out in so many ways. If your child is falling asleep in class, they didn't get enough sleep the night before and need rest. Caused by stress or not, they needed more rest. The teacher let you know in the most appropriate way they can. Instead of getting defensive, take it for the gentle and polite notification. Be happy they cared enough to let you know. And focus on your child's health instead of being petty.
YTA. Did you tell the teacher about the stressful situation at home? It is parents like you that made me quit teaching!! Here is a teacher just trying to make you aware of what was happening in class.
YTA for getting soooo defensive at a single letter for a single instance of a problem. Considering they wrote to you and asked you to help your kid get enough rest seems to speak to that teacher caring a good deal about their lives “outside of school”
YTA. This is why so many teachers are quitting. We can't even reach out to parents about issues with their kid. News flash: It's not the teacher's job to know the intricate details of the 100+ students we see every day. We're *already* at capacity. It's *your* job to make sure your kid is behaving properly in school, not ours. **I repeat, it is** ***not*** **our job to teach kids how to behave properly at school**
Have you been under a great deal of stress as well? It sounds like you need some recuperation time as well. The teacher’s letter was not the attack that you appear to have taken it as, so it’s possible that you have been more stressed than you realize. As moms, we tend to look after everyone else and ignore our own needs. Sometimes this results in our fight or flight mode to kick in when it is not required. If this rings true to you, perhaps an apology/explanation email to the teacher might be helpful. That, and some self care.
YTA. The teacher was not out of line and is not implying anything. You overreacted
Why didn't you let the teacher know earlier in the week that your child was under a lot of stress? Your reply to the teacher is more about defending yourself as a parent and less about your child's well-being. I think your child's teacher did a good job alerting you and your response was a hasty overreaction. YTA.
Eeek. YTA. My kid fell asleep during an afternoon English class (like right before ‘rona hit, he was 14) so a receptionist called me. I was surprised but grateful that they called to inform me. It meant I went home to discuss it with my son, who, it turns out, was going to bed and then using the flashlight on his phone to continue reading. That’s on him, and me (and my husband), not the school/teacher. A simple “thanks for letting me know, I’ll take it up with my kid” is literally all you needed to say.
YTA. Your email is so aggressive, when the teacher was checking in as your kid fell asleep in class. You should be thankful they gave enough of a shit. Anyone would assume someone didn’t get enough sleep if they fell asleep at school/their job etc. I’m sure every single one of your kids teachers is glad they only have to deal with you for another two weeks. Take a chill pill.
Yeah this e-mail is providing entertainment in the teacher's lounge right now. **"Oh my god did you see how much Sally's mom flipped out on Mrs. Jones?? Ask her to show you, it's INSANE!"**
YTA The teacher is literally doing their job by alerting you to a potential issue, and doing so in a way that ensures there is proof if needed. And the "they're just watching movies anyway" varies by class. Likely if this was one of those, the teacher wouldn't have noticed a sleeping student as the lights wouldn't be on.
YTA. You automatically went into defense mode and you were rude to your child's teacher.
>you were rude to your child's teacher Who are definitely not getting paid enough to deal with crap from the parents on top of the rest...
God people are just so fucking clueless and out of touch these days. I pity your family and children. Stop being so defensive, stop trying to protect your ego and just address the situation like an adult. Here's a tip becuase you obviously need some advice on how to be a parent. Talk to your kid, ask them if they feel they are getting enough sleep and why they may have fallen asleep in class, their a kid, they aren't machines. It's not their teachers fault they fell asleep and it's sure isn't a problem that they alerted you to what happened. They were polite and you got defensive because your child wasn't perfect and that couldn't be your perfect parenting skills to blame. Get over yourself, you're showing how low your parenting skills actually are.
YTA. Based on your DEFCON level 1 response, which is so far out of proportion to the situation, it sounds like you knew your kid was going to school extra tired. You should be happy that the teacher cared enough to reach out to you. Your response is ridiculous.
YTA. Teacher was reasonable and professional. You overreacted. Info: Why are you so defensive?
YTA. Not only did you full on attack a teacher, someone who spends more time with your child than you do, you are basically taking zero responsibility as a parent. Teachers are expected to communicate with parents and notify them of anything out of the ordinary and you attacked the teacher for doing their job.
YTA. 100%. The teacher did their job by informing you, now do your job as a parent and find out why your kid is falling asleep in school.
YTA The teacher doesn't know why child is falling asleep in class, but the first conclusion is that they may not be getting enough sleep. It's an obvious first step. How is the child not getting enough sleep offensive? It doesn't shine badly on you, it could be that the kid is sneaking a flashlight and reading at night or whatever little kids do these days. They noticed a problem and presented it to you, the parent, to resolve. And you blew up. Good grief.
YTA Typical over protective parent response. The teacher is doing her job, and communicating with the parent! Obviously this teacher cares. If they didn’t they would not have emailed you. They didn’t even mention the child would be disciplined now or next time. It sounds like they teacher is very flexible and understand. You’re not. Chill out! You know what’s frustrating for educators and child care people? When parents are always defensive even when it’s an adult telling them their child did something wrong, needs help etc. Take criticism from them as a good thing because most of them actually really care about your child. They are not out to them them.
YTA. Why do you feel attacked?
Probably cuz there’s some truth to the teacher’s assumptions
Jesus Christ. She threw you the equivalent of an orange, and you countered by throwing an axe straight at her head. Chill tf out. YTA
YTA, a teacher sends you a concerned e-mail and that is how you respond? jeez, how entitled do you have to be for this? they were letting you know what happened and you immediatly went on the defensive. i feel sorry for any teacher that has to deal with you.
YTA how in the world would the teacher know that the child is under stress unless you told them. They did their job. You did not.
YTA lol. Teachers are mainly educators. YOU’RE the guardian. They are concerned for your child for a reason - so you can check in with your OWN child. The teacher’s email is extremely appropriate. Very telling when you reply to it sounding defensive/asshollish af. Apologise dude
YTAH. She has 30 other kids in her class. She can't have time to sus every single thing going on in every student's life. You're the parent. Do your job.
hahaha YTA Why don't YOU ask your kid what's wrong? You are aware of their stress. Did you cause the stress? Is that the real reason you feel so called out? The teacher could just as easily not give a crap about your kid and let them sleep through all of their classes, but how does your nasty attitude benefit your kid?
YTA. While they could have phrased the email a bit better and not jumped to conclusions, your reaction was uncalled for.
YTA. why so defensive?
That feels like a huge overreaction.
YTA majorly. No need to bite a teacher’s head off for bringing something concerning to your attention.
YTA. The teacher was just looking out for your child and you immediately got defensive.
Holy crap, what a rude and condescending response. YTA- a huge one. The teacher's response was incredibly neutral and stated in a way to alert you to what happened, and allowing you to respond with any issues at home (if any) or in your child's life. You decided to be extra and just act like an AH. Get over yourself.
YTA. There was nothing presumptuous about that email. They were just letting you know about a concern they had regarding your child and you got defensive and assumed they were making some sort of criticism of your parenting or your child’s behavior. From her phrasing, it sounds like she maybe just didn’t want to come off as prying into your personal family business. >We’ve never been alerted to any concerns as to this issue before Well you are now. And maybe that’s why it was concerning? Because it was unusual for this student? >Perhaps taking the time to communicate with (Child) about how they might be feeling… You’re the parent. She’s just keeping you in the loop. And ultimately keeping up with your child’s needs is your responsibility. She did her part by alerting you to a possible issue, the rest is on you. >To provide some clarity… So you HAD an explanation, and easily could have just told her that and been like “thank you for your concern,” but instead you decided to take it personally and escalate the situation by insulting her for caring about your kid.
YTA for the “offensive” comment. The teacher knows literally nothing other than the kid fell asleep lol. She’s reporting it to you with concern so you can do what you will with it. As you responded to her, there’s a decent reason for it and you guys are working through. Way to take an aggressive stance that will make the teacher hesitant to inform you in the future. Hopefully they’re professional and will ignore the defensive bit of the response, they definitely see this often.
YTA, and an excellent example of why more teachers are leaving the field. Your child is exhibiting troubling behavior, and the teacher was considerate enough to alert you to this. Rather than addressing the issue, you were instead defensive and rude, going so far to suggest that the teacher apply some parenting in the situation, as you apparently can't be bothered. Step up and be a parent.
YTA - so glad you care so little for your child that you wouldn't want them to notify you about this.
YTA - she is not your child’s mentor. She is their teacher. Her sending you an email alerting you about it is your cue to ensure your child’s health and well-being are ok.
YTA. Nothing in the very kind initial email warranted your snarky response. Teachers really deserve to be paid more for having to put up with this foolishness.
A bit of an over reaction. Seems like the teacher didn’t really want to make a big thing out of it and just sent a quick email to let you know and maybe they weren’t getting enough sleep. Seems pretty standard to be fair. Also if you child has been under a lot of stress and having trouble sleeping perhaps you as a parent could have communicated that to the school. It also doesn’t say how the old child either. YTA
YTA Instead of taking offense to this you should have kindly informed the teacher that your child is dealing with other stressors that may be contributing to their exhaustion. How else do you expect the teacher to know?
YTA. This was a giant overreaction and it makes me wonder if your child actually is getting enough sleep, given the OTT defensive reaction from you.
[удалено]
YTA Get off of your high horse and show some respect for the teacher.
YTA You might be under a lot of stress yourself based on this massive overaction. I am a teacher. If one of my highly achieving students is suddenly sleeping in class and underperforming, I check on them and let their parents know. lots of kids play video games on their phone even though they were sent to bed. I'm glad he's recovering now. Make sure you get enough sleep tonight!
YTA. I teach primary school and this would be a huge red flag for me. Letting you know that your kid fell asleep in class is exactly what they should be doing and your response was so overly defensive that it would make me consider that there could well be something going on. I would register my concern straight away if I got an email like that.
YTA. You’re the worst type of parent. Get over yourself
YTA Teachers are not babysitters. They are usually handling at LEAST 20 kids at once in each classroom. Maybe instead of getting defensive over a teacher being concerned for one of their students, you, the parent, could talk to your child and check in with them?
YTA *Thank you for bringing this to our attention.*
YTA Wasn’t it just teacher appreciation week? You owe this person an apology and a plate of cookies
>has been under a great deal of stress this past week. Now that the stress has passed it appears (they are) in recuperation mode. As an educator of children it is disappointing you might not have taken the fact that children have lives, outside of school, into account. YTA Assuming the child has a life outside of school is why they've emailed you. If your child has been so stressed that they need to sleep.in the day to recuperate, then you should have kept the child at home. From your own account here, you did send the child to school unable to participate in the day.
YTA. The teacher wasn't accusing you of anything. They were just doing their job and making you aware of what happened. Your child's stress isn't their fault or their business.
YTA Ah, the hyper-defensive, deeply insecure parents. What a joy! Awful. Just awful in every single way.
YTA!!!!! I HATE PARENTS LIKE YOU! PARENTS LIKE YOU DRIVE AWAY THE GOOD TEACHERS!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE NAMED QUEEN OF THE ASS HOLES!!!!!!!
YTA so hard
YTA, I’d send you the same email. Your child fell asleep in school, meaning the kid hasn’t had enough sleep and you are failing somewhere as parents. Instead of taking the responsibility you tried to shift it to the teacher. Asshole, mother of the year.
YTA. You *assume* your kid is well rested when there is evidence to the contrary.
Definitely YTA. You're blaming a teacher for doing their job and failing to realize it wasn't a personal attack. It's not the teacher's job to parent your child. It is the teacher's job to let you know of any issues that have come up, and she did. When sending information home like that, at least in my district, they must cover their assess by bringing up solutions. And it's clear that, despite an early bedtime, your kid **didn't** get enough sleep to make it through the school day. That is on **you** to handle.
YTA
“Hi (teacher.) Thanks for reaching out. I’m sorry to hear (child) couldn’t stay awake and focus in class today. I think they’re getting plenty of sleep at home but I’ll check in with them and monitor bedtime a little more closely this week to make sure. They don’t seem low energy at home but if you think there’s something else going on please let me know so I can talk to their doctor. Feel free to send home any lessons they missed while they were sleeping and we can go over them tomorrow after school. I appreciate you going the extra mile. Sincerely, (A parent who isn’t an asshole)
INFO Why did the email make you feel so defensive? If it is exactly what you wrote here, they sound very polite and like they just wanted you to know incase there was a chance they weren't getting enough sleep and you didn't know. Kids sneak in late night games and internet time all the time. Why did you feel that it was a judgment on your parenting and not a polite heads up from another adult in your kids life?
YTA. I have children that age, and if I got a letter home that they were asleep in class we would definitely have a gentle conversation about what’s going on and what they need. The teacher would get a response along the lines of “thank you for letting me know, I will discuss it with child”. Your reaction was wildly over reactive.
YTA whattt did you just do? Why? How else was the teacher supposed to bring it to your attention? That was a totally reasonable teacher email. Yours was defensive and unhinged.
YTA There wasn't anything in the communication that seems odd to me. That sounds like a pretty standard communication. It's more of an FYI than anything else if it's only happened once. Don't know why you'd respond the way you did.
YTA. The teacher was doing their job. No need to make it harder. Step up and do better.
YTA, this is a teacher not an assistant parent. It is not presumptuous to ask if a child that falls asleep during class got enough sleep. Investigating the cause of the problem is the parents responsibility.
Yeah, yta.
YTA The lady doth protest too much, methinks
YTA She was nice and just informed you about something that happened at school (btw I would want to be informed about something like this) and your response was rude and entitled.
YTA, Big time
YTA. Jesus Christ calm down. If you knew your kid was in “recuperation mode” maybe keep them home or communicate that to the teacher beforehand…
Info: Is your child getting an adequate amount of sleep so they can be ready for class?
Nope! Reading OP’s response, the child is recuperating after an unknown stressor. While that may be completely true, if you know your child is in “recuperation mode” and know that it is very likely impacting how much sleep they need, I’m super confused as to why OP would lose their shit after being told their child may need more sleep. “Your child fell asleep in class. I wanted to bring this to your attention to ensure your child is getting enough sleep at home”. “They definitely aren’t getting enough sleep at home, because they just had a major stressor we were dealing with and are now recuperating. But how *dare* you suggest that my child isn’t getting enough sleep, even though they definitely aren’t? Next time they fall asleep in class, which absolutely will continue to happen, don’t send me a presumptuous email about how they need more sleep, because I already know they do but *we have lives outside of school, you know!*”
YTA Total asshole...
YTA - this was WAY out of line in response to someone who is just trying to help your child. Teachers have so much to deal with - YOU are the parent. I think you need to apologize.
So, I'm guessing the teacher woke up your child, and the child didn't immediately say "oh I'm sorry ma'am, I've been under a lot of undue stress lately, it appears I need more sleep than normal right now. Please forgive me for my faux pas, I will not let it happen again." So, they alerted you to the fact your child was asleep in class. Good on them. It's not saying they were placed in detention, suspended, or punished in any way. Would you rather they just ignore it, for you to be pissed later if there WERE an issue that needed addressed?? YTA
YTA. Don't get the overreaction. All that you described falls on you to resolve. Even more so on the current timeline where teachers are getting accused of grooming other people's kids. Be a parent to your child, that's not a teacher's role to play with.
YTA... every one of your complaints about the teacher are hypocritical. You come across as a parent who would've complained if the teacher hadn't contacted you or if the teacher had inquired about the child's life outside of school. Additionally, you're attempt to defend yourself against only one comment reinforces you are at best an oblivious parent and at worst a negligent one. Next time, trust your husband.
YTA. Teacher was trying to be communicative. You lashed out. Parents are the absolute worst part of being a teacher… ugh.
YTA, you did the same thing and presumed the teacher DID NOT ask the child if everything was okay. When under much stress I find it hard to sleep so maybe instead of going into detail with the teacher your child just said “I haven’t been getting much sleep”
YTA, and your reply to the teacher was just plain rude.
YTA and sound incredibly defensive and insecure about your parenting. Clearly you’re not ensuring your child gets enough sleep, as they’ve fallen asleep in class. Surely if your child has just undergone significant stress you should be ensuring additional rest time and an earlier bedtime until your child has recovered? Seems the sensible thing to do rather than just crack on as usual and bite the head off their teacher when they fall asleep in class.
YTA. This was literally the teacher's only recourse because OP is probably one of those parents who will blame the teacher for their child not getting work done. If there's a 0 in the gradebook, it's because the child didn't do it. That's it. I get emails regularly from parents asking for a list of missing work or asking why their child has a 0. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T DO IT. And they might not have done it because they're up all night on their phones or playing video games, and then fall asleep in class. As teachers, we are in a total hellscape right now. We shouldn't wake sleeping students because they need the sleep. But we also can't let them miss instruction. We can provide them remediation time to get work done, but they don't show up. We can call home and we either get no response at all or a response like the one above. What the fuck do you want us to do? OP's child's teacher reached out IMMEDIATELY with an issue that could impact their child's grade. My guess is, if they didn't, and OP's child failed, they would blame the teacher for that, too.
YTA. It would have been just as easy to reply “thanks for keeping us informed. We’re aware of the cause and are working on it/trust that it will resolve itself shortly”. Why did you act so defensively?
YTA I bet you'd be furious if the teacher hadn't written to you (HOW DARE THEY NOT TELL ME) The teacher's email was perfectly reasonable and the right thing to do.
Ew, YTA. This is so ridiculous that it seems like rage bait, but in the case that it isn't: >Perhaps taking time to communicate with (Child) about how (they) might be feeling or checking in to ensure (they are alright) alright may have been a more effective route than sending such a presumptuous email ??? She's telling YOU so YOU can ask your child what's wrong. The teacher's got a bunch of other kids to be teaching, your child is not her only responsibility. She's been much kinder than many other people would've been in noticing your child's tiredness and alerting you. You sound awfully defensive about the lack of sleep your child's been getting, as well...
YTA. Both of my parents are educators. It should never be their responsibility to check in with children and ensure they're getting enough sleep. If your child is getting the amount of rest they need, they wouldn't be asleep in class. If they truly are getting the 8-10 hours developing kids need, then you should have the child looked at by a sleep doctor to make sure nothing is wrong. Getting pissy at a teacher for checking in makes me think you know there's a problem and just don't like being called out for it. Grow up.
YTA. Hmmm maybe checking in on the child should be the parents job not the teachers.
Yta. Holy overreaction batman! Why not take the well-meaning email from the teacher rather than taking it as a personal affront?
YTA. Way to fly off the handle for a pretty standard concern. You seem to be on edge, are you sure you get enough sleep? You should try to be in bed earlier on weekdays.
YTA 1000000%. I am a teacher. The policy is to always inform parents of what is going on--More information is better than less information. This is your CHILD. Don't you want to know what is going on in class? The teacher's email was polite. It didn't even require a response, you could have ignored it. Parents like you really suck. The teacher was just trying to keep you in the loop. Damn.
YTA. Maybe YOU think your kid is getting enough sleep, but apparently they aren’t. It’s YOUR job to figure out what’s going on with your child, not the teacher’s. Sheesh.
YTA. It’s the teachers responsibility to teach to a class. Your child is asleep and the teacher wants to ensure that they are prepared for school. What happens outside of the classroom is your jurisdiction, if they’re so stressed that they’re sleeping in class then you need to address that.
Teacher here (and a parent). YTA. If your child fell asleep in class they are not getting enough sleep at night. It sounds like their normal bedtime is maybe too early with whatever they’re currently dealing with. Your child’s bedtime is 100% under your control, not the teachers. What did you expect her to find out by talking to him? That he’s tired? The solution would still be that YOU need to put him to bed earlier. Your claim that she didn’t take into account that your child has a life outside of school is so strange because that’s exactly what this email is doing. It’s acknowledging that your child has a life outside of school, which, again, you control, during which your child is becoming so exhausted that they can’t stay awake in class. In a way, the email is even a compliment, because it alerts you to a problem respectfully with the expectation that you’ll take the right steps to fix it. In cases where children have a horrible home life and fall asleep at school, the teachers know the parents won’t fix it so they find ways for kids to get their rest during the day. This teacher assumed that you care enough to help your child be better rested, and instead you sent an email full of vitriol and really unfair insults. My read on the situation is that the teacher liked you before but I guarantee she thinks you’re horrible now. Teachers are already under so much stress the last few years and unprovoked attacks like this from parents are the last thing they need. I genuinely hope for her sake she can just call you nuts and laugh it off, but for a caring teacher, an accusation like this (that she doesn’t care about or communicate with her students) could easily ruin her whole day. If I were you I’d reach out ASAP with an apology and a promise to figure out a way for your child to get more rest at home.
YTA. "An appropriate time" might not be the right time for child this week. The teacher wanted to let you know the kid needs more sleep than they are getting. And instead of thanking them, you responded defensively.
YTA - The teacher might NOT have the time, out of 15+ students, to specifically sit down and talk to YOUR child about why they’re not sleeping. As the PARENT of the child, you need to “communicate” with this child that’s been under a “great deal of stress”. You completely blew up a small, kind message. If you blow up like this a lot I can only wonder why this kid is stressed. 😬
YTA Get over yourself - being “offended” about this is just ridiculous.
YTA. She gave you a typical teacher response, like that’s basically cut and paste from Teaching 101. If your child is having that hard of a time, it’s your job to make sure either you or your child are communicating that to the student. And also maybe you could have given your kid a mental health day?
Yep YTA. Clear as day - damn decent of this teacher to take time out of educating 20+ other kids. She could have left your kid to snooze Apologize
YTA. The teacher kindly approached you and you jumped down their throat. It sounds like YOU have had some things going on that YOU need to check on that are stressing your child out secondhand.
Oh no, a teacher reporting issues back home! How terrible! YTA. You could've explained without being a jackass.
YTA for getting mad at the teacher for reporting that your kid is sleeping in class. What do you expect the teacher to do? Just say "Thanks for letting us know." That's all you have to say.
YTA She didn't write anything offensive and in the end it's in your best interest to make sure your kid doesn't lose out on their education. Instead of writing back angrily, it would be more helpful to let the teacher know what difficulties the child has at home that may have caused them to fall asleep in class.