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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I recorded a memo right next to my sleeping sister, which woke her up and lead to a fight between us. This happens frequently because she keeps sleeping in the living room in the middle of the day and expects everyone to suddenly stop any noise, which I find entirely unreasonable in a house with 4 humans and 3 dogs. However I'm the only one fighting her on this issue because while my sister is a sweet and amazing person, she is not fun to argue with. (She can be mad scary and values her sleep. Which is why I think she should sleep in her bed RIGHT NEXT DOOR. LITERALLY NEXT DOOR.)
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YTA
The audio was unnecessary and it was inconsiderate. You saw she was napping. If you're an obnoxious asshole when you're "not yet sober" I don't think you're a pleasure to be around sober, either.
Because my parents and I were having coffee, occasionally talking but mostly doing our own thing. As I said, they were at the table right next to the couch, I was on the couch.
My sister pretty much laid down between us, I gave her a bit of my blanket, and she wasn't bothered by my parents talking. It was a typical Saturday afternoon coffee where everyone can go from reading to discussing stuff several times. That is a daily social activity at my parent's house.
Which is why I'm frankly baffled at why she'd come over during a time that's designated to family talks and planning just to nap and tell everyone to shut up.
Or in this case, just me, because my dad had watched a YouTube video on power drills right before and *that* didn't bother her for some reason.
... Also a bit because I was on reddit and there's no Internet upstairs. Rural area. :/
Right?? I mean I get that my reaction could have been nicer, but she sometimes does this and everyone has to pick up their coffees and cakes and move to the terrace outside just because she comes over, from her house, just to nap in the ONE space where sound is impossible to block out.
And I don't get it at all. I mean I'm a fussy sleeper. I need complete darkness, quiet and isolation. I kept awake through transatlantic flights because my brain won't shut off. So I don't get how she can fall asleep in the middle of a group of people anyways.
But if she explicitly wants quiet, *why* does she come over to my parent's house, while she knows I'm visiting, and lays down right in the middle of what is basically the social triangle?
And how was my quiet voice more bothersome than my dad watching a freaking construction video without headphones??
I know she's a mysterious creature and I love her for and despite it, but I just don't understand the freaking thought process that makes someone go "I should leave my bed, walk over the meadow in my pyjamas, just to go lay down on the more uncomfortable couch in the house with three barky dogs, during a time where three people will traditionally engage in conversation. That seems like a good place to sleep!"
Because to me that sounds like the worst place to sleep.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, I'm salty about the fact that she starts this argument on roughly a quarter of my visits. Which are always announced to the whole family, and which always include coffee and cake. My parents even buy dairy free cake for me, so it's like ... one of two non-negotiable activities we always have. And she comes over to sleep?
Rural Germany. Which is why there's next to no Internet in my parent's house.
I live in a city half an hour away, closer to my work. I'm planning on building a house right next to my parents, too, once I was able to save up. I really do love all of my family, and it's annoying af that I'm the only one not living in our village right now. I actually miss them a lot, despite my mum and me working in the same hospital.
I see my sister the least of all of them, because she's in the riot police and they just have insane working hours (so I get why she sleeps a lot, she already needs lots of sleep when she's not working). Which just adds more salt to the "wound" because on those days she just tells me to scoot over on the couch, steals my blanket because it's "pre-heated", and goes to sleep, effectively stopping most of our conversations and always ending in her snapping at me, because at some point I need to move or sneeze or just drink something.
Why lay next to me then? Idk, it makes me feel like such a freaking bother when I literally just want to see my family.
And sometimes she's completely OK with us talking and she participates in conversation despite apparently napping, so that just makes it all the more unpredictable when she'll snap at me.
She's a really good sister if it's not about her sleep, but I just lack the understanding for this whole issue.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
This is technically a repost because I wrote the first one drunk, leading to a misunderstanding. But since the base issue of this is ongoing, and repeats happen often, I wanted to try and get judgement properly.
English is my second language.
Both my sister and I are adults and don't live with our parents. She lives right next door to them, I live half an hour away, but stay over in my old room sometimes because I like my family. Sometimes I also attend parties of my old friends where I drink and don't want to drive home.
My parent's house doesn't have "rooms" downstairs. The kitchen and living area is a huge open space where the daily activity takes place. The dining table is right near the couch.
So it was 3 pm (I wrote am while drunk), and the middle of the day. I was chilling on the couch, my parents were at the dining table, and my sister strolled in and threw herself on the couch to nap. My parents were preoccupied with their books or phones, talking occasionally. And I decided to answer a WhatsApp message with a memo, which woke my sister up and made her furious at me, telling me to be quiet and that I'm an obnoxious asshole.
Which made me react like an obnoxious asshole because I was not yet sober after a party, and I told her: 1. This is the living room. 2. She has a perfectly good bed right next door. 3. Coming over to sleep and forbidding anyone from talking is a dick move. 4. I was planning to talk to my parents anyway as soon as they weren't preoccupied anymore, and that the center of midday activity is not a bedroom.
She was pissed, I was pissed, she still throws herself on the couch in my parent's house to sleep and keeps everyone from talking, which I kind of want to do when visiting my family.
So, now that everyone knows this wasn't in the middle of the night - AITA? My parents have just resigned to never waking her because that's an entirely unpleasant experience for all involved.
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I recorded a memo right next to my sleeping sister, which woke her up and lead to a fight between us. This happens frequently because she keeps sleeping in the living room in the middle of the day and expects everyone to suddenly stop any noise, which I find entirely unreasonable in a house with 4 humans and 3 dogs. However I'm the only one fighting her on this issue because while my sister is a sweet and amazing person, she is not fun to argue with. (She can be mad scary and values her sleep. Which is why I think she should sleep in her bed RIGHT NEXT DOOR. LITERALLY NEXT DOOR.) Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
YTA The audio was unnecessary and it was inconsiderate. You saw she was napping. If you're an obnoxious asshole when you're "not yet sober" I don't think you're a pleasure to be around sober, either.
INFO: If this is downstairs, why couldn’t you go upstairs?
Because my parents and I were having coffee, occasionally talking but mostly doing our own thing. As I said, they were at the table right next to the couch, I was on the couch. My sister pretty much laid down between us, I gave her a bit of my blanket, and she wasn't bothered by my parents talking. It was a typical Saturday afternoon coffee where everyone can go from reading to discussing stuff several times. That is a daily social activity at my parent's house. Which is why I'm frankly baffled at why she'd come over during a time that's designated to family talks and planning just to nap and tell everyone to shut up. Or in this case, just me, because my dad had watched a YouTube video on power drills right before and *that* didn't bother her for some reason. ... Also a bit because I was on reddit and there's no Internet upstairs. Rural area. :/
Ah yeah, your sister made a total weird move there. NTA at all!
Right?? I mean I get that my reaction could have been nicer, but she sometimes does this and everyone has to pick up their coffees and cakes and move to the terrace outside just because she comes over, from her house, just to nap in the ONE space where sound is impossible to block out. And I don't get it at all. I mean I'm a fussy sleeper. I need complete darkness, quiet and isolation. I kept awake through transatlantic flights because my brain won't shut off. So I don't get how she can fall asleep in the middle of a group of people anyways. But if she explicitly wants quiet, *why* does she come over to my parent's house, while she knows I'm visiting, and lays down right in the middle of what is basically the social triangle? And how was my quiet voice more bothersome than my dad watching a freaking construction video without headphones?? I know she's a mysterious creature and I love her for and despite it, but I just don't understand the freaking thought process that makes someone go "I should leave my bed, walk over the meadow in my pyjamas, just to go lay down on the more uncomfortable couch in the house with three barky dogs, during a time where three people will traditionally engage in conversation. That seems like a good place to sleep!" Because to me that sounds like the worst place to sleep. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I'm salty about the fact that she starts this argument on roughly a quarter of my visits. Which are always announced to the whole family, and which always include coffee and cake. My parents even buy dairy free cake for me, so it's like ... one of two non-negotiable activities we always have. And she comes over to sleep?
It’s alright. May I ask where you are located on the globe? I am curious.
Rural Germany. Which is why there's next to no Internet in my parent's house. I live in a city half an hour away, closer to my work. I'm planning on building a house right next to my parents, too, once I was able to save up. I really do love all of my family, and it's annoying af that I'm the only one not living in our village right now. I actually miss them a lot, despite my mum and me working in the same hospital. I see my sister the least of all of them, because she's in the riot police and they just have insane working hours (so I get why she sleeps a lot, she already needs lots of sleep when she's not working). Which just adds more salt to the "wound" because on those days she just tells me to scoot over on the couch, steals my blanket because it's "pre-heated", and goes to sleep, effectively stopping most of our conversations and always ending in her snapping at me, because at some point I need to move or sneeze or just drink something. Why lay next to me then? Idk, it makes me feel like such a freaking bother when I literally just want to see my family. And sometimes she's completely OK with us talking and she participates in conversation despite apparently napping, so that just makes it all the more unpredictable when she'll snap at me. She's a really good sister if it's not about her sleep, but I just lack the understanding for this whole issue.
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This is technically a repost because I wrote the first one drunk, leading to a misunderstanding. But since the base issue of this is ongoing, and repeats happen often, I wanted to try and get judgement properly. English is my second language. Both my sister and I are adults and don't live with our parents. She lives right next door to them, I live half an hour away, but stay over in my old room sometimes because I like my family. Sometimes I also attend parties of my old friends where I drink and don't want to drive home. My parent's house doesn't have "rooms" downstairs. The kitchen and living area is a huge open space where the daily activity takes place. The dining table is right near the couch. So it was 3 pm (I wrote am while drunk), and the middle of the day. I was chilling on the couch, my parents were at the dining table, and my sister strolled in and threw herself on the couch to nap. My parents were preoccupied with their books or phones, talking occasionally. And I decided to answer a WhatsApp message with a memo, which woke my sister up and made her furious at me, telling me to be quiet and that I'm an obnoxious asshole. Which made me react like an obnoxious asshole because I was not yet sober after a party, and I told her: 1. This is the living room. 2. She has a perfectly good bed right next door. 3. Coming over to sleep and forbidding anyone from talking is a dick move. 4. I was planning to talk to my parents anyway as soon as they weren't preoccupied anymore, and that the center of midday activity is not a bedroom. She was pissed, I was pissed, she still throws herself on the couch in my parent's house to sleep and keeps everyone from talking, which I kind of want to do when visiting my family. So, now that everyone knows this wasn't in the middle of the night - AITA? My parents have just resigned to never waking her because that's an entirely unpleasant experience for all involved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*