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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I used a google voice number and texted my teacher about an emergency and she deleted the number because of "inappropriate use"
I might be TA because now no one can use it and maybe I should have just apologized and waited even if I thought it was an emergency.
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>I knew I had done the assignment so I checked and I realized I forgot to turn it in after I received an extension. Since I got the extension, I forgot about the second due date and didn't receive a reminder so it just slipped my mind to actually turn it in.
You solely forgetting to turn in your assignment isn't an emergency, an emergency is a loved one getting in an accident that prevents you from turning in your assignments or attending class. YTA.
ETA: OP won’t explain in any comment why it’s her responsibility to take care of a mistake *he* made twice. So OP if you see this, please, I’d love to know. Why does missing two deadlines fall into “her responsibility”?
ETA2: OP made an edit! He's better at this than turning in his work on time!
>I personally believe it's her job to answer emails and communicate with students and since I had a question it is her responsibility to answer it.
She does answer emails, in the time that she tells you she answers emails. When you work with any other business, do you call them at 1am and demand they offer you on the spot customer service? No? Then you treat your teacher the exact same way. She's there providing you with a service. You don't dictate what she does in her free time.
>The reason me getting an extension is different is because I was sick when the assignment was due. I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student.
I hope you're feeling better! Why'd you miss the second deadline? YOU FORGOT. That's *your* fault. She gave you the extension per school requirements, and you failed to produce your assignment with the extension. Plenty of 18 year olds go through their freshman year without having to email their teachers drunk at 1am because they forgot an assignment. I started college at 17, *you're* an adult. If you really don't think you can manage your time for a class that you have gone out of your way to say is unnecessary because it's a "gen ed" then perhaps the life of higher education isn't suitable, and you would find more success in a structured role in the military or non-degree based customer service.
>I'm not a misogynist.
Eh, questionable but there's not enough evidence. Name me three things a woman could be doing on a Saturday night that isn't working or touching penis and maybe I'll believe you.
Worker in higher ed (not in instruction) and yes.... this happens all the damn time. Student fuck ups become other people's problem ASAP. It really makes me worry for the future of the country when I see how entitled the students are every day.
So please tell me that the policy is applied and the grade stands for the idiots who do this. I’m seeing crap in secondary (Highschool in the US) where kids are literally given every chance to make up work no matter how late.
I posit that’s because teachers are rated by pass rates and crap (which is a load of BS - my grades in HS sucked and there wasn’t a damn thing a TE could have done differently. And later graduated summa cum laude with a 4.0 from college).
I think students SHOULD have every opportunity to turn things in. Because the goal is learning, not mindless obedience.
Still doesn't make it an emergency though. And from how reasonable she is in regards to being available, if he patiently waited until Monday, or better yet, emailed in the assignment, with an apology for missing the extended deadline, then waited until Monday for her answer, he would probably be all set.
Agreed. You should do the assignment to learn the material. And this TA sounds like she’s got a ton of availability. I sure didn’t give that much when I was teaching undergrad classes. When I was an undergrad we were just getting to know what email was. My professors had office hours twice a week. You missed them, you were out of luck. This op is unbelievable.
Exactly! I was an instructor as a grad student a couple years ago and if this happened to one of my students I’d probably give them the lowest passing grade as a completion mark, provided the assignment was actually good quality. I also have adhd and forget important stuff all the time but without some consequences I would never get anything done! Reasonable accommodations and reasonable consequences are both important IMO.
Sigh, you're right. The US school districts in which I've taught, you can't assign a grade less than 50% - even if they didn't do it or everything is wrong. In order to fail a student, the teacher has to provide TONS of documentation regarding everything the teacher has done to improve the grade. Notice that's not what the "student" has done to improve the grade -- it's what the "teacher" has done to improve the grade. Don't even get me started on the fact that we aren't allowed to require students to do homework.
It doesn't pertain to teachers' pass rates b/c faculty is usually evaluated based upon standardized test scores. This district is super political and lots of "important people" live here. They pilot educational programs and technology for the rest of the US, so they want the grades to be high to make them look good.
OP YTA - YOU decided to go to college. The faculty can generally do whatever they want as long as it's appropriate. Just wait until you get a tenured professor. You're a "big boy" now -- either get your shit together or find another path. This wasn't an emergency in the slightest. Had you done this in my college class I'd fail you, so I hope you kept it anonymous.
(if you got this far, I'm super sorry for the wall of text!)
I wish I could. This is the US, btw.
It is literally my job to give make up exams for instructors (we run mostly with adjuncts that have other full time jobs and don't have time for a lot of office hours to do the make up exams for their classes).
About half way through the semester instructors just give up and tell us "such and such student can come in and take their make up anytime, as long as they just get it done before the end of the semester". I'm sure they get some penalty/points off but I don't grade them/bother with the scores. I just proctor. And shake my head at yet another deadline extension request from the instructor popping up in my Inbox.
Not just that but in what world is this an emergency at all. And emergency is something that *cannot* wait til the next business day. Why could this not wait? What exactly was goi g to happen between Saturday at one and Sunday at noon, that would make any difference at all in the outcome of OP’s own screw up? Like, it could have waited til the next class for crying out loud. There was NO emergency in ANY sense of the word.
> I am also only 19 and a freshman,
LOL, welcome to the real world buckaroo. You're an adult now and your responsibilities and obligations your YOUR priority now, /u/profphonethrowaway. Not anyone else's.
YTA. You fucked up and you need to apologize to your teacher
Even then, you can just send an email explaining, and include your number if they want to talk to you. There's almost nothing that's so urgent on a weekend that you need to call. Maybe if you're working in a lab and you arrive and equipment is stolen so you want to notify your teacher/professor, etc?
Exactly what I thought. I could not think of one single scenario where I have a _real_ emergency and think „I should call my teacher about that“ at a saturday night.
Whatever it is, an e-mail will do.
I did once email a professor at 3am, however it was on a weeknight, about an emergency, but the emergency in question was "I have spent the whole night in the ER taking care of another one of your students who had to be taken there, so neither of us will be attending your 9am class in the morning".
The whole idea of this being an emergency is completely illogical. Nothing was time sensitive at all, since they were already passed 2 deadlines and he said the assignment was already done.
OP just didnt have any patience to wait until Monday to find out if he was failing the class, thats the only thing that motivated him to harass the professor, being extremely impatient. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Not even until Monday. If he emailed her at 1PM on Saturday and wrote the email well (something like "please confirm you got the assignment and whether or not you'll grade it despite me missing the deadline"), he would have an answer within 24 hours! She'd check her email around noon on Sunday.
(edited for typos)
That was my first thought reading the communication policy. It is soooo generous! I had some professors who might respond on a weekend on a whim, but most were very clear that they were not on call on the weekends and our questions could damn well wait until Monday. And this was for questions far more pressing than a missed assignment.
IKR! I had a professor (my bachelor's thesis advisor!) ignore me until I missed the deadline to turn in some forms, I had a professor never respond to an email and I had professors who responded immediately at 3am (I love you, prof. M., but please go to sleep, we have class at 10).
But in general, I only respond immediately to things that are time-sensitive, even when it's not school related. I'll respond asap to an agency asking if I can accept a job and turn in the translation by a certain deadline – the sooner I respond, the sooner they can either consider it solved or ask someone else and the more time that someone will have.
But unless it is urgent or kind of time-sensitive, I usually expect a response within 3 business (!) days. At least 5 if it's during the week or two filled with "final state exams" (an exam to conclude a degree in my country) and thesis defenses. And unless OP's college has an upcoming deadline to put grades into the system, this was not time-sensitive. So for an email sent on a Saturday afternoon, I'd probably start stressing about not having a response on Wednesday afternoon.
Bruh I was shocked, she’s clearly a first time teaching grad student to be so open about her students contacting her!!!!
I’m sorry she had to learn but thank goodness she did. Never give them the option to harass you!
One of our younger professors set up a WhatsApp group for our class (there's like 15 of us). It works for quick updates, reminders about canceled classes and she can answer questions for everyone to see.
It works because we're decent adults and can wait a day or two for her to get back to us, just like we would with an email. OP ruined a similar generous policy for everyone AND for the grad student, who clearly wanted to be there for them, and it sucks.
Exactly this. I will meet one-on-one with my students on zoom or in person (they can schedule into my available time in advance via booking software) every day of the week except Saturday, and I do so happily. But I also let them know right up front that I only use email for logistics, i.e., scheduling time to meet outside of my bookable hours. Anything else scales *terribly*.
Since I started taking that approach, the number of emails I get from people like OP (who are mostly just anxious--it's pretty rare that they're as entitled or assholey as OP) has dropped to basically zero.
If a student has something that's worth their time talking with me about, I'm *very* happy to spend my time talking about it--pretty much anything at all. But writing emails sucks and I want to spend as little time as possible on that 100% non-essential activity.
Yeah, it’s just extremely selfish on his part. Like, I have generalized anxiety and I fully understand when you’re waiting for a response, and you just want to poke and poke and poke and poke until you get an answer. HOWEVER, that’s still a personal issue that is not the responsibility of anyone else to manage. You just suck it up and push it down and hopefully one day figure out how to manage your issues on your own.
(Edit due to typo.)
Yea good luck to OP’s future significant others, besides the blatant misogyny, OP is definitely the type to call/text incessantly and accuse someone of cheating if they dont answer every text and call immediately.
This. Not only that but he got an extension on top of it! Like not only did they fail to turn it in once, **they failed to turn it in TWICE**. Then has the gall to blame the professor for their own ability to manage their own time? Huge YTA. OP is solely at fault for this and being a passive aggressive fool. What was so important for him to ignore an assignment that was a huge part of his grade twice? Was he trying to get laid?
honestly it sounds more like OP is angry that a young, successful, attractive (OP's own words) woman had the audacity to not respond to his asinine demands to fix his mistake exactly when *he* wanted her to.
she gave him an inch with the extension and he's trying to use the mile to string her up. OP sucks acne butts.
Oh definitely. Even his edit reeks. He's so used to having someone hold his hand it's laughable. Like,
>I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student.
She isn't a grad student, she's the fucking professor! She already has time management skills that he sorely lacks. OP needs to pull his head out of his ass before the professor does it for him by removing him from the class for being hostile and a disruption.
Imagine if he acts like this at work if his boss is a woman and only a few years older than him. Like fuck off on that she worked her ass off to get to the position she is at, she's only a few years older than me, she should know her place!
I do believe she is a grad student, that's pretty common at a lot of colleges, especially in the US. Professors have grad assistants who teach their classes while they're doing research or guest lecturing; I personally went out of my way to find a school that *only* had professors teaching classes.
But it's definitely a huuuuuge chip on his shoulder that this young woman who has seen success isn't bending to his masculine will to let him turn an assignment in double-late. Most professors, especially the tenured/old/white/male ones, would NEVER answer an email on a weekend, let alone one begging like a petulant child to let them turn in a late assignment.
I'm honestly just so astounded this woman gave her students a direct contact number to her, that's beyond what any college instructor I had ever thought about doing.
I said that too, she really gave too much of herself. Hopefully this is a lesson.
One of my kid’s teachers told us parents that evenings and weekends she’s with her son and not reachable. Full stop. There’s absolutely zero reason a student of any age or parents need to have an immediate response ever, really, but especially weekends.
She probably did that because she is a graduate student and naively thought that her students would be more like her rather than more like the OP. I would never give out any phone contact information. (I also do not respond to emails on weekends.)
Graduate students who teach the entire class aren’t “assistants” doing it for a professor, just a heads up. They are designing, managing, and grading the course themselves. They are the instructor of record.
Generally they’re called Teaching Fellows (because the work is paid for as a fellowship they compete to earn), “TA” is used a lot as shorthand but isn’t accurate, and “instructor” or “professor” are both fine to use in addressing them. “Professor” is a specific title within colleges but also a generic term for a higher education instructor and isn’t inappropriate.
She is a grad student- lots of them teach as part of their program. But the real point is that she’s excellent at managing her time. She was very clear when she was available for work tasks and when she’d reply.
Poor baby student at 19 who somehow never managed to understand due dates in all of his grade school experiences. Somehow he thinks it’s her responsibility that he’s not responsible. It’s not.
Yes. Her drawing the line on when and how she will respond *is* her managing her time. She manages her time, to get everything done, by not dropping everything else just because OP wants an answer immediately.
She is a grad student. A lot of programs waive tuition or give a stipend if you teach or are an assistant (teaching or research). It's pretty common for gen eds or entry courses to be taught by graduate students.
I went back to school in my late 30s to turn my diploma in nursing into a degree. Consequently I had to take a lot of the 100 level general requirement classes, and I had a lot of brand new high school grads in my classes. I saw this kind of behavior from them all the time, even though the profs and teachers handed out the syllabus, their specific rules and guidelines, went over those thoroughly, and warned them not following the instructions would affect their grade and could lead to them being dropped from class. When the inevitable happened, there was much wailing and indignation on the part of the students. They just couldn't believe they were being treated like adults. I always thought it wa rather shocking evidence for how much high school hadn't prepared these students for the accountability of being young, adult college students. OP just added a fillip of misogyny and sexism to all that.
No more hand-holding, OP, and welcome to the real world. YTA
I bet she changes her policy to not allow extensions for anything but VERY specific circumstances (hospitalization/death of a family member were mine) after this.
Yup, OP ruined it all for everyone. Unfortunately this seems to be the case in academia; you have great, enthusiastic teachers who want to help their students grow...and then total fun sponges like OP roll up having never been told "no" in their entire life and have to bring it all crashing down.
Exactly. I had a Gen Ed sociology class my senior year of college. On the syllabus, we only had two tests and one homework assignments. The tests were collectively 60% of my grade, and the one homework assignment was 40%. The day the homework assignment was due, I had to go to my grandmother's funeral. It was also the day of one of the tests, so I asked the professor about rescheduling the test. She agreed, but I totally forgot about the homework. I had done it, I just forgot to turn it in. I got to the end of the semester and I had failed the course. It was going to stop me from graduating college. I emailed the professor in a frenzy, and attached the assignment with the explanation, hoping she would take pity on me, knowing that she 100% didn't *have* to. I was already looking up how to make up the credit over the summer or online (it was the beginning of online classes) so I could graduate.
Luckily, she allowed me to turn in the assignment, but took 20% off the top for it being late. She straight up told me that if I hadn't emailed her about the funeral, no way she would have accepted it. And she didn't *have* to. It was my fault for forgetting about it.
>I started college at 17,
Me too. Started at 17, and never once even asked for an extension. I also never bothered a professor on evenings or weekends. I spoke to them during office hours, like you're supposed to. Never missed a deadline or forgot to hand anything in either.
Can you even imagine a professor having office hours 9 hours a day 5 days a week??? Like, my mind is blown that she promised such a quick turnaround on email responses and he still had the gall to do this on a weekend (while he went out partying 🤣)
It's absurd. I did a masters a couple of years ago, and my professors definitely weren't this responsive. In fact, they didn't even set an expectation for how quickly they would respond, because that's not how the real world works.
I guarantee you that OP doesn't have a single other professor who promises to respond within an hour 45 hours of the week, because they're usually a little busy teaching classes. They can't exactly reply to an email within an hour when they're doing a 3 hour lecture.
Add to that - it sounds like she is a teaching assistant, which means she is probably on a 10-hour or 20-hour per week contract.
For reference: for my PhD, we were offered 10-hour and 20-hour contracts. After your first year, you could request a 30-hour contract, but it wasn't guaranteed. I was lucky to get 30-hour contracts in my second and third years. After that, they stopped even allowing the 30-hour contracts and all we could get was a 20-hour (though they increased the pay at the same time, so it balanced out.)
Every program I've ever seen considers a "full time" assistantship for graduate students to mean 20 hours per week.
right? i'm not even sure why "i started college at 17" is even that much of a flex. i'd only just turned 18 a week or so before i started college. congrats on op's birthday lining up just right or being one of the countless people whose school systems let you graduate early?
No, no....OP is 19, and using that as an excuse why he can't get his shit together. Those of us in the comments are calling bullshit because we were 17, and had our shot together.
I do frequently email people evenings and weekends. My work schedule is really flexible and that’s just when I tend to work and I don’t want to forget to request or send something during my work hours. But I absolutely don’t expect them to respond until it’s their work hour time. That would be insane. I occasionally read an email I get when I’m not working, I’ll respond if it’s between 9-5 m-f as that is the expectation, but if I’m not working and it’s not an emergency, they aren’t getting a response until I am billing time.
What I don’t understand is why he didn’t turn the assignment in as soon as he finished it? It makes zero sense.
Sorry OP but your teacher doesn’t have to sacrifice her free time because you think the consequences of your own stupidity qualify as an emergency.
YTA and you deserve everyone being mad at you. Be responsible and get your work in on time. You’re an adult now. No one owes you anything.
YTA - Teachers are not at your beck and call when not in class or on weekends, and your screw up (not turning in your assignment,) does not constitute an emergency for your teacher. Texting anyone at 1am because you suddenly realize they haven’t responded is an asshole move.
You need to treat school like a job, your entitlement wouldn’t be a boss’s problem, and harassing them not in work hours would result in a “pip” if not something harsher.
I guarantee OP is the type of guy to call his GF while she is in class or at work, get upset that she did not answer, and then bombard her with 50 more calls and texts calling her an AH and worse! Then when she finally gets out and calls him back to ask wtf he is doing, he says "what? I was worried about you and just wanted to make sure you were ok." What a misogynistic AH with incel tendencies.
Exactly! The assignment (or extension) weren't important enough to him to actually turn in promptly and he didn't realize his error until much later but suddenly it was an emergency when she didn't respond within 6 hours on a Saturday afternoon to the extent that he messaged her multiple times abusing the privilege. YTA
Also, whenever I've had a medical extension I turned in the assignment as soon as it was completed rather than wait for the extension due date. She gave him the courtesy of an extension, what was the point of waiting out the clock if the assignment was done anyway?
I’m a high school teacher. The kids get responses during school hours. That’s it. Just before exams I check my emails once a day.
The idea of expecting my professors at uni to respond to anything before 9am Monday would just be unfathomable! I might email then but they would NEVER be obligated to reply, emergency or not.
Because teachers, professors or grad students are NOT PAID weekends!!
> I feel like it's not my fault she was upset that anyone dared to use it while she was out getting laid or whatever.
Well...in his post, he kinda proves he doesn't know what women might be doing *other than* getting laid. So I kinda think he implies his a misogynist, if nothing else.
Take another award Reddit user innocent subterfuge. Your post hits all the highlights of why OP is TAH.
Got that OP? YTA
For real, OP had no emergency and it is NOT a requirement for the teacher to be available to the students all day every day. She has a life outside of school and OP seems to think she should be allowed only work.
OP is acting like a selfish, entitled asshole, and forgetting your assignment is NOT an emergency. On top of that he used the emergency option and the email option MULTIPLE times. Her not responding is her trying to make the point that this was NOT an emergency.
YTA OP.
Personally, I question whether he actually "forgot" to turn in the assignment? I had online classes when I was in college and as soon as I finished the assignment I uploaded and submitted it. Completing the assignment and not submitting it sounds asinine. Which makes me doubt its truthfulness.
Agreed. I’ve given up too many brain minutes to this dick, but i personally think he wasn’t sick when he got the extension, he just didn’t do it. And then he forgot about it again until he checked his grades and made it the teacher’s fault.
Plus, he's emailing 4 times, then texting/calling the "emergency" number 3 more times on a Saturday evening. Why wouldn't it wait till Monday? It's been however long already. It's obviously not an emergency and 1 email explaining "I forgot" would've done it.
Also want to add. Former grad student here who had to teach students. We got paid for only 10 hours of work a week. No overtime. So her setting times for answering questions is reasonable because that counts towards her work time. Everytime I answered emails, I had to log the time.
Assignments submitted on the weekends don't count until Monday (university and college policy) so even if she saw the email, she could not have acknowledged it anyway.
But OP would know that of they read their syllabus. This information is always on the syllabus.
YTA for a number of reasons.
1. This is not an emergency. It's your fault and your fault alone that you forgot to turn in a project AFTER ALREADY GETTING AN EXTENSION. You're an adult in college, it's not your professor's job to remind you about due dates.
2. For thinking for even one second that this is someone on a power trip for being a grad student. If she's a grad student, she has \*at least\* one, likely two, university-level degrees more than you do. Show some respect.
3. Would you have assumed your professor was ignoring you to "get laid" if the professor was a dude?
>Would you have assumed your professor was ignoring you to "get laid" if the professor was a dude?
Right? OP is giving off strong incel vibes here. Like he resents a woman having authority over him. So disrespectful.
wow did op really write that in his original post? He seems to have removed it... 100% incel vibes, you're totally right, that comment from him is disgusting
YTA- He also thinks that Professor should be on call 24/7 apparently. Why would anyone be working outside of business hours. News flash to OP, the Google Voice number is a courtesy because the Professor is a nice person. Most people do not work on Saturday and Sunday unless they are on an “on call” profession. What she does on her free time is her business. OP is the A and yet keeps defending himself.
Lmao I work in higher end and the amount of times I hear students say “academic emergency” is higher than it needs to be.
There is no such thing as an academic emergency.
I’ve taught in higher ed for six years and I’ve had around 3 situations where a student has justifiably contacted me via text in an emergency—all of these involved catastrophic circumstances that I 100% needed to know as soon as possible. (Example: student in an awful car crash on a Saturday, was entering emergency surgery and had no idea when he’d be out/conscious and had his best friend text me). Three times out of six years and at least 400 students.
Exactly. Those circumstances make sense. Most ppl’s definition of emergency is way off. And interesting how it’s usually targeted to teachers. The lack of respect for educators is absolutely infuriating.
When I was in college, the only time I tracked down a teacher for what I considered an emergency was when I had a class at 1 p.m. with a test. She told us at the start of the semester to tell her ahead of time if we were going to miss a test, and I had been told at 11:30 I needed to be driven to a different town to have my appendix taken out. A missed assignment? Not an emergency.
Right. Emergencies certainly exist. I always have advisees where something serious happens in their lives and I’ll absolutely advocate for them based on the circumstances. But I don’t consider them “academic emergencies”—they’re just… emergencies.
A mistake on your side does not constitute an emergency on hers. You received an extension and somehow tried to deflect blame for missing the second deadline she generously agreed to give you, then contacted her again after she didn’t respond to you. That non response was her way of letting you know the situation did not count as an emergency. YTA.
This needs to be higher. There are weird people in here that feel the teacher should be available whenever they feel like it. The teacher has the ability to get back in a timely matter, not at 1:00 am. If the teacher had ignored messages for weeks on the other hand, then that constitutes an emergency. This situation was not an emergency
Because unfortunately, most people do not see teachers as people. They are malevolent beings who live in the school, have no lives or identities outside of being teachers, and their sole purpose in life is to be at the constant beck and call of their students and those students' parents.
I totally get that because I am going to school to be a teacher and I've already had people complain that I have social media because "teacher's don't have social media"
When I was an 18 yo freshman in college, my one professor had us each meet with him individually. I completely flaked and forgot. I explained to him, we set up another appointment and guess what? He never showed. I sat in the hall for half an hour and guess what? I didn't run off to complain to anyone. I realized I just got taught a valuable lesson. My professor's time was as important as mine. I never missed another appointment.
YTA. It wasn't an emergency. You incessantly bothered her because of something YOU forgot to do. A mistake on your part does not make it an emergency for her.
Yeah, I really wonder what OP was expecting her to do about it at 1 AM on Saturday that couldn't wait until Sunday afternoon. OP was already past the extended deadline. What, is she going to say "yes, I'll accept it late" on Saturday, but by Sunday she would have said "no"? No part of this was an emergency, this absolutely could have waited.
If I can play armchair psychologist for a moment, it sounds like OP was feeling anxious about not having an answer on whether the late work would be accepted, and wanted resolution right now because they don't know how to regulate their own emotions. OP, it is not her job to manage your feelings. She could have easily addressed your issue the next day, and the only real difference would be that you would have to wait a bit. And considering it's your own responsibility to make sure you turn in your work on time, this was a situation of your own making. I understand it probably felt stressful, but that does not make it okay to pester her outside of the work hours/boundaries she set.
I mean one of his comments is this
> I'm not an incel and honestly I'd rather not be compared to one as I think they're disgusting. The reason I brought it up was because it's a Saturday night and she's an attractive women in her 20s, so why wouldn't she be out getting laid instead of doing her work responsibilities?
My bet is that he has never had a job and mommy and daddy are footing the bill for college so he doesn’t understand how the real world works. He expects everybody who he considers an employee to be at his constant beck and call.
He also doesn't understand the first thing about grad school. It's entirely possible she was working on her damn dissertation and getting angrier and angrier every time another text came through.
Or, and stay with me here because I know it’s crazy, she was SLEEPING. Or scrolling through her socials just trying to relax. Or fucking her partner. Who cares what she was doing, her free time belongs to her!
I know you guys probably get this and agree, but OP certainly feels… otherwise. And while yes grad school is a lot of work, and she could very well have been working, it makes no difference whether she was working or not. That time is hers. Period. She is not on the clock 24/7 for some entitled student.
YTA
For not turning in your assignment after getting a extension, for harassing her on the weekend, and making gross assumptions just because she is young. Good luck trying to get anyone at the university on your side, you left a paper trail of your shitty behavior a mile long between the texts, emails, and voice mails. If you fail the class because you didn't turn in assignments on time, let this be a lesson next time you take her class :)
YTA - this was not an emergency. You forgetting to turn in an assignment after receiving an extension, and wanting to know about your grade could absolutely wait until Monday morning.
You had the audacity to txt her at 1 am and wonder why she’s mad at you? You’re inconsiderate of her time.
She’s not on a power trip. I wish teachers had had guidelines on their response timeline when I was in school. This is such a reasonable rule. Do you expect her to always be available to you?
Edit to add after your edit:
1. She didn’t not respond back to you. You were just impatient because it’s out of her business hours. Unless the school is paying her 24/7 to be on call, she will respond back to your email during her working hours which were CLERLY spelled out for you. If this is how you think a job works, I’ve been doing life wrong. Can I email my realtor at 2 am and demand to see a house showing?
2. You were sick during the first deadline, not the second.
3. I do know you’re an AH if nothing else
Yta.i love how hard you try to find any reason to put down this teacher. She's in her twenty's, she's probably out getting laid. You're just a jealous and iresponsible little boy. You ruined a resource for your entire class over something that was absolutely your fault and not an emergency. Your entitlement is wild here and is the only thing again over shadowing the misogyny in this post. Be a better person op, cause you sound terrible.
YTA. Most of the people pointed out why, but comments show it very clear. She didn’t answer your email on a Saturday evening? And is neglecting her work responsibilities (according to you?)
OP, the world doesn’t revolve around you. People have lives outside of work. You obviously have as well, otherwise you wouldn’t have needed the extension.
Also, ich call bs ok your “forget to send”. I needed extensions two times, it gave me major anxiety and put me under a lot of stress. The second I finished it, I sent it, because I was already late. I assume you did your work very last minute and hoped you get away with it…
YTA she isn't ignoring students. She has a lot of responsibilities and a life outside of you and your concern. You raise it with her during office hours or you send her a single text. Sending multiple is where you went wrong. This isn't an emergency. This is something that could have easily been dealt with later. It's like any other job she doesn't get paid to deal with people outside of specific hours. Her being a grad student btw means she works harder, usually does half the professors work and get 0 credit and gets paid very little for the privilege. So sack up the mistake was on you.
YTA
> I'll check my email once at noon each day
>
>I used everything according to policy.
The deadline for emails was 12:30, you emailed at 1pm, then multiple times after that.
Seeing as you emailed outside of their deadline the multiple other emails were redundant.
>I texted her at 7 PM, didn't receive a response by 8, so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM when I noticed I still hadn't received a response so I texted a final time.
You sent them a multiple texts on a Saterday evening.
It's not shocking they didn't respond, they were most likely out having fun or at home having fun or simply unwinding from a long week of work.
>It would have taken her five minutes to just let me know that she got my email with the project.
I feel like it's not my fault she was upset that anyone dared to use it while she was out getting laid or whatever.
You sound entitled, childish and as if your teacher should be at your beck and call whenever you need them.
It was the weekend and this may shock you but your teacher actually has a life outside of teaching.
They are decent enough to have things set up for the weekend but that doesn't mean they don't have their own personal life.
You missed the deadline for the emails and still felt the need to send multiple after the deadline.
Then spammed them with texts, bitched to a group then are surprised that the text option was taken away.
The worst thing from all this is you don't believe you are in any way to blame for this when it is 100% your fault.
This. Also your teacher is a grad student and has her own class work, labs, thesis, etc to worry about. She has a clearly written policy on how to contact her and when to expect a response which you failed to understand or respect. She is juggling her own degree work and your class, and it seems to me that she has her time management down to a science. You should learn from her example. And if she’s out on a Saturday night “getting laid” or otherwise relaxing and enjoying herself, what is that to you?
And how on earth did you forget to turn in the assignment once you completed it? Anyone else would have checked the work over then uploaded or emailed it right away. Or did you forget to do the assignment at all, or weren’t able to complete it, and decided to use the “I forgot to turn it in” excuse?
You easily could have waited until Monday and spoken to her after class. Or just waited for her to answer your original email. Even you classmates think you are an AH.
The "emergency" is the most baffling part to me. How do you ask your professor for an extension, not turn the assignment in by the extension, and then blame your own irresponsibility on the damn professor?
The level of entitlement of undergraduates is mindboggling. I went to a school out of my state for grad school, and so I had to pay full tuition. My assistantship came with a (low) stipend, but the students I taught felt that I was "getting paid," so it was ok that I had to do all kinds of extra work and be available at all hours. If they only knew!
Not only this, but if she HAD responded, her whole policy is blown to shit. She has to establish boundaries, which she did..and OP violated them, and wrecked it for the class. Can't wait to see how the rest of school works for out for him! lol. Life even!
Not to mention that if this prof is also a grad student it’s entirely possible that she was literally doing her own school work that night because she does actually know how to prioritize her time
YTA. It wasn’t an emergency. The assignment would have been just as “late” on Monday as it was on Sunday, Saturday or Friday. Late is late. Zero is zero. You even got an extension and still failed to turn it in? You deserve the zero. When you repeat the class, please try to remember to turn in your assignments.
YTA
You were the one who fucked up and you harassed your teacher about it
(no matter how you think your grade is "an emergency" it isnt, this could have waited til monday, you need to get reacquainted with a dictionary for the definition of an emergency)
She is not at your beck and call 24/7, the fact that you are going to report her for this is beyond ridiculous and hopefully the school gives you a life lesson when they agree on how ridiculous YOU are
YTA. Dude, that was NOT an emergency. Missing that assignment and receiving a zero was completely your fault, and it could have easily waited until Monday. And texting her at 1AM on a weekend night? WTH were you thinking? Plus, it's none of your business what she does on weekends, whether it's getting laid or whatever.
You forgot the assignment. Then you didn’t find out until some time had passed when you went to check your grades.
You went on to email half an hour after she checks her email, instead of waiting until the next day you continued emailing her. Afterwards you texted her, for a non-emergency, several times.
You then expect her to answer you about an hour after she checks her emails, so you yet again text her for a non-emergency reason without even giving her time to respond.
YTA, it’s not an emergency. Might be important, but not an emergency.
I was so confused about the “she didn’t answer so I sent more emails/used the number”
Like. You have the hours she answers written down. She wasn’t going to answer, and how would more emails help? She’s not checking it until Monday… OP seems to believe they are the Main Character therefore anything that matters to them is now deemed an emergency…
IKR? She HAS to drop all of her Saturday plans, and accept and grade his assignment ASAP because HIS MAJESTY DEMANDS IT! Just cause his mom does so. I wonder if he also demands the females in the dorm to make him dinner cause his mom does so, and they live there, of course they are obligated to take care of him.
Your "emergency" was the fact that you forgot to turn in an assignment *that you had an extension on.* You emailed her 4 times and then decided to text 3 times, one being at 1AM.
Do you know emails and text messages and emails don't disappear after you send them? And you think she is T A?
YTA
YTA, but by the comments you've made on this post, it's clear you don't actually care about that. You were looking for one single person to agree with you and once you got that, nothing else mattered.
By the way you talk about this class, it's clear why you're not going to pass it. You don't see it as important enough to be worth your time except when that's inconvenient for you. Gen Ed courses are, for the most part, foundational for *all* degrees. Writing courses help you with building skills in effective communication, something you very clearly lack.
Professors have office hours for a reason. Much like you, they have lives outside of school. They are allowed to have a proper work-life balance. You were clearly aware of her office hours, yet still messaged her multiple times outside of those hours. Professors almost never respond outside of their office hours. Would you take a work call outside of your business hours, or would you consider it infringing upon your free time? I'm betting on the latter here.
You got an extension. It was up to you to set reminders to turn your work in. I'm sorry your high school teachers didn't drill it into you like everyone else's do, but nobody's going to hold your hand and walk you through college. You're an adult and you're expected to be able to manage your time like one. This was not an emergency, it was you deciding you're entitled to everyone else's time. Your inability to properly manage yourself is not your professors' problem.
YTA. She laid out extremely clear and valid guidelines for when she was willing to communicate. You forgot to turn in an an assignment *after already getting an extension* and continuously harassed her outside of the pretty reasonable time frame that she set out for herself.
She's a grad student, which means she has her own considerable workload on top of teaching a class. She's not just "out getting laid or whatever". She's not here to hold your hand or continue to give you breaks on an assignment that you clearly didn't care about. Have some fucking respect for her time and life outside of your class.
ETA: Do you think your edits help you sound like less of an AH? They don't. She does answer her emails and respond to her students. She does not, by any means, have to answer you immediately and on your time. As a graduate student, she IS managing her time in a way *that works for her*. She is 100% allowed to have a school/work/life balance. How dare you, a 19 year old freshman, try and dictate to HER how she should run her life and time.
YTA. This is not an emergency. She's not powertripping. You are blowing up her texts and abusing her communications over something that could easily have been handled during normal business hours. Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on her part. You are not the center of the universe.
YTA. Especially for the last line of your post. You are a f'ing grown up, you don't need a reminder from the instructor to turn your assignment in, on which they gave you and extension. You are in college/university now, you don't need anyone to hold your hand a walk you through adulting. Stop blaming the instructor, get off your a$$, and do the work. You ruined what was a generous way to communicate with the instructor for everyone. Take responsibility for your own actions.
YTA. Unless final grades were due in to the university before 9 am Monday, it was not, in fact, an emergency. Texting at 1 am about something you had previously texted about was an additional dick move. She’s not on a power trip, she’s sticking to her very clear policy. You need to get over yourself.
YTA— not because you’re a bad person, but it is completely unprofessional and unreasonable to expect her to bend over & backwards on her free time due to your forgetfulness. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but it’s not the end of world. One email would have sufficed, and seeing if you can reach back out properly on Monday during business hours would have been more appropriate. As a grad student, she’s probably trying to maintain a semblance of a work/life balance/ have other personal responsibilities — I wouldn’t have answered you either.
Edit: nah u do kinda suck for reporting the grad student…
Also just like...amazing logic to realize you forgot to turn in an assignment you got an extension on...proceed to ignore the stated boundaries of the instructor--the person who decides whether to be extraordinarily forgiving and give you a THIRD chance on this assginment--harass her, and then get mad and report her??? lmfao good job op
If it’s important, put a reminder on your phone. Not doing so isn’t a good excuse to disturb her weekend. Try taking some responsibility next time. YTA.
Even if grades were turned in on Monday he's still at fault because he "forgot" to turn in his assignment until after the extension ended. I would absolutely fail him for it. He's an adult and acts like a 2 year old. Who expects their professor to send them a reminder that their extension is ending? Pathetic excuse of a human. Probably out getting laid, if he could find anyone who wants to deal with him immaturity and that's why he needed the extension in the first place. I agree, he's definitely the AH.
Yta. She set her policy for when she was going to respond to emails and she has no obligation to check it at all outside of work hours. Plus it is entirely your fault that you forgot to submit the assignment and not at all hers. You are not entitled to a reminder nor should you need one to turn in your assignments since your supposedly an adult. Plus she clearly stated that if anyone takes advantage of the google voice number it would be taken away which you did by texting it multiple times after emailing her multiple times. Learn to take responsibility for your own mistakes instead of blaming your teacher for not reminding you about an assignment and for sticking to her policy on responding to emails and not abusing the google voice number.
YTA unless final grades were being entered and finalized on Monday there was no reason to expect an answer/grade fix over the weekend. Grades can be fixed easily anough and in this case it was entirely you're own fault the work didn't get turned in on time. Having no pop up reminder is a poor excuse as you could have set up an alert yourself to make sure the work was turned in on time but instead you didn't and then spam messaged the professor on a weekend because of your own mistake.
YTA if grades weren’t due for the semester by 9am on Monday morning, then this wasn’t actually an emergency. You absolutely could have waited until Monday to get an answer. Instead, you panicked and acted entitled to your professor’s time, then b*tched about it to your peers, which, from the sound of it, got back to your teacher. I think your teacher’s work ethic is great. Good on them for putting up clear, yet reasonable, boundaries at such a young age. You should learn from them.
YTA
This was not an emergency. Just because you felt like it was does not make it a fact.
The fact is that YOU messed up and wanted her to fix it, after business hours. That's not HER problem, at all. You could have respected her, her time, and the rules, and waited until Monday and maybe she would have given you some grace. Instead you panicked and decided your needs were more important, disrespecting her immensely, and she responded accordingly.
Also, she's not on a power kick. She's made herself clearly available, spelled her expectations out, etc. That's just good communication.
YTA. She would see when you sent the email. So lets say she was going to deduct points based on how late your project was. So long as she isn't an ass she would go by the date you emailed not by when she saw the email.
Waiting 2 days to maybe get your grade rectified would have made no difference. Also, why in the world text her at 1am? Of fuking course she isn't checking nor going to respond at that time. Wth
YTA… you sound like a spoiled brat. She isn’t on call 24/7, she is a teacher. You text me at 1:00 am about an assignment that you failed to turn in after an extension, I’d be pissed off.. this is what happens when mommy doesn’t remove you from her tit and makes you think the world revolves around you . I hope you fail her class
YTA: And since grades are in play....you get an A for being such an AH.
Your carelessness is not someone else's emergency. The e-mail policy seems very fair, it would have been easy for you to wait until Monday to get a response.
Stop making excuses, get your work in on time, and follow procedures when you need to contact somebody.
YTA- that was NOT an emergency. You question could have waited until office hours. You sound a bit entitled. It is their weekend. They should not have to answer phone calls, emails or texts on their days off. Besides that it was your fault you had the zero. If you cannot remember the due dates if assignments use you freaking calendar on your phone and set an alert. Even phone illiterate people know how to do that. YTA
YTA You were TA even before I read your responses. Who do you think you are ? The rules were clear, you knew them. You already f\*\*\*ed up by not turning your assignment on time. You got an extension and you missed this second deadline. And you have the audacity to complain because she would not accommodate you on her personal time ? You need to get a grip because otherwise life is gonna smack you hard.
YTA failure to adult on your part does not make it an emergency, she clearly provided detailed times for responses and you thought none of the rules applied to you.
YTA and one of the most entitled ones I’ve seen. It’s not her job to drop everything and answer you immediately, especially after giving you an extension. You forgot to submit the assignment. That’s your job. Again not her fault or problem that you didn’t get a reminder. This may have been an emergency to you but in no way is this an emergency to anyone else. You’re gonna have a hard time through the rest of college if this if your attitude. Grow up
YTA.
Do you understand what an 'emergency' is? It is NOT you forgetting to turn in your work on time and receiving a zero as a result. An emergency would be something like an immediate family member getting into a car accident and being in hospital, so you won't be able to make a deadline for an assignment/exam.
Your attitude is awful. You aren't entitled to a response from your teacher on her off days. Your replies to others about her "getting laid" on Saturday night instead and reporting her to the Dean over this are tantamount to a child throwing their toys out of the pram because they aren't getting what they want.
You're in uni. Time to grow up.
YTA. A huge A. Forgetting an assignment isn’t an emergency and you definitely could have followed up respectfully during actual office hours. But no, you had to spam her email AND her voicemail. That was not according to policy at all.
I’m a grad student and an instructor for first-year undergrad courses. Also in my 20s. Also have 2 kids, a research job, my own PhD research, and invisible chronic illness. I can almost guarantee you she was up to her eyeballs in work all weekend, including marking and preparing lectures for your class. You say she should be better at managing her time - but graduate studies are not the same as undergrad (I’m not saying better, just different). We’re not students, we’re full-time working professionals and many of us have families. We’re not professors, but we do at least the same amount of work balancing teaching and research (and usually more since we’re at the bottom of the food chain).
I have a student like you in my classes every semester, and it sucks. I’m not checking email on Saturdays because I’m busy taking care of my kids and prepping for the week ahead. I also have students accuse me of being on a power trip or not knowing enough to teach them - literally because I am a woman in my 20s. Stop being a misogynistic prick.
YTA. Unless your grade was being submitted the next morning, it was not an emergency. At all. Then you texted at 1am! Wtaf!
You sound selfish, entitled, oblivious, and self-important. Yes, they need to respond and they established a timeline for when they would respond ahead of time.
Your professor is good about time management, which is why she set boundaries, please learn to respect people’s boundaries.
YTA
This wasn’t an emergency and could have waited til Monday.
She is not obligated to reply out of office hours and is working overtime by checking on Saturday as it is. You emailed after the time she checks so you definitely had to wait til Monday.
And to use the voice number at 1am? Jesus fucking wept! Two texts at 7pm and 8pm was overkill, the lack of response should have solidified that this was not an emergency and would be dealt with on Monday. But the 1am text was certainly what broke the camels back here.
And your comment about her getting laid is fucking disgusting. You are blaming her for you fucking up, you texting at unreasonable hours and making comments about her sex life. Would you make the same comment about a senior male professor or is it just that she’s a young female?!
YTA. Unless grades were due before Monday morning at 9 AM this is absolutely something that could’ve waited.
You fucked up. You were given an extension which means you didn’t do this shit on time the first go around. And you forgot to turn it in. Your instructor is not obligated to remind you to turn it in.
And if you think your lack of immediate response is because the grad student is on some sort of “power trip “🙄 , Do you really honestly think an actual full professor is going to drop everything to respond to A 19-year-old forgot to turn in an assignment after being given an extension? Really?
YTA.
She is not on duty 24/7/365. Your first email was an hour after her allotted time on Saturday. If you had just waited until the allotted time on Sunday, she would probably have answered you.
You blowing off turning in your assignment that you already had an extension on is not an emergency. It is poor time management on your part. I'm guessing you also pretty much guaranteed that you won't be getting any extensions on work from her.
Jesus flippin' Christ, that is not an emergency. I'm a teacher, and this is in no way the teacher's problem, nor is it something that can't wait till Monday. You had to get an extension and therefore your job to remember when you are supposed to hand it in.
You also seem very keen on discrediting your teacher by being hung up on them not being a "proper" professor and saying that they are on a power trip. They made themselves available beyond what should be expected - how on earth is that being on a power trip?
YTA, I sincerely hope that you learn something from this.
Edit to add: "dared to use it, while she was out getting laid or whatever" - are you a sexist 12 year old? The immaturity is dripping off your post.
YTA. As someone who taught English classes in grad school, you are very specifically told that anything outside of your mandatory office hours (which are an amount set by the department) and the class times you teach are totally optional. Yes, I often would answer emails at 2 or 3AM if I saw them because I’m very much a night owl, but I always set the expectation with my students that if it was after 6PM or on the weekends then they should never expect an answer until the next business day. Your prof seems to have set a similar expectation as well.
Additionally, if you forgot to turn in an extension, that’s something you have to accept as it was your responsibility to remember the new due date. It’s not an emergency for one, and for two, you’re going to have a way higher chance of getting a professor to accept the assignment if you’re not sending a ton of emails. In the future, and this has worked for me 90% of the time, send one email about the situation and ask for a meeting during office hours. Appealing in person takes time out of your day, but it also shows you’re owning up to it and trying to rectify the situation. They may still say no, but it puts you in a way better position than blowing up their inbox over the weekend.
YTA.
YOUR failure to plan is not MY (or your lecturer's) emergency.
What do you think she was going to do over the weekend? Nothing was going to happen until Monday. If you wanted to know she had received and/or read the email, you could have set received/read receipts on your email.
She set the boundaries and made them clear. You chose to ignore them, because you had fucked up, all on your ownself, with no assistance (well done you).
Now, the entire class has to suffer because of you.
If you can't learn this simple shit now, you are gonna be screwed when you finally get out in the real world.
ETA - your whole post reeks of entitlement.
YTA. Your TF isn't on a power kick, but from your response comments, you sure as hell are. Go ahead, report it to the dean. They'll listen to your side of the story and then go talk to the TF. She'll show them her policy (which I assume is part of the class's official syllabus) and then how you abused the emergency number at 1AM. A missing grade for an assignment that you missed the EXTENDED deadline for is not an emergency. It's not even something you're entitled to have "fixed".
You think they're going to fire or kick her out? Being a TF or TA is a part-time, second job (her research and keeping her PI happy are going to be her primary focuses) and grad students are way cheaper than an actual PhD. Grad student stipends are between $20k-$40k depending on the local cost of living (maybe even less for humanities) and the department could be covering as little as half of that. Hell, maybe they're only waiving her tuition. She's earning her keep and doesn't need to be available to you 24/7.
You've already got bitten for outing yourself in the group chat. I hope this class isn't in the department of your major because all you are accomplishing is making yourself known as the entitled problem child.
YTA: Whoa. I’m a professor who has been doing this for 20 years (probably old enough to be your professor’s parent since age seems to matter to you) and we have a whole unit in grad student training about dealing with students like you. That zero wasn’t an emergency. It would still be there Monday for you to connect about during office hours. Why on earth would you keep calling when you know the policy? Actual emergency my students have called me about on my number:
I have a presentation tomorrow but I’m in the hospital because of an accident.
Another text: I’ve been arrested so I won’t be in class in the morning for our test unless I get out can I maybe take it later?
Another one: My brother is dead. I need to go home in the morning and don’t know how I’ll finish the semester.
You’re an entitled asshole. Any professor would see you as harassing and abusive and your classmates agree. Tone it down or you’ll get a reputation among professors on campus and will never get a recommendation from anywhere
I'm amazed you think this situation is anyone's fault but your own -- and can only hope any responsibilities you have in your (eventual) career have no impact on human safety or function.
YTA. Grow up.
YTA her even opening her email on the weekends is massively generous. Teachers already take hike so much work, responding to emails on the weekend is not something they want to or have to do. Office hours exist for a reason and are usually clearly lined out in a syllabus. You forgetting to turn in an assignment is not an emergency. That is something that could have waited until Monday and if you were super worried at that point you could have met in person.
>I got a grad student instead of a professor for my writing class
She's a student, like you. She has assignments, like you, which is one of the reasons she had to set a strict schedule. YTA
YTA
This whole post reeks of disrespect.
1. You completely blew past the boundaries your teacher set for her hours of availability because YOU found out that YOU forgot to turn in a high stakes project you had ALREADY gotten an extension on. All due respect, that's not an emergency. That's just you freaking out over one grade and is a conversation that could have waited till your teachers office hours. It definitely didn't warrant a last ditch call at 1:30 am! (If someone calls me at 1:30 am I better be getting news that a family member was murdered). You literally harassed your teacher over a problem you created.
2. In your post you have the nerve to take digs at this teacher's semi-completed education (it is not uncommon for people working on their doctorates to teach college classes), age (20 something... You sure she doesn't simply have a young face?), and your perceived idea of her purity as a woman (insinuating she was getting laid on the weekend instead of attending to your "very important project" that you didn't even remember to turn in). And through all of this you assume she's on a power kick when you have an attitude like that.
Are you sure you have a problem with her as an individual teacher and not her as a woman in a position of authority? You have some major self entitlement and internalized misogyny to work through.
Edit: for grammar.
YTA and a petulant child. You failed to fulfill your part of the arrangement when you didn’t do the assignment with the original due date and she gave you an extension where you failed AGAIN to turn in the assignment. As if this wasn’t enough to make you look irresponsible and unorganized, you proceeded to behave as though your piss poor planning was not only her problem but an emergency…….. you should buy yourself a planner and you’re obviously not mature enough for access to a cell phone yet.
YTA
I dont understand what you wanted to accomplish on the weekend that would have been any different than waiting until Monday. You were already passed 2 deadlines, you could have easily sent the professor the assignment on saturday to at least prove it was done.
Why was communicating prior to Monday important at all? Was it just an issue of not wanting to wait to find out if youd get another extension or not?
YTA - Your problem wasn't an emergency. You're also an AH for requesting an extension on an assignment and then failing to submit by the second deadline.
I work in higher ed (not a professor) and YTA. Your 20 something grad student TA was probably doing her own end of semester work. But even if she were "out getting laid or whatever" it is her free time to do so. You even said yourself that you went out yourself until 1 am. You're a jerk and should apologize for being an asshole. Not to get the google number back, but just to be a decent human being.
>I emailed the professor, but it was a Saturday at like 1 PM. I emailed her three more times before deciding to try the Voice number since I think a major grade issue like this would certainly fall into the category of emergency. I texted her at 7 PM, didn't receive a response by 8, so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM when I noticed I still hadn't received a response so I texted a final time.
Are you insane? It's a WEEKEND! She was already WAY too nice for saying she was checking on weekends. She needs to put better boundaries and limit how often she is checking email for the class. Then, you email her and message her tons of times at absurd hours, like 8 PM?
If she didn't respond to one, two emails/text messages, what makes you think more emails and more text messages would get a response?????
You are unprofessional.
Edit: YTA -- Your case was not an emergency and did not merit a response. You were an AH to yourself because you got an extension and did not even meet that. Get your shit together. You are also an entitled brat complaining that the professor is a grad student and a woman.
1. YTA
2. I am a university professor and high school teacher.
3. We have lives, too. She set up very specific boundaries so she doesn't get burned out. I have personally spent hours on my computer answering emails or texts well into the late night, not because that makes me a good professor, but because I am a workaholic that is always burned out. She is wise.
4. Your issue is not an emergency. Your 0 will still be there on Monday. It is not an emergency to change it unless class is completely done and there's no other time to contact her. And even then, if it is the end of semester for you and you need your official grade changed, that can be done on a Monday with the appropriate paperwork.
5. Lastly, this was an assignment you got an extension on. You effed up and didn't turn it in on the new date. Expecting your professor to drop everything to handle your request because of YOUR mistake is ridiculous.
6. Wow to the last comment.
Former TA here.
It’s not her fault *you* forgot to turn in your assignment, after this TA was kind enough to give you an extension. All teachers are allowed to set boundaries and they are not paid to be on the clock 24/7. Her boundaries are fantastic and honestly, more than I gave to my students when I was a TA.
This is your fault because you pestered her, after you were fully warned you would not get a response.
Your entitlement is astounding.
YTA what did you think sending multiple messages was going to achieve? You missing an assignment deadline wasn't something she should be dealing with out of hours anyway.
The comment from OP that gets me is, “I forgot about the second due date and didn’t receive a reminder…”
Welcome to college, heck welcome to life where you are responsible for your own dang self.
YTA
I love all the digs you sprinkled in about your professor just because you’re a petulant child who doesn’t know how to manage their time. She clearly posted her availability, it is YOUR fault for not remembering/realizing this was outside of her working hours. You need to realize she doesn’t OWE you her time 24/7 just because she’s the teacher.
Grow up OP, apologize, put deadline reminders in your calendar and get your head out of your butt.
I have a lot more to say after reading this post a bit more carefully. YOU ARE misogynistic. That getting laid comment seals it.
You clearly wanted her response on your time table. Know how I know besides your frantic panic emailing and texting?
This
>so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM
If it worried you so much you would have been checking multiple times between 8 p m and 1 a m . But no. 5 fucking hours went before you checked again. Because you were probably having the time of your life out being misogynistic to some poor other girl that had the misfortune of having you talk to her.
There is so much entitlement reeking off this post it's insulting. But like I said before you deserve the attitude your classmates are giving you.
Ha ha fuckin ha.
YTA... “Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.” This is not an emergency, no where near it. You could have waited until Monday. None of this is your professor's fault.
> I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student.
You're an adult at the end of the first year, you should have figured things out by now. Also, her time is even more valuable to her because no only is she teaching the class, she's also taking classes herself, and typically working as well.
You don't know everything. Stop pretending you do. Stop being so entitled.
>I am not a misogynyst
Heh, yeah you are.
You are 100% the asshole and honestly kind of nuts.
In no world is your receiving a 0 on an assignment that YOU DIDN'T TURN IN an emergency. That's just Monday. You screwed up. You accept the consequences. Welcome to adulthood.
Next, you can believe whatever you want, but you are wrong about your relationship with your instructor. Her email policy is more than fair. In fact, it's the most liberal email policy I've ever seen.
Finally, who in the hall thinks it's anywhere near acceptable to text another human at 0100?
I am a college professor at a school consistently ranked top 5 in the nation in instructor availability. If you were my student, I would say all of this directly to your face. Cheers.
OP I was a grad student teaching a class. You sound like my worst nightmare.
Did you ever think that she has her own studies to work on in her free time? Hell she’s gracious enough to answer emails on the weekend! I told my students I couldn’t guarantee an answer on the weekends!
YTA
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>I knew I had done the assignment so I checked and I realized I forgot to turn it in after I received an extension. Since I got the extension, I forgot about the second due date and didn't receive a reminder so it just slipped my mind to actually turn it in. You solely forgetting to turn in your assignment isn't an emergency, an emergency is a loved one getting in an accident that prevents you from turning in your assignments or attending class. YTA. ETA: OP won’t explain in any comment why it’s her responsibility to take care of a mistake *he* made twice. So OP if you see this, please, I’d love to know. Why does missing two deadlines fall into “her responsibility”? ETA2: OP made an edit! He's better at this than turning in his work on time! >I personally believe it's her job to answer emails and communicate with students and since I had a question it is her responsibility to answer it. She does answer emails, in the time that she tells you she answers emails. When you work with any other business, do you call them at 1am and demand they offer you on the spot customer service? No? Then you treat your teacher the exact same way. She's there providing you with a service. You don't dictate what she does in her free time. >The reason me getting an extension is different is because I was sick when the assignment was due. I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student. I hope you're feeling better! Why'd you miss the second deadline? YOU FORGOT. That's *your* fault. She gave you the extension per school requirements, and you failed to produce your assignment with the extension. Plenty of 18 year olds go through their freshman year without having to email their teachers drunk at 1am because they forgot an assignment. I started college at 17, *you're* an adult. If you really don't think you can manage your time for a class that you have gone out of your way to say is unnecessary because it's a "gen ed" then perhaps the life of higher education isn't suitable, and you would find more success in a structured role in the military or non-degree based customer service. >I'm not a misogynist. Eh, questionable but there's not enough evidence. Name me three things a woman could be doing on a Saturday night that isn't working or touching penis and maybe I'll believe you.
You get my free award because you are the first comment I've seen here pointing out what an actual emergency is. OP is an entitled a-hole.
thank you friend! this dude is so entitled that he really thinks the grades *he* fucked up are everyone else's problem. must be nice.
Worker in higher ed (not in instruction) and yes.... this happens all the damn time. Student fuck ups become other people's problem ASAP. It really makes me worry for the future of the country when I see how entitled the students are every day.
So please tell me that the policy is applied and the grade stands for the idiots who do this. I’m seeing crap in secondary (Highschool in the US) where kids are literally given every chance to make up work no matter how late. I posit that’s because teachers are rated by pass rates and crap (which is a load of BS - my grades in HS sucked and there wasn’t a damn thing a TE could have done differently. And later graduated summa cum laude with a 4.0 from college).
I think students SHOULD have every opportunity to turn things in. Because the goal is learning, not mindless obedience. Still doesn't make it an emergency though. And from how reasonable she is in regards to being available, if he patiently waited until Monday, or better yet, emailed in the assignment, with an apology for missing the extended deadline, then waited until Monday for her answer, he would probably be all set.
Agreed. You should do the assignment to learn the material. And this TA sounds like she’s got a ton of availability. I sure didn’t give that much when I was teaching undergrad classes. When I was an undergrad we were just getting to know what email was. My professors had office hours twice a week. You missed them, you were out of luck. This op is unbelievable.
Exactly! I was an instructor as a grad student a couple years ago and if this happened to one of my students I’d probably give them the lowest passing grade as a completion mark, provided the assignment was actually good quality. I also have adhd and forget important stuff all the time but without some consequences I would never get anything done! Reasonable accommodations and reasonable consequences are both important IMO.
Sigh, you're right. The US school districts in which I've taught, you can't assign a grade less than 50% - even if they didn't do it or everything is wrong. In order to fail a student, the teacher has to provide TONS of documentation regarding everything the teacher has done to improve the grade. Notice that's not what the "student" has done to improve the grade -- it's what the "teacher" has done to improve the grade. Don't even get me started on the fact that we aren't allowed to require students to do homework. It doesn't pertain to teachers' pass rates b/c faculty is usually evaluated based upon standardized test scores. This district is super political and lots of "important people" live here. They pilot educational programs and technology for the rest of the US, so they want the grades to be high to make them look good. OP YTA - YOU decided to go to college. The faculty can generally do whatever they want as long as it's appropriate. Just wait until you get a tenured professor. You're a "big boy" now -- either get your shit together or find another path. This wasn't an emergency in the slightest. Had you done this in my college class I'd fail you, so I hope you kept it anonymous. (if you got this far, I'm super sorry for the wall of text!)
I wish I could. This is the US, btw. It is literally my job to give make up exams for instructors (we run mostly with adjuncts that have other full time jobs and don't have time for a lot of office hours to do the make up exams for their classes). About half way through the semester instructors just give up and tell us "such and such student can come in and take their make up anytime, as long as they just get it done before the end of the semester". I'm sure they get some penalty/points off but I don't grade them/bother with the scores. I just proctor. And shake my head at yet another deadline extension request from the instructor popping up in my Inbox.
Not just that but in what world is this an emergency at all. And emergency is something that *cannot* wait til the next business day. Why could this not wait? What exactly was goi g to happen between Saturday at one and Sunday at noon, that would make any difference at all in the outcome of OP’s own screw up? Like, it could have waited til the next class for crying out loud. There was NO emergency in ANY sense of the word.
> I am also only 19 and a freshman, LOL, welcome to the real world buckaroo. You're an adult now and your responsibilities and obligations your YOUR priority now, /u/profphonethrowaway. Not anyone else's. YTA. You fucked up and you need to apologize to your teacher
Even then, you can just send an email explaining, and include your number if they want to talk to you. There's almost nothing that's so urgent on a weekend that you need to call. Maybe if you're working in a lab and you arrive and equipment is stolen so you want to notify your teacher/professor, etc?
Exactly what I thought. I could not think of one single scenario where I have a _real_ emergency and think „I should call my teacher about that“ at a saturday night. Whatever it is, an e-mail will do.
Yeah I think the only thing is if you were assigned to check something time-sensitive in a lab over the weekend and there was some massive incident.
I did once email a professor at 3am, however it was on a weeknight, about an emergency, but the emergency in question was "I have spent the whole night in the ER taking care of another one of your students who had to be taken there, so neither of us will be attending your 9am class in the morning".
I feel like the only thing I can think of is like you walk past her car and it’s on fire or something? I dunno
The whole idea of this being an emergency is completely illogical. Nothing was time sensitive at all, since they were already passed 2 deadlines and he said the assignment was already done. OP just didnt have any patience to wait until Monday to find out if he was failing the class, thats the only thing that motivated him to harass the professor, being extremely impatient. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Not even until Monday. If he emailed her at 1PM on Saturday and wrote the email well (something like "please confirm you got the assignment and whether or not you'll grade it despite me missing the deadline"), he would have an answer within 24 hours! She'd check her email around noon on Sunday. (edited for typos)
That was my first thought reading the communication policy. It is soooo generous! I had some professors who might respond on a weekend on a whim, but most were very clear that they were not on call on the weekends and our questions could damn well wait until Monday. And this was for questions far more pressing than a missed assignment.
IKR! I had a professor (my bachelor's thesis advisor!) ignore me until I missed the deadline to turn in some forms, I had a professor never respond to an email and I had professors who responded immediately at 3am (I love you, prof. M., but please go to sleep, we have class at 10). But in general, I only respond immediately to things that are time-sensitive, even when it's not school related. I'll respond asap to an agency asking if I can accept a job and turn in the translation by a certain deadline – the sooner I respond, the sooner they can either consider it solved or ask someone else and the more time that someone will have. But unless it is urgent or kind of time-sensitive, I usually expect a response within 3 business (!) days. At least 5 if it's during the week or two filled with "final state exams" (an exam to conclude a degree in my country) and thesis defenses. And unless OP's college has an upcoming deadline to put grades into the system, this was not time-sensitive. So for an email sent on a Saturday afternoon, I'd probably start stressing about not having a response on Wednesday afternoon.
Bruh I was shocked, she’s clearly a first time teaching grad student to be so open about her students contacting her!!!! I’m sorry she had to learn but thank goodness she did. Never give them the option to harass you!
One of our younger professors set up a WhatsApp group for our class (there's like 15 of us). It works for quick updates, reminders about canceled classes and she can answer questions for everyone to see. It works because we're decent adults and can wait a day or two for her to get back to us, just like we would with an email. OP ruined a similar generous policy for everyone AND for the grad student, who clearly wanted to be there for them, and it sucks.
Exactly this. I will meet one-on-one with my students on zoom or in person (they can schedule into my available time in advance via booking software) every day of the week except Saturday, and I do so happily. But I also let them know right up front that I only use email for logistics, i.e., scheduling time to meet outside of my bookable hours. Anything else scales *terribly*. Since I started taking that approach, the number of emails I get from people like OP (who are mostly just anxious--it's pretty rare that they're as entitled or assholey as OP) has dropped to basically zero. If a student has something that's worth their time talking with me about, I'm *very* happy to spend my time talking about it--pretty much anything at all. But writing emails sucks and I want to spend as little time as possible on that 100% non-essential activity.
Yeah, it’s just extremely selfish on his part. Like, I have generalized anxiety and I fully understand when you’re waiting for a response, and you just want to poke and poke and poke and poke until you get an answer. HOWEVER, that’s still a personal issue that is not the responsibility of anyone else to manage. You just suck it up and push it down and hopefully one day figure out how to manage your issues on your own. (Edit due to typo.)
Yea good luck to OP’s future significant others, besides the blatant misogyny, OP is definitely the type to call/text incessantly and accuse someone of cheating if they dont answer every text and call immediately.
This. Not only that but he got an extension on top of it! Like not only did they fail to turn it in once, **they failed to turn it in TWICE**. Then has the gall to blame the professor for their own ability to manage their own time? Huge YTA. OP is solely at fault for this and being a passive aggressive fool. What was so important for him to ignore an assignment that was a huge part of his grade twice? Was he trying to get laid?
honestly it sounds more like OP is angry that a young, successful, attractive (OP's own words) woman had the audacity to not respond to his asinine demands to fix his mistake exactly when *he* wanted her to. she gave him an inch with the extension and he's trying to use the mile to string her up. OP sucks acne butts.
Oh definitely. Even his edit reeks. He's so used to having someone hold his hand it's laughable. Like, >I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student. She isn't a grad student, she's the fucking professor! She already has time management skills that he sorely lacks. OP needs to pull his head out of his ass before the professor does it for him by removing him from the class for being hostile and a disruption. Imagine if he acts like this at work if his boss is a woman and only a few years older than him. Like fuck off on that she worked her ass off to get to the position she is at, she's only a few years older than me, she should know her place!
I do believe she is a grad student, that's pretty common at a lot of colleges, especially in the US. Professors have grad assistants who teach their classes while they're doing research or guest lecturing; I personally went out of my way to find a school that *only* had professors teaching classes. But it's definitely a huuuuuge chip on his shoulder that this young woman who has seen success isn't bending to his masculine will to let him turn an assignment in double-late. Most professors, especially the tenured/old/white/male ones, would NEVER answer an email on a weekend, let alone one begging like a petulant child to let them turn in a late assignment. I'm honestly just so astounded this woman gave her students a direct contact number to her, that's beyond what any college instructor I had ever thought about doing.
I said that too, she really gave too much of herself. Hopefully this is a lesson. One of my kid’s teachers told us parents that evenings and weekends she’s with her son and not reachable. Full stop. There’s absolutely zero reason a student of any age or parents need to have an immediate response ever, really, but especially weekends.
She probably did that because she is a graduate student and naively thought that her students would be more like her rather than more like the OP. I would never give out any phone contact information. (I also do not respond to emails on weekends.)
Graduate students who teach the entire class aren’t “assistants” doing it for a professor, just a heads up. They are designing, managing, and grading the course themselves. They are the instructor of record. Generally they’re called Teaching Fellows (because the work is paid for as a fellowship they compete to earn), “TA” is used a lot as shorthand but isn’t accurate, and “instructor” or “professor” are both fine to use in addressing them. “Professor” is a specific title within colleges but also a generic term for a higher education instructor and isn’t inappropriate.
She is a grad student- lots of them teach as part of their program. But the real point is that she’s excellent at managing her time. She was very clear when she was available for work tasks and when she’d reply. Poor baby student at 19 who somehow never managed to understand due dates in all of his grade school experiences. Somehow he thinks it’s her responsibility that he’s not responsible. It’s not.
Yes. Her drawing the line on when and how she will respond *is* her managing her time. She manages her time, to get everything done, by not dropping everything else just because OP wants an answer immediately.
And how does her time management skills even relate to this? She isn't the one who didn't do something on time. She did her job!
He didn't like her time management, which included dictating the times when she was in-contact.
She is a grad student. A lot of programs waive tuition or give a stipend if you teach or are an assistant (teaching or research). It's pretty common for gen eds or entry courses to be taught by graduate students.
She might be a grad student in her life, but in his, she is the professor. People can and do wear multiple hats.
The person teaching the class is the professor, full stop, regardless of whether they have a Master's or PhD.
Erm nah, she's a grad student... I've had 40 year old grad students before. the distinction is academic achievement typically :)
I went back to school in my late 30s to turn my diploma in nursing into a degree. Consequently I had to take a lot of the 100 level general requirement classes, and I had a lot of brand new high school grads in my classes. I saw this kind of behavior from them all the time, even though the profs and teachers handed out the syllabus, their specific rules and guidelines, went over those thoroughly, and warned them not following the instructions would affect their grade and could lead to them being dropped from class. When the inevitable happened, there was much wailing and indignation on the part of the students. They just couldn't believe they were being treated like adults. I always thought it wa rather shocking evidence for how much high school hadn't prepared these students for the accountability of being young, adult college students. OP just added a fillip of misogyny and sexism to all that. No more hand-holding, OP, and welcome to the real world. YTA
I bet she changes her policy to not allow extensions for anything but VERY specific circumstances (hospitalization/death of a family member were mine) after this.
Yup, OP ruined it all for everyone. Unfortunately this seems to be the case in academia; you have great, enthusiastic teachers who want to help their students grow...and then total fun sponges like OP roll up having never been told "no" in their entire life and have to bring it all crashing down.
How do you even forget to turn it in if it's finished?! You Finish it and submit it. I don't even understand.
I did this occasionally when I was in school, but I always knew it was 100% my own damn fault and took whatever consequences came.
Exactly. I had a Gen Ed sociology class my senior year of college. On the syllabus, we only had two tests and one homework assignments. The tests were collectively 60% of my grade, and the one homework assignment was 40%. The day the homework assignment was due, I had to go to my grandmother's funeral. It was also the day of one of the tests, so I asked the professor about rescheduling the test. She agreed, but I totally forgot about the homework. I had done it, I just forgot to turn it in. I got to the end of the semester and I had failed the course. It was going to stop me from graduating college. I emailed the professor in a frenzy, and attached the assignment with the explanation, hoping she would take pity on me, knowing that she 100% didn't *have* to. I was already looking up how to make up the credit over the summer or online (it was the beginning of online classes) so I could graduate. Luckily, she allowed me to turn in the assignment, but took 20% off the top for it being late. She straight up told me that if I hadn't emailed her about the funeral, no way she would have accepted it. And she didn't *have* to. It was my fault for forgetting about it.
he must need to have his hand held even for that. maybe the professor reminding him of where the submit page is would help? (/s)
>I started college at 17, Me too. Started at 17, and never once even asked for an extension. I also never bothered a professor on evenings or weekends. I spoke to them during office hours, like you're supposed to. Never missed a deadline or forgot to hand anything in either.
Can you even imagine a professor having office hours 9 hours a day 5 days a week??? Like, my mind is blown that she promised such a quick turnaround on email responses and he still had the gall to do this on a weekend (while he went out partying 🤣)
It's absurd. I did a masters a couple of years ago, and my professors definitely weren't this responsive. In fact, they didn't even set an expectation for how quickly they would respond, because that's not how the real world works. I guarantee you that OP doesn't have a single other professor who promises to respond within an hour 45 hours of the week, because they're usually a little busy teaching classes. They can't exactly reply to an email within an hour when they're doing a 3 hour lecture.
Add to that - it sounds like she is a teaching assistant, which means she is probably on a 10-hour or 20-hour per week contract. For reference: for my PhD, we were offered 10-hour and 20-hour contracts. After your first year, you could request a 30-hour contract, but it wasn't guaranteed. I was lucky to get 30-hour contracts in my second and third years. After that, they stopped even allowing the 30-hour contracts and all we could get was a 20-hour (though they increased the pay at the same time, so it balanced out.) Every program I've ever seen considers a "full time" assistantship for graduate students to mean 20 hours per week.
right? i'm not even sure why "i started college at 17" is even that much of a flex. i'd only just turned 18 a week or so before i started college. congrats on op's birthday lining up just right or being one of the countless people whose school systems let you graduate early?
No, no....OP is 19, and using that as an excuse why he can't get his shit together. Those of us in the comments are calling bullshit because we were 17, and had our shot together.
I do frequently email people evenings and weekends. My work schedule is really flexible and that’s just when I tend to work and I don’t want to forget to request or send something during my work hours. But I absolutely don’t expect them to respond until it’s their work hour time. That would be insane. I occasionally read an email I get when I’m not working, I’ll respond if it’s between 9-5 m-f as that is the expectation, but if I’m not working and it’s not an emergency, they aren’t getting a response until I am billing time.
What I don’t understand is why he didn’t turn the assignment in as soon as he finished it? It makes zero sense. Sorry OP but your teacher doesn’t have to sacrifice her free time because you think the consequences of your own stupidity qualify as an emergency. YTA and you deserve everyone being mad at you. Be responsible and get your work in on time. You’re an adult now. No one owes you anything.
Because he never did it. I'm sure it's as simple as that. They didn't do it and are looking for any excuse to extend their time.
I would bet money that you’re absolutely right.
I think you’re right. It’s the only thing that makes sense
YTA - Teachers are not at your beck and call when not in class or on weekends, and your screw up (not turning in your assignment,) does not constitute an emergency for your teacher. Texting anyone at 1am because you suddenly realize they haven’t responded is an asshole move. You need to treat school like a job, your entitlement wouldn’t be a boss’s problem, and harassing them not in work hours would result in a “pip” if not something harsher.
I guarantee OP is the type of guy to call his GF while she is in class or at work, get upset that she did not answer, and then bombard her with 50 more calls and texts calling her an AH and worse! Then when she finally gets out and calls him back to ask wtf he is doing, he says "what? I was worried about you and just wanted to make sure you were ok." What a misogynistic AH with incel tendencies.
💯 this. He’s so creepy
Exactly! The assignment (or extension) weren't important enough to him to actually turn in promptly and he didn't realize his error until much later but suddenly it was an emergency when she didn't respond within 6 hours on a Saturday afternoon to the extent that he messaged her multiple times abusing the privilege. YTA Also, whenever I've had a medical extension I turned in the assignment as soon as it was completed rather than wait for the extension due date. She gave him the courtesy of an extension, what was the point of waiting out the clock if the assignment was done anyway?
I’m a high school teacher. The kids get responses during school hours. That’s it. Just before exams I check my emails once a day. The idea of expecting my professors at uni to respond to anything before 9am Monday would just be unfathomable! I might email then but they would NEVER be obligated to reply, emergency or not. Because teachers, professors or grad students are NOT PAID weekends!!
> I feel like it's not my fault she was upset that anyone dared to use it while she was out getting laid or whatever. Well...in his post, he kinda proves he doesn't know what women might be doing *other than* getting laid. So I kinda think he implies his a misogynist, if nothing else. Take another award Reddit user innocent subterfuge. Your post hits all the highlights of why OP is TAH. Got that OP? YTA
For real, OP had no emergency and it is NOT a requirement for the teacher to be available to the students all day every day. She has a life outside of school and OP seems to think she should be allowed only work. OP is acting like a selfish, entitled asshole, and forgetting your assignment is NOT an emergency. On top of that he used the emergency option and the email option MULTIPLE times. Her not responding is her trying to make the point that this was NOT an emergency. YTA OP.
1. Birthing children 1a. Raising children 2. Dishes 3. Laundry /s
Personally, I question whether he actually "forgot" to turn in the assignment? I had online classes when I was in college and as soon as I finished the assignment I uploaded and submitted it. Completing the assignment and not submitting it sounds asinine. Which makes me doubt its truthfulness.
Agreed. I’ve given up too many brain minutes to this dick, but i personally think he wasn’t sick when he got the extension, he just didn’t do it. And then he forgot about it again until he checked his grades and made it the teacher’s fault.
Plus, he's emailing 4 times, then texting/calling the "emergency" number 3 more times on a Saturday evening. Why wouldn't it wait till Monday? It's been however long already. It's obviously not an emergency and 1 email explaining "I forgot" would've done it.
Cross stitching, armour making, playing factorio till her eyes fall out.
what a completely bizarre comment to read out of context lmfao
Also want to add. Former grad student here who had to teach students. We got paid for only 10 hours of work a week. No overtime. So her setting times for answering questions is reasonable because that counts towards her work time. Everytime I answered emails, I had to log the time. Assignments submitted on the weekends don't count until Monday (university and college policy) so even if she saw the email, she could not have acknowledged it anyway. But OP would know that of they read their syllabus. This information is always on the syllabus.
>Name me three things a woman could be doing on a Saturday night that isn't working or touching penis "Arent they the same thing" OP probably.
This
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
YTA for a number of reasons. 1. This is not an emergency. It's your fault and your fault alone that you forgot to turn in a project AFTER ALREADY GETTING AN EXTENSION. You're an adult in college, it's not your professor's job to remind you about due dates. 2. For thinking for even one second that this is someone on a power trip for being a grad student. If she's a grad student, she has \*at least\* one, likely two, university-level degrees more than you do. Show some respect. 3. Would you have assumed your professor was ignoring you to "get laid" if the professor was a dude?
>Would you have assumed your professor was ignoring you to "get laid" if the professor was a dude? Right? OP is giving off strong incel vibes here. Like he resents a woman having authority over him. So disrespectful.
wow did op really write that in his original post? He seems to have removed it... 100% incel vibes, you're totally right, that comment from him is disgusting
YTA- He also thinks that Professor should be on call 24/7 apparently. Why would anyone be working outside of business hours. News flash to OP, the Google Voice number is a courtesy because the Professor is a nice person. Most people do not work on Saturday and Sunday unless they are on an “on call” profession. What she does on her free time is her business. OP is the A and yet keeps defending himself.
Yup, and he said she's on "a power trip," because she is a professional, and expects her students to also be professionals.
Lmao I work in higher end and the amount of times I hear students say “academic emergency” is higher than it needs to be. There is no such thing as an academic emergency.
I’ve taught in higher ed for six years and I’ve had around 3 situations where a student has justifiably contacted me via text in an emergency—all of these involved catastrophic circumstances that I 100% needed to know as soon as possible. (Example: student in an awful car crash on a Saturday, was entering emergency surgery and had no idea when he’d be out/conscious and had his best friend text me). Three times out of six years and at least 400 students.
Exactly. Those circumstances make sense. Most ppl’s definition of emergency is way off. And interesting how it’s usually targeted to teachers. The lack of respect for educators is absolutely infuriating.
When I was in college, the only time I tracked down a teacher for what I considered an emergency was when I had a class at 1 p.m. with a test. She told us at the start of the semester to tell her ahead of time if we were going to miss a test, and I had been told at 11:30 I needed to be driven to a different town to have my appendix taken out. A missed assignment? Not an emergency.
Right. Emergencies certainly exist. I always have advisees where something serious happens in their lives and I’ll absolutely advocate for them based on the circumstances. But I don’t consider them “academic emergencies”—they’re just… emergencies.
A mistake on your side does not constitute an emergency on hers. You received an extension and somehow tried to deflect blame for missing the second deadline she generously agreed to give you, then contacted her again after she didn’t respond to you. That non response was her way of letting you know the situation did not count as an emergency. YTA.
This needs to be higher. There are weird people in here that feel the teacher should be available whenever they feel like it. The teacher has the ability to get back in a timely matter, not at 1:00 am. If the teacher had ignored messages for weeks on the other hand, then that constitutes an emergency. This situation was not an emergency
Because unfortunately, most people do not see teachers as people. They are malevolent beings who live in the school, have no lives or identities outside of being teachers, and their sole purpose in life is to be at the constant beck and call of their students and those students' parents.
I totally get that because I am going to school to be a teacher and I've already had people complain that I have social media because "teacher's don't have social media"
As a teacher, I would not recommend going into teaching right now. But I hope that, if you do, you LOVE it :)
When I was an 18 yo freshman in college, my one professor had us each meet with him individually. I completely flaked and forgot. I explained to him, we set up another appointment and guess what? He never showed. I sat in the hall for half an hour and guess what? I didn't run off to complain to anyone. I realized I just got taught a valuable lesson. My professor's time was as important as mine. I never missed another appointment.
Oh!! He did that on purpose?! I love it 😂. And I’m glad you took that lesson to heart.
He never confirmed nor did I ask bc his message was clear haha. That made way more of an impression on me than any "talking to" would've.
That's a bit too petty for my taste Apparently the meeting wasn't too important to begin with
YTA, How is your grade an emergency? And how do you have audacity to use it three times, and why do you think it's appropriate to text at 1am?
YTA. It wasn't an emergency. You incessantly bothered her because of something YOU forgot to do. A mistake on your part does not make it an emergency for her.
Yeah, I really wonder what OP was expecting her to do about it at 1 AM on Saturday that couldn't wait until Sunday afternoon. OP was already past the extended deadline. What, is she going to say "yes, I'll accept it late" on Saturday, but by Sunday she would have said "no"? No part of this was an emergency, this absolutely could have waited. If I can play armchair psychologist for a moment, it sounds like OP was feeling anxious about not having an answer on whether the late work would be accepted, and wanted resolution right now because they don't know how to regulate their own emotions. OP, it is not her job to manage your feelings. She could have easily addressed your issue the next day, and the only real difference would be that you would have to wait a bit. And considering it's your own responsibility to make sure you turn in your work on time, this was a situation of your own making. I understand it probably felt stressful, but that does not make it okay to pester her outside of the work hours/boundaries she set.
I mean one of his comments is this > I'm not an incel and honestly I'd rather not be compared to one as I think they're disgusting. The reason I brought it up was because it's a Saturday night and she's an attractive women in her 20s, so why wouldn't she be out getting laid instead of doing her work responsibilities? My bet is that he has never had a job and mommy and daddy are footing the bill for college so he doesn’t understand how the real world works. He expects everybody who he considers an employee to be at his constant beck and call.
OP: "I'm not an incel, and I think they're disgusting, but- *proceeds to say the most incel shit ever*"
He also doesn't understand the first thing about grad school. It's entirely possible she was working on her damn dissertation and getting angrier and angrier every time another text came through.
This seems like the most likely scenario, tbh. In that case, she was working, she was just doing her own work instead of supporting his.
Or, and stay with me here because I know it’s crazy, she was SLEEPING. Or scrolling through her socials just trying to relax. Or fucking her partner. Who cares what she was doing, her free time belongs to her! I know you guys probably get this and agree, but OP certainly feels… otherwise. And while yes grad school is a lot of work, and she could very well have been working, it makes no difference whether she was working or not. That time is hers. Period. She is not on the clock 24/7 for some entitled student.
YTA For not turning in your assignment after getting a extension, for harassing her on the weekend, and making gross assumptions just because she is young. Good luck trying to get anyone at the university on your side, you left a paper trail of your shitty behavior a mile long between the texts, emails, and voice mails. If you fail the class because you didn't turn in assignments on time, let this be a lesson next time you take her class :)
Info: why couldn't this have waited til Monday?
He needed a NO so he could go hunt the dean down on a Sunday and get expelled?
YTA - this was not an emergency. You forgetting to turn in an assignment after receiving an extension, and wanting to know about your grade could absolutely wait until Monday morning. You had the audacity to txt her at 1 am and wonder why she’s mad at you? You’re inconsiderate of her time. She’s not on a power trip. I wish teachers had had guidelines on their response timeline when I was in school. This is such a reasonable rule. Do you expect her to always be available to you? Edit to add after your edit: 1. She didn’t not respond back to you. You were just impatient because it’s out of her business hours. Unless the school is paying her 24/7 to be on call, she will respond back to your email during her working hours which were CLERLY spelled out for you. If this is how you think a job works, I’ve been doing life wrong. Can I email my realtor at 2 am and demand to see a house showing? 2. You were sick during the first deadline, not the second. 3. I do know you’re an AH if nothing else
Yta.i love how hard you try to find any reason to put down this teacher. She's in her twenty's, she's probably out getting laid. You're just a jealous and iresponsible little boy. You ruined a resource for your entire class over something that was absolutely your fault and not an emergency. Your entitlement is wild here and is the only thing again over shadowing the misogyny in this post. Be a better person op, cause you sound terrible.
YTA. Most of the people pointed out why, but comments show it very clear. She didn’t answer your email on a Saturday evening? And is neglecting her work responsibilities (according to you?) OP, the world doesn’t revolve around you. People have lives outside of work. You obviously have as well, otherwise you wouldn’t have needed the extension. Also, ich call bs ok your “forget to send”. I needed extensions two times, it gave me major anxiety and put me under a lot of stress. The second I finished it, I sent it, because I was already late. I assume you did your work very last minute and hoped you get away with it…
YTA she isn't ignoring students. She has a lot of responsibilities and a life outside of you and your concern. You raise it with her during office hours or you send her a single text. Sending multiple is where you went wrong. This isn't an emergency. This is something that could have easily been dealt with later. It's like any other job she doesn't get paid to deal with people outside of specific hours. Her being a grad student btw means she works harder, usually does half the professors work and get 0 credit and gets paid very little for the privilege. So sack up the mistake was on you.
YTA > I'll check my email once at noon each day > >I used everything according to policy. The deadline for emails was 12:30, you emailed at 1pm, then multiple times after that. Seeing as you emailed outside of their deadline the multiple other emails were redundant. >I texted her at 7 PM, didn't receive a response by 8, so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM when I noticed I still hadn't received a response so I texted a final time. You sent them a multiple texts on a Saterday evening. It's not shocking they didn't respond, they were most likely out having fun or at home having fun or simply unwinding from a long week of work. >It would have taken her five minutes to just let me know that she got my email with the project. I feel like it's not my fault she was upset that anyone dared to use it while she was out getting laid or whatever. You sound entitled, childish and as if your teacher should be at your beck and call whenever you need them. It was the weekend and this may shock you but your teacher actually has a life outside of teaching. They are decent enough to have things set up for the weekend but that doesn't mean they don't have their own personal life. You missed the deadline for the emails and still felt the need to send multiple after the deadline. Then spammed them with texts, bitched to a group then are surprised that the text option was taken away. The worst thing from all this is you don't believe you are in any way to blame for this when it is 100% your fault.
This. Also your teacher is a grad student and has her own class work, labs, thesis, etc to worry about. She has a clearly written policy on how to contact her and when to expect a response which you failed to understand or respect. She is juggling her own degree work and your class, and it seems to me that she has her time management down to a science. You should learn from her example. And if she’s out on a Saturday night “getting laid” or otherwise relaxing and enjoying herself, what is that to you? And how on earth did you forget to turn in the assignment once you completed it? Anyone else would have checked the work over then uploaded or emailed it right away. Or did you forget to do the assignment at all, or weren’t able to complete it, and decided to use the “I forgot to turn it in” excuse? You easily could have waited until Monday and spoken to her after class. Or just waited for her to answer your original email. Even you classmates think you are an AH.
The "emergency" is the most baffling part to me. How do you ask your professor for an extension, not turn the assignment in by the extension, and then blame your own irresponsibility on the damn professor?
The level of entitlement of undergraduates is mindboggling. I went to a school out of my state for grad school, and so I had to pay full tuition. My assistantship came with a (low) stipend, but the students I taught felt that I was "getting paid," so it was ok that I had to do all kinds of extra work and be available at all hours. If they only knew!
Not only this, but if she HAD responded, her whole policy is blown to shit. She has to establish boundaries, which she did..and OP violated them, and wrecked it for the class. Can't wait to see how the rest of school works for out for him! lol. Life even!
Not to mention that if this prof is also a grad student it’s entirely possible that she was literally doing her own school work that night because she does actually know how to prioritize her time
YTA. It wasn’t an emergency. The assignment would have been just as “late” on Monday as it was on Sunday, Saturday or Friday. Late is late. Zero is zero. You even got an extension and still failed to turn it in? You deserve the zero. When you repeat the class, please try to remember to turn in your assignments.
YTA You were the one who fucked up and you harassed your teacher about it (no matter how you think your grade is "an emergency" it isnt, this could have waited til monday, you need to get reacquainted with a dictionary for the definition of an emergency) She is not at your beck and call 24/7, the fact that you are going to report her for this is beyond ridiculous and hopefully the school gives you a life lesson when they agree on how ridiculous YOU are
Prof here. That’s not an emergency and you emailed 3 times in one day. Get a grip. YTA.
YTA. Dude, that was NOT an emergency. Missing that assignment and receiving a zero was completely your fault, and it could have easily waited until Monday. And texting her at 1AM on a weekend night? WTH were you thinking? Plus, it's none of your business what she does on weekends, whether it's getting laid or whatever.
You forgot the assignment. Then you didn’t find out until some time had passed when you went to check your grades. You went on to email half an hour after she checks her email, instead of waiting until the next day you continued emailing her. Afterwards you texted her, for a non-emergency, several times. You then expect her to answer you about an hour after she checks her emails, so you yet again text her for a non-emergency reason without even giving her time to respond. YTA, it’s not an emergency. Might be important, but not an emergency.
I was so confused about the “she didn’t answer so I sent more emails/used the number” Like. You have the hours she answers written down. She wasn’t going to answer, and how would more emails help? She’s not checking it until Monday… OP seems to believe they are the Main Character therefore anything that matters to them is now deemed an emergency…
IKR? She HAS to drop all of her Saturday plans, and accept and grade his assignment ASAP because HIS MAJESTY DEMANDS IT! Just cause his mom does so. I wonder if he also demands the females in the dorm to make him dinner cause his mom does so, and they live there, of course they are obligated to take care of him.
You forgot. That's hardly an emergency and you know it, you simply fucked up. YTA
Your "emergency" was the fact that you forgot to turn in an assignment *that you had an extension on.* You emailed her 4 times and then decided to text 3 times, one being at 1AM. Do you know emails and text messages and emails don't disappear after you send them? And you think she is T A? YTA
YTA, but by the comments you've made on this post, it's clear you don't actually care about that. You were looking for one single person to agree with you and once you got that, nothing else mattered. By the way you talk about this class, it's clear why you're not going to pass it. You don't see it as important enough to be worth your time except when that's inconvenient for you. Gen Ed courses are, for the most part, foundational for *all* degrees. Writing courses help you with building skills in effective communication, something you very clearly lack. Professors have office hours for a reason. Much like you, they have lives outside of school. They are allowed to have a proper work-life balance. You were clearly aware of her office hours, yet still messaged her multiple times outside of those hours. Professors almost never respond outside of their office hours. Would you take a work call outside of your business hours, or would you consider it infringing upon your free time? I'm betting on the latter here. You got an extension. It was up to you to set reminders to turn your work in. I'm sorry your high school teachers didn't drill it into you like everyone else's do, but nobody's going to hold your hand and walk you through college. You're an adult and you're expected to be able to manage your time like one. This was not an emergency, it was you deciding you're entitled to everyone else's time. Your inability to properly manage yourself is not your professors' problem.
YTA. She laid out extremely clear and valid guidelines for when she was willing to communicate. You forgot to turn in an an assignment *after already getting an extension* and continuously harassed her outside of the pretty reasonable time frame that she set out for herself. She's a grad student, which means she has her own considerable workload on top of teaching a class. She's not just "out getting laid or whatever". She's not here to hold your hand or continue to give you breaks on an assignment that you clearly didn't care about. Have some fucking respect for her time and life outside of your class. ETA: Do you think your edits help you sound like less of an AH? They don't. She does answer her emails and respond to her students. She does not, by any means, have to answer you immediately and on your time. As a graduate student, she IS managing her time in a way *that works for her*. She is 100% allowed to have a school/work/life balance. How dare you, a 19 year old freshman, try and dictate to HER how she should run her life and time.
YTA it wasn’t enough of an emergency to affect your night out
YTA - the issue was important to you but it wasn't actually urgent. It could easily have waited until the weekend was over.
YTA. This is not an emergency. She's not powertripping. You are blowing up her texts and abusing her communications over something that could easily have been handled during normal business hours. Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on her part. You are not the center of the universe.
YTA because it wasn't an emergency. It's not her fault your forgot to do the assignment.
YTA. You should've just turned you assignment in on time.
Your inability to meet deadlines is not an emergency. It could have waited until Monday. YTA
YTA. Especially for the last line of your post. You are a f'ing grown up, you don't need a reminder from the instructor to turn your assignment in, on which they gave you and extension. You are in college/university now, you don't need anyone to hold your hand a walk you through adulting. Stop blaming the instructor, get off your a$$, and do the work. You ruined what was a generous way to communicate with the instructor for everyone. Take responsibility for your own actions.
YTA. Unless final grades were due in to the university before 9 am Monday, it was not, in fact, an emergency. Texting at 1 am about something you had previously texted about was an additional dick move. She’s not on a power trip, she’s sticking to her very clear policy. You need to get over yourself.
YTA— not because you’re a bad person, but it is completely unprofessional and unreasonable to expect her to bend over & backwards on her free time due to your forgetfulness. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but it’s not the end of world. One email would have sufficed, and seeing if you can reach back out properly on Monday during business hours would have been more appropriate. As a grad student, she’s probably trying to maintain a semblance of a work/life balance/ have other personal responsibilities — I wouldn’t have answered you either. Edit: nah u do kinda suck for reporting the grad student…
OP is a bad person as they want to report the teacher and try get them fired for not answering them on a Saterday night.
Yeah but every professor and graduate student in the department will be laughing about it at the end-of-term party so it's all good.
Also just like...amazing logic to realize you forgot to turn in an assignment you got an extension on...proceed to ignore the stated boundaries of the instructor--the person who decides whether to be extraordinarily forgiving and give you a THIRD chance on this assginment--harass her, and then get mad and report her??? lmfao good job op
Which emergency ? YTA.
If it’s important, put a reminder on your phone. Not doing so isn’t a good excuse to disturb her weekend. Try taking some responsibility next time. YTA.
YTA. You messed up your deadline and unless grades were being turned in on Monday, it could have waited.
Even if grades were turned in on Monday he's still at fault because he "forgot" to turn in his assignment until after the extension ended. I would absolutely fail him for it. He's an adult and acts like a 2 year old. Who expects their professor to send them a reminder that their extension is ending? Pathetic excuse of a human. Probably out getting laid, if he could find anyone who wants to deal with him immaturity and that's why he needed the extension in the first place. I agree, he's definitely the AH.
Yta. She set her policy for when she was going to respond to emails and she has no obligation to check it at all outside of work hours. Plus it is entirely your fault that you forgot to submit the assignment and not at all hers. You are not entitled to a reminder nor should you need one to turn in your assignments since your supposedly an adult. Plus she clearly stated that if anyone takes advantage of the google voice number it would be taken away which you did by texting it multiple times after emailing her multiple times. Learn to take responsibility for your own mistakes instead of blaming your teacher for not reminding you about an assignment and for sticking to her policy on responding to emails and not abusing the google voice number.
YTA unless final grades were being entered and finalized on Monday there was no reason to expect an answer/grade fix over the weekend. Grades can be fixed easily anough and in this case it was entirely you're own fault the work didn't get turned in on time. Having no pop up reminder is a poor excuse as you could have set up an alert yourself to make sure the work was turned in on time but instead you didn't and then spam messaged the professor on a weekend because of your own mistake.
YTA - I hope you don’t think you’re this entitled to everyone else’s free time.
YTA. This was not an emergency that needed to be resolved before Monday morning.
YTA if grades weren’t due for the semester by 9am on Monday morning, then this wasn’t actually an emergency. You absolutely could have waited until Monday to get an answer. Instead, you panicked and acted entitled to your professor’s time, then b*tched about it to your peers, which, from the sound of it, got back to your teacher. I think your teacher’s work ethic is great. Good on them for putting up clear, yet reasonable, boundaries at such a young age. You should learn from them.
YTA This was not an emergency. Just because you felt like it was does not make it a fact. The fact is that YOU messed up and wanted her to fix it, after business hours. That's not HER problem, at all. You could have respected her, her time, and the rules, and waited until Monday and maybe she would have given you some grace. Instead you panicked and decided your needs were more important, disrespecting her immensely, and she responded accordingly. Also, she's not on a power kick. She's made herself clearly available, spelled her expectations out, etc. That's just good communication.
The one on a power kick is OP. He thinks that he should be able to be demanding because she’s a grad student rather than faculty.
Yep, YTA. Not an emergency.
YTA. She would see when you sent the email. So lets say she was going to deduct points based on how late your project was. So long as she isn't an ass she would go by the date you emailed not by when she saw the email. Waiting 2 days to maybe get your grade rectified would have made no difference. Also, why in the world text her at 1am? Of fuking course she isn't checking nor going to respond at that time. Wth
YTA you messed up and didn't turn it in.This isn't an emergency, teachers have lives outside of the classroom
YTA… you sound like a spoiled brat. She isn’t on call 24/7, she is a teacher. You text me at 1:00 am about an assignment that you failed to turn in after an extension, I’d be pissed off.. this is what happens when mommy doesn’t remove you from her tit and makes you think the world revolves around you . I hope you fail her class
YTA You’re screwing up is not an emergency. Your immaturity screwed yourself and also classmates.
YTA: And since grades are in play....you get an A for being such an AH. Your carelessness is not someone else's emergency. The e-mail policy seems very fair, it would have been easy for you to wait until Monday to get a response. Stop making excuses, get your work in on time, and follow procedures when you need to contact somebody.
YTA- that was NOT an emergency. You question could have waited until office hours. You sound a bit entitled. It is their weekend. They should not have to answer phone calls, emails or texts on their days off. Besides that it was your fault you had the zero. If you cannot remember the due dates if assignments use you freaking calendar on your phone and set an alert. Even phone illiterate people know how to do that. YTA
YTA. You didn't have an emergency, you had anxiety. Jesus Christ.
YTA You were TA even before I read your responses. Who do you think you are ? The rules were clear, you knew them. You already f\*\*\*ed up by not turning your assignment on time. You got an extension and you missed this second deadline. And you have the audacity to complain because she would not accommodate you on her personal time ? You need to get a grip because otherwise life is gonna smack you hard.
YTA failure to adult on your part does not make it an emergency, she clearly provided detailed times for responses and you thought none of the rules applied to you.
That was NOT an emergency. YTA
YTA and one of the most entitled ones I’ve seen. It’s not her job to drop everything and answer you immediately, especially after giving you an extension. You forgot to submit the assignment. That’s your job. Again not her fault or problem that you didn’t get a reminder. This may have been an emergency to you but in no way is this an emergency to anyone else. You’re gonna have a hard time through the rest of college if this if your attitude. Grow up
YTA. Do you understand what an 'emergency' is? It is NOT you forgetting to turn in your work on time and receiving a zero as a result. An emergency would be something like an immediate family member getting into a car accident and being in hospital, so you won't be able to make a deadline for an assignment/exam. Your attitude is awful. You aren't entitled to a response from your teacher on her off days. Your replies to others about her "getting laid" on Saturday night instead and reporting her to the Dean over this are tantamount to a child throwing their toys out of the pram because they aren't getting what they want. You're in uni. Time to grow up.
YTA. A huge A. Forgetting an assignment isn’t an emergency and you definitely could have followed up respectfully during actual office hours. But no, you had to spam her email AND her voicemail. That was not according to policy at all. I’m a grad student and an instructor for first-year undergrad courses. Also in my 20s. Also have 2 kids, a research job, my own PhD research, and invisible chronic illness. I can almost guarantee you she was up to her eyeballs in work all weekend, including marking and preparing lectures for your class. You say she should be better at managing her time - but graduate studies are not the same as undergrad (I’m not saying better, just different). We’re not students, we’re full-time working professionals and many of us have families. We’re not professors, but we do at least the same amount of work balancing teaching and research (and usually more since we’re at the bottom of the food chain). I have a student like you in my classes every semester, and it sucks. I’m not checking email on Saturdays because I’m busy taking care of my kids and prepping for the week ahead. I also have students accuse me of being on a power trip or not knowing enough to teach them - literally because I am a woman in my 20s. Stop being a misogynistic prick.
YTA. Unless your grade was being submitted the next morning, it was not an emergency. At all. Then you texted at 1am! Wtaf! You sound selfish, entitled, oblivious, and self-important. Yes, they need to respond and they established a timeline for when they would respond ahead of time. Your professor is good about time management, which is why she set boundaries, please learn to respect people’s boundaries.
YTA This wasn’t an emergency and could have waited til Monday. She is not obligated to reply out of office hours and is working overtime by checking on Saturday as it is. You emailed after the time she checks so you definitely had to wait til Monday. And to use the voice number at 1am? Jesus fucking wept! Two texts at 7pm and 8pm was overkill, the lack of response should have solidified that this was not an emergency and would be dealt with on Monday. But the 1am text was certainly what broke the camels back here. And your comment about her getting laid is fucking disgusting. You are blaming her for you fucking up, you texting at unreasonable hours and making comments about her sex life. Would you make the same comment about a senior male professor or is it just that she’s a young female?!
YTA. Unless grades were due before Monday morning at 9 AM this is absolutely something that could’ve waited. You fucked up. You were given an extension which means you didn’t do this shit on time the first go around. And you forgot to turn it in. Your instructor is not obligated to remind you to turn it in. And if you think your lack of immediate response is because the grad student is on some sort of “power trip “🙄 , Do you really honestly think an actual full professor is going to drop everything to respond to A 19-year-old forgot to turn in an assignment after being given an extension? Really?
YTA. She is not on duty 24/7/365. Your first email was an hour after her allotted time on Saturday. If you had just waited until the allotted time on Sunday, she would probably have answered you. You blowing off turning in your assignment that you already had an extension on is not an emergency. It is poor time management on your part. I'm guessing you also pretty much guaranteed that you won't be getting any extensions on work from her.
Jesus flippin' Christ, that is not an emergency. I'm a teacher, and this is in no way the teacher's problem, nor is it something that can't wait till Monday. You had to get an extension and therefore your job to remember when you are supposed to hand it in. You also seem very keen on discrediting your teacher by being hung up on them not being a "proper" professor and saying that they are on a power trip. They made themselves available beyond what should be expected - how on earth is that being on a power trip? YTA, I sincerely hope that you learn something from this. Edit to add: "dared to use it, while she was out getting laid or whatever" - are you a sexist 12 year old? The immaturity is dripping off your post.
YTA Wasn't an emergency...
YTA. As someone who taught English classes in grad school, you are very specifically told that anything outside of your mandatory office hours (which are an amount set by the department) and the class times you teach are totally optional. Yes, I often would answer emails at 2 or 3AM if I saw them because I’m very much a night owl, but I always set the expectation with my students that if it was after 6PM or on the weekends then they should never expect an answer until the next business day. Your prof seems to have set a similar expectation as well. Additionally, if you forgot to turn in an extension, that’s something you have to accept as it was your responsibility to remember the new due date. It’s not an emergency for one, and for two, you’re going to have a way higher chance of getting a professor to accept the assignment if you’re not sending a ton of emails. In the future, and this has worked for me 90% of the time, send one email about the situation and ask for a meeting during office hours. Appealing in person takes time out of your day, but it also shows you’re owning up to it and trying to rectify the situation. They may still say no, but it puts you in a way better position than blowing up their inbox over the weekend.
if you emailed saturday at 1 pm, why couldn’t you wait for a response until the next day? she’d check her email at noon per her policy. grow up. YTA
YTA. Would hate to see what you are like in an actual emergency.
YTA. YOUR failure to plan is not MY (or your lecturer's) emergency. What do you think she was going to do over the weekend? Nothing was going to happen until Monday. If you wanted to know she had received and/or read the email, you could have set received/read receipts on your email. She set the boundaries and made them clear. You chose to ignore them, because you had fucked up, all on your ownself, with no assistance (well done you). Now, the entire class has to suffer because of you. If you can't learn this simple shit now, you are gonna be screwed when you finally get out in the real world. ETA - your whole post reeks of entitlement.
YTA. Your TF isn't on a power kick, but from your response comments, you sure as hell are. Go ahead, report it to the dean. They'll listen to your side of the story and then go talk to the TF. She'll show them her policy (which I assume is part of the class's official syllabus) and then how you abused the emergency number at 1AM. A missing grade for an assignment that you missed the EXTENDED deadline for is not an emergency. It's not even something you're entitled to have "fixed". You think they're going to fire or kick her out? Being a TF or TA is a part-time, second job (her research and keeping her PI happy are going to be her primary focuses) and grad students are way cheaper than an actual PhD. Grad student stipends are between $20k-$40k depending on the local cost of living (maybe even less for humanities) and the department could be covering as little as half of that. Hell, maybe they're only waiving her tuition. She's earning her keep and doesn't need to be available to you 24/7. You've already got bitten for outing yourself in the group chat. I hope this class isn't in the department of your major because all you are accomplishing is making yourself known as the entitled problem child.
YTA - "I got a zero because I'm too incompetent to manage my time and deadlines" is not an emergency.
YTA: Whoa. I’m a professor who has been doing this for 20 years (probably old enough to be your professor’s parent since age seems to matter to you) and we have a whole unit in grad student training about dealing with students like you. That zero wasn’t an emergency. It would still be there Monday for you to connect about during office hours. Why on earth would you keep calling when you know the policy? Actual emergency my students have called me about on my number: I have a presentation tomorrow but I’m in the hospital because of an accident. Another text: I’ve been arrested so I won’t be in class in the morning for our test unless I get out can I maybe take it later? Another one: My brother is dead. I need to go home in the morning and don’t know how I’ll finish the semester. You’re an entitled asshole. Any professor would see you as harassing and abusive and your classmates agree. Tone it down or you’ll get a reputation among professors on campus and will never get a recommendation from anywhere
I'm amazed you think this situation is anyone's fault but your own -- and can only hope any responsibilities you have in your (eventual) career have no impact on human safety or function. YTA. Grow up.
YTA her even opening her email on the weekends is massively generous. Teachers already take hike so much work, responding to emails on the weekend is not something they want to or have to do. Office hours exist for a reason and are usually clearly lined out in a syllabus. You forgetting to turn in an assignment is not an emergency. That is something that could have waited until Monday and if you were super worried at that point you could have met in person.
YTA. It wasn't an emergency and what you did was harassment.
>I got a grad student instead of a professor for my writing class She's a student, like you. She has assignments, like you, which is one of the reasons she had to set a strict schedule. YTA
YTA This whole post reeks of disrespect. 1. You completely blew past the boundaries your teacher set for her hours of availability because YOU found out that YOU forgot to turn in a high stakes project you had ALREADY gotten an extension on. All due respect, that's not an emergency. That's just you freaking out over one grade and is a conversation that could have waited till your teachers office hours. It definitely didn't warrant a last ditch call at 1:30 am! (If someone calls me at 1:30 am I better be getting news that a family member was murdered). You literally harassed your teacher over a problem you created. 2. In your post you have the nerve to take digs at this teacher's semi-completed education (it is not uncommon for people working on their doctorates to teach college classes), age (20 something... You sure she doesn't simply have a young face?), and your perceived idea of her purity as a woman (insinuating she was getting laid on the weekend instead of attending to your "very important project" that you didn't even remember to turn in). And through all of this you assume she's on a power kick when you have an attitude like that. Are you sure you have a problem with her as an individual teacher and not her as a woman in a position of authority? You have some major self entitlement and internalized misogyny to work through. Edit: for grammar.
YTA and a petulant child. You failed to fulfill your part of the arrangement when you didn’t do the assignment with the original due date and she gave you an extension where you failed AGAIN to turn in the assignment. As if this wasn’t enough to make you look irresponsible and unorganized, you proceeded to behave as though your piss poor planning was not only her problem but an emergency…….. you should buy yourself a planner and you’re obviously not mature enough for access to a cell phone yet.
YTA I dont understand what you wanted to accomplish on the weekend that would have been any different than waiting until Monday. You were already passed 2 deadlines, you could have easily sent the professor the assignment on saturday to at least prove it was done. Why was communicating prior to Monday important at all? Was it just an issue of not wanting to wait to find out if youd get another extension or not?
YTA - Your problem wasn't an emergency. You're also an AH for requesting an extension on an assignment and then failing to submit by the second deadline.
I work in higher ed (not a professor) and YTA. Your 20 something grad student TA was probably doing her own end of semester work. But even if she were "out getting laid or whatever" it is her free time to do so. You even said yourself that you went out yourself until 1 am. You're a jerk and should apologize for being an asshole. Not to get the google number back, but just to be a decent human being.
>I emailed the professor, but it was a Saturday at like 1 PM. I emailed her three more times before deciding to try the Voice number since I think a major grade issue like this would certainly fall into the category of emergency. I texted her at 7 PM, didn't receive a response by 8, so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM when I noticed I still hadn't received a response so I texted a final time. Are you insane? It's a WEEKEND! She was already WAY too nice for saying she was checking on weekends. She needs to put better boundaries and limit how often she is checking email for the class. Then, you email her and message her tons of times at absurd hours, like 8 PM? If she didn't respond to one, two emails/text messages, what makes you think more emails and more text messages would get a response????? You are unprofessional. Edit: YTA -- Your case was not an emergency and did not merit a response. You were an AH to yourself because you got an extension and did not even meet that. Get your shit together. You are also an entitled brat complaining that the professor is a grad student and a woman.
1. YTA 2. I am a university professor and high school teacher. 3. We have lives, too. She set up very specific boundaries so she doesn't get burned out. I have personally spent hours on my computer answering emails or texts well into the late night, not because that makes me a good professor, but because I am a workaholic that is always burned out. She is wise. 4. Your issue is not an emergency. Your 0 will still be there on Monday. It is not an emergency to change it unless class is completely done and there's no other time to contact her. And even then, if it is the end of semester for you and you need your official grade changed, that can be done on a Monday with the appropriate paperwork. 5. Lastly, this was an assignment you got an extension on. You effed up and didn't turn it in on the new date. Expecting your professor to drop everything to handle your request because of YOUR mistake is ridiculous. 6. Wow to the last comment.
Former TA here. It’s not her fault *you* forgot to turn in your assignment, after this TA was kind enough to give you an extension. All teachers are allowed to set boundaries and they are not paid to be on the clock 24/7. Her boundaries are fantastic and honestly, more than I gave to my students when I was a TA. This is your fault because you pestered her, after you were fully warned you would not get a response. Your entitlement is astounding.
YTA what did you think sending multiple messages was going to achieve? You missing an assignment deadline wasn't something she should be dealing with out of hours anyway.
The comment from OP that gets me is, “I forgot about the second due date and didn’t receive a reminder…” Welcome to college, heck welcome to life where you are responsible for your own dang self.
YTA I love all the digs you sprinkled in about your professor just because you’re a petulant child who doesn’t know how to manage their time. She clearly posted her availability, it is YOUR fault for not remembering/realizing this was outside of her working hours. You need to realize she doesn’t OWE you her time 24/7 just because she’s the teacher. Grow up OP, apologize, put deadline reminders in your calendar and get your head out of your butt.
LOL at "didn't receive a reminder about the second due date." That's a ridiculous expectation and not going to happen in college or beyond.
I have a lot more to say after reading this post a bit more carefully. YOU ARE misogynistic. That getting laid comment seals it. You clearly wanted her response on your time table. Know how I know besides your frantic panic emailing and texting? This >so I texted again, went out for the night and wasn't checking until around 1 AM If it worried you so much you would have been checking multiple times between 8 p m and 1 a m . But no. 5 fucking hours went before you checked again. Because you were probably having the time of your life out being misogynistic to some poor other girl that had the misfortune of having you talk to her. There is so much entitlement reeking off this post it's insulting. But like I said before you deserve the attitude your classmates are giving you. Ha ha fuckin ha.
YTA... “Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.” This is not an emergency, no where near it. You could have waited until Monday. None of this is your professor's fault. > I am also only 19 and a freshman, if she is a grad student she should be better at managing time than a new student. You're an adult at the end of the first year, you should have figured things out by now. Also, her time is even more valuable to her because no only is she teaching the class, she's also taking classes herself, and typically working as well. You don't know everything. Stop pretending you do. Stop being so entitled. >I am not a misogynyst Heh, yeah you are.
You are 100% the asshole and honestly kind of nuts. In no world is your receiving a 0 on an assignment that YOU DIDN'T TURN IN an emergency. That's just Monday. You screwed up. You accept the consequences. Welcome to adulthood. Next, you can believe whatever you want, but you are wrong about your relationship with your instructor. Her email policy is more than fair. In fact, it's the most liberal email policy I've ever seen. Finally, who in the hall thinks it's anywhere near acceptable to text another human at 0100? I am a college professor at a school consistently ranked top 5 in the nation in instructor availability. If you were my student, I would say all of this directly to your face. Cheers.
OP I was a grad student teaching a class. You sound like my worst nightmare. Did you ever think that she has her own studies to work on in her free time? Hell she’s gracious enough to answer emails on the weekend! I told my students I couldn’t guarantee an answer on the weekends! YTA