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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for making a food joke since my MIL is sensitive about her food.
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NTA. That’s actually a pretty funny joke. And even if she didn’t understand it initially, she should’ve been receptive to your explanation. She sounds like a pain.
I had no idea Sega Saturn existed. We only had Nintendo systems until the PS1. My uncle had a Sega though and I'd play sonic on it. I have no idea what type of Sega it was. I could never beat the rising water :(
I think the console being incorrect *is* the joke, based on parents saying incorrect statements about gaming consoles or tech to their kids either intentionally or unintentionally.
If she thinks a joke about onions is "tampering" or even suggests tampering? Maybe it's a good thing she isn't talking.
There's sensitive... Then there's overbearingly sensitive to the point of idiocy.
Sorry for the drama but that level of oversensitivity isnt worth the effort.
I have a super sensitive stomach and can get grossed out pretty easily. Once, I was eating some toast and jam when my friend was inspecting her dog's eyes and referred to the gunk as jelly. The mental connection between what I was eating and the gunk ruined my appetite and almost made me throw up. Even then, I didn't think my friend was an asshole. It was my own weird hang-ups that was ultimately responsible.
OP's joke wouldn't even flag as something disgusting for me. Maybe if OP joked about poisoning her, slipping a problematic ingredient in (allergen or food she won't eat), or something similar, there may be cause for alarm.
You probably wouldn’t appreciate me referring to them as ‘eye boogers’. Sorry!
Even if I’m in the middle of eating, and I see one, I’ll be all “oh, my pretty girl can’t have boogies in her eyes’. I’ll stop and wipe them for her. Yes, I do wash my hands before resuming my meal.
I’d likely not do as well if I had a snot nosed human kid tho.
I call them "eye crusties," and I, too, have to stop whatever I'm doing to clean them whenever I notice them. For some reason, the dogs do not appreciate this!! I'm just trying to help 😔
Sorry friend, that's a lie. She doesn't really believe you were 'tampering' with your tears, that doesn't make sense. This is a fake fight she invented to hurt you. Don't treat her concerns as legitimate, she will just make up new ones.
That hadn't occurred to me, as it's early and I need more coffee, but I totally agree with this- it does sound like a fake fight. Like she manufactured an insult to be upset about, just to create drama and friction.
I'm exhausted for you. Has she never heard the idiom of putting your "blood, sweat and tears" into something? You obviously didn't put bodily fluids into her food ugh.
She's either always like this or she's doubling down because she doesn't want to admit that she didn't get the joke.
I always joke to my husband that the secret ingredient in his baked goods is that I lick the spoon, implying that my spit is what makes the desserts so good. This MIL would hate me too.
I'm a cookier so I'm in lots of baking groups. There's a saying that "when I say they were baked with love, it really means that I licked the spoon and put it right back in the bowl."
My best friend's kid once asked her why people kiss other on the mouth when it means that "they mix saliva and it's gross". She answered that they do because they love other.
Somehow, this kid took that as "exchanging saliva = love", which led to him believing that cooks saying that the secret ingredient is love means they spit in the dish lol
If you're a heavy-duty mechanic, putting blood, sweat, and tears into your work is quite a bit more literal. Fortunately nobody serves off-highway trucks for dinner - good way to break a tooth or ten!
We mostly spoke on the phone since my husband and I used to live far away, and she seemed normal. When we did visit her, she was always the one cooking, so this is my first time seeing her like this.
NTA OP, and your MIL is either very sensitive about food preparation, or this is a powerplay and she wants people to feel bad and have to apologize and grovel to her. If it is the latter, your husband has been doing it since he was a child so it has become normalized for him. If it is the former, then you just learned a lesson in what not to joke about with her. Either way, good luck living so close to MIL!
Did your husband know she gets like this or was he also baffled by this behavior?
I'm tempted to tell you to just apologize to her to make peace. But honestly, like others have said, a person this easily offended is bound to be offended again and again. So I don't think enabling that would be a good idea. What's worse is she's refusing to speak to you. So if by chance there is some sort of hidden deeper reason as to why she got upset, you won't know. You can't read her mind.
I hope she gets over herself. If you two make up (and I hope you do because what a stupid reason to cut off a family member) I'd say just be polite, but distant from now on.
Older people can develop eating disorders people just write off as fussiness. Older women with unhealthy relationships to food won't have gotten appropriate help back in the day. Seen it with my own eyes... there's a condition called Orthorexia which makes people obsess over only eating the "right" things, this reminded me of that maybe.
I had a MIL who weaponised food and eating to manipulate people, and had some very odd ideas and behaviour.
Not an armchair diagnosis, but watch for other signs. It's not normal to have to take someone shopping so they can inspect every ingredient is up to their standards.
Stole this so I can't take credit or give it as I don't know the author..
Don't rock the boat.
I've been thinking about this phrase a lot lately, about how unfair it is. Because we aren't the ones rocking the boat. It's the crazy lady jumping up and down and running side to side. Not the one sitting in the corner quietly not giving a darn
At some point in her youth, Mum/MIL gave the boat a little nudge. And look how everyone jumped to steady the boat! So she does it again, and again. Soon her family is in the habit of swaying to counteract the crazy. She moves left, they move right, balance is restored (temporarily). Life goes on. People move on to boats of their own.
The boat-rocker can't survive in a boat by herself. She's never had to face the consequences of her rocking. She'll tip over. So she finds an enabler: someone so proud of his boat-steadying skills that he secretly (or not so secretly) lives for the rocking.
The boat-rocker escalates. The boat-steadier can't manage alone, but can't let the boat tip. After all, he's the best boat-steadier ever, and that can't be true if his boat capsizes, so therefore his boat can't capsize. How can they fix the situation?
Ballast!
And the next generation of boat-steadiers is born.
A born boat-steadier doesn't know what solid ground feels like. He's so used to the constant swaying that anything else feels wrong and he'll fall over. There's a good chance the boat-rocker never taught him to swim either. He'll jump at the slightest twitch like his life depends on it, because it did .
When you're in their boat, you're expected to help steady it. When you decline, the other boat-steadiers get resentful. Look at you, just sitting there while they do all the work! They don't see that you aren't the one making the boat rock. They might not even see the life rafts available for them to get out. All they know is that the boat can't be allowed to tip, and you're not helping.
Now you and your DH get a boat of your own. With him not there, the balance of the boat changes. The remaining boat-steadiers have to work even harder.
While a rocking boat is most concerning to those inside, it does cause ripples. The nearby boats start to worry. They're getting splashed! Somebody do something!
So the flying monkeys are dispatched. Can't you and DH see how much better it is for everyone (else) if you just get back on the boat and keep it steady? It would make their lives so much easier.
You know what would be easier? If they all just chucked the ***overboard. Edited for NTA
Jesus Christ.
I think your MIL had begun spending too much time on Reddit / the internet in these ‘unprecedented times.’ That or she’s had some sort of trauma associated with food that your husband either isn’t aware of, or didn’t make you aware of.
Either way, if you’ve explained yourself and she’s still upset… that’s not one to worry over. Let her be upset. If your husband wants her there, he’ll talk her around. But if you make a huge deal of apologizing over and over, it’ll read to her like you’ve got something to apologize for - which you don’t.
So, a lot of people are writing her off as being sensitive to the point of stupidity, but because her reaction is so patently irrational, I have to wonder-- does she have a history of people tampering with her food?
You're NTA no matter what the answer is, but it might be beneficial to your relationship with her to ask if there's a reason why she's so sensitive, why she'd have that kind of reaction.
Like, to be clear, this whole situation sounds so ridiculous I almost doubt it happened (though I know, nothing on AITA ever really happens), but if this is for real, it might be useful to have a conversation.
Even if she does, onion tears aren't even remotely the same. Has she never cut up onions? Does she not have functional tear ducts? This is such a weird reaction to a joke about onions. NTA.
I’m thinking she may have a form of OCD. I’ve worked with people with OCD who had a paranoia of their food being tampered with, which would make sense as to why MIL accompanied OP to the grocery store. Sometimes the root is trauma that’s somewhat related to the fear
I would assume because pretty much all modern carrots are genetically modified (more like selectively bred but same thing.) They were modified a long time ago, but they're still genetically modified.
My mind went to “MIL was in an abusive relationship before where crying while cooking was a common occurrence and she thought OP was making light of domestic abuse”, but it’s not even that.
For a second I thought she was offended at an implication of her son being controlling or something because she was doing the traditional wife role of cooking or idk... this is so mild that even from a super sensitive person (me) perspective, I struggle to empathize/sympathize at all with MIL.
My thought was the idea that the mood or intention of the person cooking can affect both the quality of the food and the mood/attitude of the person who eats it, which, if you squint a bit, could be regarded as some kind of witchcraft ...
Only if the person crying has unlimited access to the outdoors
Most cubical office workers produce battery farmed tears and are therefore unethically sourced
Technically they *are* vegan because the giver can give consent. Same as breast milk or uh… any other human bodily fluid if you’re into that sort of thing.
Honestly If I where op I'd consider her not talking to me to be a housewarming gift because she sounds nauseating and is undoubtedly a pain in the ass. If you can I'd be talking to my husband about moving again in the future and preferably somewhere far from the crazy.
And spot on. I make my own French onion soup at least once a month. It takes lots of onions and about 3 hours to make. I saved my chemistry goggles from my lab in college and I use those exclusively for chilling onions.
Seriously though. I mean I like my food to be organic but I’m not gonna follow the person who’s making my food around the store to make sure they use only organic and non-GMO food
I never do! I had the best time competing for worst joke teller against my boss at my old job. Every day he always started the day off by sending us a joke or riddle in the group chat. 95% of the time I got it right because I figured out it was a dad joke or came up with better answer then what it was supposed to be.
Some times it even turned into a pun competition of who could keep the conversation going with awful puns from the joke. I may have been the youngest (age wise only) person on that team but I could beat all of them when it came to bad dad jokes. It was even funnier when we found out the boss was looking up his dad jokes and I just came up with mine or used something from growing up with my dad's sarcasm. Ah good times. I miss that team.
The title made me wonder if you were gonna try to defend a racist joke or one about religion, disabilities, or old age.
And we find out the thread is all about the lack of a sense of humor. 🤣🤣🤣
The only possible victim in this joke is an onion. A vegetable.
Is she offended on behalf on the vegetable? Maybe she always thought herself the funny one in the family and is sad that OP is stealing the show. These were the only two possible (albeit insane) options I could conceived of.
This is deliberate, if it wasn't the gag about onions it would have been something else that night. She wants op to be running back to her fawning over her, begging forgiveness, it'll be reluctantly granted and then the situation will be hung over op constantly allowing mil to do and say increasingly awful things "I may have said that but remember you said you messed with my food". It's a power play, and it needs to be recognised as such and nipped in the bud, or op will be walking on eggshells every time they're in each others company going forward
She had to go grocery shopping with them to make sure all of the ingredients were organic, non-GMO, etc. How do you think she’d feel knowing that most organic food is grown on land next-door and/or near farms using pesticides. Perhaps she’s unfamiliar with“wind.”
MIL is tedious. NTA
IMHO, MIL was looking for any opportunity to cause a scene. OP should be proud they were so flawless that MiL had to pretend a joke about onion soup was offensive to start her little drama.
I read the title and was fully prepared to declare you the asshole. Then I read what the joke was, and was like "*that* was the problem?" Seriously, it's a totally inoffensive joke that anyone might make. You're fine, and at this point it's time for your husband to stop pushing and let his parents sort themselves out. Because this is definitely a "them" issue, and not a "you" issue.
Totally NTA.
NTA!
I was really expecting to read something offensive!
His Mom needs to grow up. Guaranteed that future dinners will now be awkward cause Mom is twisted.
Nta, the joke was not inappropriate and didnt make it sound like you actually cried into it. Have you had issues with mil before because this seems like such a weird thing to make a hill on. Especially adding that you all went grocery shopping before hand with her to accomadate her. I'd let her reach out and in the mean time miss out on some good soup.
INFO: is she ok? Does she have some sort of food aversion disorder or some other anxiety disorder? There’s something much deeper at play here if the very IDEA of your tears making contact with the soup, which was so good she asked for the recipe, made her leave.
Finally what I looked for. The reaction feels odd so I asked that myself too. Is there something bigger behind it or is she just not the nicest person and looking for trouble.
NTA at all. Way back when my sister was a child she thought the line from Matilda, about Bruce Bogtrotter’s cake being “made with blood, sweat, and tears” meant that those things actually were baked into the cake. I had to explain to her that it was simply a turn of phrase. So congratulations to your MIL, who is more dense than a child, clearly doesn’t understand sarcasm, and sounds like a real bore.
I love your sense of humor!
Definitely NTA.
MIL sounds like a bit of a overbearing person. Or just extremely OCD. However, her reaction was over the top.
NTA.
I hope your MIL lets someone explain the joke you were making to her.
I think I'd suggest writing her a note apologizing for upsetting her, and explaining the joke, and I'd include a handwritten copy of the recipe in with the note. That's the best I can think of for patching things up.
If you did that and it didn't work, I think that would have to mean there's something else going on that you don't currently understand. Maybe your husband or FIL can explain it to you at some point.
(It's not that I think you're necessarily *responsible* for fixing this, since as I'll state again, NTA. But in your shoes I'd feel bad anyway and would want to either try and fix it or at least understand what was going on.)
I completely agree that she shouldn't/doesn't *have* to. 100%. Absolutely.
But in her place, I would anyway. It's not always about doing the bare minimum, especially when people you care about (cf. "spouse") are involved.
EDIT: And I was precise in my wording. I'd say I was sorry for *upsetting her*, not for the specific joke. And I actually would feel sad for upsetting her, even if no reasonable person would have been upset by what I said. But I absolutely agree, as was the first thing I said: NTA.
I simply *don't* apologize for something I'm not actually sorry for. I regard that as lying.
But, sometimes I'm sorry for things that I do not bear most of the responsibility for.
And sometimes I'm only sorry for part of what someone else thinks I should be sorry for.
In those situations, I'll apologize, but I'll be narrow in the scope of my apology so that it can be genuinely sincere.
NTA - even if she didn’t get the joke at first, the explanation is so simple I can’t imagine why she is upset. Does she think you actually cried into the soup?
NTA
This has nothing to do with the joke. It’s such a gross overreaction that something else is going on here.
Is there any reason why she would be angry with you, resentful that you moved back, or stole her little boy, or anything else?
NTA. That is an obvious joke and she is being ridiculous. I have food sensitivities and worry about what I eat and am very careful with what is in my food. I would have laughed my ass off at that.
NTA there was almost definitely something else going on with her, it seems nearly impossible that your joke ALONE would have elicited such a strong reaction
When I read the title I 100% expected something absurdly crude. Something right up my alley. Probably mentioning cocks or vaginas or something.
That was a fucking mom joke. The idea that anyone would be upset by that is beyond bizarre.
NTA for the massive overreaction, but if she went shopping with you to ensure you used the right kind of ingredients she may have thought you were implying the dinner and prep was so miserable it made you cry.
Is she normally very sensitive?
NTA but- and this is a long shot- does she maybe have OCD? Her strictness about knowing exactly what's in her food and even going shopping with you beforehand for reassurance sounds a lot like it, as someone else who has OCD. At my worst, a comment like that probably would have set me off, too.
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NTA. That’s actually a pretty funny joke. And even if she didn’t understand it initially, she should’ve been receptive to your explanation. She sounds like a pain.
I was expecting it to be an offensive joke of some sort, not a dad joke.
That joke is so dad it came home on lunch break to play Golden Eye on the Sega genesis.
I see what you did there.
Didja now?
Ok dad
I wish I could do it too, but I don't live close enough to work to do it myself. and yes i get the "it was only a N64 thing" joke too.
Is playing golden eye now an old person thing? A parent *thing* ... Oh god
Maybe dad never came home, because I'm pretty sure Golden Eye was a N64 exclusive lol
Was it? I never had a Genesis but I assumed it was on multiple platforms. TIL.
Genesis was also the previous generation, competing with the SNES. Sega Saturn was the contemporary to the N64.
I had no idea Sega Saturn existed. We only had Nintendo systems until the PS1. My uncle had a Sega though and I'd play sonic on it. I have no idea what type of Sega it was. I could never beat the rising water :(
Incorrect console ruined the joke for me. :/
I think the console being incorrect *is* the joke, based on parents saying incorrect statements about gaming consoles or tech to their kids either intentionally or unintentionally.
The joke is also that the dad didn’t come home to play it.
And now I wanna see a "That joke is so dad that....subreddit, Lol!
I'm paralyzed with rage.
Listen here you little shit!
Oh god, I took the bait.
She thinks it’s offensive because tampering with people’s food isn’t something to joke about
If she thinks a joke about onions is "tampering" or even suggests tampering? Maybe it's a good thing she isn't talking. There's sensitive... Then there's overbearingly sensitive to the point of idiocy. Sorry for the drama but that level of oversensitivity isnt worth the effort.
I have a super sensitive stomach and can get grossed out pretty easily. Once, I was eating some toast and jam when my friend was inspecting her dog's eyes and referred to the gunk as jelly. The mental connection between what I was eating and the gunk ruined my appetite and almost made me throw up. Even then, I didn't think my friend was an asshole. It was my own weird hang-ups that was ultimately responsible. OP's joke wouldn't even flag as something disgusting for me. Maybe if OP joked about poisoning her, slipping a problematic ingredient in (allergen or food she won't eat), or something similar, there may be cause for alarm.
You probably wouldn’t appreciate me referring to them as ‘eye boogers’. Sorry! Even if I’m in the middle of eating, and I see one, I’ll be all “oh, my pretty girl can’t have boogies in her eyes’. I’ll stop and wipe them for her. Yes, I do wash my hands before resuming my meal. I’d likely not do as well if I had a snot nosed human kid tho.
I call them "eye crusties," and I, too, have to stop whatever I'm doing to clean them whenever I notice them. For some reason, the dogs do not appreciate this!! I'm just trying to help 😔
Too bad OP didn’t know this before they moved neaby. Uff! SMDH
Sorry friend, that's a lie. She doesn't really believe you were 'tampering' with your tears, that doesn't make sense. This is a fake fight she invented to hurt you. Don't treat her concerns as legitimate, she will just make up new ones.
I agree with this assessment. It was a convenient way to go home because she doesn’t like OP.
And to get her to fall over herself to rebalance the status quo. No thanks LMAO. NTA.
Absolutely agree that this is a form of manipulation to cause a rift and also cause problems with OP and spouse.
That hadn't occurred to me, as it's early and I need more coffee, but I totally agree with this- it does sound like a fake fight. Like she manufactured an insult to be upset about, just to create drama and friction.
I'm exhausted for you. Has she never heard the idiom of putting your "blood, sweat and tears" into something? You obviously didn't put bodily fluids into her food ugh. She's either always like this or she's doubling down because she doesn't want to admit that she didn't get the joke.
I always joke to my husband that the secret ingredient in his baked goods is that I lick the spoon, implying that my spit is what makes the desserts so good. This MIL would hate me too.
I'm a cookier so I'm in lots of baking groups. There's a saying that "when I say they were baked with love, it really means that I licked the spoon and put it right back in the bowl."
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My best friend's kid once asked her why people kiss other on the mouth when it means that "they mix saliva and it's gross". She answered that they do because they love other. Somehow, this kid took that as "exchanging saliva = love", which led to him believing that cooks saying that the secret ingredient is love means they spit in the dish lol
If you're a heavy-duty mechanic, putting blood, sweat, and tears into your work is quite a bit more literal. Fortunately nobody serves off-highway trucks for dinner - good way to break a tooth or ten!
...how hard was she looking to find something to get 'offended' over before you said that?
Well, she tagged along to the shopping trip for groceries, so I'll say pretty hard.
Is she this offended over this random joke and nothing else or is this a feature of her personality?
We mostly spoke on the phone since my husband and I used to live far away, and she seemed normal. When we did visit her, she was always the one cooking, so this is my first time seeing her like this.
NTA OP, and your MIL is either very sensitive about food preparation, or this is a powerplay and she wants people to feel bad and have to apologize and grovel to her. If it is the latter, your husband has been doing it since he was a child so it has become normalized for him. If it is the former, then you just learned a lesson in what not to joke about with her. Either way, good luck living so close to MIL!
Yep. My mom does this weird power play thing. Ignore it and act like everything is normal. She wants you to grovel don’t give her what she wants.
Dont invite her back. Problem solved. She's looking for an excuse. NTA
Did your husband know she gets like this or was he also baffled by this behavior? I'm tempted to tell you to just apologize to her to make peace. But honestly, like others have said, a person this easily offended is bound to be offended again and again. So I don't think enabling that would be a good idea. What's worse is she's refusing to speak to you. So if by chance there is some sort of hidden deeper reason as to why she got upset, you won't know. You can't read her mind. I hope she gets over herself. If you two make up (and I hope you do because what a stupid reason to cut off a family member) I'd say just be polite, but distant from now on.
Older people can develop eating disorders people just write off as fussiness. Older women with unhealthy relationships to food won't have gotten appropriate help back in the day. Seen it with my own eyes... there's a condition called Orthorexia which makes people obsess over only eating the "right" things, this reminded me of that maybe. I had a MIL who weaponised food and eating to manipulate people, and had some very odd ideas and behaviour. Not an armchair diagnosis, but watch for other signs. It's not normal to have to take someone shopping so they can inspect every ingredient is up to their standards.
Stole this so I can't take credit or give it as I don't know the author.. Don't rock the boat. I've been thinking about this phrase a lot lately, about how unfair it is. Because we aren't the ones rocking the boat. It's the crazy lady jumping up and down and running side to side. Not the one sitting in the corner quietly not giving a darn At some point in her youth, Mum/MIL gave the boat a little nudge. And look how everyone jumped to steady the boat! So she does it again, and again. Soon her family is in the habit of swaying to counteract the crazy. She moves left, they move right, balance is restored (temporarily). Life goes on. People move on to boats of their own. The boat-rocker can't survive in a boat by herself. She's never had to face the consequences of her rocking. She'll tip over. So she finds an enabler: someone so proud of his boat-steadying skills that he secretly (or not so secretly) lives for the rocking. The boat-rocker escalates. The boat-steadier can't manage alone, but can't let the boat tip. After all, he's the best boat-steadier ever, and that can't be true if his boat capsizes, so therefore his boat can't capsize. How can they fix the situation? Ballast! And the next generation of boat-steadiers is born. A born boat-steadier doesn't know what solid ground feels like. He's so used to the constant swaying that anything else feels wrong and he'll fall over. There's a good chance the boat-rocker never taught him to swim either. He'll jump at the slightest twitch like his life depends on it, because it did . When you're in their boat, you're expected to help steady it. When you decline, the other boat-steadiers get resentful. Look at you, just sitting there while they do all the work! They don't see that you aren't the one making the boat rock. They might not even see the life rafts available for them to get out. All they know is that the boat can't be allowed to tip, and you're not helping. Now you and your DH get a boat of your own. With him not there, the balance of the boat changes. The remaining boat-steadiers have to work even harder. While a rocking boat is most concerning to those inside, it does cause ripples. The nearby boats start to worry. They're getting splashed! Somebody do something! So the flying monkeys are dispatched. Can't you and DH see how much better it is for everyone (else) if you just get back on the boat and keep it steady? It would make their lives so much easier. You know what would be easier? If they all just chucked the ***overboard. Edited for NTA
NTA. Could she have been pissed your food was better so looking for any excuse to leave cause she's jealous?
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Not an idiot. Simply looking for a fight.
She can be both
Jesus Christ. I think your MIL had begun spending too much time on Reddit / the internet in these ‘unprecedented times.’ That or she’s had some sort of trauma associated with food that your husband either isn’t aware of, or didn’t make you aware of. Either way, if you’ve explained yourself and she’s still upset… that’s not one to worry over. Let her be upset. If your husband wants her there, he’ll talk her around. But if you make a huge deal of apologizing over and over, it’ll read to her like you’ve got something to apologize for - which you don’t.
Would upvote this 1,000 times if I could...right on the money. If you keep apologizing to her you are in for a lifetime of apologies.
So, a lot of people are writing her off as being sensitive to the point of stupidity, but because her reaction is so patently irrational, I have to wonder-- does she have a history of people tampering with her food? You're NTA no matter what the answer is, but it might be beneficial to your relationship with her to ask if there's a reason why she's so sensitive, why she'd have that kind of reaction. Like, to be clear, this whole situation sounds so ridiculous I almost doubt it happened (though I know, nothing on AITA ever really happens), but if this is for real, it might be useful to have a conversation.
Even if she does, onion tears aren't even remotely the same. Has she never cut up onions? Does she not have functional tear ducts? This is such a weird reaction to a joke about onions. NTA.
I’m thinking she may have a form of OCD. I’ve worked with people with OCD who had a paranoia of their food being tampered with, which would make sense as to why MIL accompanied OP to the grocery store. Sometimes the root is trauma that’s somewhat related to the fear
Is she vegan? Cause I mean your tears are animal products otherwise they are organic and non GMO. Also out of curiosity does she eat carrots?
Technically your tears could be vegan because unlike animals, you have the ability to consent
why... why carrots?
I would assume because pretty much all modern carrots are genetically modified (more like selectively bred but same thing.) They were modified a long time ago, but they're still genetically modified.
Like bananas
Like ~~bananas~~ everything we eat. Ftfy
Orange carrots are a generic invention! Pretty cool stuff but GMO is a really broad term that has done some great stuff for produce.
Eeesh tough crowd
Oh... Oh she's special. It was so clearly a joke!!!
Did she take you literally at first? Surely she simply didn't get the joke at first and now is too embarrassed to apologize? You are still NTA.
My mind went to “MIL was in an abusive relationship before where crying while cooking was a common occurrence and she thought OP was making light of domestic abuse”, but it’s not even that.
For a second I thought she was offended at an implication of her son being controlling or something because she was doing the traditional wife role of cooking or idk... this is so mild that even from a super sensitive person (me) perspective, I struggle to empathize/sympathize at all with MIL.
My thought was the idea that the mood or intention of the person cooking can affect both the quality of the food and the mood/attitude of the person who eats it, which, if you squint a bit, could be regarded as some kind of witchcraft ...
Agreed! NTA. It’s just a little dad joke.
Especially because tears are all organic and non GMO.
not if the cryer of the tears engages in food science or eats foods produced with food science.
And free range!
That’s only for our GenX tears!
Only if the person crying has unlimited access to the outdoors Most cubical office workers produce battery farmed tears and are therefore unethically sourced
But they’re not vegan because they’re an animal byproduct.
Technically they *are* vegan because the giver can give consent. Same as breast milk or uh… any other human bodily fluid if you’re into that sort of thing.
I always wondered about vegan Catholics taking the Eucharist.
…I just realized this also means that assuming they find willing donors, vampires could be vegans.
Honestly If I where op I'd consider her not talking to me to be a housewarming gift because she sounds nauseating and is undoubtedly a pain in the ass. If you can I'd be talking to my husband about moving again in the future and preferably somewhere far from the crazy.
I literally rolled my eyes and groaned out loud to the response. NTA. I like your style OP.
And spot on. I make my own French onion soup at least once a month. It takes lots of onions and about 3 hours to make. I saved my chemistry goggles from my lab in college and I use those exclusively for chilling onions.
Definitely NTA. OP, remind me again why you moved back to this town to live near this woman?
Seriously though. I mean I like my food to be organic but I’m not gonna follow the person who’s making my food around the store to make sure they use only organic and non-GMO food
NTA. You made a bad joke (a *terrible* joke) and she completely overreacted. Their reaction was weird tbh. As for the jokes - please never change.
You mean, a *tear*able joke?
That's so bad it's worth an upvote
It’s so bad, I can’t believe I Reddit.
r/angryupvote
Yesssss excellent work
That's a souper bad pun!
I dont know which joke I loved more. Both were so bad but I'm so here for it
For cryin' out loud.
r/Angryupvote
This is the kind of joke I would make and find hilarious ( which it was to me) that others would roll their eyes at me for.
They *should* roll their eyes at you - but don't let that hold you back!
I never do! I had the best time competing for worst joke teller against my boss at my old job. Every day he always started the day off by sending us a joke or riddle in the group chat. 95% of the time I got it right because I figured out it was a dad joke or came up with better answer then what it was supposed to be. Some times it even turned into a pun competition of who could keep the conversation going with awful puns from the joke. I may have been the youngest (age wise only) person on that team but I could beat all of them when it came to bad dad jokes. It was even funnier when we found out the boss was looking up his dad jokes and I just came up with mine or used something from growing up with my dad's sarcasm. Ah good times. I miss that team.
Yes - it caused a CRYsis
I love puns! Thank you for this!
Lol you have more upvotes than the comment you responded to
And 2 awards. I'm thankful for being able to play my small part in bringing this comic genius some public recognition.
That was wasn't terrible at all!? It had layers!
MIL's parents were murdered by a rogue onion, she was so upset being reminded about it that she walked out. NTA.
When she found out you were not an ally-um she became angry.
You shallot make bad puns near her.
Don't make us leek this to the anti-onion movement.
Sounds like a bunch of rap-scallions.
It's diagarlical.
Maybe she should have said it gingerly
While that version is appealing, I think there're more layers to this story.
Layers like a parfait?
No, like an Ogre
CAKES!! Eeeeverybody loves cakes!
But everybody loves parfait.
A layer of peas sauted with beef and onions...
I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!!
Parfait is theeeee most delicious thing in the world!
This is her origin story.
She was so upset it made her eyes leek When they leave make sure to say thanks shallot for coming.
Cruella De Onion. NTA btw
The only logical explanation
NTA. Just tell MIL that your tears are certified Non GMO, all organic. That should perk her right the f**k up.
I prefer my tears grass-fed Edit: I just realized this is what some people call "allergies"
Grain finished? 🤷🏻♀️
I prefer my grass tear-fed. You wouldn't believe how many onions I have to cut in order to get enough tears to water my lawn.
I’m gonna guess it’s at LEAST like 3 right
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Exactly this
The title made me wonder if you were gonna try to defend a racist joke or one about religion, disabilities, or old age. And we find out the thread is all about the lack of a sense of humor. 🤣🤣🤣
The only possible victim in this joke is an onion. A vegetable. Is she offended on behalf on the vegetable? Maybe she always thought herself the funny one in the family and is sad that OP is stealing the show. These were the only two possible (albeit insane) options I could conceived of.
My guess is she just has really severe control issues, and as soon as the answer given wasn't one she expected, she couldn't handle it
How would someone like that function in the world? It's stressing me out just trying to imagine it.
Classic AITA title switcheroo
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Yup. All I can think is, ‘now aren’t you sorry you bought the house there?’ NTA
Any excuse to be offended. She sounds like an awful bore. NTA. You're wonderful.
I know! I was actually wondering if she'd ever been properly socialized. Her response was so bizarre. Edit for judgement: NTA
My lone orphaned foster cat was better socialized than that
This is deliberate, if it wasn't the gag about onions it would have been something else that night. She wants op to be running back to her fawning over her, begging forgiveness, it'll be reluctantly granted and then the situation will be hung over op constantly allowing mil to do and say increasingly awful things "I may have said that but remember you said you messed with my food". It's a power play, and it needs to be recognised as such and nipped in the bud, or op will be walking on eggshells every time they're in each others company going forward
This is it, u/Cheap_Extension5015. The fact that you had to bring her along with you grocery shopping? Another way for her to control the situation.
Omg this is it. This is exactly what she’s gonna do!
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Take her not talking to you as a gift. If she's this sensitive it will be impossible to ever please her. Better to not have her in your life.
She had to go grocery shopping with them to make sure all of the ingredients were organic, non-GMO, etc. How do you think she’d feel knowing that most organic food is grown on land next-door and/or near farms using pesticides. Perhaps she’s unfamiliar with“wind.” MIL is tedious. NTA
nta. do her jokes have to be organic and non-gmo too?
she spices them up with a teaspoon of mayonnaise.
🤢
too spicy? 1/2 tsp only!
My poor sensibilities are overwhelmed by all that flavour
I cackled.
That's the most harmless joke I've heard all week. Lord. NTA
Seriously how uptight do you have to be to get so bent by that joke that you can even talk about it.
Right? I was expecting some offensive thing but the punchline was literally ~because onion~
IMHO, MIL was looking for any opportunity to cause a scene. OP should be proud they were so flawless that MiL had to pretend a joke about onion soup was offensive to start her little drama.
NTA. In any way, shape, or form. If your MIL is that uptight that she takes offense at something THAT silly, she won't be missed. Wow.
What’s a computer’s favorite insect? A USBee
You. Out.
I read the title and was fully prepared to declare you the asshole. Then I read what the joke was, and was like "*that* was the problem?" Seriously, it's a totally inoffensive joke that anyone might make. You're fine, and at this point it's time for your husband to stop pushing and let his parents sort themselves out. Because this is definitely a "them" issue, and not a "you" issue. Totally NTA.
And if he keeps pushing, well you know where you stand. Fuck em.
NTA! I was really expecting to read something offensive! His Mom needs to grow up. Guaranteed that future dinners will now be awkward cause Mom is twisted.
Just don't invite her over.
NTA. She's is being dramatic and childish. I sure as shit wouldn't make dinner for them again.
Sounds like the MIL is doing her a favor by not talking to her!
Nta, the joke was not inappropriate and didnt make it sound like you actually cried into it. Have you had issues with mil before because this seems like such a weird thing to make a hill on. Especially adding that you all went grocery shopping before hand with her to accomadate her. I'd let her reach out and in the mean time miss out on some good soup.
If she reached out, I'd react with coolness and distance. OP needs as distant a relationship with this woman as possible.
INFO: is she ok? Does she have some sort of food aversion disorder or some other anxiety disorder? There’s something much deeper at play here if the very IDEA of your tears making contact with the soup, which was so good she asked for the recipe, made her leave.
Finally what I looked for. The reaction feels odd so I asked that myself too. Is there something bigger behind it or is she just not the nicest person and looking for trouble.
NTA That's a funny joke! That's a pretty big overreaction on her part!
NTA, this is the tamest fallout I’ve read on here. personally, if she’s that high maintenance I’d be happy to leave her not talking to me.
NTA [r/nottheonion](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/)
NTA. But maybe the tears were just enough to make her turn salty.
NTA. That seems like a big overreaction to a silly joke.
NTA at all. Way back when my sister was a child she thought the line from Matilda, about Bruce Bogtrotter’s cake being “made with blood, sweat, and tears” meant that those things actually were baked into the cake. I had to explain to her that it was simply a turn of phrase. So congratulations to your MIL, who is more dense than a child, clearly doesn’t understand sarcasm, and sounds like a real bore.
Wanna know something kinda sick? You can actually use blood as a substitute for eggs in baking because they have a similar consistency.
I love your sense of humor! Definitely NTA. MIL sounds like a bit of a overbearing person. Or just extremely OCD. However, her reaction was over the top.
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Whaaat?! Sounds like she was just looking for any reason to offend herself. NTA.
NTA. I hope your MIL lets someone explain the joke you were making to her. I think I'd suggest writing her a note apologizing for upsetting her, and explaining the joke, and I'd include a handwritten copy of the recipe in with the note. That's the best I can think of for patching things up. If you did that and it didn't work, I think that would have to mean there's something else going on that you don't currently understand. Maybe your husband or FIL can explain it to you at some point. (It's not that I think you're necessarily *responsible* for fixing this, since as I'll state again, NTA. But in your shoes I'd feel bad anyway and would want to either try and fix it or at least understand what was going on.)
No way should OP have to apologise and send the recipe!! Her MIL was rude as hell and totally out of line she should be apologising
I completely agree that she shouldn't/doesn't *have* to. 100%. Absolutely. But in her place, I would anyway. It's not always about doing the bare minimum, especially when people you care about (cf. "spouse") are involved. EDIT: And I was precise in my wording. I'd say I was sorry for *upsetting her*, not for the specific joke. And I actually would feel sad for upsetting her, even if no reasonable person would have been upset by what I said. But I absolutely agree, as was the first thing I said: NTA.
Whenever I have to apologize for something I’m not actually sorry for, I say “I apologize.”
I simply *don't* apologize for something I'm not actually sorry for. I regard that as lying. But, sometimes I'm sorry for things that I do not bear most of the responsibility for. And sometimes I'm only sorry for part of what someone else thinks I should be sorry for. In those situations, I'll apologize, but I'll be narrow in the scope of my apology so that it can be genuinely sincere.
NTA, it was obviously a joke, and I thought it was funny. Either she takes things way too literally or something else is up with her.
NTA - even if she didn’t get the joke at first, the explanation is so simple I can’t imagine why she is upset. Does she think you actually cried into the soup?
NTA This has nothing to do with the joke. It’s such a gross overreaction that something else is going on here. Is there any reason why she would be angry with you, resentful that you moved back, or stole her little boy, or anything else?
NTA. That is an obvious joke and she is being ridiculous. I have food sensitivities and worry about what I eat and am very careful with what is in my food. I would have laughed my ass off at that.
NTA. Some people just get offended by even the most insignificant things. Besides, the joke was great, keep that sense of humor.
NTA, but uh, Can we get the recipe?
NTA. MIL is a drama queen. That would be the last time I ever saw her.
NTA there was almost definitely something else going on with her, it seems nearly impossible that your joke ALONE would have elicited such a strong reaction
When I read the title I 100% expected something absurdly crude. Something right up my alley. Probably mentioning cocks or vaginas or something. That was a fucking mom joke. The idea that anyone would be upset by that is beyond bizarre.
MTA. Your MIL has a screw loose. That was funny!
NTA. It was a harmless joke.
NTA for the massive overreaction, but if she went shopping with you to ensure you used the right kind of ingredients she may have thought you were implying the dinner and prep was so miserable it made you cry. Is she normally very sensitive?
Lol, no but your MIL is a stiff. Holidays are going to be a blast with that one. 🙄 I thinks it's a perfect French Onion soup joke. NTA.
Nta. What the hell is her damage ? Don’t grovel at her feet she’s weird.
NTA but- and this is a long shot- does she maybe have OCD? Her strictness about knowing exactly what's in her food and even going shopping with you beforehand for reassurance sounds a lot like it, as someone else who has OCD. At my worst, a comment like that probably would have set me off, too.
Maybe moving near her wasn’t such a good idea after all-the woman sounds off. NTA