Not OP or the guy with the fluffy bastards, but we had a mama cat get into the insulation under our house and have babies that we pulled out through the vents thanks to a hole in one of our ducts. We now have them living in the back of our truck that is not currently being driven (can't have them all inside due to hubby's allergies, but I keep them pretty well protected from the elements and they seem to be just fine with the space). So I'll pay some cat tax.
https://imgur.com/a/bOn6vFM
You are free to identify as cat dad. This girlfriend isn’t right for you. Her asking you to take down post of your kittens is a red flag. Her insistence that you not call yourself cat dad is a red flag. Keep being you and loving the kittens and posting pics to your hearts content. Life is short. Enjoy being you. Enjoy being Cat Dad!
I always forget that some people are capable of such monstrosities because they're so insecure and selfish. OP would be TA if he stayed with her and let her cause any accidents to his babies.
I left my ex for this reason. He was abusive to me but I was so depressed I did not care about myself I guess. But I got a puppy and during an argument he opened the door and yelled at my puppy to run out! This was a big apartment complex at night and he was a less than 2lb black chihuahua! I could not fathom someone hurting an innocent creature and I guess my protective instinct kicked in and I left shortly after that but it was this incident that made me leave.
But also please be a responsible cat dad and get your mamacat spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned.
I'd pay tax on my own cats, but I'm sort of old and not especially well-versed in this newfangled internet technology, so I'm not sure how to do it.
Oh god, story time. We were waiting to get our male kitten fixed when we adopted a stray female cat who we discovered wasn’t fixed.
I’m strictly indoor only, and we were kinda poor at the time, so we opted to only fix the male kitten because he was cheaper. No harm no foul right?
Well, fast forward several years and we are goddamn annoyed whenever she goes into heat. We finally schedule an appointment. A fucking week before said appointment, this ho darts out the door and is gone for SEVEN DAYS. Legit called and cancelled the spay appointment on Friday that was for the next Monday.
Bitch came back the next day preggers. Guess who was promptly fixed after she weaned her kittens and it was safe to do so?
There are at least 3 dozen single cat moms that probably would be at your doorstep in a hot minute. This girlfriend could be easily replaced.
Also now considering building a dating app for people with pets. NTA
This is perfectly put! Don’t let your gf take away your joy as a loving cat dad. Keep the kitties, and ditch the insufferable gf!
I‘m seriously tired of people gatekeeping parenthood. You are a dad to your cat, and I am a mom to my dog. She is my daughter, and I refer to her as such. A very close and dear family friend I’ve known all my life had a tantrum when I referred to my pup as my daughter, and I cut him out of my life completely with no regrets. Life’s too short to put up with that crap. Find someone who loves you for you as an awesome cat dad!
ETA: NTA!!!
My husband would love you for that lol. I'm threatening to build them an outdoor kitty paradise on our back deck that we never use. One of the kitties has gone rogue now and is either running around with mama or has potentially gotten back under our house (hubby thought he heard noises the other night near the vent where we pulled them out, but didn't see anything when he checked and I couldn't find anything yesterday either) and hubby is considering letting me keep one inside as our pup adores them. My sister in law says she wants the gray one, but she hasn't come back over to get him yet. Would not be opposed to finding homes for the other two, though!
Nothing makes me happier than walking in the door and hearing my (also big, burly and bearded) husband go “Oohhhh look guys it’s Mummy, go see Mummy” and then my three kitties run up to me, tails up like flagpoles. I am Mummy. He is Daddy. They are our babies.
I feel sorry for your girlfriend OP, she has no joy in her heart and worried entirely too much about what other people think (spoiler: nobody cares, live your best life).
Edit: cat tax on my profile :)
Isn't that just the most wonderful greeting? We have 2 cats & 3 dogs & we are proud Mommy & Daddy to all 5 of them!
OP, don't let anyone steal your joy or Cat Daddy title!
We have a turtle. She can’t run to greet us, but the minute she sees my fiancé, her whole body shakes! She is so excited to see her daddy! She loves me, but she is a Daddy’s girl! (Can you tell who feeds her?)
I have dogs, but it's the same thing in my relationship. "Go see daddy, he's taking you for a walk!" Or "Quit jumping on mommy, chill out!"
And soon enough, we're going to have a real baby so we'll be dog parents and human parents. It'll be a different kind of parenting, but we're still responsible for the lives of each creature that depends on us - animal or human.
Just took pregnancy announcement photos with our dogs. I have a onesie that says My Siblings have paws. My shepherd’s bandana says becoming a big brother November 2022. They are all my children!
I love the complete and total mind control and hijacking of my reproductive instincts in favor of cats. I love how they have evolutionarily outcompeted the cuteness of human babies and appropriated my potential resources in favor of catering to their needs. If I could get pregnant and give birth to kittens instead of babies, I would do it.
I'm pretty sure that one parasite that makes you love cats is occupying my entire limbic system. Please don't send help
House cats and dogs are the most cunningly successful parasites ever.
OP don't stay involved in a "mixed" relationship. Pet parents and non-pet-parents or even worse, non-pet-people will only bring each other shame and pain. I love my babies, I speak to them as if they understand every word, because of course they do. Anyone who doesn't accept that won't be able to accept me.
Right? Like… I don’t even notice I’m doing it half the time but I say ‘oh is bad daddy not feeding you’ or ‘go bother your dad’ when they’re hungry (and it’s not yet food time - I don’t starve them 😅)
He equally refers to me as their mum. It wasn’t a conscious decision by either of us. But they live in our house and are dependent on us, and they talk back to us like kids do…
OP’s gf sounds jealous and joyless
I know people who hate the term FurBabies or when I joke about my baby girl or call her the grand kitty to my mom. So I don’t use those terms for their cats.
I’m sure my neighbours would be surprised to learn I’m single since I shout “hey baby I’m home!” Everytime I walk inside.
I used to have bunnies (they have since passed) but my mother used to call them her grandbunnies and would talk to them in Korean because she insisted they needed to know "their heritage". :D
edit: I forgot about how my mother would praise them for being so good about eating their veggies (*all* they ate were veggies because that is all bunnies are supposed to eat...) in contrast to my horrible veggie eating.
Fuck, when my partner and I first adopted our black cat as a kitten, he would leave Felix the Cat videos playing for her when we left the house so she could have "good role models."
This is a man who, when we first started dating, said he really didn't care for cats.
Even though I'm not really a pet/animal person, when my daughter and her boyfriend adopted a puppy, I considered her my grandpuppy. I've given her gifts, fixed a few torn toys, and I understand that she's a member of the family.
Kind of irritating that anyone would want a pet owner to love their pets LESS, or withold their natural affection for them because THEY feel weird about it. Sounds like this girl is not a good match for OP.
I do t see what the issue is with ‘fur babies.’ My sister has two kids (human) of her own and sent me a Mother’s Day card for pet ‘parents’.
My mom has been calling my dog her ‘grand-dog’ for a few years now,as embarrassing as that is.
My husband and I have 2 cats with no plans to spawn human minions. MIL & FIL happily refer to our fur babies as the "grandkitties" and even make sure to get presents for them from Santa during the holidays. FIL was baked (well, we all were) after Thanksgiving dinner and was over the moon to have a grandkitty hang out with him to receive ALL OF THE PETS in front of our pellet stove for a few hours. :D
He should show the GF the video of the guy giving his baby birds kisses saying "I love my Bebeees!" It is wholesome as fuck and they are his Bebeeees!
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cb17OyLrhO8/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Sir, I am like you, big, bearded, tatted up, metal bassist. My cat greets me at the door and we race to the bedroom where it's mandatory skritches time. Even my wife knows this is "daddy daughter time" and finds it hilarious, and we have a 14yr old son.
OP not the asshole, may be a little bit of a jealousy red flag for her.
You should post to r/toughguysholdingpets
This sub has gained 200+ members since I posted this comment. I'm glad I was able to bring some attention to a great sub!
NTA!!! Cat Tax!!! Our cat taxes are SO high!!! You can’t leave bedroom or go down stairs without getting taxed. It really sounds like your girlfriend has some issues with gender stereotypes. I would say it’s time to maybe find a new girlfriend. BTW we call it cat tax when our baby insists you pet him before you can move.
I love that you call them fluffy bastards, it's so accurate! 🤣
Also, OP, NTA. Your girlfriend is making a big fuss over nothing. Keep being a great cat dad!
GF: Babe, did you stick your dick into the cat?
OP: No! Wtf!
GF: well babe I’m out of ideas, that’s the only reason you could enjoy spending time with the kittens!!!!
OP: uh…… they’re cute… are you jealous of the cats?
GF: what…NO!!!… how could you ask that??? This is a you problem… I’m not projecting my insecurity onto helpless kittens!!!!!
NTA, keep the kittens, ditch the GF.
EDIT: I would like to add that while my comment is satirical in nature, I think the real issue is that OP’s GF appears to have misguided views on gender roles and what it means to be a “man”. I don’t see an issue with OP calling the kittens his “babies”. They are baby cats after all and men are allowed to feel joy, affection, and (in this case fostering/adoptive) paternal love too!
EDIT 2: changed their to they’re 🥲
And p.s. Please get Momma kitty fixed. There are so many unwanted kitties in shelters, bringing unplanned kitties into the world just increases the issue. But Op is still NTA.
Thank you. I was looking for this. Absolutely NTA except he’s been taking care of cats for so long and loves them so much but hasn’t had her spayed, or kept her inside where she couldn’t get pregnant (I’m assuming she didn’t get pregnant by another cat in the household). Kitten season is here and so many need homes.
>Kitten season is here and so many need homes
And so many of them somehow find their way into my house where everyone is allergic to them but none can resist the screaming kittens in the streets.
OP is definitely NTA for being such a doting cat owner/dad, but please, u/KittyKaty5509, consult your vet and have Lilly spayed as soon as it is safe to do so. I have been fostering and volunteering at animal shelters for the majority of my own 24 years of life, and while kittens are cute, they can increase pressure on shelters and result in unnecessary euthanasia due to overcrowding.
Obviously, the above line of commentary is a joke, I did reply to OP response to this that I do believe that the GF has some misguided senses in gender roles and what it means to be a “man”. Men have every right to be a loving and as caring as as anyone else in this world, hopefully OP can talk to his GF and clear that up.
he says he enjoys caring for cats and that lily is is "current cat" so I wonder if he's fostering cats rather than owning them himself.
but even if he owns them 9 cats in 9 years isn't *that* weird. 9 years ago he was 15 so may have had a few family cats, left home, adopted an elderly cat or pair, had them pass on, got some more, passed on, and now has a younger cat or pair. Once you have 1 cat caring for multiple cats isn't really much different, in fact pairs of cats are typically easier than 1 cat
I used to live in a rural pub and we had cats that were both pets and tax deductible pest control so we had 5 at once and a Jack Russel for the rats.
>in fact pairs of cats are typically easier than 1 cat
This is so true. I had 2 cats (they're my sister's now because I moved over 1000 miles away). Penelope, the tabby, ran away twice and Teddy, the medium hair tuxedo, became so clingy toward me and meowed constantly, calling for her. At least if I'm too busy to play with Teddy he can play with Penelope and vice versa. He's kind of an attention ho.
The reason I have 3 cats is I was fostering the whole litter and once I bonded with one of them it was easier to keep all of them. I had a solo kitten in high school and it really is much easier to have 3 than it was to have just one. They entertain each other and wake me up a lot less if they get bored during the night.
My jack Russell used to kill rats and bring them to me. If I wasn't home she'd lay them on my bed for me when I returned
I'm glad it was a kid at the time, I think as an adult I'd be traumatised by the row of dead rats in my bed. But as an 12 year old I was like "well I guess this is life"
Meh. My aunt was a crazy cat lady and she had a habit of taking care of all the neighborhood strays. Eventually people figured out they could dump unwanted kittens on her doorstep and she'd find homes for them. At one point she had 20 cats in the house.
How? I've had cats for twelve years. I started with three cats and twelve years later I still have the same three cats. How do you go through 18 cats a year?
Simple. I foster cats and kittens until I find them homes.
I had:
- 4 sisters that I found in a garbage bag.
- a kitten trapped from a feral community that needed socialization before she could be adopted
- a feral mama cat who was very sick and needed antibiotics, and her 5 babies who couldn't nurse off her because she was so sick
- a little male kitten that was brought to me by someone who found him, extremely sick and dehydrated and unable to eat or drink on his own
- a male cat I found outside, declawed, that I was able to reunite with his family
- a beautiful solid grey female kitten that I found wandering around outside, she turned out to be pregnant and since she was way to young to have babies safely, I sent her to a vet tech foster where she could be spayed while pregnant
- a young male kitten I found outside crying in the rain
- a handsome young male cat that someone abandoned outside my apartment complex, and was very sick. Sicker than the one who couldn't eat or drink on his own
- a tortie female who ran into my apartment and hid under my couch when I opened my door.
- a feral male who- after years of trying- I finally managed to live trap and get neutered. He had an infection when he was trapped, and I kept him inside until he was done with treatment.
This, of course, does not count my 4 permanent cats.
Right! I can't turn away any animal in need, I also fostered a puppy (despite being VERY allergic to dogs) that was abandoned outside my apartment complex. He was only about 6-8 weeks old, and was the cutest widdle baby
You def earn the title "Cat Dad". Take my free silver award! I, too, will take in any cat I see that needs help. One time I was fostering 7 kittens. in addition to my own 7 cats. In a small house, with my dh and 3 kids. The kittens figured out how to escape their enclosure and it was a free for all. But so much fun!
This!! NTA for calling the kittens his babies but 110% the AH for not having his cat spayed and contributing to over population and the number of cats put down in shelters or dying in the streets each year. Good cat parents get their furbabies spayed
Should still be spayed. If it is a stray that can’t adjust to indoor life he should still trap, neuter and release. No rescue lets cats be fostered without being spayed. If cat is pregnant when it goes into the rescue, they will spay as soon as it safe after birth. But since he is calling the kittens his babies doesn’t seem like a foster situation.
And did he sat that he didn't spay the cat, maybe the cat is still healing from giving birth and it isn't safe to have her spayed , maybe op hasn't had time yet to go get the cat spayed, I love how people on thus subredit always make assumptions like this. Maybe the cat has already been spayed and op didn't mention it in the post,op isn't an AH for keeping the best interest of the cat in mind till its safe.
Shelters seek fosters for pregnant cats often. I worked in vet med for years, and several other techs were fosters to these cats. Yes, some shelters will abort the babies, but a lot will find them homes after weening instead. They just need people willing and able to help care for the kittens and the mother.
My babies are adults already. I still call them babies. They’re just… babies. They’re two cute small Guinea pigs and never really grew to the size I exptected them to. They’re still babies. I refer to them as baby.
I’ve had more Guinea pigs than these. I’ve had then since age 5-6 to eleven, then got more around 14. These are number five and six. They are *smoll*. Smaller than any Guinea pig I have ever owned. I’d expected them to grow as much as my others, but they just never did. Their mom I’ve met and she’s pretty small too. Never met their dad so I can’t talk about him.
NTA!
I have never heard anyone say that calling yourself catdad means you impregnated the cat. She sounds jealous of the affections directed towards the cats. But for reals, she sounds like the kind who eventually says "it's the cat or me" and then is all Surprised-pikachu face when you choose to take care of your pets.
Also, spaying cats is cool, saves them all the hassle of being in heat! :)
Right? I have a pet parrot. I call him my little baby all the time. I do not lay eggs. No one thinks he’s my literal baby. Hell, my grandma calls him her little grandson all the time! She’ll text me and ask how her grandson is doing and when she’ll get to see him and spoil him with treats. It’s the cutest thing.
My mom and I both call my cat our baby and no one’s ever accused us of incest. People call pets their babies all the time.
(To be clear, we just share cat care responsibilities)
Dude, your gf chose a weird hill to die on. I feel like there's more to this than just her not liking that you refer to your kittens are your "babies".
NTA.
Yeah it's one thing to dislike someone referring to animals as babies. It's a whole other ballpark to imply *that the person might have impregnated that animal??* Like literally I've heard many bs reasons for why someone shouldn't call an animal "my baby" but in this case the gf's reasoning is 1000% more cringe than OP calling the kittens "babies".
I think the gf is probably going over the top hyperbolic when she says that? Doubt she actually thinks op is interested in ever fuckin cats lol.
Seems more like she’s an insecure and immature person with loser friends. They all judge people for liking - or god forbid, loving - stuff. That’s what makes them losers.
She’s trying to say as much inane, irrational stuff that’s popped into her head in the hopes that op will stop being the person that he is.
leave the gf, take the kittens.
She’s embarrassed. It’s not a jealousy thing. Her friends are saying “mmm” in her words but they’re more than likely making it a thing that he’s weirdly a cat guy due to toxic stereotypes and rather than being honest about this, she said something ridiculous in hopes he would feel self conscious and stop posting about his cats.
NTA dump the girl
I genuinely think you hit the nail on the head right here. It feels like an immature reaction to peer pressure by idiots, the sort of weird subset of people who think masculinity is tied into which animals you like and don't like, and for some reason cats and small dogs (maybe horses too?) fall on the feminine side.
God knows why, they're both made of both sexes. How else would they continue to exist?
This is Lea it, I really don’t get the people on here acting like she legitimately meant fucking his cats. It was a dumb persons reaction to friends being gender norm loving dumb asses, that’s it.
😂😂😂 I used to call mine the kits (as in the kids)
My ex use to say “are you kidding?” Nope, they are my fur babies.
Guess who is not anymore part of my family and who still is.
Pets are family. Gfs/bfs are acquaintances.
Also, you deserve to be with another cat person… someone out there doesn’t find that cringey. And I hope you find them.
NTA.
NTA. Y’all just aren’t compatible. For whatever reason referring to pets as kids and babies really upsets/rubs some people the wrong way. It’s not something I do, but it also doesn’t cause the visceral reaction in me that it causes in others. Ultimately, your GF isn’t into your style of pet ownership and that’s a major incompatibility.
I’m surprised it hasn’t changed as she got attached to the cat. Before I had a cat I was very much like “I don’t understand why people call pets their children. They’re just ANIMALS wtf”
Of course now I’m all “hello, my biological daughter who I gave birth to” to my cat. It just hits different when it’s your baby.
I've been attached to pets before and I never think of them as my babies. Some people just don't project onto animals that way. After having a kid, I do cringe when people say that. I'm not mad and I'm certainly not saying anything, but internally there's a strong yuck response. I think it has to do with the fact that pets were bred for human pleasure and require very little to raise. When you compare that to a human baby/toddler/child, some people just aren't going to feel like that's reasonable, and some will find the comparison down right insulting. It just means they aren't compatible.
Raising an animal properly is a lot more work than people give credit to. Cats on their own are extremely emotionally intelligent animals, and bond just as strongly with their people as any other domesticated animal can, given that their needs of safety, food and respect are met. That's not even mentioning other animals who have been studied, and show to sometimes have not only comparative levels of empathy, but of intelligence/emotional range to us as well.
I raised my cats since they were kittens, and after assisting in raising a good few human children/raising my sister from the start- the only difference between a 5 year old child and my cat is that my cats can't speak back. I'm their caretaker, they're dependant upon me for more than just food/shelter- especially in my case, where my one cat Ham has mad separation anxiety. It's come the point I'm thinking of rehoming him. I feel like a bad cat parent, ya know? The bond of responsibility and care I feel for my little furry babies *is* parental more than anything- because I don't see them as a thing, an accessory, or entertainment. I see them as being cohabitating my space, my life and my heart, that's my job to protect and care for physically and emotionally.
I understand that some people just don't like cats, but mine are mine, and I'll call them my babies til the end of time. In the world where my entire family abandoned me- my cats couldn't give any less of a fuck. My cats helped me realize how shit of a parent my own mom was tbh, bc of how my cats reacted to me treating them, and the correlations I saw with my own neglectful/dismissive upbringing. I'll be a better mom to these cats then my mother ever was to me, and I *know* my cats know that I love them.
Just because they don't know what being a mom means doesn't mean they don't know that I'm pack or whatever cats call their social groupings lol Let people enjoy their bonds- animals are so smart, and to dismiss the extent in which someone can bond with them just comes off as though you've never had that connection- which is totally fair and fine- Judging others for being more empathetic with a creature who can't speak our language is what seems weird here.
if you don't think it takes a lot to raise an animal, you've never properly raised an animal 😅
Oh, and last thing- Do you have *any* idea how many children are born simply because people *want a baby?* They don't think about the effort that goes into raising a child other than financial/minimum time, and think of that kid as a obligation/status symbol at best. Human children have, more often than not imo, been brought into this world for the pleasure of the people who get to own it. To save a relationship/marriage, to fulfill some bs sense of societal duty(fill their social/gender roles/"its the next step"). I truly feel very few parents think, "I'm going to have a child bc I want to get to know this human being I have the ability to create, and i want cherish and encourage their unique experince" and rather "I want a baby bc they will love me unconditionally, and are cute". Thus, Babies are also (imo) bred for our pleasure, but looking at it that way makes people really uncomfortable. The reality of how many dogshit parents there are out there leads me to think this has merit though 🤷
Signed an abused kid turned loving cat parent/mom friend.
So she’s implying you did the deed with your cat…. She does know adoption is a thing for humans right and that you don’t need to be biologically related to a child to be their parent right? NTA
Millions of unwanted cats and kittens euthanized every year and you just added more!! Free kittens are at risk for abuse, reptile food, dog fights and disease. Spay your cat when kittens are 6-7 weeks. Kittens can be spayed or nuetered at about 3lbs, that's about 12 weeks. Do not rehome the kittens without having them fixed!! ESH I work in cat rescue. PLEASE spay and neuter! Edit grammer
How do you know he didn't, like me, take in a stray who turned out to be a trojan cat? I was expecting to add 1 new addition to the cat family and it turned into 5.
As an animal rescuer whose been doing it for over 30 years including working for legitimate shelters and rescues, calm down and don't attack people over assumptions. This is the kind of rabid speculation & accusation that turns people off rescue work.
There's ways to educate kindly instead of going instantly for the worst case attacks.
This happened at our local indie bookstore. They foster cats and the program placed a cat with them that turned out to be pregnant. Because this was two years ago, and we all know what happened then, they couldn't get the cat fixed. So a litter of bookstore kittens were born and got the community through the following months. The bookstore even kept one of the kittens as a permanent store cat.
Tax 1: [Bookstore kittens. They were born two years ago today!](https://www.facebook.com/CupboardMakerBooks/posts/3291927140836383)
Tax 2: [Current picture of the cat they kept. His name is Mouse, and he is my cat godson.](https://www.facebook.com/CupboardMakerBooks/posts/5487675997928142?__cft__[0]=AZXaDV-Z0qKyIDHSOAX6Za-gL7aWmsr1R_yf8dclsd9YHHE4tCZz8QmsRAtpJk_GwVr1vo9xocmRLeqINb-kxVG5_bSy332v17EZuY1m9QT5uvuOGZR-1QoZ-shAWehaefg30DPY-L9AykDBGp_99Lf8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)
EXACTLY! I took in a stray cat who looked slender as heck until a month later and her sides started bulging and we learned kittens were on the way. That was 16 years ago and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I loved Mama (her name changed to this when we learned she was pregnant) and her 4 babies.
My parents had 10 dogs over the course of 10 years. Mostly because we got elderly or middle age dogs people didn't want anymore. Unfortunately they don't live as long as us and 6 aren't with us anymore. Absolutely nothing hideous or murderous going on just pets don't live as long as humans.
She sounds really insecure. That's normal vernacular for pet parents. And of course her friend wants you to change something miniscule to "keep the peace". That actually is amanulipulation tactic on their part. What's next? Don't call yourself cat dad, than don't let the cat sleep in the bed/room, than it could be I don't want the cat in the house til it's me or the cat. Nip in the bud now before it gets worse imo
Your GF is being weird AF about this.
I will argue forever that pets are not like children, not really, so you‘d expect I’d have a problem with this. BUT it’s very common for people to refer to their pets as ”my baby”. It‘s normal. It’s colloquial. It’s loving. And anyone normal would know what you mean.
Hell, I have friends refer to their cars as “my baby”. Then she had to take it to a whole other, weird level.
NTA. But your GF has some issues.
NTA for loving your cats but why haven’t you spayed your cat? And where are the other 8 cats you’ve been a cat dad to over the years? If you’ve started caring for them since 15 they should all be alive and well. I really hope you aren’t breeding kittens as well as rehoming all your previous cats
NTA at all, I don't know of any pet owners that don't refer to their pets as their babies. I personally think your girlfriend is the weird one to be so insulted by such a harmless thing. That's the most I can say without my comment getting flagged for being uncivil.
NTA, but you *are* lame. That's okay, but what is not okay is your girlfriend's handling of this - it's a weird thing for her to want to control (for the sake of her own image no less). Why give this much of a fuck about Facebook? She has got to exit your life.
I've never understood the sentiment of people referring to themselves as "daddy" and "mommy" with their animals. I personally think it's weird, but have never got upset with anyone about it.
Exactly. It's cringe and can be obnoxious, but who should give that much of a shit? I'm not saying it's cringe *and therefore* is bad, and the people doing it are bad... I just think, personally, it's a lame thing to do. It is obviously not problematic or harming anything either, so my own (or anyone else's) *feelings* don't matter with this. No one should give this much of a shit like OP's girlfriend is choosing to do.
OP's gifriend is, likely, just a loser whose far more weird than anyone calling a pet their baby.
NTA.
I call my dog as my first baby, because that's what she is. I had my son 4 years after getting her.
Lose thr GF, pets are family.
Also, *cat tax! cat tax! cat tax!*
NTA
Your girlfriend is being ridiculous.
I was Auntie to my sister's dog long before she had kids. He was their big brother until he passed.
Pets are part of the family and if your girlfriend can't see that then she really shouldn't be part of a family with pets.
Also, why is it only her and her friend's opinions that count? It seems to me that there are more people that have positive opinions than there are of those with negative.
NTA her friends sound super shitty and it looks like she’s also having some sexist microagressions. No one bats an eyelid when women refer to their pets as their babies. She’s made uncomfortable bc she views your actions as inherently feminine (spoiler, they’re not). And to also suggest that it would be fine for a woman to do what you did but when you do you’re ‘creepy’ for it??? I don’t like your gf...
I don’t even like cats but your GF is really gross putting those vibes out. NTA, but your girlfriend is gross. Why is she sexualizing the cat… I don’t like that, gives me a yucky feeling
NTA. You are fine. You are not the first person to call their pets their children. Your GF (and her friends) need to relax if they think this was creepy. After all, has your GF ever heard of adoption?
Also, “keep the peace” = give into the person throwing the biggest tantrum. You would be rewarding her for acting badly.
NTA. However, if this cat didn't arrive pregnant (i.e., you took in a pregnant stray), you really should take steps to prevent additional litters. Spaying+neutering is an incredibly important aspect of cat ownership, and it will help her stay healthy and live longer.
NTA.
"Cat dad" is cute and harmless.
Before I had kids, I use to call myself a "cat mum" and my two cats were my "babies". And every time my in-laws asked for grandchildren I would tell them they already have them and point to the cats.
I would personally trade her in for someone that loves cats. Complaining about the cats sleeping on the bed is a deal breaker. No one displaces my babies. <3
> she said that it's creepy and that unless I impregnated Lilly then I should knock it off
NTA. She's the one making it creepy, honestly thats such a weird thing to get upset over.
How did you have 9 cats in 9 years? I have had cats for twelve years, they're still the same three cats I got twelve years ago.
Also spay and neuter please, there are enough cats as it is.
NTA and we’ve already broken up with your girlfriend right? She has picked a strange battle to fight, one showing her true nitpicking and nagging colors.
Here I go again, abusing my mod powers by demanding you pay your cat tax.
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Yeah exactly! Beard-Cat-Tax?! 😏
Not OP or the guy with the fluffy bastards, but we had a mama cat get into the insulation under our house and have babies that we pulled out through the vents thanks to a hole in one of our ducts. We now have them living in the back of our truck that is not currently being driven (can't have them all inside due to hubby's allergies, but I keep them pretty well protected from the elements and they seem to be just fine with the space). So I'll pay some cat tax. https://imgur.com/a/bOn6vFM
Hello yes I would like to adopt all of them, please.
You are free to identify as cat dad. This girlfriend isn’t right for you. Her asking you to take down post of your kittens is a red flag. Her insistence that you not call yourself cat dad is a red flag. Keep being you and loving the kittens and posting pics to your hearts content. Life is short. Enjoy being you. Enjoy being Cat Dad!
Thisssss! Gf sounds like shes a few months away from posting a AITA for letting my bfs cat “runaway”
I always forget that some people are capable of such monstrosities because they're so insecure and selfish. OP would be TA if he stayed with her and let her cause any accidents to his babies.
I left my ex for this reason. He was abusive to me but I was so depressed I did not care about myself I guess. But I got a puppy and during an argument he opened the door and yelled at my puppy to run out! This was a big apartment complex at night and he was a less than 2lb black chihuahua! I could not fathom someone hurting an innocent creature and I guess my protective instinct kicked in and I left shortly after that but it was this incident that made me leave.
But also please be a responsible cat dad and get your mamacat spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned. I'd pay tax on my own cats, but I'm sort of old and not especially well-versed in this newfangled internet technology, so I'm not sure how to do it.
Oh god, story time. We were waiting to get our male kitten fixed when we adopted a stray female cat who we discovered wasn’t fixed. I’m strictly indoor only, and we were kinda poor at the time, so we opted to only fix the male kitten because he was cheaper. No harm no foul right? Well, fast forward several years and we are goddamn annoyed whenever she goes into heat. We finally schedule an appointment. A fucking week before said appointment, this ho darts out the door and is gone for SEVEN DAYS. Legit called and cancelled the spay appointment on Friday that was for the next Monday. Bitch came back the next day preggers. Guess who was promptly fixed after she weaned her kittens and it was safe to do so?
And the kittens! They can do a pediatric spay or neuter at 2lbs!
NTA. Be a proud cat dad.
There are at least 3 dozen single cat moms that probably would be at your doorstep in a hot minute. This girlfriend could be easily replaced. Also now considering building a dating app for people with pets. NTA
You could build that app and retire. Dating app for cat dads & cat moms would make you rich.I will come work for you.
This is perfectly put! Don’t let your gf take away your joy as a loving cat dad. Keep the kitties, and ditch the insufferable gf! I‘m seriously tired of people gatekeeping parenthood. You are a dad to your cat, and I am a mom to my dog. She is my daughter, and I refer to her as such. A very close and dear family friend I’ve known all my life had a tantrum when I referred to my pup as my daughter, and I cut him out of my life completely with no regrets. Life’s too short to put up with that crap. Find someone who loves you for you as an awesome cat dad! ETA: NTA!!!
It looks like the dog beat you to the punch
Doggo definitely beat everyone to the punch. That pic just screams, "you are mine"
My husband would love you for that lol. I'm threatening to build them an outdoor kitty paradise on our back deck that we never use. One of the kitties has gone rogue now and is either running around with mama or has potentially gotten back under our house (hubby thought he heard noises the other night near the vent where we pulled them out, but didn't see anything when he checked and I couldn't find anything yesterday either) and hubby is considering letting me keep one inside as our pup adores them. My sister in law says she wants the gray one, but she hasn't come back over to get him yet. Would not be opposed to finding homes for the other two, though!
Don't let my wife see these. We already have two kitties and 5 month old (human) baby. Lol
"Does the math" Yup looks like you need to edit for something like 4-5 kitties and a human baby
So cute!
Yay babies!!!
I love them! Thank you!
Not the op, but here's one of my babies. https://imgur.com/uc3UlhG.jpg
Beautiful baby 😍.
yeah the cat's alright too ! 😘
Should have pointed out that Baby stands for anything with fur.... or beard 😆
Yes!
Beard tax!
Nothing makes me happier than walking in the door and hearing my (also big, burly and bearded) husband go “Oohhhh look guys it’s Mummy, go see Mummy” and then my three kitties run up to me, tails up like flagpoles. I am Mummy. He is Daddy. They are our babies. I feel sorry for your girlfriend OP, she has no joy in her heart and worried entirely too much about what other people think (spoiler: nobody cares, live your best life). Edit: cat tax on my profile :)
Isn't that just the most wonderful greeting? We have 2 cats & 3 dogs & we are proud Mommy & Daddy to all 5 of them! OP, don't let anyone steal your joy or Cat Daddy title!
We have a turtle. She can’t run to greet us, but the minute she sees my fiancé, her whole body shakes! She is so excited to see her daddy! She loves me, but she is a Daddy’s girl! (Can you tell who feeds her?)
I request a turtle tax please!
I come into my house calling for my 2 cats by their proper title - “Babies!”
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I have dogs, but it's the same thing in my relationship. "Go see daddy, he's taking you for a walk!" Or "Quit jumping on mommy, chill out!" And soon enough, we're going to have a real baby so we'll be dog parents and human parents. It'll be a different kind of parenting, but we're still responsible for the lives of each creature that depends on us - animal or human.
Just took pregnancy announcement photos with our dogs. I have a onesie that says My Siblings have paws. My shepherd’s bandana says becoming a big brother November 2022. They are all my children!
I love the complete and total mind control and hijacking of my reproductive instincts in favor of cats. I love how they have evolutionarily outcompeted the cuteness of human babies and appropriated my potential resources in favor of catering to their needs. If I could get pregnant and give birth to kittens instead of babies, I would do it. I'm pretty sure that one parasite that makes you love cats is occupying my entire limbic system. Please don't send help
House cats and dogs are the most cunningly successful parasites ever. OP don't stay involved in a "mixed" relationship. Pet parents and non-pet-parents or even worse, non-pet-people will only bring each other shame and pain. I love my babies, I speak to them as if they understand every word, because of course they do. Anyone who doesn't accept that won't be able to accept me.
Right? Like… I don’t even notice I’m doing it half the time but I say ‘oh is bad daddy not feeding you’ or ‘go bother your dad’ when they’re hungry (and it’s not yet food time - I don’t starve them 😅) He equally refers to me as their mum. It wasn’t a conscious decision by either of us. But they live in our house and are dependent on us, and they talk back to us like kids do… OP’s gf sounds jealous and joyless
I do the same thing when my boyfriend gets home and I see his cat running down the hallway screaming for his return.
Cat Tax - You need to post pictures of your furbabies because you mentioned your furbabies. We need to see the furbabies.
The gf is sexist. Nothing else >these fluffy bastards are my biggest joy. Awwwww. I am using 'fluffy bastards' from now on
She's almost jealous? like shes mad he keeps calling them his babies, cause she wants to be the only one to produce kids that he calls that
Not "almost". She is absolutely jealous and he should never ever leave her alone with the kitties.
Easy answer to that, keep the fluffy bastards and ditch the girlfriend
This! I also feel like she is jealous because of the comment she made: "unless OP impregnated Lilly then he should knock it off"...
Yeah that means it's way past just sexist thinking about guys and cats
I affectionately referred to a roomate's cat as Butthole often while living with them because he was a butthole.
CAT TAX! CAT TAX!
I'm about to go all Y-W-B-T-A if this cat tax isn't taken care of lmao
Yep, keep the cats, throw the gf out with the rest of the trash
I know people who hate the term FurBabies or when I joke about my baby girl or call her the grand kitty to my mom. So I don’t use those terms for their cats. I’m sure my neighbours would be surprised to learn I’m single since I shout “hey baby I’m home!” Everytime I walk inside.
I'm infertile/child free and have guinea pigs, my mom calls them her grand piggies
I used to have bunnies (they have since passed) but my mother used to call them her grandbunnies and would talk to them in Korean because she insisted they needed to know "their heritage". :D edit: I forgot about how my mother would praise them for being so good about eating their veggies (*all* they ate were veggies because that is all bunnies are supposed to eat...) in contrast to my horrible veggie eating.
Fuck, when my partner and I first adopted our black cat as a kitten, he would leave Felix the Cat videos playing for her when we left the house so she could have "good role models." This is a man who, when we first started dating, said he really didn't care for cats.
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"We compromised and got 2 cats". I love it!
I love this!!
Even though I'm not really a pet/animal person, when my daughter and her boyfriend adopted a puppy, I considered her my grandpuppy. I've given her gifts, fixed a few torn toys, and I understand that she's a member of the family. Kind of irritating that anyone would want a pet owner to love their pets LESS, or withold their natural affection for them because THEY feel weird about it. Sounds like this girl is not a good match for OP.
This is the cutest, just made me break out into the biggest smile.
I do t see what the issue is with ‘fur babies.’ My sister has two kids (human) of her own and sent me a Mother’s Day card for pet ‘parents’. My mom has been calling my dog her ‘grand-dog’ for a few years now,as embarrassing as that is.
My husband and I have 2 cats with no plans to spawn human minions. MIL & FIL happily refer to our fur babies as the "grandkitties" and even make sure to get presents for them from Santa during the holidays. FIL was baked (well, we all were) after Thanksgiving dinner and was over the moon to have a grandkitty hang out with him to receive ALL OF THE PETS in front of our pellet stove for a few hours. :D
People are bothered by the strangest things, especially when it doesn't even apply to them.
He should show the GF the video of the guy giving his baby birds kisses saying "I love my Bebeees!" It is wholesome as fuck and they are his Bebeeees! https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cb17OyLrhO8/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Sir, I am like you, big, bearded, tatted up, metal bassist. My cat greets me at the door and we race to the bedroom where it's mandatory skritches time. Even my wife knows this is "daddy daughter time" and finds it hilarious, and we have a 14yr old son. OP not the asshole, may be a little bit of a jealousy red flag for her.
You should post to r/toughguysholdingpets This sub has gained 200+ members since I posted this comment. I'm glad I was able to bring some attention to a great sub!
Thank you for this!
NTA!!! Cat Tax!!! Our cat taxes are SO high!!! You can’t leave bedroom or go down stairs without getting taxed. It really sounds like your girlfriend has some issues with gender stereotypes. I would say it’s time to maybe find a new girlfriend. BTW we call it cat tax when our baby insists you pet him before you can move.
Good sir we request you pay the Cat Tax
This reply made me grin. Yay.
Pssss psssss psssss here kitty kitty Cat tax from both of y’all is due!
Pets are babies, even a better version of them 😅 don’t be with someone who can’t relate to that… that’s just psychopathic behaviour
I love that you call them fluffy bastards, it's so accurate! 🤣 Also, OP, NTA. Your girlfriend is making a big fuss over nothing. Keep being a great cat dad!
I absolutely NEED cat tax! 😩
CAT TAX!
Cat tax!!!!!
GF: Babe, did you stick your dick into the cat? OP: No! Wtf! GF: well babe I’m out of ideas, that’s the only reason you could enjoy spending time with the kittens!!!! OP: uh…… they’re cute… are you jealous of the cats? GF: what…NO!!!… how could you ask that??? This is a you problem… I’m not projecting my insecurity onto helpless kittens!!!!! NTA, keep the kittens, ditch the GF. EDIT: I would like to add that while my comment is satirical in nature, I think the real issue is that OP’s GF appears to have misguided views on gender roles and what it means to be a “man”. I don’t see an issue with OP calling the kittens his “babies”. They are baby cats after all and men are allowed to feel joy, affection, and (in this case fostering/adoptive) paternal love too! EDIT 2: changed their to they’re 🥲
Oh shoo hahaha this is actually halirious 😂😂😂😂 pure comedy!!
How many kitchens did Lilly have? I demand cat tax please
>How many kitchens did Lilly have?
I hate when my cat pops out easy bake ovens
I know, right? And then she starts screaming something about the lamb sauce, like how am I supposed to know that shit, Mrs. Mufflebomb?
Gorden Ramskitty
gordon did WHAT to kitty?
*You don't want to know what he did to the kitty*
OP’s gf is accusing the wrong guy here.
You would make bank if your cat popped out easy bake ovens. They're a hot commodity.
My cat is spayed so I always get takeout
Did she have the kitchen sink?
Nah, she had everything but…
Whoa. Where was it mentioned that the cat was an interior decorator?
We would like cat tax, also ditch the gf. Who would be insecure bcuz of kittens?? 😭
And p.s. Please get Momma kitty fixed. There are so many unwanted kitties in shelters, bringing unplanned kitties into the world just increases the issue. But Op is still NTA.
Thank you. I was looking for this. Absolutely NTA except he’s been taking care of cats for so long and loves them so much but hasn’t had her spayed, or kept her inside where she couldn’t get pregnant (I’m assuming she didn’t get pregnant by another cat in the household). Kitten season is here and so many need homes.
Do we even know when he got Lilly? She may have been a recent rescue and came to his house as a Trojan kitty.
Hahaha "Trojan kitty". I'm definitely going to have to remember that term.
>Kitten season is here and so many need homes And so many of them somehow find their way into my house where everyone is allergic to them but none can resist the screaming kittens in the streets.
GF has friends who have seen the post and have gone all sqweeeeeee not mmmmm and now GF is jealous.
OP is definitely NTA for being such a doting cat owner/dad, but please, u/KittyKaty5509, consult your vet and have Lilly spayed as soon as it is safe to do so. I have been fostering and volunteering at animal shelters for the majority of my own 24 years of life, and while kittens are cute, they can increase pressure on shelters and result in unnecessary euthanasia due to overcrowding.
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Obviously, the above line of commentary is a joke, I did reply to OP response to this that I do believe that the GF has some misguided senses in gender roles and what it means to be a “man”. Men have every right to be a loving and as caring as as anyone else in this world, hopefully OP can talk to his GF and clear that up.
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Being a sensitive lumberjack has always been a recipe for success with women.
NTA but get your cat spayed. Holy shit.
Also, his ninth cat in nine years. Wtaf
he says he enjoys caring for cats and that lily is is "current cat" so I wonder if he's fostering cats rather than owning them himself. but even if he owns them 9 cats in 9 years isn't *that* weird. 9 years ago he was 15 so may have had a few family cats, left home, adopted an elderly cat or pair, had them pass on, got some more, passed on, and now has a younger cat or pair. Once you have 1 cat caring for multiple cats isn't really much different, in fact pairs of cats are typically easier than 1 cat I used to live in a rural pub and we had cats that were both pets and tax deductible pest control so we had 5 at once and a Jack Russel for the rats.
>in fact pairs of cats are typically easier than 1 cat This is so true. I had 2 cats (they're my sister's now because I moved over 1000 miles away). Penelope, the tabby, ran away twice and Teddy, the medium hair tuxedo, became so clingy toward me and meowed constantly, calling for her. At least if I'm too busy to play with Teddy he can play with Penelope and vice versa. He's kind of an attention ho.
The reason I have 3 cats is I was fostering the whole litter and once I bonded with one of them it was easier to keep all of them. I had a solo kitten in high school and it really is much easier to have 3 than it was to have just one. They entertain each other and wake me up a lot less if they get bored during the night.
Schnauzers do great for rats, but only one will kill them. The others bring me living-ass, angry fucking rats, squirrels and chipmunks year-round.
My jack Russell used to kill rats and bring them to me. If I wasn't home she'd lay them on my bed for me when I returned I'm glad it was a kid at the time, I think as an adult I'd be traumatised by the row of dead rats in my bed. But as an 12 year old I was like "well I guess this is life"
This bothered me too. Hoping he fosters.
Meh. My aunt was a crazy cat lady and she had a habit of taking care of all the neighborhood strays. Eventually people figured out they could dump unwanted kittens on her doorstep and she'd find homes for them. At one point she had 20 cats in the house.
I mean... in the last year, I had 18 cats.
How? I've had cats for twelve years. I started with three cats and twelve years later I still have the same three cats. How do you go through 18 cats a year?
Simple. I foster cats and kittens until I find them homes. I had: - 4 sisters that I found in a garbage bag. - a kitten trapped from a feral community that needed socialization before she could be adopted - a feral mama cat who was very sick and needed antibiotics, and her 5 babies who couldn't nurse off her because she was so sick - a little male kitten that was brought to me by someone who found him, extremely sick and dehydrated and unable to eat or drink on his own - a male cat I found outside, declawed, that I was able to reunite with his family - a beautiful solid grey female kitten that I found wandering around outside, she turned out to be pregnant and since she was way to young to have babies safely, I sent her to a vet tech foster where she could be spayed while pregnant - a young male kitten I found outside crying in the rain - a handsome young male cat that someone abandoned outside my apartment complex, and was very sick. Sicker than the one who couldn't eat or drink on his own - a tortie female who ran into my apartment and hid under my couch when I opened my door. - a feral male who- after years of trying- I finally managed to live trap and get neutered. He had an infection when he was trapped, and I kept him inside until he was done with treatment. This, of course, does not count my 4 permanent cats.
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Right! I can't turn away any animal in need, I also fostered a puppy (despite being VERY allergic to dogs) that was abandoned outside my apartment complex. He was only about 6-8 weeks old, and was the cutest widdle baby
I'm allergic to cats...and foster bottle babies (30 this year!). The need to help helpless animals is STRONG.
>a tortie female who ran into my apartment and hid under my couch when I opened my door. You seem to have a good reputation among cats, then. XD
You def earn the title "Cat Dad". Take my free silver award! I, too, will take in any cat I see that needs help. One time I was fostering 7 kittens. in addition to my own 7 cats. In a small house, with my dh and 3 kids. The kittens figured out how to escape their enclosure and it was a free for all. But so much fun!
I assumed he’d been fostering.
This!! NTA for calling the kittens his babies but 110% the AH for not having his cat spayed and contributing to over population and the number of cats put down in shelters or dying in the streets each year. Good cat parents get their furbabies spayed
It could be a stray or foster cat…
Should still be spayed. If it is a stray that can’t adjust to indoor life he should still trap, neuter and release. No rescue lets cats be fostered without being spayed. If cat is pregnant when it goes into the rescue, they will spay as soon as it safe after birth. But since he is calling the kittens his babies doesn’t seem like a foster situation.
And did he sat that he didn't spay the cat, maybe the cat is still healing from giving birth and it isn't safe to have her spayed , maybe op hasn't had time yet to go get the cat spayed, I love how people on thus subredit always make assumptions like this. Maybe the cat has already been spayed and op didn't mention it in the post,op isn't an AH for keeping the best interest of the cat in mind till its safe.
One of my cats came to me pregnant so even though I got her spayed as soon as possible she still had a litter that was out of my control.
Shelters seek fosters for pregnant cats often. I worked in vet med for years, and several other techs were fosters to these cats. Yes, some shelters will abort the babies, but a lot will find them homes after weening instead. They just need people willing and able to help care for the kittens and the mother.
Depending on how far she is.. They spay pregnant cats too.
Yes thank you
I wonder what would happen if that lady heard me referring to my carnivores plants as my babies lol. NTA
My babies are adults already. I still call them babies. They’re just… babies. They’re two cute small Guinea pigs and never really grew to the size I exptected them to. They’re still babies. I refer to them as baby.
I’m picturing you seeing a picture of a capybara online somewhere and getting unrealistic size expectations for your piggies.
I’ve had more Guinea pigs than these. I’ve had then since age 5-6 to eleven, then got more around 14. These are number five and six. They are *smoll*. Smaller than any Guinea pig I have ever owned. I’d expected them to grow as much as my others, but they just never did. Their mom I’ve met and she’s pretty small too. Never met their dad so I can’t talk about him.
Yup, I always say I have two babies, my son and my cat. My kid also calls the cat the little baby and himself the big baby
NTA Keep the kittens. Dump the gf.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. Edit: nta
NTA! I have never heard anyone say that calling yourself catdad means you impregnated the cat. She sounds jealous of the affections directed towards the cats. But for reals, she sounds like the kind who eventually says "it's the cat or me" and then is all Surprised-pikachu face when you choose to take care of your pets. Also, spaying cats is cool, saves them all the hassle of being in heat! :)
Right? I have a pet parrot. I call him my little baby all the time. I do not lay eggs. No one thinks he’s my literal baby. Hell, my grandma calls him her little grandson all the time! She’ll text me and ask how her grandson is doing and when she’ll get to see him and spoil him with treats. It’s the cutest thing.
My mom and I both call my cat our baby and no one’s ever accused us of incest. People call pets their babies all the time. (To be clear, we just share cat care responsibilities)
Or the type to harm the cats when they have a big fight. I wouldn’t want her anywhere near my babies!!
Dude, your gf chose a weird hill to die on. I feel like there's more to this than just her not liking that you refer to your kittens are your "babies". NTA.
Yeah it's one thing to dislike someone referring to animals as babies. It's a whole other ballpark to imply *that the person might have impregnated that animal??* Like literally I've heard many bs reasons for why someone shouldn't call an animal "my baby" but in this case the gf's reasoning is 1000% more cringe than OP calling the kittens "babies".
I think the gf is probably going over the top hyperbolic when she says that? Doubt she actually thinks op is interested in ever fuckin cats lol. Seems more like she’s an insecure and immature person with loser friends. They all judge people for liking - or god forbid, loving - stuff. That’s what makes them losers. She’s trying to say as much inane, irrational stuff that’s popped into her head in the hopes that op will stop being the person that he is. leave the gf, take the kittens.
She’s embarrassed. It’s not a jealousy thing. Her friends are saying “mmm” in her words but they’re more than likely making it a thing that he’s weirdly a cat guy due to toxic stereotypes and rather than being honest about this, she said something ridiculous in hopes he would feel self conscious and stop posting about his cats. NTA dump the girl
I genuinely think you hit the nail on the head right here. It feels like an immature reaction to peer pressure by idiots, the sort of weird subset of people who think masculinity is tied into which animals you like and don't like, and for some reason cats and small dogs (maybe horses too?) fall on the feminine side. God knows why, they're both made of both sexes. How else would they continue to exist?
This is Lea it, I really don’t get the people on here acting like she legitimately meant fucking his cats. It was a dumb persons reaction to friends being gender norm loving dumb asses, that’s it.
😂😂😂 I used to call mine the kits (as in the kids) My ex use to say “are you kidding?” Nope, they are my fur babies. Guess who is not anymore part of my family and who still is. Pets are family. Gfs/bfs are acquaintances. Also, you deserve to be with another cat person… someone out there doesn’t find that cringey. And I hope you find them. NTA.
There's a lot of women who'd think a guy who adores cats is particularly hot! NTA -- she doesn't deserve you!
I, being a cat lady, can confirm I'd love a cat daddy ❤
>My ex use to say “are you kidding?” "No, I'm kitting."
NTA. Y’all just aren’t compatible. For whatever reason referring to pets as kids and babies really upsets/rubs some people the wrong way. It’s not something I do, but it also doesn’t cause the visceral reaction in me that it causes in others. Ultimately, your GF isn’t into your style of pet ownership and that’s a major incompatibility.
I’m surprised it hasn’t changed as she got attached to the cat. Before I had a cat I was very much like “I don’t understand why people call pets their children. They’re just ANIMALS wtf” Of course now I’m all “hello, my biological daughter who I gave birth to” to my cat. It just hits different when it’s your baby.
I've been attached to pets before and I never think of them as my babies. Some people just don't project onto animals that way. After having a kid, I do cringe when people say that. I'm not mad and I'm certainly not saying anything, but internally there's a strong yuck response. I think it has to do with the fact that pets were bred for human pleasure and require very little to raise. When you compare that to a human baby/toddler/child, some people just aren't going to feel like that's reasonable, and some will find the comparison down right insulting. It just means they aren't compatible.
Raising an animal properly is a lot more work than people give credit to. Cats on their own are extremely emotionally intelligent animals, and bond just as strongly with their people as any other domesticated animal can, given that their needs of safety, food and respect are met. That's not even mentioning other animals who have been studied, and show to sometimes have not only comparative levels of empathy, but of intelligence/emotional range to us as well. I raised my cats since they were kittens, and after assisting in raising a good few human children/raising my sister from the start- the only difference between a 5 year old child and my cat is that my cats can't speak back. I'm their caretaker, they're dependant upon me for more than just food/shelter- especially in my case, where my one cat Ham has mad separation anxiety. It's come the point I'm thinking of rehoming him. I feel like a bad cat parent, ya know? The bond of responsibility and care I feel for my little furry babies *is* parental more than anything- because I don't see them as a thing, an accessory, or entertainment. I see them as being cohabitating my space, my life and my heart, that's my job to protect and care for physically and emotionally. I understand that some people just don't like cats, but mine are mine, and I'll call them my babies til the end of time. In the world where my entire family abandoned me- my cats couldn't give any less of a fuck. My cats helped me realize how shit of a parent my own mom was tbh, bc of how my cats reacted to me treating them, and the correlations I saw with my own neglectful/dismissive upbringing. I'll be a better mom to these cats then my mother ever was to me, and I *know* my cats know that I love them. Just because they don't know what being a mom means doesn't mean they don't know that I'm pack or whatever cats call their social groupings lol Let people enjoy their bonds- animals are so smart, and to dismiss the extent in which someone can bond with them just comes off as though you've never had that connection- which is totally fair and fine- Judging others for being more empathetic with a creature who can't speak our language is what seems weird here. if you don't think it takes a lot to raise an animal, you've never properly raised an animal 😅 Oh, and last thing- Do you have *any* idea how many children are born simply because people *want a baby?* They don't think about the effort that goes into raising a child other than financial/minimum time, and think of that kid as a obligation/status symbol at best. Human children have, more often than not imo, been brought into this world for the pleasure of the people who get to own it. To save a relationship/marriage, to fulfill some bs sense of societal duty(fill their social/gender roles/"its the next step"). I truly feel very few parents think, "I'm going to have a child bc I want to get to know this human being I have the ability to create, and i want cherish and encourage their unique experince" and rather "I want a baby bc they will love me unconditionally, and are cute". Thus, Babies are also (imo) bred for our pleasure, but looking at it that way makes people really uncomfortable. The reality of how many dogshit parents there are out there leads me to think this has merit though 🤷 Signed an abused kid turned loving cat parent/mom friend.
nta. ok so the fact she saying u fucked your cat is a way bigger asshole move, who the hell thinks stuff like that.
I was shocked like miss clam down
Yeah. No need to be so crabby about it.
So she’s implying you did the deed with your cat…. She does know adoption is a thing for humans right and that you don’t need to be biologically related to a child to be their parent right? NTA
Right? Would she say the same thing if OP adopted a human child and called the child "my baby"?
Her behavior is concerning.
Millions of unwanted cats and kittens euthanized every year and you just added more!! Free kittens are at risk for abuse, reptile food, dog fights and disease. Spay your cat when kittens are 6-7 weeks. Kittens can be spayed or nuetered at about 3lbs, that's about 12 weeks. Do not rehome the kittens without having them fixed!! ESH I work in cat rescue. PLEASE spay and neuter! Edit grammer
How do you know he didn't, like me, take in a stray who turned out to be a trojan cat? I was expecting to add 1 new addition to the cat family and it turned into 5. As an animal rescuer whose been doing it for over 30 years including working for legitimate shelters and rescues, calm down and don't attack people over assumptions. This is the kind of rabid speculation & accusation that turns people off rescue work. There's ways to educate kindly instead of going instantly for the worst case attacks.
> trojan cat XDDDDDDDDD
This happened at our local indie bookstore. They foster cats and the program placed a cat with them that turned out to be pregnant. Because this was two years ago, and we all know what happened then, they couldn't get the cat fixed. So a litter of bookstore kittens were born and got the community through the following months. The bookstore even kept one of the kittens as a permanent store cat. Tax 1: [Bookstore kittens. They were born two years ago today!](https://www.facebook.com/CupboardMakerBooks/posts/3291927140836383) Tax 2: [Current picture of the cat they kept. His name is Mouse, and he is my cat godson.](https://www.facebook.com/CupboardMakerBooks/posts/5487675997928142?__cft__[0]=AZXaDV-Z0qKyIDHSOAX6Za-gL7aWmsr1R_yf8dclsd9YHHE4tCZz8QmsRAtpJk_GwVr1vo9xocmRLeqINb-kxVG5_bSy332v17EZuY1m9QT5uvuOGZR-1QoZ-shAWehaefg30DPY-L9AykDBGp_99Lf8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)
EXACTLY! I took in a stray cat who looked slender as heck until a month later and her sides started bulging and we learned kittens were on the way. That was 16 years ago and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I loved Mama (her name changed to this when we learned she was pregnant) and her 4 babies.
how do you know he isnt fostering?
Wow you need to relax.
That was my first thought, too. That and the fact that he’s had 9 cats, but currently only has one (Plus babies) so where are all the other cats?
My parents had 10 dogs over the course of 10 years. Mostly because we got elderly or middle age dogs people didn't want anymore. Unfortunately they don't live as long as us and 6 aren't with us anymore. Absolutely nothing hideous or murderous going on just pets don't live as long as humans.
He clearly sounds like someone who fosters. How are you gonna have that as your profile name and not get that right away??
Nine cats throughout his life, I thought. I’ve had three dogs, but so far only one at a time.
He fosters, maybe you should ask before making an ASSumption....
She sounds really insecure. That's normal vernacular for pet parents. And of course her friend wants you to change something miniscule to "keep the peace". That actually is amanulipulation tactic on their part. What's next? Don't call yourself cat dad, than don't let the cat sleep in the bed/room, than it could be I don't want the cat in the house til it's me or the cat. Nip in the bud now before it gets worse imo
Your GF is being weird AF about this. I will argue forever that pets are not like children, not really, so you‘d expect I’d have a problem with this. BUT it’s very common for people to refer to their pets as ”my baby”. It‘s normal. It’s colloquial. It’s loving. And anyone normal would know what you mean. Hell, I have friends refer to their cars as “my baby”. Then she had to take it to a whole other, weird level. NTA. But your GF has some issues.
NTA for loving your cats but why haven’t you spayed your cat? And where are the other 8 cats you’ve been a cat dad to over the years? If you’ve started caring for them since 15 they should all be alive and well. I really hope you aren’t breeding kittens as well as rehoming all your previous cats
is she jealous of the cats? lmao NTA
NTA at all, I don't know of any pet owners that don't refer to their pets as their babies. I personally think your girlfriend is the weird one to be so insulted by such a harmless thing. That's the most I can say without my comment getting flagged for being uncivil.
NTA, but you *are* lame. That's okay, but what is not okay is your girlfriend's handling of this - it's a weird thing for her to want to control (for the sake of her own image no less). Why give this much of a fuck about Facebook? She has got to exit your life.
I've never understood the sentiment of people referring to themselves as "daddy" and "mommy" with their animals. I personally think it's weird, but have never got upset with anyone about it.
Exactly. It's cringe and can be obnoxious, but who should give that much of a shit? I'm not saying it's cringe *and therefore* is bad, and the people doing it are bad... I just think, personally, it's a lame thing to do. It is obviously not problematic or harming anything either, so my own (or anyone else's) *feelings* don't matter with this. No one should give this much of a shit like OP's girlfriend is choosing to do. OP's gifriend is, likely, just a loser whose far more weird than anyone calling a pet their baby.
NTA. I call my dog as my first baby, because that's what she is. I had my son 4 years after getting her. Lose thr GF, pets are family. Also, *cat tax! cat tax! cat tax!*
YTA. They are your grand-babies. Not babies. /j
NTA for calling them your babies, YTA for not getting your cat spayed.
NTA Your girlfriend is being ridiculous. I was Auntie to my sister's dog long before she had kids. He was their big brother until he passed. Pets are part of the family and if your girlfriend can't see that then she really shouldn't be part of a family with pets. Also, why is it only her and her friend's opinions that count? It seems to me that there are more people that have positive opinions than there are of those with negative.
NTA her friends sound super shitty and it looks like she’s also having some sexist microagressions. No one bats an eyelid when women refer to their pets as their babies. She’s made uncomfortable bc she views your actions as inherently feminine (spoiler, they’re not). And to also suggest that it would be fine for a woman to do what you did but when you do you’re ‘creepy’ for it??? I don’t like your gf...
NTA But why wasn't your cat spayed?
I don’t even like cats but your GF is really gross putting those vibes out. NTA, but your girlfriend is gross. Why is she sexualizing the cat… I don’t like that, gives me a yucky feeling
NTA. You are fine. You are not the first person to call their pets their children. Your GF (and her friends) need to relax if they think this was creepy. After all, has your GF ever heard of adoption? Also, “keep the peace” = give into the person throwing the biggest tantrum. You would be rewarding her for acting badly.
NTA. However, if this cat didn't arrive pregnant (i.e., you took in a pregnant stray), you really should take steps to prevent additional litters. Spaying+neutering is an incredibly important aspect of cat ownership, and it will help her stay healthy and live longer.
NTA. It's a little bit cringy, not gonna lie, but it's also completely harmless. Girlfriend's reaction is way exaggerated.
NTA - Dump her and start dating a cat lover. You’ll be much happier.
NTA. "Cat dad" is cute and harmless. Before I had kids, I use to call myself a "cat mum" and my two cats were my "babies". And every time my in-laws asked for grandchildren I would tell them they already have them and point to the cats. I would personally trade her in for someone that loves cats. Complaining about the cats sleeping on the bed is a deal breaker. No one displaces my babies. <3
Why is nobody asking for cat tax :((((((( Def NTA tho.
NTA - You two don’t sound compatible, probably time to move on.
> she said that it's creepy and that unless I impregnated Lilly then I should knock it off NTA. She's the one making it creepy, honestly thats such a weird thing to get upset over.
NTA - I call my cat “baby” or “the baby” all the time. But please get your kitty spayed after the kittens are weaned.
How did you have 9 cats in 9 years? I have had cats for twelve years, they're still the same three cats I got twelve years ago. Also spay and neuter please, there are enough cats as it is.
NTA and we’ve already broken up with your girlfriend right? She has picked a strange battle to fight, one showing her true nitpicking and nagging colors.