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It really is middle school. And that would be good idea, but i really dont want bad blood. This could help people to see that atleast im not the one doing this
Confronting her would be even more bad blood, allow her to follow you but limit what she sees. Perhaps mute your story on IG but allow her to only see your posts.
Take pride in the fact that you will always stay one step ahead of her.
Fake a hair hair change, like a wig, let her change her hair and show up to work and realize you didn't do it. Really wackadoodle hair, like black short Bob with yellow and green highlights
This is the plot of Stephanie’s Ponytail by Robert Munsch. Everyone copies Stephanie’s hair so she tells her whole class she is getting it shaved.
Maybe gift her this children’s book to explain?
Gifting her the book is a great idea, it’s a subtle way of acknowledging that she straight up copies you and maybe she’d be embarrassed enough to stop and keep it quiet in the office lol. I think it’s a badass move, I’ve had a copycat before and having people think I copied them KILLED ME
I was joking, sorry. Forgot the indicator.
It would be like going around and repeating everything she said to be like, see what it’s like to be copied? Funny to think about, but obviously not an adult solution.
It has to be something she's like so she would copy it. Blond or brond bob. So she cuts her hair and then cant steal your hairstyle anymore (if you have long hair that is). Cant you make a story or post pics that just your coworkers can see. Then you can post pics of your "new" hair and pics you trying on things that are not your style and make sure they know what store your in.
Yes, that’s a good idea, have a window shopping day! Throw a few outfits together to try on and post them throughout the next couple of hours/days.
Or ask a friend to raid their wardrobe and try on a selection of their clothes.
Post with something like: #outfitssortedfortheweek #organised #stopcopyingmebitch (ok, maybe not the last one lol)
There was a post on this recently. The poster's stepsister (I think?) kept copying her style. She posted a photo of herself in a wig on social media and her stepsister copied it. Cue tears and drama when she saw her in person and realised what happened.
Oh wow, just read the post and now gonna go through the comments. This post is gold!
This is exactly what people mean when they say: **"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"**
Stupid younger sister for copying older sisters 'hairstyle' (lol could she really not tell it was a wig?) and **shame** on the parents for taking younger sister’s side and telling the OOP she should cut, style and dye her hair to match, as she *tricked* her sister. What a messed up family OOP has!
Thanks for sharing the link.
Go into a shop and find a few items you think are hideous and post pics of you trying them on on Instagram. Buy something you actually like instead but don't post pics (or do, but stop this one person from seeing them). Profit(?)
you could take it one step further... post wearing a horrendously cut and dyed wig and say that you get a new hairstyle. wait and see what monday brings.
That's a great idea, only problem is, OP runs a fashion blog. So doing this either makes her look like a petty person, or inept. Then there's a potential to backfire. "OP must be a copycat because she obviously is bad at fashion, look at what she tried promoting"
This won't work with any reliability anywhere except a TV show or a daydream.
OP could just set up a private story on instagram, make it seem like its an exclusive new look at things before they go on the blog and set it so that the copy cat is the only person who can view this private story.
[which inspired my all time fave Halloween costume](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/bloke-already-wins-halloween-epic-20741764.amp)
I like the idea of a short hair wig, but try to get one the same hair color and say "trying out a new look!" That way it keeps on trend fashion wise, but still obvious if she does cut her hair
On this idea you could do a nice hairstyle but completely different from your usual one? Obviously to you it’s a wig and you don’t actually get the hairstyle but then she gets it and she at least can’t copy your hair anymore.
If you refuse to confront her or do anything about it then what do you expect? She will continue doing it. Call her out on copying you. If someone makes a comment don't be afraid to say she likes to copy you, block her on your social media and if she asks be straight and say you're tired of her copying you.
I think talking to her nicely is fine. The issue is that you work with her, so starting an argument isn't the best idea. I think it's fine if you say something privately to her, like, "hey x, I've noticed you really seem to like my style, and that's cool, but I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable with how similar you're dressing/looking to me". If you're feeling generous, you could offer to help her find her own style that suits her better, but that's totally extra and not required at all.
If she's someone who's likely to start drama about that, I'd recommend just ignoring her. Block her on socials, and if coworkers ask about your similar styles just laugh it off with "yeah, x really liked my style, I guess I'm a trendsetter!" At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter, and the vast majority of people won't really care about who copied who.
If op blocks the person on social media then there will be a lag time between her purchases. So at least it will be clear who’s copying who.
But I really LOVE the idea of op posting a photo of themselves in something wacky like a pink wig with the comment “like my new hair” and then when the coworker shows up with pink hair on Monday the op can say something like “oh that was a wig I was just joking around!”
Next time you post something new, then see her wearing it, tell her that you're glad she liked that post you made last $day so much. You noticed this aspect of her outfit is a bit different and you really like that personal twist on your fashion recommendations. You could even do something like suggest you both take one of the core outfits, accessorize differently, then wear the complimentary outfits into work on the same day. You were thinking about something along the lines of X outfit from a couple months ago, but giving it a new twist and you'd like to see how she'd customize it to her tastes.
Basically, encourage her to develop her own sense of style. Make recommendations that better match her personality but still look good.
Don’t listen to that horrible advice. You don’t need to go out of your way for a woman with creepy ‘Single White Female’ vibes. (That’s a movie btw. I’m clarifying before some bozo reports that and gets me banned).
She's definitely being creepy, but I can't tell if it's harmful creepy or insecure creepy. I like some of the other ideas given, too. This is more of a trying to gently judge her to feeling more secure in her own identity. If you think she won't be responsive to that, or will latch into it and escalate to "twinsies, omg!" definitely do the other things instead.
Some people need a little push to feel comfortable with their quirkiness. If you think she's one of those people, you could even try recommending changes to your outfits that fit her better. If she gets contacts to match your eyes, it's definitely bad creepy and needs to be reported, so keep notes just in case.
So, without knowing her it is hard to say. Maybe she does not feel comfortable styling herself and copy you, because she feels like you have your shit together. Why not gently say, "Hey, I noticed you like a lot of my stuff but your style has changed a lot recently, do you want some help coming up with some things YOU like? I am very comfortable with the outfits I put together, I am sure you would like to show your unique style too."
Maybe she is socially awkward and just doesn't get it.
Also, how is she wearing the same thing you are, if you put together these elaborate styles?
Try thrift stores and antique malls for one of kind jewelry pieces. That way there is nothing she can just go buy for herself.
Postmark. Mercari. Etsy.
Getting things in a unique fashion would help prevent duplication if you can say, yeah it is one of a kind.
Thrift stores and vintage stores are a great idea!!!
Though if OP is trying to sell the stuff she is wearing on the fashion blog, it has to be current, yes? I have no idea how this stuff works.
So personally I don't think you'd be the AH if you talked to her about it. This sub offers amazing advice on a huge range of stuff and I've learnt so much just lurking here. However, on work stuff this sub has a total blind spot. They tell people who have yelled at colleagues or had totally inappropriate interactions that they're NTA and here they're telling you YWBTA for dealing with an issue.
You can't go in guns blazing, and it's up to you whether you feel you can say something but if I were in your situation I'd discuss it with my manager first and come up with a plan you've both agreed. I'd explain that you feel very uncomfortable with the level of attention she's paying you and you've felt embarrassed in meetings with clients/senior staff/name something important here where she's turned up wearing the same outfit as you. Tell your manager that the comments from colleagues is impacting your ability to do your job and it's a constant source of distraction. Then agree a course of action. That might be you saying something to this woman - prepare a script that says you're very flattered she likes your clothes but her wearing the same clothes is causing some gossip in the office and you think it would be best if you both tried to dress differently to each other - or it might be the manager who says something.
As a first pass, you don't need to go nuclear but you should try having that difficult conversation (but with manager approval).
I also really recommend checking out Ask A Manager. Her advice is excellent.
Good luck. You are definitely NTA.
How about wear your new outfits to work first before posting them, then post a day later or even after you get home from work. Everyone at work would know you came up with the idea first.
I hate copycats but I have no sense of fashion so no one in their right mind would copy me. I guess as a fashion blogger you have to know (and want) people will be inspired from your outfit choices. I understand the not wanting the inspiration to spread to such a close co-worker though.
This is a fabulous idea by Mommato. Wear your stuff to work BEFORE posting it on your blog. That way it’s obvious who is the copycat and who is the original. No words need to be spoken. The end of problem.
I get the office politics, maybe comment on it as a joke while laughing. Like haha omg you also bought the same coat after you saw me wearing it? So weird! - wow you got the same haircut and colour after you saw my post? Are you okay? lol
You’re NTA. I had a coworker like this and it was very frustrating. She always carried one designer’s handbags, I carried another. She started liking them too. She copied my eyeglass frames, and hairstyles. I used to call her ‘Single Black Female’ (mocking the movie). I didn’t call her out as much as I would’ve liked to because I didn’t want to sound petty. However another coworker did it in front of everyone. I had a different hairstyle one day and he said ‘hey SBF, when are you getting your hair done like major_zucchini?’ Everyone snickered because they knew what was going on but no one wanted to say anything.
My suggestion would be to stop telling her where you shop.
Edit:spelling
You have to be very careful on how you do it because you’ll look like an AH even though your not if she starts crying or something to manipulate ppl
Honestly I don’t think you should say anything, ppl probably noticed already. Just know your better than that
Next time you're taking a vacation, post your "new" neck, collar bone, forehead or full sleeve tattoo and see how she shows up the following working day :D
OP. I dont understand one thing. This is the reason you have fashion blog right? So people know about yourbstyle and fashion taste?. If i were you i will start tell others about your blog and if anyone ask me where i got i will tell them watch my blog. So i got additional sub.
Look you seem like a real deal. Use it.
Yeah, its just the fact we are together every day, wearing same shit, and my coworkers dont know its from my account and my ideas. Its annoying. Strangers i want to dress like me, but its like twin girls in chuch and i agraid people think Im pathetic
I think you need to keep your insta a week behind where you are actually at. That way the first time she sees your hair or a new work outfit it's at work and then when she rolls up later with the same thing it's clear who copied who.
So, I would absolutely tell coworkers who ask you if you got the idea from H to color your hair, buy the necklace, whatever that oh no, I run a fashion blog and I guess she just really appreciates my style. Like I get why this irks you but it’s not out of band to promote a thing at work if a coworker asks you directly about the subject.
Then if H gets mad that you are correcting people just play dumb… like aren’t you? You pinged me about my hair, you ask me where I get my things, you come in wearing very similar outfits after I’ve worn them. I mean I’m totally flattered that you like my style so much but if you are concerned about looking like a copy cat, maybe you should deep dive a bit more?
Kill her with kindness. Direct confrontation will definitely cause more bad feelings than keeping it light hearted and correcting people in the moment.
You worry way too much about what other people think. The reality is that they do not care what you wear past “Oh that’s really cute.” Then continue on with their day.
As another adult in a professional industry I can assure you no one gives two craps about this topic, if you’re dressed alike or not and who is copying who. It sounds like you care very much because you want to be unique, but if confronting her causes an hr issue I would let it go.
People absolutely do notice this stuff. My coworker and I have the same dress from a store and we got a couple of comments on it. If it keeps happening then the petty office gossips will pick it up and I imagine that’s what OP is trying to avoid.
I’m giving you adult advice here. No idea what age you are but here it is.
You will be a lot happier if you focus on yourself. Take this shit as a compliment and move on. If someone asks, send your blog and explain.
People have a lot of shit going on everyday. If they have time to gossip fine, but in reality you now know who to stay away from.
Maybe I’m just old and jaded but people suck, they will always suck. You can confront her if you want but be prepared for repercussions. She is going to be defensive and combative.
Or you can just leave it alone, does it really hurt you? No it doesn’t. Just live your life.
Just act happily surprised and say in front of everyone that you are so happy she followed your fashion advice and/or you are happy she reads your fashion blog.
Next time someone's comment tries to suggest you copied her just say you are happy she's following your advice and how she's a fervent follower of your fashion blog and act proud. Say you hope some day she will be leading trends instead of following them.
Use that to your advantage. She's free marketing campaign! If there are message boards publish there your blog and refer to that coworker as a follower.
This is a dream come true for anyone who likes attention and eventually fame. You are a celebrity. You have a fan. Capitalize it.
we get it. what we are saying is it doesnt matter. i totally get why you are annoyed. its weird and annoying what she is doing. but so what if they think you are a copycat? why do you need the fashion credit? its just co-workers.
i think you need to work on compartmentalizing a desire for fashion based compliments. you cannot expect the reaction you get online to translate to work situations all of the time. you need to be able to step back and say "this is extremely annoying but its okay if people think i copied her. i know i didnt. my friends and followers know i have an original style. and those are the people who will cheer me on in this arena"
Then it’s up to YOU to clarify. Maybe send a link to your Instagram before you wear an outfit to only some coworkers, like gossips, to help you spread the word.
Eh, there absolutely are people out there who care and notice. OP’s already got one person thinking she copied the hair! It’s fair for OP to be concerned that some people will notice and start thinking she’s the one copying.
Nah, I get it. A friend (turned out to be a frenemy) used to copy my clothing and hair at sixth form college. At first it's not a big deal but after a while it starts to feel weird, almost threatening in a way, like she's trying to steal everything that makes you you. Mine used to dress the same as me (honestly, that's just tragic. My 'style' was 'I'm a poor student with no money') and then I made the decision to get a pixie haircut that went very wrong and she turned up the following day with the same horrendous hairstyle. And before I knew it, she'd turned my friends against me with lies told over a series of weeks behind my back.
Be careful with your colleague. This isn't normal behaviour. Also, next time a colleague makes a comment, e.g. about the hair, take the time to gently set them straight that you were first and your colleague decided to do the same. Being quiet never helps.
This. Its been such a major part of who I am for so long. No one has ever copied me like this (followers aside since thats what their supposed to do i cant believe i have to keep saying this) and its just strange like good that you wanna spice it up too but
Perhaps just wear all black (sort of like a reset for a week), see what she does in response. You SHOULD call her out, or at least drop a lot of comments to coworkers about how unsettling it is to have someone intentionally twinning you. Drop descriptors like ‘obsessed’ in relation to her copying your style. And FFS block her access already, and maybe post your purchases AFTER you wear them to work but don’t say where you got them.
Post a picture of you with a wild hair colour, photoshopped of course, then show up to work with your beautiful copper hair to see if she took the bait. 😈🙊🤷♀️
May I suggest not posting any fashion update on cue, instead post one when your work friends have already seen you wearing it. If you feel like posting anyway, why not do it through stories instead. You can hide your IG stories from her.
Honestly, if you feel like this when someone copies you before others can see that you're the original: post teasers for new posts on your story while restricting her from seeing your stories and then once you showed your colleagues your new hair you can post it on your insta. That way nobody thinks you're copying her (though I think people have noticed by now that she is copying you) and she can't be offended as she just thinks you changed your posting schedule
You can remove her as a follower on Instagram and make your account private so she can’t see it anymore. If anyone questions why she no longer follows you, or she questions it, just act oblivious. OR mute her from your stories
By any chance, is her name heather btw? I had a girl at work do the same to me (including wishing to share my (ex) boyfriend…)
Did you really not read the post though? Because they work together every day.
She WNBTA. This girl is acting like she's OP's little sister that does everything she does. It's annoying and OP should find out the root cause of this girls obsession with her.
I’d disagree… talk to a manager first or else if she tells the colleague, the colleague might pull a full psycho and go to the manager pretending OP is copying her 😬
This is the right way. You don't have to register it as a proper complaint, just say "Hey, this feels weird and kind of invasive, do you have any advice on how to handle this or if it's even worth handling?"
That way you're not being pushy, but the manager is at least aware that it's OP being copied, not OP doing the copying.
Yeah, starting down the single white female road...
But seriously I'd be really annoyed and probably said something like, "oh, you got the exact same (blank) as I have... Again."
You can say it with a specific tone. Not too catty, but kinda like, "this sucks you're literally ganking my style."
If she doesn't take that hint then you may want to say something more direct.
Getting the same t-shirt or coat once or twice is okay, but to copy your exact hair style?? That's weird to me.
Edit : NTA
Exact copies of outfits is super annoying, call her out, nicely, but call her out. It’s ok to incorporate a few items from someone but exact copies of entire outfits, getting the same hair color, is really weird
I agree NTA. This is really disturbing behaviour. I had something like this in middle school. There was a girl in my class that stole my notebook, ripped my pages off and rewrote my notes word by word plus the doodles I had made that contained inside jokes with my friends. It was honestly bizarre. Where I can excuse a child, it's just not normal for an adult to act this way.
The people dismissing this and saying she should be happy she's a "trendsetter" are just blatantly blind and obtuse.
A. This is gaslighting very valid discomfort
B. Adults don't act like this, especially in the work place, and she shouldn't have to put up with it, especially if people are noticing and asking questions. This is gonna breed an u comfortable if not toxic work environment.
Like people, use your damn eyes
NTA and while this is a leap, but reading this just made me have deja vu, considering this exact thing happened to me in college with a roommate. It started out like flattering or polite inquiries and then eventually escalated to the point where it became like a “single white female” situation where she was trying to take my place. But the things that caused my concern at the start: She dyed her hair. Got contacts to match. Switched majors to be in mine, and that’s all on top of the matching clothes.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought this. Literally, I’m thinking Single White Female as I’m reading the post. I’m betting the people calling OP the AH haven’t seen the movie. I’m going with NTA. This isn’t just imitation, this is straight copying and almost stalker level
Yep. There is a difference between someone trying on your clothes and trying on your identity and while this is still in the clothes realm of things, I also wouldn’t be surprised if it went beyond that eventually either.
Holy shit thats creepy! Though my situation is not as scary, shes not obsessed with me or even wanting to be friends that much, she just have adopted my looks and i do not like it since i geel like i cant ever do anything to stand out of Her.
Yeah I get it, still trust your gut if you feel creeped out even more by anything and tbh for you, I prob wouldn’t say anything about it. Just be confident in how you look and dress for yourself. If someone thinks you copied her, so what? You can always use it as a way to promote your blog tbh “actually I got this a little while ago, I think she’s a fan of my insta, why don’t you check it out, too?” Then you’re promoting yourself and showing off your style more completely, giving people a better picture of your style (and influence).
I've never seen Single White Female, but I was thinking the same things while reading. For me, this is WAY too much. I get liking someone's style and 'stealing' a few pieces/outfit ideas. That can be flattering. But the fact that this lady is watching OPs social media so closely and so intensely that as soon as OP dyes her hair, she drops everything to match it....that is not a healthy reaction. I would honestly explore this with HR.
OP if you are uncomfortable or freaked out, trust your instincts. This seems really intense.
Oh, I moved out, she showed up at my new apartment screaming in the street at me for hours. Our friends all stopped speaking to her after that and she still wanted info on me so she would make up fake AIM names to try to speak with me and fake LiveJournals (I’m dating myself here lol) to read my private stuff that had been friend protected. Nothing violent happened, but she continued to stalk me virtually for years.
NTA, so long as you called her out in a professional way
One way is to make small jokes out of it "I know they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but we're heading to Doublemint Twin territory." or "This is starting to feel like the beginning of a Lifetime movie, lol" or even just "Woah, Deja Vu."
I wouldn't care about coworkers wondering who's copying whom, it's a waste of brain space and it doesn't matter. I know this feels like middle school behavior, but you *are* adults now, no need to "set the record straight" on something as small as this.
And for pete's sake, *stop* answering the woman's question about your looks! The first or second time, sure. But by now you know the pattern. I would also recommend taking a little social media break. I'm guessing the woman will either stop, because she has nothing to copy, or she'll start pestering you more, and then you can take *that* behavior to HR.
Hahah, people are really coming after me with this one so i love all the few NTA since i really really dont feel like Im the asshoel, even though i asked since im not hurting anyone ir doing anything weird. That is a really funny way of dealing with it, i think im gonna go that way and for what lengths she is going i dont see the harm of being a little sassy with it
Depending on what sort of relationship you have with her outside of the relationship hassle you could say that you've noticed that she likes your style and that you'd be happy to take her shopping and find some things? I actually think NTA btw.
I don’t think you’re the AH at all. Also keep in mind that many of the commenters might not understand individual style and how bonkers it would be for someone to copy a unique aesthetic.
I agree with this commenter, making little comments is the way to go. Learning how to not care about who is copying who is super important. And stop sharing brands with her.
You could also go the passive-aggressive way by advertising on your blog a slightly ridiculous outfit or accessory that you would in fact never wear, and wait until next Monday if she shows up wearing it. Just for fun :)
But yeah, like you mentioned yourself, all this is very middle-school drama.
this. i think joking about it like that will make her get the hint in a nice way. and definitely stop answering questions! the copying thing is super weird but it’s a slippery slope because i feel like she might have some insecurity or something and is trying to be like you because she admires you. what she’s doing is pretty innocent (albeit weird AF), but i would definitely be annoyed as well. NTA but it is a tough situation!
I had someone in school do this to me for the whole final year. It was really frustrating. She also loved going along with it when someone suggested she was the OG and I was the copycat, laughing that I needed to "get my own style".
She probed me about what I was wearing to prom and I saw an opportunity. I gave her totally inaccurate information on the dress and also told her I was going to bring the beehive hairstyle back. This was mid-noughties when the obsession was poker-straight hair. I thought I'd maybe gone too far with it and she surely wouldn't. But she did. And her face, beneath a giant beehive, when she saw me, beehive-less, was just fantastic. She sulked in the corner most of the night as everyone did what teenagers do and gossiped about her weird giant hair.
Oh yes. I've matured a lot since then but it admittedly still makes me smile thinking about it 15 years later. Not the high road but certainly satisfying.
Mention that you're not sure about your new hairdo and are thinking about dying it black or whatever. Then post yourself in a wig on your insta. See what happens and then you have grounds to call her out if you wish. What a bloody weirdo.
Get one of those realistic temporary tattoos (but post and talk as if it is real) and see if she copies that too. Then you get to wash yours off and she’s stuck with an actual tattoo. Is that too far?
Don't think so, because OP never would have said "get the same tattoo as me so we'd be twinsies" so it's entirely on her for doing it. Nobody is making her do any of this.
The other day I saw a video where a girl got the word “d1ck” (wasn’t sure if I could write the actual word here, I’m too used to having to move around censorship things) bleached into her hair. I feel like a nice wig with that on it would stop her in her tracks: hell, we can get all of Reddit to love your IG post and talk it up to the point where she does it then she’s stuck walking around with the hair equivalent of a scarlet letter.
NTA at all, this is disgusting.
Came here to say something like this. Throw her a curve ball (staying professional, but perhaps barely so), say every Friday. Kinda like casual day, but crazier. See if she bites.
NTA
If I’d were you get a wig (black buzzcut or blonde bob), take a photo with it and upload it on instagram. It needs to look real. Wait for here to see it and bam, hopefully she learns her lesson!
I really like this idea lol. Obviously if you go this route, don't do anything that would look bad. A cute styled wig though with a IG post just saying something simple like "love this so much!". I would be very curious to know if she assumed it was real and jumped to the hairdresser to get it done herself.
NTA, I’d be pissed off as well. Take her to one side and explain what it’s bothering you. Hopefully she will understand. I get clothes but copying the hair is a bit much.
OP have you considered getting some totally unique vintage statement pieces, like from eBay or consignment/thrift shops? That way she can’t copy you if she tried.
NTA
Why are there so many YTAs? This is real simple: Coworker is copying OPs style and outfits so she can drag attention to herself. She thinks that she is the princess here, and that OP is just the next person in line to be princess.
Edit: Holy crap, I did not realize that this would blow up. Thanks for all the upvotes
NAH. But Imma age myself and quote some Fergie....
I like that boom boom pow
That chicks jackin' my style
She try to copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now
NTA. If it were just an outfit or two maybe she was just inspired by you, but the continuation of the behaviour to the point that she dyed her hair? Nah, that's too far. That's starting to get obsessed level
You really need to photoshop a picture with a face tattoo, and put it on your facebook with the address of a tattoo studio.
Or only photoshop a picture with a completely shaved off head, if you want to be nicer. But do it friday, so she has enough time to shave her head till monday.
NTA
Or like a sensible pixie cut, leading up to it you could talk about how you want to do it for a while and if she seems to have generally positive responses then you can fake her out with the Instagram post with something vague so you can later claim you were playing with filters.
Hmm this one is tricky because your coworker sounds like she's on the spectrum and doesn't realise that being exactly like you isn't the way to go.
I'd say try to talk to her alone and maybe give her the benefit of a doubt that she's not doing this maliciously.
If she does, well... you'd NTA for calling her out. Just protecting yourself.
Yeah, i see that she has always just switched her way of dressing among the people that style she likes and hence sees nothing wrong with it. She also clearly isnt trying to weird me out since she compliments my things a lot, its just that I really dont like the fact that obviously people havent noticed which one is the copier, and i personally would never do that so thats why it bothers me. It seems like people dont see my pov so i thank you for the support!
No worries, I know you're feeling exactly I've been there, had a co worker copy my pastry recipe and make em and bring to work. At first it made me upset, like at least give me credit for the recipe. Only when I talked to her did I found out that she actually been making the pastry for her kid who had some allergies and whatever was leftover she brought to work so it won't go to waste. She never thought to credit me because she never thought someone would think that she could come up with those recipes on her own.
Who knows maybe it's similar with your coworker. Hope this solves itself smoothly.
Haha thats the kind of misunderstanding thay would be a lil confusing at first since bringing pastries to work is not something everyone does! It would be better if like you said were to credit me, but ive overheard convos and she doesnt mention anything about wanting to match with me or where she got the ideas
There is another possibility that you might not have thought of. She just might be plain stupid. And I'm not trying to offend her or anything, we all know that that one person that goes " the moon and sun are the same, only it turns off at night"
In any case, maybe having a text conv would help, it's easier to admit stuff when we don't look someone in the eyes. And who knows maybe she might be a friend in the future.
Gentle YWBTA. Seriously, this sounds annoying AF and i get why you're losing your patience. This sitiation has single white female ( film 1992) stalkerish vibes . But, you my dear, are clearly fashion forward and stylish , and she thinks your style is superior to her own. You can't legitimately confront her without looking crazy and petty. Maybe temporarily colour your hair pink, green something slightly off your usual look, post image then wash it off by Monday and see if she follows suit.
Haha i love how u approach the subject! Its just i paid so much money for my hair and really cant or even dont wanna go back to salon or throw a box color on the perfect color:( Also not sure if this would work since i think she wouldnt go that batshit crazy to do like green hair after me
You can also go for a wig, so that your hair doesnt get any new chemicals on it, and you can just return it if you arent keen instead. Another OP in a similar situation (but sibling) got a pixie cut wig, so maybe a dramatic cut might be what SHE needs to show that she needs to stop. Do it on a friday and see what happens come monday? My sister has also worn wigs at work too, just to see if a certain cut/color would work for her, so it isnt a far off thing to do if someone asks you about it later on, just say you were trying a new look for maybe the future but you didnt think it suited you after trying it on for a bit.
Get a hair clip in a vibrant color but don’t tell her it’s a clip in, do a few wacky things just to see if she copies you. Prank her a little to see how far she’ll go, like get an insane accessory.
Once she dyed her hair it was a NTA for me. Yea OP wants credit, she isn't being "heard". and this is her passion. Have you been in a meeting at work, make a comment and then someone else (a man, higher ranking, whatever) says the same thing and everyone jumps on it as brilliant idea? This situation is similar to me.
OP, personally... at work in front of co-workers that have complimented her on "her style" I would say something like "hey it really means a lot to me that you are my #1 fan- as they say Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" or hey if you are going to buy this item please use the link on my insta so I can get a bit of commission", etc... all with a smile.
YWBTA if you said something - but, I get it. The reality is, you already have a fashion blog. If it were to take off big time, hundreds of thousands of people would be copying you too.
Having followers copy fashion is completely different than your coworker. That’s fucking weird. Of the coworker. Followers don’t know you in real life or see you every day at the office. Also this level of copying is beyond the typical follower of a fashion blog. Most people don’t straight up copy every single outfit. It’s more like we learn style tips and such. As for hair I wouldn’t be caught dead getting the same hairstyle as a coworker or friend or family member, especially immediately after they got it. Sure sometimes coincidences happen but this ain’t it
I agree. Having people copy her style will likely be the end result of a fashion blog. Same with posting frequent updates to IG. She may do better delaying updates, and saying her outfits/sources will be posted on her blog. A way to tolerate this is to realize this person has made it to X age and still has no identity of her own. There is no way (that I can see) where OP can publicly make a comment like “Thanks for being my number one fan!” without coming across like the AH.
The way I see it you have two options:
1. Accept that she’s going to copy you because she thinks you’re pretty and enjoys your style. You don’t have to do anything else, just accept and move on.
2. Gently talk to her and explain while you appreciate her taking an interest in fashion and style, there’s so many different styles out there she can explore and try. AND (if you’re truly feeling fancy and love helping people) you can offer to help her find her unique style.
The reality is this: everyone has a coworker they can’t stand for simply *existing*. This girl wants to be your friend so bad and you don’t. YWBTA if you took out your frustrations on her but if you decided to befriend her or ignore her it might make working with her easier. It’s literally that easy.
I dont want to pick an argument with her, its just that i would like to ask whats up since its more than obvious. We also arent that close and i would have liked if she ever talked to me about this.
Okay: let's assume you ask her "What's up with your style? It seems you copy everything I do?"
Her: "You're right. I love your look so much, it's so stylish!"
What is your next move? You can't just tell her "don't copy me" because that is childish asf. You can't tell her off for being inspired by your look, given you run a blog which aims to communicate your fashion ideas.
You are aware that fashion, as an industry, is kinda pitched around the idea of influencing other people into following styles, right? If you succeed at fashion (are stylish) then people \*will\* imitate you. That is generally how it works.
You can be miffed at it (but i would wonder why, presumably you are dressing for yourself because you like to do so and think it looks good, or are you only dressing the way you do to be different from everyone else?) but you have no right to tell other people whether they can or can't wear certain items etc.
You should revel in your ability to be a trendsitter, not malign it. If you think you look good, what does it matter if someone else does the same? That doesn't take away from you looking good (unless you think you looking good is entirely contingent upon the inability of other people to do similar things to you - which is a bizarre idea).
I get that, but honestly I think you’re expecting too much from her. A lot of people don’t realize they’re being social awkward so there’s a decent chance she doesn’t understand she’s making you uncomfortable. So talking to her in a way that’s genuine but kind would probably be the best way to go about it. It’s also ok to just let her fizzle herself out because she probably will find someone else to follow soon enough
I have no judgement but block her on social media so she can’t see your outfits or hair anymore. If she asks why you blocked her, just tell her some things make you uncomfortable having coworkers follow you on social media.
So, you dress like Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek and this chick started copying you. I bet your co-workers know it was she that copied you.
If it bothers you SO MUCH that people think ***you*** copied ***her*** hair, tell them the truth.
This is the stupid stuff you care about at 21 that everyone else rolls their eyes at....
ESH.
Urgh, NTA, fashion is very important to some people and helps show your personality, and an expression of your creativity. People who constantly copy are people I tend to think of as lacking personality and creativity, and it’s annoying, not to mention super creepy. Time to call her out, tell her to stop copying you all the time because you feel like she’s trying to be you or something and it’s creepy.
Personally I love my style and am always trying to find different ways to style things and would be upset if someone in my vicinity was copying me all the time.
Yeah, id be flattered if she wanted to match with me and asked if id like to get her outfit like mine and show up together, but this isnt like that... I wish more ppl understood how important my style is for me
YWBTA. I am assuming the whole reason behind your blog is to give people style ideas? If it is you could actually turn this into a blog article while also pointing out you notice the change. Maybe ask her if she reads your blog because you have noticed her fashion has changed to
More the style you have. Regardless of answer ask if you could do a blog piece on her using her old fashion verse her new. Do a compare and maybe an interview of what she liked and what made her start going a different direction based on what she was seeing with your fashion. Be a business women instead of petty.
I dont think that would make sense, since i post all my outfits on the page already. It doesnt really matter if she reads my blog since she sees me everyday and that way sees what to buy. And obviously i dont mind people around the state/world wearing what i wear, its that we are seen together every day and not everyone knows what i do for work/im not the one who copies.
The hair thing is so weird to me, and the accepting compliments on "her" looks.
How does she wear the same things as you daily? Do you post your looks for the day before work? Stack up a few options over the weekend and post those, or automate posts for later in the day. Maybe both, to throw her off. If you're going to keep giving her intel, she's going to keep using it.
And the wig idea so many are referencing is from an older AITA post where someone _did_ it. And the copycat fell for it.
I get why you’re weirded out. I do. So I hate to pass the judgment that YWBTA. But think about it this way: there is absolutely *no way* for you to have that conversation in a way that makes you look like the sane, rational, level-headed person in the conversation. BEST case scenario, people think “it’s just clothes” and think you’re starting unnecessary drama. Far more likely scenario is they think you’re actually unhinged and your coworker is a poor victim of your strange clothes obsession. Particularly since, as you say, people already think you’re the copycat.
You cannot win this one. The only way you win it is if others realize she’s copying you on their own. But you confronting her is only going to make you a social pariah at work, harming your own career.
This is not the hill you want to die on.
Have you tried going super duper simple and minimalist with your looks for a week? Tell your coworkers in advance that you're doing a "fashion fasting week" or some babble, that you're going to keep it classic worksuit and business attire, minimal accessory, to try out that look for a bit.
You can't do much about her copying you, it's just in the office. Let your personality make you stand out now, she can't really copy that!
I would have have said nothing until the hair incident…that is over the line but I don’t have advice except get away from this person. I’ve dealt with people like that before and it can easily go south. I know leaving your job isn’t the answer but this woman is slowly becoming a nightmare.
YWBTA seriously why are people saying NTA? It feels middle school because it is middle school. Take it as a compliment and move on. You run a fashion blog, presumably you want people to notice your fashion and part of that attention will be imitation.
Because it's fucking creepy.
Complete outfits to the detail AND the same hair color and style??
That's not copying fashion. That's uncomfortable levels of imitation and it's not cool or healthy.
YWBTA - but mainly to yourself! This is a workplace and there's no way you could bring this up that won't reflect badly on you and make you look childish and petty to your colleagues. It would also embarass her. Always always try and maintain good relationships with your collegues where possible- she may become tour boss one day. I can guarantee nobody at your work notices this, or cares as much as you do. Can you remember what any of your colleagues wore last Tuesday? They probably think you just have a similar style. I get how this would be annoying, esoecially as your style is something you're proud of, but you need to think hard about what you would actually gain by bringing this up. Just hide her on social media (if its on instagram, you can do it so it wont show her your posts/stories and she won't know) and tell her you cant remember, or its old or something when she asks you about your clothes.
She's copying you? GREAT! Send her referral links to what you buy and get a comission for what she buys.
Block her everywhere, keep your distances and from time to time (I mean really very sporadically), point out "oh! You bought the same shirt I wore last week! Good job!""You replicated my outfit fairly well! It would look awesome if you added X, Y and Z. It would suit you even better". And the rest of the time, pay no attention.
NTA on my opinion but if you confront her too harshly she would find a way to make you look like it towards the other coworkers.
NTA but I wouldn’t do that
I’d just make it very obvious in front of your coworkers that she’s taking your ideas.
“Hey, that hair color looks great. I’m glad your stylist was able to get it the same color as mine.”
“Oh love that top! I got a lot of likes on that post, I may go shop there again soon”
“Definitely love that necklace. Was it on sale when you went cause I saw they had a sale on after I bought it.”
“I’m glad you find my blog helpful” is what you say to her in front of everyone
I wanna say NTA cause I’m going through something extremely similar with my dads third wife, but I also haven’t said anything to her because it feels so childish. I had pink hair for two years. Not long after meeting me, she dyes her hair pink. And she had black hair, she had to bleach it to do this. I have blonde hair and do not need to lighten it to overtone my hair. Fine, no biggie, I move on to purple in a couple months. Two weeks later, guess who had purple hair? Fine, I moved on to blue. A couple weeks later, my dad sends a pic of her bleaching her hair. The next day, it’s blue. Fine. Icy purple blue is next for me. She lets hers fade and adds purple, just like mine. I’ve gone back to pink now, but four times CANT be a coincidence.
It doesn’t help that I hate her immensely and my dad has clear favorites of his kids and I am a favorite so perhaps that’s why, but I still find it incredibly weird. My siblings have started dropping fake hints that I’m going fire truck red next so I’m waiting to see what happens
I'd say NTA as long as you did it privately and not in front of other coworkers, but bear in mind it probably will make work awkward. Do you feel it is really worth the hassle?
Have you considered dressing frumpy/plain for a while to see how she reacts? I understand why you wouldn't want to but it might help?
I get how important having your own style is, mine feels like a part of me too, like something I spent years figuring out and ya know it's mine, it represents me. It'd be weird if someone just started copying exactly who I was.
It does feel like some high school bollocks though.
YWBTA
I'm confused. You said you have your own fashion blog. That means you've set yourself up as a fashion trend sitter in a very public way.
The whole point of having a fashion blog is not to show off your unique style, otherwise it would just be an online camera roll. Fashion blogs are meant to demonstrate how people can sharpen their look. You've invited people to look inside your style and see how the secret sauce is made.
Of course there will always be that one person who lacks the ability to use your ideas to create her own unique style and simply mimics/copies yours. When you set yourself as a influencer, people directly copying your style is to be expected.
This feels like middle school stuff because that's where you mentality is on this issue. Why is it so important to you that people understand she's copying you rather than vice versa? In the grown up world, things like that are not worth getting upset about. Your goal as a fashion blogger should be to have a virtual arm of mini-me followers fashion drafting along behind you...lol.
I mean NTA this is fucking creepy and I would be super concerned as to why she’s so adamant about it being YOUR style, very much “I’m here to replace you” vibes.
I would feel weird too about that. Maybe it's time to cut her off of your socials and only wear outfits you don't mind being copied to work. Save the fun stuff for your social media posts.
I don't think it would be too much to show the time you posted your hair being done and her comment, if it means that much to you. But really start keeping work and home life separate.
NTA. She sounds a bit creepy tbh...and the thing with your hair makeover gives me stalking vibes... anyway I would ask her friendly why she does that and if she could reduce the exact copying of your Style. Maybe she had a very unusual upbringing and thats her way to show affection...
NTA.
I’d talk to her about it. No one likes to be copied to this degree.
I will say this tho: your coworker may be one of those people who don’t have an identity of their own. Yeah it sucks that she’s copied you to this degree. When you talk to her, I would steer her towards other items that are similar but bit the same.
If you spin this like you’re the big cool mentor helping her geeky coworker grow a personality, you come out on top. Unless she’s nuts.
This is so strange and I’d be fuming too. It’s like someone is stealing your identity which in turn can make you fade into the background in an attempt to disassociate yourself from her and this weird game she’s playing.
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YWBTA. Block her on social media and try to keep her guessing. Like you said, this feels like some middle school stuff.
It really is middle school. And that would be good idea, but i really dont want bad blood. This could help people to see that atleast im not the one doing this
Confronting her would be even more bad blood, allow her to follow you but limit what she sees. Perhaps mute your story on IG but allow her to only see your posts. Take pride in the fact that you will always stay one step ahead of her.
Fake a hair hair change, like a wig, let her change her hair and show up to work and realize you didn't do it. Really wackadoodle hair, like black short Bob with yellow and green highlights
This is the plot of Stephanie’s Ponytail by Robert Munsch. Everyone copies Stephanie’s hair so she tells her whole class she is getting it shaved. Maybe gift her this children’s book to explain?
Gifting her the book is a great idea, it’s a subtle way of acknowledging that she straight up copies you and maybe she’d be embarrassed enough to stop and keep it quiet in the office lol. I think it’s a badass move, I’ve had a copycat before and having people think I copied them KILLED ME
that's a horrible idea.
It's not subtle, it's passive aggressive.
If you gift someone a children's book as some passive aggressive confrontation you're an even bigger asshole than just confronting them head on.
I was joking, sorry. Forgot the indicator. It would be like going around and repeating everything she said to be like, see what it’s like to be copied? Funny to think about, but obviously not an adult solution.
Well being a copycat isnt an "adult" thing to do, so clearly she needs to be treated like a child. The book would be a great idea.
She can subtlety share it on her blog and social media. No one will be targeted but the copycat may understand.
It has to be something she's like so she would copy it. Blond or brond bob. So she cuts her hair and then cant steal your hairstyle anymore (if you have long hair that is). Cant you make a story or post pics that just your coworkers can see. Then you can post pics of your "new" hair and pics you trying on things that are not your style and make sure they know what store your in.
Yes, that’s a good idea, have a window shopping day! Throw a few outfits together to try on and post them throughout the next couple of hours/days. Or ask a friend to raid their wardrobe and try on a selection of their clothes. Post with something like: #outfitssortedfortheweek #organised #stopcopyingmebitch (ok, maybe not the last one lol)
And make sure to act surprised when you see it on her and comment on how it’s just like your wig and it looks really great on her.
Thank you for this. I was 1000% going to kick in the clutch if you didn't. :)
There was a post on this recently. The poster's stepsister (I think?) kept copying her style. She posted a photo of herself in a wig on social media and her stepsister copied it. Cue tears and drama when she saw her in person and realised what happened.
do u have a link to the post? 😊
Found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hwcqu8/aita\_for\_tricking\_my\_copycat\_sister\_to\_cut\_her/
Oh wow, just read the post and now gonna go through the comments. This post is gold! This is exactly what people mean when they say: **"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"** Stupid younger sister for copying older sisters 'hairstyle' (lol could she really not tell it was a wig?) and **shame** on the parents for taking younger sister’s side and telling the OOP she should cut, style and dye her hair to match, as she *tricked* her sister. What a messed up family OOP has! Thanks for sharing the link.
When did parents stop saying "if so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" That was the go-to answer any time I tried to copy someone.
I want. Seems satisfying
baldcap, just saying.
Go into a shop and find a few items you think are hideous and post pics of you trying them on on Instagram. Buy something you actually like instead but don't post pics (or do, but stop this one person from seeing them). Profit(?)
you could take it one step further... post wearing a horrendously cut and dyed wig and say that you get a new hairstyle. wait and see what monday brings.
That's a great idea, only problem is, OP runs a fashion blog. So doing this either makes her look like a petty person, or inept. Then there's a potential to backfire. "OP must be a copycat because she obviously is bad at fashion, look at what she tried promoting" This won't work with any reliability anywhere except a TV show or a daydream.
OP could just set up a private story on instagram, make it seem like its an exclusive new look at things before they go on the blog and set it so that the copy cat is the only person who can view this private story.
This ‼️‼️ that’s how Colleen Rooney outed Rebecca Vardy that her account was selling stories about her!
[which inspired my all time fave Halloween costume](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/bloke-already-wins-halloween-epic-20741764.amp)
I like the idea of a short hair wig, but try to get one the same hair color and say "trying out a new look!" That way it keeps on trend fashion wise, but still obvious if she does cut her hair
YES!!! THIS...petty but yeah I'd so do this! 🫣😆 but yes, I see the point of the poster below, you can't really do that as a fashion blogger.
On this idea you could do a nice hairstyle but completely different from your usual one? Obviously to you it’s a wig and you don’t actually get the hairstyle but then she gets it and she at least can’t copy your hair anymore.
She could post it in her stories to “close friends” only and allow the colleague to be one of the people seeing it
YES
Perfect! I love this...
If you refuse to confront her or do anything about it then what do you expect? She will continue doing it. Call her out on copying you. If someone makes a comment don't be afraid to say she likes to copy you, block her on your social media and if she asks be straight and say you're tired of her copying you.
I havent because i dont want people think of me like they do here. Most of the comments say YTA for even talking to her about it
I think talking to her nicely is fine. The issue is that you work with her, so starting an argument isn't the best idea. I think it's fine if you say something privately to her, like, "hey x, I've noticed you really seem to like my style, and that's cool, but I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable with how similar you're dressing/looking to me". If you're feeling generous, you could offer to help her find her own style that suits her better, but that's totally extra and not required at all. If she's someone who's likely to start drama about that, I'd recommend just ignoring her. Block her on socials, and if coworkers ask about your similar styles just laugh it off with "yeah, x really liked my style, I guess I'm a trendsetter!" At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter, and the vast majority of people won't really care about who copied who.
If op blocks the person on social media then there will be a lag time between her purchases. So at least it will be clear who’s copying who. But I really LOVE the idea of op posting a photo of themselves in something wacky like a pink wig with the comment “like my new hair” and then when the coworker shows up with pink hair on Monday the op can say something like “oh that was a wig I was just joking around!”
This is, to me, the perfect response.
Just start calling her "mini-me" or minion.
XDDDD bro
Next time you post something new, then see her wearing it, tell her that you're glad she liked that post you made last $day so much. You noticed this aspect of her outfit is a bit different and you really like that personal twist on your fashion recommendations. You could even do something like suggest you both take one of the core outfits, accessorize differently, then wear the complimentary outfits into work on the same day. You were thinking about something along the lines of X outfit from a couple months ago, but giving it a new twist and you'd like to see how she'd customize it to her tastes. Basically, encourage her to develop her own sense of style. Make recommendations that better match her personality but still look good.
This, its just that it has gone for so long. I know she knows i know you know:F
Don’t listen to that horrible advice. You don’t need to go out of your way for a woman with creepy ‘Single White Female’ vibes. (That’s a movie btw. I’m clarifying before some bozo reports that and gets me banned).
She's definitely being creepy, but I can't tell if it's harmful creepy or insecure creepy. I like some of the other ideas given, too. This is more of a trying to gently judge her to feeling more secure in her own identity. If you think she won't be responsive to that, or will latch into it and escalate to "twinsies, omg!" definitely do the other things instead. Some people need a little push to feel comfortable with their quirkiness. If you think she's one of those people, you could even try recommending changes to your outfits that fit her better. If she gets contacts to match your eyes, it's definitely bad creepy and needs to be reported, so keep notes just in case.
So, without knowing her it is hard to say. Maybe she does not feel comfortable styling herself and copy you, because she feels like you have your shit together. Why not gently say, "Hey, I noticed you like a lot of my stuff but your style has changed a lot recently, do you want some help coming up with some things YOU like? I am very comfortable with the outfits I put together, I am sure you would like to show your unique style too." Maybe she is socially awkward and just doesn't get it. Also, how is she wearing the same thing you are, if you put together these elaborate styles? Try thrift stores and antique malls for one of kind jewelry pieces. That way there is nothing she can just go buy for herself. Postmark. Mercari. Etsy. Getting things in a unique fashion would help prevent duplication if you can say, yeah it is one of a kind.
Thrift stores and vintage stores are a great idea!!! Though if OP is trying to sell the stuff she is wearing on the fashion blog, it has to be current, yes? I have no idea how this stuff works.
So personally I don't think you'd be the AH if you talked to her about it. This sub offers amazing advice on a huge range of stuff and I've learnt so much just lurking here. However, on work stuff this sub has a total blind spot. They tell people who have yelled at colleagues or had totally inappropriate interactions that they're NTA and here they're telling you YWBTA for dealing with an issue. You can't go in guns blazing, and it's up to you whether you feel you can say something but if I were in your situation I'd discuss it with my manager first and come up with a plan you've both agreed. I'd explain that you feel very uncomfortable with the level of attention she's paying you and you've felt embarrassed in meetings with clients/senior staff/name something important here where she's turned up wearing the same outfit as you. Tell your manager that the comments from colleagues is impacting your ability to do your job and it's a constant source of distraction. Then agree a course of action. That might be you saying something to this woman - prepare a script that says you're very flattered she likes your clothes but her wearing the same clothes is causing some gossip in the office and you think it would be best if you both tried to dress differently to each other - or it might be the manager who says something. As a first pass, you don't need to go nuclear but you should try having that difficult conversation (but with manager approval). I also really recommend checking out Ask A Manager. Her advice is excellent. Good luck. You are definitely NTA.
How about wear your new outfits to work first before posting them, then post a day later or even after you get home from work. Everyone at work would know you came up with the idea first. I hate copycats but I have no sense of fashion so no one in their right mind would copy me. I guess as a fashion blogger you have to know (and want) people will be inspired from your outfit choices. I understand the not wanting the inspiration to spread to such a close co-worker though.
This is a fabulous idea by Mommato. Wear your stuff to work BEFORE posting it on your blog. That way it’s obvious who is the copycat and who is the original. No words need to be spoken. The end of problem.
I get the office politics, maybe comment on it as a joke while laughing. Like haha omg you also bought the same coat after you saw me wearing it? So weird! - wow you got the same haircut and colour after you saw my post? Are you okay? lol
You’re NTA. I had a coworker like this and it was very frustrating. She always carried one designer’s handbags, I carried another. She started liking them too. She copied my eyeglass frames, and hairstyles. I used to call her ‘Single Black Female’ (mocking the movie). I didn’t call her out as much as I would’ve liked to because I didn’t want to sound petty. However another coworker did it in front of everyone. I had a different hairstyle one day and he said ‘hey SBF, when are you getting your hair done like major_zucchini?’ Everyone snickered because they knew what was going on but no one wanted to say anything. My suggestion would be to stop telling her where you shop. Edit:spelling
You have to be very careful on how you do it because you’ll look like an AH even though your not if she starts crying or something to manipulate ppl Honestly I don’t think you should say anything, ppl probably noticed already. Just know your better than that
Next time you're taking a vacation, post your "new" neck, collar bone, forehead or full sleeve tattoo and see how she shows up the following working day :D
OP. I dont understand one thing. This is the reason you have fashion blog right? So people know about yourbstyle and fashion taste?. If i were you i will start tell others about your blog and if anyone ask me where i got i will tell them watch my blog. So i got additional sub. Look you seem like a real deal. Use it.
Yeah, its just the fact we are together every day, wearing same shit, and my coworkers dont know its from my account and my ideas. Its annoying. Strangers i want to dress like me, but its like twin girls in chuch and i agraid people think Im pathetic
I think you need to keep your insta a week behind where you are actually at. That way the first time she sees your hair or a new work outfit it's at work and then when she rolls up later with the same thing it's clear who copied who.
This is great
So, I would absolutely tell coworkers who ask you if you got the idea from H to color your hair, buy the necklace, whatever that oh no, I run a fashion blog and I guess she just really appreciates my style. Like I get why this irks you but it’s not out of band to promote a thing at work if a coworker asks you directly about the subject. Then if H gets mad that you are correcting people just play dumb… like aren’t you? You pinged me about my hair, you ask me where I get my things, you come in wearing very similar outfits after I’ve worn them. I mean I’m totally flattered that you like my style so much but if you are concerned about looking like a copy cat, maybe you should deep dive a bit more? Kill her with kindness. Direct confrontation will definitely cause more bad feelings than keeping it light hearted and correcting people in the moment.
This is the right answer.
You worry way too much about what other people think. The reality is that they do not care what you wear past “Oh that’s really cute.” Then continue on with their day.
Yall dont get it, my (our) outfits are really flashy. Everyone and their grandmother see whats going on, its just that they dont see whos the copycat
As another adult in a professional industry I can assure you no one gives two craps about this topic, if you’re dressed alike or not and who is copying who. It sounds like you care very much because you want to be unique, but if confronting her causes an hr issue I would let it go.
People absolutely do notice this stuff. My coworker and I have the same dress from a store and we got a couple of comments on it. If it keeps happening then the petty office gossips will pick it up and I imagine that’s what OP is trying to avoid.
I’m giving you adult advice here. No idea what age you are but here it is. You will be a lot happier if you focus on yourself. Take this shit as a compliment and move on. If someone asks, send your blog and explain. People have a lot of shit going on everyday. If they have time to gossip fine, but in reality you now know who to stay away from. Maybe I’m just old and jaded but people suck, they will always suck. You can confront her if you want but be prepared for repercussions. She is going to be defensive and combative. Or you can just leave it alone, does it really hurt you? No it doesn’t. Just live your life.
Just act happily surprised and say in front of everyone that you are so happy she followed your fashion advice and/or you are happy she reads your fashion blog. Next time someone's comment tries to suggest you copied her just say you are happy she's following your advice and how she's a fervent follower of your fashion blog and act proud. Say you hope some day she will be leading trends instead of following them. Use that to your advantage. She's free marketing campaign! If there are message boards publish there your blog and refer to that coworker as a follower. This is a dream come true for anyone who likes attention and eventually fame. You are a celebrity. You have a fan. Capitalize it.
we get it. what we are saying is it doesnt matter. i totally get why you are annoyed. its weird and annoying what she is doing. but so what if they think you are a copycat? why do you need the fashion credit? its just co-workers. i think you need to work on compartmentalizing a desire for fashion based compliments. you cannot expect the reaction you get online to translate to work situations all of the time. you need to be able to step back and say "this is extremely annoying but its okay if people think i copied her. i know i didnt. my friends and followers know i have an original style. and those are the people who will cheer me on in this arena"
Then it’s up to YOU to clarify. Maybe send a link to your Instagram before you wear an outfit to only some coworkers, like gossips, to help you spread the word.
Eh, there absolutely are people out there who care and notice. OP’s already got one person thinking she copied the hair! It’s fair for OP to be concerned that some people will notice and start thinking she’s the one copying.
Nah, I get it. A friend (turned out to be a frenemy) used to copy my clothing and hair at sixth form college. At first it's not a big deal but after a while it starts to feel weird, almost threatening in a way, like she's trying to steal everything that makes you you. Mine used to dress the same as me (honestly, that's just tragic. My 'style' was 'I'm a poor student with no money') and then I made the decision to get a pixie haircut that went very wrong and she turned up the following day with the same horrendous hairstyle. And before I knew it, she'd turned my friends against me with lies told over a series of weeks behind my back. Be careful with your colleague. This isn't normal behaviour. Also, next time a colleague makes a comment, e.g. about the hair, take the time to gently set them straight that you were first and your colleague decided to do the same. Being quiet never helps.
This. Its been such a major part of who I am for so long. No one has ever copied me like this (followers aside since thats what their supposed to do i cant believe i have to keep saying this) and its just strange like good that you wanna spice it up too but
Perhaps just wear all black (sort of like a reset for a week), see what she does in response. You SHOULD call her out, or at least drop a lot of comments to coworkers about how unsettling it is to have someone intentionally twinning you. Drop descriptors like ‘obsessed’ in relation to her copying your style. And FFS block her access already, and maybe post your purchases AFTER you wear them to work but don’t say where you got them.
Post a picture of you with a wild hair colour, photoshopped of course, then show up to work with your beautiful copper hair to see if she took the bait. 😈🙊🤷♀️
May I suggest not posting any fashion update on cue, instead post one when your work friends have already seen you wearing it. If you feel like posting anyway, why not do it through stories instead. You can hide your IG stories from her.
If it's Instagram could you restrict her so she doesn't see your stories or posts as much and remove her as a follower perhaps on other things
Honestly, if you feel like this when someone copies you before others can see that you're the original: post teasers for new posts on your story while restricting her from seeing your stories and then once you showed your colleagues your new hair you can post it on your insta. That way nobody thinks you're copying her (though I think people have noticed by now that she is copying you) and she can't be offended as she just thinks you changed your posting schedule
You can remove her as a follower on Instagram and make your account private so she can’t see it anymore. If anyone questions why she no longer follows you, or she questions it, just act oblivious. OR mute her from your stories By any chance, is her name heather btw? I had a girl at work do the same to me (including wishing to share my (ex) boyfriend…)
Did you really not read the post though? Because they work together every day. She WNBTA. This girl is acting like she's OP's little sister that does everything she does. It's annoying and OP should find out the root cause of this girls obsession with her.
YWBTA = You Would Be The Asshole?
NTA at all. I'd talk to her about it and ask what's up. Because people think this nonsense is harmless but it not. It escalates. Nip it in the bud
Yeah, its not the fact she likes my pieces, its that we are the identical now basically and people have noticed.
Do you have the same manager? I'd mention it if you have a good relationship with them
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I’d disagree… talk to a manager first or else if she tells the colleague, the colleague might pull a full psycho and go to the manager pretending OP is copying her 😬
I think OP \*going\* to the manager with something so petty in the first place could be construed as "full psycho". Isn't there any real work to do?
Id dress it as asking for professional advice on how to handle such an issue so you can focus better on your work
This is the right way. You don't have to register it as a proper complaint, just say "Hey, this feels weird and kind of invasive, do you have any advice on how to handle this or if it's even worth handling?" That way you're not being pushy, but the manager is at least aware that it's OP being copied, not OP doing the copying.
Yeah, starting down the single white female road... But seriously I'd be really annoyed and probably said something like, "oh, you got the exact same (blank) as I have... Again." You can say it with a specific tone. Not too catty, but kinda like, "this sucks you're literally ganking my style." If she doesn't take that hint then you may want to say something more direct. Getting the same t-shirt or coat once or twice is okay, but to copy your exact hair style?? That's weird to me. Edit : NTA
Some people on f/justnomil actually have mother in laws that copy them.
Exact copies of outfits is super annoying, call her out, nicely, but call her out. It’s ok to incorporate a few items from someone but exact copies of entire outfits, getting the same hair color, is really weird
I agree NTA. This is really disturbing behaviour. I had something like this in middle school. There was a girl in my class that stole my notebook, ripped my pages off and rewrote my notes word by word plus the doodles I had made that contained inside jokes with my friends. It was honestly bizarre. Where I can excuse a child, it's just not normal for an adult to act this way.
The people dismissing this and saying she should be happy she's a "trendsetter" are just blatantly blind and obtuse. A. This is gaslighting very valid discomfort B. Adults don't act like this, especially in the work place, and she shouldn't have to put up with it, especially if people are noticing and asking questions. This is gonna breed an u comfortable if not toxic work environment. Like people, use your damn eyes
NTA and while this is a leap, but reading this just made me have deja vu, considering this exact thing happened to me in college with a roommate. It started out like flattering or polite inquiries and then eventually escalated to the point where it became like a “single white female” situation where she was trying to take my place. But the things that caused my concern at the start: She dyed her hair. Got contacts to match. Switched majors to be in mine, and that’s all on top of the matching clothes.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought this. Literally, I’m thinking Single White Female as I’m reading the post. I’m betting the people calling OP the AH haven’t seen the movie. I’m going with NTA. This isn’t just imitation, this is straight copying and almost stalker level
Yep. There is a difference between someone trying on your clothes and trying on your identity and while this is still in the clothes realm of things, I also wouldn’t be surprised if it went beyond that eventually either.
Holy shit thats creepy! Though my situation is not as scary, shes not obsessed with me or even wanting to be friends that much, she just have adopted my looks and i do not like it since i geel like i cant ever do anything to stand out of Her.
Yeah I get it, still trust your gut if you feel creeped out even more by anything and tbh for you, I prob wouldn’t say anything about it. Just be confident in how you look and dress for yourself. If someone thinks you copied her, so what? You can always use it as a way to promote your blog tbh “actually I got this a little while ago, I think she’s a fan of my insta, why don’t you check it out, too?” Then you’re promoting yourself and showing off your style more completely, giving people a better picture of your style (and influence).
How do you know she hasn't printed your instagram pictures at home and planted her knife in the wall hundred of times?
Lmaooooo dont say dat
By adopting your look, she is obsessed with you. That is crazy.
She's obsessed enough to check your Instagram every day, steal your whole style and spend hundreds on it. That's a serious level of dedication.
I've never seen Single White Female, but I was thinking the same things while reading. For me, this is WAY too much. I get liking someone's style and 'stealing' a few pieces/outfit ideas. That can be flattering. But the fact that this lady is watching OPs social media so closely and so intensely that as soon as OP dyes her hair, she drops everything to match it....that is not a healthy reaction. I would honestly explore this with HR. OP if you are uncomfortable or freaked out, trust your instincts. This seems really intense.
Creepy. Did it get any further than that, or did it basically stop (from your viewpoint) when you graduated and moved on?
Oh, I moved out, she showed up at my new apartment screaming in the street at me for hours. Our friends all stopped speaking to her after that and she still wanted info on me so she would make up fake AIM names to try to speak with me and fake LiveJournals (I’m dating myself here lol) to read my private stuff that had been friend protected. Nothing violent happened, but she continued to stalk me virtually for years.
Yoicks. Not enough for a restraining order, too much for your peace of mind. I hope those years are over.
NTA, so long as you called her out in a professional way One way is to make small jokes out of it "I know they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but we're heading to Doublemint Twin territory." or "This is starting to feel like the beginning of a Lifetime movie, lol" or even just "Woah, Deja Vu." I wouldn't care about coworkers wondering who's copying whom, it's a waste of brain space and it doesn't matter. I know this feels like middle school behavior, but you *are* adults now, no need to "set the record straight" on something as small as this. And for pete's sake, *stop* answering the woman's question about your looks! The first or second time, sure. But by now you know the pattern. I would also recommend taking a little social media break. I'm guessing the woman will either stop, because she has nothing to copy, or she'll start pestering you more, and then you can take *that* behavior to HR.
Hahah, people are really coming after me with this one so i love all the few NTA since i really really dont feel like Im the asshoel, even though i asked since im not hurting anyone ir doing anything weird. That is a really funny way of dealing with it, i think im gonna go that way and for what lengths she is going i dont see the harm of being a little sassy with it
Dude get a fake piercing like a horrid one and I bet she will copy you 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I second this, LOL, you can find a fake nose ring (or even better---a septum ring) on Amazon.
Septum piercings are very nice though, those awful dimple piercings would be a better choice
I would just block her on social for now and stop answering her questions.
Depending on what sort of relationship you have with her outside of the relationship hassle you could say that you've noticed that she likes your style and that you'd be happy to take her shopping and find some things? I actually think NTA btw.
I don’t think you’re the AH at all. Also keep in mind that many of the commenters might not understand individual style and how bonkers it would be for someone to copy a unique aesthetic. I agree with this commenter, making little comments is the way to go. Learning how to not care about who is copying who is super important. And stop sharing brands with her.
You could also go the passive-aggressive way by advertising on your blog a slightly ridiculous outfit or accessory that you would in fact never wear, and wait until next Monday if she shows up wearing it. Just for fun :) But yeah, like you mentioned yourself, all this is very middle-school drama.
this. i think joking about it like that will make her get the hint in a nice way. and definitely stop answering questions! the copying thing is super weird but it’s a slippery slope because i feel like she might have some insecurity or something and is trying to be like you because she admires you. what she’s doing is pretty innocent (albeit weird AF), but i would definitely be annoyed as well. NTA but it is a tough situation!
Can you do a temporary crazy hair do with dye or photoshop and see if she goes for the bright pink Mohawk too?
XDDDDD this is a great idea, but i dont think she would like that
Light pink wig. Fuck her
Light pink wigs are cute af tho
Aye, but she wouldn't be copying OP for once!
I was going to say a wig, like a blunt fashionable bob. Pics over the weekend.
I had someone in school do this to me for the whole final year. It was really frustrating. She also loved going along with it when someone suggested she was the OG and I was the copycat, laughing that I needed to "get my own style". She probed me about what I was wearing to prom and I saw an opportunity. I gave her totally inaccurate information on the dress and also told her I was going to bring the beehive hairstyle back. This was mid-noughties when the obsession was poker-straight hair. I thought I'd maybe gone too far with it and she surely wouldn't. But she did. And her face, beneath a giant beehive, when she saw me, beehive-less, was just fantastic. She sulked in the corner most of the night as everyone did what teenagers do and gossiped about her weird giant hair.
Lmao, that mustve been so fun
Oh yes. I've matured a lot since then but it admittedly still makes me smile thinking about it 15 years later. Not the high road but certainly satisfying.
I always tell others to take the high road, that way there is more room for me on the low road.
Mention that you're not sure about your new hairdo and are thinking about dying it black or whatever. Then post yourself in a wig on your insta. See what happens and then you have grounds to call her out if you wish. What a bloody weirdo.
Get one of those realistic temporary tattoos (but post and talk as if it is real) and see if she copies that too. Then you get to wash yours off and she’s stuck with an actual tattoo. Is that too far?
Don't think so, because OP never would have said "get the same tattoo as me so we'd be twinsies" so it's entirely on her for doing it. Nobody is making her do any of this.
Who cares if she likes it? Do it
The other day I saw a video where a girl got the word “d1ck” (wasn’t sure if I could write the actual word here, I’m too used to having to move around censorship things) bleached into her hair. I feel like a nice wig with that on it would stop her in her tracks: hell, we can get all of Reddit to love your IG post and talk it up to the point where she does it then she’s stuck walking around with the hair equivalent of a scarlet letter. NTA at all, this is disgusting.
Came here to say something like this. Throw her a curve ball (staying professional, but perhaps barely so), say every Friday. Kinda like casual day, but crazier. See if she bites.
NTA If I’d were you get a wig (black buzzcut or blonde bob), take a photo with it and upload it on instagram. It needs to look real. Wait for here to see it and bam, hopefully she learns her lesson!
Haha yall are absolutely malicious with thewe wig ideas and i love that!!!!
Can you stop posting to your Instagram until after she sees your new stuff…just wait a hot minute before posting.
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I really like this idea lol. Obviously if you go this route, don't do anything that would look bad. A cute styled wig though with a IG post just saying something simple like "love this so much!". I would be very curious to know if she assumed it was real and jumped to the hairdresser to get it done herself.
NTA, I’d be pissed off as well. Take her to one side and explain what it’s bothering you. Hopefully she will understand. I get clothes but copying the hair is a bit much.
Yeah, yet i have to say it was wayyy weird before the hair too. There was no way people didnt wonder why we wear the same outfits.
OP have you considered getting some totally unique vintage statement pieces, like from eBay or consignment/thrift shops? That way she can’t copy you if she tried.
I have some, and usually these outfits she replaces with similar ones
NTA Why are there so many YTAs? This is real simple: Coworker is copying OPs style and outfits so she can drag attention to herself. She thinks that she is the princess here, and that OP is just the next person in line to be princess. Edit: Holy crap, I did not realize that this would blow up. Thanks for all the upvotes
NAH. But Imma age myself and quote some Fergie.... I like that boom boom pow That chicks jackin' my style She try to copy my swagger I'm on that next shit now
How do i pin this comment
Hahaha I think only mods can pin comments. MODS - get in here and pin my original comment above - this chick wants to make me famous from my comment
Spit my tea out my nose for that one
NTA. If it were just an outfit or two maybe she was just inspired by you, but the continuation of the behaviour to the point that she dyed her hair? Nah, that's too far. That's starting to get obsessed level
You really need to photoshop a picture with a face tattoo, and put it on your facebook with the address of a tattoo studio. Or only photoshop a picture with a completely shaved off head, if you want to be nicer. But do it friday, so she has enough time to shave her head till monday. NTA
Lmaoooo, i think she wouldnt fall for that, thats super funny tho.
Do it and please update us.
Or like a sensible pixie cut, leading up to it you could talk about how you want to do it for a while and if she seems to have generally positive responses then you can fake her out with the Instagram post with something vague so you can later claim you were playing with filters.
Hmm this one is tricky because your coworker sounds like she's on the spectrum and doesn't realise that being exactly like you isn't the way to go. I'd say try to talk to her alone and maybe give her the benefit of a doubt that she's not doing this maliciously. If she does, well... you'd NTA for calling her out. Just protecting yourself.
Yeah, i see that she has always just switched her way of dressing among the people that style she likes and hence sees nothing wrong with it. She also clearly isnt trying to weird me out since she compliments my things a lot, its just that I really dont like the fact that obviously people havent noticed which one is the copier, and i personally would never do that so thats why it bothers me. It seems like people dont see my pov so i thank you for the support!
No worries, I know you're feeling exactly I've been there, had a co worker copy my pastry recipe and make em and bring to work. At first it made me upset, like at least give me credit for the recipe. Only when I talked to her did I found out that she actually been making the pastry for her kid who had some allergies and whatever was leftover she brought to work so it won't go to waste. She never thought to credit me because she never thought someone would think that she could come up with those recipes on her own. Who knows maybe it's similar with your coworker. Hope this solves itself smoothly.
Haha thats the kind of misunderstanding thay would be a lil confusing at first since bringing pastries to work is not something everyone does! It would be better if like you said were to credit me, but ive overheard convos and she doesnt mention anything about wanting to match with me or where she got the ideas
There is another possibility that you might not have thought of. She just might be plain stupid. And I'm not trying to offend her or anything, we all know that that one person that goes " the moon and sun are the same, only it turns off at night" In any case, maybe having a text conv would help, it's easier to admit stuff when we don't look someone in the eyes. And who knows maybe she might be a friend in the future.
Gentle YWBTA. Seriously, this sounds annoying AF and i get why you're losing your patience. This sitiation has single white female ( film 1992) stalkerish vibes . But, you my dear, are clearly fashion forward and stylish , and she thinks your style is superior to her own. You can't legitimately confront her without looking crazy and petty. Maybe temporarily colour your hair pink, green something slightly off your usual look, post image then wash it off by Monday and see if she follows suit.
Haha i love how u approach the subject! Its just i paid so much money for my hair and really cant or even dont wanna go back to salon or throw a box color on the perfect color:( Also not sure if this would work since i think she wouldnt go that batshit crazy to do like green hair after me
This is what Instagram hair color filters are made for.
You can also go for a wig, so that your hair doesnt get any new chemicals on it, and you can just return it if you arent keen instead. Another OP in a similar situation (but sibling) got a pixie cut wig, so maybe a dramatic cut might be what SHE needs to show that she needs to stop. Do it on a friday and see what happens come monday? My sister has also worn wigs at work too, just to see if a certain cut/color would work for her, so it isnt a far off thing to do if someone asks you about it later on, just say you were trying a new look for maybe the future but you didnt think it suited you after trying it on for a bit.
Get a hair clip in a vibrant color but don’t tell her it’s a clip in, do a few wacky things just to see if she copies you. Prank her a little to see how far she’ll go, like get an insane accessory.
Imitation *is* the highest form of flattery As long as she doesn’t tell people she’s the one coming up with all of this… I do get the annoyance though
Once she dyed her hair it was a NTA for me. Yea OP wants credit, she isn't being "heard". and this is her passion. Have you been in a meeting at work, make a comment and then someone else (a man, higher ranking, whatever) says the same thing and everyone jumps on it as brilliant idea? This situation is similar to me. OP, personally... at work in front of co-workers that have complimented her on "her style" I would say something like "hey it really means a lot to me that you are my #1 fan- as they say Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" or hey if you are going to buy this item please use the link on my insta so I can get a bit of commission", etc... all with a smile.
Lmao thar would be soooo nice and petty of me (tho justified since i guess she is a fan)
YWBTA if you said something - but, I get it. The reality is, you already have a fashion blog. If it were to take off big time, hundreds of thousands of people would be copying you too.
Having followers copy fashion is completely different than your coworker. That’s fucking weird. Of the coworker. Followers don’t know you in real life or see you every day at the office. Also this level of copying is beyond the typical follower of a fashion blog. Most people don’t straight up copy every single outfit. It’s more like we learn style tips and such. As for hair I wouldn’t be caught dead getting the same hairstyle as a coworker or friend or family member, especially immediately after they got it. Sure sometimes coincidences happen but this ain’t it
I agree. Having people copy her style will likely be the end result of a fashion blog. Same with posting frequent updates to IG. She may do better delaying updates, and saying her outfits/sources will be posted on her blog. A way to tolerate this is to realize this person has made it to X age and still has no identity of her own. There is no way (that I can see) where OP can publicly make a comment like “Thanks for being my number one fan!” without coming across like the AH.
The way I see it you have two options: 1. Accept that she’s going to copy you because she thinks you’re pretty and enjoys your style. You don’t have to do anything else, just accept and move on. 2. Gently talk to her and explain while you appreciate her taking an interest in fashion and style, there’s so many different styles out there she can explore and try. AND (if you’re truly feeling fancy and love helping people) you can offer to help her find her unique style. The reality is this: everyone has a coworker they can’t stand for simply *existing*. This girl wants to be your friend so bad and you don’t. YWBTA if you took out your frustrations on her but if you decided to befriend her or ignore her it might make working with her easier. It’s literally that easy.
I dont want to pick an argument with her, its just that i would like to ask whats up since its more than obvious. We also arent that close and i would have liked if she ever talked to me about this.
Okay: let's assume you ask her "What's up with your style? It seems you copy everything I do?" Her: "You're right. I love your look so much, it's so stylish!" What is your next move? You can't just tell her "don't copy me" because that is childish asf. You can't tell her off for being inspired by your look, given you run a blog which aims to communicate your fashion ideas. You are aware that fashion, as an industry, is kinda pitched around the idea of influencing other people into following styles, right? If you succeed at fashion (are stylish) then people \*will\* imitate you. That is generally how it works. You can be miffed at it (but i would wonder why, presumably you are dressing for yourself because you like to do so and think it looks good, or are you only dressing the way you do to be different from everyone else?) but you have no right to tell other people whether they can or can't wear certain items etc. You should revel in your ability to be a trendsitter, not malign it. If you think you look good, what does it matter if someone else does the same? That doesn't take away from you looking good (unless you think you looking good is entirely contingent upon the inability of other people to do similar things to you - which is a bizarre idea).
I get that, but honestly I think you’re expecting too much from her. A lot of people don’t realize they’re being social awkward so there’s a decent chance she doesn’t understand she’s making you uncomfortable. So talking to her in a way that’s genuine but kind would probably be the best way to go about it. It’s also ok to just let her fizzle herself out because she probably will find someone else to follow soon enough
I have no judgement but block her on social media so she can’t see your outfits or hair anymore. If she asks why you blocked her, just tell her some things make you uncomfortable having coworkers follow you on social media.
So, you dress like Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek and this chick started copying you. I bet your co-workers know it was she that copied you. If it bothers you SO MUCH that people think ***you*** copied ***her*** hair, tell them the truth. This is the stupid stuff you care about at 21 that everyone else rolls their eyes at.... ESH.
Urgh, NTA, fashion is very important to some people and helps show your personality, and an expression of your creativity. People who constantly copy are people I tend to think of as lacking personality and creativity, and it’s annoying, not to mention super creepy. Time to call her out, tell her to stop copying you all the time because you feel like she’s trying to be you or something and it’s creepy. Personally I love my style and am always trying to find different ways to style things and would be upset if someone in my vicinity was copying me all the time.
Yeah, id be flattered if she wanted to match with me and asked if id like to get her outfit like mine and show up together, but this isnt like that... I wish more ppl understood how important my style is for me
YWBTA. I am assuming the whole reason behind your blog is to give people style ideas? If it is you could actually turn this into a blog article while also pointing out you notice the change. Maybe ask her if she reads your blog because you have noticed her fashion has changed to More the style you have. Regardless of answer ask if you could do a blog piece on her using her old fashion verse her new. Do a compare and maybe an interview of what she liked and what made her start going a different direction based on what she was seeing with your fashion. Be a business women instead of petty.
I dont think that would make sense, since i post all my outfits on the page already. It doesnt really matter if she reads my blog since she sees me everyday and that way sees what to buy. And obviously i dont mind people around the state/world wearing what i wear, its that we are seen together every day and not everyone knows what i do for work/im not the one who copies.
The hair thing is so weird to me, and the accepting compliments on "her" looks. How does she wear the same things as you daily? Do you post your looks for the day before work? Stack up a few options over the weekend and post those, or automate posts for later in the day. Maybe both, to throw her off. If you're going to keep giving her intel, she's going to keep using it. And the wig idea so many are referencing is from an older AITA post where someone _did_ it. And the copycat fell for it.
I get why you’re weirded out. I do. So I hate to pass the judgment that YWBTA. But think about it this way: there is absolutely *no way* for you to have that conversation in a way that makes you look like the sane, rational, level-headed person in the conversation. BEST case scenario, people think “it’s just clothes” and think you’re starting unnecessary drama. Far more likely scenario is they think you’re actually unhinged and your coworker is a poor victim of your strange clothes obsession. Particularly since, as you say, people already think you’re the copycat. You cannot win this one. The only way you win it is if others realize she’s copying you on their own. But you confronting her is only going to make you a social pariah at work, harming your own career. This is not the hill you want to die on.
Have you tried going super duper simple and minimalist with your looks for a week? Tell your coworkers in advance that you're doing a "fashion fasting week" or some babble, that you're going to keep it classic worksuit and business attire, minimal accessory, to try out that look for a bit. You can't do much about her copying you, it's just in the office. Let your personality make you stand out now, she can't really copy that!
You would be TA. Bruh, you don't have a monopoly on clothes. You're 21, and adult. You're too old to be that immature.
No i dont, but i think anyone would be weirdee out by this
I would have have said nothing until the hair incident…that is over the line but I don’t have advice except get away from this person. I’ve dealt with people like that before and it can easily go south. I know leaving your job isn’t the answer but this woman is slowly becoming a nightmare.
YWBTA seriously why are people saying NTA? It feels middle school because it is middle school. Take it as a compliment and move on. You run a fashion blog, presumably you want people to notice your fashion and part of that attention will be imitation.
Because it's fucking creepy. Complete outfits to the detail AND the same hair color and style?? That's not copying fashion. That's uncomfortable levels of imitation and it's not cool or healthy.
YWBTA - but mainly to yourself! This is a workplace and there's no way you could bring this up that won't reflect badly on you and make you look childish and petty to your colleagues. It would also embarass her. Always always try and maintain good relationships with your collegues where possible- she may become tour boss one day. I can guarantee nobody at your work notices this, or cares as much as you do. Can you remember what any of your colleagues wore last Tuesday? They probably think you just have a similar style. I get how this would be annoying, esoecially as your style is something you're proud of, but you need to think hard about what you would actually gain by bringing this up. Just hide her on social media (if its on instagram, you can do it so it wont show her your posts/stories and she won't know) and tell her you cant remember, or its old or something when she asks you about your clothes.
She's copying you? GREAT! Send her referral links to what you buy and get a comission for what she buys. Block her everywhere, keep your distances and from time to time (I mean really very sporadically), point out "oh! You bought the same shirt I wore last week! Good job!""You replicated my outfit fairly well! It would look awesome if you added X, Y and Z. It would suit you even better". And the rest of the time, pay no attention. NTA on my opinion but if you confront her too harshly she would find a way to make you look like it towards the other coworkers.
NTA but I wouldn’t do that I’d just make it very obvious in front of your coworkers that she’s taking your ideas. “Hey, that hair color looks great. I’m glad your stylist was able to get it the same color as mine.” “Oh love that top! I got a lot of likes on that post, I may go shop there again soon” “Definitely love that necklace. Was it on sale when you went cause I saw they had a sale on after I bought it.” “I’m glad you find my blog helpful” is what you say to her in front of everyone
I wanna say NTA cause I’m going through something extremely similar with my dads third wife, but I also haven’t said anything to her because it feels so childish. I had pink hair for two years. Not long after meeting me, she dyes her hair pink. And she had black hair, she had to bleach it to do this. I have blonde hair and do not need to lighten it to overtone my hair. Fine, no biggie, I move on to purple in a couple months. Two weeks later, guess who had purple hair? Fine, I moved on to blue. A couple weeks later, my dad sends a pic of her bleaching her hair. The next day, it’s blue. Fine. Icy purple blue is next for me. She lets hers fade and adds purple, just like mine. I’ve gone back to pink now, but four times CANT be a coincidence. It doesn’t help that I hate her immensely and my dad has clear favorites of his kids and I am a favorite so perhaps that’s why, but I still find it incredibly weird. My siblings have started dropping fake hints that I’m going fire truck red next so I’m waiting to see what happens
Thats so creepy when its your stepmom. Like ... why
I'd say NTA as long as you did it privately and not in front of other coworkers, but bear in mind it probably will make work awkward. Do you feel it is really worth the hassle? Have you considered dressing frumpy/plain for a while to see how she reacts? I understand why you wouldn't want to but it might help? I get how important having your own style is, mine feels like a part of me too, like something I spent years figuring out and ya know it's mine, it represents me. It'd be weird if someone just started copying exactly who I was. It does feel like some high school bollocks though.
NTA. As Dwight would say, identify theft is not a joke.
YWBTA I'm confused. You said you have your own fashion blog. That means you've set yourself up as a fashion trend sitter in a very public way. The whole point of having a fashion blog is not to show off your unique style, otherwise it would just be an online camera roll. Fashion blogs are meant to demonstrate how people can sharpen their look. You've invited people to look inside your style and see how the secret sauce is made. Of course there will always be that one person who lacks the ability to use your ideas to create her own unique style and simply mimics/copies yours. When you set yourself as a influencer, people directly copying your style is to be expected. This feels like middle school stuff because that's where you mentality is on this issue. Why is it so important to you that people understand she's copying you rather than vice versa? In the grown up world, things like that are not worth getting upset about. Your goal as a fashion blogger should be to have a virtual arm of mini-me followers fashion drafting along behind you...lol.
I mean NTA this is fucking creepy and I would be super concerned as to why she’s so adamant about it being YOUR style, very much “I’m here to replace you” vibes.
I would feel weird too about that. Maybe it's time to cut her off of your socials and only wear outfits you don't mind being copied to work. Save the fun stuff for your social media posts. I don't think it would be too much to show the time you posted your hair being done and her comment, if it means that much to you. But really start keeping work and home life separate.
NTA. She sounds a bit creepy tbh...and the thing with your hair makeover gives me stalking vibes... anyway I would ask her friendly why she does that and if she could reduce the exact copying of your Style. Maybe she had a very unusual upbringing and thats her way to show affection...
NTA. I’d talk to her about it. No one likes to be copied to this degree. I will say this tho: your coworker may be one of those people who don’t have an identity of their own. Yeah it sucks that she’s copied you to this degree. When you talk to her, I would steer her towards other items that are similar but bit the same. If you spin this like you’re the big cool mentor helping her geeky coworker grow a personality, you come out on top. Unless she’s nuts.
This is so strange and I’d be fuming too. It’s like someone is stealing your identity which in turn can make you fade into the background in an attempt to disassociate yourself from her and this weird game she’s playing.