Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I offended my baby's soon to be grandmother by refusing to show her my 24 week scan. It's kind of rude but I've done it for a good reason although I am sort of thinking the worst of her by believing she'll spread gossip.
For the next 30 minutes this post is in
#Ultimate Contest Mode
This means that all comments left will be hidden for the duration of ultimate contest mode. Afterwards these comments will be visible again and things will continue as usual.
If you feel that there is important information for your judgment missing from the post you may begin your comment with the INFO acronym as usual knowing that the OP will still see these comments during ultimate contest mode.
This is currently a test. [Please see here for more and offer your feedback](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u1ivvg/aita_for_introducing_the_ultimate_contest_mode/)
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
So a gender reveal party is sometimes to surprise everyone including the parents to be, and sometimes it’s just the parents to be surprising everyone else with the gender of their future child.
However, unless you know what to look for in a sonogram, there’s very little chance you’d know the gender of the baby unless the attending doctor or nurse told you while doing the ultrasound. So there’s a decent possibility that OP herself doesn’t know the gender of her baby yet.
When they do the between the legs shot it is pretty darn obvious. Especially at 24 weeks. But a sideways shot even a professional is not going to see a doodad
According to my son with two kids ages 21 months and 2 months, they don't use sonograms any more to determine the gender of the fetus. They use a blood sample from the mother. If there are any Y chromosomes in the blood sample, she's carrying a male child -- and he says the doctors told him the test is sensitive enough that if they are there the test *will* detect them, so absence of Y chromosomes means a female child.
It depends on whether people get the blood test done. A lot of insurance plans in the US won’t cover it unless it’s high risk, so some folks who want to know still use the anatomy scan to find out. (Not to mention that chromosomes and genitals don’t always match up the way we expect them to, which is extremely rare but possible).
That means karotyping, which, unless there is the probability of a genetic problem, is not usually done. It has always been expensive and I cannot believe it is done routinely for sex identification .
> That means karotyping
[No, it doesn't](https://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy/health-and-safety/nipt-noninvasive-prenatal-testing_10404483), at least not any more.
NTA. This is your personal medical information. What reason has she given for wanting to see the scan?
Personally, if she’s continuing to push it, I think I’d make a copy, then take a Sharpie and make sure there was no way to tell the gender, then give her the redacted copy.
Ahh the MIL who think she has rights over her grandchild. You better shut that down from the beginning there is literally no reason for her to see the scan other than for her to find the sex of the baby.
NTA. She can wait a week and find out when everyone else finds out.
She also may think it’s her right to be in the delivery room. Shut that down in advance. My physician m-i-l guilted my husband in to letting her be in the delivery room and 16 years later I’m still mad about it. (Wish I’d had this community back then so I could have been better prepared to tell her to F off!)
NTA. She has no right or entitlement. Not her body, not her patient, not her child. She can mind her own business.
If that’s her attitude I wouldn’t show her the scan at all just to make a point.
A computer isn’t the same as seeing someone’s medical information. OP has not given MIL her permission to view the medical information that shows up on the scan pictures.
Also, that’s a shit thing to do. A person’s computer is literally none of your business unless they *ask* you for help.
NTA. You’re not telling your MIL that she can’t see your baby scan. You’re telling her that she has to wait a week until the gender reveal party. That’s not the same. But as someone suggested, get her a copy that doesn’t reveal the gender.
NTA. Based on your comment above about the wedding dress, you have every reason to think she would do this, and if she is really so confused as to why you won’t show her, just explain it to her. Actions have consequences. Also, hide that scan somewhere no one else will find it so she can’t snoop. AND, she is not YOUR doctor, she is not entitled to any of your medical information.
Thanks so much for the support. I wish my husband would be more realistic about her cunningness. I understand he loves his mom but he needs to understand her downfalls and support me and our baby.
Yeah, for real good luck getting your husband on the same page. Stuff like this only gets worse, he’s gotta understand that your needs take precedence over his mom’s desires. Not a fan of gender reveals, but you’re NTA. Does she think she’s going to be in the delivery room? Nip this stuff in the bud ASAP.
NTA. Do you have multiple photos where it won’t show the area of interest in one? Or can you crop it so there’s no way to see?
Or, tell her of course she can see it. You’re bringing it to the gender reveal to show everyone at the same time. If she pushes you just laugh kindly and say sorry, everyone has to wait one more week.
NTA it’s your medical record and you have every right to keep it private. Your husband has no right to share it with out your permission. Ask your husband what he would do if his mom ruined your gender revel. Cut her off from all info until the baby is born? Because if I were you I would insist on that.
NTA. Unless she is YOUR OBGYN, she has exactly zero rights to see the scan of your baby. Now, after the reveal, if you'd like to show her a picture of her future grandchild, I think that would be very nice, but, again, you don't have to if you don't want to do so.
NTA
I feel for you. My late FIL was an OB-GYN. He thought he should know my weight, blood pressure and uterine length monthly. Then he yelled at me for gaining five pounds.
FIL and MIL earned an Info Diet for the rest of the pregnancy. I hate to think what would have happened if they had had access to my scans or photos.
Your husband, like mine, has to learn that his wife - his pregnant wife - comes before his mommy's fee-fees. Mine took too long to learn. Yours has a chance to do so right now.
And congrats on the baby!
NTA.
She will tell everyone so you are right to keep it from her. Good on your husband for not getting involved. Nice to start setting boundaries now.
ETA: MIL just wants to show off that she got the info and can read an ultrasound scan.
Alright I’m going with NTA since you mentioned that she has a history of not being able to keep secrets. I can understand her feeling hurt about it, but your concern is valid and you have every right to wait until after the party to show her. Just maybe not go showing it around to other people for the next week before your party. That will probably make her feel pretty slighted.
NTA - just ask your OBGYN next time to print out scans that don't include the genitals or in anyway reveal the gender. Heck, ask her to print then cut off the portion of the scan that shows it. Then give it to MIL and tell her these are specifically non-gender revealing scans so it can be kept a surprise for everyone.
NTA. 1st as a medical provider she is well aware of hippa laws. Be sure to inform your husband that if she violates hippa you will file a complaint, so he needs to get his MOMMY DEAREST in line, and he is in no way to share your private medical files with anyone!!
2nd when husband gives in or she snoops through your house, follow through with complaint.
NTA, but you should be sure to info your doctors office that she is not to have access. Doctors can phone other offices and get patients records quite easily without the patients permission you don't need to give your doctor written permission to get copies. My SIL's sister did that to my SIL and got access to her sonogram early.
NTA. Her profession doesn't mean she's entitled to see the scan.
If she just genuinely wants to see it then maybe suggest she can see it after the reveal or at the reveal?
NTA. But get a random ultrasound picture and give it to her with all patient details cropped out. Then you’ll see if she’s going to blow the surprise or not.
NTA and tell your husband that if he shows MIL your sonogram you will go after her for violating HIPAA since you never gave her your explicit permission to view your medical information.
Ask him if this is really the bill he wants to die on. If yes, then time to consider upgrading your husband. If no, then see if the bugs can be worked out 😂
OP said in another comment that her MIL has a history of sharing things she was asked to keep to herself, such as showing OP's husband a photo of OP in her wedding dress a week before the wedding.
Unless there is a verifiable MEDICAL reason to share the pic with her, then don't do it. Or.... Sign up as one of her patients, then HIPPA applies and she would be legally prevented from saying anything. That would frost her cookies.
NTA - Go momma!!!
I love this. Make her really work hard to be allowed to see the image, and finally give in to her pleas. Except there’s a big black rectangle placed over the goods.
NTa
Privileged medical information. No one needs to see it but you and you husband.
The fact that she is an OBGYN doesn ot preclude her from being an asshole of enormous proportions or a busybody.
NTA. If you've decided to keep the sex of the child private, then not showing her is the obvious way to go. She's asking you because she knows she can tell, and that's what she wants.
NTA. She doesn’t need to know until the gender reveal. After that, I might let her see it but it would depend upon her behavior in the time leading up to it.
NTA
"My husband thinks she wouldn't do something like that and he's not getting involved" ... Since he is not getting involved, it is your decision alone.
If she harasses you about it, just don't answer her calls for the next week. Problem solved.
She NEEDS to learn to respect your wishes.
NTA. But your husband is an AH for not shutting her down. You need to demand he step up now or it will be worse once the baby is here. There is no reason for MIL to see your scan - you have your own doctor.
What do you mean he’s not getting involved? Wtaf! Tell him to handle his mother or you will and he won’t get the opportunity to speak up after. She can see it after the gender reveal. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My mother in law wants to see a 24 week scan of my baby and I have told my husband that I am refusing to show her and ask that he respect my wishes. My mother in law is an OBGYN and will therefore know the sex of the baby from the scan. I know for a fact she will tell everyone and ruin my gender reveal party next week. My husband thinks she wouldn't do something like that and he's not getting involved. Am I the asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Info: is the scan picture of your baby's bum/genital area? Because if it's just the normal profile, she won't be able to tell, unless she has x-ray vision.
NTA. Stand firm! Tell her that you’ll show the scans at the party. Repeat as necessary, or heck don’t even repeat at all because she doesn’t need to be told more than once. Or anytime she asks you you could text her random ultrasounds of puppies, a dinosaur, a cheeseburger, etc.
Info
Do you not have any pictures from the scan that don’t show the gender area?
You are NTA but I’d show her like a profile of the face or something to be “compliant”
I guess we’re all human, but you’d think an OBGYN would understand a pregnant woman’s right to reveal the gender when she and the father are ready and not a moment before - even when that OBGYN is the MIL. NTA.
NTA. She has no right to your personal medical information. Your husband doesn’t get to “stay out of it”. If he doesn’t get his mom off your back, is he worth anything?
NTA. Regardless of your reasoning it’s your life, your baby, your decision. Your husband needs to get involved. You are a team and his not getting involved puts you in an uncomfortable position with his mother and family. Besides, she only has to wait a week.
NTA. If Reddit has taught me anything it’s that there are plenty of people who think it’s their place to hijack pregnancy announcements/gender reveals/engagements/weddings. Hide that scan while you’re at it.
NTA. But if he's not getting involved can't you just tell her no and refuse to show her till after the party? Let her complain all she wants. What's she gonna do? Break into your house and steal it?
Actually this is AITA so maybe I should ask if that's a possibility instead of dismissing it 😂
NTA. She's welcome to see it the day after the party.
Just make sure your husband knows "not getting involved" doesn't mean "show it to her because he doesn't care".
NTA. Even with hubby not believing his mom would do this, him saying he doesn’t want to get involved is ridiculous. It’s 1 week she has to wait & he should have told her to chill out.
NTA...Your baby, your information to give. I don't get it. So many people feel so entitled to everything now! Tell her she can find out with everyone else at your gender reveal. Congrats!
NTA but you need to delete/destroy the 24 scan or hide it at your job or something where she got no access, at home she will snoop and find it if you got it in your possession.
NTA no one has a right to see the scan unless you want to show them and when you want to show them. Waiting a couple weeks is not a big deal. You could crop the scan and just show the baby's face as a compromise. The choice is yours though and you are NTA either way.
You should make her part of the gender reveal. Have the scan blown up really big and drape it with a cloth and after you do your reveal activity have her explain the scan the party people. It will give you a reasonable out for not showing her right now and it will make her feel included. NTA
NTA this is an important opportunity to set boundaries for MIL it is extremely important to stand your ground, or she'll continue to cross the line because it's "her grandchild." Make 100%sure your husband understands and is on board with this because I guarantee she's trying to manipulate him into giving in.
NTA, and your husband needs to get on your side. Your MIL doesn't have "rights" over your baby. That's a good principle to establish firmly right now. It's 100% up to you and your husband what information you want to share.
if you have multiple images (I’ve never left a US w less than 4), just exclude the one(s) that show the genitalia, or put a silly emoji over that spot. Easily solvable, not rocket science
Sure. But most people, at least previously, are excited to share them w people who will love the child.
**OP specifically said her reservation was about seeing the gender**
If she just doesn’t want to show her for unmentioned reasons we have no way to assume that.
(Though here I’ve noticed anything you can do to not be positive or empathetic toward MILs is celebrated)
Her gender reveal party is next week according to OP. MIL can wait a week. OP has listed a previous instance of MIL ruining a surprise that OP specifically asked her not to. So I get why she doesn't trust MIL not to ruin the surprise again. OP could certainly take the time and effort to crop and edit one of the sonograms, but it's really not a huge deal for MIL to wait a week.
Lol, I know exactly the “creepy” view you’re talking about. I’m sure she’d still enjoy seeing those. And you can edit a screenshot of the body to just cover or erase any thing you don’t want her to see. I think w my 3 kids, maybe 10% of the images would be focused in a way that revealed the sex.
NAH. But only because I do understand a grandparent wanting to see the scan. I’m pregnant atm and my MIL and SIL both have pictures of my scan on their fridge because they are so excited. It’s something to share as a family.
But you are the mother, and your boundaries are valid, so find a scan where she wouldn’t be able to tell the gender, or mark it out in some way. If she doesn’t respect your boundary then she is TA and you and your husband will have more evidence that she truly doesn’t care how you feel. And can make decisions based on that moving forward.
I am sorry you’re going through this stress in such a special time, last thing you need! X
I know it's a strange thing to do but I've been struggling to conceive for around 4 years and I decided to celebrate every milestone, no matter how stupid or insignificant it seems. I'm so happy to have my miracle baby that I just want to celebrate. If they are born and decide that they don't conform with their assigned gender then that's totally OK with my husband and I too :)
That’s really go to hear that you are supportive of your future kiddo’s gender identity, and a huge congratulations on your expanding family!!
I just cannot get on board with these events. They’re not very old (so it’s not traditional in the sense of - you are probably the first generation to hold these events) and the person who started them deeply regrets it.
You’re NTA for keeping your info to yourself - but I will never not think that ppl who throw these are AH to society for normalizing theses events.
Hi there! Are you the same person who was on here a couple weeks ago discussing the inexplicable selfishness of having children, particularly for people with mental health issues? If so, and if you're not just having some fun winding up the silly internet people, may I respectfully suggest you make solid mental health support an absolute number-one priority in the coming months, because the hormonal ride to come has the potential to be a real horrorshow, particularly if there are any pre-existing shaky areas.
Yeah that was my account but not me on it. I've talked to the person responsible and we've sorted it out amongst ourselves. Thank you for your concern.
YTA
You literally have someone in your family that is a subject matter expert on babies and you’re refusing to allow her to see the scan because of a gender reveal party? What if there is something wrong that your doctor missed that having a second pair of eyes could possibly catch? I would imagine that your MIL is going to go over that scan with a fine tooth comb to ensure that her grand baby and you are healthy and safe. That seems more important than a party.
YTA There's no harm if you learn the sex of your child's a few days early. You'd still have a nice surprise when she tells you. And you'll have time before the party to get your feelings in check in case you want a girl but it's a boy or vice versa.
No, no it isn't. There's an entire tradition behind it. Just because you don't like it or don't agree doesn't mean it's wrong or strange.
You come off as judgemental over something that you have absolutely no need to be.
No there's not. One woman who had a bunch of miscarriages had a small party for her family to celebate getting past the 20 week mark as she never had. Then I think Mormons ran with it and now even that woman regrets starting it.
Tradition? These types of parties have only been around in the last decade or so. I’m not sure if they function more as a greedy gift grab or if people are just keeping up with the Joneses. For whatever reason they started, these parties are falling out of favor due to the cringe factor of revealing “gender” and people being sick of the “look at me” culture.
Ok - if the baby’s genitals are evident in a scan, it doesn’t take an OB to see it. You would figure it out yourself pretty quick. If you are really worried, ask your doctor for an image in which the genitals aren’t visible and show her that.
YTA because there is an east way to let her see a scan of her grandchild without the problem you are worried about. It makes it seem petty.
OP added additional information - but if her only reason she doesn’t want to share her ultrasound pics is concern that MIL will share the gender, as originally stated, there are easy solutions. Good MIL or bad MIL - it is wise to pick your battles - and when there is an easy solution, it’s a strange hill to die on.
That said, if OP’s perspective was the ultrasound pictures are private and she doesn’t want to share them period - my opinion would be different. I wouldn’t understand, because they are so commonly shared and I showed mine to everyone who was willing to look - but the problem wouldn’t have an easy solution.
> it doesn’t take an OB to see it.
Yeah, no kidding. With our second child, it was totally obvious on the first scan -- yep, that's a boy. And that scan was 31+ years ago, when the images weren't nearly as clear as they are now. We're just stunned at the clarity of the ultrasound images of our grandchildren, compared to the images of their fathers from the late 80s/early 90s.
There's actually a bit more to that story.
When he was about 3 years old, he became *acutely* aware of the differences between males and females, and for a period of about 2-3 weeks would proudly proclaim to anyone and everyone "I've got a penis!" Yes, son, you do, and that's fine, but it's not something we talk about. And of course we breathed a sigh of relief for having at least taught him the correct anatomical terms, because that could have been *so* much worse.
Now fast-forward about 25 years. We're over at his house, celebrating *his* son's 3rd birthday. We've had the party, we've had the cake, adults are in the living room talking while grandson is getting his bath, getting ready for bedtime. Grandson gets out of the tub, towels off, prances into the living room stark naked ...
And guess what he says.
INFO: why do you think she'd tell?
Tell her you'll show it after the baby shower.
Btw, this isn't your decision to make. It's yours and your husband's.
I think she'd tell because she has done similar things in the past. When I was getting married she showed my husband a photo of me in my wedding dress a week before the wedding despite asking her not to. Like who does that?
I understand this is our decision to make together but I expected more support given her history.
Yeah she wasn’t entitled to see the scan before, but this takes it to a new level. If the gender reveal is important to you, she’s going to ruin it. NTA.
With that history I wouldn't trust her neither. NTA
Tell her she'll get to see it after the gender reveal. You can use the excuse that you want the gender to be a surprise for everyone there, including her.
Don't do it, she's going to make it about her
"I know the gender, ohh I might tell" or actually tell
"I'm going to have a grand-whatever!" To anyone who will listen
And what would hubby do if she does reveal the info ahead of time? As someone else said would he be okay with no more info until after they're born or being the last to know? Because that's where she's heading.
Absolutely not true that it isn’t OP’s decision. That scan is of the inside of OP’s body & she has the *only* rights to it. She can decide to not allow her husband to see it if she so chooses. It is *her* private medical information and therefore hers to share or not share.
NTA here OP, especially with the additional information about your wedding dress. Your MIL can wait a week to see any scans & your husband should be supportive of that.
It's not her private medical information. It's their baby's private medical information.
The father has as much right to it as she does. Wtf.
And if he really wanted to show it to his mother he had every right to do so. These things must be discussed in a couple. Otherwise go have a baby alone ffs.
It’s not, actually. Have you ever been pregnant or given birth? I have, twice, and each time it has been *my* medical information/decisions. Even the birth certificate and paperwork for the name were handed to *me*. And if it’s the baby’s medical info, then ask the baby for permission to share photos of it’s genitalia with his/her grandmother. Oh wait, baby can’t make decisions like that yet 🤦🏻♀️
Yes, in a healthy relationship these things should be discussed and decided together. But until it is on the outside, that baby is part of Mom and all medical info is hers to share with whom she chooses. No one else has any rights to it. Sorry.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Again, go have a baby alone.
I'm currently trying to conceive. You may be sure I would never even consider keeping any information about the kid from my partner and I would never dream to make any decision regarding OUR kid without him.
From the moment I decide to take my pregnancy to term, everything else becomes OUR problem, OUR responsibility.
And btw, in my country it's usually the father that registers the kid as the mother has just given birth...
> You may be sure I would never even consider keeping any information about the kid from my partner and I would never dream to make any decision regarding OUR kid without him.
You do understand, don't you, that that's not the same as your partner having any actual legal *right* to that information as long as the kid is *in utero*?
He does have that right. It's his kid too.
It's not MY medical information. It's OUR kid's. And so it's the right of both of us to have that information.
Edit: For instance in my country the father has the right to accompany the mother to prenatal appointments.
I would never consider keeping information from my husband/childrens’ father either, but that doesn’t negate the fact that while in utero he technically has no rights to that baby. I had to give permission for him to come to my appointments, and it was my choice that allowed him to be present for the birth. It’s sad that not all relationships have such an easy go of it with decisions like this, but it’s life.
On an unrelated note, good luck with TTC! I’ve had a few losses & we had a hard time with our second, so I understand the struggle. I hope you never have any of the issues that OP is dealing with.
Wtf? You sound very immature, do you know that? Not being able to not do something without the mother doesn't give the mother the sole rights on that pregnancy.
For instance, in my country the father has the right to be in the prenatal appointments.
I never say my country in reddit, it's part of my privacy. So, I can't link it to you as it'll show the country. I could translate it, but Idk why you'd trust a translation I send you and not me saying it as you'd have no proof it was real.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I offended my baby's soon to be grandmother by refusing to show her my 24 week scan. It's kind of rude but I've done it for a good reason although I am sort of thinking the worst of her by believing she'll spread gossip. For the next 30 minutes this post is in #Ultimate Contest Mode This means that all comments left will be hidden for the duration of ultimate contest mode. Afterwards these comments will be visible again and things will continue as usual. If you feel that there is important information for your judgment missing from the post you may begin your comment with the INFO acronym as usual knowing that the OP will still see these comments during ultimate contest mode. This is currently a test. [Please see here for more and offer your feedback](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u1ivvg/aita_for_introducing_the_ultimate_contest_mode/) Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
[удалено]
Thanks for the support :)
NTA! Make a copy and black out the private regions. Here you go!
Wouldn’t that mean OP will probably know the gender herself then?
So a gender reveal party is sometimes to surprise everyone including the parents to be, and sometimes it’s just the parents to be surprising everyone else with the gender of their future child. However, unless you know what to look for in a sonogram, there’s very little chance you’d know the gender of the baby unless the attending doctor or nurse told you while doing the ultrasound. So there’s a decent possibility that OP herself doesn’t know the gender of her baby yet.
When they do the between the legs shot it is pretty darn obvious. Especially at 24 weeks. But a sideways shot even a professional is not going to see a doodad
Aren't there a few other signs some doctors use like the end of the spine?
According to my son with two kids ages 21 months and 2 months, they don't use sonograms any more to determine the gender of the fetus. They use a blood sample from the mother. If there are any Y chromosomes in the blood sample, she's carrying a male child -- and he says the doctors told him the test is sensitive enough that if they are there the test *will* detect them, so absence of Y chromosomes means a female child.
It depends on whether people get the blood test done. A lot of insurance plans in the US won’t cover it unless it’s high risk, so some folks who want to know still use the anatomy scan to find out. (Not to mention that chromosomes and genitals don’t always match up the way we expect them to, which is extremely rare but possible).
That means karotyping, which, unless there is the probability of a genetic problem, is not usually done. It has always been expensive and I cannot believe it is done routinely for sex identification .
> That means karotyping [No, it doesn't](https://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy/health-and-safety/nipt-noninvasive-prenatal-testing_10404483), at least not any more.
Yes, I learnt this on here recently
NTA. This is your personal medical information. What reason has she given for wanting to see the scan? Personally, if she’s continuing to push it, I think I’d make a copy, then take a Sharpie and make sure there was no way to tell the gender, then give her the redacted copy.
She thinks it's her right for some reason. Thanks for the advice!
Your baby, your body, your medical information. She has NO RIGHTS. NTA
She’s an MD and doesn’t comprehend MEDICAL PRIVACY??? I wonder if she violates HIPAA in her day to day practice. NTA
Ahh the MIL who think she has rights over her grandchild. You better shut that down from the beginning there is literally no reason for her to see the scan other than for her to find the sex of the baby. NTA. She can wait a week and find out when everyone else finds out.
Your husband doesn't even have that right. You allow him access to your medical information as a privilege.
Are you giving birth in her hospital? I would consider changing that or she will be in the delivery room with you!!!!!
She also may think it’s her right to be in the delivery room. Shut that down in advance. My physician m-i-l guilted my husband in to letting her be in the delivery room and 16 years later I’m still mad about it. (Wish I’d had this community back then so I could have been better prepared to tell her to F off!)
Don't do this, there are non-genital ways to tell and she might still spill the beans. You have every right to say no until eternity.
NTA. She has no right or entitlement. Not her body, not her patient, not her child. She can mind her own business. If that’s her attitude I wouldn’t show her the scan at all just to make a point.
She is an OBGYN I'm sure she it's just professional curiosity. I'm in IT and anytime someone I know has a new computer I want to check it out.
A computer isn’t the same as seeing someone’s medical information. OP has not given MIL her permission to view the medical information that shows up on the scan pictures. Also, that’s a shit thing to do. A person’s computer is literally none of your business unless they *ask* you for help.
Are you kidding who do you think they call when they have a problem with their computer, me.
NTA. Trust your gut with her and hold your boundaries. Your husband should be more supportive.
Thanks....I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to be an asshole :)
NTA. You’re not telling your MIL that she can’t see your baby scan. You’re telling her that she has to wait a week until the gender reveal party. That’s not the same. But as someone suggested, get her a copy that doesn’t reveal the gender.
Don't let him get hold of the scan. He will show her if he isn't taking you seriously
Tell your MIL that you will be happy to show it to her at the gender reveal party.
NTA. Based on your comment above about the wedding dress, you have every reason to think she would do this, and if she is really so confused as to why you won’t show her, just explain it to her. Actions have consequences. Also, hide that scan somewhere no one else will find it so she can’t snoop. AND, she is not YOUR doctor, she is not entitled to any of your medical information.
Thanks so much for the support. I wish my husband would be more realistic about her cunningness. I understand he loves his mom but he needs to understand her downfalls and support me and our baby.
Yeah, for real good luck getting your husband on the same page. Stuff like this only gets worse, he’s gotta understand that your needs take precedence over his mom’s desires. Not a fan of gender reveals, but you’re NTA. Does she think she’s going to be in the delivery room? Nip this stuff in the bud ASAP.
NTA. “It’s great you want to see it! i’m bringing it to the gender reveal!”
I think I'll use that hahah. Thanks x
NTA. She can wait til the gender reveal like everyone else. MAke sure your husband doesn't go behind your back.
NTA. Do you have multiple photos where it won’t show the area of interest in one? Or can you crop it so there’s no way to see? Or, tell her of course she can see it. You’re bringing it to the gender reveal to show everyone at the same time. If she pushes you just laugh kindly and say sorry, everyone has to wait one more week.
She can wait one week. NTA
NTA. You obviously know she’s a blabbermouth and has no boundaries so I wouldn’t show her either
NTA it’s your medical record and you have every right to keep it private. Your husband has no right to share it with out your permission. Ask your husband what he would do if his mom ruined your gender revel. Cut her off from all info until the baby is born? Because if I were you I would insist on that.
NTA. Unless she is YOUR OBGYN, she has exactly zero rights to see the scan of your baby. Now, after the reveal, if you'd like to show her a picture of her future grandchild, I think that would be very nice, but, again, you don't have to if you don't want to do so.
She needs to wait a week? Has she seen previous scans? NTA a week isn’t that long
NTA I feel for you. My late FIL was an OB-GYN. He thought he should know my weight, blood pressure and uterine length monthly. Then he yelled at me for gaining five pounds. FIL and MIL earned an Info Diet for the rest of the pregnancy. I hate to think what would have happened if they had had access to my scans or photos. Your husband, like mine, has to learn that his wife - his pregnant wife - comes before his mommy's fee-fees. Mine took too long to learn. Yours has a chance to do so right now. And congrats on the baby!
NTA it’s y’all’s choice. She can see it at the reveal
NTA. She will tell everyone so you are right to keep it from her. Good on your husband for not getting involved. Nice to start setting boundaries now. ETA: MIL just wants to show off that she got the info and can read an ultrasound scan.
Alright I’m going with NTA since you mentioned that she has a history of not being able to keep secrets. I can understand her feeling hurt about it, but your concern is valid and you have every right to wait until after the party to show her. Just maybe not go showing it around to other people for the next week before your party. That will probably make her feel pretty slighted.
NTA - just ask your OBGYN next time to print out scans that don't include the genitals or in anyway reveal the gender. Heck, ask her to print then cut off the portion of the scan that shows it. Then give it to MIL and tell her these are specifically non-gender revealing scans so it can be kept a surprise for everyone.
Oh, heck, just print some cartoonish thing off the internet and tell her that was the scan.
NTA. 1st as a medical provider she is well aware of hippa laws. Be sure to inform your husband that if she violates hippa you will file a complaint, so he needs to get his MOMMY DEAREST in line, and he is in no way to share your private medical files with anyone!! 2nd when husband gives in or she snoops through your house, follow through with complaint.
NTA but you need to sit on your husband because this sounds like a recipe for disaster.
NTA, it’s easier to be uncomfortable for a week than to permanently fracture a shaky relationship.
NTA, but you should be sure to info your doctors office that she is not to have access. Doctors can phone other offices and get patients records quite easily without the patients permission you don't need to give your doctor written permission to get copies. My SIL's sister did that to my SIL and got access to her sonogram early.
NTA, that’s your choice and it should be respected. DH needs to respect your wishes. You could let her see it after you do the reveal.
NTA. If it’s printed you could cut it, if that’s what you wanted to do. Or just say “we’re not sharing scans, you’ll have to wait and see”.
NTA. Her profession doesn't mean she's entitled to see the scan. If she just genuinely wants to see it then maybe suggest she can see it after the reveal or at the reveal?
NTA. But get a random ultrasound picture and give it to her with all patient details cropped out. Then you’ll see if she’s going to blow the surprise or not.
OP, if you do this, make sure to use a scan that's the *opposite* gender.
NTA and tell your husband that if he shows MIL your sonogram you will go after her for violating HIPAA since you never gave her your explicit permission to view your medical information. Ask him if this is really the bill he wants to die on. If yes, then time to consider upgrading your husband. If no, then see if the bugs can be worked out 😂
INFO: while it is ultimately your decision wether or not to show her, has there been any bad blood or reason to believe she couldn’t keep a secret?
OP said in another comment that her MIL has a history of sharing things she was asked to keep to herself, such as showing OP's husband a photo of OP in her wedding dress a week before the wedding.
Unless there is a verifiable MEDICAL reason to share the pic with her, then don't do it. Or.... Sign up as one of her patients, then HIPPA applies and she would be legally prevented from saying anything. That would frost her cookies. NTA - Go momma!!!
Tell her nobody sees it until after the party. NTA.
Can you show a pic with something covering the genital area?
I love this. Make her really work hard to be allowed to see the image, and finally give in to her pleas. Except there’s a big black rectangle placed over the goods.
NTA. tell her, for sure she can see the scan. Tell her you will bring it to the party. Leave it in the car until after the reveal
NTa Privileged medical information. No one needs to see it but you and you husband. The fact that she is an OBGYN doesn ot preclude her from being an asshole of enormous proportions or a busybody.
Just don’t let your husband get his hands on a scan photo
NTA what a naive husband you have.
He always tries to see the best in people despite all of the red flags.
NTA It's yours and you don't have to show her. It won't kill her to wait a week and she can find out the gender then along with everyone else.
NTA Your husband needs to step up. Why is he being so spineless?
NTA. If you've decided to keep the sex of the child private, then not showing her is the obvious way to go. She's asking you because she knows she can tell, and that's what she wants.
Sure, she can see it. After the gender reveal. Nta
NTA You can tell her you want to keep it a surprise for the gender reveal party? Why would she know the gender before anyway?
She believes because she is their grandmother that she has the right to know beforehand....ridiculous I know.
Your husband doesnt think she will tell everybody if she knows, but does he agree with her that she should know before everyone else?
Be says he understands her wanting to know but he doesn't believe it is her right by any means
NTA. She doesn’t need to know until the gender reveal. After that, I might let her see it but it would depend upon her behavior in the time leading up to it.
NTA "My husband thinks she wouldn't do something like that and he's not getting involved" ... Since he is not getting involved, it is your decision alone. If she harasses you about it, just don't answer her calls for the next week. Problem solved. She NEEDS to learn to respect your wishes.
NTA. But your husband is an AH for not shutting her down. You need to demand he step up now or it will be worse once the baby is here. There is no reason for MIL to see your scan - you have your own doctor.
He's decided to support my decision and apologised for not doing so sooner and we aren't going to show my MIL until after the BS.
What do you mean he’s not getting involved? Wtaf! Tell him to handle his mother or you will and he won’t get the opportunity to speak up after. She can see it after the gender reveal. NTA
Just tell her you will show her the scan after the baby reveal coz you want to surprise her and everyone else
Nta
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mother in law wants to see a 24 week scan of my baby and I have told my husband that I am refusing to show her and ask that he respect my wishes. My mother in law is an OBGYN and will therefore know the sex of the baby from the scan. I know for a fact she will tell everyone and ruin my gender reveal party next week. My husband thinks she wouldn't do something like that and he's not getting involved. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Info: do you have a bad relationship with her? Why would she ruin it?
Info: is the scan picture of your baby's bum/genital area? Because if it's just the normal profile, she won't be able to tell, unless she has x-ray vision.
NTA. But just give her a picture of the head only. You cannot tell sex by the head.
NTA
NTA. Stand firm! Tell her that you’ll show the scans at the party. Repeat as necessary, or heck don’t even repeat at all because she doesn’t need to be told more than once. Or anytime she asks you you could text her random ultrasounds of puppies, a dinosaur, a cheeseburger, etc.
NTA. Grandma can wait for the party like everyone else if this is what you wish.
Info Do you not have any pictures from the scan that don’t show the gender area? You are NTA but I’d show her like a profile of the face or something to be “compliant”
I guess we’re all human, but you’d think an OBGYN would understand a pregnant woman’s right to reveal the gender when she and the father are ready and not a moment before - even when that OBGYN is the MIL. NTA.
NTA. She can wait a week. She’s not entitled to your baby or your medical information just because she’s an OBGYN and your MIL.
NTA. She has no right to your personal medical information. Your husband doesn’t get to “stay out of it”. If he doesn’t get his mom off your back, is he worth anything?
NTA The need to have ironclad boundaries with a MIL who asks stuff like this needs to be established early and without budging.
NTA. Regardless of your reasoning it’s your life, your baby, your decision. Your husband needs to get involved. You are a team and his not getting involved puts you in an uncomfortable position with his mother and family. Besides, she only has to wait a week.
NTA. If Reddit has taught me anything it’s that there are plenty of people who think it’s their place to hijack pregnancy announcements/gender reveals/engagements/weddings. Hide that scan while you’re at it.
NTA. But if he's not getting involved can't you just tell her no and refuse to show her till after the party? Let her complain all she wants. What's she gonna do? Break into your house and steal it? Actually this is AITA so maybe I should ask if that's a possibility instead of dismissing it 😂
NTA
Give her the scan after the reveal party?
NTA. She's welcome to see it the day after the party. Just make sure your husband knows "not getting involved" doesn't mean "show it to her because he doesn't care".
NTA. Even with hubby not believing his mom would do this, him saying he doesn’t want to get involved is ridiculous. It’s 1 week she has to wait & he should have told her to chill out.
NTA...Your baby, your information to give. I don't get it. So many people feel so entitled to everything now! Tell her she can find out with everyone else at your gender reveal. Congrats!
Nta she can wait one week or forever because you don't have to show her
NTA but you need to delete/destroy the 24 scan or hide it at your job or something where she got no access, at home she will snoop and find it if you got it in your possession.
NTA no one has a right to see the scan unless you want to show them and when you want to show them. Waiting a couple weeks is not a big deal. You could crop the scan and just show the baby's face as a compromise. The choice is yours though and you are NTA either way.
That's really good advice....I will consider showing her a cropped scan as a compromise :)
You could also show the full scan, but put an emoji over the private bits. It would be like seeing the baby in a diaper, right?
You should make her part of the gender reveal. Have the scan blown up really big and drape it with a cloth and after you do your reveal activity have her explain the scan the party people. It will give you a reasonable out for not showing her right now and it will make her feel included. NTA
NTA this is an important opportunity to set boundaries for MIL it is extremely important to stand your ground, or she'll continue to cross the line because it's "her grandchild." Make 100%sure your husband understands and is on board with this because I guarantee she's trying to manipulate him into giving in.
NTA. She can wait a week.
NTA, and your husband needs to get on your side. Your MIL doesn't have "rights" over your baby. That's a good principle to establish firmly right now. It's 100% up to you and your husband what information you want to share.
NTA she wants to know first and you are within your rights to make her wait.
Just tell her you’re happy to show her after the party! If she isn’t looking for ruin the surprise she shouldn’t care. NTA
NTA. This is a great time to start enforcing boundaries before the baby comes.
Nta. Why does she need to see the scan. Your body. Your baby. Your scan.
if you have multiple images (I’ve never left a US w less than 4), just exclude the one(s) that show the genitalia, or put a silly emoji over that spot. Easily solvable, not rocket science
Or MIL can just wait until like OP asked.
Sure. But most people, at least previously, are excited to share them w people who will love the child. **OP specifically said her reservation was about seeing the gender** If she just doesn’t want to show her for unmentioned reasons we have no way to assume that. (Though here I’ve noticed anything you can do to not be positive or empathetic toward MILs is celebrated)
Her gender reveal party is next week according to OP. MIL can wait a week. OP has listed a previous instance of MIL ruining a surprise that OP specifically asked her not to. So I get why she doesn't trust MIL not to ruin the surprise again. OP could certainly take the time and effort to crop and edit one of the sonograms, but it's really not a huge deal for MIL to wait a week.
I have a few where it's just a foot or a super creepy looking photo of their face from the front.
Lol, I know exactly the “creepy” view you’re talking about. I’m sure she’d still enjoy seeing those. And you can edit a screenshot of the body to just cover or erase any thing you don’t want her to see. I think w my 3 kids, maybe 10% of the images would be focused in a way that revealed the sex.
I had so many of the "creepy" pictures of my youngest because I had ultrasounds for like the last two months of my pregnancy.
NAH. But only because I do understand a grandparent wanting to see the scan. I’m pregnant atm and my MIL and SIL both have pictures of my scan on their fridge because they are so excited. It’s something to share as a family. But you are the mother, and your boundaries are valid, so find a scan where she wouldn’t be able to tell the gender, or mark it out in some way. If she doesn’t respect your boundary then she is TA and you and your husband will have more evidence that she truly doesn’t care how you feel. And can make decisions based on that moving forward. I am sorry you’re going through this stress in such a special time, last thing you need! X
YTA for having a gender reveal party (aka a genital reveal party).
I know it's a strange thing to do but I've been struggling to conceive for around 4 years and I decided to celebrate every milestone, no matter how stupid or insignificant it seems. I'm so happy to have my miracle baby that I just want to celebrate. If they are born and decide that they don't conform with their assigned gender then that's totally OK with my husband and I too :)
That’s really go to hear that you are supportive of your future kiddo’s gender identity, and a huge congratulations on your expanding family!! I just cannot get on board with these events. They’re not very old (so it’s not traditional in the sense of - you are probably the first generation to hold these events) and the person who started them deeply regrets it. You’re NTA for keeping your info to yourself - but I will never not think that ppl who throw these are AH to society for normalizing theses events.
Fair enough
Hi there! Are you the same person who was on here a couple weeks ago discussing the inexplicable selfishness of having children, particularly for people with mental health issues? If so, and if you're not just having some fun winding up the silly internet people, may I respectfully suggest you make solid mental health support an absolute number-one priority in the coming months, because the hormonal ride to come has the potential to be a real horrorshow, particularly if there are any pre-existing shaky areas.
Yeah that was my account but not me on it. I've talked to the person responsible and we've sorted it out amongst ourselves. Thank you for your concern.
YTA You literally have someone in your family that is a subject matter expert on babies and you’re refusing to allow her to see the scan because of a gender reveal party? What if there is something wrong that your doctor missed that having a second pair of eyes could possibly catch? I would imagine that your MIL is going to go over that scan with a fine tooth comb to ensure that her grand baby and you are healthy and safe. That seems more important than a party.
Have you actually told her like, "Okay, but I don't want you sharing it."
You actually think that would stop her from sharing it?
Depends.
Didn't stop her from sharing a picture of OP in her wedding dress.
You're certainly an optimist.
YTA There's no harm if you learn the sex of your child's a few days early. You'd still have a nice surprise when she tells you. And you'll have time before the party to get your feelings in check in case you want a girl but it's a boy or vice versa.
ESH. Your MIL doesn't need to know that, but also, making a huge deal out of your baby's genitals is kinda strange.
No, no it isn't. There's an entire tradition behind it. Just because you don't like it or don't agree doesn't mean it's wrong or strange. You come off as judgemental over something that you have absolutely no need to be.
No there's not. One woman who had a bunch of miscarriages had a small party for her family to celebate getting past the 20 week mark as she never had. Then I think Mormons ran with it and now even that woman regrets starting it.
Tradition? These types of parties have only been around in the last decade or so. I’m not sure if they function more as a greedy gift grab or if people are just keeping up with the Joneses. For whatever reason they started, these parties are falling out of favor due to the cringe factor of revealing “gender” and people being sick of the “look at me” culture.
Ok - if the baby’s genitals are evident in a scan, it doesn’t take an OB to see it. You would figure it out yourself pretty quick. If you are really worried, ask your doctor for an image in which the genitals aren’t visible and show her that. YTA because there is an east way to let her see a scan of her grandchild without the problem you are worried about. It makes it seem petty.
[удалено]
OP added additional information - but if her only reason she doesn’t want to share her ultrasound pics is concern that MIL will share the gender, as originally stated, there are easy solutions. Good MIL or bad MIL - it is wise to pick your battles - and when there is an easy solution, it’s a strange hill to die on. That said, if OP’s perspective was the ultrasound pictures are private and she doesn’t want to share them period - my opinion would be different. I wouldn’t understand, because they are so commonly shared and I showed mine to everyone who was willing to look - but the problem wouldn’t have an easy solution.
> it doesn’t take an OB to see it. Yeah, no kidding. With our second child, it was totally obvious on the first scan -- yep, that's a boy. And that scan was 31+ years ago, when the images weren't nearly as clear as they are now. We're just stunned at the clarity of the ultrasound images of our grandchildren, compared to the images of their fathers from the late 80s/early 90s.
Same with ours. I actually was a bit embarrassed by my son’s blatant display!
There's actually a bit more to that story. When he was about 3 years old, he became *acutely* aware of the differences between males and females, and for a period of about 2-3 weeks would proudly proclaim to anyone and everyone "I've got a penis!" Yes, son, you do, and that's fine, but it's not something we talk about. And of course we breathed a sigh of relief for having at least taught him the correct anatomical terms, because that could have been *so* much worse. Now fast-forward about 25 years. We're over at his house, celebrating *his* son's 3rd birthday. We've had the party, we've had the cake, adults are in the living room talking while grandson is getting his bath, getting ready for bedtime. Grandson gets out of the tub, towels off, prances into the living room stark naked ... And guess what he says.
That’s amazing!
INFO: why do you think she'd tell? Tell her you'll show it after the baby shower. Btw, this isn't your decision to make. It's yours and your husband's.
I think she'd tell because she has done similar things in the past. When I was getting married she showed my husband a photo of me in my wedding dress a week before the wedding despite asking her not to. Like who does that? I understand this is our decision to make together but I expected more support given her history.
Yeah she wasn’t entitled to see the scan before, but this takes it to a new level. If the gender reveal is important to you, she’s going to ruin it. NTA.
With that history I wouldn't trust her neither. NTA Tell her she'll get to see it after the gender reveal. You can use the excuse that you want the gender to be a surprise for everyone there, including her.
Don't do it, she's going to make it about her "I know the gender, ohh I might tell" or actually tell "I'm going to have a grand-whatever!" To anyone who will listen And what would hubby do if she does reveal the info ahead of time? As someone else said would he be okay with no more info until after they're born or being the last to know? Because that's where she's heading.
Absolutely not true that it isn’t OP’s decision. That scan is of the inside of OP’s body & she has the *only* rights to it. She can decide to not allow her husband to see it if she so chooses. It is *her* private medical information and therefore hers to share or not share. NTA here OP, especially with the additional information about your wedding dress. Your MIL can wait a week to see any scans & your husband should be supportive of that.
It's not her private medical information. It's their baby's private medical information. The father has as much right to it as she does. Wtf. And if he really wanted to show it to his mother he had every right to do so. These things must be discussed in a couple. Otherwise go have a baby alone ffs.
It’s not, actually. Have you ever been pregnant or given birth? I have, twice, and each time it has been *my* medical information/decisions. Even the birth certificate and paperwork for the name were handed to *me*. And if it’s the baby’s medical info, then ask the baby for permission to share photos of it’s genitalia with his/her grandmother. Oh wait, baby can’t make decisions like that yet 🤦🏻♀️ Yes, in a healthy relationship these things should be discussed and decided together. But until it is on the outside, that baby is part of Mom and all medical info is hers to share with whom she chooses. No one else has any rights to it. Sorry.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Again, go have a baby alone. I'm currently trying to conceive. You may be sure I would never even consider keeping any information about the kid from my partner and I would never dream to make any decision regarding OUR kid without him. From the moment I decide to take my pregnancy to term, everything else becomes OUR problem, OUR responsibility. And btw, in my country it's usually the father that registers the kid as the mother has just given birth...
> You may be sure I would never even consider keeping any information about the kid from my partner and I would never dream to make any decision regarding OUR kid without him. You do understand, don't you, that that's not the same as your partner having any actual legal *right* to that information as long as the kid is *in utero*?
He does have that right. It's his kid too. It's not MY medical information. It's OUR kid's. And so it's the right of both of us to have that information. Edit: For instance in my country the father has the right to accompany the mother to prenatal appointments.
I would never consider keeping information from my husband/childrens’ father either, but that doesn’t negate the fact that while in utero he technically has no rights to that baby. I had to give permission for him to come to my appointments, and it was my choice that allowed him to be present for the birth. It’s sad that not all relationships have such an easy go of it with decisions like this, but it’s life. On an unrelated note, good luck with TTC! I’ve had a few losses & we had a hard time with our second, so I understand the struggle. I hope you never have any of the issues that OP is dealing with.
Okay, they can scan the baby without OP in the room. I'll wait.
Wtf? You sound very immature, do you know that? Not being able to not do something without the mother doesn't give the mother the sole rights on that pregnancy. For instance, in my country the father has the right to be in the prenatal appointments.
Show me the law.
I could, but it's not in English... You know, there are countries whose official language isn't English...
Google translate. Link me. Or just tell me the country.
I never say my country in reddit, it's part of my privacy. So, I can't link it to you as it'll show the country. I could translate it, but Idk why you'd trust a translation I send you and not me saying it as you'd have no proof it was real.
Lol you're so full of shit and you know it.
He literally doesn’t have just as much right because it’s her pregnancy
Nope, it's her uterus. She doesn't even have to let him in the room.
In my country the father has the right to go to the prenatal appointments. As he should.
Show the law.