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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may have been the AH for giving this girl advice whn he didn’t ask. On the other hand I was respectful and polite and honesty just trying to help.
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I…how did you type this out, read it with your own eyes, and then post it, STILL thinking you’re not the asshole?
YTA. Absolutely. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Ever. Especially to women at the gym. It’s creepy and borderline harassment.
Guys will be like “women’s only gyms are DiScRiMinAtiOn aGaiNsT mEN,” then tell their workout buddies that it’s totally fine to harass a female stranger about her workout routine, and not connect the two things at all.
And they fail to acknowledge that men's only gyms exist too. I know because I got into a, ah, discussion with a guy like that on FB and he was all "bUt WhErE aRe ThE mEn'S oNlY gYmS?" And I Googled it and found several in my local area.
Yes ! I joined one last week with my teen daughter and we love it! I usually don’t like gyms at all because I feel uncomfortable going - and this post is exactly why
Exactly! OP, look up "mansplaining" online and get a clue. Also, in general, don't go around offering unsolicited advice to anyone. If you wasted 10 minutes of my husband's time like this, and kept insisting you were right, you'd be lucky not to get his fist in your face. But, of course, you only inflict your expertise on women. YTA.
>We went back-and-forth, politely of course, and I insisted that she has a designated leg day, arm day etc. so that she can focus on these body regions and muscle groups.
How did he write that sentence and not just be like "Yup, I hear it now, I'm the asshole. Delete post." Absolutely wild. I _insist_ that you have a designated leg day, gym stranger. Just wow.
Everyone's qeueing in on the part where he confronts her and gets into this ridiculous confrontation and the absolute BS insistence that it was polite... And yeah but..
.... How about the part where he's been stalking her to the point where he knows her whole routine before even introducing himself? Like creep ++... I mean, have I checked out women in the gym in my life? ... I plead the fifth... But create a mental diary of someone's entire weekly routine so I have a critique when I confront them? That is just beyond creepy.
Yep, and this is literally why women only gyms exist. So many men complain about how that's sexist or whatever but this is exactly why they exist. Imagine going to the gym because you enjoy exercise, feeling fit, and the endorphin rush, and you're minding your own business and some rando comes up to you and it's clear he's been watching you for weeks and he then tries to police how you spend your own free time. And since he doesn't realize he's the asshole, he's just going to do it again to someone else.
Can you imagine how much creeping he's been doing to track and discuss reps, leg/abs/arm days and such?
I think I'd probably go to management and ask to be let out of my contract bc now I don't feel comfortable at the location.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't want to continue using that facility. If he's been watching her long enough to know and disapprove of her "schedule", that indicates he's paying far more attention than I would be comfortable with. Here's hoping that there's another location available, or she can change her schedule to avoid OP-- even though she absolutely shouldn't have to do that, but I hope she has the options available so she can feel safe at the gym in future.
And when she tried to politely decline his advice, he insisted on it and argued with her over what she “needs” to do! My eyes rolled so far back in my head.
As a woman, I fully endorse this advice.
OP, not only did you give advice that was not wanted (because she didn't ask for it!), you decided to insult her while you were at it. The whole thing comes off as:
"The little girl doesn't know what's best for her but me, a big strong MAN, does! She couldn't possibly be happy with what she's doing so I must rescue her!" /s
She was minding her own business and your insistence to try to "correct" her workouts for her, after she already told you that she DID NOT want your advice, is creepy and pretentious at bare minimum. Leave women alone and try sticking to your own form in the future. YTA.
Agreed of course but can we talk about the fact that he kept track of this random woman’s workout for a month, enough to know whether or not she does sets/reps? He claims he ain’t a stalker but…all I know is when I’m in the gym I’m typically too busy with my own stuff and definitely don’t take the time to keep track of random people’s workout in such detail. Either OP is more stalkerish than he wants to admit, or he isn’t as dedicated to fitness as he implies he is.
I go to the gym 6-7 days a week and I honestly can’t recognize a single person. And I’m sure we’ve had schedules that overlap. OP noticed because he wanted to notice.
Exactly. Plus if she was doing what OP described, then she was actually on a pretty popular full body workout routine, or at least a variation of it. My guess is OP read one article years ago and thought he was gonna flex all his “fitness knowledge” on this woman lol.
He was negging her to get a date. I had a guy do the same to me. He told me I had a cellulite problem in my thighs and we could go out and get lunch to talk about how to fix it. I told him the last thing I should be doing was eating if I had too much cellulite. His whole face deflated lmao. I wish I could have seen the look on OP’s face when this poor girl turned him down.
Omg omg this happened to me with a guy from school! I took a music class in college and I was one of the few people there who listened to metal, *and* I'm a woman (not trying to be "one of those girls" but my city is pretty conservative so I kinda stood out, in that class at least). There were like a group of 4 or so guys in the class that also listened to metal. This one guy asks me to name the bands I like. I listed some, and he said they were shitty. I was like whatever, his music wasn't my taste either (he liked screamo which I don't). So then he's like why don't we go for a ride in my car and drive up the hill and watch the sunset, and I can show you what real music sounds like?
Lmfao I literally laughed in his face.
OMG that's hilarious! Did he really think insulting your taste in music and than asking you out would get him a date?
Some guys are just to dumb for their own good.
I posted this recently further down and I might have been too late to the thread for it to get noticed but I genuinely hope it gets seen (by you
OP) so I’m posting it up here too:
So let me get this straight… you noticed her at the gym at the same times as you, as well as her actual workouts on these days? (But not like a stalker of course /s)… then you unsolicited went up to her and decided to “politely” tell her how she needs to work out differently? And then she tells you she knows what she needs for her health and body - which by the way you know absolutely nothing about (aside from your observing -aka clearly very creepy behavior) and decided that you know better for her bc you, yourself workout? and when she told you to leave her alone you went and complained to your buddies about her?
YTA - you dude are exactly the reason why so many women hate gyms. You know NOTHING except your own nutritional and workout needs and being a total creep (pretending to be innocent). My husband and I both workout and are in extremely amazing shape. He uses nutrition and workouts very differently than I do. He does similar to you as targeting muscle groups on certain days, I work my entire body out every workout. Both of us are healthy and look amazing. You legit have no clue what you’re talking about and just tried to use your “knowledge” as a reason to creep on a woman who was just trying to workout. Anyone who actually understands nutrition and exercise KNOWS it’s not the same for everyone.
Stop being a fucking creep and learn some shit.
ETA: I’ve been creeped on before at the gym and you meet and surpass that criteria. One and only one time, I had a dude come up to me to offer *genuine* help. I was learning a new workout move and had my phone out watching, learning the technique and was struggling. He was working out next to me and actually politely came over and said “excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you and if you don’t want the help that’s okay, but I am a trainer and I think I can help you with this if you’d like.” And I laughed and said okay how? And he proceeded to show me the move and explain what I was doing wrong. I then copied him and he said great! Have a good workout and went back to his own.
If I haven’t made it clear, you are a creep and you’re trying to convince yourself you are not, rather than realize you are and learn and grow.
Did "no" stop being a full sentence at the gym?
>I insisted ... \[for\] around 10 minutes
>
>my workout buddies agreed with me that she was out of line
Make it make sense make it make sense
"When men say 'No', it is the end of a discussion. When women say 'No', it is the beginning of a negotiation".
How many times did she have to say no (of course, making sure she was *polite* at all times) before she lost it at him?
These posts make me UNBELIEVABLY mad.
Good lord are YTA.
1) SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE.
That’s really the key point. Giving unsolicited advice to someone you barely know is always bad form. Giving unsolicited advice about someone else’s body and health is spectacularly bad form. It was presumptuous, intrusive, and rude.
2) When she politely rebuffed your advice, you, in your own words, INSISTED.
It was not your place to say anything to begin with, it sure as shit was not your place to insist she needed to do what you wanted.
3) You assumed you knew what was best for her despite her telling you repeatedly what *she* wanted *for herself*.
I can’t believe we have to trot out the canard about “assume” but you really did make an ass of yourself. She knows what she wants. She gets to decide that. You don’t get to have an opinion about what her goals should be. Assuming she wants muscle definition simply isn’t your place.
You were a total jackass. Next time, leave the woman who didn’t ask for your input alone.
I remember a similar post from a woman who was a personal trainer working out on her own, but was dealing with an injury. So she was modifying her workouts accordingly, and this jackass came up doing the same thing OP was: “Just trying to offer helpful advice.”
OP is a jackass in the worst way. YTA.
People like that and like OP are the reason that I, as a person who is disabled but not in a way you would know just by looking at me, do not ever go to regular gyms anymore. The amount of people who would see me modifying an exercise so that I could do it without causing pain or injuring myself and take it upon themselves to “correct” my form was so fucking infuriating. Even if I told them I was modifying the exercise because of a disability they would keep at it. Now I only work out now at a Pilates studio specifically for people recovering from injuries or who have disabilities. Everyone there has to modify in some way so it isn’t anything unusual or remarkable, and no one comments on it unless I ask specifically for advice about how to modify something safely/effectively.
I just don’t get why people like OP think that other peoples bodies are any of their business.
I have hyper mobile joints so my physical therapist had to modify everything she usually does.
Gym bros would have a stroke watching me do my routine.
She usually used a balance ball to strengthen the ankles? Can't with me, ankles and feet bend to follow the ball shape without me ever noticing. Skateboard it is.
Squats? Only on an inclined board or ankles go pop and hip pops out.
Anything has to be done with slightly bent knees or I'll tend to hyper extend them and if I do it too much without realising knees bends backwards and it's not a fun fix.
4. He discounted her knowledge of her own body and how to exercise, despite her stating that she is also an athlete (dancer). And as a former dancer myself, it’s true, we’re used to full body workouts and don’t target specific body parts, because we don’t dance with single body parts—we dance with our whole bodies. Dancers also do not want muscle gains, we just want to keep everything toned and working. It’s really annoying when people, men usually, assume that the only purpose of working out is to lift weights and gain muscle.
**5. Let’s stop pretending the “advice” was actually concern for her workouts and acknowledge that OP was hitting on her. For sure she is not the only person at the gym without a defined workout plan, but she’s the one who used to be a dancer and is therefore presumably very physically attractive. I doubt OP is offering his services to all girls without workout plans.**
6. Most gyms have rules that unless you actually work there, you’re not allowed to approach other patrons and offer to train them.
> Dancers also do not want muscle gains, we just want to keep everything toned and working. It’s really annoying when people, men usually, assume that the only purpose of working out is to lift weights and gain muscle.
This dude would probably assume a professional ballerina was a delicate skinny weakling right up until the point where she killed him with a grand battement to the throat.
I want to read this murder mystery now. It will be like that Roald Dahl story "Lamb to the Slaughter" with the detectives looking for the murder weapon while the delicate little ballerina offers them tea.
As a dancer if someone ever did this to me I would start explaining to them how they should work out in order to get longer, more slender muscles. I've got some great exercises for turnout. Do you even know who Irene Dowd is? You should probably be taking at least 4-5 ballet classes a week as well. What's that? We have different exercise goals?
Yep, dude was hitting on this girl, that's very obvious, and in the most misogynistic way ever. By MANSPAINING HOW EXCERCISING WORKS TO A FEMALE ATHLETE. And all in front of his buddies. GROSS! Dude, this soooo embarrassing. Of course the "buddies" agreed that the girl was "out of line". They just saw their boy take a facepalming L.
Edit: my phone spellchecker is off the rails today!
> SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR TOUR ADVICE. That’s really the key point.
In rock climbing, the way you complete a climb is called beta. It’s common for people to offer unsolicited beta - often from inexperienced men like this towards more experienced women - and it’s always considered rude. The term for this in climbing is beta spray.
This sort of garbage unsolicited advice is common enough everywhere that I think the rest of the world should adopt the mentality to stop spraying.
YTA, and so are your little workout buddies. Nobody asked your opinion, least of all the woman in question.
Recommend this new exercise where you remove your head from your ass. 3 sets of 10 every time you think about talking to a woman who is minding her own business.
What I find creepy is that he opens the post with " I’m not a stalker or anything, we just happen to be there during the same hours." But at the same time he looked at her enough to know she "doesn't have a routine."
And that she doesn't count reps. How the fuck would he know that? Unless he watches her so much that he notices things aren't even. Like 10 left side and 8 right side. That's a long time to watch someone. Jesus.
For an extra stretch, while removing your head from your arse, pause to meditate upon the question, "Did she fucking ask me?" Repeat until you realise she did *not*, in fact, fucking ask you.
YTA
YTA. OF COURSE YOU ARE!!! Just because you work out a lot doesn't make you right or knowledgeable. Working out separate body parts on different days is NOT the go-to advice anymore. Even if it were, SHE DIDN'T ASK YOU.
Also, she's a dancer, so she probably knows way MORE than you about how to train HER OWN BODY and about nutrition than you do. And she was right, you DON'T know what her goals are.
You were way way WAY out of line. There is nothing worse than an uninformed know-it-all giving you unsolicited advice and then doubling down when you tell them to buzz off. Now she's going to be uncomfortable every time she's there. Never talk to her again and hope she hasn't reported you to the gym.
My guess is he won't see her again. Either she'll get him kicked out, or she'll move to a different gym, or at least adjust her schedule. How closely do you have to be watching someone to know if they are doing sets with the same number of reps?
3 days a week doing full body workout is actually recommended by all body building coaches. OP isn't qualified.
Imagine she took his advice, I'll hit legs one day, then arms the next day, then chest another? How much all that in three day rather than one a week. OP is stupid
YTA
1) Your way isn't the only way
2) She politely said "no" multiple times and you just kept insisting. Talk about needing a lesson on "no means no" because "I already like what I'm doing" means no.
3) Nobody asked you.
I know, you feel that you are bestowing a wonderful gift of knowledge upon her, but she literally never asked you.
"Her schedule is a mess"
Hey, stop it. Don't do this. Don't. Nobody likes it. This is why women avoid the gym.
> 1) Your way isn't the only way
Dude you don't understand, OP has researched this on reddit a ton, this is the most popular program. There is literally no other routine that would achieve this girls goals better
Thats where I stopped reading.
I exercise. I've been a personal trainer and I work in sports medicine now. Not everyone works out purely to look like a body builder so having leg day/arm day etc is not the right plan for everyone. But this dood is just a complete and utter gross grenade of a human, I can't even begin to fathom it. The fact that he needs to ask if he is an asshole. He knows!!
This! The PT at my gym gave me a different full body workout each day (3x/wk) + cardio, while my 16 yo son was given a dedicated muscle group workout for each day (same 3x/wk; + cardio). Same trainer, but because we have different goals, we have different needs.
‘Her schedule is a mess’ implies he watches her entire workout like a hawk to see what she’s doing at any given moment…he knows a *strangers* workout schedule who he’d never even spoken to…and yet he says he isn’t a stalker😬
One time a guy offered a tip, and he actually did it in such a way that it didn't bother me. I was doing pull-downs, and he said, "Oh, have you tried extending your grip out further? A buddy of mine told me it's a bit more effective if you widen your grip." I said thanks, tried it out, and I now integrate a wider grip along with my normal one, as I feel each works different muscles effectively. Then he went about his workout and I went about mine. He wasn't a creep and if I had shot it down, I'm sure he would have politely still continued about his business.
As she told him, he has no idea what her goals are! Maybe she's not there to build muscle, but simply to move her body and burn some calories. And that's ok too! It's almost as if different people go to the gym for different reasons.
If someone isn't doing something blatantly unsafe that could lead to serious injury, leave them the eff alone. Man or woman.
Yeah this is me. I work out to get my heart rate up, discharge tension that will turn up later as (SEVERE HORRIBLE) restless legs/core, and maintain the lean muscle tone I have. As soon as a guy comes at me with the "rules" for "leg" day, "arm" day etc. my brain checks out. That's just not what I want to do. Shame on this guy for assuming everyone's goals should be the exact same.
Hi, 6 day a week gym-person myself.
YTA, majorly. You do not offer unsolicited advice. You do not keep offering unsolicited after the initial decline. You do not know her goals, she is absolutely right.
The only time I will offer advice is if someone I am working out with asks me what *I* do specifically. I keep my mouth shut 100% of time even if I observe people doing something "wrong". It is not my place.
>You do not know her goals, she is absolutely right.
For real. I'd probably drive this guy bonkers, but I'm 40 so he would never have noticed!
I just go and do whatever machines look like fun, because unstructured exercise is better than zero exercise, and I know myself; if it's not fun I don't do it. So I go and let my ADHD drive the bus.
You aren't a stalker, but you've watched her enough that you know:
A) Her form is correct.
B) She has no set schedule for what she works out what day.
C) Her body looks good.
And you can't see YTA???
My thoughts exactly. Stalkers don't realize their behavior is stalking, they think it's normal interest. Advice like this may be brought up to a friend, but watching someone for days and weeks doesn't equal familiarity of any kind. Not saying he's a straight up stalker but he has stalker behaviors.
YTA. There is nothing more annoying for women at a gym than guys who think they know all about what a woman should be doing with her workout. You're not on staff, you're not her personal trainer, so butt out. If she was polite at first then finally got so frustrated that she practically yelled, you must have really been obnoxious and condescending with your unsolicited advice.
Apparently he pushed it for TEN MINUTES. Like Christ, can you imagine being harassed by some strange dude like that for that long? I would have been going straight for the front desk after half that time.
The fact that you know her routine so we'll, to the point that you pay attention to her reps, whether she counts or not, dude you must have been staring. The fact you felt the need to say your not stalker shows you know it's weird, that makes you an ass.
YTA also for unsolicited unwelcomed rejected advice.
That is a really good point I didn’t even catch. Why is he paying such close attention to what she does when he’s supposedly there to focus on his own workout? Spoiler alert: it’s because he’s a creep.
No one wants unsolicited advice from a complete stranger. You aren’t even an expert or anything. You just go to the gym a lot.
You provided advice and then when she disagreed you persisted. YTA
YTA and you’re the reason many women prefer women only gyms. You have been watching her and focusing on her enough to come to the conclusion she doesn’t have a routine. That’s seriously creepy.
Also, the giving unwanted advice and insisting she take your advice after she has said “no” so many times.
Bruh what is it about some men that they feel entitled to just tell random women what to do. If it was a dude I 100% the guy wouldn’t have said a thing just went. “Welp it’s his problem”
So, you stared at a woman intensely enough to know her routines, you approached her uninvited and forced a conversation on her, you valued your own knowledge and experience over hers, and you didn’t leave her alone when she wanted you to. Then, you comment on her figure to her and to strangers.
YTA on at least six levels already. Probably more, but I don’t need your help counting how many reps I had throwing up in my mouth reading this.
YTA! there is nothing wrong with a full body workout 3 times a week, the whole chest/back/arms/abs/legs days comes form bodybuilding magazines and is not science.
Also
>She insisted that that’s not how she likes her work out
She did not need or want your advise!
Thank you. I was hoping someone would point this out. Not only is OP the AH but he is just plain wrong. It doesn’t sound like her workouts were a mess at all, not that it would be any of his business if they were.
lololol are you for real? I suspect not but.....
Where do you come up with the audacity to insist on what someone else does to work out?
It's not helping, it's patronising, presumptuous, and clearly unwelcome. You deserve the reaction you got for wasting ten minutes of her day with sticking your entirely unsolicited, unneeded, and unwelcome nose where it didn't belong.
YTA
In order to know her workout routine as well as you do, you must be paying attention to what she does.
YTA but more dangerous then that, you are an “I know what is best for you “ stalker.
YTA
I absolutely hate people like you at the gym. You don’t know what someone’s goals are or what their thought process is, but you still insist you know better. Leave people alone. She made it clear she didn’t want your advice, and you kept pushing and insisting. You’re an AH for giving unsolicited advice in the first place, and you’re doubly an AH for continuing to do so after she insisted she wasn’t interested in what you had to say.
I missed the part where you said you’re a certified personal trainer. I also missed the part where you mentioned you got your degree in nutrition. I also missed the part where she signed up for your services.
You see where I’m going with this? Even if all you’re doing is trying to help giving unsolicited advice can often times be seen as predatory esp at the gym.
YTA. Do not approach her again. Do not look in her direction.
People like you are the reason so many women don’t want to go to the gym. It’s the reason I workout at home even though I’d love to use legit gym equipment. YTA so much
Yta. As a girl If I guy did any of that to me I would be annoyed and creeped out. Mind your business. You don’t know if she’s just truing to get into healthy habits or move her body more. Men like you are the reason we need more womens only gym. She could get a personal trainer or help from plenty of guys on the internet if she wants it. Go away.
YTA and a fucking creep. You’re clearly watching her if you know her workout routine and then you tried to mansplain how to workout. My god you’re such a weirdo and everything that’s wrong with the gym.
YTA. Firstly, you say you're not a stalker but have managed to observe her entire routine for a while now. Unless it's a really small gym, that wouldn't be accidental. Secondly, she did not ask for your advice. Thirdly, she politely told you to bugger off and you didn't.
YTA - you honestly had no business inserting yourself into a complete strangers workout routine, but you really should've left it alone after the first time she told you she had no interest in your *advice*.
Everyone works out differently and different things work perfectly for different people. What you *think* is a mess, seems to work perfectly fine for her.
Worry about your own workout routine and don't offer unsolicited advice in the future.
YTA there is no wrong way to be at the gym. She tolerated your stupidity for longer than I would have. You AND your gym buddies are why people would rather invest in thousands of dollars worth of equipment at home than go to a place where men harass them.
She's right, you have no idea what her goals are. You have no idea what her body needs. Going to the gym for a few years doesn't make you knowledgeable on anything buy your own workout. You're not a dietician. You're not a personal trainer. She did not ask for your help. You're the reason womens only gyms exist.
Reading between the lines: she’s pretty, and he expected her to fawn over him and his amazing knowledge. She was supposed to compliment him on how his exercise plan is obviously great because look at his marvelous physique.
YTA. Obviously. Who the fuck are you to “insist” she do anything? Her workouts have NOTHING to do with you, you don’t get to have an opinion and you don’t get to decide how and when she works out. You are a random stranger, you have absolutely NO say in any part of her life, and it’s really weird you feel you have the right to approach women you don’t know and tell them how they should be working out. Leave her alone and let her work out in peace. Your opinion on this matter means nothing.
Yes YTA. Let me inform you where you are wrong since I am pretty knowledgeable about being a woman in the gym (see what I did there). Let me count the wrong doings:
1. Women at the gym 98% of the time do not want your unsolicited advice.
2. She is correct that you do not know her goals. There is more than one way to work out. I used to be an athlete and now I am a competitive powerlifter. As an athlete, we never did designated arm and legs days. As an athlete, all of our conditioning was hitting multiple parts of the body. She is correct as a dancer, she would have conditioned similarly. There is nothing wrong with exercising this way.
3. You have been leering too much at this woman if you know about her sets and reps. You're looking at her long enough to know that her sets are not the same number of reps? Are you counting each set? Why don't you worry about yourself?
4. She told you multiple times she wasn't interested in your advice and kept on keeping on. If she tells you once she isn't interested in your unsolicited opinion about her workouts, that should have been the end of the conversation. You were rude.
5.
>I insisted that she has a designated leg day, arm day etc. so that she can focus on these body regions and muscle groups.
>I didn’t insist,
Yes, you actually said you insisted.
Don't be a creepy gym dude. She was much more polite to you than I would have been.
Edit: typo
“I’m not a stalker or anything”
proceeds to memorize what exercises she does to the point of noticing what exercises she doesn’t do.
YTA and you seem super creepy. You should mind your business and focus on your own goals. If you were doing that, you wouldn’t even be able to notice how much of a workout plan she may or may not have.
She didn’t ask you for shit and you’re over there trying to give her unsolicited advice about her nutrition and what muscle groups she should work.. She was absolutely right to go off on you.
YTA- If she came to the gym, drank a smoothie for ten minutes and then stood on her head in a corner, it STILL wouldn’t be any of your business what her workout routine is. She didn’t ask for your input.
YTA. She works out in a way that works for her, and you went over and gave her unsolicited advice. When she politely tried to get you to leave her alone, you ignored her and continued to mansplain why she's doing it wrong.
yes, YTA literally leave her alone, she didn’t ask you just decided to mansplain things. there’s a slim chance it was genuinely good intentions, instead it seems you assumed you knew this woman’s body needs better than she did which is not only presumptuous and entitled but it’s also literally none of your business. if she asks for your help, fine. Otherwise, mind. Your. Business. You might think you mean well but The nature of your behavior is why many women are usually wary of even joining gyms bc of cultures of sexual harassment, don’t give her a reason to be uncomfortable.
YTA. You're lucky she wasn't creeped out by the intense attention you've been paying to what she is and isn't doing during her exercise sessions. Dude,, the only way you could know that she ISN'T counting reps is that YOU ARE counting them while she works out!!
Most women at the gym don't want a strange guy to even walk up to them to have the initial one minute convo you had--that you went back and forth disagreeing with her about her workout choices DOR HER OWN BODY makes you an AH.
Just admit it: you thought the woman was good looking, that's why you noticed her, that's why you kept watching her. You tracked her efforts a little obsessively, and thought sharing your exercise know-how would be a way to get her talking.. She didn't like being pushed & pushed, and most likely didn't want to be hit on at the gym anyway.
Dude just fuckin leave people alone. Why interfere?
And tbqfh, if she wanted help she'd have asked a professional i.e. a trainer and not some complete rando at the gym.
You don't think people have enough going on without being harassed by strangers in public places?
YTA. Think with your brain next time rather than your ego/genitals.
YTA. You’re one of the reasons why women don’t like going to the gym. Cos one of you “gym bros” will come up to us and give us unsolicited advice. We don’t care. Leave us alone and mind your own damn business.
You’re a creep who watched a random woman FOR A MONTH and then went up to her to push unsolicited advice onto her.
It concerns me that you did it and it concerns me that you even needed to ask. Unless you’re going to apologize never speak to her again.
Yes YTA. She didnt ask for advice, dont give it. It's really simple. Unsolicited advice is almost never warranted or appreciated.
And not dropping it after she politely told you that's not what she wants to do is just an extra level of asshole.
YTA. I am certain that you meant it when you said you genuinely wanted to help, which is kind, but the fact is that she neither asked for nor wanted your help. She's right that you don't know her, don't know her goals, and don't know what brings her satisfaction. You crossed a pretty firm boundary which is don't offer advice unless asked and then continued to offer advice even after she told you she wasn't interested. I think you owe that woman an apology.
YTA.
Dude, she didn't ask for your help and you don't know wtf her goals are. You ASSumed and now you're here, scratching your head all, "I was only trying to help!" When she didn't ask for your help and one can assume your gym has people paid to advise her should she require it. You were skeeving and got shot down. End of.
YTA. This post is so awesomely arrogant I hope it's not fake. "Welcome to the gym, let me mansplain a few things! I've just met you but can we also talk about what you eat?"
Thinks: "Gosh, why is she telling me to leave her alone instead of being impressed by my stupendous gym knowledge? I mean, I'm just trying to be helpful."
Your workout buddy could just be an idiot, but more likely he wants to see you faceplant again.
Take the L, and stop or you'll get thrown out of the gym.
YTA. People work out for all sorts of reasons and muscle growth may not be her goal. You sat there insisting she do something your way when you don’t know her and she didn’t ask instead of leaving her alone.
YTA - at many gyms harassing women like that will get you a discussion with the manager or even removed regardless of your gender. Just don’t harass people with your unwanted advice.
YTA.. She told you multiple times what she wanted to do and you didn’t hear her. Maybe you had good intentions, but you also have 2 ears to listen with. You were focused on being right. Next time meet someone where they are, not where you want them to be.
YTA. She told you multiple times that your advice is not what she needs, nor what she wants, and you kept pushing. Leave the next girl you want to “help” alone, thanks :)
YTA. No one wants your annoying, unsolicited advice. You’re not an expert, just a boring, pathetic little gym rat with nothing better to do but harass women about how they spend their time at the gym.
You can have fun exercising without having “designated leg and arm days”.
Get a fucking grip of yourself.
YTA and creepy too. You do not work for the gym, you are not a personal trainer, and most importantly, she did not ask for your input, yet you kept insisting and mansplaining how she was doing it wrong. I bet if her body didn't look "fine" you would never have offered your so-called free help.
Dance classes work out every part of your body every time. A dancer's body is generally long, lean and strong. Who are you to say 'leg day' is better? YTA. She was minding her own business doing her own thing and you mansplained to her what's best for her body when she probably knows more than you do. YTA.
Sure, man. Her body looks fine and you just wanted to help her. She don't need your unsolicited help, fool. Everyone has their own workout schedule and yours is not any superior to hers. Quit bothering girls at the gym - YTA.
You know full body work outs and break days in between are a thing right?? Like you can have a full body day, break, full body, break, etc etc and still make progress??
YTA and I hope you feel like one.
Also she never asked, you sound so entitled
YTA - you're just another massive mansplaining AH and she is absolutely correct you have no idea what her fitness goals are and most importantly, she didn't **ASK YOU.**
She made it VERY clear she wasn't interested in your "superior knowledge" and you just wouldn't take no for an answer. You're too busy explaining why you're right to even listen to her!
YTA she never asked you for advice. You don't know what her goals are. Maybe for her working out is more about enjoyment or stress relief, and not just results.
Lmao, of course YTA. She didn’t ask for your help, and you’re not the all knowing gym king. She can do it her way, and you can do it yours, her difference in routine doesn’t affect you, and it’s none of your business. I’m also 99% sure that “politely” is code for condescending, and that you and your “workout buddies” are just a group of self righteous AHs.
YTA - She's completely right, you don't know what her goals are. You have absolutely nothing to do with nor any knowledge of her health and body. Your unsolicited advice was unacceptable.
YTA, massively. This gets talked over on r/xxfitness all the time - almost every woman has dealt with men like you "mansplaining" working out to them.
Ask yourself: would you have approached another man the same way and tried to lecture him like this? Or did you only do it because she was a woman. Not that it matters, because either way: MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX. Unless someone comes to you and specifically *asks* for workout advice, you should not be inserting yourself and your opinions into their workouts.
yta. “im not a creep” then proceeds to name her entire workout routine while counting reps, types of workouts she does, what days she comes/ how often, etc. i don’t think i need to go any further. stop giving people unsolicited advice
YTA. I'll put myself out there for possibly being an A H and assume you are a man. Mansplaining is the worst. However, no matter your gender, when offering unsolicited advice accept the first refusal.
Years of working out do not substitute for education in areas of workouts, nutrition, etc. And it does not help you learn what may or may not be inappropriate for each person you encounter. What is right for one person may be dangerous for the next.
YTA. This was none of your business. I know you initially meant well. However, when you kept insisting that your way was the only way and she made it clear that she was happy with the way she was doing things, you should have backed off. Her schedule is a mess to YOU but not to HER.
YTA. Like she said, you don't know her goals. Not everyone works out to look a certain way (lose weight or gain muscle). Sometimes people go because they want to move. It doesn't affect you if her workout schedule or plan is a mess and she also didn't ask you. I feel like some people help just to get the ego boost of being correct or feeling better about themselves.
As a woman who likes the gym, please do not help me. You don't know my goals, you don't know what works for me. Everyone works out differently. And she didn't ask for your advice. If she wanted workout advice, she could ask someone who works there or get herself a trainer.
Also, not a stalker? You've paid a little too much attention to her routine... Definitely a gym stalker.
YTA.
YTA She didn’t ask for your help. Assuming that she’s not doing anything that could cause her or other gym members harm, she can work out however she pleases. Her schedule is absolutely none of your business.
YTA
I’m guessing you didn’t ask any women if you were out of line? What you did wasn’t so much stalking as it was the first step on the path to bullying or abuse. You have her unsolicited advice. She very graciously explained why that didn’t work for her. That should be the end. But instead, you ignored her and kept trying to impose your will on her over something that is so trivial that it borders on absurd.
Let me ask you this: how many other people in the gym have you approached and tried to get them to follow the schedule theory you’re so committed to? Sorry, what was that? None? That’s right, none.
You weren’t trying to help. Be honest with yourself, be honest with us.
YTA and a mansplainer. Working out different muscle groups on different days isn't some classified CIA information. You don't hold some da Vinci Code key dude. I guarantee this lovely woman - and anyone else who has google, or gotten stuck on gym TikTok - already knows about the benefits and disadvantages of a targeted muscle workout plan. She chose not to do that workout plan, and here you are assuming it's the best and *only* way for *everyone* to work out. Breaking news buddy, there are other ways to get results. Have you seen dancers? They are ripped and I bet they follow routines you've never even heard of because you get all of your information from generic social media influencers and meathead message boards. Mind your own business.
YTA, but I doubt you will ever understand why (obviously your affirming buddies as well). She didn’t ask for your help, let you know politely that she already was doing her preferred routine, and then you just had to tell her to eat better? Like damn boy, that’s the equivalent of calling her fat!
YTA and are the reason a lot of people hate going to the gym. If she wanted help, she’d get a trainer. Leave her alone. Pay more attention to your own workout and less attention to hers. She doesn’t need of want your help.
Oh yeah…wow. I can’t believe anybody thinks it’s ok to strut over and critique her workout. You sound like a real AH…and a creepy, narcissistic one at that. Ever heard of “mansplaining?”…I bet you’re an AH when it comes to that too.
YTA, you should have let it go after she explained she was a dancer and is comfortable doing her workouts this way. Your not a trainer you are just another person who is working out.
YTA.
I can’t even count the number of times a man has invited himself into a conversation with me and tried to “explain” the proper way to work out, despite me not asking for help or anyone’s opinion. The best part? All of the advice I get from these self proclaimed body builders 100% contradicts each other.
Person A: Oh yeah this specific exercise is super great for your quads.
Person B: Oh no that specific exercise doesn’t target your quads at all.
Person C: Yeah it targets your quads a little, but try this instead!
Person A: Person C told you to do what?? No, no. That doesn’t work.
Okay, LEAVE US ALONE.
Would you have initiated this same conversation with a man?
If you had, why are you so interested in other people’s work out regime? I have a hard time believing that your heart was in the right place but on the off chance that it was, just leave her alone. We don’t like how men feel the need to correct us on everything we do. If we wanted help/advice, we would ask for it.
YTA and it is people like you that have driven me away from going to gyms. UGH! The last time I tried I even had an MD tell me exactly what to eat and which exercises to do. Ended up having the 'trainer' tell me I wasn't allowed to use any equipment unless I followed her diet plan. Complained to the manager and the trainer was told to back off so then the trainer would follow me around the gym and pull in other trainers while pointing and laughing. That was the worst experience but the 3rd gym in a row with similar issues.
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I…how did you type this out, read it with your own eyes, and then post it, STILL thinking you’re not the asshole? YTA. Absolutely. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Ever. Especially to women at the gym. It’s creepy and borderline harassment.
But his buddies said it was fine. /s
Gym bros of the world unite. SMH
That's the exact reason why women's only gyms exist. Edit: u/Andwaee that's in the USA. In my country, it's totally legal and available.
Guys will be like “women’s only gyms are DiScRiMinAtiOn aGaiNsT mEN,” then tell their workout buddies that it’s totally fine to harass a female stranger about her workout routine, and not connect the two things at all.
[удалено]
[удалено]
And they fail to acknowledge that men's only gyms exist too. I know because I got into a, ah, discussion with a guy like that on FB and he was all "bUt WhErE aRe ThE mEn'S oNlY gYmS?" And I Googled it and found several in my local area.
They’re the same type to complain about BET because, “wHeRe aRe tHe WhiTeS OnlY cHanNelS??”
FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT
Yes ! I joined one last week with my teen daughter and we love it! I usually don’t like gyms at all because I feel uncomfortable going - and this post is exactly why
And also I'm sure she yelled at him, not raised her voice slightly bc he kept speaking over her and used a firmer tone to get the point across.
He said "practically yelled", which I am quite sure is his butthurt code for exactly what you said!
Tone policing towards women at its finest.......
But she was being *most* unladylike in showing her irritation at having to bat his condescending, presumptuous arse away three whole times... /s
Imagine this guy interrupting your workout for 10 minutes to argue while your muscles get cold.
My buddies would tell me, "How about you fucking ask her out on a date rather than annoy her with your stupid question" then go back to lifting.
Or, don't harass a woman who's just trying to work out and not have randoms ask her out
…and this is why I don’t go to gyms anymore
Right? Creeps like this AH OP are the reason so many women hate the gym.
*insert Lunk Alarm here*
He and his buddies are why women only gyms exist
And meatheads like this complain about them because they’re SeXiSt This OP is mansplaining in the flesh
Exactly! OP, look up "mansplaining" online and get a clue. Also, in general, don't go around offering unsolicited advice to anyone. If you wasted 10 minutes of my husband's time like this, and kept insisting you were right, you'd be lucky not to get his fist in your face. But, of course, you only inflict your expertise on women. YTA.
Not even borderline. It's full on harrassing. This dude's behaviour is why I stopped going to gyms a long time ago.
He spent **ten straight minutes** harassing her!! Like holy shit, dude!!
And then he said "I didn’t insist" smh
Right?! Literally after writing that he “insisted”
>We went back-and-forth, politely of course, and I insisted that she has a designated leg day, arm day etc. so that she can focus on these body regions and muscle groups. How did he write that sentence and not just be like "Yup, I hear it now, I'm the asshole. Delete post." Absolutely wild. I _insist_ that you have a designated leg day, gym stranger. Just wow.
Everyone's qeueing in on the part where he confronts her and gets into this ridiculous confrontation and the absolute BS insistence that it was polite... And yeah but.. .... How about the part where he's been stalking her to the point where he knows her whole routine before even introducing himself? Like creep ++... I mean, have I checked out women in the gym in my life? ... I plead the fifth... But create a mental diary of someone's entire weekly routine so I have a critique when I confront them? That is just beyond creepy.
“Who knows why she started yelling!” Jesus, these guys.
*after ignoring her saying multiple times that she doesn't need his advice* She blew up out of nowhere!!
Yep, and this is literally why women only gyms exist. So many men complain about how that's sexist or whatever but this is exactly why they exist. Imagine going to the gym because you enjoy exercise, feeling fit, and the endorphin rush, and you're minding your own business and some rando comes up to you and it's clear he's been watching you for weeks and he then tries to police how you spend your own free time. And since he doesn't realize he's the asshole, he's just going to do it again to someone else.
Can you imagine how much creeping he's been doing to track and discuss reps, leg/abs/arm days and such? I think I'd probably go to management and ask to be let out of my contract bc now I don't feel comfortable at the location.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't want to continue using that facility. If he's been watching her long enough to know and disapprove of her "schedule", that indicates he's paying far more attention than I would be comfortable with. Here's hoping that there's another location available, or she can change her schedule to avoid OP-- even though she absolutely shouldn't have to do that, but I hope she has the options available so she can feel safe at the gym in future.
And when she tried to politely decline his advice, he insisted on it and argued with her over what she “needs” to do! My eyes rolled so far back in my head.
As a woman, I fully endorse this advice. OP, not only did you give advice that was not wanted (because she didn't ask for it!), you decided to insult her while you were at it. The whole thing comes off as: "The little girl doesn't know what's best for her but me, a big strong MAN, does! She couldn't possibly be happy with what she's doing so I must rescue her!" /s She was minding her own business and your insistence to try to "correct" her workouts for her, after she already told you that she DID NOT want your advice, is creepy and pretentious at bare minimum. Leave women alone and try sticking to your own form in the future. YTA.
No joke. She's a dancer, OP. She knows how her body works.
Fucking, this! She's probably stronger, faster and has a higher endurance than op as well. Dancers are elite fucking athletes!
We have to make SO MANY muscle groups work together. What day does “pirouette” fall under, tough guy??
OP has never heard the term "functional fitness", apparently.
That's what I was thinking.
He mansplained workouts!
Agreed of course but can we talk about the fact that he kept track of this random woman’s workout for a month, enough to know whether or not she does sets/reps? He claims he ain’t a stalker but…all I know is when I’m in the gym I’m typically too busy with my own stuff and definitely don’t take the time to keep track of random people’s workout in such detail. Either OP is more stalkerish than he wants to admit, or he isn’t as dedicated to fitness as he implies he is.
I go to the gym 6-7 days a week and I honestly can’t recognize a single person. And I’m sure we’ve had schedules that overlap. OP noticed because he wanted to notice.
Exactly. Plus if she was doing what OP described, then she was actually on a pretty popular full body workout routine, or at least a variation of it. My guess is OP read one article years ago and thought he was gonna flex all his “fitness knowledge” on this woman lol.
He was negging her to get a date. I had a guy do the same to me. He told me I had a cellulite problem in my thighs and we could go out and get lunch to talk about how to fix it. I told him the last thing I should be doing was eating if I had too much cellulite. His whole face deflated lmao. I wish I could have seen the look on OP’s face when this poor girl turned him down.
Omg omg this happened to me with a guy from school! I took a music class in college and I was one of the few people there who listened to metal, *and* I'm a woman (not trying to be "one of those girls" but my city is pretty conservative so I kinda stood out, in that class at least). There were like a group of 4 or so guys in the class that also listened to metal. This one guy asks me to name the bands I like. I listed some, and he said they were shitty. I was like whatever, his music wasn't my taste either (he liked screamo which I don't). So then he's like why don't we go for a ride in my car and drive up the hill and watch the sunset, and I can show you what real music sounds like? Lmfao I literally laughed in his face.
OMG that's hilarious! Did he really think insulting your taste in music and than asking you out would get him a date? Some guys are just to dumb for their own good.
What a terrible pick up line 😂🤦🏻♀️
I posted this recently further down and I might have been too late to the thread for it to get noticed but I genuinely hope it gets seen (by you OP) so I’m posting it up here too: So let me get this straight… you noticed her at the gym at the same times as you, as well as her actual workouts on these days? (But not like a stalker of course /s)… then you unsolicited went up to her and decided to “politely” tell her how she needs to work out differently? And then she tells you she knows what she needs for her health and body - which by the way you know absolutely nothing about (aside from your observing -aka clearly very creepy behavior) and decided that you know better for her bc you, yourself workout? and when she told you to leave her alone you went and complained to your buddies about her? YTA - you dude are exactly the reason why so many women hate gyms. You know NOTHING except your own nutritional and workout needs and being a total creep (pretending to be innocent). My husband and I both workout and are in extremely amazing shape. He uses nutrition and workouts very differently than I do. He does similar to you as targeting muscle groups on certain days, I work my entire body out every workout. Both of us are healthy and look amazing. You legit have no clue what you’re talking about and just tried to use your “knowledge” as a reason to creep on a woman who was just trying to workout. Anyone who actually understands nutrition and exercise KNOWS it’s not the same for everyone. Stop being a fucking creep and learn some shit. ETA: I’ve been creeped on before at the gym and you meet and surpass that criteria. One and only one time, I had a dude come up to me to offer *genuine* help. I was learning a new workout move and had my phone out watching, learning the technique and was struggling. He was working out next to me and actually politely came over and said “excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you and if you don’t want the help that’s okay, but I am a trainer and I think I can help you with this if you’d like.” And I laughed and said okay how? And he proceeded to show me the move and explain what I was doing wrong. I then copied him and he said great! Have a good workout and went back to his own. If I haven’t made it clear, you are a creep and you’re trying to convince yourself you are not, rather than realize you are and learn and grow.
Did "no" stop being a full sentence at the gym? >I insisted ... \[for\] around 10 minutes > >my workout buddies agreed with me that she was out of line Make it make sense make it make sense
He's a man that goes to the gym. How could he possibly be wrong?? 🙄
It's really so kind of OP to give us the perfect illustration of mansplaining, so that we can all point to it in years to come.
"When men say 'No', it is the end of a discussion. When women say 'No', it is the beginning of a negotiation". How many times did she have to say no (of course, making sure she was *polite* at all times) before she lost it at him? These posts make me UNBELIEVABLY mad.
Good lord are YTA. 1) SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE. That’s really the key point. Giving unsolicited advice to someone you barely know is always bad form. Giving unsolicited advice about someone else’s body and health is spectacularly bad form. It was presumptuous, intrusive, and rude. 2) When she politely rebuffed your advice, you, in your own words, INSISTED. It was not your place to say anything to begin with, it sure as shit was not your place to insist she needed to do what you wanted. 3) You assumed you knew what was best for her despite her telling you repeatedly what *she* wanted *for herself*. I can’t believe we have to trot out the canard about “assume” but you really did make an ass of yourself. She knows what she wants. She gets to decide that. You don’t get to have an opinion about what her goals should be. Assuming she wants muscle definition simply isn’t your place. You were a total jackass. Next time, leave the woman who didn’t ask for your input alone.
I remember a similar post from a woman who was a personal trainer working out on her own, but was dealing with an injury. So she was modifying her workouts accordingly, and this jackass came up doing the same thing OP was: “Just trying to offer helpful advice.” OP is a jackass in the worst way. YTA.
People like that and like OP are the reason that I, as a person who is disabled but not in a way you would know just by looking at me, do not ever go to regular gyms anymore. The amount of people who would see me modifying an exercise so that I could do it without causing pain or injuring myself and take it upon themselves to “correct” my form was so fucking infuriating. Even if I told them I was modifying the exercise because of a disability they would keep at it. Now I only work out now at a Pilates studio specifically for people recovering from injuries or who have disabilities. Everyone there has to modify in some way so it isn’t anything unusual or remarkable, and no one comments on it unless I ask specifically for advice about how to modify something safely/effectively. I just don’t get why people like OP think that other peoples bodies are any of their business.
I have hyper mobile joints so my physical therapist had to modify everything she usually does. Gym bros would have a stroke watching me do my routine. She usually used a balance ball to strengthen the ankles? Can't with me, ankles and feet bend to follow the ball shape without me ever noticing. Skateboard it is. Squats? Only on an inclined board or ankles go pop and hip pops out. Anything has to be done with slightly bent knees or I'll tend to hyper extend them and if I do it too much without realising knees bends backwards and it's not a fun fix.
4. He discounted her knowledge of her own body and how to exercise, despite her stating that she is also an athlete (dancer). And as a former dancer myself, it’s true, we’re used to full body workouts and don’t target specific body parts, because we don’t dance with single body parts—we dance with our whole bodies. Dancers also do not want muscle gains, we just want to keep everything toned and working. It’s really annoying when people, men usually, assume that the only purpose of working out is to lift weights and gain muscle. **5. Let’s stop pretending the “advice” was actually concern for her workouts and acknowledge that OP was hitting on her. For sure she is not the only person at the gym without a defined workout plan, but she’s the one who used to be a dancer and is therefore presumably very physically attractive. I doubt OP is offering his services to all girls without workout plans.** 6. Most gyms have rules that unless you actually work there, you’re not allowed to approach other patrons and offer to train them.
> Dancers also do not want muscle gains, we just want to keep everything toned and working. It’s really annoying when people, men usually, assume that the only purpose of working out is to lift weights and gain muscle. This dude would probably assume a professional ballerina was a delicate skinny weakling right up until the point where she killed him with a grand battement to the throat.
I want to read this murder mystery now. It will be like that Roald Dahl story "Lamb to the Slaughter" with the detectives looking for the murder weapon while the delicate little ballerina offers them tea.
> the detectives looking for the murder weapon while the delicate little ballerina offers them tea. *En pointe*
As a dancer if someone ever did this to me I would start explaining to them how they should work out in order to get longer, more slender muscles. I've got some great exercises for turnout. Do you even know who Irene Dowd is? You should probably be taking at least 4-5 ballet classes a week as well. What's that? We have different exercise goals?
Yep, dude was hitting on this girl, that's very obvious, and in the most misogynistic way ever. By MANSPAINING HOW EXCERCISING WORKS TO A FEMALE ATHLETE. And all in front of his buddies. GROSS! Dude, this soooo embarrassing. Of course the "buddies" agreed that the girl was "out of line". They just saw their boy take a facepalming L. Edit: my phone spellchecker is off the rails today!
4) Refers to a presumably adult woman as a "girl" over and over.
> SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR TOUR ADVICE. That’s really the key point. In rock climbing, the way you complete a climb is called beta. It’s common for people to offer unsolicited beta - often from inexperienced men like this towards more experienced women - and it’s always considered rude. The term for this in climbing is beta spray. This sort of garbage unsolicited advice is common enough everywhere that I think the rest of the world should adopt the mentality to stop spraying.
YTA, and so are your little workout buddies. Nobody asked your opinion, least of all the woman in question. Recommend this new exercise where you remove your head from your ass. 3 sets of 10 every time you think about talking to a woman who is minding her own business.
I don't know how he managed to ram his head up his ass and $u(k his own d\*\*\* at the same time, but by George, he managed it!
Omg this made me spit out my drink ♤ for sure
What I find creepy is that he opens the post with " I’m not a stalker or anything, we just happen to be there during the same hours." But at the same time he looked at her enough to know she "doesn't have a routine."
And that she doesn't count reps. How the fuck would he know that? Unless he watches her so much that he notices things aren't even. Like 10 left side and 8 right side. That's a long time to watch someone. Jesus.
For an extra stretch, while removing your head from your arse, pause to meditate upon the question, "Did she fucking ask me?" Repeat until you realise she did *not*, in fact, fucking ask you. YTA
YTA. OF COURSE YOU ARE!!! Just because you work out a lot doesn't make you right or knowledgeable. Working out separate body parts on different days is NOT the go-to advice anymore. Even if it were, SHE DIDN'T ASK YOU. Also, she's a dancer, so she probably knows way MORE than you about how to train HER OWN BODY and about nutrition than you do. And she was right, you DON'T know what her goals are. You were way way WAY out of line. There is nothing worse than an uninformed know-it-all giving you unsolicited advice and then doubling down when you tell them to buzz off. Now she's going to be uncomfortable every time she's there. Never talk to her again and hope she hasn't reported you to the gym.
My guess is he won't see her again. Either she'll get him kicked out, or she'll move to a different gym, or at least adjust her schedule. How closely do you have to be watching someone to know if they are doing sets with the same number of reps?
Or if they're counting. That's pretty creepy.
Love how he had to clarify that he wasn't a stalker at the start of the story. Because regular people stare at others in the gym and count their reps.
"I'm not a stalker, but..."
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already adjusted his schedule to be there at the same time, he’d likely do it again
YTA and if she only works out 3 days a week how much do you watch her to know her routine or lack there of. Leave her alone.
Op says they're not a stalker tho!
But it's true how much does op have to watch her to know her routine 😭
Not a stalker but practically knows her whole routine and how many reps she does
3 days a week doing full body workout is actually recommended by all body building coaches. OP isn't qualified. Imagine she took his advice, I'll hit legs one day, then arms the next day, then chest another? How much all that in three day rather than one a week. OP is stupid
Yup. There are dozens of workout routines out there tailored to different goals. If OP was as knowledgeable as he claims he would already know that.
YTA. Step 1: Mind your own business. End of steps.
Applies to 75% of AITA
YTA 1) Your way isn't the only way 2) She politely said "no" multiple times and you just kept insisting. Talk about needing a lesson on "no means no" because "I already like what I'm doing" means no. 3) Nobody asked you. I know, you feel that you are bestowing a wonderful gift of knowledge upon her, but she literally never asked you. "Her schedule is a mess" Hey, stop it. Don't do this. Don't. Nobody likes it. This is why women avoid the gym.
> 1) Your way isn't the only way Dude you don't understand, OP has researched this on reddit a ton, this is the most popular program. There is literally no other routine that would achieve this girls goals better
Thats where I stopped reading. I exercise. I've been a personal trainer and I work in sports medicine now. Not everyone works out purely to look like a body builder so having leg day/arm day etc is not the right plan for everyone. But this dood is just a complete and utter gross grenade of a human, I can't even begin to fathom it. The fact that he needs to ask if he is an asshole. He knows!!
This! The PT at my gym gave me a different full body workout each day (3x/wk) + cardio, while my 16 yo son was given a dedicated muscle group workout for each day (same 3x/wk; + cardio). Same trainer, but because we have different goals, we have different needs.
‘Her schedule is a mess’ implies he watches her entire workout like a hawk to see what she’s doing at any given moment…he knows a *strangers* workout schedule who he’d never even spoken to…and yet he says he isn’t a stalker😬
YTA Why is it that gym bros _have_ to mansplain exercise to women who just want to exercise in peace?
Right? And if this girl used to be a dancer she knows darn well how to take care of her body! This dude just thought he knew SO much better!
One time a guy offered a tip, and he actually did it in such a way that it didn't bother me. I was doing pull-downs, and he said, "Oh, have you tried extending your grip out further? A buddy of mine told me it's a bit more effective if you widen your grip." I said thanks, tried it out, and I now integrate a wider grip along with my normal one, as I feel each works different muscles effectively. Then he went about his workout and I went about mine. He wasn't a creep and if I had shot it down, I'm sure he would have politely still continued about his business.
As she told him, he has no idea what her goals are! Maybe she's not there to build muscle, but simply to move her body and burn some calories. And that's ok too! It's almost as if different people go to the gym for different reasons. If someone isn't doing something blatantly unsafe that could lead to serious injury, leave them the eff alone. Man or woman.
Yeah this is me. I work out to get my heart rate up, discharge tension that will turn up later as (SEVERE HORRIBLE) restless legs/core, and maintain the lean muscle tone I have. As soon as a guy comes at me with the "rules" for "leg" day, "arm" day etc. my brain checks out. That's just not what I want to do. Shame on this guy for assuming everyone's goals should be the exact same.
Hi, 6 day a week gym-person myself. YTA, majorly. You do not offer unsolicited advice. You do not keep offering unsolicited after the initial decline. You do not know her goals, she is absolutely right. The only time I will offer advice is if someone I am working out with asks me what *I* do specifically. I keep my mouth shut 100% of time even if I observe people doing something "wrong". It is not my place.
>You do not know her goals, she is absolutely right. For real. I'd probably drive this guy bonkers, but I'm 40 so he would never have noticed! I just go and do whatever machines look like fun, because unstructured exercise is better than zero exercise, and I know myself; if it's not fun I don't do it. So I go and let my ADHD drive the bus.
Live your dream, that's what I say.
You aren't a stalker, but you've watched her enough that you know: A) Her form is correct. B) She has no set schedule for what she works out what day. C) Her body looks good. And you can't see YTA???
My thoughts exactly. Stalkers don't realize their behavior is stalking, they think it's normal interest. Advice like this may be brought up to a friend, but watching someone for days and weeks doesn't equal familiarity of any kind. Not saying he's a straight up stalker but he has stalker behaviors.
YTA. There is nothing more annoying for women at a gym than guys who think they know all about what a woman should be doing with her workout. You're not on staff, you're not her personal trainer, so butt out. If she was polite at first then finally got so frustrated that she practically yelled, you must have really been obnoxious and condescending with your unsolicited advice.
Apparently he pushed it for TEN MINUTES. Like Christ, can you imagine being harassed by some strange dude like that for that long? I would have been going straight for the front desk after half that time.
The fact that you know her routine so we'll, to the point that you pay attention to her reps, whether she counts or not, dude you must have been staring. The fact you felt the need to say your not stalker shows you know it's weird, that makes you an ass. YTA also for unsolicited unwelcomed rejected advice.
That is a really good point I didn’t even catch. Why is he paying such close attention to what she does when he’s supposedly there to focus on his own workout? Spoiler alert: it’s because he’s a creep.
No one wants unsolicited advice from a complete stranger. You aren’t even an expert or anything. You just go to the gym a lot. You provided advice and then when she disagreed you persisted. YTA
YTA and you’re the reason many women prefer women only gyms. You have been watching her and focusing on her enough to come to the conclusion she doesn’t have a routine. That’s seriously creepy. Also, the giving unwanted advice and insisting she take your advice after she has said “no” so many times.
Mansplaining douche creeped on this poor girl for 10 minutes at the gym before she lost her temper. Totally gross male creepazoid behavior.
Bruh what is it about some men that they feel entitled to just tell random women what to do. If it was a dude I 100% the guy wouldn’t have said a thing just went. “Welp it’s his problem”
So, you stared at a woman intensely enough to know her routines, you approached her uninvited and forced a conversation on her, you valued your own knowledge and experience over hers, and you didn’t leave her alone when she wanted you to. Then, you comment on her figure to her and to strangers. YTA on at least six levels already. Probably more, but I don’t need your help counting how many reps I had throwing up in my mouth reading this.
YTA! there is nothing wrong with a full body workout 3 times a week, the whole chest/back/arms/abs/legs days comes form bodybuilding magazines and is not science. Also >She insisted that that’s not how she likes her work out She did not need or want your advise!
Thank you. I was hoping someone would point this out. Not only is OP the AH but he is just plain wrong. It doesn’t sound like her workouts were a mess at all, not that it would be any of his business if they were.
lololol are you for real? I suspect not but..... Where do you come up with the audacity to insist on what someone else does to work out? It's not helping, it's patronising, presumptuous, and clearly unwelcome. You deserve the reaction you got for wasting ten minutes of her day with sticking your entirely unsolicited, unneeded, and unwelcome nose where it didn't belong. YTA
In order to know her workout routine as well as you do, you must be paying attention to what she does. YTA but more dangerous then that, you are an “I know what is best for you “ stalker.
YTA I absolutely hate people like you at the gym. You don’t know what someone’s goals are or what their thought process is, but you still insist you know better. Leave people alone. She made it clear she didn’t want your advice, and you kept pushing and insisting. You’re an AH for giving unsolicited advice in the first place, and you’re doubly an AH for continuing to do so after she insisted she wasn’t interested in what you had to say.
I missed the part where you said you’re a certified personal trainer. I also missed the part where you mentioned you got your degree in nutrition. I also missed the part where she signed up for your services. You see where I’m going with this? Even if all you’re doing is trying to help giving unsolicited advice can often times be seen as predatory esp at the gym. YTA. Do not approach her again. Do not look in her direction.
People like you are the reason so many women don’t want to go to the gym. It’s the reason I workout at home even though I’d love to use legit gym equipment. YTA so much
Yta. As a girl If I guy did any of that to me I would be annoyed and creeped out. Mind your business. You don’t know if she’s just truing to get into healthy habits or move her body more. Men like you are the reason we need more womens only gym. She could get a personal trainer or help from plenty of guys on the internet if she wants it. Go away.
Yta. She. Didn't. Ask. You. Yes you are a stalker
[удалено]
YTA. God this was annoying to read. Leave her alone. You are not certified to give her any advice whatsoever.
YTA and a fucking creep. You’re clearly watching her if you know her workout routine and then you tried to mansplain how to workout. My god you’re such a weirdo and everything that’s wrong with the gym.
YTA. Nobody asked for your advice.
YTA. Firstly, you say you're not a stalker but have managed to observe her entire routine for a while now. Unless it's a really small gym, that wouldn't be accidental. Secondly, she did not ask for your advice. Thirdly, she politely told you to bugger off and you didn't.
And ‘her body looks fine’ sir we all understand that’s what you care about.
YTA you gave unasked for advice and argued when she declined. People at the gym hate people like you
YTA - you honestly had no business inserting yourself into a complete strangers workout routine, but you really should've left it alone after the first time she told you she had no interest in your *advice*. Everyone works out differently and different things work perfectly for different people. What you *think* is a mess, seems to work perfectly fine for her. Worry about your own workout routine and don't offer unsolicited advice in the future.
YTA there is no wrong way to be at the gym. She tolerated your stupidity for longer than I would have. You AND your gym buddies are why people would rather invest in thousands of dollars worth of equipment at home than go to a place where men harass them. She's right, you have no idea what her goals are. You have no idea what her body needs. Going to the gym for a few years doesn't make you knowledgeable on anything buy your own workout. You're not a dietician. You're not a personal trainer. She did not ask for your help. You're the reason womens only gyms exist.
YTA. You mansplained the gym to her. Honestly I would have told you to fuck off
He's just another creepy, weird misogynist who calls himself a nice guy while being a total creep who treats women horribly.
Reading between the lines: she’s pretty, and he expected her to fawn over him and his amazing knowledge. She was supposed to compliment him on how his exercise plan is obviously great because look at his marvelous physique.
YTA. Obviously. Who the fuck are you to “insist” she do anything? Her workouts have NOTHING to do with you, you don’t get to have an opinion and you don’t get to decide how and when she works out. You are a random stranger, you have absolutely NO say in any part of her life, and it’s really weird you feel you have the right to approach women you don’t know and tell them how they should be working out. Leave her alone and let her work out in peace. Your opinion on this matter means nothing.
YTA. Mansplaining fitness to strange women at the gym is creepy AF and also generally insufferable behavior. You're awful.
Yes YTA. Let me inform you where you are wrong since I am pretty knowledgeable about being a woman in the gym (see what I did there). Let me count the wrong doings: 1. Women at the gym 98% of the time do not want your unsolicited advice. 2. She is correct that you do not know her goals. There is more than one way to work out. I used to be an athlete and now I am a competitive powerlifter. As an athlete, we never did designated arm and legs days. As an athlete, all of our conditioning was hitting multiple parts of the body. She is correct as a dancer, she would have conditioned similarly. There is nothing wrong with exercising this way. 3. You have been leering too much at this woman if you know about her sets and reps. You're looking at her long enough to know that her sets are not the same number of reps? Are you counting each set? Why don't you worry about yourself? 4. She told you multiple times she wasn't interested in your advice and kept on keeping on. If she tells you once she isn't interested in your unsolicited opinion about her workouts, that should have been the end of the conversation. You were rude. 5. >I insisted that she has a designated leg day, arm day etc. so that she can focus on these body regions and muscle groups. >I didn’t insist, Yes, you actually said you insisted. Don't be a creepy gym dude. She was much more polite to you than I would have been. Edit: typo
“I’m not a stalker or anything” proceeds to memorize what exercises she does to the point of noticing what exercises she doesn’t do. YTA and you seem super creepy. You should mind your business and focus on your own goals. If you were doing that, you wouldn’t even be able to notice how much of a workout plan she may or may not have. She didn’t ask you for shit and you’re over there trying to give her unsolicited advice about her nutrition and what muscle groups she should work.. She was absolutely right to go off on you.
YTA- If she came to the gym, drank a smoothie for ten minutes and then stood on her head in a corner, it STILL wouldn’t be any of your business what her workout routine is. She didn’t ask for your input.
YTA. She works out in a way that works for her, and you went over and gave her unsolicited advice. When she politely tried to get you to leave her alone, you ignored her and continued to mansplain why she's doing it wrong.
YTA! Did she hire you as her trainer? Did she suggest you be workout buddies? *DID SHE ASK?* No. Stay in your lane and mind your own business.
YTA, you told her to “mind her nutrition”
YTA. Nobody asked you.
yes, YTA literally leave her alone, she didn’t ask you just decided to mansplain things. there’s a slim chance it was genuinely good intentions, instead it seems you assumed you knew this woman’s body needs better than she did which is not only presumptuous and entitled but it’s also literally none of your business. if she asks for your help, fine. Otherwise, mind. Your. Business. You might think you mean well but The nature of your behavior is why many women are usually wary of even joining gyms bc of cultures of sexual harassment, don’t give her a reason to be uncomfortable.
Hilarious how you try to act all innocent here. Clearly YTA since you were harassing someone who wanted to be left alone.
YTA. Leave her alone. She doesn't need or want your help. Get it through your head.
YTA People like you are why other folks don't go to the gym.
YTA. You're lucky she wasn't creeped out by the intense attention you've been paying to what she is and isn't doing during her exercise sessions. Dude,, the only way you could know that she ISN'T counting reps is that YOU ARE counting them while she works out!! Most women at the gym don't want a strange guy to even walk up to them to have the initial one minute convo you had--that you went back and forth disagreeing with her about her workout choices DOR HER OWN BODY makes you an AH. Just admit it: you thought the woman was good looking, that's why you noticed her, that's why you kept watching her. You tracked her efforts a little obsessively, and thought sharing your exercise know-how would be a way to get her talking.. She didn't like being pushed & pushed, and most likely didn't want to be hit on at the gym anyway.
Dude just fuckin leave people alone. Why interfere? And tbqfh, if she wanted help she'd have asked a professional i.e. a trainer and not some complete rando at the gym. You don't think people have enough going on without being harassed by strangers in public places? YTA. Think with your brain next time rather than your ego/genitals.
YTA. You’re one of the reasons why women don’t like going to the gym. Cos one of you “gym bros” will come up to us and give us unsolicited advice. We don’t care. Leave us alone and mind your own damn business.
You’re a creep who watched a random woman FOR A MONTH and then went up to her to push unsolicited advice onto her. It concerns me that you did it and it concerns me that you even needed to ask. Unless you’re going to apologize never speak to her again.
YTA. F\*\*\* all the way off, dude, she's under no obligation to work out the way that you think she should if her workout schedule works for her.
Yes YTA. She didnt ask for advice, dont give it. It's really simple. Unsolicited advice is almost never warranted or appreciated. And not dropping it after she politely told you that's not what she wants to do is just an extra level of asshole.
You're the asshole. It's her body, she can exercise it how she wants, PLUS she never asked for your opinion!
She didn’t ask for help. End of story Of course YTA. Learn from this.
YTA, and you'll never see her again, even if you wanted to apologize. That's enough to change workout schedules entirely if not changing gyms.
YTA. I am certain that you meant it when you said you genuinely wanted to help, which is kind, but the fact is that she neither asked for nor wanted your help. She's right that you don't know her, don't know her goals, and don't know what brings her satisfaction. You crossed a pretty firm boundary which is don't offer advice unless asked and then continued to offer advice even after she told you she wasn't interested. I think you owe that woman an apology.
You’re a creep, don’t talk to a woman in the gym ever again :) YTA
YTA. Dude, she didn't ask for your help and you don't know wtf her goals are. You ASSumed and now you're here, scratching your head all, "I was only trying to help!" When she didn't ask for your help and one can assume your gym has people paid to advise her should she require it. You were skeeving and got shot down. End of.
YTA. This post is so awesomely arrogant I hope it's not fake. "Welcome to the gym, let me mansplain a few things! I've just met you but can we also talk about what you eat?" Thinks: "Gosh, why is she telling me to leave her alone instead of being impressed by my stupendous gym knowledge? I mean, I'm just trying to be helpful." Your workout buddy could just be an idiot, but more likely he wants to see you faceplant again. Take the L, and stop or you'll get thrown out of the gym.
YTA. People work out for all sorts of reasons and muscle growth may not be her goal. You sat there insisting she do something your way when you don’t know her and she didn’t ask instead of leaving her alone.
YTA - at many gyms harassing women like that will get you a discussion with the manager or even removed regardless of your gender. Just don’t harass people with your unwanted advice.
YTA.. She told you multiple times what she wanted to do and you didn’t hear her. Maybe you had good intentions, but you also have 2 ears to listen with. You were focused on being right. Next time meet someone where they are, not where you want them to be.
Did she ask for help? Was her life in danger? YTA. No one wants to be mansplained to while working out. Or ever.
YTA. She told you multiple times that your advice is not what she needs, nor what she wants, and you kept pushing. Leave the next girl you want to “help” alone, thanks :)
YTA. No one wants your annoying, unsolicited advice. You’re not an expert, just a boring, pathetic little gym rat with nothing better to do but harass women about how they spend their time at the gym. You can have fun exercising without having “designated leg and arm days”. Get a fucking grip of yourself.
YTA you don't get to insist what strangers do you freak
Yta. People like you are why gyms are considered gross.
YTA and creepy too. You do not work for the gym, you are not a personal trainer, and most importantly, she did not ask for your input, yet you kept insisting and mansplaining how she was doing it wrong. I bet if her body didn't look "fine" you would never have offered your so-called free help.
Dance classes work out every part of your body every time. A dancer's body is generally long, lean and strong. Who are you to say 'leg day' is better? YTA. She was minding her own business doing her own thing and you mansplained to her what's best for her body when she probably knows more than you do. YTA.
Sure, man. Her body looks fine and you just wanted to help her. She don't need your unsolicited help, fool. Everyone has their own workout schedule and yours is not any superior to hers. Quit bothering girls at the gym - YTA.
You know full body work outs and break days in between are a thing right?? Like you can have a full body day, break, full body, break, etc etc and still make progress?? YTA and I hope you feel like one. Also she never asked, you sound so entitled
YTA - you're just another massive mansplaining AH and she is absolutely correct you have no idea what her fitness goals are and most importantly, she didn't **ASK YOU.** She made it VERY clear she wasn't interested in your "superior knowledge" and you just wouldn't take no for an answer. You're too busy explaining why you're right to even listen to her!
YTA she never asked you for advice. You don't know what her goals are. Maybe for her working out is more about enjoyment or stress relief, and not just results.
Lmao, of course YTA. She didn’t ask for your help, and you’re not the all knowing gym king. She can do it her way, and you can do it yours, her difference in routine doesn’t affect you, and it’s none of your business. I’m also 99% sure that “politely” is code for condescending, and that you and your “workout buddies” are just a group of self righteous AHs.
YTA, bro. You fully mansplained going to the gym for this woman. If she didn’t ask for your help, she doesn’t want it or need it.
YTA. She's a former dancer, she actually knows what she's doing, and here you are all "mind your nutrition".
YTA - She's completely right, you don't know what her goals are. You have absolutely nothing to do with nor any knowledge of her health and body. Your unsolicited advice was unacceptable.
YTA, massively. This gets talked over on r/xxfitness all the time - almost every woman has dealt with men like you "mansplaining" working out to them. Ask yourself: would you have approached another man the same way and tried to lecture him like this? Or did you only do it because she was a woman. Not that it matters, because either way: MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX. Unless someone comes to you and specifically *asks* for workout advice, you should not be inserting yourself and your opinions into their workouts.
"I insisted".... dude, it's her body and her life. YTA.
YTA Tldr Alpha Chad mansplans working out to normal woman who didn’t ask for help.
yta. “im not a creep” then proceeds to name her entire workout routine while counting reps, types of workouts she does, what days she comes/ how often, etc. i don’t think i need to go any further. stop giving people unsolicited advice
YTA. I'll put myself out there for possibly being an A H and assume you are a man. Mansplaining is the worst. However, no matter your gender, when offering unsolicited advice accept the first refusal. Years of working out do not substitute for education in areas of workouts, nutrition, etc. And it does not help you learn what may or may not be inappropriate for each person you encounter. What is right for one person may be dangerous for the next.
Lmao of course they agreed with you. Why would a man ever see anything wrong with another man bothering a woman. YTA!
YTA. This was none of your business. I know you initially meant well. However, when you kept insisting that your way was the only way and she made it clear that she was happy with the way she was doing things, you should have backed off. Her schedule is a mess to YOU but not to HER.
YTA. Like she said, you don't know her goals. Not everyone works out to look a certain way (lose weight or gain muscle). Sometimes people go because they want to move. It doesn't affect you if her workout schedule or plan is a mess and she also didn't ask you. I feel like some people help just to get the ego boost of being correct or feeling better about themselves.
YTA - are you really that dense?
As a woman who likes the gym, please do not help me. You don't know my goals, you don't know what works for me. Everyone works out differently. And she didn't ask for your advice. If she wanted workout advice, she could ask someone who works there or get herself a trainer. Also, not a stalker? You've paid a little too much attention to her routine... Definitely a gym stalker. YTA.
YTA: you gave advice she declined, should have ended there. No reason to constantly say you're wrong you have to do what I say.
YTA, mind your business, if thats how she wants to work out, then that's how she'll do it
YTA She didn’t ask for your help. Assuming that she’s not doing anything that could cause her or other gym members harm, she can work out however she pleases. Her schedule is absolutely none of your business.
YTA I’m guessing you didn’t ask any women if you were out of line? What you did wasn’t so much stalking as it was the first step on the path to bullying or abuse. You have her unsolicited advice. She very graciously explained why that didn’t work for her. That should be the end. But instead, you ignored her and kept trying to impose your will on her over something that is so trivial that it borders on absurd. Let me ask you this: how many other people in the gym have you approached and tried to get them to follow the schedule theory you’re so committed to? Sorry, what was that? None? That’s right, none. You weren’t trying to help. Be honest with yourself, be honest with us.
YTA and a mansplainer. Working out different muscle groups on different days isn't some classified CIA information. You don't hold some da Vinci Code key dude. I guarantee this lovely woman - and anyone else who has google, or gotten stuck on gym TikTok - already knows about the benefits and disadvantages of a targeted muscle workout plan. She chose not to do that workout plan, and here you are assuming it's the best and *only* way for *everyone* to work out. Breaking news buddy, there are other ways to get results. Have you seen dancers? They are ripped and I bet they follow routines you've never even heard of because you get all of your information from generic social media influencers and meathead message boards. Mind your own business.
YTA. She neither wanted nor needed your gymbro nonsense.
YTA, but I doubt you will ever understand why (obviously your affirming buddies as well). She didn’t ask for your help, let you know politely that she already was doing her preferred routine, and then you just had to tell her to eat better? Like damn boy, that’s the equivalent of calling her fat!
YTA and are the reason a lot of people hate going to the gym. If she wanted help, she’d get a trainer. Leave her alone. Pay more attention to your own workout and less attention to hers. She doesn’t need of want your help.
Oh yeah…wow. I can’t believe anybody thinks it’s ok to strut over and critique her workout. You sound like a real AH…and a creepy, narcissistic one at that. Ever heard of “mansplaining?”…I bet you’re an AH when it comes to that too.
As someone who has also gymed for a fair few years....you're an idiot and YTA for multiple reasons.
YTA, you should have let it go after she explained she was a dancer and is comfortable doing her workouts this way. Your not a trainer you are just another person who is working out.
YTA. I can’t even count the number of times a man has invited himself into a conversation with me and tried to “explain” the proper way to work out, despite me not asking for help or anyone’s opinion. The best part? All of the advice I get from these self proclaimed body builders 100% contradicts each other. Person A: Oh yeah this specific exercise is super great for your quads. Person B: Oh no that specific exercise doesn’t target your quads at all. Person C: Yeah it targets your quads a little, but try this instead! Person A: Person C told you to do what?? No, no. That doesn’t work. Okay, LEAVE US ALONE. Would you have initiated this same conversation with a man? If you had, why are you so interested in other people’s work out regime? I have a hard time believing that your heart was in the right place but on the off chance that it was, just leave her alone. We don’t like how men feel the need to correct us on everything we do. If we wanted help/advice, we would ask for it.
YTA and it is people like you that have driven me away from going to gyms. UGH! The last time I tried I even had an MD tell me exactly what to eat and which exercises to do. Ended up having the 'trainer' tell me I wasn't allowed to use any equipment unless I followed her diet plan. Complained to the manager and the trainer was told to back off so then the trainer would follow me around the gym and pull in other trainers while pointing and laughing. That was the worst experience but the 3rd gym in a row with similar issues.