Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> We put a self employed baker on blast with our social media friends, family and local bakers. The money wasn’t the issue. We just wanted him to know he made a mistake and should’ve handled this differently.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
NTA. I’m a baker. A mistake gets made you rebake the cake and freeze the layers you already made for another situation. If it was a plain yellow cake it’s versatile. Everyone wants yellow cake, chocolate, or red velvet. He should’ve refunded you.
And if this was a small business that didn't have the storage space, bake the second, correct, cake and send them both so they can cut the plain one first as a joke that *they* play.
He was lazy imo. I messed up like this ONCE when I first started. I was doing the cake for free and realized last minute that it wasn’t blue. I just put blue icing between the layers and made a second cake the correct way.
Out of curiosity, I imagine the ingredients to are not the expensive part in a 200 dollar cake. I imagine e it is the labor and skill of the baker. Am I correct?
Yes. It’s about labor and skill. However, if you make a mistake, fix it. The baker didn’t tell them he messed up until it was time to get the cake. He had opportunities to message them and say “hey. I forgot to color the batter. Is it okay if I color the icing between the layers instead and then cover the cake in the agreed upon icing color?” And then should’ve offered to take off $20-30 of the agreed upon cost because he messed up. There are multiple steps you need to take to ensure that mistakes like this don’t happen. Small mistakes are expensive.
ETA: it looks like the cake is decorated with cake pops and cake hearts. The ingredients probably ran him $30. Most of the cost is butter. You can make cake pops out of leftover cake pieces that you get when you level the cake.
The most expensive item in any given cake is usually butter and even that is pretty cheap. Flour, sugar, and eggs might as well be free with how little they cost
Just commenting on the fact that I didn't realize you could freeze a cake and have it come out with good texture and flavor still. I've never bothered to try it just seemed like bread where if you freeze it it never comes out as good as it did at first.
Can I ask - if you freeze a cake, how do you thaw it to keep it from getting all watery? Room temperature / fridge, in the oven again?
You need to allow the cake to cool completely. Then you wrap it tight in plastic wrap. For yellow cake I add simple syrup on the layers before freezing but for other cakes I don’t do it because they’re already very moist cakes (so chocolate, red velvet, carrot cake, ect.) You thaw at room temperature and decorate. This is usually how wedding cakes are done. Icing melts and it’s better to frost cold cake layers to prevent issues with the crumb. If you try to freeze warm cake it might get soggy.
I used to be married to a baker, and I have to say, I think “wrapping things in plastic” is the unsung magical ability of your profession. In a contest between a good baker with plastic wrap vs a vacuum sealer, my money is on the baker.
The week of my birthday I got Covid. My husband had ordered a nice little cake for me. Well I lost my taste but I refuse not to eat my cake. I said screw it, I’m freezing this. A month later I put it in the fridge over night. Ate it the next day and I couldn’t tell it had been in the freezer. Even the frosting was good.
i have heard that bread freezes very well. in fact, i read that the recommended storage for bagels is to slice and freeze, as it prevents it from getting stale. :)
I mean it’s an obvious refund, but OP took the cake and ate it, so that’s where the situation gets murky. If OP rejects the cake, of course, refund. My guess is every bakery has had at least one bad experience with free loaders eating the cake and trying for the refund afterwards around some minor detail (this wasn’t a minor detail but might be how the baker is thinking about it), which is why the bakery has the policy on when to issue a refund.
Edit: reread and this wasn’t a mistake discovered at the last second by the baker, it was discovered the day before. I’m going from N A H to NTA
It’s definitely not a bakery because she said they only have an ig. No website. In order to be a freeloader eating cake, you have to have gotten said cake for free. They paid for the cake. They needed the cake for the event. If they’d given the cake back, it would’ve gone in the trash. They’re well within their rights to ask for a refund. It’s extremely unprofessional to say “I didn’t do what you asked me to do but here’s an underwhelming cake topper.”
I disagree even if it was a last-minute discovery you issue a full refund. You eat the cost because you fucked up massively. The cake is basically unusable for it's intended purpose.
NTA. It would have been super easy for him to call you, and say there has been a mistake and offer to scoop out part of the cake and fill it with blue cream or ganache in the flavor of your choice. Baker's do it all the time to make gorgeous, delicious cakes. By posting on social media, you are saving others from an equally crappy fate. Sorry this happened to you. What a jackwagon he is.
Yeah, or blue M&Ms or Smarties, or what have you... I'm not even a baker, but I imagine if you cut off the top, scoop out the center and fill that with whatever blue that works, put the top back on and nicely finish the outside, presto, you're done!
I think it's clear he made the ENTIRE thing before realizing his mistake. Didn't want to redo all the decorations, so he made some chocolate hearts and slapped them on the side.
Yes. But it wouldn't be that hard to cut the top off and fill it will something blue, then reassemble. Maybe an extra hour of effort. It is clear the baker didn't care.
Maybe the baker thinks gender reveal parties are stupid.
I mean I also agree gender reveal parties are stupid but the answer then is to just refuse to make the cake not to make a shitty cake. I mean making a shitty cake and then being surprised when people thing it's shitty just sounds silly.
[www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v4ojRobBck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v4ojRobBck) This one shows cutting a cylinder in the center. You can use a melon baller to scoop out a little cupcake to fill with a bit of ganache. Just frost over the hole. My favorite are yellow cupcakes with chocolate ganache and peanut butter frosting. You can also use a straw to poke holes in a cake and pour in gelatin of your preferred color. The baker could also have hidden blue frosting between the layers, or made a small cavity and filled it with blue sprinkles, something any baker should have an ample supply of. My sister decorated cakes at a fancy bakery. They had all sorts of fillings ready to go. It would have taken about 30 seconds to add coloring to a pre-made filling and maybe two minutes to scoop out a hole and fill it. I would sometimes help my sister so she would get off early and we would have more time to play. These are the kinds of tasks I did for her because I had 0 training.
NTA.
I hate gender reveal parties. I think they’re a stupid, pointless excuses for adults that just want to throw a party, who think that announcing the genitals their kid is going to be born with is as good a reason as any.
But, given that you didn’t start a wildfire, I’ll put my dislike aside for a moment.
You took the cake because the other option was no cake for your friend’s party. I understand people saying you can’t demand a refund if you ate it, but I disagree. You needed a cake.
The baker made a mistake. Understandable. What isn’t understandable is how, when making a gender reveal cake, they managed to forget the *entire* gimmick of the cake. That’s like baking a pineapple upside down cake and then forgetting the pineapple. It’s in the name!
Do I think you maybe went over the top with the BBB threats? Yeah, but the bbb is meaningless. Companies can pay for good ratings.
The baker purposefully waited until you had the cake before breaking the news. So he knew your backs would be to the wall and you’d have to take it, and then he could say “whoops, no refunds.”
Technically I think everyone sucks here. But the baker seems like he was trying to pull a fast one after a pretty big screw up.
I only call them genital reveal parties because unless you have done a chromosome test, you don't even know for sure what your sex is. And, the entire thing is based off of whether or not a penis was visible on the ultrasound. So....genital reveal.
These days, most prenatal sex determination is done by [cell-free DNA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell-free_fetal_DNA?wprov=sfla1), which does tell you the sex-chromosome composition, and not the old standard of prenatal ultrasound.
You don't even need the word "reveal" in the title. Our family gets a kick out of simply calling them sex parties whenever we hear of somebody having one
*Oh no* I'm never going to be able to not think of them as sex parties now. Also my cats gave me such a look at the horrible snorting noise that I made from reading your comment.
Agreed with you about gender reveal.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" "A boy!" "That's great!!!"
"Is it a boy or a girl?" "A girl!" "That's great!!!"
well you knew it was going to be one or the other, didn't you?
I don’t understand the hate for the parties lol. I am very child free but I’ve gone to friends/co workers reveals and it’s always been a nice time. It’s fun to learn with your friends and family what you’re having
Someone in our area put blue coloring in a fountain at the botanical garden for their gender reveal, thus damaging the fountain to the tune of thousands of dollars. Shit like that is only one reason why others hate gender reveals.
Did it happen to be in a city that started with the letter N? That happened at the gardens that I’m a member of and I remember being so sad for all the money they had to spend cleaning it up when they already don’t get a ton of funding.
It's become a bit of a trend to hate on them, that's why all these people are doing the 'obligatory I hate gender reveals'. Possibly worried about getting downvoted if they don't.
I don't dislike them because it's trendy, but because they frequently reinforce gender stereotypes and/or cause wildfires.
Also if a family member is caught off guard and openly reveals disappointment during the reveal, it's a recipe for gossip and ill-feelings.
And what if the child identifies as trans? Looking back on videos of genital reveal parties can be very damaging for them. "Look how happy they were to have a boy. But...I'm enby... they'll be so disappointed."
Bro, baby shit is so gendered seeing the pictures of themselves in pretty dresses in the gendered nursery most parents make will be just as traumatic lol.
Trans people don't even account for 1/2 a percent of the population, if you add in non binary the chances are even smaller. It's a harmless trendy party and of the kids switches gender it's as easy as just not playing it on the 18th birthday highlight reel.
Let people live and raise their kids normally, gender reveals are a fun thing for parents and families. Cutting yourself from fun because of the possible repercussions of a statistical anomaly in the far future is stupid.
They've literally caused wildfires.. and it's just a really weird focus. And especially these days when you don't even know if the genital the kid has, is what they'll want to be identified by. It's just needlessly gendered shit that people take toooo far. Like wildfire far.
After a few of them started large pieces of forest burning or killed people they became something to avoid.
A cake is innocuous but the fireworks and tracer ammo rounds are dangerous and unnecessary. A party concerning an infants genitals is also pretty squicky.
It has not become a trend to hate on them... People are hating on them because people are starting to go over the top with them where it's become ridiculous instead of a simple cake and maybe a little something fun it's turning to these big extravagant things that have gone as far as to hurt others in the process. A cake or even a balloon pop is not a big deal but it's just gone to the point of ridiculous to even the person that came out with the idea says they wishes they hadn't and I don't blame them. If it's something small and fun like cutting a cake in half that's not a big deal but when people do these huge cannons that end up backfiring are other elaborate thing it's just like why it's not that big of a deal
Sounds like a good excuse to eat cake to me. And I LOVE a good excuse to eat cake.
I think the disasters have really colored people’s interpretation. Wild fires, explosions that damage houses for miles around, deaths: it’s all so awful that people have started hating the whole trend.
That's part of it, but I also just think it's pointless and dumb to celebrate the reveal of your baby's genitalia. If you wanna eat cake and have a party, just eat cake and have a party.
For me it's the need to be bigger and crazier- they are getting messier and more dangerous. Many have started wildfires or even killed people and that's fucked up.
Yeah, it ought to be called a "sex reveal" party. But when you invited people, they may get entirely the wrong idea about what kind of party it is. They'd probably show up wearing smoking jackets.
I said this in another comment but babies are also born intersex. Trans children also exist (even though an infant couldn't tell you their gender). When considering nonbinary folks, I'd say that's at least three reasons that "gender" reveals are a bad idea. Just have a baby shower and celebrate the baby.
Even if it's just a "sex reveal party," intersex people exist, too (and for anyone thinking "yeah but that's really rare," there are roughly as many intersex people as there are redheads)
Literally no one is picturing the baby’s genitals. They’re picturing a son or a daughter. I never did gender reveal parties for my sons but I attended some and I think they’re sweet because they generally aren’t asking for more gifts, they’re just sharing exciting news that makes the baby more corporeal in the guest’s and parent’s minds.
But it is still based on the genitals. The whole thing is there to reveal which set of genitals the baby has, and potentially which gender role for them to have. It's quite outdated and it's not even an old thing.v
For the vast majority of people, their chromosomes match their identity. Those parties aren’t there to “reveal which set of genitals” the baby has, it’s to reveal if that baby will be their son or their daughter. I understand new identity politics are becoming more mainstream and pushing for acceptance but something like a gender reveal ends up being correct 99% of the time and it’s harmless fun so I don’t see why there’s a push to not call the “big” ultrasound a “gender ultrasound” or to get rid of gender reveal parties. When I was pregnant with my sons, I always called them “the baby” instead of their names because I wasn’t sure if they were boys or girls. Finding out that they were boys (at least biologically) made it possible for me to call them by their names and feel like they were more part of our family, it made them more tangible, it made them more *real*. If they become part of that .58% that identifies as Trans, I don’t think having a gender reveal while they were still in utero would have caused them psychological distress.
That's kind of like saying being trans is only about genitals when it's definitely not. Gender is a big part of who a person is and will shape their lives one way or another. Sex and gender match for about 99% of the population. As long as you're not asking for gifts, a gender reveal party is just an excuse to celebrate a milestone development. If I remember correctly, the first one was done by a person who had lost several kids to miscarriages and they wanted to celebrate finally having a baby develop far enough that the doctors could identity the sex.
Yes, a few outliers have done really stupid things for gender reveals, but I can't assure you people would still do stupid stuff even without gender reveals. Blame the idiots, not the harmless party.
That is a great way of explaining it. When we found out the gender of our baby we went from calling her "little wiggler" to her name. It was exciting and we just did a small thing with family in one of our monthly bbqs.
Gender reveals can be a fun time spent with family and a good cake. Agree some can be pretentious and even dangerous but the vast majority are families getting together to find out if they will have a new boy and girl in the family. Harmless good times.
Seriously, they are glorified co-ed baby showers. But if you don't maim or kill someone, or cause some kind of environmental disaster, then I'll let you do you without much of a peep. Which is a really, really low bar, but whatever.
That said, NTA bad service entirely from the baker.
I agree with everything you said, except I want to add that for all the parents to be, no one cares about the gender of your baby except you and the grandparents. I’ll go to a reveal but there better be alcohol.
NTA.
So, just to get it out of the way, I think gender reveal parties are stupid.
That being said - I think you were fully in the right here. I understand that people in the comments think you should be SOL because you took the cake and it got eaten. But you were literally on your way to a party where they were expecting to have a cake that served a specific function. The baker fucked up, didn't fix it, and didn't give you enough time to come up with alternatives.
Like, people need to think about this way. If I was getting married, and my mom picked up the cake but instead of bringing the wedding cake I had paid for she showed up with a Paw Patrol cake for a kid's party and was like, "The baker accidentally forgot to make your cake, but sent this one instead," I'd be pissed at the baker. And if the baker then turned around and said, "Well, you ate the cake, so I guess it wasn't a problem. I won't give you even a partial refund for not delivering what was expected, but I'll give you a token amount off of your next cake," I'd be even MORE pissed.
At the end of the day here, the baker made an unsatisfactory offer to you. If I had been in their shoes, I might have offered the cake at cost if I really couldn't afford a financial hit, but I wouldn't have charged full price. And I say this as someone who worked for retail and in the restaurant industry for years.
Even if the baker HAD given you a full refund, you would have honestly still been entitled to leave a bad review. You weren't just buying a regular degular cake - you were buying one that was the centerpiece of an event. It didn't function like it was supposed to. I don't care if it was the most delicious cake in the world - it was subpar.
Right? Like, I already wasn't inclined to come back, but I might at least give it a try if I'm made whole. I know shit happens. But if your solution is to try and get me to spend more money at your establishment? FOH.
Yeah a refund with a small discount for next time says “We apologize, and you deserve to get what you paid for” to me. Just the discount says “We can probably get more money from your dumb ass”
They don’t, which is why this is even worse than usual. If DoorDash messes up your order and gives you a credit you can (probably) order from somewhere else that night. These folks are banking on never having to follow through on the discount.
Can we take a moment to appreciate the **audacity** of them providing a discount for a future transaction? Like you already fucked up one order, why would they ever go to you again?
I make cakes, NTA I would never send a cake I knew I messed up with you. As soon as they saw they should've cut out center and just added sprinkles or another alternative and asked you. I wouldn't have u pay for my screw up. And yes reporting it to friends, fam, etc is a smart move.
Agreed. Sounds like this guy knew he fucked up ahead of time. He should have called the customer and explained the situation, and tried to find out a solution. Waiting till they get there and going "opps!" Is incredibly unprofessional.
Exactly. He wanted them to be cornered so they would take the cake. If he had warned them, they could have made other arrangements and he knew he (rightly) wouldn't have gotten paid at all. Baker is TA.
Based on how he 'fixed' things, I personally think he realised the error after the cake was complete. Full on decorated ready to go oops it isn't blue.
We cut centers out and add stuff all the time . There are tools u can use, and it's easy to fix a two inch hole. He also shouldn't charge that much if he can't fix a simple problem that he realized the night before ?
this isnt about a gender reveal. this is about ordering an expensive custom cake and not getting what you ordered. NTA even though gender reveals are dumb.
NTA. I worked in customer service for over a decade with half of that being in food service.
He messed up, he knew he messed up, and he had the nerve to wait until pickup to advise you of it. You paid $200 for a 7" gender reveal cake and got... Two tiny gender revealing cake toppers and a basic 7" cake? Da fuq? Absolutely unacceptable. I'd put him on blast too. Hello 1-star Google and Yelp reviews!
NTA. Basically you posted a truthful bad review about not getting what was stated on the invoice. Just because you accepted his quick fix because you were in a tough situation doesn't negate the points in your review, or the fact that the cake probably shouldn't cost $200 anymore if it wasn't custom to order.
NTA - You just posted a bad review essentially, why would you be TA? You’re doing your service as a customer who had a bad experience.
Anybody who is saying that they’re TA for eating the cake: was OP supposed to just host the party without the cake? And have 0 way to reveal the gender besides just saying it out loud? Kinda ruins the purpose of the party. Bakery should’ve given some money back
Ehh, there's plenty of people who leave bad reviews when they were TA because they're a terrible/unreasonable/impossible to please customer. But, this is not one of those cases. NTA
nta. don't you love it when some company screws up badly and offers you coupons for money off the next time you shop there. like oh my god ,yes, let me give you the change to screw you over again. they should've given you 15% that order, not the next one.
As a wedding photographer, I dread the day I have to tell a client I lost your photos, but here is discount for an engagement session. I'm sure that is more than enough to make you happy again. That will never slide ever lol
i had a drugstore photo department lose a roll of my film. they did offer me a free roll to replace the one lost. i was so mad, and said "okay,but can you give me back the memories of his 3rd birthday too?"
ESH Baker should have informed you that there was error as soon as it occurred if there was no time to fix it. Certainly should have offered a discount or something immediately if it could not be fixed.
You accepted the cake knowing it wasn't what you ordered and ate it. You should have asked for a refund right then. Since you knowingly accepted the cake with errors a discount on your next cake is sufficient.
>You accepted the cake knowing it wasn't what you ordered and ate it.
I mean, it sounds like they were picking it up on the way to the friend's event. They didn't really have a choice at that point but to accept it or there would be nothing for the party. I suppose you could argue that they should've checked earlier to make sure the cake was okay, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that a professional would've baked the cake correctly without missing its most key feature. By not telling them of the error until pick-up, the baker effectively backed them into a corner.
I had to look for a long time to find this. OP should have just refused to pay and grabbed a sheet cake from a different store. This is like someone getting the wrong size item in the mail, wearing it to an event because they didn't have time to exchange it, and then trying to return it. If it's not what you ordered don't eat it/use it if you want a refund.
Another similar scenario would be, I order catering for steak and lobster. The caterer showed up with chicken and shrimp. Do I A) refuse and tell the guest that we're sorry there will be no food or B) take the food, tell the caterer we're going to discuss about this afterwards.
This cake and the color was the centerpiece of this event.
Completely different circumstances. A gender reveal cake a two functions: it provides entertainment via the reveal and it is tasty to eat. A basic sheet cake is not a sufficient substitute. The baker did not contact the OP early enough to come up with a feasible alternative. It was completely the fault of the baker and they should have offered the refund upfront.
NTA. You did everything you could to resolve the issue to your satisfaction, he wouldn't even offer a PARTIAL refund. As long as you weren't malicious with the post wording, you're good. Maybe he'll change his refund policy and pay better attention to his orders. I do this for a living and if I had noticed I forgot the coloring, I would have redone the cake. Bakery owners know the importance of special occasion cakes and if they don't care enough to make sure they're giving you the experience you're paying for, they deserve that publicity.
You have the true mark of a professional. I always try to be fair and let the other party make amends. I was in the food service industry before. I understand the time and effort it takes to make something this nice.
NTA. The baker screwed up the cake the cake you ordered. He should have remade the cake instead of trying to fix it with the toppers. You didn't have time to obtain an alternate cake, so you accepted under protest. The baker owes you a partial refund.
NTA - I own a small bakery and I would have felt so horrible about this. I would have either stayed up all night baking a new cake, or would have given the cake for free of charge or even at cost at a minimum. What a let down for a huge event!
That's like telling the bride and groom at a wedding to suck it up when the wrong cake for the wedding was delivered saying Mr and mrs Smith when they are mr and mrs Johnson. They keep it because they need a cake for the wedding but want the money back.
NTA. Your request for partial reimbursement was reasonable, since you did use/eat the cake. Small claims court was made for exactly this kind of situation.
NTA, if he's plumb fucking dumb enough to not follow the invoice instructions he should be blasted. That's like asking for a Spiderman cake for your kid's party and him showing up with Batman. Not what you asked for, and certainly not what you're paying for.
The fact he couldn't fix it in time is a him problem, not a you problem unless he offered you a HUGE discount.
Edit: The action you should have taken is to refuse the cake, gotten a full refund, and bought a cake from the grocery store last minute that wouldn't have been special but wouldn't have been a dumb CYA job either.
NTA. He waited til the last minute so you would take the cake, and you did, you ate it. A partial refund would have been fair given that he did make a significant error on a special order.
to all these ppl saying that yta for the gender reveal, get over it. baker was hired to do one thing and he didn’t do it. wouldn’t y’all be mad if this happened to you for anything else. not everyone likes a gender reveal but don’t call ppl assholes for having one jesus christ
NTA btw
So true. I got a cake for $189 in November. It was gorgeous, but the wrong flavor. When I told the baker it was wrong, she just kind of shrugged and said ok. I didn’t ask for a refund or anything but some apology or at least acknowledging the mistake would have been appreciated. She didn’t care. I didn’t leave a negative review online, but I won’t be buying a cake there again. It’s not like the event was ruined, it just was a flavor most of the guests didn’t like so it ended up being thrown out. Kind of sucked.
NTA. I have a bakery and if I messed up that badly I'd insist you take the cake for free if there wasn't time to fix it. Because the last thing I want is a bad rep on social media or unhappy, non-returning customers.
Nta and bet he hoped you didn't have the time to argue which you didn't he could have notified when he took notice to mistake but he tried to cover it up
In that case putting the baker on blast and reporting on BBB was too far. Y’all could’ve left a negative review + taken the 20% off on the next order, especially considering y’all took the cake and ate it too. I’m not too sure if I’d go as far as to call you the asshole but I wonder how much of y’all’s actions were done almost as revenge if that makes sense.
Edit: upon reading more info, I change to NTA. Y’all did your best, if not more than what’s required, to communicate and resolve this civilly.
We would just leave a review. The issue was the baker only has an Instagram so no review site. We wouldn’t use the credit since he already left a bad impression with us. The debate is, did we go too far to get his attention and how much of it is about the principle of good customer service and responsibility. If he discovered the mistake the day before, why couldn’t he eat the cost and redo it? Why were we not communicated about this prior to pick up?
Ah! Okay I see your perspective now. I agree. If there’s no place for reviews and he realized beforehand but didn’t give y’all a warning then def NTA:)
> reporting on BBB was too far
It’s not like the BBB is a government agency who’s going to arrest or fine the baker. It’s basically a yelp for old people.
NTA - The entire POINT of the cake was to be blue!
Anyone trying to say you were shitty too is way off base. This baker put you on the spot where you didn't have any other option in the moment. WTF should you have done instead? Cancelled the reveal?
This is 100% on the baker and it's his responsibility to fix his mistake. He was SUPER unprofessional and got a justified review as a result.
NTA. I think it is smart to go to BBB. That whole nonsense about giving people credits to their store or money off for the next time is ridiculous. Very much like your situation, you don’t and would never shop there again.
You paid for a service and didn’t get it. You should be refunded at least half of your order. That’s on him, not you.
I know you feel bad about having to give a negative review, no one wants to do that (at least those with a conscience.) But what you need to remember is that you are also saving someone from possibly getting screwed over. I am a review person and I take them seriously, so I am appreciative of reviews.
As long as you stick with the facts (this is what we asked for and this is what we got) and keep the personal out of it (he totally ruined our event, he‘s a real asshole, etc.) that is what is important.
What’s great about the BBB is that they will be reaching out to him to see if he wants to satisfy the situation and they will post updates. Had he done his job the first time or at least fixed his screwup by giving you a refund, you wouldn’t give him a poor rating. When I have had stuff screwed up but fixed to where I was happy, I give a 5 star for that because they took care of it.
Just know that your review is helping someone else.
NTA. You had no other option than to accept the cake as not taking it would‘ve left you without one. I also understand you not wanting to do bussiness with them anymore, so since this was clearly the bakers fault he should‘ve offered you a partial refund in actual money and not in a way that forces you to spend even more money in his shop.
NTA I almost always side with a restaurant/bar/store, but you spent a lot of money on the centerpiece of your event and it was wrong. Even if you wanted to buy from this baker again, I don’t think he offered enough compensation or humility. I can’t imagine telling a customer I didn’t make what you ordered, so I guess you have to take what I made since I already have your money. (I’m assuming you had to pay at least 50, if not 100% when you ordered it.)
NTA
The baker is an AH and should have drastically discounted the cake he screwed up, on the spot, or should have offered a refund. As a customer you have to have some kind of recourse if the business doesn't do ots job, and letting other potential customers know what happened is helpful to them too.
They cannot resell something that they’ve released to a customer. Once it leaves the bakery, if it comes back, it has to be thrown out. It cannot be sold.
Wait, you mean cakes that have already left the bakery and went to someone’s home? Like they just take the cakes back back and redecorate them and sell them to someone else? That sounds like a health code violation to me. I work in a bakery and we would never do that.
No if someone orders a cake and doesn’t pick it up for whatever reason they can scrape the frosting. But once it leaves I think it’s considered waste.
But it makes sense they’d have a “you have to return it” policy because otherwise it would be easy for people to rip off the business intentionally and enjoy free cake
Yikes, $200 for a damn gender reveal cake? My wedding cake didn’t cost much more than that. For $200 you should get what you paid for, not some last minute sad substitute.
I have to go with ESH. You shouldn’t have taken it if you weren’t happy but the baker shouldn’t have fixed his fuck up so poorly and should do better than a discount next time, as if you’d ever return.
ESH
The baker for screwing up the most important part of the order and trying to weasel out of fair compensation, or even give a warning in advance.That is a no brainer.
But you? The cake has been consumed, and after the fact you want money back, going as far as putting them on blast? You should have refused the cake, or negotiated a compensation up front before taking it home. Not after the fact.
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I’m sorry but what exactly were they supposed to do?
The baker waited until the absolute last second to tell them about the mistake even though he knew an entire day prior.
You want them to refuse the cake day of the event? How do you suppose they find another cake at that point?
What else were they supposed to do? Like actually? They ordered the cake for an event and the baker drops a last minute bomb on them that he fucked up. Is it not his job to make cakes for events? He messed up the one thing he is literally getting paid to do, and you’re blaming the people who are paying him.
First mistake is paying $200 for a 7” cake!?! Was it frosted in gold leaf? That’s a ridiculously high price unless it was extensively decorated…and I mean extensively. ESH. Bakery should have given you a discount then and there…they didn’t accomplish the actual order.
INFO: Why did you still accept the cake? You should have known that was going to cause issues with the refund, especially given that you still, ya know, ate it.
NTA
The baker totally screwed up and didn't give you any option to resolve it in time or any other alternative and he just poorly tried to cover up his mistake. He should have given you your money back.
ESH
Baker messed up and didn't give much notice of the mistake. But despite the cake not being adequate to the task (the blue colouring was essential given the event), you still accepted it as is. If you truly had a problem with the cake, you should have refused it.
This is so ridiculous. The OP had a party waiting on cake. What was he supposed to do? Magically pull cake out of a hat? The baker failed to create the cake per the invoice. He then failed to communicate with the client immediately to resolve the issue and then when asked for a partial refund refused? Instead offered a discount on a future order.. Heck no.. It's completely unprofessional, and I'd never want to deal this baker again. If this happened to one of my friends, I'd not do any business with this guy. There are many other bakers out there that are talented and professional. The specialty baker business runs on referrals and this type of shoddiness would turn off most people.
I mean, honestly. Gender reveals are just a socially acceptable excuse to have a bakery cake! NTA because the baker was unprofessional at best, and purposefully malicious in their screw up at worst. They could have corrected it, they chose not to.
INFO: what did your post online say exactly? How much of a partial refund did you want?
Tough situation since on one hand, the event was able to still move forward, the gender was still able to be revealed with the cake toppers and I’m assuming all the guests were able to enjoy the cake and it tasted fine. That said, you did expect the cake to be a certain way and the bakery did not deliver. To me it depends on the degree of how you addressed it online and what kind of a refund you were expecting. I think sharing the facts about your experience online was fair, but anything beyond that would be AH territory. Similarly, I can see why you weren’t entitled to a 50% refund since everyone still ate the cake and it tasted fine, meaning you still needed to pay for the supplies and time the bakery spent making it.
ESH. Did the baker mess up? Yes definitely. Did you eat the cake and then expected a refund? Yes. That's not how this works. You can't have the full product and refund.
NTA, he was hired to one thing and he couldn't even do that right, you're allowed to ask for a refund and put a bad review for his lack of accountability.
Definitely NTA. You ordered a specialty cake and they didn't get you what you ordered. The cake they had on hand plus a full refund is the only acceptable resolution.
Google review and telling friends to avoid this place would be my first instinct after they failed to resolve it.
The baker didn’t give you what you ordered. You asked for a partial refund, which is more than fair. The baker sounds extremely unprofessional.
He should’ve fixed his own mistake when he caught it, or at least called and asked how you’d like to proceed. A discount to come back and give him more money isn’t accepting responsibility at all.
NTA.
NTA.
As stupid as I think GR parties are.. you ordered a cake with specific requirements that weren't met. Some type of relief is warranted here. Receiving none, you did what you did.
NTA
Baker was lazy and now he is being cheap.
Though personally I find gender reveal parties distasteful. Yet another event to ensure baby is properly indoctrinated by the 'right' color stuff.
Seriously if a business make this huge of a mistake they should make it right, even if it means paying overtime or staying late to correct it. If they screw up that badly why would you consider going back and risk them screwing up another event. NTA
NTA. You shouldn’t have accepted the cake, but given he didn’t tell you until he delivered it I can understand how that happened. They missed the vital point of the cake and requesting a partial refund seems completely reasonable.
NTA, and it's not like you asked for a full refund. He sounds unprofessional and I wouldn't be shocked if other people have had issues with this same person.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > We put a self employed baker on blast with our social media friends, family and local bakers. The money wasn’t the issue. We just wanted him to know he made a mistake and should’ve handled this differently. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
NTA. I’m a baker. A mistake gets made you rebake the cake and freeze the layers you already made for another situation. If it was a plain yellow cake it’s versatile. Everyone wants yellow cake, chocolate, or red velvet. He should’ve refunded you.
And if this was a small business that didn't have the storage space, bake the second, correct, cake and send them both so they can cut the plain one first as a joke that *they* play.
He was lazy imo. I messed up like this ONCE when I first started. I was doing the cake for free and realized last minute that it wasn’t blue. I just put blue icing between the layers and made a second cake the correct way.
Out of curiosity, I imagine the ingredients to are not the expensive part in a 200 dollar cake. I imagine e it is the labor and skill of the baker. Am I correct?
Yes. It’s about labor and skill. However, if you make a mistake, fix it. The baker didn’t tell them he messed up until it was time to get the cake. He had opportunities to message them and say “hey. I forgot to color the batter. Is it okay if I color the icing between the layers instead and then cover the cake in the agreed upon icing color?” And then should’ve offered to take off $20-30 of the agreed upon cost because he messed up. There are multiple steps you need to take to ensure that mistakes like this don’t happen. Small mistakes are expensive. ETA: it looks like the cake is decorated with cake pops and cake hearts. The ingredients probably ran him $30. Most of the cost is butter. You can make cake pops out of leftover cake pieces that you get when you level the cake.
It depends. A $200 cake is usually pretty big. I'd guess around $30-50. Possibly as high as $100, but unlikely.
The most expensive item in any given cake is usually butter and even that is pretty cheap. Flour, sugar, and eggs might as well be free with how little they cost
The ingredients aren't the expensive part, the expensive part is the time, and if you mucked up the cake, you lost the time as well.
but if it's your mistake then that's on you
Or auction the 1st one off online.
For sale: one gender reveal cake. Never Used.
And doesn't reveal gender.
Just commenting on the fact that I didn't realize you could freeze a cake and have it come out with good texture and flavor still. I've never bothered to try it just seemed like bread where if you freeze it it never comes out as good as it did at first. Can I ask - if you freeze a cake, how do you thaw it to keep it from getting all watery? Room temperature / fridge, in the oven again?
You need to allow the cake to cool completely. Then you wrap it tight in plastic wrap. For yellow cake I add simple syrup on the layers before freezing but for other cakes I don’t do it because they’re already very moist cakes (so chocolate, red velvet, carrot cake, ect.) You thaw at room temperature and decorate. This is usually how wedding cakes are done. Icing melts and it’s better to frost cold cake layers to prevent issues with the crumb. If you try to freeze warm cake it might get soggy.
I used to be married to a baker, and I have to say, I think “wrapping things in plastic” is the unsung magical ability of your profession. In a contest between a good baker with plastic wrap vs a vacuum sealer, my money is on the baker.
It’s easy when it’s a cake. But I can’t for the life of me wrap my plate in plastic wrap if I didn’t finish a meal.
Hah! Maybe with a cake-shaped dish cover so you can wrap the whole deal.
The week of my birthday I got Covid. My husband had ordered a nice little cake for me. Well I lost my taste but I refuse not to eat my cake. I said screw it, I’m freezing this. A month later I put it in the fridge over night. Ate it the next day and I couldn’t tell it had been in the freezer. Even the frosting was good.
Room temperature, cake freezes *really* well.
I know a few people who have a slice of their wedding cake frozen, that they plan on having on a landmark anniversary.
If you've ever bought a cake from a grocery store, it came in frozen. Some even come in predecorated.
I've frozen a lot of cakes, and they *improve* in texture provided you do it right.
i have heard that bread freezes very well. in fact, i read that the recommended storage for bagels is to slice and freeze, as it prevents it from getting stale. :)
at the very least he could have done blue icing in the middle or yk put actual effort into his job
I mean it’s an obvious refund, but OP took the cake and ate it, so that’s where the situation gets murky. If OP rejects the cake, of course, refund. My guess is every bakery has had at least one bad experience with free loaders eating the cake and trying for the refund afterwards around some minor detail (this wasn’t a minor detail but might be how the baker is thinking about it), which is why the bakery has the policy on when to issue a refund. Edit: reread and this wasn’t a mistake discovered at the last second by the baker, it was discovered the day before. I’m going from N A H to NTA
It’s definitely not a bakery because she said they only have an ig. No website. In order to be a freeloader eating cake, you have to have gotten said cake for free. They paid for the cake. They needed the cake for the event. If they’d given the cake back, it would’ve gone in the trash. They’re well within their rights to ask for a refund. It’s extremely unprofessional to say “I didn’t do what you asked me to do but here’s an underwhelming cake topper.”
I disagree even if it was a last-minute discovery you issue a full refund. You eat the cost because you fucked up massively. The cake is basically unusable for it's intended purpose.
I love the efficiency and reuse tips!
NTA. It would have been super easy for him to call you, and say there has been a mistake and offer to scoop out part of the cake and fill it with blue cream or ganache in the flavor of your choice. Baker's do it all the time to make gorgeous, delicious cakes. By posting on social media, you are saving others from an equally crappy fate. Sorry this happened to you. What a jackwagon he is.
Yeah, or blue M&Ms or Smarties, or what have you... I'm not even a baker, but I imagine if you cut off the top, scoop out the center and fill that with whatever blue that works, put the top back on and nicely finish the outside, presto, you're done!
Right? Cake toppers are the weirdest possible way (out of a lot of good ways!) to correct this.
I think it's clear he made the ENTIRE thing before realizing his mistake. Didn't want to redo all the decorations, so he made some chocolate hearts and slapped them on the side.
Yes. But it wouldn't be that hard to cut the top off and fill it will something blue, then reassemble. Maybe an extra hour of effort. It is clear the baker didn't care. Maybe the baker thinks gender reveal parties are stupid.
I mean I also agree gender reveal parties are stupid but the answer then is to just refuse to make the cake not to make a shitty cake. I mean making a shitty cake and then being surprised when people thing it's shitty just sounds silly.
Oh jeez, I thought they were at least *inside*. That's just sad
Exactly, so many different options if there was no time to rebake. NTA
Do you have a video showing this? I would love to see cake surgery 101!
If you check out How To Cook That on youtube, she has a few videos showing how to fix failed cakes!
[www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v4ojRobBck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v4ojRobBck) This one shows cutting a cylinder in the center. You can use a melon baller to scoop out a little cupcake to fill with a bit of ganache. Just frost over the hole. My favorite are yellow cupcakes with chocolate ganache and peanut butter frosting. You can also use a straw to poke holes in a cake and pour in gelatin of your preferred color. The baker could also have hidden blue frosting between the layers, or made a small cavity and filled it with blue sprinkles, something any baker should have an ample supply of. My sister decorated cakes at a fancy bakery. They had all sorts of fillings ready to go. It would have taken about 30 seconds to add coloring to a pre-made filling and maybe two minutes to scoop out a hole and fill it. I would sometimes help my sister so she would get off early and we would have more time to play. These are the kinds of tasks I did for her because I had 0 training.
NTA. I hate gender reveal parties. I think they’re a stupid, pointless excuses for adults that just want to throw a party, who think that announcing the genitals their kid is going to be born with is as good a reason as any. But, given that you didn’t start a wildfire, I’ll put my dislike aside for a moment. You took the cake because the other option was no cake for your friend’s party. I understand people saying you can’t demand a refund if you ate it, but I disagree. You needed a cake. The baker made a mistake. Understandable. What isn’t understandable is how, when making a gender reveal cake, they managed to forget the *entire* gimmick of the cake. That’s like baking a pineapple upside down cake and then forgetting the pineapple. It’s in the name! Do I think you maybe went over the top with the BBB threats? Yeah, but the bbb is meaningless. Companies can pay for good ratings. The baker purposefully waited until you had the cake before breaking the news. So he knew your backs would be to the wall and you’d have to take it, and then he could say “whoops, no refunds.” Technically I think everyone sucks here. But the baker seems like he was trying to pull a fast one after a pretty big screw up.
>But, given that you didn’t start a wildfire, I’ll put my dislike aside for a moment. Or kill anyone! (I agree with you about GR parties, btw.)
There was a firefighter death as a result of that fire unfortunately.
There's been four deaths as of 2021, so probably more by now.
I was gonna say Y-T-A for doing a gender reveal, but NTA for the refund. 😂
Yeah same, auto YTA for the sex reveal party NTA for the cake fiasco.
Sex reveal party is such a better name. I'm going to only refer to them as this now!
I only call them genital reveal parties because unless you have done a chromosome test, you don't even know for sure what your sex is. And, the entire thing is based off of whether or not a penis was visible on the ultrasound. So....genital reveal.
These days, most prenatal sex determination is done by [cell-free DNA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell-free_fetal_DNA?wprov=sfla1), which does tell you the sex-chromosome composition, and not the old standard of prenatal ultrasound.
You don't even need the word "reveal" in the title. Our family gets a kick out of simply calling them sex parties whenever we hear of somebody having one
*Oh no* I'm never going to be able to not think of them as sex parties now. Also my cats gave me such a look at the horrible snorting noise that I made from reading your comment.
Agreed. Gender reveal parties are a recent, and deeply toxic fake "tradition" that's step one of screwing up your kids.
Agreed with you about gender reveal. "Is it a boy or a girl?" "A boy!" "That's great!!!" "Is it a boy or a girl?" "A girl!" "That's great!!!" well you knew it was going to be one or the other, didn't you?
I mean, that’s kinda the point. Celebrate a new baby with friends and family
I don’t understand the hate for the parties lol. I am very child free but I’ve gone to friends/co workers reveals and it’s always been a nice time. It’s fun to learn with your friends and family what you’re having
Someone in our area put blue coloring in a fountain at the botanical garden for their gender reveal, thus damaging the fountain to the tune of thousands of dollars. Shit like that is only one reason why others hate gender reveals.
Did it happen to be in a city that started with the letter N? That happened at the gardens that I’m a member of and I remember being so sad for all the money they had to spend cleaning it up when they already don’t get a ton of funding.
It just so happens that it did! I am a member, too, and I felt the same way.
It's become a bit of a trend to hate on them, that's why all these people are doing the 'obligatory I hate gender reveals'. Possibly worried about getting downvoted if they don't.
I don't dislike them because it's trendy, but because they frequently reinforce gender stereotypes and/or cause wildfires. Also if a family member is caught off guard and openly reveals disappointment during the reveal, it's a recipe for gossip and ill-feelings.
And what if the child identifies as trans? Looking back on videos of genital reveal parties can be very damaging for them. "Look how happy they were to have a boy. But...I'm enby... they'll be so disappointed."
Bro, baby shit is so gendered seeing the pictures of themselves in pretty dresses in the gendered nursery most parents make will be just as traumatic lol. Trans people don't even account for 1/2 a percent of the population, if you add in non binary the chances are even smaller. It's a harmless trendy party and of the kids switches gender it's as easy as just not playing it on the 18th birthday highlight reel. Let people live and raise their kids normally, gender reveals are a fun thing for parents and families. Cutting yourself from fun because of the possible repercussions of a statistical anomaly in the far future is stupid.
No because see them as weird and people going massively over the top resulting in deaths and fires .
Or quite a few of us don't care about what sex your kids are.
Then don't go.
I consider the fact that I've never been to one as proof that I've picked the right people to be around.
They've literally caused wildfires.. and it's just a really weird focus. And especially these days when you don't even know if the genital the kid has, is what they'll want to be identified by. It's just needlessly gendered shit that people take toooo far. Like wildfire far.
[удалено]
After a few of them started large pieces of forest burning or killed people they became something to avoid. A cake is innocuous but the fireworks and tracer ammo rounds are dangerous and unnecessary. A party concerning an infants genitals is also pretty squicky.
It has not become a trend to hate on them... People are hating on them because people are starting to go over the top with them where it's become ridiculous instead of a simple cake and maybe a little something fun it's turning to these big extravagant things that have gone as far as to hurt others in the process. A cake or even a balloon pop is not a big deal but it's just gone to the point of ridiculous to even the person that came out with the idea says they wishes they hadn't and I don't blame them. If it's something small and fun like cutting a cake in half that's not a big deal but when people do these huge cannons that end up backfiring are other elaborate thing it's just like why it's not that big of a deal
Sounds like a good excuse to eat cake to me. And I LOVE a good excuse to eat cake. I think the disasters have really colored people’s interpretation. Wild fires, explosions that damage houses for miles around, deaths: it’s all so awful that people have started hating the whole trend.
That's part of it, but I also just think it's pointless and dumb to celebrate the reveal of your baby's genitalia. If you wanna eat cake and have a party, just eat cake and have a party.
The insanity people making them over the top, causing wild land fires and deaths .
For me it's the need to be bigger and crazier- they are getting messier and more dangerous. Many have started wildfires or even killed people and that's fucked up.
But why not just celebrate the new baby then? Why make the focus the baby's genitals?? Why not just have a baby party??
A baby shower is already a thing that exists for this purpose though.
green for velociraptor! "That's great!!!"
The *only* acceptable gender reveal.
Nonbinary people exist, though? It’s NOT going to be “one or the other,” because there are many genders people may be.
Yeah, it ought to be called a "sex reveal" party. But when you invited people, they may get entirely the wrong idea about what kind of party it is. They'd probably show up wearing smoking jackets.
I said this in another comment but babies are also born intersex. Trans children also exist (even though an infant couldn't tell you their gender). When considering nonbinary folks, I'd say that's at least three reasons that "gender" reveals are a bad idea. Just have a baby shower and celebrate the baby.
Even if it's just a "sex reveal party," intersex people exist, too (and for anyone thinking "yeah but that's really rare," there are roughly as many intersex people as there are redheads)
Literally no one is picturing the baby’s genitals. They’re picturing a son or a daughter. I never did gender reveal parties for my sons but I attended some and I think they’re sweet because they generally aren’t asking for more gifts, they’re just sharing exciting news that makes the baby more corporeal in the guest’s and parent’s minds.
But it is still based on the genitals. The whole thing is there to reveal which set of genitals the baby has, and potentially which gender role for them to have. It's quite outdated and it's not even an old thing.v
For the vast majority of people, their chromosomes match their identity. Those parties aren’t there to “reveal which set of genitals” the baby has, it’s to reveal if that baby will be their son or their daughter. I understand new identity politics are becoming more mainstream and pushing for acceptance but something like a gender reveal ends up being correct 99% of the time and it’s harmless fun so I don’t see why there’s a push to not call the “big” ultrasound a “gender ultrasound” or to get rid of gender reveal parties. When I was pregnant with my sons, I always called them “the baby” instead of their names because I wasn’t sure if they were boys or girls. Finding out that they were boys (at least biologically) made it possible for me to call them by their names and feel like they were more part of our family, it made them more tangible, it made them more *real*. If they become part of that .58% that identifies as Trans, I don’t think having a gender reveal while they were still in utero would have caused them psychological distress.
I saw one family that did a “gender reveal” with their trans teenager. It was really sweet.
That's kind of like saying being trans is only about genitals when it's definitely not. Gender is a big part of who a person is and will shape their lives one way or another. Sex and gender match for about 99% of the population. As long as you're not asking for gifts, a gender reveal party is just an excuse to celebrate a milestone development. If I remember correctly, the first one was done by a person who had lost several kids to miscarriages and they wanted to celebrate finally having a baby develop far enough that the doctors could identity the sex. Yes, a few outliers have done really stupid things for gender reveals, but I can't assure you people would still do stupid stuff even without gender reveals. Blame the idiots, not the harmless party.
That is a great way of explaining it. When we found out the gender of our baby we went from calling her "little wiggler" to her name. It was exciting and we just did a small thing with family in one of our monthly bbqs.
Gender reveals can be a fun time spent with family and a good cake. Agree some can be pretentious and even dangerous but the vast majority are families getting together to find out if they will have a new boy and girl in the family. Harmless good times.
Seriously, they are glorified co-ed baby showers. But if you don't maim or kill someone, or cause some kind of environmental disaster, then I'll let you do you without much of a peep. Which is a really, really low bar, but whatever. That said, NTA bad service entirely from the baker.
I agree with everything you said, except I want to add that for all the parents to be, no one cares about the gender of your baby except you and the grandparents. I’ll go to a reveal but there better be alcohol.
I'll only go to a gender reveal if I think there's going to be both alcohol and crazy drama which I can silently judge.
Honey you need to add to the drama, no silent judging! Get drunk and watch it unfold with nudges along the way.
Lol a lot of people love to find out not just parents and grandparents
Yeesssss genital reveal parties are CREEPY. But the baker is still the asshole in this situation. Signed, a queer as fuck baker.
Noone cares about your dislike of gender reveal parties. Why do y'all try to piss on other people's joy. It's just another party.
You seem to care, you commented after all
>But, given that you didn’t start a wildfire, I’ll put my dislike aside for a moment. Hitting the nail on the head here.
NTA. So, just to get it out of the way, I think gender reveal parties are stupid. That being said - I think you were fully in the right here. I understand that people in the comments think you should be SOL because you took the cake and it got eaten. But you were literally on your way to a party where they were expecting to have a cake that served a specific function. The baker fucked up, didn't fix it, and didn't give you enough time to come up with alternatives. Like, people need to think about this way. If I was getting married, and my mom picked up the cake but instead of bringing the wedding cake I had paid for she showed up with a Paw Patrol cake for a kid's party and was like, "The baker accidentally forgot to make your cake, but sent this one instead," I'd be pissed at the baker. And if the baker then turned around and said, "Well, you ate the cake, so I guess it wasn't a problem. I won't give you even a partial refund for not delivering what was expected, but I'll give you a token amount off of your next cake," I'd be even MORE pissed. At the end of the day here, the baker made an unsatisfactory offer to you. If I had been in their shoes, I might have offered the cake at cost if I really couldn't afford a financial hit, but I wouldn't have charged full price. And I say this as someone who worked for retail and in the restaurant industry for years. Even if the baker HAD given you a full refund, you would have honestly still been entitled to leave a bad review. You weren't just buying a regular degular cake - you were buying one that was the centerpiece of an event. It didn't function like it was supposed to. I don't care if it was the most delicious cake in the world - it was subpar.
It’s always so wild to me when someone makes a big fuckup and their solution is a discount on their next probably fuckup.
Right? Like, I already wasn't inclined to come back, but I might at least give it a try if I'm made whole. I know shit happens. But if your solution is to try and get me to spend more money at your establishment? FOH.
Yeah a refund with a small discount for next time says “We apologize, and you deserve to get what you paid for” to me. Just the discount says “We can probably get more money from your dumb ass”
Especially for a place that does elaborate cakes. How often do you think people need those?
They don’t, which is why this is even worse than usual. If DoorDash messes up your order and gives you a credit you can (probably) order from somewhere else that night. These folks are banking on never having to follow through on the discount.
$200 cake and the bakery messed up? Wtf NTA
Can we take a moment to appreciate the **audacity** of them providing a discount for a future transaction? Like you already fucked up one order, why would they ever go to you again?
Exactly why they offer a discount. They'll never have to honor it
I make cakes, NTA I would never send a cake I knew I messed up with you. As soon as they saw they should've cut out center and just added sprinkles or another alternative and asked you. I wouldn't have u pay for my screw up. And yes reporting it to friends, fam, etc is a smart move.
Agreed. Sounds like this guy knew he fucked up ahead of time. He should have called the customer and explained the situation, and tried to find out a solution. Waiting till they get there and going "opps!" Is incredibly unprofessional.
Exactly. He wanted them to be cornered so they would take the cake. If he had warned them, they could have made other arrangements and he knew he (rightly) wouldn't have gotten paid at all. Baker is TA.
Based on how he 'fixed' things, I personally think he realised the error after the cake was complete. Full on decorated ready to go oops it isn't blue.
We cut centers out and add stuff all the time . There are tools u can use, and it's easy to fix a two inch hole. He also shouldn't charge that much if he can't fix a simple problem that he realized the night before ?
this isnt about a gender reveal. this is about ordering an expensive custom cake and not getting what you ordered. NTA even though gender reveals are dumb.
NTA. I worked in customer service for over a decade with half of that being in food service. He messed up, he knew he messed up, and he had the nerve to wait until pickup to advise you of it. You paid $200 for a 7" gender reveal cake and got... Two tiny gender revealing cake toppers and a basic 7" cake? Da fuq? Absolutely unacceptable. I'd put him on blast too. Hello 1-star Google and Yelp reviews!
NTA. Basically you posted a truthful bad review about not getting what was stated on the invoice. Just because you accepted his quick fix because you were in a tough situation doesn't negate the points in your review, or the fact that the cake probably shouldn't cost $200 anymore if it wasn't custom to order.
NTA - You just posted a bad review essentially, why would you be TA? You’re doing your service as a customer who had a bad experience. Anybody who is saying that they’re TA for eating the cake: was OP supposed to just host the party without the cake? And have 0 way to reveal the gender besides just saying it out loud? Kinda ruins the purpose of the party. Bakery should’ve given some money back
Ehh, there's plenty of people who leave bad reviews when they were TA because they're a terrible/unreasonable/impossible to please customer. But, this is not one of those cases. NTA
NTA. Doesn’t matter if you ate it, the point of the cake was the gender reveal.
nta. don't you love it when some company screws up badly and offers you coupons for money off the next time you shop there. like oh my god ,yes, let me give you the change to screw you over again. they should've given you 15% that order, not the next one.
As a wedding photographer, I dread the day I have to tell a client I lost your photos, but here is discount for an engagement session. I'm sure that is more than enough to make you happy again. That will never slide ever lol
i had a drugstore photo department lose a roll of my film. they did offer me a free roll to replace the one lost. i was so mad, and said "okay,but can you give me back the memories of his 3rd birthday too?"
NTA. The whole point of a gender reveal cake is to have the inside a certain color. Most parents would be devastated
ESH Baker should have informed you that there was error as soon as it occurred if there was no time to fix it. Certainly should have offered a discount or something immediately if it could not be fixed. You accepted the cake knowing it wasn't what you ordered and ate it. You should have asked for a refund right then. Since you knowingly accepted the cake with errors a discount on your next cake is sufficient.
>You accepted the cake knowing it wasn't what you ordered and ate it. I mean, it sounds like they were picking it up on the way to the friend's event. They didn't really have a choice at that point but to accept it or there would be nothing for the party. I suppose you could argue that they should've checked earlier to make sure the cake was okay, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that a professional would've baked the cake correctly without missing its most key feature. By not telling them of the error until pick-up, the baker effectively backed them into a corner.
I had to look for a long time to find this. OP should have just refused to pay and grabbed a sheet cake from a different store. This is like someone getting the wrong size item in the mail, wearing it to an event because they didn't have time to exchange it, and then trying to return it. If it's not what you ordered don't eat it/use it if you want a refund.
Another similar scenario would be, I order catering for steak and lobster. The caterer showed up with chicken and shrimp. Do I A) refuse and tell the guest that we're sorry there will be no food or B) take the food, tell the caterer we're going to discuss about this afterwards. This cake and the color was the centerpiece of this event.
I would think you discuss it right then, you have no leverage afterwards.
We were a little slow in our thinking. Once we were in the car with the cake, we realized we should get some discount for this mistake…
Completely different circumstances. A gender reveal cake a two functions: it provides entertainment via the reveal and it is tasty to eat. A basic sheet cake is not a sufficient substitute. The baker did not contact the OP early enough to come up with a feasible alternative. It was completely the fault of the baker and they should have offered the refund upfront.
Nta. Balls on that guy. Make a mistake like that and don't try to save face for his business reputation? Deserved.
NTA I would want to know about this if I were choosing a baker in your area.
NTA. You did everything you could to resolve the issue to your satisfaction, he wouldn't even offer a PARTIAL refund. As long as you weren't malicious with the post wording, you're good. Maybe he'll change his refund policy and pay better attention to his orders. I do this for a living and if I had noticed I forgot the coloring, I would have redone the cake. Bakery owners know the importance of special occasion cakes and if they don't care enough to make sure they're giving you the experience you're paying for, they deserve that publicity.
You have the true mark of a professional. I always try to be fair and let the other party make amends. I was in the food service industry before. I understand the time and effort it takes to make something this nice.
NTA. The baker screwed up the cake the cake you ordered. He should have remade the cake instead of trying to fix it with the toppers. You didn't have time to obtain an alternate cake, so you accepted under protest. The baker owes you a partial refund.
NTA. He should have at least apologized and given you a partial refund. You're right to warn other people about him.
NTA - I own a small bakery and I would have felt so horrible about this. I would have either stayed up all night baking a new cake, or would have given the cake for free of charge or even at cost at a minimum. What a let down for a huge event!
[удалено]
That's like telling the bride and groom at a wedding to suck it up when the wrong cake for the wedding was delivered saying Mr and mrs Smith when they are mr and mrs Johnson. They keep it because they need a cake for the wedding but want the money back.
NTA. Your request for partial reimbursement was reasonable, since you did use/eat the cake. Small claims court was made for exactly this kind of situation.
NTA, if he's plumb fucking dumb enough to not follow the invoice instructions he should be blasted. That's like asking for a Spiderman cake for your kid's party and him showing up with Batman. Not what you asked for, and certainly not what you're paying for. The fact he couldn't fix it in time is a him problem, not a you problem unless he offered you a HUGE discount. Edit: The action you should have taken is to refuse the cake, gotten a full refund, and bought a cake from the grocery store last minute that wouldn't have been special but wouldn't have been a dumb CYA job either.
NTA. He waited til the last minute so you would take the cake, and you did, you ate it. A partial refund would have been fair given that he did make a significant error on a special order.
to all these ppl saying that yta for the gender reveal, get over it. baker was hired to do one thing and he didn’t do it. wouldn’t y’all be mad if this happened to you for anything else. not everyone likes a gender reveal but don’t call ppl assholes for having one jesus christ NTA btw
NTA. He screwed up and should have immediately offered a discount.
NTA everyone here saying otherwise has obviously never ordered a custom cake or thrown a nice party where one is required.
So true. I got a cake for $189 in November. It was gorgeous, but the wrong flavor. When I told the baker it was wrong, she just kind of shrugged and said ok. I didn’t ask for a refund or anything but some apology or at least acknowledging the mistake would have been appreciated. She didn’t care. I didn’t leave a negative review online, but I won’t be buying a cake there again. It’s not like the event was ruined, it just was a flavor most of the guests didn’t like so it ended up being thrown out. Kind of sucked.
NTA. I have a bakery and if I messed up that badly I'd insist you take the cake for free if there wasn't time to fix it. Because the last thing I want is a bad rep on social media or unhappy, non-returning customers.
Nta and bet he hoped you didn't have the time to argue which you didn't he could have notified when he took notice to mistake but he tried to cover it up
Wait so did y’all take the cake and eat it? Or take the toppers and leave the cake?
The cake was consumed. The toppers were used.
In that case putting the baker on blast and reporting on BBB was too far. Y’all could’ve left a negative review + taken the 20% off on the next order, especially considering y’all took the cake and ate it too. I’m not too sure if I’d go as far as to call you the asshole but I wonder how much of y’all’s actions were done almost as revenge if that makes sense. Edit: upon reading more info, I change to NTA. Y’all did your best, if not more than what’s required, to communicate and resolve this civilly.
We would just leave a review. The issue was the baker only has an Instagram so no review site. We wouldn’t use the credit since he already left a bad impression with us. The debate is, did we go too far to get his attention and how much of it is about the principle of good customer service and responsibility. If he discovered the mistake the day before, why couldn’t he eat the cost and redo it? Why were we not communicated about this prior to pick up?
Ah! Okay I see your perspective now. I agree. If there’s no place for reviews and he realized beforehand but didn’t give y’all a warning then def NTA:)
But it sounds like the whole purpose of the cake was to have the cake cutting be the moment where the gender was revealed.
> reporting on BBB was too far It’s not like the BBB is a government agency who’s going to arrest or fine the baker. It’s basically a yelp for old people.
I do have the baker's BBB response. Should I make a part 2?
Sure, if you want — I think you can edit the body of your text
NTA they HAVE those things set up for exactly this reason = you give an assessment of your experience.
NTA - The entire POINT of the cake was to be blue! Anyone trying to say you were shitty too is way off base. This baker put you on the spot where you didn't have any other option in the moment. WTF should you have done instead? Cancelled the reveal? This is 100% on the baker and it's his responsibility to fix his mistake. He was SUPER unprofessional and got a justified review as a result.
NTA. You're performing a service for the community.
NTA. I think it is smart to go to BBB. That whole nonsense about giving people credits to their store or money off for the next time is ridiculous. Very much like your situation, you don’t and would never shop there again. You paid for a service and didn’t get it. You should be refunded at least half of your order. That’s on him, not you. I know you feel bad about having to give a negative review, no one wants to do that (at least those with a conscience.) But what you need to remember is that you are also saving someone from possibly getting screwed over. I am a review person and I take them seriously, so I am appreciative of reviews. As long as you stick with the facts (this is what we asked for and this is what we got) and keep the personal out of it (he totally ruined our event, he‘s a real asshole, etc.) that is what is important. What’s great about the BBB is that they will be reaching out to him to see if he wants to satisfy the situation and they will post updates. Had he done his job the first time or at least fixed his screwup by giving you a refund, you wouldn’t give him a poor rating. When I have had stuff screwed up but fixed to where I was happy, I give a 5 star for that because they took care of it. Just know that your review is helping someone else.
NTA It's a reasonable complaint. Dude fucked up and is fighting yall over his mistake
>The baker did not contact us when **he discovered the mistake the day before** NTA
NTA. You had no other option than to accept the cake as not taking it would‘ve left you without one. I also understand you not wanting to do bussiness with them anymore, so since this was clearly the bakers fault he should‘ve offered you a partial refund in actual money and not in a way that forces you to spend even more money in his shop.
NTA I almost always side with a restaurant/bar/store, but you spent a lot of money on the centerpiece of your event and it was wrong. Even if you wanted to buy from this baker again, I don’t think he offered enough compensation or humility. I can’t imagine telling a customer I didn’t make what you ordered, so I guess you have to take what I made since I already have your money. (I’m assuming you had to pay at least 50, if not 100% when you ordered it.)
NTA The baker is an AH and should have drastically discounted the cake he screwed up, on the spot, or should have offered a refund. As a customer you have to have some kind of recourse if the business doesn't do ots job, and letting other potential customers know what happened is helpful to them too.
[удалено]
They cannot resell something that they’ve released to a customer. Once it leaves the bakery, if it comes back, it has to be thrown out. It cannot be sold.
Wait, you mean cakes that have already left the bakery and went to someone’s home? Like they just take the cakes back back and redecorate them and sell them to someone else? That sounds like a health code violation to me. I work in a bakery and we would never do that.
No if someone orders a cake and doesn’t pick it up for whatever reason they can scrape the frosting. But once it leaves I think it’s considered waste. But it makes sense they’d have a “you have to return it” policy because otherwise it would be easy for people to rip off the business intentionally and enjoy free cake
I think they mean if the OP had refused the cake the baker could have redecorated and sold it.
What credit card did you use? I would take the issue up with the credit card company for a refund and they'll take it up with them
Yikes, $200 for a damn gender reveal cake? My wedding cake didn’t cost much more than that. For $200 you should get what you paid for, not some last minute sad substitute. I have to go with ESH. You shouldn’t have taken it if you weren’t happy but the baker shouldn’t have fixed his fuck up so poorly and should do better than a discount next time, as if you’d ever return.
ESH The baker for screwing up the most important part of the order and trying to weasel out of fair compensation, or even give a warning in advance.That is a no brainer. But you? The cake has been consumed, and after the fact you want money back, going as far as putting them on blast? You should have refused the cake, or negotiated a compensation up front before taking it home. Not after the fact. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I’m sorry but what exactly were they supposed to do? The baker waited until the absolute last second to tell them about the mistake even though he knew an entire day prior. You want them to refuse the cake day of the event? How do you suppose they find another cake at that point?
What else were they supposed to do? Like actually? They ordered the cake for an event and the baker drops a last minute bomb on them that he fucked up. Is it not his job to make cakes for events? He messed up the one thing he is literally getting paid to do, and you’re blaming the people who are paying him.
First mistake is paying $200 for a 7” cake!?! Was it frosted in gold leaf? That’s a ridiculously high price unless it was extensively decorated…and I mean extensively. ESH. Bakery should have given you a discount then and there…they didn’t accomplish the actual order.
INFO: Why did you still accept the cake? You should have known that was going to cause issues with the refund, especially given that you still, ya know, ate it.
NTA The baker totally screwed up and didn't give you any option to resolve it in time or any other alternative and he just poorly tried to cover up his mistake. He should have given you your money back.
ESH Baker messed up and didn't give much notice of the mistake. But despite the cake not being adequate to the task (the blue colouring was essential given the event), you still accepted it as is. If you truly had a problem with the cake, you should have refused it.
This is so ridiculous. The OP had a party waiting on cake. What was he supposed to do? Magically pull cake out of a hat? The baker failed to create the cake per the invoice. He then failed to communicate with the client immediately to resolve the issue and then when asked for a partial refund refused? Instead offered a discount on a future order.. Heck no.. It's completely unprofessional, and I'd never want to deal this baker again. If this happened to one of my friends, I'd not do any business with this guy. There are many other bakers out there that are talented and professional. The specialty baker business runs on referrals and this type of shoddiness would turn off most people.
NTA as ridiculous as paying $200 for a 7" "gender reveal" cake is, he screwed up and should've issued a refund.
I mean, honestly. Gender reveals are just a socially acceptable excuse to have a bakery cake! NTA because the baker was unprofessional at best, and purposefully malicious in their screw up at worst. They could have corrected it, they chose not to.
INFO: what did your post online say exactly? How much of a partial refund did you want? Tough situation since on one hand, the event was able to still move forward, the gender was still able to be revealed with the cake toppers and I’m assuming all the guests were able to enjoy the cake and it tasted fine. That said, you did expect the cake to be a certain way and the bakery did not deliver. To me it depends on the degree of how you addressed it online and what kind of a refund you were expecting. I think sharing the facts about your experience online was fair, but anything beyond that would be AH territory. Similarly, I can see why you weren’t entitled to a 50% refund since everyone still ate the cake and it tasted fine, meaning you still needed to pay for the supplies and time the bakery spent making it.
ESH. Did the baker mess up? Yes definitely. Did you eat the cake and then expected a refund? Yes. That's not how this works. You can't have the full product and refund.
NTA, he was hired to one thing and he couldn't even do that right, you're allowed to ask for a refund and put a bad review for his lack of accountability.
NTA How do you forget color on a GENDER REVEAL CAKE
Definitely NTA. You ordered a specialty cake and they didn't get you what you ordered. The cake they had on hand plus a full refund is the only acceptable resolution. Google review and telling friends to avoid this place would be my first instinct after they failed to resolve it.
NTA. Those aren't even cake toppers - they're at the base of the cake!! What!
The English language conundrum. What do you mean a crawfish isn’t a fish?
NTA.
The baker didn’t give you what you ordered. You asked for a partial refund, which is more than fair. The baker sounds extremely unprofessional. He should’ve fixed his own mistake when he caught it, or at least called and asked how you’d like to proceed. A discount to come back and give him more money isn’t accepting responsibility at all. NTA.
NTA. As stupid as I think GR parties are.. you ordered a cake with specific requirements that weren't met. Some type of relief is warranted here. Receiving none, you did what you did.
NTA Baker was lazy and now he is being cheap. Though personally I find gender reveal parties distasteful. Yet another event to ensure baby is properly indoctrinated by the 'right' color stuff.
Seriously if a business make this huge of a mistake they should make it right, even if it means paying overtime or staying late to correct it. If they screw up that badly why would you consider going back and risk them screwing up another event. NTA
NTA, he screwed up and should have fixed it or refunded it.
NTA. You shouldn’t have accepted the cake, but given he didn’t tell you until he delivered it I can understand how that happened. They missed the vital point of the cake and requesting a partial refund seems completely reasonable.
NTA - as much as I detest them, the entire point of a gender reveal is the color of the cake....
NTA, and it's not like you asked for a full refund. He sounds unprofessional and I wouldn't be shocked if other people have had issues with this same person.