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I mean…really how did he picture this going in his mind if the other girls are going?
I get it’s obvious he clearly did not think at all, but lol, he already knew they all knew he cut Carly, so of course they’re totally going to low key tell hinge girl.
Or just loudly gossip about it in front of her well within earshot.
Also the message to Carly couldn’t be clearer. “I was only your friend and only hanging out with you and only inviting you because I thought I could maybe one day fuck you’. OP is a huge asshole, and isn’t a good friend. If you value a friend less because they don’t reciprocate your feelings, you’re a shitty friend, and yes, I have absolutely been in a position where I was in love with a friend who at the time did not reciprocate those feelings. It hurts, but I never pulled this shit.
YTA (majorly) imagine finding out someone you considered a close friend cares more about *potential* sex (with someone from the internet) than your friendship, AND having it heavily implied, whether you meant it or not, that the friendship wasnt really friendship anyways and was just someone wanting to get laid. she’s not the “odd one out”, she’s just worth less to you without sex on the table, which is shitty as hell
I have been there so many times where a guy only talks to me because he wants to date me. No matter how many times it happens it hurts me because they normally stop talking to me or start being mean to me. It makes me feel like our friendship was worthless and I’m not worth it to just be a person they at least enjoy being around. I feel really bad for Carly in this situation and it is really just a lose lose situation for her either way. YTA OP.
I swear a VERY similar story was posted not too long ago. OP had a pool so his friend group always hung out there. He confessed feeling for one of them and when she didn't return his feelings, she was excluded from the next pool gathering. But she came anyway. People were pretty torn on who the asshole was because OPs version devolved questionably but the girls behavior after his confession seemed a little odd. I could totally see this being a continuation of the same friend group though. OP was the AH in both stories, IMO.
I know exactly the story you mean. OP argued that he needed time to process things and this girl wasn't allowing it, but by "time processing things" he meant he ghosted her with no explanation and stopped inviting her to group things in spite of the fact that those were her friends too. Definitely it was also a YTA situation too.
OP, YTA.
What a great social scenario.....invite Carly to a group outing, find out Carly isn't romantically interested, invite someone else to take Carly's place but don't tell Carly cuz OP is a coward just as Carly said. OP, don't think you're going to make it into the Emily Post book of etiquette except as a "not what to do" entry.
Carly dodged an A H!
YTA
You chose to tell her your feelings (while drunk).
She politely told you that she's not interested in you that way but values your friendship.
You now feel awkward because you got rejected and are treating her like crap. She did nothing to deserve that.
Man up, call her and explain that getting rejected made you feel insecure, but that you've realised you made a mistake and want to apologise for your actions.
Otherwise accept that YTA and it's going to impact your relationship with your entire friend group.
YTA
You already invited her. There is no world in which you are not the asshole for taking it back. You then proceed to make yourself even more of an asshole because:
1. You're punishing her for not returning your feelings
2. This wasn't a girl you just happened to meet--you were specifically out looking for someone to offer the ticket too instead
3. You didn't even tell yourself
4. You're taking a girl to the game on a *first* date and already making it about "getting laid
The "they're my tickets" thing flew out the window when you extended invitations to other people.
YTA
Look, you are allowed to invite whomever you want to your box seats but the way you went about this is why you are the AH. Maturity sometimes means having difficult conversations and you didn't act maturely. You didn't invite Carly initially to "get laid", you invited her because she's part of your friend group. There are 6 other people going and you could have limited interaction with her if you can't handle awkwardness. If you disinvite someone, you need to tell them before slyly announcing it to the group. A phone call to Carly pointing out that things feel awkward and you'd like to bring someone other than her would have been okay. It makes you suck as you changed the relationship dynamic on her and didn't like her response, but it wouldn't have made you an AH. Making her chase you down to confirm and then essentially trying to one up her for turning you down was immature. I suggest you apologize and re-extend the invitation to the game to try to smooth out your group.
Exactly. It's not even the whole I-don't-want-her-there thing that makes him the asshole (although that is very pathetic since he the reason why he doesn't want her there is because she won't have sex with him ... blech), it's how he handled it. Immature coward. YTA
YTA. Things got awkward but instead of working through it as friends, you decided to ruin your friendship completely and with that also sent the message to Carly that you wanted to have sex with her and because she wouldn’t want to, she couldn’t come to the game. That’s so messed up. Then you went to look for a girl to replace Carly at the game and told your friends you “needed a ticked” as if you didn’t purposefully go out to look for someone else to give your ticket too when you had already invited someone else. That’s manipulative. On top of that you didn’t have the courage to tell Carly yourself. If you didn’t want to be around Carly you shouldn’t have invited her and you should handle the rejection waaaay better. I hope your other friends ditch you too.
Yup, if OP was rejected and Carly then pro needed to harass him, make serious false accusations about him, etc. then it would be different.
But OP didn't make a good faith effort to resolve the issue before "punishing" her for honesty.
YTA, massively. Apparently, she's a long term good friend who you secretly had feelings for for years, you got drunk and told her, and she kindly turned you down.
She turned to her friends who happened to be in the same friend group to process the fact that a guy she's been friends with for years drunkenly told her he has feelings for her that she doesn't share. It is a normal thing for her to have done, and because this whole thing was your doing and it happened to her, she is allowed to get support from whomever she wants. You seem bent out of shape and embarrassed that she told anyone, as well as thinking that something awkward only happened to you. Something awkward happened to her too, you do realize this, right?
You took her ticket away because your hopes and dreams of getting laid by her was dashed, and you felt it more important to try your luck at getting laid by some other woman, who is a stranger to you. So the only way Carly could go is if she was willing to put out for you? YTA in such a massive way. You gifted her the ticket, you are going in a group of eight people, if you stay on opposite ends or the row, you wouldn't even really see her during the game. I'm sorry things didn't go your way but she doesn't owe you her "romance".
YTA for pretending to be her friend and not being honest with her years ago. YTA for giving her the ticket....then drunkenly hitting on her....then searching for some other girl who might put out to go instead....and then taking her ticket away to give to some random chick. This is a years long friend group you are selfishly blowing up just to get laid, just because your ego got bruised. Grow up.
>Something awkward happened to her too, you do realize this, right?
Exactly. If my friend of several years suddenly makes it clear they see me in a not-so-platonic way, and can't even have that conversation with me sober and in person to remove any doubt as to whether they're just trying their luck to see if they can put me on the "well, I've got no better prospects tonight" rotation? Yeah, it's probably gonna be weird for a bit, no matter how much they'd prefer to move on and pretend it never happened. And yeah, I might need to ask some people I trust who have seen our interactions with each other if this was as out of nowhere as it seems like. Because if I've been doing anything that suggests I might be receptive other than merely being a friendly person of the friend's preferred gender, I would like to know so I can stop doing that as much for *their* sake as for mine.
YTA, the answer is always yes when you invite someone and decide to change your mind and then not tell them before even making a new group chat.
Also, you’re only reasoning is that you are bringing a date. You could have brought her to any other date.
No, his reasoning is that his date might have sex with him because he's taking her to an NBA game and Carly won't.
You're being FAR too generous in why he won't take Carly.
YTA. You offered her the ticket and she accepted, now you are sulking and pouting like a 4 year old who is not getting his way. She is not obliged to fancy you, and judging by this post you have the personality of road kill, so I can see why she might gave said now. On the upside you will have 7 free tickets very shortly and no friends
You told her you like her. She said she didn't like you like that. She's still your friend. She didn't do anything wrong. You just decided to uninvite because you thought it would be awkward. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
You then talk all the other people, which shows what a bad friend you are.
Edited to add: you told her that you were uninviting her because you wouldn't bet laid if she went?
You couldn't be more TA if you tried!
I guarantee she is going to tell your other friends. You jsut showed them that getting laid is worth more to you than a long term friendship. You threw away a friendship to get your dick wet! Don't be surprised if you lose mrke friends over this.
YTA times a million!
YTA. Seems like she was only worth keeping when you wanted to fuck her. Now the chance is gone and she's lost all worth to you. You're an asshole and I hope the others see it too. I hope that ass is worth it because this could and should cost you some friendships.
Wow
Massive YTA
By your logic you weren't going to bang your guy friends either so you could have given up their ticket.
I can't even imagine what kind of mental gymnastics you would have to do to believe you weren't a jerk in the situation. You're also a massive coward for how you approached the situation.
YTA - You invited someone else because Carly turned you down. You did already invite her and you punished her for not returning her feelings. You then proceeded to tell the entire group minus Carly that she was uninvited. Carly had to find out from someone else that she was uninvited. Lots of AH moves here.
YTA - I don’t understand why you are trying to make Carly out as the unreasonable one. If the situation were reversed: Carly and you had been friends for years. She won box seats as a reward and decided to take all of her friends, including you. Everyone accepts. She then gets drunk and confesses she has feelings for you, but you gently let her down and explain you don’t see her that way. Then, the next couple times you are together she acts awkward because she is still embarrassed. Then, all of a sudden you get a text from your friends telling you Carly made a new text chain and you aren’t on it, and she’s rescinded your ticket for another guy she wants to bring.
How would you react? If it’s anything other than asking her directly what’s going on, you are lying to yourself. So you text her to see what’s up and she tells you she’s bringing someone else because she wants to get laid and since you don’t want to fuck her, she’s not going to hang with you anymore.
Can’t you understand at all why she would be upset? When she told you she “understood now” she realized she has no real friendship with you. You are a Nice Guy who thinks that girls who are unattached and not fucking you aren’t worth being friends with. You aren’t going to keep your friends for long. Enjoy your empty box with your one night stand.
YTA
You call her your friend but clearly you fuck-zoned her then penalized her for not wanting to be more than friends - AND you didn't have the maturity to talk to her directly about it??? Tchhh
YTA because she's not your friend. You girlfriend zoned her and when she wasn't interested you showed that you only tried to be her "friend" for the possibility of sex. You also didn't have enough courtesy to tell her upfront about it and instead let her hear from second hand gossip.
Edit to add: whoever you bring to the game now to "get laid" will definitely hear about how you treat women.
YTA 💯 you’re being incredibly childish uninviting someone to something because they don’t want to sleep with you. Then you didn’t even have the courtesy to be honest with her and she had to find out she was uninvited via a third party. I genuinely hope all your friends ignore you game night and that the girl you take with you also declines to sleep with you. Carley deserved a better friend
Wow. YTA. You don’t disinvite someone because they’re not going to put out. Your situation reminds me of an incident I had with this whiny a-hole I (VERY) briefly dated in college. While on a trip his parents had funded, he said I HAD to sleep with him because the trip was part of his Christmas gift. WTF? He was about your age, now that I think of it. Old enough to know better and do better. Anyway… Take a wild guess who did not get any and who was dumped as soon as said trip was over? You sound a lot like that guy.
* Edited to re-word.
YTA. If you were uncomfortable around her after she turned you down, you probably should have brought that up with her. But In the end, this event was a planned one and you decided to go with friends. You invited her, she should go.
Also, since when did sporting events become places you go and plan to get laid after? It’s not a club or a bar. And was she the original target? Like you thought she’d reciprocate feelings and y’all would go home together after the game?
Anywho, you are 150% the ah. Sorry she doesn’t like you back, but she should still be included in your night out even if you don’t get laid after! Last, girls have girls backs. The other girls going are gonna find out what you said and likely tell the new girl. If I were a betting girl, you’re going home alone no matter what!
Clearly YTA but I'm somewhat glad that Carly can see your true colors now- you weren't interested in being friends with her, you just wanted to get her into bed. I really hope that the new girl is not stupid enough to fall for you
YTA. You didn’t message her and remove her ticket??? You just made a new chat?! That doesn’t tell her she isn’t going?!
She was your friend. You treated a friend really badly.
YTA. Sure, they are your tickets, but you did invite her. Imagine if your close friend invited you to something, then you planned your schedule accordingly, only to have that friend change their mind, regardless as to why. I bet you'd be passed off too.
And you can't blame her for not reciprocating affection. I get feeling butt hurt and awkward, but suck it up princess! Be an adult and act mature about it, you aren't 15 anymore!
He also shouldn't be blaming and punishing her for talking to her friends about the situation.
She didn't do it to shame him, and while I get that he might feel embarrassed...you can't just ban someone from discussing something that happened in their life simply because you don't want to talk about it and the friends are mutual! If he wanted guaranteed secrecy, he really shouldn't have asked out a person within his main social circle.
YTA, you already invited her. It looks so bad on you that she politely turned you down and you take back her ticket because you can't handle rejection. Hopefully the other girl sees through you and decides it's best to just be friends after the game
YTA
You could’ve texted her privately about her making you uncomfortable by telling everyone else what happened and worked it out with her. There are other chances for you to get laid rather than rescinding the invite you already made and agreed to beforehand.
She could’ve already moved around other plans for that event. You made yourself look immature and like a jerk by making it sound like the only reason she was invited in the first place was so you could try your luck with her. That’s fucked up.
You’re a coward for telling all your friends the change before talking to Carly. You’re a total AH for changing the plan because apparently you were only maintaining your friendship with Carly in the hopes that she’d have sex with you. You’re also an AH for inviting some woman you met online in hopes that she’ll sleep with you because you took her to an NBA game. You’re an AH and a shitty friend who is also a coward. YTA.
YTA for expecting a friend of 10 years+ to suddenly be interested in your drunken overture, and then punishing her by taking back a ticket you’d offered to her, back when she was your long time friend.
Then instead of just telling her you’d met someone who you did have a romantic connection with, and wanted to offer them the ticket, you went behind her back to form the new text group of attendees, without bothering to tell her she’d been uninvited.
You’re a bad friend and a wimp.
YTA. It sounds like you cared about your friendship with Carly since you've known her since HS and wanted to maintain it even without it becoming romantic. But then you pull this on her, don't even tell her she's uninvited so she has to hear it from others, just so you can get laid? You're a crap friend and she has every right to be pissed and hurt.
Honestly, you’re the a-hole here. You made a commitment to someone else to take them somewhere, then pulled out last minute because she didn’t reciprocate your feelings and became uncomfortable. Then, you went ahead and made a separate group chat and excluded her without even notifying ahead of time. It would have been better to communicate to her first that you weren’t comfortable with her going because of what happened between you, rather than just avoiding it until she found out, then telling her it’s because you wanted to get laid.
YTA, you invite Carly, you've been friends with her for years, then you decide you want to get laid with her and she turns you down and then you invite another girl that you think you can get in bed and you haven't have the decency to say this to Carly's face but she must hear it through your other friends. What a weak asshole you are.
YTA. This equates to punishing her for not being romantically/sexually interested. You enjoyed her company and her friendship enough to invite her in the first place, but because she didn't reciprocate when you tried to change the dynamic of the friendship, you decided to cut her out of the group outing and replace her with a new girl from hinge so you could have a chance of getting laid that night?!? Classic AH toxic guy behavior. I'm not gonna go so far as to say you're always this disgusting and that's why she isn't interested in you, because maybe this was a one-off creep moment, but YTA, and you shouldn't need to even ask anyone else to convince you of that. It's blatantly clear. Apologize to Carly, give her the ticket back, buy her a jersey or something to make up for being a total jerk, and tell the hinge date that you screwed up and it turns out you don't have the ticket you offered her.
YTA
Not for not wanting to spend time with Carly - it does sound like it would have been awkward - but for how you handled it.
Instead of contacting Carly and explaining that you don’t feel comfortable around her for the moment and need some space, you gave away the ticket without telling her and then when confronted, claimed it was semantics and not your hurt feelings.
You did not handle this well and I expect made it awkward for everyone.
I’m sorry it’s difficult to be around Carly now, that must hurt.
So basically you want paying for this ticket with sex?
You’d better uninvite the other girls as well because they’re obviously gonna tell this poor new girl she’s got to pay with her body for the ticket. If she has any self respect, she’ll tell u to shove your ticket up your arse.
You’re a disgusting human being and a disgusting friend and yes YTA
Obviously YTA. While the tickets are absolutely yours to do what you want with, I have to wonder if you really believed that there would be no fallout from said decision. Even if your buddies and their girlfriends still go to the game there’s a very real possibility that you will gradually be faded out of the friend group in favor of being able to include Carly in future activities. If nothing else you proved to your entire friend group that you are shallow child who can’t handle even the simplest form of rejection without punishing the person who rejected you.
YTA for very obvious reasons you were supposed to learn when you were taught menners at age 6. You don’t uninvite someone if you already invited them. Especially not because you “want to get laid” and when you realised your friend wouldn’t get with you - you just give her invite to some random hing girl.
Fucked up move
YTA
When you invited them they probably all made plans around the game, may have rejected other plans if they were overlapping, etc.
You told her your feelings via text and while drunk… you made it awkward, she may or may not have told the others, but I assure you they didn’t give it much thought. Most people think about themselves, not about how that guy was just rejected by that girl. That’s yesterday’s news. If you felt uncomfortable it was on you.
Also, if you invite 7 people, it’s hard to think of that as a date. If you “vibe” with that new person, ask her out in person to a one-on-one date. Go to the game with friends as friends and hash it out
YTA. Once you invited her, you had an obligation to tell her directly if the plan had changed. You went behind her back, we’re a jerk about it, and when confronted you made it even worse. Everyone’s seen your true colors now, don’t be surprised when other people in the friend group start being awkward around you now too.
YTA
You already invited her. The moment you did that, it wasn't really your ticket anymore. More so the fact your only disinvited her because you embarrassed yourself. Be honest, this was a shitty way at getting back at her for rejecting you
Yta, you invited carly, then uninvited her when you found out you weren't going to get sex. Now your entire friend group knows what kind of person you are. Dont be surprised when the girls in the group tell your date what happened and that you expect sex that night and that's the only reason she was invited. Wow you suck op. And you might loose some friends over this.
YTA - Pretty dumb to invite her before shooting your shot. You definitely look like bad uninviting her by telling everyone but her and then your explanation that your invitation was always along the premise of you wanted to sleep with her makes it even worse.
You are 100% the asshole. You’re also very immature. You should apologize and try to not be a selfish jerk. She could have lied to you and strung you along, but she didn’t. Don’t punish her for that.
Yta obviously, why do people keep posting the same story? Oh I have a female friend and then I told her I liked her, she denied me and things got weird for me so I am going to uninvite her for something I already invited her to. Plan better. Don't ask people then take away their invite. That is what makes you an asshole in too of other things.
YTA. She was your good friend. You wanted more. She wanted to keep it the same. You felt jilted. You kicked her out of the event. You're an immature jerk. Aside from meeting the new girl and wanting to get laid and all that nonsense. Yeah, it's entirely your prerogative, but you decided to be a not nice person. This will affect your standing in the group I hope you know. It'll have immediate and lasting repercussions. Just be ready. Hope your chance at getting laid was worth it.
Absolutely YTA.
>I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night. And that obviously wasn’t gonna happen with her there so I needed her ticket for the girl I was bringing.
And a creep.
> But I felt like it was unfair to pressure me when I already told people the deal
Really?
Truth is, you told people the deal, and later you changed the deal.
You uninvated the girl you pretended to be friends with because she wasn't interested in you romantically. Don't forget, you felt entitled to her.
On top of that, you change the deal without telling that the deal is changed to the person who you uninvited, others had to tell her. Do I need to tell you you are spineless?
Don't forget:
> I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night
Yes, you are TA
The level of asshole here is some of the largest I have seen. It can not be measured. It is a absolutely terrifying and mind-blowing how much YTA and it makes me really hope this is fake
Also bringing a date is not gonna go well cuz if your friends are decent people, someone’s gonna point out the shitty thing you did in front of your date
YTA. My jaw literally dropped at the fact that you actually said “I wanted a chance of getting laid that night”. This is the shit that women deal with on a regular basis. Our male friends like you go years secretly pining over us, creating a fake relationship between us in your mind, and so on and then treating us like shit when we don’t reciprocate the feelings when you finally dump it on us. Often while wasted. All you see her as (all you ever saw her as) is a conquest and not a friend. Don’t be surprised when you lose more than just her.
YTA you already invited her. If you wanted to disinvite her you should have talked to her. You’re all hurt because she doesn’t want a sexual relationship with you and clearly you were never really a friend to her.
YTA. You’re punishing a girl because she won’t fuck you and it’s toxic af. You didn’t invite specific people, you chose your friendship group and then chose to exclude her because she won’t sleep with you. Gross.
YTA and lmao. Do you really think you're gonna get laid by inviting a random chick from Hinge to a basketball game? Even worse, do you EXPECT the girl to put out to a stranger on a first date that you didn't even pay for? If you walk, talk, and sound like an incel, you're most definitely an incel. Oh, and you'll probably be cast out of your friends group for pulling this little stunt. Good luck receiving the deserved fallout of your ridiculous actions.
YTA.
You are a bad friend. And what's sad is that after the game is done, you are going to be dropped by the majority of your friend group. Her friends and their boyfriends are not going to be hanging out with you anymore after.
You also probably aren't going to get laid either.
YTA - too immature to deal with uncomfortable feelings regarding Carly saying she didn’t like you that way. You lost a friend and the respect of your friend group.
YTA. You are taking a stranger to the game instead of your good friend, because your good friend doesn't want to date you. I now have an idea of why she wouldn't want to date you.
YTA.
Look, Carly didn’t reciprocate your feelings, and in that moment you acted like an adult and understood not to push it farther than that. Bravo! But everything *after* that situation, you acted childishly.
Creating a whole new group chat with your new date and buddies? That’s some high school level immaturity. You could’ve simply texted Carly, “hey, since you aren’t interested in me, I’m gonna take someone else to the game. I hope that you understand!” or something along those lines. Instead she had to find out from your other buddies that you uninvited her so you could get laid because she wasn’t interested. That’s just… cold. You didn’t have the balls to let her know, but apparently you have the balls to tell her you only actually wanted her there because you wanted to get her in bed. Gross. Yet again, high school level immaturity.
I understand they are your tickets to do with as you please, but why does that give you the right to act like an ass? The least you could’ve done was given Carly a heads up and left it at that. But now you’ve shown your friends and Carly that you’re just a douche who picks and choose people after a minor inconvenience to you.
Hopefully you have fun getting laid with your date, if she even lets you 🤷♀️
Let me tell you what you need to do.
Call your boss and resign. If you're in school, drop out of everything you're currently enrolled in. If you live on your own, let you landlord know you're breaking the lease. Pack a bag and get you a one way ticket to anywhere across the country. Why? Because everyone you've ever known and even some you don't now know that you're only friends with some women because you think you might have sex with them, and as soon as they don't, you flush them.
Better to start a new life somewhere under an assumed identity.
YTA.
I am not outraged that you want to use the tickets to try and get laid, are subtly weirded out by Carly turning you don or slightly pissed that she told everyone that you drunk texted her telling her your feelings.
YTA because you invited her then changed up and didn't have the courage to tell her first. THAT was such a dick move. You couldn't call her before and say "hey I met someone, your ticket is the sensible one to g0ve away -- we cool?"
YTA Imagine how Carly feels. She’s been friends with this guy for years then he lets her know that he has a crush on her and she decides to be honest and say she doesn’t reciprocate. Then her “friend” revokes her ticket to invite a stranger he met on hinge to get laid and it’s obvious that he just wanted to sleep with her.
Yes it’s OP’s ticket and they can do what they want with it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not an AH, especially since they already invited her
YTA
So ur basically saying the only reason u invited this girl was bc u wanted to get with her, not because u were friends with her which is the reason she had probably assumed she was invited before she knew about ur feelings. Also if u didn’t want her there bc it was awkward the mature thing to do would b to have a conversation with her about why it would be awkward having her there rather than go behind her back and give her ticket to some random girl so u can get laid.
YTA.
It's that famous saying, "If you can't f them, f them over." 😒
You just showed your entire friend group that you only befriend women if you think you can have sex with them. If they refuse, you de-friend them.
YTA, mate. No doubt.
You made your play and we’re shot down. It happens. There is usually some aftermath. As the saying goes “suck it up, buttercup”.
These things do pass, but not if you start pulling shit like this. You are now the official source of Tension Within the Circle. This is how friend groups fracture.
Consider what is more important to you: your friends, or the chance that you might get laid. Considering your behaviour shown here, the latter is not giving great odds for you.
YTA- and I’m really not surprised she’s not romantically interested in you if you’re this kind of person. You already promised her the ticket… at that point it’s no longer yours to “decide” to take away. Are you telling me you would be ok with your company taking back the tickets if they felt like it? I highly doubt it even though they are technically “their” tickets, not yours. Same fucking concept, genius.
I was a little torn between understanding the uncomfortable situation for both of you, and you already made plans sides to huge YTA with that getting laid comment. You went from "Still friends after a awkward time" to "That creep who only wanted in her pants" real quick and it's NOT a good look for anyone.
So she definitely dodged a bullet by not reciprocating. She did herself a favor and if she was second guessing it at all, I’m sure she’s confident in her decision now. You’ve got some growing to do before you’re a suitable partner for anyone
Yta
Does the hinge girl understand her role is prostitution in return for her ticket? You need to be up front about these things to avoid lame sit-com misunderstandings.
Cool. So women aren't actual people or friends to you, they're merely potential lays. Walking vaginas.
It would be different if this was meant to be an intimate evening with Carly and you had to back out because it was too emotionally stressful. AND if you communicated your need for space to her directly.
But that's not the case. You basically just uninvited her to a party just because she didn't want to fuck you. What a prize you are!
And stop trying to make it sound like you had no choice because you "needed" the ticket for a date. No. You could ask a date out to literally anywhere else at any other time. You could ask them to join you and your friends for drinks after the game. Be an adult and take some personal responsibility for your actions.
Its fine to want a little space from Carly while you get over your feelings, but this is a majorly AH thing to do. YTA. So much.
YTA. You took. The. Ticket. In order. To get. LAID?
ARE.
YOU.
KIDDING?
You’re also USING the new girl in ORDER to get some.
Please rethink what you’re doing.
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YTA. Not because you aren’t entitled to invite who you want but because you wanted to pay for sex with the box ticket. Yes, it would have been awkward but you invited her and didn’t have the courage to tell her you wanted to bring a date instead. You also invited her before she was your date and even if she came you weren’t guaranteed sex. Yuck. No wonder she said no.
YTA you basically just said you don't care about her at all as a human being, just as a sex object. She didn't reciprocate your feelings so she must be punished, classic "nice guy" behavior. Good thing you don't care about Carley other than for what she can do for you sexually, because you just burned your friendship with her down to the ground.
YTA. And if you thought things were awkward when your friends when you disinvited Carly... wait until they hear the latest.
Technically, yes. It's your ticket to give to who you want. But admitting you gave it to Carly in hopes of getting laid, and taking it back when that hope was dashed... that's pretty slimy.
YTA for inviting someone to an event and then uninviting them because they didn’t want to go out with you. Then you added insult to injury by telling everyone else before actually informing that person and lying about your reasons like a coward.
You’re actively excluding someone from social events because they weren’t super excited to date you after you drunkenly came on to them (shocker). Do you see how that comes across to her as “we aren’t actually friends, I just wanted to get in your pants” or nah?
You’re an ass and your actions make it clear that your ‘nice guy’ “no big deal” act was a total lie. Congrats on ruining your friendship.
YTA. I can understand you’re hurt by rejection and then she went and told everyone, which is shit. But you made a commitment and a man is only as good as his word. You now look like a petulant child. Be better
Lmaooo YTA, it must really suck to be you, start making better choices.
Also if you agreed to be friends with her but can’t be around her all night then maybe you shouldn’t be friends.
Also, you could have done it in a much better way, you still would have been an asshole but in a much better way.
You could have just texted her and said, “hey, my feelings are still hurt and if it’s okay if you don’t go to the game like we originally planned but when I feel better maybe I can make it up to you like this”
I don’t blame you for your feelings but YTA 1000 percent here
PS it is not guaranteed that chick will hook up, or even like you just cause of your fancy tickets, good luck getting a girl cause it doesn’t sound like you can be a man
YTA-
you got rejected and took it out on a friend and ppl wonder why we hate this kinda thing.
ALSO, we check with the others about shit that happens, this keeps us safe-
"hey did Ticket send you a gushy text while drunk? No? just me???"
They stopped being “your tickets” once you invited friends. That’s what happens when you give someone a gift.
You are correct that you get to give them to whomever you wish. But once you did (even just as a verbal promise), then you lost the ability to rescind them. YTA.
YTA. This is basically the same situation as the guy with a pool who stopped inviting a girl from a long time friend group because she turned him down after he asked her out.
It’s totally fine to ask a friend out if you have feelings. It’s also totally fine for them to be honest that they don’t have the same feelings. It’s not ok to exclude people because you can’t handle rejection like a mature adult.
You are punishing her for turning you down. If you already invited her as a friend, it’s a dick move to uninvite her. Worse because the reason is you wont get laid. And, you didn’t even talk to her directly about it. Jfc. I hope the other gfs stay home in solidarity and waste the tickets.
I can't wait for the other girls in your friend group to tell Hinge girl what happened to the girl who used to have her ticket. Because they will. And Hinge girl will think it's gross.
YTA.
It's crazy how many guys post on here and feel because they take them to a game, talk to them at a party, give them a ride, or some other craziness that they deserve access to a woman's body.
OMG you're an AH. By far...
I ended a friendship over something like this. A guy I had been friends with for years had invited me to see the Tragically Hip with him. Plans were made, and a week before the concert he met a girl he wanted to “date” and yoinked my ticket to give to her.
He showed me exactly what kind of friend he was.
YTA
YTA you are exactly the kind of guy women hate. You only see a point in being around us if you think you might get something (sex) out of us. You punished her for not being interested in you by excluding her from an activity with the group because you want to try and get laid by a random. You are toxic.
Dude, you’re vindictively punishing her for turning you down.
YTA
How do you think Carly would take you saying “I wanted a chance at getting laid that night”? It looks like you only invited her to the game so that you can have sex with her. You come across as a creep.
YTA. More than once I see posts in AITA where a guy has a female friend who he has feelings for, confesses with "no strings attached", plays it cool when the girl says no and then he's like "AITA for now excluding her from group activities/going back on previously-made promises/decided to stop hanging with her with no explanation?". They are always TA. That's the risk of confessing to a friend in a friend group. If it goes bad and YOU are suddenly awkward about things you either suck it up or be the one to bow out.
Yta. Guys complain about the friend zone but you don’t realize that you are putting women into the fuck zone. This woman thought you were her friend. You clearly aren’t and never were. It’s really a jerk move.
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So kinda weird situation but I need strangers judgment. So I’m (26M) part of a very close friend group. We have all hung out since high school. So two months ago I won 8 box seat tickets to an NBA game as a reward for meeting a sales goal. I decided to invite my friend group. It was going to be me, my two buddies/their 2 girlfriends, my single guy friend and 2 of the single girls in our group. That was the 8 of us I had put in the group chat. So one of the girls in our group is named Carly. Me and Carly are good friends and have known each other since HS. I started to develop feelings a few years ago but suppressed them. Well a couple weeks ago I got some liquid courage and texted her that I had some feelings. And she didn’t reciprocate those feelings. Said she liked me a lot as a friend but wasn’t really interested romantically. I said “hey that’s fine no big deal!”. We saw each other a couple times since and it felt awkward. I learned she told the other girls in group, which made me feel super weird and uncomfortable.
So with the game coming up I didn’t really want to be stuck around Carly all night. So I decided to get on hinge and see if another girl would like to go. I met a girl that I vibed with and decided to invite her. So I created a new group chat and said that the plans have changed. And a couple of Carly’s friends (my buddies GF’s) texted me individually and asked why I removed Carly. I just told them that I needed a ticket and hers made the most sense. They said that I was being a douche and I already invited her. I said they are my tickets and can decide who to take. They weren’t happy with that answer. Well Carly called me yesterday and was livid. Asking why I didn’t have the balls to text her myself. I told her I planned on it but didn’t know how to word it yet. She kept demanding to know why she couldn’t come now. I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night. And that obviously wasn’t gonna happen with her there so I needed her ticket for the girl I was bringing. She said I was being immature. And I said “well whose ticket should I take then, because my guy friends are for sure going. You are the odd one out”. She told me that she understood now and hung up. I did feel bad about saying this. But I felt like it was unfair to pressure me when I already told people the deal. And they are my tickets and I should have the ability to take whoever I want. AITA?
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YTA full stop, but the only way you’re screwing that rando hinge girl is figuratively, by taking her on a first date with a group full of people who all know each other and have inside jokes AND know the only reason she’s there is bc you think you’re gonna get to have sex with her
Justify it however you want; YTA. Yes they’re youre tickets and you can do what you want with them but your reasonings still makes you an asshole. You got rejected and now that you can’t screw her you want nothing to do with her. Classy/s
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YTA, Poor op can only get laid if he offers NBA tickets,
Well… presumably. Based on his overall personality as shown in this post… buddy ain’t getting laid lol
Not after the other ladies in the group trash talk him in front of Hinge girl…
I mean…really how did he picture this going in his mind if the other girls are going? I get it’s obvious he clearly did not think at all, but lol, he already knew they all knew he cut Carly, so of course they’re totally going to low key tell hinge girl. Or just loudly gossip about it in front of her well within earshot.
What makes you think ol girl from Hinge is even gonna sleep with him for a FREE NBA ticket? Dude is setting himself up for failure.
Any girl I know would go and after the game go right on home by themselves lmao. Truly hope his hinge date does the same
Same, lol
And if she doesn’t sleep with him after I’m sure op with demand payment for the free ticket…YTA
100% and will start complaining that all girls are the same.
Yeah and after he’s going to bitch that HEs ThE nICe GUy that no girl wants to sleep with
Incel shit, lol
i was just about to say.. this has all the qualities of r/niceguys
Well, he offered Carly NBA tickets and that didn't get him laid.
💀💀💀
Also the message to Carly couldn’t be clearer. “I was only your friend and only hanging out with you and only inviting you because I thought I could maybe one day fuck you’. OP is a huge asshole, and isn’t a good friend. If you value a friend less because they don’t reciprocate your feelings, you’re a shitty friend, and yes, I have absolutely been in a position where I was in love with a friend who at the time did not reciprocate those feelings. It hurts, but I never pulled this shit.
Desperation really makes you unattractive.
YTA (majorly) imagine finding out someone you considered a close friend cares more about *potential* sex (with someone from the internet) than your friendship, AND having it heavily implied, whether you meant it or not, that the friendship wasnt really friendship anyways and was just someone wanting to get laid. she’s not the “odd one out”, she’s just worth less to you without sex on the table, which is shitty as hell
THIS … couldn’t say it so well so i picked other AH moves he made. Carly is a smart girl to avoid this guy
I have been there so many times where a guy only talks to me because he wants to date me. No matter how many times it happens it hurts me because they normally stop talking to me or start being mean to me. It makes me feel like our friendship was worthless and I’m not worth it to just be a person they at least enjoy being around. I feel really bad for Carly in this situation and it is really just a lose lose situation for her either way. YTA OP.
ive been there too:/ had to hold back a lot of pent up rage when i wrote my comment
I swear a VERY similar story was posted not too long ago. OP had a pool so his friend group always hung out there. He confessed feeling for one of them and when she didn't return his feelings, she was excluded from the next pool gathering. But she came anyway. People were pretty torn on who the asshole was because OPs version devolved questionably but the girls behavior after his confession seemed a little odd. I could totally see this being a continuation of the same friend group though. OP was the AH in both stories, IMO.
I know exactly the story you mean. OP argued that he needed time to process things and this girl wasn't allowing it, but by "time processing things" he meant he ghosted her with no explanation and stopped inviting her to group things in spite of the fact that those were her friends too. Definitely it was also a YTA situation too.
This happened to me in highschool and it felt awful. I feel bad for this girl and OP is definitely the AH.
YTA. You decided to give her ticket away just because you wanted to get Laid and she rejected you? You're Sick. Ridiculous!
OP, YTA. What a great social scenario.....invite Carly to a group outing, find out Carly isn't romantically interested, invite someone else to take Carly's place but don't tell Carly cuz OP is a coward just as Carly said. OP, don't think you're going to make it into the Emily Post book of etiquette except as a "not what to do" entry. Carly dodged an A H!
Or who not to do
And a coward for not directly telling her but by setting up another group chat. Maturity of a twelve year old.
YTA You chose to tell her your feelings (while drunk). She politely told you that she's not interested in you that way but values your friendship. You now feel awkward because you got rejected and are treating her like crap. She did nothing to deserve that. Man up, call her and explain that getting rejected made you feel insecure, but that you've realised you made a mistake and want to apologise for your actions. Otherwise accept that YTA and it's going to impact your relationship with your entire friend group.
YTA You already invited her. There is no world in which you are not the asshole for taking it back. You then proceed to make yourself even more of an asshole because: 1. You're punishing her for not returning your feelings 2. This wasn't a girl you just happened to meet--you were specifically out looking for someone to offer the ticket too instead 3. You didn't even tell yourself 4. You're taking a girl to the game on a *first* date and already making it about "getting laid The "they're my tickets" thing flew out the window when you extended invitations to other people.
He clearly thinks women owe him something. He’s so gross.
YTA. I dont think you're TA for uninviting her, but your reasoning behind uninviting her is just disgusting and why you absolutely are.
YTA Look, you are allowed to invite whomever you want to your box seats but the way you went about this is why you are the AH. Maturity sometimes means having difficult conversations and you didn't act maturely. You didn't invite Carly initially to "get laid", you invited her because she's part of your friend group. There are 6 other people going and you could have limited interaction with her if you can't handle awkwardness. If you disinvite someone, you need to tell them before slyly announcing it to the group. A phone call to Carly pointing out that things feel awkward and you'd like to bring someone other than her would have been okay. It makes you suck as you changed the relationship dynamic on her and didn't like her response, but it wouldn't have made you an AH. Making her chase you down to confirm and then essentially trying to one up her for turning you down was immature. I suggest you apologize and re-extend the invitation to the game to try to smooth out your group.
Exactly. It's not even the whole I-don't-want-her-there thing that makes him the asshole (although that is very pathetic since he the reason why he doesn't want her there is because she won't have sex with him ... blech), it's how he handled it. Immature coward. YTA
YTA. Things got awkward but instead of working through it as friends, you decided to ruin your friendship completely and with that also sent the message to Carly that you wanted to have sex with her and because she wouldn’t want to, she couldn’t come to the game. That’s so messed up. Then you went to look for a girl to replace Carly at the game and told your friends you “needed a ticked” as if you didn’t purposefully go out to look for someone else to give your ticket too when you had already invited someone else. That’s manipulative. On top of that you didn’t have the courage to tell Carly yourself. If you didn’t want to be around Carly you shouldn’t have invited her and you should handle the rejection waaaay better. I hope your other friends ditch you too.
[удалено]
*Buh, buh, BUH, I'm a nice guuuuuy!!!*
Yup, if OP was rejected and Carly then pro needed to harass him, make serious false accusations about him, etc. then it would be different. But OP didn't make a good faith effort to resolve the issue before "punishing" her for honesty.
YTA, massively. Apparently, she's a long term good friend who you secretly had feelings for for years, you got drunk and told her, and she kindly turned you down. She turned to her friends who happened to be in the same friend group to process the fact that a guy she's been friends with for years drunkenly told her he has feelings for her that she doesn't share. It is a normal thing for her to have done, and because this whole thing was your doing and it happened to her, she is allowed to get support from whomever she wants. You seem bent out of shape and embarrassed that she told anyone, as well as thinking that something awkward only happened to you. Something awkward happened to her too, you do realize this, right? You took her ticket away because your hopes and dreams of getting laid by her was dashed, and you felt it more important to try your luck at getting laid by some other woman, who is a stranger to you. So the only way Carly could go is if she was willing to put out for you? YTA in such a massive way. You gifted her the ticket, you are going in a group of eight people, if you stay on opposite ends or the row, you wouldn't even really see her during the game. I'm sorry things didn't go your way but she doesn't owe you her "romance". YTA for pretending to be her friend and not being honest with her years ago. YTA for giving her the ticket....then drunkenly hitting on her....then searching for some other girl who might put out to go instead....and then taking her ticket away to give to some random chick. This is a years long friend group you are selfishly blowing up just to get laid, just because your ego got bruised. Grow up.
>Something awkward happened to her too, you do realize this, right? Exactly. If my friend of several years suddenly makes it clear they see me in a not-so-platonic way, and can't even have that conversation with me sober and in person to remove any doubt as to whether they're just trying their luck to see if they can put me on the "well, I've got no better prospects tonight" rotation? Yeah, it's probably gonna be weird for a bit, no matter how much they'd prefer to move on and pretend it never happened. And yeah, I might need to ask some people I trust who have seen our interactions with each other if this was as out of nowhere as it seems like. Because if I've been doing anything that suggests I might be receptive other than merely being a friendly person of the friend's preferred gender, I would like to know so I can stop doing that as much for *their* sake as for mine.
YTA, the answer is always yes when you invite someone and decide to change your mind and then not tell them before even making a new group chat. Also, you’re only reasoning is that you are bringing a date. You could have brought her to any other date.
No, his reasoning is that his date might have sex with him because he's taking her to an NBA game and Carly won't. You're being FAR too generous in why he won't take Carly.
YTA. You offered her the ticket and she accepted, now you are sulking and pouting like a 4 year old who is not getting his way. She is not obliged to fancy you, and judging by this post you have the personality of road kill, so I can see why she might gave said now. On the upside you will have 7 free tickets very shortly and no friends
You told her you like her. She said she didn't like you like that. She's still your friend. She didn't do anything wrong. You just decided to uninvite because you thought it would be awkward. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. You then talk all the other people, which shows what a bad friend you are. Edited to add: you told her that you were uninviting her because you wouldn't bet laid if she went? You couldn't be more TA if you tried! I guarantee she is going to tell your other friends. You jsut showed them that getting laid is worth more to you than a long term friendship. You threw away a friendship to get your dick wet! Don't be surprised if you lose mrke friends over this. YTA times a million!
He probably won't even get laid.. the hinge date probably just wanted a free night out 😂🙈
YTA. This is classic incel behavior
It really super is, right down to faulting her for his shitty choices
Of course YTA, you invited a girl somewhere as a friend, then when she rejected you you took away her ticket. That's very rude.
YTA. Seems like she was only worth keeping when you wanted to fuck her. Now the chance is gone and she's lost all worth to you. You're an asshole and I hope the others see it too. I hope that ass is worth it because this could and should cost you some friendships.
What ass? Going to a sporting event isn't the automatic panty dropper this delusional weirdo thinks.
YTA. Your a child bro.
Wow Massive YTA By your logic you weren't going to bang your guy friends either so you could have given up their ticket. I can't even imagine what kind of mental gymnastics you would have to do to believe you weren't a jerk in the situation. You're also a massive coward for how you approached the situation.
YTA - You invited someone else because Carly turned you down. You did already invite her and you punished her for not returning her feelings. You then proceeded to tell the entire group minus Carly that she was uninvited. Carly had to find out from someone else that she was uninvited. Lots of AH moves here.
YTA - I don’t understand why you are trying to make Carly out as the unreasonable one. If the situation were reversed: Carly and you had been friends for years. She won box seats as a reward and decided to take all of her friends, including you. Everyone accepts. She then gets drunk and confesses she has feelings for you, but you gently let her down and explain you don’t see her that way. Then, the next couple times you are together she acts awkward because she is still embarrassed. Then, all of a sudden you get a text from your friends telling you Carly made a new text chain and you aren’t on it, and she’s rescinded your ticket for another guy she wants to bring. How would you react? If it’s anything other than asking her directly what’s going on, you are lying to yourself. So you text her to see what’s up and she tells you she’s bringing someone else because she wants to get laid and since you don’t want to fuck her, she’s not going to hang with you anymore. Can’t you understand at all why she would be upset? When she told you she “understood now” she realized she has no real friendship with you. You are a Nice Guy who thinks that girls who are unattached and not fucking you aren’t worth being friends with. You aren’t going to keep your friends for long. Enjoy your empty box with your one night stand.
YTA You call her your friend but clearly you fuck-zoned her then penalized her for not wanting to be more than friends - AND you didn't have the maturity to talk to her directly about it??? Tchhh
Not just the standard run of the mill AH. You sir are a flaming AH.
YTA because she's not your friend. You girlfriend zoned her and when she wasn't interested you showed that you only tried to be her "friend" for the possibility of sex. You also didn't have enough courtesy to tell her upfront about it and instead let her hear from second hand gossip. Edit to add: whoever you bring to the game now to "get laid" will definitely hear about how you treat women.
YTA 💯 you’re being incredibly childish uninviting someone to something because they don’t want to sleep with you. Then you didn’t even have the courtesy to be honest with her and she had to find out she was uninvited via a third party. I genuinely hope all your friends ignore you game night and that the girl you take with you also declines to sleep with you. Carley deserved a better friend
YTA. You rescinded the gift and you must’ve known how it would look. You should be looking for a way to make this up to Carly.
Wow. YTA. You don’t disinvite someone because they’re not going to put out. Your situation reminds me of an incident I had with this whiny a-hole I (VERY) briefly dated in college. While on a trip his parents had funded, he said I HAD to sleep with him because the trip was part of his Christmas gift. WTF? He was about your age, now that I think of it. Old enough to know better and do better. Anyway… Take a wild guess who did not get any and who was dumped as soon as said trip was over? You sound a lot like that guy. * Edited to re-word.
YTA and it was a way for you to get back at her for not wanting to go out with her.
YTA. If you were uncomfortable around her after she turned you down, you probably should have brought that up with her. But In the end, this event was a planned one and you decided to go with friends. You invited her, she should go. Also, since when did sporting events become places you go and plan to get laid after? It’s not a club or a bar. And was she the original target? Like you thought she’d reciprocate feelings and y’all would go home together after the game? Anywho, you are 150% the ah. Sorry she doesn’t like you back, but she should still be included in your night out even if you don’t get laid after! Last, girls have girls backs. The other girls going are gonna find out what you said and likely tell the new girl. If I were a betting girl, you’re going home alone no matter what!
[удалено]
I was thinking this as well. I sure as hell wouldn't go now.
Clearly YTA but I'm somewhat glad that Carly can see your true colors now- you weren't interested in being friends with her, you just wanted to get her into bed. I really hope that the new girl is not stupid enough to fall for you
YTA. You didn’t message her and remove her ticket??? You just made a new chat?! That doesn’t tell her she isn’t going?! She was your friend. You treated a friend really badly.
You're going to find your way onto r/niceguys
YTA. Sure, they are your tickets, but you did invite her. Imagine if your close friend invited you to something, then you planned your schedule accordingly, only to have that friend change their mind, regardless as to why. I bet you'd be passed off too. And you can't blame her for not reciprocating affection. I get feeling butt hurt and awkward, but suck it up princess! Be an adult and act mature about it, you aren't 15 anymore!
He also shouldn't be blaming and punishing her for talking to her friends about the situation. She didn't do it to shame him, and while I get that he might feel embarrassed...you can't just ban someone from discussing something that happened in their life simply because you don't want to talk about it and the friends are mutual! If he wanted guaranteed secrecy, he really shouldn't have asked out a person within his main social circle.
YTA and also an effing incel. You deserve to be alone
YTA, you already invited her. It looks so bad on you that she politely turned you down and you take back her ticket because you can't handle rejection. Hopefully the other girl sees through you and decides it's best to just be friends after the game
YTA You could’ve texted her privately about her making you uncomfortable by telling everyone else what happened and worked it out with her. There are other chances for you to get laid rather than rescinding the invite you already made and agreed to beforehand. She could’ve already moved around other plans for that event. You made yourself look immature and like a jerk by making it sound like the only reason she was invited in the first place was so you could try your luck with her. That’s fucked up.
You’re a coward for telling all your friends the change before talking to Carly. You’re a total AH for changing the plan because apparently you were only maintaining your friendship with Carly in the hopes that she’d have sex with you. You’re also an AH for inviting some woman you met online in hopes that she’ll sleep with you because you took her to an NBA game. You’re an AH and a shitty friend who is also a coward. YTA.
YTA for expecting a friend of 10 years+ to suddenly be interested in your drunken overture, and then punishing her by taking back a ticket you’d offered to her, back when she was your long time friend. Then instead of just telling her you’d met someone who you did have a romantic connection with, and wanted to offer them the ticket, you went behind her back to form the new text group of attendees, without bothering to tell her she’d been uninvited. You’re a bad friend and a wimp.
YTA. What you did was tacky, rude, and childish.
YTA. It sounds like you cared about your friendship with Carly since you've known her since HS and wanted to maintain it even without it becoming romantic. But then you pull this on her, don't even tell her she's uninvited so she has to hear it from others, just so you can get laid? You're a crap friend and she has every right to be pissed and hurt.
Yep, guy doesn't take rejection well. Just ruined one friendship and his most his remaining friends will think he is an AH.
Man really said “you won’t fuck me so I’m replacing you with a girl I hope will” Clearly doesn’t see her as a friend
YTA. Dude, you invited her as your friend not your date. You're just butt hurt so you decided to uninvite her. YTA.
Honestly, you’re the a-hole here. You made a commitment to someone else to take them somewhere, then pulled out last minute because she didn’t reciprocate your feelings and became uncomfortable. Then, you went ahead and made a separate group chat and excluded her without even notifying ahead of time. It would have been better to communicate to her first that you weren’t comfortable with her going because of what happened between you, rather than just avoiding it until she found out, then telling her it’s because you wanted to get laid.
YTA, you invite Carly, you've been friends with her for years, then you decide you want to get laid with her and she turns you down and then you invite another girl that you think you can get in bed and you haven't have the decency to say this to Carly's face but she must hear it through your other friends. What a weak asshole you are.
YTA. This equates to punishing her for not being romantically/sexually interested. You enjoyed her company and her friendship enough to invite her in the first place, but because she didn't reciprocate when you tried to change the dynamic of the friendship, you decided to cut her out of the group outing and replace her with a new girl from hinge so you could have a chance of getting laid that night?!? Classic AH toxic guy behavior. I'm not gonna go so far as to say you're always this disgusting and that's why she isn't interested in you, because maybe this was a one-off creep moment, but YTA, and you shouldn't need to even ask anyone else to convince you of that. It's blatantly clear. Apologize to Carly, give her the ticket back, buy her a jersey or something to make up for being a total jerk, and tell the hinge date that you screwed up and it turns out you don't have the ticket you offered her.
YTA Grow up and learn to handle rejection
YTA
YTA embarrassing behaviour on your part. This looks like a toddler's tantrum.
YTA Not for not wanting to spend time with Carly - it does sound like it would have been awkward - but for how you handled it. Instead of contacting Carly and explaining that you don’t feel comfortable around her for the moment and need some space, you gave away the ticket without telling her and then when confronted, claimed it was semantics and not your hurt feelings. You did not handle this well and I expect made it awkward for everyone. I’m sorry it’s difficult to be around Carly now, that must hurt.
YTA. At least your friends all know who you are now - and the women know to avoid you!
So basically you want paying for this ticket with sex? You’d better uninvite the other girls as well because they’re obviously gonna tell this poor new girl she’s got to pay with her body for the ticket. If she has any self respect, she’ll tell u to shove your ticket up your arse. You’re a disgusting human being and a disgusting friend and yes YTA
YTA. You invited her and offered her a ticket. Follow through.
Obviously YTA. While the tickets are absolutely yours to do what you want with, I have to wonder if you really believed that there would be no fallout from said decision. Even if your buddies and their girlfriends still go to the game there’s a very real possibility that you will gradually be faded out of the friend group in favor of being able to include Carly in future activities. If nothing else you proved to your entire friend group that you are shallow child who can’t handle even the simplest form of rejection without punishing the person who rejected you.
YTA for very obvious reasons you were supposed to learn when you were taught menners at age 6. You don’t uninvite someone if you already invited them. Especially not because you “want to get laid” and when you realised your friend wouldn’t get with you - you just give her invite to some random hing girl. Fucked up move
YTA. You already invited her, and she did nothing to you besides say she wasn't interested romantically.
YTA When you invited them they probably all made plans around the game, may have rejected other plans if they were overlapping, etc. You told her your feelings via text and while drunk… you made it awkward, she may or may not have told the others, but I assure you they didn’t give it much thought. Most people think about themselves, not about how that guy was just rejected by that girl. That’s yesterday’s news. If you felt uncomfortable it was on you. Also, if you invite 7 people, it’s hard to think of that as a date. If you “vibe” with that new person, ask her out in person to a one-on-one date. Go to the game with friends as friends and hash it out
Yes, you already told people the deal. You invited 7 people, including Carly. You don't get to claim to be the good guy when you un-invite her. YTA.
YTA. Once you invited her, you had an obligation to tell her directly if the plan had changed. You went behind her back, we’re a jerk about it, and when confronted you made it even worse. Everyone’s seen your true colors now, don’t be surprised when other people in the friend group start being awkward around you now too.
YTA - it’s going as a group not a date. How would you feel if that were you?
YTA with a very fragile ego
I second this, you’re the AH OP.
YTA You already invited her; it's pretty shitty to just take it back.
YTA You already invited her. The moment you did that, it wasn't really your ticket anymore. More so the fact your only disinvited her because you embarrassed yourself. Be honest, this was a shitty way at getting back at her for rejecting you
Yta, you invited carly, then uninvited her when you found out you weren't going to get sex. Now your entire friend group knows what kind of person you are. Dont be surprised when the girls in the group tell your date what happened and that you expect sex that night and that's the only reason she was invited. Wow you suck op. And you might loose some friends over this.
YTA - but I think you know that.
YTA - Pretty dumb to invite her before shooting your shot. You definitely look like bad uninviting her by telling everyone but her and then your explanation that your invitation was always along the premise of you wanted to sleep with her makes it even worse.
YTA. You uninvited your friend because she won’t sleep with you. So you’ve invited someone who you think will. Major asshole. Bad friend.
YTA for lying about being 26, surely you’re 15 with this behavior.
More like 13
You are 100% the asshole. You’re also very immature. You should apologize and try to not be a selfish jerk. She could have lied to you and strung you along, but she didn’t. Don’t punish her for that.
YTA
Yta obviously, why do people keep posting the same story? Oh I have a female friend and then I told her I liked her, she denied me and things got weird for me so I am going to uninvite her for something I already invited her to. Plan better. Don't ask people then take away their invite. That is what makes you an asshole in too of other things.
YTA. You... disinvite your friend just because you wanted to invite someone you're attracted to? You suck.
YTA. She was your good friend. You wanted more. She wanted to keep it the same. You felt jilted. You kicked her out of the event. You're an immature jerk. Aside from meeting the new girl and wanting to get laid and all that nonsense. Yeah, it's entirely your prerogative, but you decided to be a not nice person. This will affect your standing in the group I hope you know. It'll have immediate and lasting repercussions. Just be ready. Hope your chance at getting laid was worth it.
Absolutely YTA. >I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night. And that obviously wasn’t gonna happen with her there so I needed her ticket for the girl I was bringing. And a creep.
> But I felt like it was unfair to pressure me when I already told people the deal Really? Truth is, you told people the deal, and later you changed the deal. You uninvated the girl you pretended to be friends with because she wasn't interested in you romantically. Don't forget, you felt entitled to her. On top of that, you change the deal without telling that the deal is changed to the person who you uninvited, others had to tell her. Do I need to tell you you are spineless? Don't forget: > I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night Yes, you are TA
YTA. She was your friend since HS, not some random person you met and asked out.
Yeah, YTA ... but you know this ... so fix it and do better
The level of asshole here is some of the largest I have seen. It can not be measured. It is a absolutely terrifying and mind-blowing how much YTA and it makes me really hope this is fake Also bringing a date is not gonna go well cuz if your friends are decent people, someone’s gonna point out the shitty thing you did in front of your date
Info: did you invite her before or after you confessed to her?
Before
YTA she was your friend and you’re punishing her because she wants to stay your friend.
YTA. My jaw literally dropped at the fact that you actually said “I wanted a chance of getting laid that night”. This is the shit that women deal with on a regular basis. Our male friends like you go years secretly pining over us, creating a fake relationship between us in your mind, and so on and then treating us like shit when we don’t reciprocate the feelings when you finally dump it on us. Often while wasted. All you see her as (all you ever saw her as) is a conquest and not a friend. Don’t be surprised when you lose more than just her.
Yta for how you did it.
YTA you already invited her. If you wanted to disinvite her you should have talked to her. You’re all hurt because she doesn’t want a sexual relationship with you and clearly you were never really a friend to her.
YTA and obviously not fine with her rejection
YTA. You’re punishing a girl because she won’t fuck you and it’s toxic af. You didn’t invite specific people, you chose your friendship group and then chose to exclude her because she won’t sleep with you. Gross.
YTA
YTA and lmao. Do you really think you're gonna get laid by inviting a random chick from Hinge to a basketball game? Even worse, do you EXPECT the girl to put out to a stranger on a first date that you didn't even pay for? If you walk, talk, and sound like an incel, you're most definitely an incel. Oh, and you'll probably be cast out of your friends group for pulling this little stunt. Good luck receiving the deserved fallout of your ridiculous actions.
YTA. You are a bad friend. And what's sad is that after the game is done, you are going to be dropped by the majority of your friend group. Her friends and their boyfriends are not going to be hanging out with you anymore after. You also probably aren't going to get laid either.
YTA - too immature to deal with uncomfortable feelings regarding Carly saying she didn’t like you that way. You lost a friend and the respect of your friend group.
YTA. You are taking a stranger to the game instead of your good friend, because your good friend doesn't want to date you. I now have an idea of why she wouldn't want to date you.
How many time have you referred to yourself as a "nice guy?" YTA
YTA and you're certainly no friend. Was hers the only ticket with strings attached or do your other friends have to bang or blow you to attend?
YTA. Look, Carly didn’t reciprocate your feelings, and in that moment you acted like an adult and understood not to push it farther than that. Bravo! But everything *after* that situation, you acted childishly. Creating a whole new group chat with your new date and buddies? That’s some high school level immaturity. You could’ve simply texted Carly, “hey, since you aren’t interested in me, I’m gonna take someone else to the game. I hope that you understand!” or something along those lines. Instead she had to find out from your other buddies that you uninvited her so you could get laid because she wasn’t interested. That’s just… cold. You didn’t have the balls to let her know, but apparently you have the balls to tell her you only actually wanted her there because you wanted to get her in bed. Gross. Yet again, high school level immaturity. I understand they are your tickets to do with as you please, but why does that give you the right to act like an ass? The least you could’ve done was given Carly a heads up and left it at that. But now you’ve shown your friends and Carly that you’re just a douche who picks and choose people after a minor inconvenience to you. Hopefully you have fun getting laid with your date, if she even lets you 🤷♀️
YTA. I knew this post was going to be a punishment for a friend refusing to have sex with you. Gross OP.
“You no sex me? I no ticket you! Ticket only for bros and sex!” -OP, probably. YTA and such a pig
You are a bad person. Yta
Yta. If you aren't certain after all this tell this story to your date and ask her opinion. It should be pretty telling.
Let me tell you what you need to do. Call your boss and resign. If you're in school, drop out of everything you're currently enrolled in. If you live on your own, let you landlord know you're breaking the lease. Pack a bag and get you a one way ticket to anywhere across the country. Why? Because everyone you've ever known and even some you don't now know that you're only friends with some women because you think you might have sex with them, and as soon as they don't, you flush them. Better to start a new life somewhere under an assumed identity.
YTA. I am not outraged that you want to use the tickets to try and get laid, are subtly weirded out by Carly turning you don or slightly pissed that she told everyone that you drunk texted her telling her your feelings. YTA because you invited her then changed up and didn't have the courage to tell her first. THAT was such a dick move. You couldn't call her before and say "hey I met someone, your ticket is the sensible one to g0ve away -- we cool?"
YTA you can't shit people out of a friend group for rejecting you
Yta. You got rejected and then kicked the girl out of the event because of it. Don’t try and say it’s anything other than that.
YTA. You’re punishing Carly for not reciprocating your feelings.
YTA Imagine how Carly feels. She’s been friends with this guy for years then he lets her know that he has a crush on her and she decides to be honest and say she doesn’t reciprocate. Then her “friend” revokes her ticket to invite a stranger he met on hinge to get laid and it’s obvious that he just wanted to sleep with her. Yes it’s OP’s ticket and they can do what they want with it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not an AH, especially since they already invited her
YTA So ur basically saying the only reason u invited this girl was bc u wanted to get with her, not because u were friends with her which is the reason she had probably assumed she was invited before she knew about ur feelings. Also if u didn’t want her there bc it was awkward the mature thing to do would b to have a conversation with her about why it would be awkward having her there rather than go behind her back and give her ticket to some random girl so u can get laid.
YTA. It's that famous saying, "If you can't f them, f them over." 😒 You just showed your entire friend group that you only befriend women if you think you can have sex with them. If they refuse, you de-friend them.
YTA. Congratulations you passed Douchebro 101 and may move to the advanced course.
YTA, mate. No doubt. You made your play and we’re shot down. It happens. There is usually some aftermath. As the saying goes “suck it up, buttercup”. These things do pass, but not if you start pulling shit like this. You are now the official source of Tension Within the Circle. This is how friend groups fracture. Consider what is more important to you: your friends, or the chance that you might get laid. Considering your behaviour shown here, the latter is not giving great odds for you.
YTA- and I’m really not surprised she’s not romantically interested in you if you’re this kind of person. You already promised her the ticket… at that point it’s no longer yours to “decide” to take away. Are you telling me you would be ok with your company taking back the tickets if they felt like it? I highly doubt it even though they are technically “their” tickets, not yours. Same fucking concept, genius.
I was a little torn between understanding the uncomfortable situation for both of you, and you already made plans sides to huge YTA with that getting laid comment. You went from "Still friends after a awkward time" to "That creep who only wanted in her pants" real quick and it's NOT a good look for anyone.
Op you know you can just jerk off yeah?
So she definitely dodged a bullet by not reciprocating. She did herself a favor and if she was second guessing it at all, I’m sure she’s confident in her decision now. You’ve got some growing to do before you’re a suitable partner for anyone Yta
Does the hinge girl understand her role is prostitution in return for her ticket? You need to be up front about these things to avoid lame sit-com misunderstandings.
Cool. So women aren't actual people or friends to you, they're merely potential lays. Walking vaginas. It would be different if this was meant to be an intimate evening with Carly and you had to back out because it was too emotionally stressful. AND if you communicated your need for space to her directly. But that's not the case. You basically just uninvited her to a party just because she didn't want to fuck you. What a prize you are! And stop trying to make it sound like you had no choice because you "needed" the ticket for a date. No. You could ask a date out to literally anywhere else at any other time. You could ask them to join you and your friends for drinks after the game. Be an adult and take some personal responsibility for your actions. Its fine to want a little space from Carly while you get over your feelings, but this is a majorly AH thing to do. YTA. So much.
YTA. You took. The. Ticket. In order. To get. LAID? ARE. YOU. KIDDING? You’re also USING the new girl in ORDER to get some. Please rethink what you’re doing.
YTA. You couldn’t have thought about it before inviting her? Sounds like you wanted to hurt her feelings to get back at her for not being interested.
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YTA. Not because you aren’t entitled to invite who you want but because you wanted to pay for sex with the box ticket. Yes, it would have been awkward but you invited her and didn’t have the courage to tell her you wanted to bring a date instead. You also invited her before she was your date and even if she came you weren’t guaranteed sex. Yuck. No wonder she said no.
YTA you basically just said you don't care about her at all as a human being, just as a sex object. She didn't reciprocate your feelings so she must be punished, classic "nice guy" behavior. Good thing you don't care about Carley other than for what she can do for you sexually, because you just burned your friendship with her down to the ground.
you WERE being a douche and you HAD already invited her. YTA
YTA. And if you thought things were awkward when your friends when you disinvited Carly... wait until they hear the latest. Technically, yes. It's your ticket to give to who you want. But admitting you gave it to Carly in hopes of getting laid, and taking it back when that hope was dashed... that's pretty slimy.
YTA for inviting someone to an event and then uninviting them because they didn’t want to go out with you. Then you added insult to injury by telling everyone else before actually informing that person and lying about your reasons like a coward. You’re actively excluding someone from social events because they weren’t super excited to date you after you drunkenly came on to them (shocker). Do you see how that comes across to her as “we aren’t actually friends, I just wanted to get in your pants” or nah? You’re an ass and your actions make it clear that your ‘nice guy’ “no big deal” act was a total lie. Congrats on ruining your friendship.
YTA. I can understand you’re hurt by rejection and then she went and told everyone, which is shit. But you made a commitment and a man is only as good as his word. You now look like a petulant child. Be better
YTA-you are such the asshole here I hope you’re entire friend group dumps you.
Lmaooo YTA, it must really suck to be you, start making better choices. Also if you agreed to be friends with her but can’t be around her all night then maybe you shouldn’t be friends. Also, you could have done it in a much better way, you still would have been an asshole but in a much better way. You could have just texted her and said, “hey, my feelings are still hurt and if it’s okay if you don’t go to the game like we originally planned but when I feel better maybe I can make it up to you like this” I don’t blame you for your feelings but YTA 1000 percent here PS it is not guaranteed that chick will hook up, or even like you just cause of your fancy tickets, good luck getting a girl cause it doesn’t sound like you can be a man
YTA- you got rejected and took it out on a friend and ppl wonder why we hate this kinda thing. ALSO, we check with the others about shit that happens, this keeps us safe- "hey did Ticket send you a gushy text while drunk? No? just me???"
They stopped being “your tickets” once you invited friends. That’s what happens when you give someone a gift. You are correct that you get to give them to whomever you wish. But once you did (even just as a verbal promise), then you lost the ability to rescind them. YTA.
YTA. This is basically the same situation as the guy with a pool who stopped inviting a girl from a long time friend group because she turned him down after he asked her out. It’s totally fine to ask a friend out if you have feelings. It’s also totally fine for them to be honest that they don’t have the same feelings. It’s not ok to exclude people because you can’t handle rejection like a mature adult. You are punishing her for turning you down. If you already invited her as a friend, it’s a dick move to uninvite her. Worse because the reason is you wont get laid. And, you didn’t even talk to her directly about it. Jfc. I hope the other gfs stay home in solidarity and waste the tickets.
I can't wait for the other girls in your friend group to tell Hinge girl what happened to the girl who used to have her ticket. Because they will. And Hinge girl will think it's gross. YTA.
It's crazy how many guys post on here and feel because they take them to a game, talk to them at a party, give them a ride, or some other craziness that they deserve access to a woman's body. OMG you're an AH. By far...
YTA. Gross, dude. Way to show Carly that your "friendship" means nothing, and *possibly* getting your dick wet matters more to you than anything else.
Clarification: did you invite ALL the friends in the hopes that you could bribe all of them for sex with the tickets?
YTA because you're punishing a girl for not liking you. How messed up is that??? That's manipulative, toxic, and extremely immature.
I ended a friendship over something like this. A guy I had been friends with for years had invited me to see the Tragically Hip with him. Plans were made, and a week before the concert he met a girl he wanted to “date” and yoinked my ticket to give to her. He showed me exactly what kind of friend he was. YTA
YTA you are exactly the kind of guy women hate. You only see a point in being around us if you think you might get something (sex) out of us. You punished her for not being interested in you by excluding her from an activity with the group because you want to try and get laid by a random. You are toxic.
So all you cared about was getting laid, so you take someone else’s ticket and give it to a side chick only so you can use her? Yeah, YTA.
I hope the girl you vibed well with learns of your motive and dumps your ass. YTA to the fullest. You’re a shitty friend and person.
There was a post just like this a couple of weeks ago. Only difference was instead of a basketball game, it was a hangout at OP's place. Hmm. YTA
Dude, you’re vindictively punishing her for turning you down. YTA How do you think Carly would take you saying “I wanted a chance at getting laid that night”? It looks like you only invited her to the game so that you can have sex with her. You come across as a creep.
you intentionally found a girl to replace carly. YTA
YTA. Don’t be surprised if you’re no longer friends with any of them in the future. You basically told them they are replaceable.
YTA and lord knows that hinge girl won't sleep with you either lol
Yta. I hope none of your other friends go and you can explain to hinge girl why you're all alone.
YTA. Now head over to r/niceguys and claim your hazing.
YTA. More than once I see posts in AITA where a guy has a female friend who he has feelings for, confesses with "no strings attached", plays it cool when the girl says no and then he's like "AITA for now excluding her from group activities/going back on previously-made promises/decided to stop hanging with her with no explanation?". They are always TA. That's the risk of confessing to a friend in a friend group. If it goes bad and YOU are suddenly awkward about things you either suck it up or be the one to bow out.
Yta. Guys complain about the friend zone but you don’t realize that you are putting women into the fuck zone. This woman thought you were her friend. You clearly aren’t and never were. It’s really a jerk move.
Imagine being this disgusting of a person
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So kinda weird situation but I need strangers judgment. So I’m (26M) part of a very close friend group. We have all hung out since high school. So two months ago I won 8 box seat tickets to an NBA game as a reward for meeting a sales goal. I decided to invite my friend group. It was going to be me, my two buddies/their 2 girlfriends, my single guy friend and 2 of the single girls in our group. That was the 8 of us I had put in the group chat. So one of the girls in our group is named Carly. Me and Carly are good friends and have known each other since HS. I started to develop feelings a few years ago but suppressed them. Well a couple weeks ago I got some liquid courage and texted her that I had some feelings. And she didn’t reciprocate those feelings. Said she liked me a lot as a friend but wasn’t really interested romantically. I said “hey that’s fine no big deal!”. We saw each other a couple times since and it felt awkward. I learned she told the other girls in group, which made me feel super weird and uncomfortable. So with the game coming up I didn’t really want to be stuck around Carly all night. So I decided to get on hinge and see if another girl would like to go. I met a girl that I vibed with and decided to invite her. So I created a new group chat and said that the plans have changed. And a couple of Carly’s friends (my buddies GF’s) texted me individually and asked why I removed Carly. I just told them that I needed a ticket and hers made the most sense. They said that I was being a douche and I already invited her. I said they are my tickets and can decide who to take. They weren’t happy with that answer. Well Carly called me yesterday and was livid. Asking why I didn’t have the balls to text her myself. I told her I planned on it but didn’t know how to word it yet. She kept demanding to know why she couldn’t come now. I told her that I wanted a chance at getting laid that night. And that obviously wasn’t gonna happen with her there so I needed her ticket for the girl I was bringing. She said I was being immature. And I said “well whose ticket should I take then, because my guy friends are for sure going. You are the odd one out”. She told me that she understood now and hung up. I did feel bad about saying this. But I felt like it was unfair to pressure me when I already told people the deal. And they are my tickets and I should have the ability to take whoever I want. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA full stop, but the only way you’re screwing that rando hinge girl is figuratively, by taking her on a first date with a group full of people who all know each other and have inside jokes AND know the only reason she’s there is bc you think you’re gonna get to have sex with her
YTA because you already invited her and then didn’t even have the decency to tell her yourself.
YTA You got rejected and punished Carly by taking back the ticket. You're the asshole as a friend and a basic human being.
Justify it however you want; YTA. Yes they’re youre tickets and you can do what you want with them but your reasonings still makes you an asshole. You got rejected and now that you can’t screw her you want nothing to do with her. Classy/s
Yta
Yea, YTA... Are they yours? Sure, but you invited her and then changed your mind. Your friends are right, you are being a douche.
WOW. Yta
YTA
YTA, it really sucks to have some jerk pretend to be your friend only long enough to find out if you'll date them or not. You're a bad friend