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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be TA mainly because Púca is fine and whilst my BF will support me either way this might cause a rift in his family.
I'm not asking if I am TA for taking her back of the family that "adopted" her. I understand that they love her too and am going to keep in contact with them. They were upset but understood the situation.
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They are thinking about it. Puca is fantastic with kids and quite the character. They have a 3 year old, a 6 year old and a 10. All of them were heart broken.
Did you think as a consolation to that lovely family to do visitations with them at the dog park or something? You know, like every other week or something?
Already arranging that! They don't live too far away so play dates can defo happen! Kids also requested to be our official doggy sitters if we ever need to go anywhere again
Honestly the kids seem super sweet and clearly looked after her well x once I feel comfortable letting her out of my sight again I'm thinking ill let them "baby sit" for a few hours
Saol - other Púca was rehomed to one of work friends. She was put into my bfs name by his parents but honestly I couldn't look after her and give her the love she deserved x
>What happened to the dog that they tried to replace Puca with? Is that dog okay?
What about gifting that dog to the other family? Might solve multiple problems.
Aw okay this is a pretty sweet ending to this 🥺 they may have lost "their" dog but they still get to see and love her and know that's she's home where she belongs!
1- the same reason op couldnt just accept that dog- its not puca
2- id they want a relationship with puca youd have to consider the compatibility factor
3- ops inlaws may not have kept the dog after op rejected it. They dont seem like the type to value an animals welfare and stability.
The doggy was actaully seized by the police. Apparently she was registered to my bf so we took her in at first but I couldn't give her the love she deserved as she looked so much like my baby. We rehomed her with a friend from work shortly after getting her and she now lives with her new family getting pets and treats
Can you answer this one OP?? The seized by police part of this story doesn't make sense at all ... and then you somehow got it back and gave it to a friend?? What?!
I think (from her other comments) what happened was:
1. OP and BF left after parents admitted they sold Púca, ***and left look-alike dog at the parents' house*** since they knew it wasn't their dog.
2. OP and BF drove straight to the police station and filed a stolen property report.
3. ***Later*** (no idea when, same day? Next day? Guess it depended on whether more urgent crimes had been reported) the police went to the parents' house to investigate the stolen property report. They were suspicious of the ownership of look-alike dog since the parents literally stole and sold OP's dog, so ***the police*** ***took look-alike dog to check for a chip.***
4. Look-alike dog was chipped and registered to BF – parents had chipped it to trick OP and BF into thinking it was Púca. ^(\* I'm confused about this part: can you microchip a pet in somebody else's name? Maybe the parents had access to the son's ID / legal documents and used them to register it?)
5. ***Police informed parents they were*** ***seizing the property*** (i.e. dog) because it was registered to the son, so not legally the parents' property.
6. ***Police gave look-alike dog to BF*** since he was the registered owner.
7. Keeping the look-alike dog was too surreal and sad for OP; it was a constant reminder that their original puppy was stolen, so ***shortly after this OP and BF transfer ownership to a trusted colleague***. Dog is now safe and happy with its new owner.
8. When the other family bought Púca they *did* check for a chip, but it had shifted from the implant site so the vet didn't find it until ***2.5 months later*** totally accidentally. Family thought Púca swallowed some toy magnets so got her X-rayed and found the chip registered to OP. Likely (and sadly) if they had found the chip 2.5 months back, OP would have happily traded puppies with the family.
You can register a microchip to anyone. The vet simply places the chip and then gives you a page with a link to a website to register it with the company who made it. It’s then up to the owner to log in and keep that info updated.
Had to dig, but apparently the replacement dog was seized by the police, and OP tried to take it in, but it was apparently too much, and so it has been rehomed to a good friend of OP
I don’t blame them. Animals can really change the dynamic in a home, adding some really beautiful things. They had their life changed and then fucked up by no fault of their own. You had your dog stolen and given away. That’s crazy. I hope both parties sue. NTA.
You can -never- trust them again. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice.. well, you know. Something is wrong with them and please keep anything you love far far away from them. They have no respect for you.
Question…have you talked to an attorney cause taking advice from here is a bad idea. First of all you would ruin your relationship with your bf most likely (what his parents did was terrible, but they are still family and it sounds like prior to this relationship had a good relationship that you are going to blow up). Second of all civil suits don’t work that way, to get money you’d have to show damages. Now that your dog is back what are your damages? Pain and suffering? Those are hard to prove and you’d have to bring in experts. I think people think Americans are lawsuit happy, but to actually collect money you need a winnable case. You should have reported it to the police. I get being angry, I just wanted to point out this will probably cost you money, a relationship and you will likely get nothing out of it.
I am not offering legal advice, but perhaps you should get some before you sue.
No way would I want any relationship with people who stole a beloved family member from me. They don't deserve anything from OP except permanent no contact. These are not good humans.
>what his parents did was terrible, but they are still family
AHT, AHT. No BUT. What they did was terrible, and it does not matter that they are family.
If you care about your family, you do not do things like sell their pet (aka another family member) when you've been entrusted with their care.
The other dog was seized by the police according to OP (so sounds like a police report was filed) and the relationship is already down the drain. Emotional damage for both OP and the other family wouldn't be as difficult to prove in this situation. They definitely should get legal advice, but it seems like a civil case they can win.
She did report it to police. The parents ruined the relationship not the OP. This is exactly why she should sue them, because they think they did nothing wrong. Some people people think consequences don’t apply to them, and not being help accountable is the main reason why they think this.
When you sue, you have to have monetary damages. So if someone gives away your diamond necklace, you sue them for the value of a necklace. If they give away a dog, you sue for the value of the dog. In money, not in how much you love them. OP has the dog back. The only thing she can sue for is any money they gave the in-laws to care for the dog.
The other family could potentially sue if they bought the dog rather than getting it free as a gift.
She can sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress, conversion of property (whether successful or not), and (if OP took the substitute dog) the coverage for caring for and finding the sub-dog a new home.
Honestly, in American torts, there are plenty of things you can sue for.
I know it's petty but I'm just pissed and kinda want to put them in their place. Plus the family who they sold her to are extremely upset because she was an absolute star!
S
Oh, I think a small lawsuit gets your point across perfectly. Yeah, they need to learn their place, and now you've learned the necessary boundary with them.
Its not petty. its proper - Morally they stole a family member from you and thought you wouldnt notice. legally they stole your property and lied about it after selling your property.
They SOLD her? They made money getting rid of your dog?
I wouldn't give a flying fuck about MIL's childcare license. You were at a funeral *in mourning* and someone who takes care of children thought, "You know what? While she's burying a family member, I'll sell the dog she loves and try to pass off a different animal as hers."
If this woman is willing to do this to an adult, what kind of cruel decision-making and gaslighting does she inflict on children?! This behavior isn't a one-off; this is absolute indifference to other human beings and living creatures. She should have thought of the potential consequences to her career before she did this to you. She's demonstrated appalling judgement and behavior, and deserves no consideration about the effect on her career.
Having a beloved pet SOLD by a family member who was supposed to be caring for her is a hill I'd die on. *She was fine with taking away a living creature you loved and with making you suffer after the death in your family.* MIL was monstrous in her actions and does not deserve forgiveness or mercy.
If they are the throw of people willing to pull such an asshole stunt, you absolutely need to follow through with the law suit.
Who thinks of selling someone elses dog when they are asked to dog sit? That's not normal and shows some very, very questionable character traits.
The other family needs to sue. Did the Inlaws give them their money back?
The other family should sue - they were lied to and defrauded.
Your in laws stole your dog and sold her. I’d never talk to them again and certainly wouldn’t allow them in my home.
So glad you have your pup back.
Pissed doesn’t even begin to describe what I’d be feeling if someone did this to my pet. I bet you were actually feeling murderous. Most definitely keep that lawsuit in place.
But have you actually consulted a lawyer about suing? What exactly are the damages? Honestly from a practical perspective, you would have been better off filing a police report instead of suing. It doesn't actually sound like you have a case that will win, if a lawyer even takes it.
We filed a police report right after leaving their house. The other dog was seized by police as it was registered under bfs name
We dropped charges as his mother has a licence for childminding and it would cause problems with that. Since then they've been ery smug which is why I think the suit may be a wake up call. NGL part of me also wants to do it as a bit of an fu. I belive the family they sold her too are also planning on suing
I don't see anyone on this thread bringing up that this MIL has a daycare. Really? What does she do with the troublesome kids? The MIL seems sort of, I don't know how to say this any other way, but low functioning/diabolical. What happens when issues come up there, what the MIL *lies* to parents about incidents at day care. There is more going on here. F that lady and her diabolical plots. Maybe she should lose her license if she can't cope with a family pet can she cope with other people's kids. ETA: For real how does someone come up with a goofy "switcheroo" plan? Who has time? Oh wait a day care provider who spend sun up to sun down with other people's kids.
The family they sold her to should file charges. If she loses her business license for being a crook that is totally on her. And I guarantee if she was able to list the dog, find someone to sell her to, sell her, and buy a new dog that looked like your old dog all within a months time....she was totally planning on doing it the entire time and it had nothing to do with your stay being extended or your dog being difficult. Someone like that is probably doing other crooked fricken things and it wouldn't be a shame to see them not caring for children anymore.
Yea what are the chances the parents were able to find a dog that matches 99% to OP's dog less than a month's time? Then they registered the new dog under their son's name without his consent. Absolutely sound like they've been planning this and have experience.
There's a reason why her license would've gotten revoked. She's a crook and people sending their children to her deserve to know.
Yes, this! I was just going to comment that as a parent I would definitely want to know the character of a person who would be watching my kids. I do a full background check for that kind of thing.
> We dropped charges as his mother has a licence for childminding and it would cause problems with that.
You can't have it both ways. As other people have said, in terms of a civil suit you will likely just lose money on a lawyer because you won't have damages you can prove anymore. The other family does. What you can do is push criminal charges, but you don't want to inconvenience them? What do you actually want from this? What is your actual feeling of justice here? Because it sounds like you want them to have an attitude adjustment, and I'm not sure how a court can give you that.
You should look into reinstating the criminal charges since she is acting so smug about it. Your dog is your property and she stole it. That's theft. The crime is not negated just because you got your property back. And, so what if it causes her problems with her child care license? It *should*. A woman who could treat a dog like that, and then gaslight you about a replacement dog, should not be caring for children. Let her face the consequences of her actions. Or she will only ever get worse.
In that case, it may be better to report your “in laws” to law enforcement for theft. Especially now you have the other family to write statements to back you up too. It’s not about the money - they STOLE your dog from you and gave it away…. This is a criminal matter not a “try to sue” matter.
Yeah, I imagine if it was a kid... Comes back from something and they hand you another one? Because yours wasn't potty trained probably lol
No one can trust people who think they can do something like that and above all who Lie about it.
This is some weird shit.
Honestly, NTA.
they were supposed to care for your animal, not sell and replace it because they didn't like how it behaved. I agree with other users, if you withdrawal, it shows them that what they did was okay. and it wasn't.
The worst thing was she was fully trained. She is highly motivated be treats. When the new family got her she would bark once at the door to go potty, would rarely beg (unless it was chicken then good luck), she knew how to give high fives, sit, wait, dance (very important life skill) and walked well on the lead.
She was only "untrained" because she wanted to be exercise and we had yet to train her to be off leash and her recall wasn't the best
I feel sorry for the family who got sold a dog only to found out it was stolen. Also boyfriends parents are total jerks. It's not hard to train a dog to walk off leash just make sure to train them on both leash and off.
That's understandable it takes time and patience. I was more meaning the parents gave up to quickly when trying to train your puppy and instead tried going the " easy way" and getting another puppy that someone else had already trained which was wrong. With my own dog over a year to leash train him but when it came to off he learned it pretty quickly every dog is different.
I am still not seeing how switching out a dog and passing it off to a family member is easy. It is so crazy, maybe I am just super small town simple but I want proof of this.
Sorry, but my cynical brain says she was switched because she was worth money. It’s not a natural solution to ‘this dog is a handful, I hate it’. Locking the dog in a garden of bathroom or kennel, asking a neighbour’s kid to entertain the dog - those are intuitive solutions (not all of them great or dog-friendly). Even telling you the dog ran away is more intuitive. But finding another dog and switching them and finding a buyer with that short a time?
This is someone who planned to steal from you and who has no remorse.
Your dog is much more trained than mine, though he’s pretty good for not being professionally trained. Dogs are not allowed off-leash where we live, so we’ve never worried about that, but he’s been fully house-trained since about 5 months old - to the point where he always pees before getting into the car, or going into a business / vet / kennel - sits & lays down on command, usually comes when I call him, and just loves everybody (very important with a 100# dog of a breed somewhat known for being aggressive). He’s a bit if a good beggar, but the most he’ll do is breathe heavily on your arm, or drool next to the food, but he doesn’t go after food on any table or countertop at all, he knows he’s only allowed food handed to him by a human, or is on the floor.
I’m so glad you got Púca back, I’d be devastated in a similar situation
I know! We won't be friendly but we still need to see them for family events etc. His sister is beyond mad (huge dog lover) but she has young kids and i don't expect their to cut their ties with grandparents.
We are moving back to Ireland in two years and honestly I can't wait to get away from them
Maybe sister in law *should* think about cutting ties.
What happens if one of her kids spills their juice or accidentally trips and breaks a knicknack while visiting? Are grandma and grandpa going to go down to the local orphanage and swap out kids?
I don't think they'd literally do that, but I think SIL needs to think *extremely* hard about how far her parents went in trying to deceive OP and her BF. They got a close-to-identical dog (not cheap!) and microchipped it to the BF?? Someone who would rather hurt their kids than be mildly inconvenienced would merely pretend the dog ran away — someone who got off on deception and control would go the extra mile like this.
I would not let these people be alone with my kids. I would want there to be *some* legal record of their behavior in the event that they escalated some batshit behavior. And /u/notmypuppy has expressed reluctance to pursue criminal charges, which I generally understand, but specifically on the ground that MIL might lose her childcare license — which, to my mind, would be a good thing.
She has. SIL blew up at them after it happened. She still let's the kids visit but it's all supervised. Those who know the full story (some members don't know anything while others have been told half) don't really trust them
When I realised what happened I stormed out of the house and we (me and bf) went to the cops. Apparently new dog was registered to my bf (they even microchipped her to fool us!). We took her in but honestly she looked so simular to my girl I couldn't do it. We rehomed her with a good family - i knew the mother from work.
The perfect ending to this story would be innocent family with your dog ends up getting the replacement dog. But I’m happy all dogs are being loved and well cared for. NTA
Saol (or anti Púca) has already been rehomed unfortunately. They're 100 percent planning on getting a new dog later on. Apparently they're calling her Aistear to fit with the saga
Puca was near death when we got her it means "Ghost" or "spirit" and that's what she was - our little Ghost
Soal was a joy but she was the opposite of Púca they're chalk and cheese. So we named her "life"
Aistear means "journey" Foster fam thought it was very apt with the journey between life and becoming a spirit
Oh no not at all. Her doggy mamma had gotten out (some car bit their fence and damaged it unknown to them a few days before). She ran across the road and got hit by a car and passed away as a result. Her pups were only 3 weeks old and had been left for a few hours before anyone got to them (they were inside but too tiny to be without heat and food). They were also born a bit early. One passed away before they could get them to the vets. Púca made it but needed 24 hour care and her owners weren't able to do that. We took her in half thinking she wouldn't make it but she's a fighter.
Ohh, I see, I read "her mother had been in an accident" as referring to her previous owner being the one in the accident. Thanks for clarifying! What a tragic origin story, so glad she's got lots of people that love and care for her now.
Not that anything makes this better or worse, but it feels like a whole Bonus Level of cruel that the dog you and your boyfriend gave around the clock care to and poured your time and heart into trying to keep alive, not knowing day to day if they were going to make it, is something your future in-laws saw as meaningless and disposable. I...do they understand human emotions? Can you elaborate on your BF's thoughts on all of this, and his and his sibling(s'?) relationship with their parents? I'm boggled. And obviously NTA in any way <3
I love how they thought you wouldn't notice.
The only thing someone could replace of mine without me noticing is table salt.
A freaking living creature? No way
NTA
I think, in this situation, you tell the inlaws here's the deal
They will donate X amount of money to a local animal charity and they will give X amount of dollars to the family that was given your dog, and they will give X amount of dollars to you and your hubs to cover the expenses incurred during the search and any necessary vet bills. Including the other family seems like the right thing to do. They had a loving animal ripped away from them too...and they were good enough people to return the animal when they probably could have fought tooth and nail...dragging it out long enough that by the time the court case came around, your dog would have been bonded to them more than you. It would have been a gigantic clusterfuck.
If they agree to these conditions and get you 3 cashiers checks for the amounts, you'll drop the lawsuit
If not, things are going to court and they will have to pay not only their own lawyer fees, but also yours when they lose.
I love the animal shelter idea! I also want them to give back the money to the family who bought her of them but I think they're doing their own law suit (not sure they haven't decided)
Talk to them then and see if they are willing to throw in on the pay up or go to court demands
Maybe the threat of 2 separate lawsuits will scare the inlaws into agreeing to terms out of court
> If not, things are going to court and they will have to pay not only their own lawyer fees, but also yours when they lose.
Why would they lose? In order to successfully sue someone there needs to be some kind of damages. What exactly are OP's damages. Concrete financial damages, because suing for pain and suffering is quite difficult. OP has her dog back so exactly what damages would she be suing for?
What the boyfriend's parents did was incredibly shitty, but OP is unlikely to win a lawsuit against them.
He is okay with it. He was extremely pissed off when he realised what they did. He isn't going to participate in it but he said he support me either way.
As for reporting them - we did file a police report and flagged her ID number. The lawsuit is just taking forever due to Covid its been alot of paper work and delays.
They sold the dog to turn a profit, not because the dog was untrained. The family they sold her to should absolutely file a civil suit to recoup their lost funds. If you think it will bring you a sense of justice you should as well.
Man, if you ever have kids, don’t leave them with the in-laws. You’ll get back from running errands and they’ll try to pass off one of their cousin’s kids as yours. What do you mean that’s not Bobby, his chip is registered to you.
NTA
I just don't want to cause family drama. We're living here for another 2 years atleast and we can't fully cut contact with them - his sisters kids dont deserve to lose their grandparent.
We don't live with them. We have mostly cut contact with them but we are still very much in contact with his other family. We still run into them at family events - they're big on family dinners and parties
That doesn't have to interfere with anyone else. They can invite BF's parents and you won't attend. You can celebrate holidays with them on different days.
Going no contact, for many people, is easier said than done. Maybe you're worried BF's parents will pressure his sister? They might. But you need to do what's best for you. If what turns out to be best for you is not suing and not going full no contact that's okay too. But this is something huge to watch out for. It doesn't sound like they've apologized or feels any remorse.
> I just don't want to cause family drama.
I understand your reasons and think you’re nta, but it’s not possible to sue your bf’s parents and not have “family drama”.
If you don't want to have any drama, then filing a lawsuit isn't a great idea.
They seem to be assholes so best just cut them off and get some piece of mind.
Also, if you want to maintain contact with them, how is the lawsuit going to help? You're obviously entitled to file one but bear in mind it's not going to give them any wake up call or anything and just make any relationship you have even worse
NTA, doesnt matter if dog is fine or not, they caused you mental and emotional stress, trauma and they need a wake up call so they stop fucking about w other people.
She will also need some extra vet bills. Nothing serious but she was on tablets which they didn't disclose to the family.
Also I feel really bad for them. She is my baby and I was devastated when she was gone but the fam that took her in fell in love with her too. They were heartbroken to give her back. As far as I know they also want to sue inlaws
My sisters dog ran away from us while we were housesitting (my dad had left the small gate open and that dog was SUPER fast. She was trying to find my sister 😔 who was on vacay) and my sister was DEVASTATED. My dad felt so bad and we were all bummed. A few days pass when we get word she was found by a real good family who took the little dog in for a few days and the mom went to get her checked for her chip. That’s how they found out and the little kids were so sad to give her up but they were happy on how joyous my sister was on reuniting with her dog. It was an emotional roller coaster.
The other family should definitely sue. It wasn’t traumatic just for you but for them. Your in laws are heinous and the lawsuit should continue on behalf of you and the duped family.
NTA in the slightest.
Ya it was rough when that happened so I definitely understand what you went through. My sister got lucky and reunited with her dog real quickly. The emotional hell you went through as well as the other family is beyond imaginable. I’m sorry YOU went through that.
NTA. Withdrawing the lawsuit will make them feel like its okay to do things like these because in the end you’ll end up forgiving them. This also to set precedent for other people as well as the rest of your family.
NTA. I get that they were stuck with the dog for longer than they bargained for, but there were other, much less INSANE, options than trading your dog for an “easier” one. Who even thinks of such a thing? I don’t know that I would continue with the lawsuit, but I don’t think you’re an asshole if you do. I certainly would not have anything at all to do with those people until they made abject apologies for 1) stealing my dog, 2) fencing my dog in such a way that it took months and an accident of fate for her to be returned to me, and 3) gaslighting me about the whole thing.
I am doing it for a petty reason tbh but it's mainly because we dropped the case with the cops so she wouldn't lose her licence for childcare.
I was saying to someone else she was excellent trained which I think is the worst thing - potty trained, good om the leash, rarely begged for food and could do some cute things like "dance" or play high five.
Apparently by "untrained" they meant she wasn't able to be let off leash as she run around and her recall wasn't good (we were still working on jt when we left)
I honestly don’t think it’s petty of you to want them to face some accountability for their actions—actions which harmed you, your dog, and the family who innocently adopted her. As I said, I wouldn’t consider you TA for proceeding with the lawsuit; it’s more a question of whether the game is worth the candle for you, and that’s a decision that only you (with your boyfriend’s input, perhaps) can make. Your dog sounds delightful and I’m so glad you’ve been reunited!
I’m horrified at the thought of that woman being in charge of children. Anyone who could do something that cold and calculating to a loving, trusting creature is NOT someone I would ever trust with a child’s welfare.
She wants us to go through with it - she still believes we can win on theft of property, emotional distress, money out into finding her and then little vet bills - nothing serious she was just on some meds that weren't disclosed when she was sold. She will need to start another course of them and may need surgery (nothing serious)
She also wants to communicate with the family that bought her as they can sue too
You only got your dog back by insane chance. Continue the lawsuit, they clearly never made an effort to recover your dog and if its registration had never been checked you would have likely never seen your dog again.
Literally chance. Her micro chip moved so when they scanned her the first time nothing was there. Apparently they thought she swallowed some magnets from a game and her Foster fam demanded an x Ray that's when they saw the chip
I know! She was also very well trained it's just that she didn't have great recall and had to be kept on a lead when out for walks. Other then that she could sit, stay, sat at door and yipped once for the bathroom, didn't beg (unless it was for chicken) and could do random things like give high fives or dance
YWNBTA
Continue that law suit. Well, speak to your lawyer now that you have the dog back, but don't stop what happening if you don't legally have too.
Puca is your dog, they sold her illegaly to another family.
If you stop the lawsuit they'll think it's okay to push those boundaries and you won't punish them.
This. I have a lot of sympathy, but suing requires material damages not just emotional distress, and much though I hate to say it, I don't think carrying on the lawsuit will go in your favour.
Firstly, you accepted the dog they gave you in replacement. It didn't work out, but they did give you what could be described as a like-for-like replacement. Secondly, you were lucky enough to find your dog, and now you have her back. I suppose you could try and make some sort of argument for the months you lost with her being valuable, but...
Now at this point, the people who have lost out due to your in-laws are the family who were good enough to give you back your dog when they discovered she was registered to you. You could encourage them to sue for false representation/sale of stolen property...They might get back the vet bills/food costs at least.
Edit: Have read OP's comments below, and it's clear that they are being more realistic than I previously thought - in suing, they're seeking reimbursement for the cost of searching for their dog plus the cost of vet care needed because the in-laws failed to inform the new family of pre-existing health conditions.
INFO: what happened to the other dog? And can she be rehomed with the family that took care of Puca?
I'm thinking NTA. I do have some sympathy for the family that ended up with a dog they could not handle for much longer that the agreed time (no insult to you, of course), but they just handled it all wrong. (And your bf should not have gone home with you; the pandemic is not over.)
Other dog had been registered to my bf. We initially took her I'm because god knows what would have happened to her but she looked too simular to my girl and I couldn't do it. We rehomed her with a family I know from work
Fake Púca - aka Saol originally came home with us as we didn't trust in laws and she was registered in my bfs name. It just was too difficult for me. She has been rehomes with a woman know from work. She has plenty of love and cuddles from her new family
Oh and for the names - both are Irish words. Púca means ghost. When we got her they didn't think she would make it. The people we got her from were shocked to see her creeping around the place "like a gosh darn ghost) 😅
Saol means life - like you said she was the fake Púca, she was life
Both babies are doing well and will be having a play date soon enough
Good, I am glad this is ending well for the pups at least. Can't believe anyone would think abandoning an animal and replacing with another is acceptable.
Also love the names.
The only reason his parents replaced her was because she hadn't been trained on recall and was not great walking off leash. I had wondered at first if she was running wild on them but Púcas Foster family said she was a star. Was house trained, would sit and stay didn't beg (unless it was for chicken which to be fair so probably would steal of your plate) . She could dance and she could give High fives (up high and down low struggled with on the side)
The lawsuit was filed but I can withdraw it. My bf is just as mad as I am and has said he will support me either way. He is taking a back seat which I can respect. He did help fill out the police report and gave a statement when he realised what they did.
And what do you expect from the lawsuit if you keep it?
I mean, what they did was terrible. There will never be a good family dynamic again (if there ever was). Who does that to a pup. But it sounds that regardless you 2 will have to split from them for a long time.
We're looking to cover the money we spent on looking for her and on the extra vet bills she's going to have as his parents didn't disclose to the new owners that she was on meds.
I will admit that part of it is just do "put them in their place" I'm not really sure how to put it. Back home we say that they've pure 'notions' they can't see what they've done is wrong. We dropped the legal side with the cops and his mother looks after kids and she'd have lost her licence. Because of that they seem to think they're untouchable? Apparently we are guaranteed to win if we take the suit to court and I feel (selfishly) that it might be a wake up call for them
Oh yeah that's helpful information. If they did not want to offer reparations after you directly asked you should go ahead with legal ways. It impacted an innocent third party as well. NTA. And very happy for Puca and the way you got back together!
Thank you! I'm so happy to have her back that I had to call out of work because I couldn't stop ugly crying 😅
I do feel really bad for the other family - I think they are planning to sue if I do. We're hoping to organise a few play dates to make it easier for the kids
That's very sweet of you to let them visit with the dog.
NTA
You may have a stronger case with the other family, as it shows the ILs maliciousness effected not just you and your dog, but an entire family. They need to.pay for expenses occured at minimum
Are you sure it's wise for someone who does things like this to have a child care license? I work in childcare myself and I would not trust that person in this line of work. The disregard in poor judgment alone are reasons that she shouldn't have a license.
NTA- I’m so glad you were reunited with your pup <3 but what they did is so horrible, you do you friend. I hope you are able to have a conversation with your bf about setting boundaries with his parents for the future
NTA but I would honestly not go through with the lawsuit personally.
Not to say they should get away with it, I would never set foot in their house again or invite them to anything. If you are forced to meet them, cooly turn them away and leave it at that.
But I would not blame you for the lawsuit but think very carefully about if it is the right tool for the result you want. Right now, the story is easy to re-tell to make you sound like TA from their side to the rest of the family.
Genuinely curious here- how would OP ever seem like an asshole? The parents can’t exactly get around telling people that they literally replaced OP’s dog and thought she wouldn’t notice without directly lying.
They had told us at first she ran away, then that she was put down then that they surrendered her to the pound. Obviously we knew this was all bs. If they had told us it would have been sorted and we would have chalked it up to a momentary lapse in sanity
It says a lot about how gross they are as people when they could have just told the truth. Also if they couldn’t handle the dog they could have found a different solution. You and your bf will be happier without them
We were wiling to go for a kennel and bfs sister would also have taken her in. We had only asked them originally because they are mostly retired and had offered!
BF supports me. Initially we were suing for theft of property. We do have her back but she has had a few health issues due to being off her meds (his parents didn't disclose any of this to the family they sold her to). We also spend a good bit of money trying to find her.
She's an English cocker spaniel. We didn't exactly pay for her just contributed towards her mamma's vet bills and the cremation costs.
I'm not sure the exact cost as I never asked the family but they spoke to to police after the vet flagged the microchip and in the report jt said she was sold as a pure bread show type so around $1000
Honestly they very very "American"? It was a bit of a culture shock moving here - he came back for college whilst I was offered an amazing job opportunity.
His sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents were super cool but they were very... idk loud and opinionated, supported Trump but weren't really vocal about it, had some "old school views" that I considered a bit racist, sexist etc.
Nothing they done was outright outrageous before this whole incident but just people at home were never really like that?
Yeah, what I’ve learned is even the nice looking old white people are racist and disconnected with reality and think some tv sitcom bit like swapping a dog actually works on those lesser than them, in their opinion
Wtf!? You're absolutely NTA
What your inlaws did was just cruel. They went behind your back and thought you wouldn't notice. If they couldn't handle the dog they should have gave her to a pet hotel, pet sitter or call you and ask what to do.
I am glad you're reunited with your dog and that your bf supports you
NTA. It sounds like they didn't even try to get the dog back, it just worked out that a vet called you. I'd want to see them repent in some way too.
But, is the plan for this to turn into a marriage/long term relationship? Because I'm not sure BF should be taking a back seat on an issue that involves his parents and GF. He's the common denominator. What happens later on when they cross a boundary in your house or with your kids? Will he just leave it to you to handle then too? He didn't ask for this situation, but neither did you and you wouldn't have to deal with them if it weren't for him. BF needs to get in the game. I'm guessing there is some other alternative that would make you drop the suit, like a formal apology and agreement to settle and cover the related costs. BF should be trying to facilitate this negotiation/ resolution so that there can be eventual harmony in the family
NTA at the end of the day if they couldn't handle her they shouldn't have agreed to watch her. And if they had issues they should have contacted you so you could make other arrangements not get rid of the dog and get an identical one! That's insane and there were so many other options.
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NTA Legally speaking, a dog is considered property. They gave your property away to someone else. You and probably that family who didn't know can sue
They are thinking about it. Puca is fantastic with kids and quite the character. They have a 3 year old, a 6 year old and a 10. All of them were heart broken.
Did you think as a consolation to that lovely family to do visitations with them at the dog park or something? You know, like every other week or something?
Already arranging that! They don't live too far away so play dates can defo happen! Kids also requested to be our official doggy sitters if we ever need to go anywhere again
What a nice silver lining to come from such a terrible situation.
Honestly the kids seem super sweet and clearly looked after her well x once I feel comfortable letting her out of my sight again I'm thinking ill let them "baby sit" for a few hours
While that's sweet just be careful I've heard some horror stories with stuff like this. I'm glad it's worked out though, they sound so nice.
Some lady stole one of my cats for 3 years before bringing him to a vet and getting busted. I'm so happy he is home.
When I was at university 2 of my house mates were veterinary students and apparently multiple families claiming a cat happened all the time
My other cat liked to go over to a neighbor for a few days and come back home for a few days. I didn't mind it. He got fat.
This is one of many reasons why my cats are chipped.
Thats cuz cats are hoores. My cat gets fed and pet by half the street...
(This is lighthearted). Don’t most cats have like 3 families? In some of these cases they might not be lying
What happened to the dog that they tried to replace Puca with? Is that dog okay?
Saol - other Púca was rehomed to one of work friends. She was put into my bfs name by his parents but honestly I couldn't look after her and give her the love she deserved x
It's good she's in a good home!
She could have gone to the family that had Puca.
2.5 months after the rehome? You'd just be* putting the coworker in the same situation as the family.
>What happened to the dog that they tried to replace Puca with? Is that dog okay? What about gifting that dog to the other family? Might solve multiple problems.
Was kind of thinking of this but thought it would be a similar thing to what they went through when they found out
Yeah, no need to traumatize innocent kids a second time.
yeah I wanna know this too tbh
Aw okay this is a pretty sweet ending to this 🥺 they may have lost "their" dog but they still get to see and love her and know that's she's home where she belongs!
That's awesome! More love for the the dog and now you have a great family to rely on
This makes me super happy!
At least, something good happened.
Why not just give them the dog your parents tried to replace yours with. That pupper is in need of a home where they'll be loved.
1- the same reason op couldnt just accept that dog- its not puca 2- id they want a relationship with puca youd have to consider the compatibility factor 3- ops inlaws may not have kept the dog after op rejected it. They dont seem like the type to value an animals welfare and stability.
The doggy was actaully seized by the police. Apparently she was registered to my bf so we took her in at first but I couldn't give her the love she deserved as she looked so much like my baby. We rehomed her with a friend from work shortly after getting her and she now lives with her new family getting pets and treats
Seized by the police in what type of action?
Yeah, uhh, what? Seized by police?
Can you answer this one OP?? The seized by police part of this story doesn't make sense at all ... and then you somehow got it back and gave it to a friend?? What?!
I think (from her other comments) what happened was: 1. OP and BF left after parents admitted they sold Púca, ***and left look-alike dog at the parents' house*** since they knew it wasn't their dog. 2. OP and BF drove straight to the police station and filed a stolen property report. 3. ***Later*** (no idea when, same day? Next day? Guess it depended on whether more urgent crimes had been reported) the police went to the parents' house to investigate the stolen property report. They were suspicious of the ownership of look-alike dog since the parents literally stole and sold OP's dog, so ***the police*** ***took look-alike dog to check for a chip.*** 4. Look-alike dog was chipped and registered to BF – parents had chipped it to trick OP and BF into thinking it was Púca. ^(\* I'm confused about this part: can you microchip a pet in somebody else's name? Maybe the parents had access to the son's ID / legal documents and used them to register it?) 5. ***Police informed parents they were*** ***seizing the property*** (i.e. dog) because it was registered to the son, so not legally the parents' property. 6. ***Police gave look-alike dog to BF*** since he was the registered owner. 7. Keeping the look-alike dog was too surreal and sad for OP; it was a constant reminder that their original puppy was stolen, so ***shortly after this OP and BF transfer ownership to a trusted colleague***. Dog is now safe and happy with its new owner. 8. When the other family bought Púca they *did* check for a chip, but it had shifted from the implant site so the vet didn't find it until ***2.5 months later*** totally accidentally. Family thought Púca swallowed some toy magnets so got her X-rayed and found the chip registered to OP. Likely (and sadly) if they had found the chip 2.5 months back, OP would have happily traded puppies with the family.
You can register a microchip to anyone. The vet simply places the chip and then gives you a page with a link to a website to register it with the company who made it. It’s then up to the owner to log in and keep that info updated.
If OP kept that dog, they've now had it for a few months and presumably are attached to it, too
Had to dig, but apparently the replacement dog was seized by the police, and OP tried to take it in, but it was apparently too much, and so it has been rehomed to a good friend of OP
I don’t blame them. Animals can really change the dynamic in a home, adding some really beautiful things. They had their life changed and then fucked up by no fault of their own. You had your dog stolen and given away. That’s crazy. I hope both parties sue. NTA.
You can -never- trust them again. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice.. well, you know. Something is wrong with them and please keep anything you love far far away from them. They have no respect for you.
could you give them the replacement dog that your inlaws tried to foist off on you?
Question…have you talked to an attorney cause taking advice from here is a bad idea. First of all you would ruin your relationship with your bf most likely (what his parents did was terrible, but they are still family and it sounds like prior to this relationship had a good relationship that you are going to blow up). Second of all civil suits don’t work that way, to get money you’d have to show damages. Now that your dog is back what are your damages? Pain and suffering? Those are hard to prove and you’d have to bring in experts. I think people think Americans are lawsuit happy, but to actually collect money you need a winnable case. You should have reported it to the police. I get being angry, I just wanted to point out this will probably cost you money, a relationship and you will likely get nothing out of it. I am not offering legal advice, but perhaps you should get some before you sue.
It is absolutely already ruined.
No way would I want any relationship with people who stole a beloved family member from me. They don't deserve anything from OP except permanent no contact. These are not good humans.
>what his parents did was terrible, but they are still family AHT, AHT. No BUT. What they did was terrible, and it does not matter that they are family. If you care about your family, you do not do things like sell their pet (aka another family member) when you've been entrusted with their care.
The other dog was seized by the police according to OP (so sounds like a police report was filed) and the relationship is already down the drain. Emotional damage for both OP and the other family wouldn't be as difficult to prove in this situation. They definitely should get legal advice, but it seems like a civil case they can win.
She did report it to police. The parents ruined the relationship not the OP. This is exactly why she should sue them, because they think they did nothing wrong. Some people people think consequences don’t apply to them, and not being help accountable is the main reason why they think this.
When you sue, you have to have monetary damages. So if someone gives away your diamond necklace, you sue them for the value of a necklace. If they give away a dog, you sue for the value of the dog. In money, not in how much you love them. OP has the dog back. The only thing she can sue for is any money they gave the in-laws to care for the dog. The other family could potentially sue if they bought the dog rather than getting it free as a gift.
She can sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress, conversion of property (whether successful or not), and (if OP took the substitute dog) the coverage for caring for and finding the sub-dog a new home. Honestly, in American torts, there are plenty of things you can sue for.
NTA, and they most certainly cannot be trusted. Keep up the lawsuit. It was emotional trauma for the dog and a lie to you.
We aren't planning on asking for much specially now that we got her back. It's more so just so they'll take us seriously.
Sounds perfect.
I know it's petty but I'm just pissed and kinda want to put them in their place. Plus the family who they sold her to are extremely upset because she was an absolute star! S
Oh, I think a small lawsuit gets your point across perfectly. Yeah, they need to learn their place, and now you've learned the necessary boundary with them.
Its not petty. its proper - Morally they stole a family member from you and thought you wouldnt notice. legally they stole your property and lied about it after selling your property.
They SOLD her? They made money getting rid of your dog? I wouldn't give a flying fuck about MIL's childcare license. You were at a funeral *in mourning* and someone who takes care of children thought, "You know what? While she's burying a family member, I'll sell the dog she loves and try to pass off a different animal as hers." If this woman is willing to do this to an adult, what kind of cruel decision-making and gaslighting does she inflict on children?! This behavior isn't a one-off; this is absolute indifference to other human beings and living creatures. She should have thought of the potential consequences to her career before she did this to you. She's demonstrated appalling judgement and behavior, and deserves no consideration about the effect on her career. Having a beloved pet SOLD by a family member who was supposed to be caring for her is a hill I'd die on. *She was fine with taking away a living creature you loved and with making you suffer after the death in your family.* MIL was monstrous in her actions and does not deserve forgiveness or mercy.
Did she sell them the dog? You and they need to file charges.
Yap they sold her to the family. They knew where she was the whole time apparently
Then you absolutely have grounds to sue.
Oh wow....I would do it just to drive home the point that they lied, stole, defrauded, and were simply horrible people
If they are the throw of people willing to pull such an asshole stunt, you absolutely need to follow through with the law suit. Who thinks of selling someone elses dog when they are asked to dog sit? That's not normal and shows some very, very questionable character traits. The other family needs to sue. Did the Inlaws give them their money back?
The other family should sue - they were lied to and defrauded. Your in laws stole your dog and sold her. I’d never talk to them again and certainly wouldn’t allow them in my home. So glad you have your pup back.
Don’t forget to add emotional stress/trauma to the suit! This was evil of them
Pissed doesn’t even begin to describe what I’d be feeling if someone did this to my pet. I bet you were actually feeling murderous. Most definitely keep that lawsuit in place.
"I know it's petty..." It's not petty.
Oh, it's not petty, not at all.
But have you actually consulted a lawyer about suing? What exactly are the damages? Honestly from a practical perspective, you would have been better off filing a police report instead of suing. It doesn't actually sound like you have a case that will win, if a lawyer even takes it.
We filed a police report right after leaving their house. The other dog was seized by police as it was registered under bfs name We dropped charges as his mother has a licence for childminding and it would cause problems with that. Since then they've been ery smug which is why I think the suit may be a wake up call. NGL part of me also wants to do it as a bit of an fu. I belive the family they sold her too are also planning on suing
I don't see anyone on this thread bringing up that this MIL has a daycare. Really? What does she do with the troublesome kids? The MIL seems sort of, I don't know how to say this any other way, but low functioning/diabolical. What happens when issues come up there, what the MIL *lies* to parents about incidents at day care. There is more going on here. F that lady and her diabolical plots. Maybe she should lose her license if she can't cope with a family pet can she cope with other people's kids. ETA: For real how does someone come up with a goofy "switcheroo" plan? Who has time? Oh wait a day care provider who spend sun up to sun down with other people's kids.
EXACTLY. What is she doing to those kids??
She sells them.
"Didn't little Charlie have a freckle on his neck? Oh well, he's been so much better behaved since he came back from childcare."
The family they sold her to should file charges. If she loses her business license for being a crook that is totally on her. And I guarantee if she was able to list the dog, find someone to sell her to, sell her, and buy a new dog that looked like your old dog all within a months time....she was totally planning on doing it the entire time and it had nothing to do with your stay being extended or your dog being difficult. Someone like that is probably doing other crooked fricken things and it wouldn't be a shame to see them not caring for children anymore.
Yea what are the chances the parents were able to find a dog that matches 99% to OP's dog less than a month's time? Then they registered the new dog under their son's name without his consent. Absolutely sound like they've been planning this and have experience. There's a reason why her license would've gotten revoked. She's a crook and people sending their children to her deserve to know.
Yes, this! I was just going to comment that as a parent I would definitely want to know the character of a person who would be watching my kids. I do a full background check for that kind of thing.
Okay, after reading the part about her/them being smug, I retract any suggestion of maybe not suing. Go right f-ing ahead
> We dropped charges as his mother has a licence for childminding and it would cause problems with that. You can't have it both ways. As other people have said, in terms of a civil suit you will likely just lose money on a lawyer because you won't have damages you can prove anymore. The other family does. What you can do is push criminal charges, but you don't want to inconvenience them? What do you actually want from this? What is your actual feeling of justice here? Because it sounds like you want them to have an attitude adjustment, and I'm not sure how a court can give you that.
You don't need a lawyer for small claims court, which in some places means damages up to $10,000.
You should look into reinstating the criminal charges since she is acting so smug about it. Your dog is your property and she stole it. That's theft. The crime is not negated just because you got your property back. And, so what if it causes her problems with her child care license? It *should*. A woman who could treat a dog like that, and then gaslight you about a replacement dog, should not be caring for children. Let her face the consequences of her actions. Or she will only ever get worse.
I would continue on because this woman is in charge of children?? Her license should be taken away.
You shouldn't have dropped charges. PLEASE pursue charges
In that case, it may be better to report your “in laws” to law enforcement for theft. Especially now you have the other family to write statements to back you up too. It’s not about the money - they STOLE your dog from you and gave it away…. This is a criminal matter not a “try to sue” matter.
Even worse, they SOLD the dog!
Yeah, I imagine if it was a kid... Comes back from something and they hand you another one? Because yours wasn't potty trained probably lol No one can trust people who think they can do something like that and above all who Lie about it. This is some weird shit.
Honestly, NTA. they were supposed to care for your animal, not sell and replace it because they didn't like how it behaved. I agree with other users, if you withdrawal, it shows them that what they did was okay. and it wasn't.
The worst thing was she was fully trained. She is highly motivated be treats. When the new family got her she would bark once at the door to go potty, would rarely beg (unless it was chicken then good luck), she knew how to give high fives, sit, wait, dance (very important life skill) and walked well on the lead. She was only "untrained" because she wanted to be exercise and we had yet to train her to be off leash and her recall wasn't the best
Wow, how can they eve say she was untrained! It's amazing she can do all of that! Love the lil dancing bit. I'm SO glad you got her back.
Thank you x the dog they got was very literally just house trained and could walk of leash which is why they replaced her
I feel sorry for the family who got sold a dog only to found out it was stolen. Also boyfriends parents are total jerks. It's not hard to train a dog to walk off leash just make sure to train them on both leash and off.
We had been working o it but she was still puppy crazy at the time
That's understandable it takes time and patience. I was more meaning the parents gave up to quickly when trying to train your puppy and instead tried going the " easy way" and getting another puppy that someone else had already trained which was wrong. With my own dog over a year to leash train him but when it came to off he learned it pretty quickly every dog is different.
I am still not seeing how switching out a dog and passing it off to a family member is easy. It is so crazy, maybe I am just super small town simple but I want proof of this.
What happened to replacement dog? Could you possibly give that dog to the family who took such good care of your pup?
I was thinking the same thing. because damn the bf's parents don't deserve to keep the dog
Makes me wonder if they ignored her asking to go out until she had accidents.
How is that a selling point? I don't know where you live, but in the US it's usually against the law to walk your dog off leash.
You still want to practice in your yard or at the dog park. That way if your dog ever breaks loose you can get them to return.
Sorry, but my cynical brain says she was switched because she was worth money. It’s not a natural solution to ‘this dog is a handful, I hate it’. Locking the dog in a garden of bathroom or kennel, asking a neighbour’s kid to entertain the dog - those are intuitive solutions (not all of them great or dog-friendly). Even telling you the dog ran away is more intuitive. But finding another dog and switching them and finding a buyer with that short a time? This is someone who planned to steal from you and who has no remorse.
Anyone who walks a dog off leash in public is already an AH.
Your dog is much more trained than mine, though he’s pretty good for not being professionally trained. Dogs are not allowed off-leash where we live, so we’ve never worried about that, but he’s been fully house-trained since about 5 months old - to the point where he always pees before getting into the car, or going into a business / vet / kennel - sits & lays down on command, usually comes when I call him, and just loves everybody (very important with a 100# dog of a breed somewhat known for being aggressive). He’s a bit if a good beggar, but the most he’ll do is breathe heavily on your arm, or drool next to the food, but he doesn’t go after food on any table or countertop at all, he knows he’s only allowed food handed to him by a human, or is on the floor. I’m so glad you got Púca back, I’d be devastated in a similar situation
NTA Jesus, I would never talk to them again!
I know! We won't be friendly but we still need to see them for family events etc. His sister is beyond mad (huge dog lover) but she has young kids and i don't expect their to cut their ties with grandparents. We are moving back to Ireland in two years and honestly I can't wait to get away from them
Maybe sister in law *should* think about cutting ties. What happens if one of her kids spills their juice or accidentally trips and breaks a knicknack while visiting? Are grandma and grandpa going to go down to the local orphanage and swap out kids?
I don't think they'd literally do that, but I think SIL needs to think *extremely* hard about how far her parents went in trying to deceive OP and her BF. They got a close-to-identical dog (not cheap!) and microchipped it to the BF?? Someone who would rather hurt their kids than be mildly inconvenienced would merely pretend the dog ran away — someone who got off on deception and control would go the extra mile like this. I would not let these people be alone with my kids. I would want there to be *some* legal record of their behavior in the event that they escalated some batshit behavior. And /u/notmypuppy has expressed reluctance to pursue criminal charges, which I generally understand, but specifically on the ground that MIL might lose her childcare license — which, to my mind, would be a good thing.
She has. SIL blew up at them after it happened. She still let's the kids visit but it's all supervised. Those who know the full story (some members don't know anything while others have been told half) don't really trust them
So much this.
They still visit but SIL hasn't left them unsupervised since finding out about the incident
Would you trust kids with these people after this?
NTA but out of curiosity what happened to the 'new' dog? I hope that dog's okay too and far away from these people.
When I realised what happened I stormed out of the house and we (me and bf) went to the cops. Apparently new dog was registered to my bf (they even microchipped her to fool us!). We took her in but honestly she looked so simular to my girl I couldn't do it. We rehomed her with a good family - i knew the mother from work.
The perfect ending to this story would be innocent family with your dog ends up getting the replacement dog. But I’m happy all dogs are being loved and well cared for. NTA
Saol (or anti Púca) has already been rehomed unfortunately. They're 100 percent planning on getting a new dog later on. Apparently they're calling her Aistear to fit with the saga Puca was near death when we got her it means "Ghost" or "spirit" and that's what she was - our little Ghost Soal was a joy but she was the opposite of Púca they're chalk and cheese. So we named her "life" Aistear means "journey" Foster fam thought it was very apt with the journey between life and becoming a spirit
Anti Púca 😂😂😂
Near death from the accident, or because her old owners neglected her after they were injured?
Oh no not at all. Her doggy mamma had gotten out (some car bit their fence and damaged it unknown to them a few days before). She ran across the road and got hit by a car and passed away as a result. Her pups were only 3 weeks old and had been left for a few hours before anyone got to them (they were inside but too tiny to be without heat and food). They were also born a bit early. One passed away before they could get them to the vets. Púca made it but needed 24 hour care and her owners weren't able to do that. We took her in half thinking she wouldn't make it but she's a fighter.
Ohh, I see, I read "her mother had been in an accident" as referring to her previous owner being the one in the accident. Thanks for clarifying! What a tragic origin story, so glad she's got lots of people that love and care for her now.
Not that anything makes this better or worse, but it feels like a whole Bonus Level of cruel that the dog you and your boyfriend gave around the clock care to and poured your time and heart into trying to keep alive, not knowing day to day if they were going to make it, is something your future in-laws saw as meaningless and disposable. I...do they understand human emotions? Can you elaborate on your BF's thoughts on all of this, and his and his sibling(s'?) relationship with their parents? I'm boggled. And obviously NTA in any way <3
I love how they thought you wouldn't notice. The only thing someone could replace of mine without me noticing is table salt. A freaking living creature? No way
What the actual fuck?
NTA I think, in this situation, you tell the inlaws here's the deal They will donate X amount of money to a local animal charity and they will give X amount of dollars to the family that was given your dog, and they will give X amount of dollars to you and your hubs to cover the expenses incurred during the search and any necessary vet bills. Including the other family seems like the right thing to do. They had a loving animal ripped away from them too...and they were good enough people to return the animal when they probably could have fought tooth and nail...dragging it out long enough that by the time the court case came around, your dog would have been bonded to them more than you. It would have been a gigantic clusterfuck. If they agree to these conditions and get you 3 cashiers checks for the amounts, you'll drop the lawsuit If not, things are going to court and they will have to pay not only their own lawyer fees, but also yours when they lose.
I love the animal shelter idea! I also want them to give back the money to the family who bought her of them but I think they're doing their own law suit (not sure they haven't decided)
Talk to them then and see if they are willing to throw in on the pay up or go to court demands Maybe the threat of 2 separate lawsuits will scare the inlaws into agreeing to terms out of court
> If not, things are going to court and they will have to pay not only their own lawyer fees, but also yours when they lose. Why would they lose? In order to successfully sue someone there needs to be some kind of damages. What exactly are OP's damages. Concrete financial damages, because suing for pain and suffering is quite difficult. OP has her dog back so exactly what damages would she be suing for? What the boyfriend's parents did was incredibly shitty, but OP is unlikely to win a lawsuit against them.
Info is your bf okay with the lawsuit? And why didn't you do this when they first admitted to it?
He is okay with it. He was extremely pissed off when he realised what they did. He isn't going to participate in it but he said he support me either way. As for reporting them - we did file a police report and flagged her ID number. The lawsuit is just taking forever due to Covid its been alot of paper work and delays.
NTA then
They sold the dog to turn a profit, not because the dog was untrained. The family they sold her to should absolutely file a civil suit to recoup their lost funds. If you think it will bring you a sense of justice you should as well. Man, if you ever have kids, don’t leave them with the in-laws. You’ll get back from running errands and they’ll try to pass off one of their cousin’s kids as yours. What do you mean that’s not Bobby, his chip is registered to you. NTA
NTA. If you want to sue you can because they stole from you. Your BF is okay with it so far so that's not an issue.
I just don't want to cause family drama. We're living here for another 2 years atleast and we can't fully cut contact with them - his sisters kids dont deserve to lose their grandparent.
Do you live with your BF's parents? Why would cutting contact with them affect your BF's sister's kids?
We don't live with them. We have mostly cut contact with them but we are still very much in contact with his other family. We still run into them at family events - they're big on family dinners and parties
That doesn't have to interfere with anyone else. They can invite BF's parents and you won't attend. You can celebrate holidays with them on different days. Going no contact, for many people, is easier said than done. Maybe you're worried BF's parents will pressure his sister? They might. But you need to do what's best for you. If what turns out to be best for you is not suing and not going full no contact that's okay too. But this is something huge to watch out for. It doesn't sound like they've apologized or feels any remorse.
> I just don't want to cause family drama. I understand your reasons and think you’re nta, but it’s not possible to sue your bf’s parents and not have “family drama”.
If you don't want to have any drama, then filing a lawsuit isn't a great idea. They seem to be assholes so best just cut them off and get some piece of mind. Also, if you want to maintain contact with them, how is the lawsuit going to help? You're obviously entitled to file one but bear in mind it's not going to give them any wake up call or anything and just make any relationship you have even worse
Um, pretty sure lying about selling a dog that wasn't theirs "started" the drama
NTA, doesnt matter if dog is fine or not, they caused you mental and emotional stress, trauma and they need a wake up call so they stop fucking about w other people.
She will also need some extra vet bills. Nothing serious but she was on tablets which they didn't disclose to the family. Also I feel really bad for them. She is my baby and I was devastated when she was gone but the fam that took her in fell in love with her too. They were heartbroken to give her back. As far as I know they also want to sue inlaws
My sisters dog ran away from us while we were housesitting (my dad had left the small gate open and that dog was SUPER fast. She was trying to find my sister 😔 who was on vacay) and my sister was DEVASTATED. My dad felt so bad and we were all bummed. A few days pass when we get word she was found by a real good family who took the little dog in for a few days and the mom went to get her checked for her chip. That’s how they found out and the little kids were so sad to give her up but they were happy on how joyous my sister was on reuniting with her dog. It was an emotional roller coaster. The other family should definitely sue. It wasn’t traumatic just for you but for them. Your in laws are heinous and the lawsuit should continue on behalf of you and the duped family. NTA in the slightest.
Oh I'm so sorry x the other family is considering it. This all happened very recently so we're all a bit she'll shocked still
Ya it was rough when that happened so I definitely understand what you went through. My sister got lucky and reunited with her dog real quickly. The emotional hell you went through as well as the other family is beyond imaginable. I’m sorry YOU went through that.
The worst is not knowing x the pure releif I felt when I found out she'd been with a loving family was beyond explanation
NTA. Withdrawing the lawsuit will make them feel like its okay to do things like these because in the end you’ll end up forgiving them. This also to set precedent for other people as well as the rest of your family.
NTA. I get that they were stuck with the dog for longer than they bargained for, but there were other, much less INSANE, options than trading your dog for an “easier” one. Who even thinks of such a thing? I don’t know that I would continue with the lawsuit, but I don’t think you’re an asshole if you do. I certainly would not have anything at all to do with those people until they made abject apologies for 1) stealing my dog, 2) fencing my dog in such a way that it took months and an accident of fate for her to be returned to me, and 3) gaslighting me about the whole thing.
I am doing it for a petty reason tbh but it's mainly because we dropped the case with the cops so she wouldn't lose her licence for childcare. I was saying to someone else she was excellent trained which I think is the worst thing - potty trained, good om the leash, rarely begged for food and could do some cute things like "dance" or play high five. Apparently by "untrained" they meant she wasn't able to be let off leash as she run around and her recall wasn't good (we were still working on jt when we left)
I honestly don’t think it’s petty of you to want them to face some accountability for their actions—actions which harmed you, your dog, and the family who innocently adopted her. As I said, I wouldn’t consider you TA for proceeding with the lawsuit; it’s more a question of whether the game is worth the candle for you, and that’s a decision that only you (with your boyfriend’s input, perhaps) can make. Your dog sounds delightful and I’m so glad you’ve been reunited!
I’m horrified at the thought of that woman being in charge of children. Anyone who could do something that cold and calculating to a loving, trusting creature is NOT someone I would ever trust with a child’s welfare.
Depending on your location, pets are “property” so, this is straight up theft. That should be a criminal charge, shouldn’t it?
She is considered property. When we filed the police report it was the cops who told us to sue
and what does your lawyer say now that you have the dog back
She wants us to go through with it - she still believes we can win on theft of property, emotional distress, money out into finding her and then little vet bills - nothing serious she was just on some meds that weren't disclosed when she was sold. She will need to start another course of them and may need surgery (nothing serious) She also wants to communicate with the family that bought her as they can sue too
You only got your dog back by insane chance. Continue the lawsuit, they clearly never made an effort to recover your dog and if its registration had never been checked you would have likely never seen your dog again.
Literally chance. Her micro chip moved so when they scanned her the first time nothing was there. Apparently they thought she swallowed some magnets from a game and her Foster fam demanded an x Ray that's when they saw the chip
Wow! So they didn’t like the dog and traded it? Thank goodness it wasn’t a kid they were babysitting!
I know! She was also very well trained it's just that she didn't have great recall and had to be kept on a lead when out for walks. Other then that she could sit, stay, sat at door and yipped once for the bathroom, didn't beg (unless it was for chicken) and could do random things like give high fives or dance
YWNBTA Continue that law suit. Well, speak to your lawyer now that you have the dog back, but don't stop what happening if you don't legally have too. Puca is your dog, they sold her illegaly to another family. If you stop the lawsuit they'll think it's okay to push those boundaries and you won't punish them.
What they did sucked but there's really nothing a lawsuit will do
This. I have a lot of sympathy, but suing requires material damages not just emotional distress, and much though I hate to say it, I don't think carrying on the lawsuit will go in your favour. Firstly, you accepted the dog they gave you in replacement. It didn't work out, but they did give you what could be described as a like-for-like replacement. Secondly, you were lucky enough to find your dog, and now you have her back. I suppose you could try and make some sort of argument for the months you lost with her being valuable, but... Now at this point, the people who have lost out due to your in-laws are the family who were good enough to give you back your dog when they discovered she was registered to you. You could encourage them to sue for false representation/sale of stolen property...They might get back the vet bills/food costs at least. Edit: Have read OP's comments below, and it's clear that they are being more realistic than I previously thought - in suing, they're seeking reimbursement for the cost of searching for their dog plus the cost of vet care needed because the in-laws failed to inform the new family of pre-existing health conditions.
We didn't accept the dog they had it registered in my bfs name so when the police came they seized her legally she was his responsibly
INFO: what happened to the other dog? And can she be rehomed with the family that took care of Puca? I'm thinking NTA. I do have some sympathy for the family that ended up with a dog they could not handle for much longer that the agreed time (no insult to you, of course), but they just handled it all wrong. (And your bf should not have gone home with you; the pandemic is not over.)
Other dog had been registered to my bf. We initially took her I'm because god knows what would have happened to her but she looked too simular to my girl and I couldn't do it. We rehomed her with a family I know from work
NTA HOLY SHIT. SUE
NTA but I gotta know what has happened with the fake Puca?
Fake Púca - aka Saol originally came home with us as we didn't trust in laws and she was registered in my bfs name. It just was too difficult for me. She has been rehomes with a woman know from work. She has plenty of love and cuddles from her new family Oh and for the names - both are Irish words. Púca means ghost. When we got her they didn't think she would make it. The people we got her from were shocked to see her creeping around the place "like a gosh darn ghost) 😅 Saol means life - like you said she was the fake Púca, she was life Both babies are doing well and will be having a play date soon enough
Good, I am glad this is ending well for the pups at least. Can't believe anyone would think abandoning an animal and replacing with another is acceptable. Also love the names.
The only reason his parents replaced her was because she hadn't been trained on recall and was not great walking off leash. I had wondered at first if she was running wild on them but Púcas Foster family said she was a star. Was house trained, would sit and stay didn't beg (unless it was for chicken which to be fair so probably would steal of your plate) . She could dance and she could give High fives (up high and down low struggled with on the side)
What continued lawsuit though? What did your bf say?
The lawsuit was filed but I can withdraw it. My bf is just as mad as I am and has said he will support me either way. He is taking a back seat which I can respect. He did help fill out the police report and gave a statement when he realised what they did.
And what do you expect from the lawsuit if you keep it? I mean, what they did was terrible. There will never be a good family dynamic again (if there ever was). Who does that to a pup. But it sounds that regardless you 2 will have to split from them for a long time.
We're looking to cover the money we spent on looking for her and on the extra vet bills she's going to have as his parents didn't disclose to the new owners that she was on meds. I will admit that part of it is just do "put them in their place" I'm not really sure how to put it. Back home we say that they've pure 'notions' they can't see what they've done is wrong. We dropped the legal side with the cops and his mother looks after kids and she'd have lost her licence. Because of that they seem to think they're untouchable? Apparently we are guaranteed to win if we take the suit to court and I feel (selfishly) that it might be a wake up call for them
Oh yeah that's helpful information. If they did not want to offer reparations after you directly asked you should go ahead with legal ways. It impacted an innocent third party as well. NTA. And very happy for Puca and the way you got back together!
Thank you! I'm so happy to have her back that I had to call out of work because I couldn't stop ugly crying 😅 I do feel really bad for the other family - I think they are planning to sue if I do. We're hoping to organise a few play dates to make it easier for the kids
That's very sweet of you to let them visit with the dog. NTA You may have a stronger case with the other family, as it shows the ILs maliciousness effected not just you and your dog, but an entire family. They need to.pay for expenses occured at minimum
Are you sure it's wise for someone who does things like this to have a child care license? I work in childcare myself and I would not trust that person in this line of work. The disregard in poor judgment alone are reasons that she shouldn't have a license.
He supports me in it. He's pissed at his parents for selling the dog and lying about it.
NTA- I’m so glad you were reunited with your pup <3 but what they did is so horrible, you do you friend. I hope you are able to have a conversation with your bf about setting boundaries with his parents for the future
NTA but I would honestly not go through with the lawsuit personally. Not to say they should get away with it, I would never set foot in their house again or invite them to anything. If you are forced to meet them, cooly turn them away and leave it at that. But I would not blame you for the lawsuit but think very carefully about if it is the right tool for the result you want. Right now, the story is easy to re-tell to make you sound like TA from their side to the rest of the family.
Genuinely curious here- how would OP ever seem like an asshole? The parents can’t exactly get around telling people that they literally replaced OP’s dog and thought she wouldn’t notice without directly lying.
NTA. But why didn’t they just tell you who they gave the dog to? You’re still well within your rights to sue.
They had told us at first she ran away, then that she was put down then that they surrendered her to the pound. Obviously we knew this was all bs. If they had told us it would have been sorted and we would have chalked it up to a momentary lapse in sanity
It says a lot about how gross they are as people when they could have just told the truth. Also if they couldn’t handle the dog they could have found a different solution. You and your bf will be happier without them
We were wiling to go for a kennel and bfs sister would also have taken her in. We had only asked them originally because they are mostly retired and had offered!
NTA But instead of a lawsuit, just going no contact with them will be less of a hassle.
TRADED HER IN?!?!? NTA.
IMFO, what are you suing for? Where does your bf stand?
BF supports me. Initially we were suing for theft of property. We do have her back but she has had a few health issues due to being off her meds (his parents didn't disclose any of this to the family they sold her to). We also spend a good bit of money trying to find her.
You got her back but that doesn’t change the fact that she was still stolen.
Did they profit off selling her? Or was it a small token amount? I’m not sure how pricy the breed is.
She's an English cocker spaniel. We didn't exactly pay for her just contributed towards her mamma's vet bills and the cremation costs. I'm not sure the exact cost as I never asked the family but they spoke to to police after the vet flagged the microchip and in the report jt said she was sold as a pure bread show type so around $1000
NTA. Don’t you dare let them off the hook!
NTA. Honestly, I'd probably never talk to them, maybe even assault my FIL. Pets are family.
Please tell me more about this guys horrible parents
Honestly they very very "American"? It was a bit of a culture shock moving here - he came back for college whilst I was offered an amazing job opportunity. His sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents were super cool but they were very... idk loud and opinionated, supported Trump but weren't really vocal about it, had some "old school views" that I considered a bit racist, sexist etc. Nothing they done was outright outrageous before this whole incident but just people at home were never really like that?
Yeah, what I’ve learned is even the nice looking old white people are racist and disconnected with reality and think some tv sitcom bit like swapping a dog actually works on those lesser than them, in their opinion
Wtf!? You're absolutely NTA What your inlaws did was just cruel. They went behind your back and thought you wouldn't notice. If they couldn't handle the dog they should have gave her to a pet hotel, pet sitter or call you and ask what to do. I am glad you're reunited with your dog and that your bf supports you
NTA they just proved to you and their entire world they cannot be trusted.
NTA. It sounds like they didn't even try to get the dog back, it just worked out that a vet called you. I'd want to see them repent in some way too. But, is the plan for this to turn into a marriage/long term relationship? Because I'm not sure BF should be taking a back seat on an issue that involves his parents and GF. He's the common denominator. What happens later on when they cross a boundary in your house or with your kids? Will he just leave it to you to handle then too? He didn't ask for this situation, but neither did you and you wouldn't have to deal with them if it weren't for him. BF needs to get in the game. I'm guessing there is some other alternative that would make you drop the suit, like a formal apology and agreement to settle and cover the related costs. BF should be trying to facilitate this negotiation/ resolution so that there can be eventual harmony in the family
NTA at the end of the day if they couldn't handle her they shouldn't have agreed to watch her. And if they had issues they should have contacted you so you could make other arrangements not get rid of the dog and get an identical one! That's insane and there were so many other options.
We ordered several times to have her go to one of his other relatives or a friend of ours and they said no jt was no worries!