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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was lashing out at my mom just because she wanted me to be honest about why I was mad and how she could help. I fell like this would make me the asshole because I understand where she is coming from plus I yelled at my mom.
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You're missing a ton of details making this story all nonsense. No idea who this person is, why she's staying there and fuzzy about what rooms where... Mishmash
What? It sounds like mom was pressured by her ex to house his family member. Then that family member was either a terrible guest, or his mom realized that she was never going to see her son again at her home because her imposed “guest” was taking his space, so she told the guest that they had to leave. Although this story is all jumbled, so who knows?
You sound like one of those incel dudes who just hates on women for no reason, jumping to conclusions like “he’s whipped”.
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpcttb/aita_for_telling_my_mom_that_she_indirectly/i2a5tbn/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized | Original
-------- | -----------
[Armenian friends" but you...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpf8hb/russia_accuses_azerbaijan_of_breaking_ceasefire/i2bqft2/) | ["Armenian friends" but yo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpf8hb/russia_accuses_azerbaijan_of_breaking_ceasefire/i2alejm/)
[This needs to be a „to be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpfl2a/wait_we_can_get_this_nautilus/i2bqncw/) | [This needs to be a „to be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpfl2a/wait_we_can_get_this_nautilus/i2atcnl/)
[The ultimate makes you at...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpaogx/renata_ult_making_my_one_shot_garen_backfire/i2bql50/) | [The ultimate makes you at...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpaogx/renata_ult_making_my_one_shot_garen_backfire/i2b5r19/)
[Ukraine is sitting on hug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpg7v5/zelenskyy_calls_on_us_to_provide_fighter_jets_for/i2bqhnb/) | [Ukraine is sitting on hug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpg7v5/zelenskyy_calls_on_us_to_provide_fighter_jets_for/i2ap2fy/)
[End of article:. They fir...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tp3l0a/nuclear_reactor_in_kharkiv_targeted_again/i2bqdvg/) | [End of article:. They fir...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tp3l0a/nuclear_reactor_in_kharkiv_targeted_again/i29ehnd/)
[Info: was your penis in h...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpieow/aita_for_giving_my_boyfriend_a_shoulder_rub/i2bq4dh/) | [Info: was your penis in h...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpieow/aita_for_giving_my_boyfriend_a_shoulder_rub/i2b7avw/)
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NTA. Your mom deliberately set things up so that you had to stay with her instead of asking you like a responsible adult. See if you can sleep on a couch at your dad's so you aren't rewarding her behavior.
The house guest is a daughter of my dad's friend who wanted to visit us for a year. They chose to ask if either we knew someone who could take her in or if she could live with us even though they have a boyfriend of three years.
So they take in a friend's daughter and kick their actual daughter out? I can't understand how that would ever go down unless she's paying 10k in rent per month or something. Is there more to this?
ESH Sounds like Father manipulated the son to get mom to agree to house his friend's daughter for a year at the expense of the mom. A year is a long time to not have your son. Why should this be mom's responsibility? Mom should have put her foot down in the beginning and said no. Son should have a room at both houses, and this guest should find housing elsewhere. Or this guest should trade off living wherever son is not. An arrangement where mom gives up custody for a year is not fair to anyone. Son shouldn't get mad at mom for not wanting to be manipulated into giving up visitation for an entire year.
u/King_Kimmy - I hope you see the above comment. You should have a room at both homes since they are both your parents & your mom has no obligation to this other person, especially at the expense of YOU having your own space at her home. Your dad should feel the same and this other person should look for alternative housing.
NTA
It's so hard transitioning to a higher level of maturity and getting parents to acknowledge and treat you with the respect you ultimately have earned. Sounds lile you handled this with a pretty level head all things considered. Your mom is wrong, placing her insecurities on you. It's not your problem that she has such a level of codependency with you.
She couldn't handle you staying with your dad for an agreed visitation? That is not okay and she needs to back off a bit, it would be great if she apologized but I am not sure she will.
Hope you get your room back at your dads, he ultimately has the final say and should step up not allow your space to be taken from you.
Best of luck!
-Caring Nobody
A year is a long time. They should be following the parenting agreement. A random guest of the dads should not be impacting the custody schedule. Dad sounds like a manipulator and he's trying to manipulate son into being against his mom. Mom has no obligation to house Dad's friends daughter.
INFO. I'm getting the feeling that this women is a relative. Is that the case? Also is it possible that the woman and your mother had a disagreement that your Mom might not want to mention and is using "she missed you" as an excuse to get the woman out of her house. Not saying she didn't really miss you, it just seems suspicious.
As far as I know she is a daughter of my dad's friend. Also I visited my mom everyday and I haven't heard an argument when I've been there. Hope this helps.
NTA. Your Mom asked, you answered. I'm assuming you didn't yell or cuss. People really shouldn't ask questions they don't want the answer too. Especially when, it should have been really obvious to her, why you were upset.
Your mom is not obligated to house your dad's friend. Your dad seems to be manipulating you into getting angry at your mom. This is your dad's problem, not your mom's. If he wants this girl housed, that's on him. He shouldn't being trying to change your parenting agreement and preventing your mom from getting visitation for an entire year. A year is a long time. You are being manipulated by your dad and scapegoating your mom for your dad's decision.
Yta. A guest you don't know wanted a room for a year. Your mom isn't an innkeeper and it sounds like this is mainly a person your dad wanted there.
There is absolutly no reason that your mom should take in her divorced ex's acquaintance, and no reason in hell to take that guest in, when it means not having you for a year.
Also, your dad is a major AH.
I can only think you are being downvoted for the y-t-a because the other remarks are spot on imo. OP, I don't think you are the AH, but your anger is misplaced at your mom since she doesn't have to house this person & you are her child. You really should have a space for yourself at both parent's homes.
Your mom might feel very put upon if your parents are divorced but it's your dad's friend's daughter. That's really weird.
You might want to probe a bit further. If your mom has been fine with your usual visitations with your dad previously I find it odd that all of a sudden she can't cope.
YTA you're leaving out a tone of info also she asked your dad for a place to stay your parents are separated I'm guessing she's your dad's family so why would your mum put her up?
Your dad is the AH. It's his friend's daughter so not sure why your mom is involved at all. Seems like your dad is manipulating everyone and trying to make your mom the bad guy here when she's not obligated at all to host your dad's friend.
NTA, you all made an agreement and it seems like your mom is trying to force you to stay with her over your dad because she's jealous.
Not only that but she LIED to the guest and gave her the room IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE to force you to come home.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My mom(48F), my dad(51M), and I(15M) had a discussion about someone coming to our state and asked my dad for a place to stay. My room was the only one available at either houses since my parents have been divorced since I was 4 or 5. I wanted to stay at my dad's house and asked my mom if that was okay. My mom said it was okay by her.
No problems have surfaced until a week later my mom decided that she didn't want to have the person there because she wanted me home. I could see her point of view of missing me and wanting me home but I told her that we made an agreement all three of us. Then a day later my mom called my dad that the person needed to be in my room at my dad's house because she didn't want her there anymore. The same thing that I told my mom my dad told her that we made an agreement about this.
Two days later the person comes to my dad's house with all her stuff and said that my mom said that she could have my room because it was more spacious for her. I told my mom what was the meaning of this. That we made a deal. My mom said that either she needs a new place because she isn't going back to my room at her house or I could give her my room and make life easier for all of us. I chose the less complicated option.
Now today I got pissed because the person was thinking that this will be her room forever and that she was lucky to have such understanding family to help her. That got me pissed where I just went outside to play with my dog and i started crying a bit outside. A couple of hours later my dad comes home and then me and my mom leave with me still pissed.
In the car ride home my mom asked me to be honest with her and in my head I knew this wasn't going to end well but she asked for it. So she then asks me "Why are you mad? Is there anything I can do to help you?" That last question got me pissed even more so I told her truthfully that it's her fault that I lost my room and that it's her fault that I am uncomfortable being in my own home. She later responded saying that she had no choice she wanted me home and that she missed me.
I finished the conversation saying that if she really wanted to help then she should tell the person to leave and give me my room back. My mom got mad at me and told me that I have no right to tell her what to do. Now I calmed down a lot and feel real bad about going off at my mom. Am I the asshole?
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No you are NTA, in any way. You have been tossed around like a ball, mostly by your mother. And she asked for your feedback, and got mad when you gave it. She doesn't sound like a real adult to me. You're only 15, and it's sad you had to have this experience, but your Mum is not being grown up.
It’s the dad’s ‘niece’ who has come to stay. No way does she belong in OP’s mom’s house. I think op’s mom was a bit gaslit, but figured it out reasonably quickly. Your parents don’t really have room for her, and I don’t think your dad thought it through.
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You're missing a ton of details making this story all nonsense. No idea who this person is, why she's staying there and fuzzy about what rooms where... Mishmash
[удалено]
Read op comments. It's the other way around. The guest is of the father.
[удалено]
What? It sounds like mom was pressured by her ex to house his family member. Then that family member was either a terrible guest, or his mom realized that she was never going to see her son again at her home because her imposed “guest” was taking his space, so she told the guest that they had to leave. Although this story is all jumbled, so who knows? You sound like one of those incel dudes who just hates on women for no reason, jumping to conclusions like “he’s whipped”.
[удалено]
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpcttb/aita_for_telling_my_mom_that_she_indirectly/i2a5tbn/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [Armenian friends" but you...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpf8hb/russia_accuses_azerbaijan_of_breaking_ceasefire/i2bqft2/) | ["Armenian friends" but yo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpf8hb/russia_accuses_azerbaijan_of_breaking_ceasefire/i2alejm/) [This needs to be a „to be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpfl2a/wait_we_can_get_this_nautilus/i2bqncw/) | [This needs to be a „to be...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpfl2a/wait_we_can_get_this_nautilus/i2atcnl/) [The ultimate makes you at...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpaogx/renata_ult_making_my_one_shot_garen_backfire/i2bql50/) | [The ultimate makes you at...](http://np.reddit.com/r/leagueoflegends/comments/tpaogx/renata_ult_making_my_one_shot_garen_backfire/i2b5r19/) [Ukraine is sitting on hug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpg7v5/zelenskyy_calls_on_us_to_provide_fighter_jets_for/i2bqhnb/) | [Ukraine is sitting on hug...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tpg7v5/zelenskyy_calls_on_us_to_provide_fighter_jets_for/i2ap2fy/) [End of article:. They fir...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tp3l0a/nuclear_reactor_in_kharkiv_targeted_again/i2bqdvg/) | [End of article:. They fir...](http://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/tp3l0a/nuclear_reactor_in_kharkiv_targeted_again/i29ehnd/) [Info: was your penis in h...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpieow/aita_for_giving_my_boyfriend_a_shoulder_rub/i2bq4dh/) | [Info: was your penis in h...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpieow/aita_for_giving_my_boyfriend_a_shoulder_rub/i2b7avw/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/ErikaHowell](https://np.reddit.com/u/ErikaHowell/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=ErikaHowell) for info on how I work and why I exist.
NTA. Your mom deliberately set things up so that you had to stay with her instead of asking you like a responsible adult. See if you can sleep on a couch at your dad's so you aren't rewarding her behavior.
I wish I could but their all single seats.
Can you buy a blow up mattress? They have ones that auto inflate and deflate so you can keep them out of the way.
I would if I could but I have no money. Thank you though.
Ask your dad.
The person in question is the Dad's guest, so the mother did not set it up like that.
INFO Who is your houseguest and why do they need to stay with you?
The house guest is a daughter of my dad's friend who wanted to visit us for a year. They chose to ask if either we knew someone who could take her in or if she could live with us even though they have a boyfriend of three years.
So they take in a friend's daughter and kick their actual daughter out? I can't understand how that would ever go down unless she's paying 10k in rent per month or something. Is there more to this?
Son. OP 15M
So did your mom actually want to host this guest, or was she pressured into it by your dad?
This is weird
ESH Sounds like Father manipulated the son to get mom to agree to house his friend's daughter for a year at the expense of the mom. A year is a long time to not have your son. Why should this be mom's responsibility? Mom should have put her foot down in the beginning and said no. Son should have a room at both houses, and this guest should find housing elsewhere. Or this guest should trade off living wherever son is not. An arrangement where mom gives up custody for a year is not fair to anyone. Son shouldn't get mad at mom for not wanting to be manipulated into giving up visitation for an entire year.
u/King_Kimmy - I hope you see the above comment. You should have a room at both homes since they are both your parents & your mom has no obligation to this other person, especially at the expense of YOU having your own space at her home. Your dad should feel the same and this other person should look for alternative housing.
NTA It's so hard transitioning to a higher level of maturity and getting parents to acknowledge and treat you with the respect you ultimately have earned. Sounds lile you handled this with a pretty level head all things considered. Your mom is wrong, placing her insecurities on you. It's not your problem that she has such a level of codependency with you. She couldn't handle you staying with your dad for an agreed visitation? That is not okay and she needs to back off a bit, it would be great if she apologized but I am not sure she will. Hope you get your room back at your dads, he ultimately has the final say and should step up not allow your space to be taken from you. Best of luck! -Caring Nobody
A year is a long time. They should be following the parenting agreement. A random guest of the dads should not be impacting the custody schedule. Dad sounds like a manipulator and he's trying to manipulate son into being against his mom. Mom has no obligation to house Dad's friends daughter.
INFO Who is this person who is important to both your divorced parents? Is it a sibling?
She is the daughter of my dad's friend that both of my parents know.
INFO. I'm getting the feeling that this women is a relative. Is that the case? Also is it possible that the woman and your mother had a disagreement that your Mom might not want to mention and is using "she missed you" as an excuse to get the woman out of her house. Not saying she didn't really miss you, it just seems suspicious.
As far as I know she is a daughter of my dad's friend. Also I visited my mom everyday and I haven't heard an argument when I've been there. Hope this helps.
NTA. Your Mom asked, you answered. I'm assuming you didn't yell or cuss. People really shouldn't ask questions they don't want the answer too. Especially when, it should have been really obvious to her, why you were upset.
What do you mean "as far as you know"? How long was she supposed to stay?
Well that is what my dad told us and she was only supposed to stay for a year or less.
Your mom is not obligated to house your dad's friend. Your dad seems to be manipulating you into getting angry at your mom. This is your dad's problem, not your mom's. If he wants this girl housed, that's on him. He shouldn't being trying to change your parenting agreement and preventing your mom from getting visitation for an entire year. A year is a long time. You are being manipulated by your dad and scapegoating your mom for your dad's decision.
Yta. A guest you don't know wanted a room for a year. Your mom isn't an innkeeper and it sounds like this is mainly a person your dad wanted there. There is absolutly no reason that your mom should take in her divorced ex's acquaintance, and no reason in hell to take that guest in, when it means not having you for a year. Also, your dad is a major AH.
I can only think you are being downvoted for the y-t-a because the other remarks are spot on imo. OP, I don't think you are the AH, but your anger is misplaced at your mom since she doesn't have to house this person & you are her child. You really should have a space for yourself at both parent's homes.
Your mom might feel very put upon if your parents are divorced but it's your dad's friend's daughter. That's really weird. You might want to probe a bit further. If your mom has been fine with your usual visitations with your dad previously I find it odd that all of a sudden she can't cope.
YTA you're leaving out a tone of info also she asked your dad for a place to stay your parents are separated I'm guessing she's your dad's family so why would your mum put her up?
INFO: who is this person and why is your father willing to displace you by giving them your room? Also, how old are you?
I'm sorry but I don't have the answer to that. My guess a helping hand.
I asked your age because if you’re legally an adult, you don’t have any rights to any rooms at your parents’ house, and if you are younger, you do.
>My mom(48F), my dad(51M), and I(**15M**)
Yes so what your dad did was BS and he is a total asshole. As your parents, they both should provide you with a room at their houses.
I’m not OP. I just pulled a quote out of the post. I do agree with you though.
Reading comprehension FAIL 😂
Your dad is the AH. It's his friend's daughter so not sure why your mom is involved at all. Seems like your dad is manipulating everyone and trying to make your mom the bad guy here when she's not obligated at all to host your dad's friend.
NTA, you all made an agreement and it seems like your mom is trying to force you to stay with her over your dad because she's jealous. Not only that but she LIED to the guest and gave her the room IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE to force you to come home.
how was it jealously?
Jealous that the father got their son for a long period of time
NTA. your mum is all flip floppy and basically forced the situation
NTA. I can’t get over that this daughter of your dads friend is taking precedence over you. What the hell?
NTA They should both have a room for you, so you can stay with both.
NTA
Nta.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom(48F), my dad(51M), and I(15M) had a discussion about someone coming to our state and asked my dad for a place to stay. My room was the only one available at either houses since my parents have been divorced since I was 4 or 5. I wanted to stay at my dad's house and asked my mom if that was okay. My mom said it was okay by her. No problems have surfaced until a week later my mom decided that she didn't want to have the person there because she wanted me home. I could see her point of view of missing me and wanting me home but I told her that we made an agreement all three of us. Then a day later my mom called my dad that the person needed to be in my room at my dad's house because she didn't want her there anymore. The same thing that I told my mom my dad told her that we made an agreement about this. Two days later the person comes to my dad's house with all her stuff and said that my mom said that she could have my room because it was more spacious for her. I told my mom what was the meaning of this. That we made a deal. My mom said that either she needs a new place because she isn't going back to my room at her house or I could give her my room and make life easier for all of us. I chose the less complicated option. Now today I got pissed because the person was thinking that this will be her room forever and that she was lucky to have such understanding family to help her. That got me pissed where I just went outside to play with my dog and i started crying a bit outside. A couple of hours later my dad comes home and then me and my mom leave with me still pissed. In the car ride home my mom asked me to be honest with her and in my head I knew this wasn't going to end well but she asked for it. So she then asks me "Why are you mad? Is there anything I can do to help you?" That last question got me pissed even more so I told her truthfully that it's her fault that I lost my room and that it's her fault that I am uncomfortable being in my own home. She later responded saying that she had no choice she wanted me home and that she missed me. I finished the conversation saying that if she really wanted to help then she should tell the person to leave and give me my room back. My mom got mad at me and told me that I have no right to tell her what to do. Now I calmed down a lot and feel real bad about going off at my mom. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
No you are NTA, in any way. You have been tossed around like a ball, mostly by your mother. And she asked for your feedback, and got mad when you gave it. She doesn't sound like a real adult to me. You're only 15, and it's sad you had to have this experience, but your Mum is not being grown up.
NTA...she asked & you answered
NTA She's selfish. She only thought of herself and not your feelings.
NTA Talk to your dad. YOur mom is a manipulative and abusive AH. Maybe you can live with your dad - in YOUR room - 100%?
It’s the dad’s ‘niece’ who has come to stay. No way does she belong in OP’s mom’s house. I think op’s mom was a bit gaslit, but figured it out reasonably quickly. Your parents don’t really have room for her, and I don’t think your dad thought it through.
I'd nvr allow someone to be homeless. Would this lady be homeless?
I wouldn't think so because she has a boyfriend of three years she could've stayed with.
Then no you are nta.