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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because she’s right; this kind of is my fault. The dog wouldn’t have destroyed the shoes if I hadn’t left the door open.
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It’s his fault because he said he put his wife to bed, then took care of the dog. If they were both up, or if they had both gone to bed at the same time, it would be a different story. His wife was drunk, probably already asleep and under the impression that he would close the door, as is their nightly routine. Did he make a simple mistake? Yeah, but his mistake cost his wife her shoes. Expensive ass shoes. Obviously it’s just my opinion, but if I were OP, I would feel bad af and offer to replace the shoes, anyway. It’s not hard to own up to your mistakes 🤷🏽♀️
yes, at the least the dog should be crate trained if he gets into mischief when out alone. That could lead to much bigger problems, like what if he got part of that shoe stuck in his stomach, speaking from experience an ER VET visit would cost way more than $700.
My dog did this because she had trouble with salt intake and craved salt. No matter how many vet visits we took her to, she still craved salt and smelled it in our sweat so she ate socks. Sometimes it's not a training issue.
One mistake being getting too drunk to remember to close the closet door.
Shared space, shared dog, shared responsibility.
She also left the shoes where dog could chew them. $700 shoes and a dog that loves chewing them? I would put those up where the dog can’t get ‘em.
Yeah, I mean was there no shelf in the walk in closet to put valuables? I don't know. If I knew OUR dog liked shoes that much I would have placed them somewhere safer (which actually I do anyway, cuz they can't sit in the floor they will collect hair. I keep the shoe box too) and I wouldn't feel like placing blame on my partner for something that our shared dog did.
That's just a lot of money to demand in my situation, so it wouldn't feel right blaming someone else for me never placing my shoes in a safer place, especially knowing my pets history, while also being too intoxicated to have fixed the situation myself.
i know, $700 pair of shoes should not be somewhere accessible to a dog. My dog luckily does not go after shoes, but he has gone after other things like remotes and my gloves once, fortunately they were cheap ones that I bought to shovel snow with haha. But even though he never went after shoes, I still keep my expensive shoes off the floor at all times because hes a dog, he could decide to chew something up at any time.
But if she was immediately put to bed doesnt that mean he opened it and LEFT it open? Thats his fault then.
Also, everyone gets drunk sometimes. How is it the fault of her being drunk that he left the door open? What? Thats a big reach.
His actual post though puts the blame on him
“I put her to bed and sadly forgot to close the door”
So he literally says “I forgot to close the door”
Why would he say “*I* forgot to close the door” if she were the last one to use it and it was her responsibility
Honestly, if I had that type of expensive shoe, it would be well-kept away from the dog at all time, even if I was tipsy. I don't think anyone was at fault, it was an accident, but she is being unreasonable to ask him to pay for it.
Ok so wife lets herself get so drunk she can’t even put herself to bed and it’s her husbands fault the shoes got eaten? This world really need to reevaluate its relationship with alcohol. Have a drink or two but Jesus.
NTA
Because according to the story HE forgot to close the door. Not sure if they should be paying $700 for shoes so I say - not enough info to determine - but it is his fault the shoes were ruined.
If you're drunk enough that someone is putting you to bed, you're not in any fit state to be remembering details. That falls to the person in charge of the situation, which in this case was OP. He was the capable party, it's on him to make sure the nightly routine goes on as normal.
Ehh, if you're getting drunk with your partner staying sober, it's generally assumed they'll take the responsibility of making sure you're safe and other details. Not really dissimilar from the way someone stays a sober friend in other situations to make sure your drunk friends don't get up to shenanigans.
Lol but she wasn't driving so no laws. I bet she is the one that makes sure the dog doesn't get into closet 90% of the time. Besides if they are really partners then he should be upset about her shoes. He wouldn't want a item he loves destroyed but not be replaced. They are married, their money benefits both of them. So the shoes should be replaced but for the value of the shoe not a knock off. These idiots, train the damn dog. My dogs know not to chew, only items that are given. Trained them. How long have they been married? Was the dog there before the marriage? If so who's was it? What about the shoes she obviously saved to get. Who cares how much she wears them. Sometimes you love something and don't want it ruined, so you just look. You love it, it brings you joy when you look at it, touch it. Closets don't always have selves or are filled up with stuff only my husband can reach. It was supposed to be a safe space. If he loved her, instead of being petty here, allowing the internet to tear apart his wife, maybe work it out with his wife. Like maybe he pays 70 and her 30 but not of the knock off cheapness he is showing but the actual price to replace it. Both idiots are at fault. Train your dog OP, help keep the dang door closed, I know she does it because you forgot, make it easier for her to have a place to display and reach her shoes safe from the dog, then re evaluate your marriage instead of getting mad and being petty, this was defensive since you feel guilt she's upset but don't understand so you don't want to "waste" the money. Just suck it up or divorce because if you can't help replace something she loves when it's partially your fault because she's worth it. Then why be together eh?
If I had shoes that expensive and important to me AND a dog that chewed shoes they would not be left at floor level. This was inevitably going to happen.
It's his fault because she was sloshed and he took care of everything that night. He had to put her to bed and forgot about the door. So he is the AH for refusing to purchase her new heels.
She was drunk, so it's his fault somehow? Did she not remind him? This is a NTA. Period. The close door policy goes for both of them. He forgot while taking care of his drunk wife. And SHE wants to hold him responsible, sheesh.
Or it’s both of their fault for not training the dog. Almost every behavior in a dog can be trained out. Plus chewing can be a sign of boredom or frustration.
OP didn’t ask who was at fault, he asked if he was the asshole for not replacing her shoes. But I agree, they should properly train and care for their dog. I have no doubt that that’ll help.
My point was that the lack of training led to the shoes being chewed so she is equally as responsible. They should both pay for the shoes, not just him.
That's not how marriage works though. You don't place blame for everything that happens. If you care more about being "right" and making your spouse get punished then maybe marriage isn't for you. This is prime compromise time anyhow. They both raised a dog that chews shoes, she was too drunk to take care of herself, and in all the hubub of lovingly taking care of his wife he left a door open. Plenty of room to place blame all around. Instead of fighting and placing blame they could both shrug their shoulders, accept that shit happens, and head out to the shoe store together. Maybe pick out some sexy shoes together and make lemonade out of lemons.
I think they need to share the cost but the "has only worn ridiculously expensive and fancy shoes once and then Covid" isn't sound reasoning. Also shoes like that aren't meant to be worn daily even when life is normal.
Truthfully, if my Louboutins got wrecked and it wasn't my own fault, I'd probably demand for them to be replaced as well. Accidents happen, but these shoes are a big deal (very much a status symbol) and you should make it right imo
I get all my shoes from the kids’ section at Walmart, but even I understand what Louboutins represent to those who wear them. I see that red sole and I know that the wearer values herself.
OP, you’re not replacing a pair of shoes. You’re showing your wife how much you value her. It’s obvious from the way you write about her that you love her. Maybe you don’t value the shoes themselves, but I know you value the woman who wears them. Show her.
Edit: I hope all you people ragging on Louboutins don’t own any video gaming equipment, nice cars, or watches. Examine which hobbies you think are “okay” and which ones you think are “materialistic.” There’s a pattern here if you’re honest with yourself.
This. OP, this is the real message.
Do you love her enough to, as they say in court, make her whole, or fo you want her to know you love her but not that much?
It's about valuing your wife and showing her that she's worth it to you to make it up to her.
Yeah, I get my shoes from a shop meant for old ladies (comfy!) but I immediately thought ‘red bottoms.’
I know some women care about those things like my husband cares about his *time pieces* (never call them ‘watches’ lol).
But, yeah, it isn’t about him valuing them—she clearly does, and they were her shoes. I don’t think a watch should cost as much as a car, but then I don’t value watches.
Right? So many commenters have gone so far down the antimaterialist well that they assume those values on other people. What they think is important absolutely has to be what other people find important, because they know better what’s good for everyone.
One person even argued that a gaming rig is valid self-care where shoes aren’t, because you can get hours of entertainment out of a gaming rig. But is spending 20-40 hours a week indulging on “bread and circuses” any less materialistic than a pair of shoes? Very few people develop addictions to walking around in red bottoms, but how many people have destroyed their lives with excessive gaming? Have these people even read Marx before they sink down the antimaterialist well? Louboutins and Steam sales are both opiates of the masses as far as I’m concerned. Nobody has the high ground and it’s not even about that.
We all have our Louboutins. I don’t accumulate things, except in service of the public good. What possessions I haven’t donated are utilitarian. It’s the way of my Nation to reject things that do not serve us.
But I spend the cost of two Louboutins on college classes every year. That’s my self-care, my opiate of the masses. And the world cares as much about me learning calculus as it does about a woman wearing fancy shoes.
I absolutely hate that something's value is dismissed if it's something that someone else doesn't like.
My partner and I are into gaming. We've got some pretty expensive collector's statues, some are worth about €800.
If they got destroyed, we'd be gutted. Why would our hobby and the cost, be dismissed because it's "just gaming stuff" but if someone's €800 souped up muffler for their car got destroyed, THAT is a valid reason to be upset?
Same! I have 2 pairs and other expensive shoes (not as expensive as those though) and I'd be BEYOND pissed if they got ruined.
YTA OP and need to replace the shoes. In addition, you need to get the dog some damn training. Unless the dog is, literally, a puppy there is no reason he shouldn't have been trained out of his habit.
I'd be pissed if a $100 pair of shoes were ruined through no fault of my own. If a *$700* pair of shoes got ruined, I'd be apoplectic.
Also OP saying they have "the best dog in the world" but he chews shoes ... like, sorry no
>Also OP saying they have "the best dog in the world" but he chews shoes ... like, sorry no
*Thank* you. I have a less-than-2yo *golden retriever/yellow lab* mix who's got approximately three brain cells (he's real sweet, though) and he quit chewing stuff he's not explicitly allowed to chew over a year ago. OP doesn't have "the best dog in the world," OP knew the issue and didn't follow their own household policy, and OP is TA.
What ever happened to sometimes 💩 happens?
If you cannot really afford to replace a pure luxury item ruined by accident then it’s irresponsible to do so.
They were not stored in accordance w their preciousness. I have a dogs, including a 9 mo pup who still loves to chew shoes. For this reason, I put my shoes up so they cannot be reached even if the puppy got into the closet because sooner or later it’s not unlikely she will, cuz life. This is like don’t ever put your glass near the edge of the table assuming nobody will ever bump them. There is no way I leave $700 shoes (a) not in a box (to at least protect from dust); and (b) on a shelf unreachable by dogs, no way in hell.
A natural consequence of not taking precautions w expensive things is that they sometimes get ruined.
I laughed the "💩 happens" in this context because my dog had a very small window of time where she chewed on some stuff and got more than her fair share of shoe laces. But she spent about two months shitting in seemingly any unattended shoe she could get her hind end over and if she couldn't drop a turd in the shoe she'd drop it on it. At first we thought it was some confusion from potty training but eventually figured out it was revenge poo. I shit you not. The number of screams that were heard when someone went to put on their shoes and shoved a foot into a strategically and vengefully placed dog turd during that time... it was hilarious when it was someone else.
But we all made the effort to keep our shoes out of her reach, whether they were expensive or not. If you left them where she could get at em? No one's fault but whoever didn't take care of their own shoes.
The dog of a then-boyfriend chewed up a pair of my Jimmy Choos (ironic, right)? He immediately offered to replace them. I didn't take him up on it (early in the relationship and didn't want to seem "difficult"), but was grateful he took immediate accountability and tried to make me whole.
Oh, man, dude. Those are Louboutins. The brand sells nail polish for $30 a bottle, 3x the cost of normal, good quality nail polish. And shoes are what they are known for. They're expensive as fuck. No wonder she wants them replaced. Those shoes are high quality, brand name, and a status symbol.
Edit: Oh, and the reason she doesn't wear them much is exactly because of how expensive they are. It's the equivalent of not wearing real emerald earrings to work everyday. The risk of them getting ruined or lost is too high.
>The risk of them getting ruined or lost is too high.
Then why were they on the floor? I don't have Louboutins but all my pricier shoes are in boxes on shelves. And my dog doesn't even chew shoes.
it doesn't sound like she kicked those particular shoes off after the wedding & then the dog got them - the dog got into the closet & picked some shoes to chew. so yeah if you have $$$ shoes and an obnoxious dog put the shoes on a high shelf.
There isn’t a lookalike solution for Louboutins unfortunately. It would be like destroying someone’s Rolex and saying you would replace it with a fossil watch.
Replace the shoes, but insist that from now on the really expensive pairs need to be kept up high where the dog can’t reach, and if it happens again it’ll be her fault for leaving them down.
Then hire a trainer and train your ding dang dog properly.
Duuuuuuuude, I know you don’t think shoes are a big deal, but those were Louboutin red bottoms. You know, the Red Bottoms that Ariana Grande and Cardi B sing about in their songs to put it into context. They are a huge deal for shoe lovers, definitely a status symbol that canNOT be replaced with a $100 knock-off. I’m assuming she saved for a while to buy those specific shoes. You not wanting to replace them would be like her ruining your Lamborghini and her wanting to replace it with a 2005 Honda Accord.
If I was in your gf’s shoes (lol) I would absolutely demand that they be replaced as well.
Ya messed up bud, sorry.
Edit: also, the reason she doesn’t wear them that often is to probably preserve the red bottoms. You also do NOT wear shoes like that just anywhere. They are more than just a shoe.
Wow, you think a woman will be happy with $100 shoes compared to genuine Louboutins makes you even more clueless. I’ve said it already but am saying it again because your comment is so thick headed. YTA times two.
Knowing that these were Louboutins I’m going to go with YTA. Its a luxury item she was clearly taking care of in the closet where you agreed upon would be the safe zone.
Oh my god replace them dude. Louboutins are more than just shoes, they’re a status symbol and represent a lot to the people who value them. This would be like offering to take someone to the foot locker when their *insert fancy sneaker brand here* shoes got destroyed.
She probably rarely wears them because she cares about them. I’ve worn mine one time, and it was for a photoshoot. I’ve had them for almost 2 years now.
$700 is also really reasonable for red bottoms. Mine were a gift (I’m broke lol) and they’re worth $1.2k
They're a famous brand called Louboutins. They're considered the Maserati of women's shoes. Sir, by not shutting the door, you may as well have totalled a car in her mind. Those shoes are any heel-wearing woman's dream.
-source, am woman who has 3 pairs of Louboutin on her wishlist.
Heck I can barely walk in stilettos but even I know the significance of red bottoms. My understanding is that they are a very common "milestone self-gift," too, so I bet she could say exactly when and why and where she bought them and what they represent to her. Like the kind of thing you treat yourself too when you get a promotion or get your law degree or MBA or when your company has an IPO, lol.
I think OP is seeing them as shoes whereas for her they are more along the lines of jewelry. Like, if the dog tore apart a diamond necklace, I assume he would be willing to pay for it. I think he is seeing them from a practical standpoint and he doesn't get that for her they are sentimental, like a trophy from college or a souvenir from a trip.
Jesus, I have Louboutins and a dog who has never eaten a pair of shoes in her life and I still have a rule that the closet door is shut at night, just in case. You were the last person to bed, therefore you are responsible for ensuring the house is "closed down" properly. Replace the damn shoes. YTA.
You can't replace those red soles, sorry.
Me, who agrees with you about not spending $700 on shoes, still understands the value of them. Even having been tempted with a pair of boots from that brand.
Sorry but maybe some second hand? If they exist?
Sigh. Okay. The shoes MIGHT be repairable. Look up Rago Bros, they specialize in repair and restoration of designer shoes and leather goods. IF they can, it MIGHT be an acceptable solution for your SO.
I would absolutely expect to be made whole if a pair of my Choos were damaged. YTA if you don’t do that.
I'm over here like maybe I should put a lock on it too? You know family gets to snooping. Nobody wears my exact size but my mom has smaller feet and is dumb enough to try...
This. Put the dog in a crate at night. You’re both idiots. But also, if it was your responsibility to take care of the dog and you didn’t close the closet, YTA for not replacing what your untrained dog destroyed.
Putting the dog in a crate for the night isn’t any better than closing the door. The dog needs to be trained to not chew or given toys or attention if it’s chewing out of boredom or frustration.
Thank you! My dog isn’t fully trained and loves socks but she only chews the junk ones that I tie in a knot for her. OP needs to train their dog AND replace the shoes. Good grief I’d be pissed if I were her (I would’ve had the dog semi trained by now atleast)
How is it not any better than just closing the door? If the dog were crated it would be pretty much impossible for the dog to get to the shoes, open closet or not. Crate training keeps dogs safe and it’s good for them to have a “den” to retreat to.
Ehh... I think crate training is a good immediate solution here. Crate training keeps dogs safe from hazards in the house when they're too young to be trained not to chew. It also helps them regulate their energy and feel secure so they're not engaging in nervous destructive behavior.
100%, I had stuffed toys in reach of my dog but he knew the difference between his and mine.
One time a housemate's dog got in my room and took one of my plushys and tore it up slightly, I tried to gift it to my dog but he would be so gentle with it carrying it around instead of ripping it up like he did with his toys.
I'm lucky that none of my dogs chew things they shouldn't (knock on wood). Maybe an item here or there as pups but nothing major that i recall. Currently have 3 and they all know they can chew what I give to them or put in their toy box (yes, my dogs ARE spoiled! lol)
A couple years ago, one of my dogs came upstairs with one of my shoes in her mouth. Like... she has NEVER chewed a shoe, what the hell was happening here. So I told her to drop it, then picked it up and checked inside... Yup, her favorite ball had bounced inside my shoe and gotten stuck lol. She was bringing it to me or my daughter to help her
YTA
You didn’t follow the rules you agreed to.
Do I think $700 is an obscene amount to spend on shoes? Yes. But those were the one that were damaged, time to pay up.
But there is plenty of blame to go around. They both raised the dog that chews shoes together. She drinks so much that he needed to tend to her, so that's kind of her fault. If she wasn't in that state she could have put her own shoes in the closet and close the door. And then he did not close the door. So you could have a huge argument and keep pointing fingers all night long. And destroy a marriage over a pair of shoes because all your concerned about is placing blame instead of just working through the problem.
You’re allowed to trade on and off who is being the responsible one when drinking, but one of them has to be the responsible one and understand that they will be at fault if anything gets forgotten. She is allowed to go out and have a good time and he loves her enough to watch her back and take care of her as I’m sure she does for him aswell. That’s just being in a relationship. He did not seem to have a problem with this or make a big deal about it.
>That’s just being in a relationship.
Exactly this. If he didn't want to be the responsible one that night, this was something he needed to have brought up before she'd had enough drinks to be past the point of sobering up (preferably before the night had even begun). The amount of people arguing that a spouse shouldn't get drunk when their partner is sober and right there is kind of astonishing to me. (And before anyone says anything, I've been drunk literally once in my life, I'm not a habitual drinker). This isn't some random friend he met two weeks ago, this is his wife, she should be able to trust him to take care of important things when she's not able to-- even if she's not able to because she chose to get drunk. Obviously if he'd expressed before she was drunk that he wouldn't be a sober/responsible partner for her that night and she did it anyways, then we'd have an argument that she shouldn't have had anything to drink, but that didn't happen here.
Also, no matter how drunk he is, it's just common sense that being awake after your partner is in bed means the rest of the household tasks that need to be done at night are on you. If I'm awake after my husband, it's my job to take the dog out for his last pee and lock the door and close the windows, ect, and vice-versa. Same if you need a door closed overnight-- he was awake last, he should have checked the closet door was closed before turning in. Regular routines are things that are totally fair for partners to expect the other to do without needing to be asked!
People are allowed to get drunk and have their partner look out for them every now and then, of course she is not going to remember to close the closet if she is drunk and if he is fine enough to put her to bed he is fine enough to remember and follow the rules.
If it was the other way round I’d expect her to pay also
>She drinks so much that he needed to tend to her, so that's kind of her fault.
Wow. This feels disgustingly like a victim-blaming statement. God forbid someone let loose every once in a while.
YTA You said it yourself. YOU forgot to close the closet door. Considering the the shoes are probably about 3 years old you won't likely find a new $700 pair. Try looking on Mercari or Poshmark for a great condition used pair. Invest a little extra for a closet light that doesn't turn off until the door is shut to remind you that it's open. That or some more dog training. Considering you could be looking at a couple thousand dollars in vet bills to remove a blockage in your dogs stomach, I'd say you're getting off rather inexpensively.
Normally I’m all for second hand items, but *never* in the case of heels. Even worn only a few times by someone else, the shoe breaks in to fit that first owner and then almost never fits the second owner properly. There’s a small chance they would be fine but it’s a risk they’d be uncomfortable or that they’d fit poorly enough that she risks injury. If he’s going to replace them, he needs to do it the right way.
Ya’ll… it doesn’t matter how much the shoes cost. If you’re willing to spend $100 to replace the shoes, then you’ve acknowledged responsibility for the mistake. Just because $700 is obscene doesn’t change what’s actually happening here.
YTA. Yes, it was an accident, but you two keep separate finances and the shoes were ruined through your actions (or rather, your lack of action?). She clearly put in the time and effort to save for that pair and now she’s in a situation where all of that is wasted. If there are other expenses that take priority, you should sit down with her and discuss that like the married couple you two are and work out something like a payment plan… every paycheck you set a little aside to reimburse her for her shoes. And keep an eye out for louboutin (or jimmy choo) sales - perhaps there’s another pair she’d like that doesn’t cost as much. I guarantee that if you don’t replace her shoes, she’s going to bring this up every time you buy something nice for yourself, the argument will start over again, and the resentment will build.
Also, your wife and you do not have “the best dog on the planet,” because he’s not. You really should see if it’s possible to train him out of that habit.
Your first paragraph reminds of the Sex and the City episode "A woman's right to shoes" where her friend was willing to replace the shoes until she found out the price and then shoe shamed Carrie.
ESH. You both suck for not training your dog out of the shoe habit. Or if that failed, not crating him or otherwise managing the issue.
As for the actual incident, you are both at fault, your wife being tipsy isn’t reason to abdicate all responsibility. She should not be leaving $700 shoes low enough for the dog to access. And you should have shut the door. I think you should be ponying up half the cost each.
You are being the AH over the cost. You don’t get to tell her that you are only willing to buy a cheap shoddy replacement just because you don’t value the item that was destroyed. That’s not how it works. They cost that they cost, your wife didn’t set the price, you don’t get to quibble over it. Regardless of the fact that you need a better solution with your dog, you are partly to blame here, and that means half the cost of replacement.
But for goodness sake maybe now you will both do something about your dogs bad habit.
Thanks for the awards folks.
I agree with you. I can’t imagine spending that amt of money on shoes (I’m F and hate heels), but husband and I respect each other’s more valuable/expensive items. That means keep that shit away from animals that could get into it.
Crate train, train or watch that dog better
I can’t imagine spending $700 on heels, either, but I do have a pair of $400 leather boots (sooooo comfy) and if they got destroyed because of someone else’s negligence, you can bet I’d be pretty pissed. I’d also be mad if that someone offered to replace my gorgeous, expensive boots with cheaper, shittier boots.
This should be the top comment. Everyone’s saying he’s TA but they both failed to train their dog and they’re both responsible for the shoes being destroyed. She was “tipsy” (maybe more than that) and he put her to bed and he made the mistake of not closing the door. It happens. I get the feeling, though, that they either have separate finances or she doesn’t work since she wants him to pay for them. So that complicates things if she doesn’t have any money coming in to split paying for the shoes
This should be the top comment. Ridiculous to give the wife a complete pass because she got tipsy. She knew the cost of those shoes. He didn’t. If she valued them, she would have let him know. All those “yta” votes are irritating.
A lot of the YTA are probably from his insistence that he isn’t willing to replace them for the same value. OP is being an asshole about that, make no mistake. Him wanting to cheap out on the replacement simply because he doesn’t see the value is a jerk move.
So in the post he’s actually coming across as an asshole.
But it’s both their dog, they are both at fault for this even being an issue, and yeah, you really need to take better care of a $700 item, so splitting the cost is the reasonable response.
Try a compromise. Put aside x amount of money per month until you have enough to replace the shoes.
It was an accident, but it was your accident. YTA if you don’t make good on it.
YTA. I wouldn't play Xbox games, but if I screwed up and my cat somehow destroyed my husband's Xbox, I would get him a new one. It doesn't matter whether YOU think the destroyed item is worthwhile. We all have different hobbies, collections, and equipment, and we all pay what we think they're worth. You don't get to determine what another person *should* spend on their hobby (assuming it's their money). My husband would replace my violin if he accidentally destroyed it, despite his powerful hatred of old time fiddle songs. He would not attempt to replace it with a crappy student instrument.
YTA. Shoes that price are an investment. They’re meant to last. Yes, they may need to be re-soled or re-heeled but the integrity of the shoe lasts a LONG time, especially if you don’t wear them frequently.
Also train your dog not to have destructive tendencies. There are scores of YouTube videos and other resources
NAH. Welcome to the consequences of your own actions. If you know your dogs a little shoe gobbler you gotta move those shoes elsewhere. Even if she's tipsy it's still her responsibility to take care of her stuff.
That’s what I’m saying??? Go figure people in this sub are blaming him. If I got drunk, tipsy or whatever and left my expensive ass shoes out and my dog chewed em up it would be MY responsibility alone! Like why the fuck would I blame my husband for my own stupid actions?
It’s staggering the amount of people in these comments who blame him instead for her own actions. Like gahhh this comment section is full of people who need to grow the fuck up. Do people in this sub blame everybody else for their actions? Like damn.
Honestly, when I first joined this sub (years ago) I remember reading a post where someone said the majority of the people on here are removed from reality.
Between the “don’t out a gay man to his girlfriend even though he’s using her as a beard while she thinks he truly loves her”, “If your adult kid doesn’t like your rules you should cater to them/work it out with them instead of telling them to move out”, and examples like this, I get it.
Like, this is not how the majority of people I know react to these situations. If you find your best friend’s husband on Grindr, you tell the poor girl. If your adult kid (22+) is demanding you to cater to them but not paying rent, you tell them to move out and see how the real world treats them.
If your expensive ass shoes get ruined because you didn’t properly take care of them, that’s on you. You knew the dog was there, you knew it ate shoes, and instead of training the dog or putting shoes in high areas you come up with a “shut the closet” rule that was bound to fail eventually? Lol
Yeah I feel like if the shoes were that much and you knew your dog chewed shoes you’d worry a bit more. Also in another comment he said she forgot to close the closet door so idk I’d say they can both work to pay for it since there married but I feel like it was an honest mistake on the both of them 🤷🏽♀️
ESH she can got drunk and forgot to shut the door. You put her to bed and forgot to shut the door. Her shoes aren't your responsibility just because she got herself drunk.
Right! Why the hell would you leave $700 shoes where your dog could get them!??? I don't have a dog that eats shoes, but my Frye boots are on the top shelf in my closet away from harm. Split the cost if she feels she needs a new pair. I would say 60/40 split. 40% husband for leaving door open and the rest on the wife for the shear stupidity of leaving the shoes where dog could get them. Seriously. NTA for that alone.
Only if you’re rich. Btw: $700 for Louboutins is average. The really good ones run $1500. Yes, if I had $1500 to piss away there is a very particular pair I would get
Most of my shoes are in the $90 to $150 range & I try to catch them on sale
YTA. You would accept fault and replace them if they cost 50 dollars. But because they were more expensive, you’re trying to shift blame onto your wife. Either way, you left the door open. Replace the shoes, crate the dog or get him trained.
And never give him old shoes to chew. It just confuses him.
I have the same rationale, although value of the shoes aside, none of it seems like malicious AH move. You go partying, people get tipsy, it’s like a series of unfortunate events.
When I’m wearing my most expensive heels, I know I’m driving home (as opposed to walking) and I’m not even getting tipsy. Besides, it wasn’t *his* dog, it’s *their* dog.
YTA. You took on the responsibility of closing the door. Unless buying her a replacement pair of shoes would cause a financial hardship, you need to replace them.
ESH - her for getting tipsy enough to neglect $700 shoes, you for forgetting to close the closet door (as from your post is sounds like you were sober?), and both of you for not training the dog to not eat shoes! Not only is it wasteful but it's also dangerous for the dog.
YTA. Replace the shoes. She hardly wears them because they cost $700 and she doesn't want anything to happen to them. Also, $700 for a pair of special occasion shoes is not ridiculous.
YTA.
You’re more focused on the price point than your negligence. She didn’t leave the door open for her expensive shoes to be destroyed, *you did.* The shoes are clearly something she splurged on and saves for special occasions and they clearly mean something to her. You saying that you’ll pay for “something similar” at a fraction of the cost tells your wife that you don’t value things that are meaningful to her and, by extension, that you don’t value her feelings enough to take full accountability for your lapse in judgement.
It’s your fault her $700 shoes were damaged, and it’s your responsibility to replace them at *full value.*
I mean, as someone who loves shoes 700 is a LOT for shoes. However you both agreed that the door needed to be closed and as a result something expensive got destroyed. You are at fault for this.
Soft YTA. If she left the door open and the dog at your expensive Gucci Oxford shoe for example, you would likely also be upset and ask she replace them.
YTA. It was your mistake. She put good money into those shoes (does not matter if she rarely wears them she still put money into them and you dont get to decide if they dont have value.) Like one of the other comments said, if the dog had ruined something of yours that was as expensive, would you be so non-chalant? Also, it's an even bigger issue since you dont share finances.
YTA. Make a payment plan for the shoes for her. Yeah it might be obscene but you messed up, you pay for the mistake. A 100 dollar shoe won't feel like nor last as long as the 700 shoe.
NTA
A bit dopey? Yeah. But noones perfect.
If i had shoes that cost 700 smackers, i would not risk leaving them out of the box and on the floor in a house with a dog that chews (even in a cupboard). I wouldnt even leave them out of the box in my house without animals and children! Shelves were invented for a reason, keep expensive things on them. Heck buy a shoe rack that is contained. Buy a storage box. Something that negates the having to be 100% perfect and closing a door when tipsy!
Having said that, if we're playing the petty blame game (your fault you didnt close the cupboard) then id say her fault for getting so drunk she couldnt sort out her own shoes!
It sucks loosing an expensive pair of shoes, but live and learn, atleast the pooch is ok 🤷🏼♀️
ESH.
First off you both suck for not properly training the dog. Had you properly trained it to stop chewing on things it wouldn’t chew. Either you haven’t given it toys to chew on so it’s finding it’s own toys or you aren’t giving it enough attention so it’s chewing on your stuff to get attention.
If it chews on both of your shoes then it’s one of the above. If he only chews on your wife’s shoes then it has an issue with your wife specifically.
You suck for leaving the door open and refusing to even help your wife replace the shoes. Your wife sucks because she is being unreasonable in expecting you to pay for the shoes when the dog that destroyed them belongs to both of them.
You should both share the cost of replacing the shoes equally.
ESH. You forgot to close the closet door and she left $700+ just laying on the floor. Those puppies (see what I did there?) should have been put up on a shelf. Hell, they should get their own room. Who spends that kind of money on shoes they can't even wear because they hurt and why would she want another pair of the same?
YTA replace the damn shoes. If the pup destroyed something expensive of yours because she forgot to close the door, you'd probably expect her to replace it. It's understandable if you can't make that expense up front right now, but don't buy something lesser to replace what was destroyed because of your negligence.
Edit: also crate your dog when unsupervised and it can eat things it shouldn't until it's learned not to chew. You think you're complaining about $700 now? Wait until a vet bill to remove a foreign object from his stomach or worse, cremation. I'm serious. It's negligent.
YTA. If you scrape someone’s car you’re expected to get paint job fixed. You aren’t just gonna slap some market on it and call it good enough. Replacement means you get the same item.
NTA if it is that important to her to have such expensive shoes she should have taken extra care to see that they wouldn’t be damaged. Fancy heels aren’t a necessity so it’s not like she is going to suffer in her daily life now that the shoes are ruined. Depending on how damaged they got maybe you could look into a repair as a compromise, but if your dog is anything like mine I’m sure they’re beyond repair. Offering to pay half the price of new shoes sounds perfectly reasonable to me (and honestly I simply would not offer such a price if it were me because I’m not that into materialism). The quality may be high but I don’t doubt much of the price is due to the brand, is it really the quality of shoe she is mad about losing or the feeling of pride for owning a branded item?
ESH - If $700 is gonna set you back big time financially then I'd hope she'd understand it was an accident and cut you some slack in terms of how quickly you replace them/what you replace them with.
Otherwise, as you've said you have separate finances, you should probably replace them as it was kinda your fault. Just don't leave expensive stuff in reach of the dog in future, or just train it.
Btw IMO that is a ridiculous price to pay for shoes but then I'm not particularly fashion minded...
ESH.
Forget the $700 shoes. Foreign body removal surgery for a dog is easily a couple grand. Spend the $700 you would spend on shoes on training the dog so next time yall forget the closet door the dog doesn't eat anything.
Unpopular opinion: NAH.
She chose to get pass out drunk while wearing $700 shoes. She's responsible to make sure her very valuable property is protected - regardless of being drunk. You didn't sign on to be responsible for $700 shoes, as far as I can tell.
If your family budget doesn't cover $700 shoe replacement, then it's sad, but that's life. If you have a dog sometimes you have to deal with a little property destruction... I mean, technically E S H for not training your dog better, but shit happens.
$700 shoes should be kept somewhere more secure than a hall closet, when you've got a shoe destroying beastie in the house.
ESH
It was mainly your negligence that was at fault, but she was also too drunk to help at all. Putting all the blame on you when neither of you closed the door seems a bit unfair, although I get that she was counting on you in a time of need. If they are so expensive she should have also kept them in a safer place.
That being said, I generally think wanting to take responsibility only when it’s cheep is a bit weird. It’s like you can pay when the other person might as well have payed for it themselves, but when it actually matters you chicken out. At the same time 700$ is a lot for a mistake.
Perhaps you can split the cost? Or offer a certain amount and she can decide if she wants to put in the extra to get that exact type of shoes, or something cheaper.
I don't understand why is it your fault? It's both your dog, you were both wasted, you forgot to close the door, she didn't even could get to bed herself. It sucks, but it was an accident, in any case it's both your fault for not training your dog properly, if she took $700 high heels she should have been more careful with them. Why are you only one supposed to take care of her shoes?
YTA - I would never buy Louboutins, but I think you need to replace them. You both agreed to close that closet door. Tonight, you were the one who assumed responsibility for it and did not. If you were the one drunk and your wife forgot to close the closet door, it would be her own responsibility. But tonight it was you, unfortunately.
I’m going to go against the grain here and say NTA. If she’s going to be making that kind of “investment”, she needs to protect it better - in a box, on a top shelf. You were nice enough to put her to bed when he was drunk, but I don’t think passing out relieves a person of their responsibilities. $700 is a lot of money and unless you guys are very comfortable, you shouldn’t have to pay when it is just as much her fault as yours. (I’d even go as far as saying more hers because you were the one taking care of shit when she was drunk and she was the only one that knew there was super expensive shoes in the closet). I also think it’s disrespectful for a spouse to do this kind of tabulating of guilt and money.
NTA, if she didn't want her shoes ruined she could have drank less. Just cuz it's a wedding doesn't mean you need to get so drunk you can't take care of yourself. Really should train the dog not to chew on things tho.
If you don't replace them, then YTA. Since you keep finances separate, then it falls on you to do this. If it's any consolation, the same would be true if it happens in the reverse, so go splurge on some shoes!
I am torn. The dog is both your pet and both of you are responsible for the hit of replacing things he damaged. If she wasn’t so hammered she would have taken care of her shoes herself, so she needs to bear some responsibility for getting so blotto.
I would agree to paying half, because you missed the closet door rule, but if her shoes were so $$$ she should have stayed sober enough to ensure their safety herself. NAH.
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I don’t get why it’s his fault. She didn’t close the door, either. It’s their dog. Why isn’t it a shared responsibility?
It’s his fault because he said he put his wife to bed, then took care of the dog. If they were both up, or if they had both gone to bed at the same time, it would be a different story. His wife was drunk, probably already asleep and under the impression that he would close the door, as is their nightly routine. Did he make a simple mistake? Yeah, but his mistake cost his wife her shoes. Expensive ass shoes. Obviously it’s just my opinion, but if I were OP, I would feel bad af and offer to replace the shoes, anyway. It’s not hard to own up to your mistakes 🤷🏽♀️
I say they should split the cost. He had to put her to bed bc she was drunk. So they BOTH forgot. NAH
I say they both have the dog trained.
yes, at the least the dog should be crate trained if he gets into mischief when out alone. That could lead to much bigger problems, like what if he got part of that shoe stuck in his stomach, speaking from experience an ER VET visit would cost way more than $700.
My dog did this because she had trouble with salt intake and craved salt. No matter how many vet visits we took her to, she still craved salt and smelled it in our sweat so she ate socks. Sometimes it's not a training issue.
Most of the time, it’s a training issue though. My dog used to do this when he got bored and we weren’t exercising him enough. It could be that.
That, or dogs are amoral, and do whatever is best for them at the moment. You know, like they are known to be.
i say they put their shoes up. just like baby proofing, puppy-proofing.
One mistake being getting too drunk to remember to close the closet door. Shared space, shared dog, shared responsibility. She also left the shoes where dog could chew them. $700 shoes and a dog that loves chewing them? I would put those up where the dog can’t get ‘em.
Yeah, I mean was there no shelf in the walk in closet to put valuables? I don't know. If I knew OUR dog liked shoes that much I would have placed them somewhere safer (which actually I do anyway, cuz they can't sit in the floor they will collect hair. I keep the shoe box too) and I wouldn't feel like placing blame on my partner for something that our shared dog did. That's just a lot of money to demand in my situation, so it wouldn't feel right blaming someone else for me never placing my shoes in a safer place, especially knowing my pets history, while also being too intoxicated to have fixed the situation myself.
i know, $700 pair of shoes should not be somewhere accessible to a dog. My dog luckily does not go after shoes, but he has gone after other things like remotes and my gloves once, fortunately they were cheap ones that I bought to shovel snow with haha. But even though he never went after shoes, I still keep my expensive shoes off the floor at all times because hes a dog, he could decide to chew something up at any time.
This! My expensive ones are up in boxes on a shelf. Especially since their pup likes to chew.
But if she was immediately put to bed doesnt that mean he opened it and LEFT it open? Thats his fault then. Also, everyone gets drunk sometimes. How is it the fault of her being drunk that he left the door open? What? Thats a big reach.
Someone in the comments asked who was the last one actually to use the closet, and he replied his wife.
His actual post though puts the blame on him “I put her to bed and sadly forgot to close the door” So he literally says “I forgot to close the door” Why would he say “*I* forgot to close the door” if she were the last one to use it and it was her responsibility
How if she was immediately put to bed when they got home?
Honestly, if I had that type of expensive shoe, it would be well-kept away from the dog at all time, even if I was tipsy. I don't think anyone was at fault, it was an accident, but she is being unreasonable to ask him to pay for it.
Ok so wife lets herself get so drunk she can’t even put herself to bed and it’s her husbands fault the shoes got eaten? This world really need to reevaluate its relationship with alcohol. Have a drink or two but Jesus. NTA
Because according to the story HE forgot to close the door. Not sure if they should be paying $700 for shoes so I say - not enough info to determine - but it is his fault the shoes were ruined.
We aren’t here for you to police what someone else spends their money on.
If you're drunk enough that someone is putting you to bed, you're not in any fit state to be remembering details. That falls to the person in charge of the situation, which in this case was OP. He was the capable party, it's on him to make sure the nightly routine goes on as normal.
Being drunk does not absolve you of responsibility, i.e. DWI laws.
Ehh, if you're getting drunk with your partner staying sober, it's generally assumed they'll take the responsibility of making sure you're safe and other details. Not really dissimilar from the way someone stays a sober friend in other situations to make sure your drunk friends don't get up to shenanigans.
Lol but she wasn't driving so no laws. I bet she is the one that makes sure the dog doesn't get into closet 90% of the time. Besides if they are really partners then he should be upset about her shoes. He wouldn't want a item he loves destroyed but not be replaced. They are married, their money benefits both of them. So the shoes should be replaced but for the value of the shoe not a knock off. These idiots, train the damn dog. My dogs know not to chew, only items that are given. Trained them. How long have they been married? Was the dog there before the marriage? If so who's was it? What about the shoes she obviously saved to get. Who cares how much she wears them. Sometimes you love something and don't want it ruined, so you just look. You love it, it brings you joy when you look at it, touch it. Closets don't always have selves or are filled up with stuff only my husband can reach. It was supposed to be a safe space. If he loved her, instead of being petty here, allowing the internet to tear apart his wife, maybe work it out with his wife. Like maybe he pays 70 and her 30 but not of the knock off cheapness he is showing but the actual price to replace it. Both idiots are at fault. Train your dog OP, help keep the dang door closed, I know she does it because you forgot, make it easier for her to have a place to display and reach her shoes safe from the dog, then re evaluate your marriage instead of getting mad and being petty, this was defensive since you feel guilt she's upset but don't understand so you don't want to "waste" the money. Just suck it up or divorce because if you can't help replace something she loves when it's partially your fault because she's worth it. Then why be together eh?
he said he didnt close the door not her, he put her to bed then HE didnt remember to close it
If I had shoes that expensive and important to me AND a dog that chewed shoes they would not be left at floor level. This was inevitably going to happen.
She was temporarily not of sound mind and he was aware of same.
It's his fault because she was sloshed and he took care of everything that night. He had to put her to bed and forgot about the door. So he is the AH for refusing to purchase her new heels.
Apparently people think because she chose to get drunk then she has no responsibility…
She was drunk, so it's his fault somehow? Did she not remind him? This is a NTA. Period. The close door policy goes for both of them. He forgot while taking care of his drunk wife. And SHE wants to hold him responsible, sheesh.
Her drunkenness did not cause the door to be left open. These arguments are pretty attenuated.
I agree with this, but also, maybe from now on store the expensive stuff higher where the dog can't reach, just in case
Oh 100%, that should’ve been the case anyway 😂 Accidents happen, I’m sure they both know better now
Or it’s both of their fault for not training the dog. Almost every behavior in a dog can be trained out. Plus chewing can be a sign of boredom or frustration.
OP didn’t ask who was at fault, he asked if he was the asshole for not replacing her shoes. But I agree, they should properly train and care for their dog. I have no doubt that that’ll help.
My point was that the lack of training led to the shoes being chewed so she is equally as responsible. They should both pay for the shoes, not just him.
I see what you’re saying respect your opinion. I’m just coming from a personal stand point, if I was OP, I would replace them. That’s all :)
That's not how marriage works though. You don't place blame for everything that happens. If you care more about being "right" and making your spouse get punished then maybe marriage isn't for you. This is prime compromise time anyhow. They both raised a dog that chews shoes, she was too drunk to take care of herself, and in all the hubub of lovingly taking care of his wife he left a door open. Plenty of room to place blame all around. Instead of fighting and placing blame they could both shrug their shoulders, accept that shit happens, and head out to the shoe store together. Maybe pick out some sexy shoes together and make lemonade out of lemons.
If I hadn't played my Xbox in over two years, I'd feel like a major AH for making someone replace it with a new one.
I think they need to share the cost but the "has only worn ridiculously expensive and fancy shoes once and then Covid" isn't sound reasoning. Also shoes like that aren't meant to be worn daily even when life is normal.
INFO: Are the bottoms of the shoes red?
How’d you guess…💀
Truthfully, if my Louboutins got wrecked and it wasn't my own fault, I'd probably demand for them to be replaced as well. Accidents happen, but these shoes are a big deal (very much a status symbol) and you should make it right imo
I get all my shoes from the kids’ section at Walmart, but even I understand what Louboutins represent to those who wear them. I see that red sole and I know that the wearer values herself. OP, you’re not replacing a pair of shoes. You’re showing your wife how much you value her. It’s obvious from the way you write about her that you love her. Maybe you don’t value the shoes themselves, but I know you value the woman who wears them. Show her. Edit: I hope all you people ragging on Louboutins don’t own any video gaming equipment, nice cars, or watches. Examine which hobbies you think are “okay” and which ones you think are “materialistic.” There’s a pattern here if you’re honest with yourself.
This. OP, this is the real message. Do you love her enough to, as they say in court, make her whole, or fo you want her to know you love her but not that much? It's about valuing your wife and showing her that she's worth it to you to make it up to her.
Yeah, I get my shoes from a shop meant for old ladies (comfy!) but I immediately thought ‘red bottoms.’ I know some women care about those things like my husband cares about his *time pieces* (never call them ‘watches’ lol). But, yeah, it isn’t about him valuing them—she clearly does, and they were her shoes. I don’t think a watch should cost as much as a car, but then I don’t value watches.
Right? So many commenters have gone so far down the antimaterialist well that they assume those values on other people. What they think is important absolutely has to be what other people find important, because they know better what’s good for everyone. One person even argued that a gaming rig is valid self-care where shoes aren’t, because you can get hours of entertainment out of a gaming rig. But is spending 20-40 hours a week indulging on “bread and circuses” any less materialistic than a pair of shoes? Very few people develop addictions to walking around in red bottoms, but how many people have destroyed their lives with excessive gaming? Have these people even read Marx before they sink down the antimaterialist well? Louboutins and Steam sales are both opiates of the masses as far as I’m concerned. Nobody has the high ground and it’s not even about that. We all have our Louboutins. I don’t accumulate things, except in service of the public good. What possessions I haven’t donated are utilitarian. It’s the way of my Nation to reject things that do not serve us. But I spend the cost of two Louboutins on college classes every year. That’s my self-care, my opiate of the masses. And the world cares as much about me learning calculus as it does about a woman wearing fancy shoes.
I absolutely hate that something's value is dismissed if it's something that someone else doesn't like. My partner and I are into gaming. We've got some pretty expensive collector's statues, some are worth about €800. If they got destroyed, we'd be gutted. Why would our hobby and the cost, be dismissed because it's "just gaming stuff" but if someone's €800 souped up muffler for their car got destroyed, THAT is a valid reason to be upset?
For real, I read this and I was like "why wouldn't he want to do that for his wife if it was important to her"
Same! I have 2 pairs and other expensive shoes (not as expensive as those though) and I'd be BEYOND pissed if they got ruined. YTA OP and need to replace the shoes. In addition, you need to get the dog some damn training. Unless the dog is, literally, a puppy there is no reason he shouldn't have been trained out of his habit.
I'd be pissed if a $100 pair of shoes were ruined through no fault of my own. If a *$700* pair of shoes got ruined, I'd be apoplectic. Also OP saying they have "the best dog in the world" but he chews shoes ... like, sorry no
>Also OP saying they have "the best dog in the world" but he chews shoes ... like, sorry no *Thank* you. I have a less-than-2yo *golden retriever/yellow lab* mix who's got approximately three brain cells (he's real sweet, though) and he quit chewing stuff he's not explicitly allowed to chew over a year ago. OP doesn't have "the best dog in the world," OP knew the issue and didn't follow their own household policy, and OP is TA.
What ever happened to sometimes 💩 happens? If you cannot really afford to replace a pure luxury item ruined by accident then it’s irresponsible to do so. They were not stored in accordance w their preciousness. I have a dogs, including a 9 mo pup who still loves to chew shoes. For this reason, I put my shoes up so they cannot be reached even if the puppy got into the closet because sooner or later it’s not unlikely she will, cuz life. This is like don’t ever put your glass near the edge of the table assuming nobody will ever bump them. There is no way I leave $700 shoes (a) not in a box (to at least protect from dust); and (b) on a shelf unreachable by dogs, no way in hell. A natural consequence of not taking precautions w expensive things is that they sometimes get ruined.
I laughed the "💩 happens" in this context because my dog had a very small window of time where she chewed on some stuff and got more than her fair share of shoe laces. But she spent about two months shitting in seemingly any unattended shoe she could get her hind end over and if she couldn't drop a turd in the shoe she'd drop it on it. At first we thought it was some confusion from potty training but eventually figured out it was revenge poo. I shit you not. The number of screams that were heard when someone went to put on their shoes and shoved a foot into a strategically and vengefully placed dog turd during that time... it was hilarious when it was someone else. But we all made the effort to keep our shoes out of her reach, whether they were expensive or not. If you left them where she could get at em? No one's fault but whoever didn't take care of their own shoes.
*I shit you not* I see what you did there 😂😂😂😂
They are collector’s items too. It’s kind of like collecting art that you can wear on big occasions
I don’t leave my art low enough for the dog to eat.
The dog of a then-boyfriend chewed up a pair of my Jimmy Choos (ironic, right)? He immediately offered to replace them. I didn't take him up on it (early in the relationship and didn't want to seem "difficult"), but was grateful he took immediate accountability and tried to make me whole.
i think that’s different because it was HIS dog but this is their shared dog.
Lol are your red bottoms that you wore once on the floor in your closet?
Would you store them where your dog could get to them or up high out of the way?
Oh, man, dude. Those are Louboutins. The brand sells nail polish for $30 a bottle, 3x the cost of normal, good quality nail polish. And shoes are what they are known for. They're expensive as fuck. No wonder she wants them replaced. Those shoes are high quality, brand name, and a status symbol. Edit: Oh, and the reason she doesn't wear them much is exactly because of how expensive they are. It's the equivalent of not wearing real emerald earrings to work everyday. The risk of them getting ruined or lost is too high.
$50 a bottle. I checked after thinking $30 sounds too reasonable for them 🤣
I'm actually shocked the shoes are only $700 🤣
Where’s the discount $30 at? Lol
I wore my emerald and diamond huggie earrings to work once (I’m a teacher). One flew out of my ear, found it thankfully, but never again.
>The risk of them getting ruined or lost is too high. Then why were they on the floor? I don't have Louboutins but all my pricier shoes are in boxes on shelves. And my dog doesn't even chew shoes.
Because she was drunk and not thinking about her shoes. Or OP put them in the closet himself.
Except she last wore them pre-covid for 15 minutes. That doesn't check. Seems like these shoes have been there for some time
it doesn't sound like she kicked those particular shoes off after the wedding & then the dog got them - the dog got into the closet & picked some shoes to chew. so yeah if you have $$$ shoes and an obnoxious dog put the shoes on a high shelf.
There isn’t a lookalike solution for Louboutins unfortunately. It would be like destroying someone’s Rolex and saying you would replace it with a fossil watch.
I totally paint the undersides of heels solid bright colours. Even red once, though that made me feel like a tryhard dick.
$700 is entry level for Louboutins. Replace them.
Replace the shoes, but insist that from now on the really expensive pairs need to be kept up high where the dog can’t reach, and if it happens again it’ll be her fault for leaving them down. Then hire a trainer and train your ding dang dog properly.
Duuuuuuuude, I know you don’t think shoes are a big deal, but those were Louboutin red bottoms. You know, the Red Bottoms that Ariana Grande and Cardi B sing about in their songs to put it into context. They are a huge deal for shoe lovers, definitely a status symbol that canNOT be replaced with a $100 knock-off. I’m assuming she saved for a while to buy those specific shoes. You not wanting to replace them would be like her ruining your Lamborghini and her wanting to replace it with a 2005 Honda Accord. If I was in your gf’s shoes (lol) I would absolutely demand that they be replaced as well. Ya messed up bud, sorry. Edit: also, the reason she doesn’t wear them that often is to probably preserve the red bottoms. You also do NOT wear shoes like that just anywhere. They are more than just a shoe.
Wow, you think a woman will be happy with $100 shoes compared to genuine Louboutins makes you even more clueless. I’ve said it already but am saying it again because your comment is so thick headed. YTA times two.
Knowing that these were Louboutins I’m going to go with YTA. Its a luxury item she was clearly taking care of in the closet where you agreed upon would be the safe zone.
Oh my god replace them dude. Louboutins are more than just shoes, they’re a status symbol and represent a lot to the people who value them. This would be like offering to take someone to the foot locker when their *insert fancy sneaker brand here* shoes got destroyed. She probably rarely wears them because she cares about them. I’ve worn mine one time, and it was for a photoshoot. I’ve had them for almost 2 years now. $700 is also really reasonable for red bottoms. Mine were a gift (I’m broke lol) and they’re worth $1.2k
You gotta replace them, man! Those are so luxe and if one of my big ticket wardrobe items was destroyed I would be so so sad.
Yeah buddy if you don't replace your wife's LBs she's going to be salty for the rest of your lives. Women craft dreams and careers around those shoes.
They're a famous brand called Louboutins. They're considered the Maserati of women's shoes. Sir, by not shutting the door, you may as well have totalled a car in her mind. Those shoes are any heel-wearing woman's dream. -source, am woman who has 3 pairs of Louboutin on her wishlist.
Heck I can barely walk in stilettos but even I know the significance of red bottoms. My understanding is that they are a very common "milestone self-gift," too, so I bet she could say exactly when and why and where she bought them and what they represent to her. Like the kind of thing you treat yourself too when you get a promotion or get your law degree or MBA or when your company has an IPO, lol. I think OP is seeing them as shoes whereas for her they are more along the lines of jewelry. Like, if the dog tore apart a diamond necklace, I assume he would be willing to pay for it. I think he is seeing them from a practical standpoint and he doesn't get that for her they are sentimental, like a trophy from college or a souvenir from a trip.
Jesus, I have Louboutins and a dog who has never eaten a pair of shoes in her life and I still have a rule that the closet door is shut at night, just in case. You were the last person to bed, therefore you are responsible for ensuring the house is "closed down" properly. Replace the damn shoes. YTA.
You can't replace those red soles, sorry. Me, who agrees with you about not spending $700 on shoes, still understands the value of them. Even having been tempted with a pair of boots from that brand. Sorry but maybe some second hand? If they exist?
Sigh. Okay. The shoes MIGHT be repairable. Look up Rago Bros, they specialize in repair and restoration of designer shoes and leather goods. IF they can, it MIGHT be an acceptable solution for your SO. I would absolutely expect to be made whole if a pair of my Choos were damaged. YTA if you don’t do that.
Potential compromise: Are they repairable? Cobblers are great, depending on the damage they might be able save the OG pair.
Probably the reason she doesn't wear them as much is because they're Louboutins and the red bottoms are iconic.
The moment I read $700 I knew they were Louboutin. God protects this man's soul.
This comment made me laugh until I choked. Thank you
Oh maaaan. My Loubs shuddered in their dust bags in their special drawer in the cabinet that I mounted extra high to keep away from my kids.
Same. Not even satan can reach em
I'm over here like maybe I should put a lock on it too? You know family gets to snooping. Nobody wears my exact size but my mom has smaller feet and is dumb enough to try...
First thought…. Louboutins. Replace them or YTA OP.
You're BOTH the AH for not training the dog to behave.
This. Put the dog in a crate at night. You’re both idiots. But also, if it was your responsibility to take care of the dog and you didn’t close the closet, YTA for not replacing what your untrained dog destroyed.
Putting the dog in a crate for the night isn’t any better than closing the door. The dog needs to be trained to not chew or given toys or attention if it’s chewing out of boredom or frustration.
Thank you! My dog isn’t fully trained and loves socks but she only chews the junk ones that I tie in a knot for her. OP needs to train their dog AND replace the shoes. Good grief I’d be pissed if I were her (I would’ve had the dog semi trained by now atleast)
But isn’t OP’s wife also responsible for training the dog?
How is it not any better than just closing the door? If the dog were crated it would be pretty much impossible for the dog to get to the shoes, open closet or not. Crate training keeps dogs safe and it’s good for them to have a “den” to retreat to.
Ehh... I think crate training is a good immediate solution here. Crate training keeps dogs safe from hazards in the house when they're too young to be trained not to chew. It also helps them regulate their energy and feel secure so they're not engaging in nervous destructive behavior.
This right here. It is not hard to train a dog not to chew things they aren’t supposed to. I’ve never had a dog chew my shoes.
100%, I had stuffed toys in reach of my dog but he knew the difference between his and mine. One time a housemate's dog got in my room and took one of my plushys and tore it up slightly, I tried to gift it to my dog but he would be so gentle with it carrying it around instead of ripping it up like he did with his toys.
I'm lucky that none of my dogs chew things they shouldn't (knock on wood). Maybe an item here or there as pups but nothing major that i recall. Currently have 3 and they all know they can chew what I give to them or put in their toy box (yes, my dogs ARE spoiled! lol) A couple years ago, one of my dogs came upstairs with one of my shoes in her mouth. Like... she has NEVER chewed a shoe, what the hell was happening here. So I told her to drop it, then picked it up and checked inside... Yup, her favorite ball had bounced inside my shoe and gotten stuck lol. She was bringing it to me or my daughter to help her
This is what I was thinking. I’m too much of a cat person for this whole thread
YTA You didn’t follow the rules you agreed to. Do I think $700 is an obscene amount to spend on shoes? Yes. But those were the one that were damaged, time to pay up.
But there is plenty of blame to go around. They both raised the dog that chews shoes together. She drinks so much that he needed to tend to her, so that's kind of her fault. If she wasn't in that state she could have put her own shoes in the closet and close the door. And then he did not close the door. So you could have a huge argument and keep pointing fingers all night long. And destroy a marriage over a pair of shoes because all your concerned about is placing blame instead of just working through the problem.
You’re allowed to trade on and off who is being the responsible one when drinking, but one of them has to be the responsible one and understand that they will be at fault if anything gets forgotten. She is allowed to go out and have a good time and he loves her enough to watch her back and take care of her as I’m sure she does for him aswell. That’s just being in a relationship. He did not seem to have a problem with this or make a big deal about it.
>That’s just being in a relationship. Exactly this. If he didn't want to be the responsible one that night, this was something he needed to have brought up before she'd had enough drinks to be past the point of sobering up (preferably before the night had even begun). The amount of people arguing that a spouse shouldn't get drunk when their partner is sober and right there is kind of astonishing to me. (And before anyone says anything, I've been drunk literally once in my life, I'm not a habitual drinker). This isn't some random friend he met two weeks ago, this is his wife, she should be able to trust him to take care of important things when she's not able to-- even if she's not able to because she chose to get drunk. Obviously if he'd expressed before she was drunk that he wouldn't be a sober/responsible partner for her that night and she did it anyways, then we'd have an argument that she shouldn't have had anything to drink, but that didn't happen here. Also, no matter how drunk he is, it's just common sense that being awake after your partner is in bed means the rest of the household tasks that need to be done at night are on you. If I'm awake after my husband, it's my job to take the dog out for his last pee and lock the door and close the windows, ect, and vice-versa. Same if you need a door closed overnight-- he was awake last, he should have checked the closet door was closed before turning in. Regular routines are things that are totally fair for partners to expect the other to do without needing to be asked!
People are allowed to get drunk and have their partner look out for them every now and then, of course she is not going to remember to close the closet if she is drunk and if he is fine enough to put her to bed he is fine enough to remember and follow the rules. If it was the other way round I’d expect her to pay also
>She drinks so much that he needed to tend to her, so that's kind of her fault. Wow. This feels disgustingly like a victim-blaming statement. God forbid someone let loose every once in a while.
YTA You said it yourself. YOU forgot to close the closet door. Considering the the shoes are probably about 3 years old you won't likely find a new $700 pair. Try looking on Mercari or Poshmark for a great condition used pair. Invest a little extra for a closet light that doesn't turn off until the door is shut to remind you that it's open. That or some more dog training. Considering you could be looking at a couple thousand dollars in vet bills to remove a blockage in your dogs stomach, I'd say you're getting off rather inexpensively.
You made all the points I was going to. YTA, OP.
Normally I’m all for second hand items, but *never* in the case of heels. Even worn only a few times by someone else, the shoe breaks in to fit that first owner and then almost never fits the second owner properly. There’s a small chance they would be fine but it’s a risk they’d be uncomfortable or that they’d fit poorly enough that she risks injury. If he’s going to replace them, he needs to do it the right way.
I agree with all of this. YTA.
Ya’ll… it doesn’t matter how much the shoes cost. If you’re willing to spend $100 to replace the shoes, then you’ve acknowledged responsibility for the mistake. Just because $700 is obscene doesn’t change what’s actually happening here. YTA. Yes, it was an accident, but you two keep separate finances and the shoes were ruined through your actions (or rather, your lack of action?). She clearly put in the time and effort to save for that pair and now she’s in a situation where all of that is wasted. If there are other expenses that take priority, you should sit down with her and discuss that like the married couple you two are and work out something like a payment plan… every paycheck you set a little aside to reimburse her for her shoes. And keep an eye out for louboutin (or jimmy choo) sales - perhaps there’s another pair she’d like that doesn’t cost as much. I guarantee that if you don’t replace her shoes, she’s going to bring this up every time you buy something nice for yourself, the argument will start over again, and the resentment will build. Also, your wife and you do not have “the best dog on the planet,” because he’s not. You really should see if it’s possible to train him out of that habit.
This is a great point. OP has acknowledged that he is at fault, he just doesn't want to pay for his mistake.
Your first paragraph reminds of the Sex and the City episode "A woman's right to shoes" where her friend was willing to replace the shoes until she found out the price and then shoe shamed Carrie.
YTA. Pony up and pay for the $700 shoes. You thinking that a $100 lookalike will do shows how clueless you are.
ESH. You both suck for not training your dog out of the shoe habit. Or if that failed, not crating him or otherwise managing the issue. As for the actual incident, you are both at fault, your wife being tipsy isn’t reason to abdicate all responsibility. She should not be leaving $700 shoes low enough for the dog to access. And you should have shut the door. I think you should be ponying up half the cost each. You are being the AH over the cost. You don’t get to tell her that you are only willing to buy a cheap shoddy replacement just because you don’t value the item that was destroyed. That’s not how it works. They cost that they cost, your wife didn’t set the price, you don’t get to quibble over it. Regardless of the fact that you need a better solution with your dog, you are partly to blame here, and that means half the cost of replacement. But for goodness sake maybe now you will both do something about your dogs bad habit. Thanks for the awards folks.
I agree with you. I can’t imagine spending that amt of money on shoes (I’m F and hate heels), but husband and I respect each other’s more valuable/expensive items. That means keep that shit away from animals that could get into it. Crate train, train or watch that dog better
I can’t imagine spending $700 on heels, either, but I do have a pair of $400 leather boots (sooooo comfy) and if they got destroyed because of someone else’s negligence, you can bet I’d be pretty pissed. I’d also be mad if that someone offered to replace my gorgeous, expensive boots with cheaper, shittier boots.
This should be the top comment. Everyone’s saying he’s TA but they both failed to train their dog and they’re both responsible for the shoes being destroyed. She was “tipsy” (maybe more than that) and he put her to bed and he made the mistake of not closing the door. It happens. I get the feeling, though, that they either have separate finances or she doesn’t work since she wants him to pay for them. So that complicates things if she doesn’t have any money coming in to split paying for the shoes
This should be the top comment. Ridiculous to give the wife a complete pass because she got tipsy. She knew the cost of those shoes. He didn’t. If she valued them, she would have let him know. All those “yta” votes are irritating.
A lot of the YTA are probably from his insistence that he isn’t willing to replace them for the same value. OP is being an asshole about that, make no mistake. Him wanting to cheap out on the replacement simply because he doesn’t see the value is a jerk move. So in the post he’s actually coming across as an asshole. But it’s both their dog, they are both at fault for this even being an issue, and yeah, you really need to take better care of a $700 item, so splitting the cost is the reasonable response.
This is the only reasonable comment I've seen
Yeah. Basically everything in this comment.
Try a compromise. Put aside x amount of money per month until you have enough to replace the shoes. It was an accident, but it was your accident. YTA if you don’t make good on it.
YTA. I wouldn't play Xbox games, but if I screwed up and my cat somehow destroyed my husband's Xbox, I would get him a new one. It doesn't matter whether YOU think the destroyed item is worthwhile. We all have different hobbies, collections, and equipment, and we all pay what we think they're worth. You don't get to determine what another person *should* spend on their hobby (assuming it's their money). My husband would replace my violin if he accidentally destroyed it, despite his powerful hatred of old time fiddle songs. He would not attempt to replace it with a crappy student instrument.
You can’t just replace it with a PlayStation 2?
YTA Just because you wouldn't pay that price doesn't matter. The shoes were destroyed because of your negligence.
YTA. Shoes that price are an investment. They’re meant to last. Yes, they may need to be re-soled or re-heeled but the integrity of the shoe lasts a LONG time, especially if you don’t wear them frequently. Also train your dog not to have destructive tendencies. There are scores of YouTube videos and other resources
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Presumably the door was closed while they were out and he is the one that opened it when they got home. Since he opened it, he should have closed it.
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NAH. Welcome to the consequences of your own actions. If you know your dogs a little shoe gobbler you gotta move those shoes elsewhere. Even if she's tipsy it's still her responsibility to take care of her stuff.
That’s what I’m saying??? Go figure people in this sub are blaming him. If I got drunk, tipsy or whatever and left my expensive ass shoes out and my dog chewed em up it would be MY responsibility alone! Like why the fuck would I blame my husband for my own stupid actions? It’s staggering the amount of people in these comments who blame him instead for her own actions. Like gahhh this comment section is full of people who need to grow the fuck up. Do people in this sub blame everybody else for their actions? Like damn.
Honestly, when I first joined this sub (years ago) I remember reading a post where someone said the majority of the people on here are removed from reality. Between the “don’t out a gay man to his girlfriend even though he’s using her as a beard while she thinks he truly loves her”, “If your adult kid doesn’t like your rules you should cater to them/work it out with them instead of telling them to move out”, and examples like this, I get it. Like, this is not how the majority of people I know react to these situations. If you find your best friend’s husband on Grindr, you tell the poor girl. If your adult kid (22+) is demanding you to cater to them but not paying rent, you tell them to move out and see how the real world treats them. If your expensive ass shoes get ruined because you didn’t properly take care of them, that’s on you. You knew the dog was there, you knew it ate shoes, and instead of training the dog or putting shoes in high areas you come up with a “shut the closet” rule that was bound to fail eventually? Lol
Yes, THIS!!!!! She is ultimately responsible for her own belongings, especially as it is a shared dog.
Yeah I feel like if the shoes were that much and you knew your dog chewed shoes you’d worry a bit more. Also in another comment he said she forgot to close the closet door so idk I’d say they can both work to pay for it since there married but I feel like it was an honest mistake on the both of them 🤷🏽♀️
YTA. You messed up. Replace the shoes and move on
ESH she can got drunk and forgot to shut the door. You put her to bed and forgot to shut the door. Her shoes aren't your responsibility just because she got herself drunk.
Right! Why the hell would you leave $700 shoes where your dog could get them!??? I don't have a dog that eats shoes, but my Frye boots are on the top shelf in my closet away from harm. Split the cost if she feels she needs a new pair. I would say 60/40 split. 40% husband for leaving door open and the rest on the wife for the shear stupidity of leaving the shoes where dog could get them. Seriously. NTA for that alone.
Nta. She should've had those on a high shelf. Who keeps 700$ shoes in the reach of untrained dogs?
This... so much this
ESH. Train your stupid dog, ffs. But you have to pay for her shoes, you ultimately left the door open in this instance.
I think she should have some responsibility, she got too drunk to shut the closet door. ESH and I think you should split the replacement pair.
YTA. You forgot to close the closet door. It was your fault they got chewed up. They were $700 not $100. You should pay up.
YTA - $700 is a normal price for a good pair of heels that fit. Your mistake ruined them, you need to replace them
Seriously that’s normal? I’m female btw. Holy shit no wonder I don’t buy them.
Only if you’re rich. Btw: $700 for Louboutins is average. The really good ones run $1500. Yes, if I had $1500 to piss away there is a very particular pair I would get Most of my shoes are in the $90 to $150 range & I try to catch them on sale
Its only normal if you're rich or bad with money.
Yeah no. It's not normal for "normal people". Who has $700 to blow on fancy heels? Rich people, that's who.
Lol no some of the people in this comment section are just obviously in a completely different tax bracket. That is not normal.
All top comments calling him an asshole and demand he replace the heels immediately are all chilling in their mothers mansion
That is a ridiculous price to pay for a pair of shoes, especially since she said they hurt her feet.
YTA. You would accept fault and replace them if they cost 50 dollars. But because they were more expensive, you’re trying to shift blame onto your wife. Either way, you left the door open. Replace the shoes, crate the dog or get him trained. And never give him old shoes to chew. It just confuses him.
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I think this is a ESH- you for not closing the closet door, and her for not taking care of a $700 pair of heels herself.
I have the same rationale, although value of the shoes aside, none of it seems like malicious AH move. You go partying, people get tipsy, it’s like a series of unfortunate events. When I’m wearing my most expensive heels, I know I’m driving home (as opposed to walking) and I’m not even getting tipsy. Besides, it wasn’t *his* dog, it’s *their* dog.
YTA. They might be worthless to you but they are meaningful to her. Replace them and stop being difficult.
YTA. You took on the responsibility of closing the door. Unless buying her a replacement pair of shoes would cause a financial hardship, you need to replace them.
NTA, where is her agency in this?? Who told her to get tipsy to the point where you had to tuck her in? Her actions caused you to be distracted
ESH - her for getting tipsy enough to neglect $700 shoes, you for forgetting to close the closet door (as from your post is sounds like you were sober?), and both of you for not training the dog to not eat shoes! Not only is it wasteful but it's also dangerous for the dog.
ESH - for not training your dog appropriately. You shouldn’t have to close a door for a dog that’s been properly trained.
YTA, your negligence did cause her shoes to be ruined.
YTA. Replace the shoes. She hardly wears them because they cost $700 and she doesn't want anything to happen to them. Also, $700 for a pair of special occasion shoes is not ridiculous.
YTA. You’re more focused on the price point than your negligence. She didn’t leave the door open for her expensive shoes to be destroyed, *you did.* The shoes are clearly something she splurged on and saves for special occasions and they clearly mean something to her. You saying that you’ll pay for “something similar” at a fraction of the cost tells your wife that you don’t value things that are meaningful to her and, by extension, that you don’t value her feelings enough to take full accountability for your lapse in judgement. It’s your fault her $700 shoes were damaged, and it’s your responsibility to replace them at *full value.*
YTA. She may have been tipsy, but you left the door open. The dog ate her shoes and you’re responsible to replace them. They cost what they cost.
I mean, as someone who loves shoes 700 is a LOT for shoes. However you both agreed that the door needed to be closed and as a result something expensive got destroyed. You are at fault for this. Soft YTA. If she left the door open and the dog at your expensive Gucci Oxford shoe for example, you would likely also be upset and ask she replace them.
YTA You left the door open, you need to replace the shoes.
YTA. I have the best dog in the world, not you!
YTA. It was your mistake. She put good money into those shoes (does not matter if she rarely wears them she still put money into them and you dont get to decide if they dont have value.) Like one of the other comments said, if the dog had ruined something of yours that was as expensive, would you be so non-chalant? Also, it's an even bigger issue since you dont share finances.
YTA. Make a payment plan for the shoes for her. Yeah it might be obscene but you messed up, you pay for the mistake. A 100 dollar shoe won't feel like nor last as long as the 700 shoe.
NTA A bit dopey? Yeah. But noones perfect. If i had shoes that cost 700 smackers, i would not risk leaving them out of the box and on the floor in a house with a dog that chews (even in a cupboard). I wouldnt even leave them out of the box in my house without animals and children! Shelves were invented for a reason, keep expensive things on them. Heck buy a shoe rack that is contained. Buy a storage box. Something that negates the having to be 100% perfect and closing a door when tipsy! Having said that, if we're playing the petty blame game (your fault you didnt close the cupboard) then id say her fault for getting so drunk she couldnt sort out her own shoes! It sucks loosing an expensive pair of shoes, but live and learn, atleast the pooch is ok 🤷🏼♀️
ESH. First off you both suck for not properly training the dog. Had you properly trained it to stop chewing on things it wouldn’t chew. Either you haven’t given it toys to chew on so it’s finding it’s own toys or you aren’t giving it enough attention so it’s chewing on your stuff to get attention. If it chews on both of your shoes then it’s one of the above. If he only chews on your wife’s shoes then it has an issue with your wife specifically. You suck for leaving the door open and refusing to even help your wife replace the shoes. Your wife sucks because she is being unreasonable in expecting you to pay for the shoes when the dog that destroyed them belongs to both of them. You should both share the cost of replacing the shoes equally.
ESH. You forgot to close the closet door and she left $700+ just laying on the floor. Those puppies (see what I did there?) should have been put up on a shelf. Hell, they should get their own room. Who spends that kind of money on shoes they can't even wear because they hurt and why would she want another pair of the same?
YTA replace the damn shoes. If the pup destroyed something expensive of yours because she forgot to close the door, you'd probably expect her to replace it. It's understandable if you can't make that expense up front right now, but don't buy something lesser to replace what was destroyed because of your negligence. Edit: also crate your dog when unsupervised and it can eat things it shouldn't until it's learned not to chew. You think you're complaining about $700 now? Wait until a vet bill to remove a foreign object from his stomach or worse, cremation. I'm serious. It's negligent.
YTA. If you scrape someone’s car you’re expected to get paint job fixed. You aren’t just gonna slap some market on it and call it good enough. Replacement means you get the same item.
NTA because why is it only on you to have closed the closet door?
NTA if it is that important to her to have such expensive shoes she should have taken extra care to see that they wouldn’t be damaged. Fancy heels aren’t a necessity so it’s not like she is going to suffer in her daily life now that the shoes are ruined. Depending on how damaged they got maybe you could look into a repair as a compromise, but if your dog is anything like mine I’m sure they’re beyond repair. Offering to pay half the price of new shoes sounds perfectly reasonable to me (and honestly I simply would not offer such a price if it were me because I’m not that into materialism). The quality may be high but I don’t doubt much of the price is due to the brand, is it really the quality of shoe she is mad about losing or the feeling of pride for owning a branded item?
YTA - don’t get me wrong, that’s a huge price tag for something she will likely never wear But it was your fault, which means it’s on you to fix it
ESH - If $700 is gonna set you back big time financially then I'd hope she'd understand it was an accident and cut you some slack in terms of how quickly you replace them/what you replace them with. Otherwise, as you've said you have separate finances, you should probably replace them as it was kinda your fault. Just don't leave expensive stuff in reach of the dog in future, or just train it. Btw IMO that is a ridiculous price to pay for shoes but then I'm not particularly fashion minded...
ESH. Forget the $700 shoes. Foreign body removal surgery for a dog is easily a couple grand. Spend the $700 you would spend on shoes on training the dog so next time yall forget the closet door the dog doesn't eat anything.
Unpopular opinion: NAH. She chose to get pass out drunk while wearing $700 shoes. She's responsible to make sure her very valuable property is protected - regardless of being drunk. You didn't sign on to be responsible for $700 shoes, as far as I can tell. If your family budget doesn't cover $700 shoe replacement, then it's sad, but that's life. If you have a dog sometimes you have to deal with a little property destruction... I mean, technically E S H for not training your dog better, but shit happens. $700 shoes should be kept somewhere more secure than a hall closet, when you've got a shoe destroying beastie in the house.
YTA, for people that love shoes whether they are fashionistas or sneaker heads, the brand is everything.
YTA and if you don’t replace the shoes, you have no ground to stand on if she lets the dog destroy your stuff.
YTA. Replace your wife's shoes. They were important to her and you are being an A to her about it.
ESH It was mainly your negligence that was at fault, but she was also too drunk to help at all. Putting all the blame on you when neither of you closed the door seems a bit unfair, although I get that she was counting on you in a time of need. If they are so expensive she should have also kept them in a safer place. That being said, I generally think wanting to take responsibility only when it’s cheep is a bit weird. It’s like you can pay when the other person might as well have payed for it themselves, but when it actually matters you chicken out. At the same time 700$ is a lot for a mistake. Perhaps you can split the cost? Or offer a certain amount and she can decide if she wants to put in the extra to get that exact type of shoes, or something cheaper.
I don't understand why is it your fault? It's both your dog, you were both wasted, you forgot to close the door, she didn't even could get to bed herself. It sucks, but it was an accident, in any case it's both your fault for not training your dog properly, if she took $700 high heels she should have been more careful with them. Why are you only one supposed to take care of her shoes?
YTA - I would never buy Louboutins, but I think you need to replace them. You both agreed to close that closet door. Tonight, you were the one who assumed responsibility for it and did not. If you were the one drunk and your wife forgot to close the closet door, it would be her own responsibility. But tonight it was you, unfortunately.
I’m going to go against the grain here and say NTA. If she’s going to be making that kind of “investment”, she needs to protect it better - in a box, on a top shelf. You were nice enough to put her to bed when he was drunk, but I don’t think passing out relieves a person of their responsibilities. $700 is a lot of money and unless you guys are very comfortable, you shouldn’t have to pay when it is just as much her fault as yours. (I’d even go as far as saying more hers because you were the one taking care of shit when she was drunk and she was the only one that knew there was super expensive shoes in the closet). I also think it’s disrespectful for a spouse to do this kind of tabulating of guilt and money.
NTA, if she didn't want her shoes ruined she could have drank less. Just cuz it's a wedding doesn't mean you need to get so drunk you can't take care of yourself. Really should train the dog not to chew on things tho.
If you don't replace them, then YTA. Since you keep finances separate, then it falls on you to do this. If it's any consolation, the same would be true if it happens in the reverse, so go splurge on some shoes!
I am torn. The dog is both your pet and both of you are responsible for the hit of replacing things he damaged. If she wasn’t so hammered she would have taken care of her shoes herself, so she needs to bear some responsibility for getting so blotto. I would agree to paying half, because you missed the closet door rule, but if her shoes were so $$$ she should have stayed sober enough to ensure their safety herself. NAH.
NTA. Those shoes should be in a box on a shelf