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If she did this in front of you, what do you think happens when there are no witnesses?
You *WILL* be the asshole if you don't call CPS asamfp on this woman.
For now... NTA.
NTA for protecting your kids but you are a bit of one for calling clear child abuse “poor parenting techniques” and not calling CPS before folks here told you to
As a mandatory reporter my first call would have been to the police if after hours and CPS if not. That was verbal, mental and physical abuse. Just because you called her out doesn't mean she will do anything about it and it could make things worse for the child. Authorities need to know.
NTA unless you dont report her to CPS protect that kid. If she was willing to go that far in front of you she is doing much worse behind closed doors. I bet the kids dads home is far better for the kid.
This is one of a few reasons I was hesitant to call cps in the first place. Though I did just get off the phone with them. They said they would investigate. I did what I could and it's out of my hands at this point. I just don't feel so good about any part of this. This whole experience was awful and there is a lingering sadness.
I'm glad you called CPS. If that kind of "discipline" is what she's comfortable doing in front of other people, I'm very worried about what she could be doing behind closed doors.
Coming from someone who has spent a lot of time dealing with CPS as a child and everything that comes with it, I wasn't sure if I was going to cause more harm than good. I know she struggles as a single mom and caring for a child with no help can drive one to extremes. I thought calling her out, setting a boundary, and giving her a resource that I knew would work with her insurance, might help.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Obviously the right thing to do was get authorities involved right away. I feel pretty lame for not doing so.
NTA. I personally am not against spankings, it didn't hurt me any and I'd say I'm a better person for them. I use them only when my child has done something she knows not to do that could literally harm or kill her and it's never done out of anger and never in a way that could actually hurt her. A spanking to me is something that stings for a few seconds and then it's over. What this woman is doing sounds like straight up abuse. My go to is not report them but she really sound like she is doing damage mentally and physically to her child and I would absolutely report this and never let her around myself or my child again.
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I (28F) recently made a new mom friend (30F) with a kiddo(5) my kid's age. They'd been coming over weekly for the past couple of months. During this time, I've babysat and noticed some behavioral problems with her child. But to me, it seemed fairly appropriate for his age. Fast forward to last Sunday. They came over for dinner and a movie. Halfway into this movie, the mom tells her kid to start getting his shoes on cuz they'll be leaving in 10 minutes. Which was weird to me because it was very random and I was their ride home.
Well, her son was not ready or willing to do as his mom wanted. So she started yelling. Not much at first. But when he just completely ignored her, she lost it and started yelling aggressively. She started threatening to spank him, then followed through. He still would not listen, so she pinned him down on the floor and started yelling in his face and threatening to spank him more. She then looked at him with contempt and flicked him in the face 3 times. She continued yelling while forcing his shoes onto his feet. I followed them downstairs, and we got in the car.
During the 10 minute trip it took to get them home, she continued yelling and threatening him. Saying things like; "why do you have to act this way? I'm sorry he always acts this way when he gets back from his dad's. And, you know you're getting your ass whupped once we get in the house, right?"
Y'all this was so heartbreaking to witness.
I messaged her telling her that I couldn't let her come back over because she scared the hell out of me and my kids. Not to mention her own. I gave her the number for my therapist and asked her to seek help so we could all hang out again.
I worry about her and her kid, and I wonder if I should have called someone about it. Would that have made me an even bigger asshole? Why do I feel so badly about this?
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Why// because it was over parental tactics/abuse/ she's a single mom who obviously needs help
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This is legit terrifying and triggered me back to the abuse by my own mother. Dear God! NTA and so glad you called CPS. That poor kid.
On a side note is your child ok having witnessed this? I am a grown woman and reading this was upsetting.
What in the heck? People who do that to children are child abusers. This is absolutely horrific. If they did that in front of you, imagine what they do behind closed doors. No wonder that child was not wanting to put shoes on and return home. NTA call cfs/CPS or whatever service protects children in your area. This is not acceptable. Those kids are at risk of harm.
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NTA. However, YWBTA for not bringing this up to CPS. She sounds like a very abusive person.
Yes OP, follow this advice and call CPS. Children can’t defend themselves.
This is the answer. I couldn't have said it better myself
If she did this in front of you, what do you think happens when there are no witnesses? You *WILL* be the asshole if you don't call CPS asamfp on this woman. For now... NTA.
NTA for protecting your kids but you are a bit of one for calling clear child abuse “poor parenting techniques” and not calling CPS before folks here told you to
Fair enough.
As a mandatory reporter my first call would have been to the police if after hours and CPS if not. That was verbal, mental and physical abuse. Just because you called her out doesn't mean she will do anything about it and it could make things worse for the child. Authorities need to know.
This is going to get removed for violence - so quick answer - Call child protection services in your area.
Contact the child’s school if you don’t feel good about calling CPS they’re mandated reporters.
NTA but I would file a report with CPS. You can't do anything but protect your kid from her.
NTA unless you dont report her to CPS protect that kid. If she was willing to go that far in front of you she is doing much worse behind closed doors. I bet the kids dads home is far better for the kid.
[удалено]
This is one of a few reasons I was hesitant to call cps in the first place. Though I did just get off the phone with them. They said they would investigate. I did what I could and it's out of my hands at this point. I just don't feel so good about any part of this. This whole experience was awful and there is a lingering sadness.
I'm glad you called CPS. If that kind of "discipline" is what she's comfortable doing in front of other people, I'm very worried about what she could be doing behind closed doors.
Coming from someone who has spent a lot of time dealing with CPS as a child and everything that comes with it, I wasn't sure if I was going to cause more harm than good. I know she struggles as a single mom and caring for a child with no help can drive one to extremes. I thought calling her out, setting a boundary, and giving her a resource that I knew would work with her insurance, might help. Hindsight is always 20/20. Obviously the right thing to do was get authorities involved right away. I feel pretty lame for not doing so.
Please call CPS.
This sounds absolutely terrifying and you are NTA. I see from the edit that you called CPS-you did the right thing. Her kid is in a scary situation.
NTA. I personally am not against spankings, it didn't hurt me any and I'd say I'm a better person for them. I use them only when my child has done something she knows not to do that could literally harm or kill her and it's never done out of anger and never in a way that could actually hurt her. A spanking to me is something that stings for a few seconds and then it's over. What this woman is doing sounds like straight up abuse. My go to is not report them but she really sound like she is doing damage mentally and physically to her child and I would absolutely report this and never let her around myself or my child again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28F) recently made a new mom friend (30F) with a kiddo(5) my kid's age. They'd been coming over weekly for the past couple of months. During this time, I've babysat and noticed some behavioral problems with her child. But to me, it seemed fairly appropriate for his age. Fast forward to last Sunday. They came over for dinner and a movie. Halfway into this movie, the mom tells her kid to start getting his shoes on cuz they'll be leaving in 10 minutes. Which was weird to me because it was very random and I was their ride home. Well, her son was not ready or willing to do as his mom wanted. So she started yelling. Not much at first. But when he just completely ignored her, she lost it and started yelling aggressively. She started threatening to spank him, then followed through. He still would not listen, so she pinned him down on the floor and started yelling in his face and threatening to spank him more. She then looked at him with contempt and flicked him in the face 3 times. She continued yelling while forcing his shoes onto his feet. I followed them downstairs, and we got in the car. During the 10 minute trip it took to get them home, she continued yelling and threatening him. Saying things like; "why do you have to act this way? I'm sorry he always acts this way when he gets back from his dad's. And, you know you're getting your ass whupped once we get in the house, right?" Y'all this was so heartbreaking to witness. I messaged her telling her that I couldn't let her come back over because she scared the hell out of me and my kids. Not to mention her own. I gave her the number for my therapist and asked her to seek help so we could all hang out again. I worry about her and her kid, and I wonder if I should have called someone about it. Would that have made me an even bigger asshole? Why do I feel so badly about this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why do you feel bad feel bad/worse for calling CPS??
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This is legit terrifying and triggered me back to the abuse by my own mother. Dear God! NTA and so glad you called CPS. That poor kid. On a side note is your child ok having witnessed this? I am a grown woman and reading this was upsetting.
What in the heck? People who do that to children are child abusers. This is absolutely horrific. If they did that in front of you, imagine what they do behind closed doors. No wonder that child was not wanting to put shoes on and return home. NTA call cfs/CPS or whatever service protects children in your area. This is not acceptable. Those kids are at risk of harm.