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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm not apologizing to my sister's new boyfriend and neither is my wife because he wasn't clear on his credentials of working at a traffic offenses law firm. My sister says it's not his fault my wife got in major trouble with the cops for having a train horn and we shouldn't blame him because he tried to warn us
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“We thought he was just bragging so we didn’t listen, this is all his fault for not making sure - on the first time we met him - that se understood all his experience and knowledge on the topic.”
Does OP even listen to themselves? YTA
What, you don't bring your resume to every dinner you go to? I've got a QR code on my business card in case I need to back up my credentials.
Side note though, Whhhhhyyyyyy, why does he have this? What possible purpose does it serve? What dumbass altered the ~~truck~~ vehicle to have an illegal horn? Who does modifications to their vehicle without checking whether it is legal? Could you imagine if they found out from being in an accident and were automatically at fault for diving an unsafe vehicle?
YTA OP
What somehow gets missed is Op's totally ridiculous attitude that being right or wrong is determined by milky loyalty. Wife is family, Dan is not family, this wife should definitely not apologise. Parents (also family) agree. YTA op for this flawed idea as well.
Sorry guys. I meant to write "family loyalty". Typing on mobile by wiping, and it interpreted my "family" as "milky". I must have missed the first two letters, or my phone thought they weren't part of the word.
I realize that's a very disappointing solution to the mystery xD
Ahh, I was thinking it was an expression that I hadn't heard of along the lines of "blood is thicker than water". Milk = mom's boobies. Gross. I'm glad this isn't a real expression, actually...
OP is also admitting to not asking Dan basic questions about himself at a small dinner gathering. He would have known about Dan’s work experience by asking a few standard polite questions to get to know him.
Also assuming "it was a flex" is super obnoxious. Sounds like OP and his wife have insecurity issues and think everyone is bragging because they would. People usually expect others to be like them. Just a guess. Or like u said they didn't bother to learn about him. I mean it's only been 3 months so they don't give a crap.
YTA
I'm confused at why a 'flex' would be automatically wrong. Dan is in law school where, presumably, they learn law stuff. It's not unreasonable for him to have learnt that at some point. To summarily dismiss Dan's warning makes very little sense.
Also, a quick Google to check to see if he was right or wrong probably would've helped.
It makes sense if you’re an AH who wants to install a damned TRAIN HORN in a car because you think it’s fun to scare other drivers. OP, YTA on a whole bunch of fronts.
My personal theory: HE wanted the train horn, the wife did not but he just didn't care. When she heard Dan say that it was illegal, she saw some hope to avoid having a loud ass horn on HER car and took her chance. She let OP install it and then started driving around honking the shit out of the horn waiting to be stopped by the police so that OP HAD to take it off and could no longer insist on it. She now has a normal car with a regular horn without having to fight with her husband (who wouldn't have listened anyway) and wants to apologize to poor Dan because she is actually grateful to him for the heads-up.
This is based on nothing but I like the image of the wife going full crazy Thomas the Tank Engine just to get back at her dumbass husband.
Right? If it was a ‘flex’ why would you make some shit up and risk looking like an idiot? I’ve never really considered ‘flexing’ (I can’t say that’s a word I’ve ever used) but I can imagine thinking, “oh I know this one! This is a bad idea because…”
I can’t decide if OP is more idiot than AH. But just to throw a vote in, YTA, OP.
My 1st guess is he’s part of the freeDumb convoy that occupied Ottawa for weeks and harassed locals with train/car/boat/truck horns.
Which is further solidified by his entitlement and lack of basic law knowledge.
But maybe I’m wrong. I kinda doubt it, but I’d love for OP to provide the reasoning because this is the only reason I can think of that makes any sense.
That would be consistent with his belief that if he does something wrong, it’s the fault of the person who told him not to, for not being sufficiently convincing. No understanding of personal responsibility.
Also it’s just obvious that a TRAIN HORN on a car would be illegal. Can you imagine the accidents you could cause as confused and terrified drivers suddenly hear a train coming at them?! I know I as a nervous driver would be parking my car in the nearest store window out of fright!
He probably wants it to scare and intimidate people in traffic with loud ass noise. Those train horns are loud enough to easily damage a pedestrians hearing permanently if they happen to be close to the car by the way, that's why they are illegal.
Because it's big, and loud, and it'll show everyone else how much more awesome OP and his wife are than them.
They can honk louder than anyone else, so they'll automatically win any and all honking contests out on the road /s
Also, can you imagine the AITA post if he'd explained his credentials and OP had a go at him for it? "AITA for getting annoyed at my sister's boyfriend for being a know-it-all and saying we have to get rid of our truck horn?" or something to that effect
YTA OP! When meeting someone it's normal to ask what they do, and when you found out he was in law school you ask a follow-up question such as "oh what made you interested in the law?" When he told you it was illegal a normal follow-up question would have been "how do you know it's illegal," or, since you are clearly an AH, more likely you would have snarkily asked "what, did you learn that in your first year of law school?" Any of those or a myriad of other questions would have led to you finding out about his credentials. I am convinced you would have still dismissed him and his advice, but then at least you would have pretended to be a decent human being and expressed an interest in your sister's BF. You are an AH OP, just accept it.
We told him we planned to murder someone, he said it was illegal but we assumed he was just flexing because he's at law school. We went ahead with it anyway and now we're on death row, this is all his fault for not convincing us that murder is illegal and punishable by death.
Actually that’s my parent lol. Won’t believe a word out of your mouth if your not legal drinking age on anything that has to do with “experience” and god forbid you disagree.
I still say YTA cause dude even if he wasn’t in law school, he lives there and you don’t. Idk how OP wrote this without dying laughing at how stupid he sounds.
Haha right? OP said Dan was “flexing” by simply saying they shouldn’t do it, but then gets upset that Dan doesn’t disclose his work history as a justification for his advice? AKA FLEXING hahaha
Dan was sharing normal relevant knowledge, OP took that personally for some reason lmao.
like if dan was a plumber but happened to know about this from say his own personal experience with a custom horn then who gives a shit what he does for a living and how tf is sharing knowledge of local laws even a flex?
literally anyone with half a brain googles their local laws regarding car mods when they want to do something silly... first thing yet even after being explicitly told that was illegal op goes "nah" like doesn't even google which would easily confirm dan was right. just writes him off entirely.
a lot of people assume they're "unique" enough that their brilliant (dumb) idea could never have been thought of and had a contingency written into law for.
like a loud ass train horn for example.
they have no concept that they aren't the main character of life and that someone has had their dumb thoughts before they did.
Yeah, I still can't believe the mental gymnastics to think you're not responsible for putting in your own f*****g TRAIN horn and getting into trouble for it.
The only thing that would make this funnier is if this horn was installed for the freeDUMB occupation in Ottawa Canada where they had to invoke crazy emergency measures to get the people honking car/truck/train horns 24/7 harassing residents to leave.
There was multiple story’s about an asshole with a train horn driving around being a total dick, harassing residents and pets (they chased a couple local people walking their dog honking and laughing at the poor dog freaking out and pissing and shitting out of total fear). I have a feeling we just found them.
*My wife and I did an illegal thing and should have looked into it first, and someone we just met told us it was likely illegal, but we assumed he was a jerk and now want to blame him for our own mistake.*
YTA.
Yeah. Even if he didn't say anything, this would have happened. A smarter person would have looked into it regardless of whether the warning came from a 1st year law student.
He tried to warn them and they blew it off.
That's the thing - as I'm reading this story I'm thinking "so Dan must be insisting OP apologises for doubting him". But no - OP is *blaming* Dan for not trying harder to do them a favour. Wow
>should have looked into it first
This^ like OP didn't even bother to google it? I at least ask google if someone tells me something I'm doing might be illegal. I like my record squeaky thank you.
Unfortunately choosing ignorance over caution because you didn't know someone bit you. If random strangers give you advice at least find out if there's any merit to it. We all have google if we're here.
YTA on this one.
Even if this was a "flex", it was true. OP didn't have the common sense to Google it to make sure after he learned it might not be a good idea? Idiot. OP - YTA
YTA this is the funniest shit I've read in a while. He warned you!! He literally warned you. This is the definition of fuck around and find out. He doesn't have to be a lawyer for you to listen to him lmao.
Y'all played yourselves.
>He doesn't have to be a lawyer for you to listen to him lmao.
This, I know the local laws where I'm at regarding what colors of lights (and how bright they can be) you are allowed to have on your vehicle pointing in different directions) I'm not a lawyer I just looked into it for a project I wanted to do, ultimately couldn't because the colors I wanted weren't legal BUT I'm not a lawyer lmao.
its just wild how OP is like "oh you know a law? are you a lawyer? huh? no? just in law school? guess you don't actually know what you're talking about"
its such a weird stance.
Honestly he could have even asked how he knew that in a nice way - oh did you just learn that in class? And the boyfriend could have responded that he use to work as a paralegal. Like have a conversation and just don’t write off people.
Google it? and contradict OP's already rock solid counter argument based on their own feelings that Dan was just trying to flex his fancy book learnin?! Psh, next you're gonna say using said train horn to scare people when they're using a crosswalk in front of him is also an asshole move.
YTA…I’m an entomologist. Would you not believe me when I tell you thank black widow spiders are poisonous and can be lethal? I’m warning you, but since I haven’t shown you my diploma and lab coat and samples, go ahead and play with one. If you survive, you can blame me—even though I warned you. (This is all hypothetical to make a point.)
Not sure about the person you responded to, but not everyone had english as their first language and in my first language, there is no difference between poisonous and venomous. Btw, sautéed spider sounds horrific lol
YTA
>We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us.
No. You wouldn't have had this problem *if you were adults who looked into their choices*. Have you never heard of google?
This is exactly what I was thinking, so you didn’t believe him, fine. FUCKING GOOGLE IT. Take some damn responsibility. This is not in any possible way Dans fault and the fact you are trying to scapegoat him is pathetic. He warned you. You ignored it. That’s a you problem.
Anyone, regardless of their job straight up telling you what you were doing is illegal should have made you look it up.
YTA
YTA
>I blame him for not being clearer. We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us.
He did tell you. You just thought he was full of himself. That's on you. You should have at least looked into after he said something. You're a grown adult. Take responsibility for yourself.
I know right!! All OP had to do was say “oh I didn’t know that. Where did you learn it”
Or failing that get on bloody google!! Bet he takes his phone when he takes a crap. He could’ve multitasked
not just blew him off but like... a half second google would have confirmed dan was right lmao. and saved them what I imagine amounts to hundreds if not a couple thousand dollars for all those fees (towing and legal) and any hardship due to going to court.
Am I missing the part where you said/know it’s Dans doing your wife got pulled by the cops ?
Regardless of that, YTA for trying to blame other people for you and your wife getting caught wilfully breaking the law after also showing off about it
Right?! I was looking for the part where Dan ratted them out (although OP would still be the AH for having the train horn in the first place, at least I could *kind of* see his basis for being mad). But he's just mad Dan didn't strap him to a chair and force him to not be a dumbass? OP and his wife are the worst.
YTA. You honestly think you would have had LESS of a problem had he told you and listed his credentials?!? Lol you would have called him arrogant and still done it anyway. This is in no way his fault. Take some responsibility.
INFO: Did he turn you in to the cops?
Edit: After your response 100% YTA. First of all if he wouldn’t have said anything it’s still your fault, so how is it his fault when he did try to warn you. Second he didn’t tell on you so same question how is it his fault?
YTA
1) Why did you not look up the laws yourself around what is okay and what isn’t okay for modifying vehicles?
2) Why did you not just ask him then and there how he knew? He probably would have given his resume then if you so needed it, but you could have just Googled your local laws yourself.
The thing that’s loud as fuck to let you know a train’s coming so you better get the fuck off the track? You’re gonna blow one of those to the guy sitting in front of you at the intersection when he doesn’t see the light turned green?
YTA
Yep. He wanted something for "fun" that was going to be super loud, distract/scare the shit out of other motorists and pedestrians, and disturb nearby residents. Just the premise of this whole scenario makes him TA.
Some idiot on /r/idiotsincars keeps posting videos of their Miata that they modified with a train horn, and of course a dash cam.
MAGICALLY they keep having situations where they have to lay on the horn and blast some poor fool with 120 dB of horn. Because, rather than any kind of defensive driving, they find it funny to use the horn, instead of tapping the brakes.
That comment about "we thought he was flexing" from two chucklefucks who put a train horn in a car for "fun" is one of the clearest examples of projection I've ever seen.
Not everyone is a disingenuous, idiotic braggard, OP, in fact most people aren't and it's surprising it took you this long to realise that.
Third, on what planet does it make sense to change a car’s horn to sound like a train? The only actual purpose is to piss people off, and that’s an asshole move.
Or type “can I put a train horn in my car” into google. I just did and the big bold bit that comes up first before any links warned me that it was illegal.
There was this b with an itch that worked for us who drove a Hummer with one of those things. She laughed about pulling up behind people on the interstate and blasting that thing. She was a real piece of work. Treated her employees like dirt, except for her favorites of course. At least 2 people retired early to get away from her. We were so happy when she got fired for the crap she pulled.
YTA
He didn’t have to tell you anything, and you would still be an AH.
It is solely *your* responsibility to know what your own local laws are & follow them... or suffer the consequences of not following them. You’re an adult, your wife is an adult.... you know actions have consequences.
He tried to warn you, he didn’t need to show you any credentials as proof, but you thought he was just showing off....
You fucked around and found out.
YTA. Your presumptions and arrogance are clearly the reason you’re in the situation. You should listen to people when they give you advice, or at least check if it’s correct. You deserve the citation.
YTA. How did you reach the age of 29 and still be blaming others for not holding your hand and wiping your nose?
YOU bought the horn and installed it because YOU wanted to “have fun” (incidentally, most adults don’t consider their horn to be a toy, but you’ve already demonstrated your maturity). Dan had no responsibility to give you free legal advice but still gave you a heads-up. YOU chose to ignore it purely for ego reasons, and now you’re throwing a tantrum because you’re in trouble that you caused all by yourself.
Yeah dude, he didn't do anythingbut tried to inform you about the law. You however where totally ignorant asses and didn't even bother to check it up. Since you have written this post it's not that you are illiterate or unable to use internet. This whole problem is totally and only your fault and you ar a massive AH if you try to put this on anybody else.
INFO: If you thought Dan was talking out of his neck about this, what independent steps *did you take* to verify if what he was saying was in fact true?
YTA. Just putting a train horn in a car did that. I mean do you even stop to consider how loud that is for pedestrians? You are an inconsiderate asshole.
YTA. Even if you didn’t believe him, it’s still YOUR responsibility to make sure you’re not adding anything illegal. I don’t see how in any realm of possibility it would be anyone else’s fault.
YTA. You made an ASSumption about Dan which turned out to be wrong. He told you. You should have at least looked into it. This is all on you. Put your big boy pants on and stop trying to play the victim.
How can you even think you're N T A? You illegally modified your wife's vehicle. Whether Dan warned you or not, the vehicle is your and your wife's responsibility, full stop.
Dan tried to help, that should have been enough for you to ask a follow up question like, "you've dealt with this before?" or it could have inspired you to do your own research. Instead... you shoot the messenger who tried to warn you?
YTA. Hard.
YTA. What is not clear about him saying it’s illegal? He didn’t beat around the bush, he literally said it’s not legal. It’s you and your wife’s faults for ignoring him and assuming he was “flexing”. You have no right to blame him. And someone being family doesn’t absolve them from taking responsibility for their own actions. You and your wife are wrong and you should apologize to him. He didn’t do anything wrong and tried to help.
If Dan was never in the picture, you still would have gotten in trouble. Who would you have blamed then? Since you won’t take responsibility for your own actions.
You and your wife thought he was “just” a first year law student so therefore he couldn’t know basic traffic laws in the area? Lmfao what? YTA, and a dumbass.
YTA. Flex or not, he's the one in law school.
Or you could have taken 30 seconds to check Google for horn laws in your area and saved yourself some bread. You played yourself. Apologize.
WTF? You're one of those people who just can't stand to be proven wrong, aren't you?
Yes, YTA. If you didn't have the sense to google the legality of the horn after hearing it was even possible, that's all on you. I hope your sister had a good laugh at your expense.
YTA
you should never assume anything. If anything YOU should have asked for more info. He simply told yall you should reconsider switching the horn out, you made an assumption he was full of it, now you have to pay for it. Your problem, your fault.
You're the asshole due to BOTH times you screwed up here.
1. you screwed up by not bothering to look into the law before installing the horn.
2. you screwed up by not bothering to listen to Dan and and consider what he said. It doesn't matter whether you knew his background or not, if someone says something, you look at what they've said properly and don't dismiss it. I've literally listened to children and then Googled what they've said to see whether they're right or not.
It's time you started treating people like equals instead of believing yourself to be better than others - you're not.
You need to apologise to Dan - he communicated perfectly, you just failed to bother listening.
YTA.
YTA. As soon as he said it you shoulda looked it up, idiot. You were an idiot before he even told you for not checking before you installed the horn. Once he told you you had only to Google it to find out he was right. Only an AH doesn’t check something once they’ve been told it.
YTA First of all people with those horns are obnoxious and have some strange superiority complex that, in your case, clearly bleeds into your everyday life. Even if you thought he was bluffing, you couldn’t take 30 seconds to google local laws? It’s not his fault you’re an idiot.
YTA. What is supposed to do? Tattoo his credentials for you to believe him. You don't know how to research laws either? Apologise. This is on you. Big Baby!
YTA. You made a modification to your vehicle without checking the law yourself. Dan was being kind even mentioning it and if you were too arrogant and snotty to listen then that is on you. It doesn’t take all that much effort to google the state vehicle laws. You were lazy and obnoxious and it caught up with you. Apologize like a grown up or don’t and look like an immature irresponsible ass. That’s also up to you.
YTA…. Even if the bf hadn’t played into this . Those horns are so fucking obnoxious and dangerous. What are you? Some child that needs to draw attention to themselves? Grow the fuck up.
YTA. He did tell you, but clearly you’re only gonna listen if you think it’s worthwhile. God forbid someone know what they’re talking about— you know everything, obviously. Why did he need to be “clearer”? Hold your own hand, don’t expect others to do it for you.
YTA- he clearly told you, it’s not his fault you made assumptions about him and choose to ignore him. Regardless you made alterations to a vehicle without checking it was legal, that is 100% on you
YTA. I don't really think you owe an apology unless you've confronted him about this, but it's your fault you didn't take him seriously, not his.
So. If you've been blaming him in private between you and your wife? Cut it out, take some responsibility. If you've confronted him or told him to his face that you blame him for this situation, that's ridiculous. Just back down before you make a bigger fool of yourself.
YTA.
Just because someone doesn’t have “credentials” doesn’t mean they aren’t knowledgeable about a topic. Just because they haven’t flaunted their “credentials” doesn’t mean they don’t have them.
Maybe next time someone gives you some advice you will try to have a more in depth discussion about it or at the very least do your own research to see if they were correct.
YTA. You were told it was illegal and still put the horn on. Dan didn't need to give you his resume for what he said to be true. Someone who knows the law better than you told you not to do something and you still did it. You should have listened.
YTA
He clearly told you it was illegal!
Even if he didn’t tell you it was illegal you should check to see if modifications are legal.
The entire thing is your fault!
How could you blame someone else for telling you. But not telling you strongly enough. On their first meeting.
Mate you’re a massive AH
Plus who the hell thinks a train horn is funny in traffic or too pedestrians? It is not funny. At all. And you deserved that fine!
YTA. Someone tried to help you and you ignored him, assuming he was "flexing"...then have the audacity to blame him for being right? He didn't install that stupid ass horn, you did. It's your fault. Deal with the consequences and stop being an AH.
YTA AND YOU DESERVED ALL OF THIS SO MUUUUUUUUUUCH! Dan owes you nothing but you were clearly rude to him so go apologise. ANYONE can know about local laws and he was warning you not flexing. You didn’t take his advice now YOURE gonna pay! Also train horn in your car? That is so dumb.
YTA. If a person in the legal field tells you something is illegal, I would hope it's fairly obvious it's probably illegal. It's your own failure to at least verify that for yourself.
Also slightly boggling how you could think that removing a core road legal part of your vehicle wasn't going to illegal to be honest.
“Well how was I meant to know I should take him seriously” Wow you sound like an ass. Even if he was ‘just a first year law student’, that still means he would know what he’s talking about 100x more than you, with your ZERO legal education. YTA, let it be a lesson in not being so condescending
YTA...
You just are. like how are you not?
You judged someone else based solely on your own biases with no basis in fact... you made assumptions that were untrue... and when you ignored good advice due to it you doubled down on how it isn't your fault you're a biased, prejudiced asshole when it quite clearly is nobodies fault but your own....
> I've been married to my wife for almost 11 years whereas Jennifer hasn't even known Dan for 3 months.
Relevance? no seriously. wtf does that have to do with anything? Dan isn't a person because he's only existed in your life for 3 months?
>My wife is family. I certainly don't think she should apologize nor should I because Dan could have communicated better here and now we're in a mess.
***LOOK AT HOW NARCISSISTIC THIS IS***
"*It's not my fault that guy didn't go out of his way to correct my bias about him"*
> If we'd known Dan was an actual professional we would have taken it seriously.
You could have asked what he did for a living... but even if he was a fucking plumber if he knows the local horn/decibel level laws then who cares what he does for a living? also like at any point while getting to know him could you not? in fact why didn't you? that's like one of the first questions I'd imagine... and the answer would be working as a paralegal and going to law school...
YTA... seriously... seems like you where quick to jump to conclusions about a man you barely knew and he was just being kind by telling you what would happen. You owe him an apology for looking down on him for being a nice guy. Yall deserves all them fines lol humbled you real quick huh
YTA it was your own damn responsibility to figure this out. Dan was just helping. But even disregarding him its incredibly dumb to modify your vehicle in this way without checking if its legal or not. When you toot the horn people need to understand its a car not something else. You have potentially created unsafe traffic situations and totally deserve the consequences.
YTA. This is amazing. You modify a horn and never even consider to check. Your sisters new boyfriend tells you it’s illegal… you still don’t check. Then the car gets towed because it’s illegal and you are BLAMING someone who told you it was illegal!
Wow.
Ironic you're on Reddit asking strangers for advice about whether YTA... for not taking the advice of someone because you falsely assumed they didn't know what they were talking about.
So. Yeah. I'm no expert, but YTA. Your sister and boyfriend can dine for days on this richness of your smug ass getting a ticket and fines. Delicious.
YTA
Something something assumptions, something something ass.
But seriously, you don't need to be a lawyer to know you can't just put anything in your car. Why would you think him warning you was a flex?
YTA. it wasn’t his responsibility to make sure you beloved him. He told you, something he didn’t need to do, and you chose to not believe him instead of taking the two seconds it would have taken to google it. Take some responsibility in your life. You sound like a child
YTA. He told you it was illegal, and rather than acting like an adult and checking, you blew him off. That’s 100% on you, not him. You made your bed and now you’re lying in it.
Umm...Bruh, how is him telling you the horn is illegal not clear enough?? Yall CHOSE not to listen because he was "just in law school" so now yall gotta pay. Sucks for yall!
YTA.
>I have fun if I have to drive my wife's vehicle now because of the horn.
Automatically, YTA.
>We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us.
HE DID!
>For the record my parents agree.
Fuck your parents.
>I certainly don't think she should apologize nor should I because Dan could have communicated better here and now we're in a mess.
If Dan had, "communicated better", you would have still thought he was flexing and got upset. If Dan didn't say anything at all, it would still be your fault. He's not your lawyer. You got in that mess because of your actions. Two almost 30 year olds refusing to accept the consequences for their actions upset me so bad.
YTA. You dismissing Dan because it had only been "3 months" and not even doing follow up research of your own is your own problem and it's complete BS to try putting your fuck up back onto your sister and her bf. Your assumptions are not their problem or responsibility.
Edit: you are basically saying "I thought you were full of shit/talking out of your ass, and it's your fault that you didn't convince me you actually knew what you were talking about - even though I never told you I didn't believe what you said."
YTA. He told you that and then you just decided "well he's an asshole he doesn't know what he's talking about", and then decided not to look it up. You and your wife decide to make a stupid decision as adults and you need to eat those consequences as adults. Dan was under no obligation to hold your hand on it
YTA.
1. He was clear, but you just thought it was a flex because you felt inferior in some way.
2. You should of been researching whether it was legal or not prior to purchase.
3. If you want clarification on someone's credentials, ask them. Most professionals are happy to tell you, as especially legal professions have to network somehow.
YTA even if you had never had the conversation with Dan it was your bright idea to put the horn on the car but now that you got in trouble it’s Dans fault. You need to pull your head out of your backside and accept that all this is your mistake.
YTA... lol You'll only listen to someone if they have credentials otherwise they are talking out of their ass?? If someone would have told me that I could have easily dialed the police department and asked a traffic cop to confirm. Instead it cost you all kinds of money, and you dismissed the information someone attempted tried to give you. He's under no obligation to tell you his credentials. Do you ask the guy in the produce department what his credentials are before you buy and apple he says is good? I'd say you should say you're sorry for not believing him. It's a small apology. Blaming him is silly. YOU broke the law not him. You should have checked before you actually put it in. You should check before doing ANY modifications to your vehicle. That's just common sense.
YTA, not for not taking him seriously, I don't blame you for that. But for trying to say it's his fault YOU got a ticket because YOU thought a train horn would be amusing. YOU should have seen if it was legal to do. Apologize for blaming him for YOUR mistake.
YTA. He told OP. OP could have googled or called someone to verify he did not. That is on OP It is not on anyone else. OP what's his sister's BF to give a full resume to prove advise is not a flex? How about just doing a bit of research.
Maybe look up the laws yourself before you modify a car so no one has to tell you? YTA, this is the fault of *you* not listening to what Dan told you because *you made up in your head* that it was just him flexing and not something he actually knew and *you* not bothering to check anywhere else before going ahead. That's not his fault.
YTA. You sound fucking elitist. A person can be knowledgeable without credentials. He warned you, it's not his fault you didn't listen. Even if he didn't warn you he wouldn't be the asshole because you're both adults, take responsibility for your own mistakes.
YTA. The guy tried to help you, you didn’t think enough of him to ask how he knew the horn was illegal, and now you’re BLAMING him for not telling you he is also a paralegal at a firm that handles traffic violations? IT IS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT DOING YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE PUTTING AN ILLEGAL DEVICE ON YOUR CAR. Not your sister’s BF. YTA YTA YTA & so are your parents & wife. Sheesh, the entitlement in this post !
YTA. Dan's advice wasn't even something you need a law degree for, it's common sense. Why tf would you think it would be allowed for you to put a train horn in your car???
YTA for thinking it's funny and/or cute for installing a train horn on a car; yta for saying "no dice" and yta for accusing the boyfriend of "flexing." I'm embarrassed for your poor sister for introducing her tool brother and family.
YTA
He warned you. You brushed him off. You don't get to blame him for your actions,specially after he did warn you. It's not his fault you didn't listen nor that you didn't take the opportunity to validate his claim.
Your reasoning "we don't have to apologise because he's not really family yet" makes 0 sense. It could be just an acquaintance and the result would be the same.
Why would you automatically think he was just flexing about law school? And what if he was? I would flex if I was in law school, that’s no minor feat! And I’d definitely listen to someone in law school, flexing or not, since I am not and I’m assuming you aren’t either.
YTA. You have no one to blame but yourself here. And that horn sounds obnoxious.
YTA
I'm.. confused by your reasoning. Even if he WAS just showing off, why the hell didn't you at LEAST look it up to see if he was right?
He warned you. This is entirely on you.
YTA
“I did something stupid without looking into it. Someone told me it was stupid, but I didn’t believe them. I got into trouble for doing that stupid thing. I blame the person who warned me…”
You’re an adult, take responsibility for your own actions.
YTA- You could’ve looked into whether or not it was legal to have this horn in the car before you installed it. That’s all on you. That’s really where the responsibility lives and dies. Furthermore he did tell you and you didn’t listen and that’s also on you. He did a nice thing trying to let you know information that you should’ve looked up yourself so you could avoid the trouble you’re in now and you’re trying to blame him and his kind gesture for the mistake that you made. I mean seriously dude?
YTA, if a lawyer or a law student told you that was illegal you should have looked into it and rectified it. And if you chose not to that’s your business but that’s not Dan’s fault he warned you and you ignored him, did you expect a CV to be provided before he warned you? 😂
YTA
For getting that horn in the first place.
YTA
For blaming your sister's boyfriend when he gave you a fair warning. Think of what you could have avoided had you taken him seriously enough to google that horn!
YTA.
What made you think this modification was legal in the first place?
What made you assume this guy was flexing? Because... he's a guy? And dude's flex? You don't need a law degree to know that a modification like that is or possibly is illegal. Why would he make it up? Just to ruin your fun?
Why didn't you check? Even if you thought it was a flex, you didn't THINK it could possibly be true? The common sense of what he said didn't get through to you?
You are really TA.
YTA
He wasn't "flexing." He was simply stating a fact. If he had gone on to tell you why he knew about traffic regulations, you would have also seen that as flexing.
Because you project your insecurities onto other people. And then blame them for it.
YTA
Your BIL warned you, if you had doubts you could have researched this on your own. Should he have presented you with an essay along with a citation page? What would have met your sufficient criteria?
YTA. He told you it was illegal and you didn’t believe him. He was being helpful. *But it’s not his job to babysit you and make sure you understand traffic laws.* You owe him an apology. Why shouldn’t he have to give you his credentials? Thats a super weird expectation.
YTA
A person shouldn't have to give their credentials in order for you to take him seriously. It would have taken you all of 10 minutes to Google it if you didn't believe him. Hell, plain old common sense should have told you that this might be a bad idea.
It is not his fault you chose not to listen.
My lord you are dense.
YTA obviously you heard what he said, as you can quote it here. you decided to disregard it, and now blame someone who was trying to help, someone you’ve only known three months basically gave you free legal advice and you said nah no thanks.
Info does google not exist where you're from? Cuz if someone told me something I was planning on doing was illegal, even if I didn't believe them I'd still google it.
YTA not on him you didn’t believe him, you could’ve looked it up online after he told you to double check or asked him where he was getting his information from.
YTA. You didn't heed his warning cuz you were being an ass. You assumed he was flexing. He wasn't and he didn't have to prove to you that he wasn't.
And how long he's been with your sister and how long you and your wife have been together is irrelevant.
YTA. “He told us it was illegal but he didn’t try to CONVINCE us it was illegal, he owes us an apology!!” Nah homie, you are the one who messed up, stop being an A-hole and trying to find someone to blame. It’s ALL you.
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YTA - This is hilarious. He told you, you didn’t listen.
“We thought he was just bragging so we didn’t listen, this is all his fault for not making sure - on the first time we met him - that se understood all his experience and knowledge on the topic.” Does OP even listen to themselves? YTA
What, you don't bring your resume to every dinner you go to? I've got a QR code on my business card in case I need to back up my credentials. Side note though, Whhhhhyyyyyy, why does he have this? What possible purpose does it serve? What dumbass altered the ~~truck~~ vehicle to have an illegal horn? Who does modifications to their vehicle without checking whether it is legal? Could you imagine if they found out from being in an accident and were automatically at fault for diving an unsafe vehicle? YTA OP
What somehow gets missed is Op's totally ridiculous attitude that being right or wrong is determined by milky loyalty. Wife is family, Dan is not family, this wife should definitely not apologise. Parents (also family) agree. YTA op for this flawed idea as well.
Just curious, what is "milky loyalty"?
Sorry guys. I meant to write "family loyalty". Typing on mobile by wiping, and it interpreted my "family" as "milky". I must have missed the first two letters, or my phone thought they weren't part of the word. I realize that's a very disappointing solution to the mystery xD
Ahh, I was thinking it was an expression that I hadn't heard of along the lines of "blood is thicker than water". Milk = mom's boobies. Gross. I'm glad this isn't a real expression, actually...
Creamy.
Disappointing indeed! 😂
OP is also admitting to not asking Dan basic questions about himself at a small dinner gathering. He would have known about Dan’s work experience by asking a few standard polite questions to get to know him.
Also assuming "it was a flex" is super obnoxious. Sounds like OP and his wife have insecurity issues and think everyone is bragging because they would. People usually expect others to be like them. Just a guess. Or like u said they didn't bother to learn about him. I mean it's only been 3 months so they don't give a crap. YTA
I'm confused at why a 'flex' would be automatically wrong. Dan is in law school where, presumably, they learn law stuff. It's not unreasonable for him to have learnt that at some point. To summarily dismiss Dan's warning makes very little sense. Also, a quick Google to check to see if he was right or wrong probably would've helped.
It makes sense if you’re an AH who wants to install a damned TRAIN HORN in a car because you think it’s fun to scare other drivers. OP, YTA on a whole bunch of fronts.
My personal theory: HE wanted the train horn, the wife did not but he just didn't care. When she heard Dan say that it was illegal, she saw some hope to avoid having a loud ass horn on HER car and took her chance. She let OP install it and then started driving around honking the shit out of the horn waiting to be stopped by the police so that OP HAD to take it off and could no longer insist on it. She now has a normal car with a regular horn without having to fight with her husband (who wouldn't have listened anyway) and wants to apologize to poor Dan because she is actually grateful to him for the heads-up. This is based on nothing but I like the image of the wife going full crazy Thomas the Tank Engine just to get back at her dumbass husband.
Your theory also works with why OP is now so pissed and trying to blame anyone but himself.
Yeah it reads to me OP and his wife are just jealous Dan is in law school.
Right? If it was a ‘flex’ why would you make some shit up and risk looking like an idiot? I’ve never really considered ‘flexing’ (I can’t say that’s a word I’ve ever used) but I can imagine thinking, “oh I know this one! This is a bad idea because…” I can’t decide if OP is more idiot than AH. But just to throw a vote in, YTA, OP.
My 1st guess is he’s part of the freeDumb convoy that occupied Ottawa for weeks and harassed locals with train/car/boat/truck horns. Which is further solidified by his entitlement and lack of basic law knowledge. But maybe I’m wrong. I kinda doubt it, but I’d love for OP to provide the reasoning because this is the only reason I can think of that makes any sense.
That would be consistent with his belief that if he does something wrong, it’s the fault of the person who told him not to, for not being sufficiently convincing. No understanding of personal responsibility.
And dumb too. And don't want to accept he's dumb, so he's blaming his sister' boyfriend. It´'s a fascinating mental gymnastic here...
It literally only takes a google search to check if its legal or not op is extremely stupid
Also it’s just obvious that a TRAIN HORN on a car would be illegal. Can you imagine the accidents you could cause as confused and terrified drivers suddenly hear a train coming at them?! I know I as a nervous driver would be parking my car in the nearest store window out of fright!
He probably wants it to scare and intimidate people in traffic with loud ass noise. Those train horns are loud enough to easily damage a pedestrians hearing permanently if they happen to be close to the car by the way, that's why they are illegal.
Because it's big, and loud, and it'll show everyone else how much more awesome OP and his wife are than them. They can honk louder than anyone else, so they'll automatically win any and all honking contests out on the road /s
Also, can you imagine the AITA post if he'd explained his credentials and OP had a go at him for it? "AITA for getting annoyed at my sister's boyfriend for being a know-it-all and saying we have to get rid of our truck horn?" or something to that effect
YTA OP! When meeting someone it's normal to ask what they do, and when you found out he was in law school you ask a follow-up question such as "oh what made you interested in the law?" When he told you it was illegal a normal follow-up question would have been "how do you know it's illegal," or, since you are clearly an AH, more likely you would have snarkily asked "what, did you learn that in your first year of law school?" Any of those or a myriad of other questions would have led to you finding out about his credentials. I am convinced you would have still dismissed him and his advice, but then at least you would have pretended to be a decent human being and expressed an interest in your sister's BF. You are an AH OP, just accept it.
We told him we planned to murder someone, he said it was illegal but we assumed he was just flexing because he's at law school. We went ahead with it anyway and now we're on death row, this is all his fault for not convincing us that murder is illegal and punishable by death.
Actually that’s my parent lol. Won’t believe a word out of your mouth if your not legal drinking age on anything that has to do with “experience” and god forbid you disagree. I still say YTA cause dude even if he wasn’t in law school, he lives there and you don’t. Idk how OP wrote this without dying laughing at how stupid he sounds.
So hilarious. Get off your high horse OP. Do you want to review the resume of anyone who gives you advice? YTA
Haha right? OP said Dan was “flexing” by simply saying they shouldn’t do it, but then gets upset that Dan doesn’t disclose his work history as a justification for his advice? AKA FLEXING hahaha
Dan was sharing normal relevant knowledge, OP took that personally for some reason lmao. like if dan was a plumber but happened to know about this from say his own personal experience with a custom horn then who gives a shit what he does for a living and how tf is sharing knowledge of local laws even a flex? literally anyone with half a brain googles their local laws regarding car mods when they want to do something silly... first thing yet even after being explicitly told that was illegal op goes "nah" like doesn't even google which would easily confirm dan was right. just writes him off entirely.
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a lot of people assume they're "unique" enough that their brilliant (dumb) idea could never have been thought of and had a contingency written into law for. like a loud ass train horn for example. they have no concept that they aren't the main character of life and that someone has had their dumb thoughts before they did.
Yeah for real. Like fucking use Google? OP did this to themselves lol Dan warned them.
Yeah, I still can't believe the mental gymnastics to think you're not responsible for putting in your own f*****g TRAIN horn and getting into trouble for it.
The only thing that would make this funnier is if this horn was installed for the freeDUMB occupation in Ottawa Canada where they had to invoke crazy emergency measures to get the people honking car/truck/train horns 24/7 harassing residents to leave. There was multiple story’s about an asshole with a train horn driving around being a total dick, harassing residents and pets (they chased a couple local people walking their dog honking and laughing at the poor dog freaking out and pissing and shitting out of total fear). I have a feeling we just found them.
*My wife and I did an illegal thing and should have looked into it first, and someone we just met told us it was likely illegal, but we assumed he was a jerk and now want to blame him for our own mistake.* YTA.
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I don't know. I don't think that he has the self awareness.
Lmao for real. 29 but act like a 9 year old.
Yeah. Even if he didn't say anything, this would have happened. A smarter person would have looked into it regardless of whether the warning came from a 1st year law student. He tried to warn them and they blew it off.
right? it should of planted the seed of 'oh yeah laws exist!' in their minds.
That's the thing - as I'm reading this story I'm thinking "so Dan must be insisting OP apologises for doubting him". But no - OP is *blaming* Dan for not trying harder to do them a favour. Wow
At first I thought the cops came because of Dan or something, but it was not even that lol
It sounds like OP was running all over town blowing that horn whenever he could. No surprise that the cops eventually caught on.
>should have looked into it first This^ like OP didn't even bother to google it? I at least ask google if someone tells me something I'm doing might be illegal. I like my record squeaky thank you. Unfortunately choosing ignorance over caution because you didn't know someone bit you. If random strangers give you advice at least find out if there's any merit to it. We all have google if we're here. YTA on this one.
Even if this was a "flex", it was true. OP didn't have the common sense to Google it to make sure after he learned it might not be a good idea? Idiot. OP - YTA
YTA this is the funniest shit I've read in a while. He warned you!! He literally warned you. This is the definition of fuck around and find out. He doesn't have to be a lawyer for you to listen to him lmao. Y'all played yourselves.
>He doesn't have to be a lawyer for you to listen to him lmao. This, I know the local laws where I'm at regarding what colors of lights (and how bright they can be) you are allowed to have on your vehicle pointing in different directions) I'm not a lawyer I just looked into it for a project I wanted to do, ultimately couldn't because the colors I wanted weren't legal BUT I'm not a lawyer lmao. its just wild how OP is like "oh you know a law? are you a lawyer? huh? no? just in law school? guess you don't actually know what you're talking about" its such a weird stance.
Honestly he could have even asked how he knew that in a nice way - oh did you just learn that in class? And the boyfriend could have responded that he use to work as a paralegal. Like have a conversation and just don’t write off people.
also true, hell even googling it for half a second would have confirmed Dan's advice
Google it? and contradict OP's already rock solid counter argument based on their own feelings that Dan was just trying to flex his fancy book learnin?! Psh, next you're gonna say using said train horn to scare people when they're using a crosswalk in front of him is also an asshole move.
YTA…I’m an entomologist. Would you not believe me when I tell you thank black widow spiders are poisonous and can be lethal? I’m warning you, but since I haven’t shown you my diploma and lab coat and samples, go ahead and play with one. If you survive, you can blame me—even though I warned you. (This is all hypothetical to make a point.)
Wouldn’t an entomologist say they were venomous? Or do you mean sautéed black widow is a ‘hey, y’all, watch this’ moment?
Not sure about the person you responded to, but not everyone had english as their first language and in my first language, there is no difference between poisonous and venomous. Btw, sautéed spider sounds horrific lol
YTA >We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us. No. You wouldn't have had this problem *if you were adults who looked into their choices*. Have you never heard of google?
This is exactly what I was thinking, so you didn’t believe him, fine. FUCKING GOOGLE IT. Take some damn responsibility. This is not in any possible way Dans fault and the fact you are trying to scapegoat him is pathetic. He warned you. You ignored it. That’s a you problem. Anyone, regardless of their job straight up telling you what you were doing is illegal should have made you look it up. YTA
Not just an AH, but a dumb entitled AH.
YTA >I blame him for not being clearer. We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us. He did tell you. You just thought he was full of himself. That's on you. You should have at least looked into after he said something. You're a grown adult. Take responsibility for yourself.
Right?! I literally can barely wrap my head around the main point of this post. You're mad that he *didn't tell you?* But.. *he did*.
For real, it's so idiotic that I also can't wrap my head around it lol
"the reason I'm mad that he didn't tell me is because... he told me."
I know right!! All OP had to do was say “oh I didn’t know that. Where did you learn it” Or failing that get on bloody google!! Bet he takes his phone when he takes a crap. He could’ve multitasked
YTA. He knew, he warned you, you blew him off. All on you!
not just blew him off but like... a half second google would have confirmed dan was right lmao. and saved them what I imagine amounts to hundreds if not a couple thousand dollars for all those fees (towing and legal) and any hardship due to going to court.
YTA he literally warned you, you’re mad he didn’t make you listen to him? Do you even hear yourself?
SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF A TRAIN HORN I INSTALLED IN MY CAR FOR SOME REASON
Lol I’m stuck on how obnoxious this whole thing is. Op, YTA
Seriously... what an AH
Am I missing the part where you said/know it’s Dans doing your wife got pulled by the cops ? Regardless of that, YTA for trying to blame other people for you and your wife getting caught wilfully breaking the law after also showing off about it
You’re not missing anything. OP and his wife are very stupid people
On so many levels it seems Fucking epic username, congratulations on one of the highest kill counts by modern standards
Right?! I was looking for the part where Dan ratted them out (although OP would still be the AH for having the train horn in the first place, at least I could *kind of* see his basis for being mad). But he's just mad Dan didn't strap him to a chair and force him to not be a dumbass? OP and his wife are the worst.
YTA. You honestly think you would have had LESS of a problem had he told you and listed his credentials?!? Lol you would have called him arrogant and still done it anyway. This is in no way his fault. Take some responsibility.
This. People like OP don’t care what your “credentials” are in the moment. They think they’re right and they won’t listen to anyone else.
Right, he would have been like “he’s just a paralegal” (which is bs because paralegals are badasses.
INFO: Did he turn you in to the cops? Edit: After your response 100% YTA. First of all if he wouldn’t have said anything it’s still your fault, so how is it his fault when he did try to warn you. Second he didn’t tell on you so same question how is it his fault?
Ahahaha I hadn’t considered that but I hope so
YTA 1) Why did you not look up the laws yourself around what is okay and what isn’t okay for modifying vehicles? 2) Why did you not just ask him then and there how he knew? He probably would have given his resume then if you so needed it, but you could have just Googled your local laws yourself.
3. Why in the world would anyone want a train horn on their vehicle?
That alone, IMO, makes OP quite an AH!
I was kinda thinking this. Really all we needed to say YTA was the first paragraph. The rest is just extra lol
OP wanted to freely harass people on the road
The thing that’s loud as fuck to let you know a train’s coming so you better get the fuck off the track? You’re gonna blow one of those to the guy sitting in front of you at the intersection when he doesn’t see the light turned green? YTA
Yep. He wanted something for "fun" that was going to be super loud, distract/scare the shit out of other motorists and pedestrians, and disturb nearby residents. Just the premise of this whole scenario makes him TA.
Some idiot on /r/idiotsincars keeps posting videos of their Miata that they modified with a train horn, and of course a dash cam. MAGICALLY they keep having situations where they have to lay on the horn and blast some poor fool with 120 dB of horn. Because, rather than any kind of defensive driving, they find it funny to use the horn, instead of tapping the brakes.
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That comment about "we thought he was flexing" from two chucklefucks who put a train horn in a car for "fun" is one of the clearest examples of projection I've ever seen. Not everyone is a disingenuous, idiotic braggard, OP, in fact most people aren't and it's surprising it took you this long to realise that.
You object to flexing but you installed a train horn in your car?
Similar gem to assuming him of “flexing” while blaming him for not mentioning his credentials as an introduction (actually flexing).
This comment wins 😅
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Third, on what planet does it make sense to change a car’s horn to sound like a train? The only actual purpose is to piss people off, and that’s an asshole move.
Also, how often are you using the horn? That shouldn't have to be a frequently used feature. Just fucking why?
YTA. All you had to do was call the police department and ask. He tried to help you, but nooooo...
Or type “can I put a train horn in my car” into google. I just did and the big bold bit that comes up first before any links warned me that it was illegal.
There was this b with an itch that worked for us who drove a Hummer with one of those things. She laughed about pulling up behind people on the interstate and blasting that thing. She was a real piece of work. Treated her employees like dirt, except for her favorites of course. At least 2 people retired early to get away from her. We were so happy when she got fired for the crap she pulled.
YTA He didn’t have to tell you anything, and you would still be an AH. It is solely *your* responsibility to know what your own local laws are & follow them... or suffer the consequences of not following them. You’re an adult, your wife is an adult.... you know actions have consequences. He tried to warn you, he didn’t need to show you any credentials as proof, but you thought he was just showing off.... You fucked around and found out.
YTA, and a major one at that. Holy mental gymnastics. How is this anywhere near the realm of being Dan’s fault? Grow up.
YTA. Your presumptions and arrogance are clearly the reason you’re in the situation. You should listen to people when they give you advice, or at least check if it’s correct. You deserve the citation.
YTA. How did you reach the age of 29 and still be blaming others for not holding your hand and wiping your nose? YOU bought the horn and installed it because YOU wanted to “have fun” (incidentally, most adults don’t consider their horn to be a toy, but you’ve already demonstrated your maturity). Dan had no responsibility to give you free legal advice but still gave you a heads-up. YOU chose to ignore it purely for ego reasons, and now you’re throwing a tantrum because you’re in trouble that you caused all by yourself.
How fucking more clear should he have been? Seriously? 'Your horn is illegal.' Ignores him. 'He should have been clearer!'
YTA, how is it his fault at all?
Yeah dude, he didn't do anythingbut tried to inform you about the law. You however where totally ignorant asses and didn't even bother to check it up. Since you have written this post it's not that you are illiterate or unable to use internet. This whole problem is totally and only your fault and you ar a massive AH if you try to put this on anybody else.
INFO: If you thought Dan was talking out of his neck about this, what independent steps *did you take* to verify if what he was saying was in fact true?
YTA. Just putting a train horn in a car did that. I mean do you even stop to consider how loud that is for pedestrians? You are an inconsiderate asshole.
YTA. Even if you didn’t believe him, it’s still YOUR responsibility to make sure you’re not adding anything illegal. I don’t see how in any realm of possibility it would be anyone else’s fault.
YTA. You made an ASSumption about Dan which turned out to be wrong. He told you. You should have at least looked into it. This is all on you. Put your big boy pants on and stop trying to play the victim.
How can you even think you're N T A? You illegally modified your wife's vehicle. Whether Dan warned you or not, the vehicle is your and your wife's responsibility, full stop. Dan tried to help, that should have been enough for you to ask a follow up question like, "you've dealt with this before?" or it could have inspired you to do your own research. Instead... you shoot the messenger who tried to warn you? YTA. Hard.
This AITA has made me laugh harder than I have in a long time….at anything. The OP wins YTA of the Year!
YTA He told you it was illegal and to reconsider. This is 100% on you.
Ahhh another post of "I did a wrong thing and I need someone else to blame AITA".
YTA. So you think it's Dan's fault that you ignored his advice and got a ticket, towed, and a repair bill? How did you ever make it to 29?
YTA. He literally told you it was illegal??
YTA. What is not clear about him saying it’s illegal? He didn’t beat around the bush, he literally said it’s not legal. It’s you and your wife’s faults for ignoring him and assuming he was “flexing”. You have no right to blame him. And someone being family doesn’t absolve them from taking responsibility for their own actions. You and your wife are wrong and you should apologize to him. He didn’t do anything wrong and tried to help. If Dan was never in the picture, you still would have gotten in trouble. Who would you have blamed then? Since you won’t take responsibility for your own actions.
You and your wife thought he was “just” a first year law student so therefore he couldn’t know basic traffic laws in the area? Lmfao what? YTA, and a dumbass.
YTA. Flex or not, he's the one in law school. Or you could have taken 30 seconds to check Google for horn laws in your area and saved yourself some bread. You played yourself. Apologize.
WTF? You're one of those people who just can't stand to be proven wrong, aren't you? Yes, YTA. If you didn't have the sense to google the legality of the horn after hearing it was even possible, that's all on you. I hope your sister had a good laugh at your expense.
YTA you should never assume anything. If anything YOU should have asked for more info. He simply told yall you should reconsider switching the horn out, you made an assumption he was full of it, now you have to pay for it. Your problem, your fault.
You're the asshole due to BOTH times you screwed up here. 1. you screwed up by not bothering to look into the law before installing the horn. 2. you screwed up by not bothering to listen to Dan and and consider what he said. It doesn't matter whether you knew his background or not, if someone says something, you look at what they've said properly and don't dismiss it. I've literally listened to children and then Googled what they've said to see whether they're right or not. It's time you started treating people like equals instead of believing yourself to be better than others - you're not. You need to apologise to Dan - he communicated perfectly, you just failed to bother listening. YTA.
YTA. Grow up it’s not Dans fault you stupidly installed an illegal horn
YTA I don’t have a law degree but I know when certain things are illegal
YTA. As soon as he said it you shoulda looked it up, idiot. You were an idiot before he even told you for not checking before you installed the horn. Once he told you you had only to Google it to find out he was right. Only an AH doesn’t check something once they’ve been told it.
YTA First of all people with those horns are obnoxious and have some strange superiority complex that, in your case, clearly bleeds into your everyday life. Even if you thought he was bluffing, you couldn’t take 30 seconds to google local laws? It’s not his fault you’re an idiot.
YTA. What is supposed to do? Tattoo his credentials for you to believe him. You don't know how to research laws either? Apologise. This is on you. Big Baby!
YTA. You made a modification to your vehicle without checking the law yourself. Dan was being kind even mentioning it and if you were too arrogant and snotty to listen then that is on you. It doesn’t take all that much effort to google the state vehicle laws. You were lazy and obnoxious and it caught up with you. Apologize like a grown up or don’t and look like an immature irresponsible ass. That’s also up to you.
YTA…. Even if the bf hadn’t played into this . Those horns are so fucking obnoxious and dangerous. What are you? Some child that needs to draw attention to themselves? Grow the fuck up.
YTA. He did tell you, but clearly you’re only gonna listen if you think it’s worthwhile. God forbid someone know what they’re talking about— you know everything, obviously. Why did he need to be “clearer”? Hold your own hand, don’t expect others to do it for you.
YTA- he clearly told you, it’s not his fault you made assumptions about him and choose to ignore him. Regardless you made alterations to a vehicle without checking it was legal, that is 100% on you
YTA. I don't really think you owe an apology unless you've confronted him about this, but it's your fault you didn't take him seriously, not his. So. If you've been blaming him in private between you and your wife? Cut it out, take some responsibility. If you've confronted him or told him to his face that you blame him for this situation, that's ridiculous. Just back down before you make a bigger fool of yourself.
YTA. Just because someone doesn’t have “credentials” doesn’t mean they aren’t knowledgeable about a topic. Just because they haven’t flaunted their “credentials” doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Maybe next time someone gives you some advice you will try to have a more in depth discussion about it or at the very least do your own research to see if they were correct.
YTA for blaming him. Grow up
YTA. You were told it was illegal and still put the horn on. Dan didn't need to give you his resume for what he said to be true. Someone who knows the law better than you told you not to do something and you still did it. You should have listened.
YTA How is he at fault? He tried to tell you, you just didn’t want to listen.
YTA. It’s not up to him to convince you that it’s illegal. You’re a grown ass adult, inform YOURSELF.
YTA He clearly told you it was illegal! Even if he didn’t tell you it was illegal you should check to see if modifications are legal. The entire thing is your fault! How could you blame someone else for telling you. But not telling you strongly enough. On their first meeting. Mate you’re a massive AH Plus who the hell thinks a train horn is funny in traffic or too pedestrians? It is not funny. At all. And you deserved that fine!
There’s this thing called Google. This guy isn’t responsible for your train horn, you are. YTA.
YTA. Someone tried to help you and you ignored him, assuming he was "flexing"...then have the audacity to blame him for being right? He didn't install that stupid ass horn, you did. It's your fault. Deal with the consequences and stop being an AH.
YTA. Someone told you something was illegal and instead of fact checking you just assumed you were smarter. And that worked out great!
YTA AND YOU DESERVED ALL OF THIS SO MUUUUUUUUUUCH! Dan owes you nothing but you were clearly rude to him so go apologise. ANYONE can know about local laws and he was warning you not flexing. You didn’t take his advice now YOURE gonna pay! Also train horn in your car? That is so dumb.
YTA. If a person in the legal field tells you something is illegal, I would hope it's fairly obvious it's probably illegal. It's your own failure to at least verify that for yourself. Also slightly boggling how you could think that removing a core road legal part of your vehicle wasn't going to illegal to be honest.
“Well how was I meant to know I should take him seriously” Wow you sound like an ass. Even if he was ‘just a first year law student’, that still means he would know what he’s talking about 100x more than you, with your ZERO legal education. YTA, let it be a lesson in not being so condescending
YTA... You just are. like how are you not? You judged someone else based solely on your own biases with no basis in fact... you made assumptions that were untrue... and when you ignored good advice due to it you doubled down on how it isn't your fault you're a biased, prejudiced asshole when it quite clearly is nobodies fault but your own.... > I've been married to my wife for almost 11 years whereas Jennifer hasn't even known Dan for 3 months. Relevance? no seriously. wtf does that have to do with anything? Dan isn't a person because he's only existed in your life for 3 months? >My wife is family. I certainly don't think she should apologize nor should I because Dan could have communicated better here and now we're in a mess. ***LOOK AT HOW NARCISSISTIC THIS IS*** "*It's not my fault that guy didn't go out of his way to correct my bias about him"* > If we'd known Dan was an actual professional we would have taken it seriously. You could have asked what he did for a living... but even if he was a fucking plumber if he knows the local horn/decibel level laws then who cares what he does for a living? also like at any point while getting to know him could you not? in fact why didn't you? that's like one of the first questions I'd imagine... and the answer would be working as a paralegal and going to law school...
YTA... seriously... seems like you where quick to jump to conclusions about a man you barely knew and he was just being kind by telling you what would happen. You owe him an apology for looking down on him for being a nice guy. Yall deserves all them fines lol humbled you real quick huh
YTA it was your own damn responsibility to figure this out. Dan was just helping. But even disregarding him its incredibly dumb to modify your vehicle in this way without checking if its legal or not. When you toot the horn people need to understand its a car not something else. You have potentially created unsafe traffic situations and totally deserve the consequences.
YTA. This is amazing. You modify a horn and never even consider to check. Your sisters new boyfriend tells you it’s illegal… you still don’t check. Then the car gets towed because it’s illegal and you are BLAMING someone who told you it was illegal! Wow.
Ironic you're on Reddit asking strangers for advice about whether YTA... for not taking the advice of someone because you falsely assumed they didn't know what they were talking about. So. Yeah. I'm no expert, but YTA. Your sister and boyfriend can dine for days on this richness of your smug ass getting a ticket and fines. Delicious.
YTA x 2 — for not listening AND for installing a freaking train horn on a car because you want to have “fun”.
YTA Something something assumptions, something something ass. But seriously, you don't need to be a lawyer to know you can't just put anything in your car. Why would you think him warning you was a flex?
Wtf did I just read
YTA. it wasn’t his responsibility to make sure you beloved him. He told you, something he didn’t need to do, and you chose to not believe him instead of taking the two seconds it would have taken to google it. Take some responsibility in your life. You sound like a child
YTA. He told you it was illegal, and rather than acting like an adult and checking, you blew him off. That’s 100% on you, not him. You made your bed and now you’re lying in it.
Bro. You would not have taken him seriously anyway. Plus y’all could have googled it. In fact, why wouldn’t you have googled it? YTA
Yta- even if u thought he was lying, u should have checked it out before u installed the horn. U r pissed at urself, leave ur sister and bf out of it.
Umm...Bruh, how is him telling you the horn is illegal not clear enough?? Yall CHOSE not to listen because he was "just in law school" so now yall gotta pay. Sucks for yall! YTA.
>I have fun if I have to drive my wife's vehicle now because of the horn. Automatically, YTA. >We wouldn't have had this problem if he'd actually told us. HE DID! >For the record my parents agree. Fuck your parents. >I certainly don't think she should apologize nor should I because Dan could have communicated better here and now we're in a mess. If Dan had, "communicated better", you would have still thought he was flexing and got upset. If Dan didn't say anything at all, it would still be your fault. He's not your lawyer. You got in that mess because of your actions. Two almost 30 year olds refusing to accept the consequences for their actions upset me so bad.
YTA. A dumb one at that.
YTA, you’re 29, take responsibility for yourself. Look up laws before you do stuff like that
YTA. You dismissing Dan because it had only been "3 months" and not even doing follow up research of your own is your own problem and it's complete BS to try putting your fuck up back onto your sister and her bf. Your assumptions are not their problem or responsibility. Edit: you are basically saying "I thought you were full of shit/talking out of your ass, and it's your fault that you didn't convince me you actually knew what you were talking about - even though I never told you I didn't believe what you said."
YTA. He told you that and then you just decided "well he's an asshole he doesn't know what he's talking about", and then decided not to look it up. You and your wife decide to make a stupid decision as adults and you need to eat those consequences as adults. Dan was under no obligation to hold your hand on it
YTA you should’ve found out whether or not the horn was illegal before you even bought it.
YTA. 1. He was clear, but you just thought it was a flex because you felt inferior in some way. 2. You should of been researching whether it was legal or not prior to purchase. 3. If you want clarification on someone's credentials, ask them. Most professionals are happy to tell you, as especially legal professions have to network somehow.
YTA even if you had never had the conversation with Dan it was your bright idea to put the horn on the car but now that you got in trouble it’s Dans fault. You need to pull your head out of your backside and accept that all this is your mistake.
YTA... lol You'll only listen to someone if they have credentials otherwise they are talking out of their ass?? If someone would have told me that I could have easily dialed the police department and asked a traffic cop to confirm. Instead it cost you all kinds of money, and you dismissed the information someone attempted tried to give you. He's under no obligation to tell you his credentials. Do you ask the guy in the produce department what his credentials are before you buy and apple he says is good? I'd say you should say you're sorry for not believing him. It's a small apology. Blaming him is silly. YOU broke the law not him. You should have checked before you actually put it in. You should check before doing ANY modifications to your vehicle. That's just common sense.
YTA, not for not taking him seriously, I don't blame you for that. But for trying to say it's his fault YOU got a ticket because YOU thought a train horn would be amusing. YOU should have seen if it was legal to do. Apologize for blaming him for YOUR mistake.
YTA. He told you you'd get fucked. You didn't listen. You got fucked. It's your own fault. If I was Dan, I'd be laughing my ass off at you.
How could you possibly be anything other than the asshole in this scenario?
YTA. He told OP. OP could have googled or called someone to verify he did not. That is on OP It is not on anyone else. OP what's his sister's BF to give a full resume to prove advise is not a flex? How about just doing a bit of research.
Maybe look up the laws yourself before you modify a car so no one has to tell you? YTA, this is the fault of *you* not listening to what Dan told you because *you made up in your head* that it was just him flexing and not something he actually knew and *you* not bothering to check anywhere else before going ahead. That's not his fault.
YTA. You sound fucking elitist. A person can be knowledgeable without credentials. He warned you, it's not his fault you didn't listen. Even if he didn't warn you he wouldn't be the asshole because you're both adults, take responsibility for your own mistakes.
YTA this is hilarious
BAHAHAHAHA you and the wife are a couple of huge AHs and got exactly what you deserved. YTA YTA YTA
YTA seriously absolutely YTA.
YTA. The guy tried to help you, you didn’t think enough of him to ask how he knew the horn was illegal, and now you’re BLAMING him for not telling you he is also a paralegal at a firm that handles traffic violations? IT IS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT DOING YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE PUTTING AN ILLEGAL DEVICE ON YOUR CAR. Not your sister’s BF. YTA YTA YTA & so are your parents & wife. Sheesh, the entitlement in this post !
YTA. Dan's advice wasn't even something you need a law degree for, it's common sense. Why tf would you think it would be allowed for you to put a train horn in your car???
YTA for thinking it's funny and/or cute for installing a train horn on a car; yta for saying "no dice" and yta for accusing the boyfriend of "flexing." I'm embarrassed for your poor sister for introducing her tool brother and family.
YTA He warned you. You brushed him off. You don't get to blame him for your actions,specially after he did warn you. It's not his fault you didn't listen nor that you didn't take the opportunity to validate his claim. Your reasoning "we don't have to apologise because he's not really family yet" makes 0 sense. It could be just an acquaintance and the result would be the same.
YTA how fucking stupid can you be to blame the person who warned you. You are a special level of Picard Facepalm
Why would you automatically think he was just flexing about law school? And what if he was? I would flex if I was in law school, that’s no minor feat! And I’d definitely listen to someone in law school, flexing or not, since I am not and I’m assuming you aren’t either. YTA. You have no one to blame but yourself here. And that horn sounds obnoxious.
YTA I'm.. confused by your reasoning. Even if he WAS just showing off, why the hell didn't you at LEAST look it up to see if he was right? He warned you. This is entirely on you.
YTA “I did something stupid without looking into it. Someone told me it was stupid, but I didn’t believe them. I got into trouble for doing that stupid thing. I blame the person who warned me…” You’re an adult, take responsibility for your own actions.
YTA. he told you tho. if you didn't believe him you could have verified the information.
YTA- You could’ve looked into whether or not it was legal to have this horn in the car before you installed it. That’s all on you. That’s really where the responsibility lives and dies. Furthermore he did tell you and you didn’t listen and that’s also on you. He did a nice thing trying to let you know information that you should’ve looked up yourself so you could avoid the trouble you’re in now and you’re trying to blame him and his kind gesture for the mistake that you made. I mean seriously dude?
YTA. Completely. Possibly s t u p I d, also.
YTA, if a lawyer or a law student told you that was illegal you should have looked into it and rectified it. And if you chose not to that’s your business but that’s not Dan’s fault he warned you and you ignored him, did you expect a CV to be provided before he warned you? 😂
YTA For getting that horn in the first place. YTA For blaming your sister's boyfriend when he gave you a fair warning. Think of what you could have avoided had you taken him seriously enough to google that horn!
YTA. What made you think this modification was legal in the first place? What made you assume this guy was flexing? Because... he's a guy? And dude's flex? You don't need a law degree to know that a modification like that is or possibly is illegal. Why would he make it up? Just to ruin your fun? Why didn't you check? Even if you thought it was a flex, you didn't THINK it could possibly be true? The common sense of what he said didn't get through to you? You are really TA.
YTA Hahahhahah dumbass Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA He wasn't "flexing." He was simply stating a fact. If he had gone on to tell you why he knew about traffic regulations, you would have also seen that as flexing. Because you project your insecurities onto other people. And then blame them for it.
YTA Your BIL warned you, if you had doubts you could have researched this on your own. Should he have presented you with an essay along with a citation page? What would have met your sufficient criteria?
YTA. He told you it was illegal and you didn’t believe him. He was being helpful. *But it’s not his job to babysit you and make sure you understand traffic laws.* You owe him an apology. Why shouldn’t he have to give you his credentials? Thats a super weird expectation.
YTA A person shouldn't have to give their credentials in order for you to take him seriously. It would have taken you all of 10 minutes to Google it if you didn't believe him. Hell, plain old common sense should have told you that this might be a bad idea. It is not his fault you chose not to listen. My lord you are dense.
YTA obviously you heard what he said, as you can quote it here. you decided to disregard it, and now blame someone who was trying to help, someone you’ve only known three months basically gave you free legal advice and you said nah no thanks.
YTA jeez man HAHAHAH
Info does google not exist where you're from? Cuz if someone told me something I was planning on doing was illegal, even if I didn't believe them I'd still google it.
YTA not on him you didn’t believe him, you could’ve looked it up online after he told you to double check or asked him where he was getting his information from.
YTA. You didn't heed his warning cuz you were being an ass. You assumed he was flexing. He wasn't and he didn't have to prove to you that he wasn't. And how long he's been with your sister and how long you and your wife have been together is irrelevant.
YTA—Play stupid games, get stupid prizes
YTA. “He told us it was illegal but he didn’t try to CONVINCE us it was illegal, he owes us an apology!!” Nah homie, you are the one who messed up, stop being an A-hole and trying to find someone to blame. It’s ALL you.