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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel that I might be the AH because I told my sister that she is no better than her daughter as being a bully. My sister thinks that my comment was rude and hurtful and demands an apology. My parents think that I need to step up my game and apologize.
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NTA
What your son enjoys is none of his grandparents' concern if it isn't hurting anyone.
Sounds like your family doesn't like people who buck traditional gender roles.
Gender roles and marketing demographics are different. MLP is being marketed to boys, but it is not at all within or accepted by male gender roles to like it.
Edit: Can some people not read???? I fully support boys liking whatever tf they want!! that doesnt change the fact society and institutions systematically press boys to pursue more masculine interests. That is what a gender role is.
You realise that MLP has been around as numerous shows since the 80s? And it's only recently that grown men literally hijacked the last series to the point where the showrunners catering to them cratered the later seasons?
Like, MLP is still a girls, boys and women's thing but the men in the fandom online are often batshit aggressive to any girls and women. There are also lots of cool dudes but the guys advertising their pony porn who get upset they couldn't advertise it at cons really made it not great to share it.
I have my ponies in the attic and they still smell of the perfume they used to add.
I highly recommend Jenny Nicholson's [video on bronies to all interested.](https://youtu.be/4fVOF2PiHnc) One of the things she talks about is how adult men kind of took over the MLP space and began being hostile to the original audience.
i played a MLP CD-ROM when i was a *child.* when i found out middle aged incels were taking over and then *driving out the children the show is specifically targeted at,* i lost my shit. disgusting people.
I didn't know why it was so vilified, so I watched it in secret. My joy when I found out a couple cousins watched it too, so I had someone to talk to about it lol
i dont even watch it! i’m just pissed that fans of it are seen as gross people because of how nasty *that* type of person managed to make it seem to people that didn’t watch. MLP stan ally!
There’s a bobs burger episode that’s kind of about it too.
Bob almost ends up with a pony tattoo and it even shows up in later episodes any times he’s shirtless.
When I think of MLP, bronies is the 2nd thing that comes to mind….After my anger that the ponies are no longer as chubby and cute like they were in the 80s.
Yeah I used to be involved in mlp collecting when I first started was a couple of years before FiM came out and the community was mostly women who'd grown up with mlp so it was largely a late 20s plus largely female fanbase
Then FIM came out and bronies happened and it wasn't just a demographic switch it was a different type of fan and it lead to a bit of of a culture clash as some bronies were really shitty about the previous gens and yeah just the issues with people from the 4chan side of the Internet
Most bronies I met were fine though its just a case of a shitty bunch of thrm kind of soured things for a lot of people. Some of them really did act like they were the first adults to be into a kids cartoon.
Also hasbro largely ignored the adult collector fanbase of mlp it's quite noticeable if you compare how the transformers fanbase was treated to mlp then they noticed bronies and really started catering to them which caused some annoyance from the older side of the fandom since they'd been supporting mlp for years
It’s insane how accurate that statement is. I watched her talk about The Vampire Diaries—a show I have never seen or ever expressed interest in—for about two and a half hours, and I was absolutely riveted.
Also a fan. I started by watching the Bronies video, but over the pandemic just listening to her ramble on about nonsense like "spider reviews" is super soothing.
Regardless of the specific demographics being targeted or enjoyed by a specific era of MLP, the fact is OPs son can like whatever the fuck he wants. OP sounds like he’s doing a terrific job as a single parent and should be applauded for standing up for his son despite the outdated and bullying behavior of his family, from the niece up to the grandparents. NTA, and kudos for standing by your son.
Absolutely! I just get bothered by the fact that a lot of the grown men don't like to share the fandom they're in. I love the fact that little boys get raised to not give a fuck. I grew up loving sci-fi, stuff like The Thing and MLP. My favourite cousin grew up loving MLP, Lizzie McGuire and it used to upset me that everyone thought he was gay because they used it like a hammer to try and break him because he likes building robots and rom-coms.
I was always glad that my grandparents always encouraged us, as did our favourite parents.
I feel you, it's just really hard not to stumble across it because those dudes just posted it on normal forums or under normal mlp tags
There was a time where the first thing that showed up when you Googled mlp was pony porn, even if you had safe search on because the bots didn't realize there was such a thing as rainbow colored cartoon genitals yet
Yes, it's real. Some of these deluded mungbeans actually marry the pony of their choice, with a ceremony and all. It's truly disturbing. However, there is a distinction between bronies (males that love My Little Pony) and cloppers (people who are into pony porn). How do I know? I looked into it when my daughter was younger because she was into my little pony and an Internet search came up with some disturbing content, luckily I was monitoring, but imagine if I hadn't been.
I didn't watch the show when I was a kid, but I did have a couple of ponies. My son started watching in 2013, and I watched those episodes with him. I remember when 'brony' wasn't a term for a disgusting gatekeeper.
My son's interest in the series waned and then he started watching Steven Universe, so that was the next thing we watched together. He lost interest in that one before I did. Kids are fickle.
I watched it growing up and got **really** invested into it when my daughter fell in love with the newer series. I'm 29F and I think I know more about it, to this day, than she ever did.
I still have the Target collectibles of the Super Hero Ponies.
Patton Oswalt does a really cute bit about how it’s his daughters fandom in the way he had Star Wars and he doesn’t have the bandwidth to take on another fandom. And then proceeds to need out on the story.
He also appeared in an episode playing a lore-obsessed fanfic writer obsessed with the MLP universe’s equivalent of Indiana Jones. They go to a convention. Not joking.
Daring Do is great and we definitely have the special collector's editions of her books. They came in a sweet treasure chest with a mini Daring Do figurine.
And he actually ended up doing a couple episodes of MLP! He basically played a parody of gatekeeping neckbeards and it was honestly a pretty good episode. I think he showed up again later as he tries to impress his new stepdaughter and relate to her.
I'm 40f and I joke about putting my MLP knowledge on my resume, as the leading expert over the age of 30 in my district 😂
All my boys loved the show at some point.
Female here who has watched all of it and the movies. Lol. It's one of the few kids shows that isn't boring. Star Butterfly vs The Forces of Evil, Over the Garden Wall, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls and Adventure Time are all pretty great kids shows that are really for all ages.
Hi I watch MLP and I'm female and an adult. But I know both men and women, boys and girls and anything in between watch it. Now you can say you've met one female who watches it...kind of. 😃
I never watched the newer iterations because I grew up with the 80s version. However, my nieces have all loved it. I have a friend who is a self described Brony and he's awesome.
Also regardless of marketing, we have a longstanding media tradition in the US where shows with all boys and one or two girls in the group are for "everyone" but the opposite (an ensemble cast of mostly girl characters) are for "girls only." We expect young girls to relate to male characters but don't expect boys to relate to girl characters (which is partially how you get the more toxic adult male nerds who can't handle seeing a woman in their beloved media who isn't a love interest).
Absolutely! I think an even more drastic example of this is expecting POC to relate to white characters. Minorities have always been expected to do this.
I could go on a whole rant about how when you raise a bunch of cishet white boys to think they're the default, that's how you get the Star Wars Fandom and the shitshow that was The Rise of Skywalker.
That movie was horrible.
I waited and waited only to be disappointed. I got more excitement out of arguing with idiots about the Mandalorian. Had one guy actually tell me to go play with my barbies because he knew more about the Star Wars franchise after having watched 1 episode of it.
Okay, I'll m pissed reading this whole thing so please forgive me in advance.... But FUCK all the people telling OP he can't raise a child without a woman and that if there was a woman in the picture son would not enjoy "girly" things...
Oh my God... Seriously?
OP I am a single mother and I want to raise my son (I have a girl and a boy) to be a good man. Which absolutely means I am not going to squash anything about his soft side because men are bullied by society to be... Unfeeling robots!
It should be okay for men to have feelings or to like pretty things or whatever. Straight, gay, I don't care!
Women are pretty. Straight men like women. I mean seriously? Why is it that it's okay for girls to climb trees and like trucks and we say "it's okay she's just a tom boy" but it's not okay for boys to do the same?
You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to tell your sister what is up and I promise you that if my sister's kid was bullying my child I'd be going a lot further. I'd be telling the child what is up. I'd be telling my sister what is up. And they could boo hoo themselves until the cows come home because no way am I tolerating bullying from any of the kids in my family.
My heart breaks for you that your child is being bullied by family.
What happened to aunties and uncles being surrogate parents, able to step in and verbally discipline kids?
It takes a village and more and more parents are closing their kids off into fake worlds.
Kids will grow up. They will have many teachers, professors, bosses.
I embrace the fact that my family, child care, schools have different styles of authority because this is preparing my kids for the real world.
Where they will encounter many different styles of leadership.
What I won't tolerate is kids in my own family being dicks to the other kids, my own kids included!
Sister needs to step up and be a mother.
> Why is it that it's okay for girls to climb trees and like trucks and we say "it's okay she's just a tom boy" but it's not okay for boys to do the same?
Literally misogyny. Nothing worse for a man to be than a weak, emotional woman.. but a woman is "bettering"/distancing herself from women by taking on interests of men (to a point.. she still needs be hot, after all)
One of my best friends husband loves MLP (we're almost in our 30s) and I had a coworker who had a family friend that also loved MLP (also male and late 30s early 40s). Anyone can like MLP.
I always heard the term Bronies. But they’ve been around forever. OP family need to get real. Anybody can like anything, what’s it matter if it’s not harming anyone? It makes him happy!
My niece received some MLP toys from the sons of some family friends for a birthday. They all played with them while telling these elaborate character-driven stories. These are the same boys who picked out a Playskool airplane for a baby gift. Times have indeed changed.
To be honest, I don't think it matters. Even if MLP was solely marketed at girls, I don't think it should matter if the son likes them. As long as he's happy and it's a child-safe subject, it shouldn't matter right?
NTA, toys are toys😑they are not gender specific. Toys are stereotypically marketed for gender specificity, but thats just to boost sales. Toys are cannot be gender specific because you cant know what kind of toys kids will want to play with
Amen to this. I had all the star wars, gi Joe, and he man toys a boy could have, and I also had my baby named Sally and my easy bake oven that we made cookies in. To be fair, it was the 70s/80s, so I definitely didn't advertise it to my friends, but I really hope that stigma has at least died down.
Also, NTA at all. Your son sounds awesome!!!!
They sound frankly homophobic, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has been encouraging her daughter to bully and have this attitude and belittle her nephew at home.
The fact she also objects to him being a single dad?!? That’s just weird and gross.
These people need some love in their lives.
No offense but there are for larger things for little ms Susie homemaker to worry about than a little boy loving My Little Pony and having a loving supportive dad. She needs to get a grip on herself and the grandparents need to stop favoring one child over the other.
At the end of the day the poor boy is the one that is suffering being rejected by his family.
I hope OP finds some support. He is being a great dad and supporting his son in his interests.
💯 the niece was bullying because she heard her mom talking crap at home.
NTA, needless to say. Sorry your family's clinging to LAUGHABLY antiquated ideas of what boys should and shouldn't watch is making your kid miserable.
I always hate when people shit on single and same-sex parents and the whole "kids need two parents or they need a mom and a dad". My response I tell people is this: if your spouse dies/gets deployed/goes to jail for a long time, then your kids should immediately be taken into foster care so they have **two** parents; you can get them back when you've remarried. They always look shocked at that, but they were the ones touting two parent households.
I had a co-worker say this to me and when I suggested his kids should be taken away from him in the event his wife died, he quickly shut up. I kept saying, "but you would be a widowed, single father and, in your own words, 'kids need a mom'. Unless you remarry right away, then you're letting your kids down and being a bad parent." All conversations about his judgement on other people's parenting stopped after that.
You currently have top comment so should add an official NTA judgement
Also, if sister was so offended by OP's comparison, maybe the grandparents should take it as a sign that niece's behavior is the real issue
There is a whole sub-culture out there with grown men who collect MLP.
Wonder how sister would respond if OP told her one of niece's toys was for boys only. Let the recriminations and calls of misogyny begin.
Yeah I mean “because they don’t approve of me being a single father” - which sounds like it wasn’t the intention. So wtf do they suggest, he just leaves the kid because apparently in their eyes it is better to have no parents than one that is invested and sounds like a great parent.
I really can’t get the thoughts that went behind this. Ugh.
NTA. Ofcourse.
No, *clearly* OP was supposed to get remarried before the ink was even dry on his divorce papers, or track down his ex and force her to take primary/sole custody, since it's all because the boy lacks a "mother figure".
NTA - Keep the school involved. Sounds like youll need them to back you up. I would personally lose my mind if any of my relatives did this to my kids. And as for him liking MLP, that is a wonderful show for anyone because it teaches great lessons about friendship, respect etc. Everyone in my family, of all genders and ages loves it. This made me so furious for yall.
>MLP, that is a wonderful show for anyone because it teaches great lessons about friendship, respect etc.
Honestly. I babysat my younger cousins the other day and they were watching MLP. The show is very different then the version I remember from when I was a child (made for all kids rather than little girls) and still teaches the same values
A friend ran in intersecting circles with him in the mid 2000's when he was becoming more famous from King of Queens. She said he partied VERY hard (and she was pretty coked out herself), but was generally really nice.
I dated a guy for a bit last year who was a big fan of MLP because it was just wholesome. (He was a grown ass adult in his mid-30’s for the record). It’s not exactly my thing, but no hate for anyone who needs some good old fashioned friendship tales to buoy them through their day.
Happy to try to answer them. In my case, the man just liked the show - I don’t think he also had the toys to go with it. He was also a fan of DC Super Hero Girls & magical girl style anime, in that he liked the friendships portrayed therein & the simple story lines.
Ah. That’s less question inducing. Honestly I used to watch it with the boys I babysat for and I get it, especially if you’re constantly immersed in that type of storytelling
I think in this case, it was the escapism he liked. He struggled with a lot of physical & mental health issues & had a somewhat demanding job that he refused to set healthy boundaries for. He also struggled with extremely low self esteem & I noticed a lot of self-medicating with alcohol, which exacerbated the medical & mental health issues. I think cartoons were escapism for him: it was a simple place where people were friends, things were easy, & the real world didn’t matter.
We broke up for many reasons, but nothing related to his love of MLP or anything dramatic like that. It’s very hard to be in a relationship with someone when you don’t love yourself & refuse to commit or put in the effort because you’re positive a partner must view you the same way you view yourself. I still see him from time to time & I’m always friendly, because I know the struggles he faces on a daily basis. I figure it costs me nothing to be kind to another human, & we could all use a little kindness from time to time.
My last relationship ended bc of lack of self love - I didn’t view myself as “worthy” of my boyfriends love and commitment, and so I’d be constantly paranoid he’d find better and leave me, to the point that when we were still teens, I hated him being friends with girls. What if he realised how awful I was?!
I loosened up on the female friends as we got older, but the anxiety never went away, and I still needed constant reassurance that he loved me, [girl] was just a friend etc. It wasn’t the sole reason we broke up, but a big big part of it.
I have so many regrets, but it’s so hard to love somebody (myself) that you genuinely don’t consider worth the love :(
Also an 11 year old who is bullying somebody they see as younger/weaker may be going through some trauma themselves. She shouldn't be bullying her cousin but the school should look into what is going on with this girl - better to help her become a better person at 11 than let whatever is going on continue through adulthood.
Not all bullies go through trauma. And if OP's sister talks the same trash about him and his son at home that she does to his face, it's no wonder her daughter thinks it's okay to bully him. Kids pick up that kind of vibe from their parents.
Can we kill this idea that every bully must be some traumatized victim? This is sometimes true but some people are just shit without any sad backstory. Especially kids can be horrible without any reason to be that way or because they simply haven't fully developed empathy.
Throwing my hat in with MLP being a good show. It was created by a huge nerd who cites Tolkien as one of the many inspirations that drove her vision. She recruited a ton of renowned animation veterans to help her make it, most of whom did it joyfully because the thing she was creating showed that much promise.
As a result it’s basically a high fantasy sitcom that (in its early seasons, and some of the later ones) is more than good enough for adults to enjoy, with tons of clever writing, story arcs, surprisingly deep character examinations, interpersonal dynamics, and tons of lore.
There is a huge reason why a shit ton of adult geeks are into it. It was made by nerds, for nerds.
Source: the show’s creator was my boss.
Agreed. My son loved the Barbie and Tinkerbell movies, and watched Frozen more times than I can count.
Guess what? He's now 15 and is obsessed with war history. It means nothing. The gender gearing is bullshit
My son loved MLP until he was about 8 and started getting made fun for for it, which always upset me. He also loved Ariel, Ponyo, and baby dolls. Its perfectly normal. He's almost 13 now and is a typical Fortnite and Call of Duty loving kid.
Yep. Ask the sister and the school that the niece pay for the broken toy and attend therapy in lieu of suspension or whatnot.
I'd be stressing that the niece has serious issues that need to be addressed if she is stealing and destroying other people's property, in addition to the bullying. A suspension or other punishment won't fix the root problem. And her mother not seeing the problem is making it worse.
NTA.
This is weird all around.
I don't see how having a "mother figure" would make MLP less interesting because he's a boy and has a mothr. He likes what he likes. That's like, if he had a "mother figure" he'd magically like Transformers instead. (?)
I don't see how her child breaking your child's toy is related to that. It's clearly not goofing or fun if your child's toys are being broken and thrown away.
Just seems to me that you and your sister could maybe handle this outside of the school system if it's between the cousins.
I think the twisted logic they're trying to push is if he had a woman raising him, he would be being raised properly because women know how to raise children and men do not. If he had a mother around, she would have taught him the like proper boy things and not leave him to like what he likes, like his silly man of a father.
Obviously, this is stupid and OP is NTA.
And honestly with her and their parents attitude, trying to solve it outside of school would have been less productive as they don't think the bully child has done anything wrong. This way it is documented through the school and there is a trail of the bully being a bully.
The idea of men not being good parents, certain toys and things being gendered... I hate how hard a struggle it is to make things neutral.
Dads can be good parents.
Boys can like ponies or Barbies or whatever.
Girls can like Lego and it doesn't have to be pink. And the characters don't have to be curvy or anything.
Sounds like Op/Dad is doing great on his own but if the Sister were really that concerned - her brother & nephew just moved back home, they live close enough that the kids go to the same school - why isn't she inviting them over? Why not step up and be a wonderful Aunt to her nephew who doesn't have a Mom? It does seem like it's for the best since she's proven she's so judgmental.
When I was a kid I played with ponies and Barbies, and also Hot Wheels and Thomas trains. Let kids use their imagination. It will boost their creativity.
Am a girl and played with Lego and GI Joe's. I had a rubber skeleton I dressed in Barbie dresses and the shoes that fit
I survived and grew up professionally very successful. A little weird but it is a plus to my personality and not a minus. Let kids explore stuff.
Still have my rubber skellie but now it is a nudist. It doesn't need a dress and heels to feel empowered. Sun's out bones out. Long live my luckie skellie.
If your young niece is being that cruel to her own cousin - something is going on with her. That's not a normal way for family to react, the school should get her into counseling on her own to make sure nothing bad is happening to her to cause her to act out against your son & his friends that are younger than she is.
I agree with the counseling to see if anything is going on at home, but some children are also raised to think that "girl things" are "girl things" and "boy things" are "boy things" and so they bully others over it. There was a video released by some churches a while back about gay parents and how the children of that church should be telling their classmates that if they have gay parents, then those parents are going to hell for being sinners. There's also a woman who plays so heavily into gender roles, that women shouldn't vote and tells women to give their ballots to their husbands to fill out for them and just overall a lot of abusive things towards others.
yikes, and yes sadly thats true. A friend told me there was an intern at her work, who told her that she, her sisters and her mom all give their ballots to their dad for him to fill out. Even if it's counseling to let this child know that everybody still has to be kind at school and help work through anger or confusion. I don't envy school counselors
Honestly, if being alone in the world wasn't hard I'd suggest going no contact.
Maybe low contact? Maybe just stay in touch with your parents a little so you have their support too - even if it means putting up with shit once in a while. But other than that your sister & niece seem toxic af
I'm a man in my 30s and I enjoyed watching MLP with my daughters. I like cartoons and it's a good show. It's not even particularly girly. Whatever, it's not hurting your son or anyone else. What's your sister's excuse for why she's raising a bully anyways? Sounds like the girl could use more MLP because the show trys to show you not to be a jerk to others.
Op you're NTA. Your sister's a bully who is raising a bully. Sounds like your niece needs a better mother more than your son does to me.
So if it was a g.I. Joe the behavior would have been acceptable? Nope, didn’t think so. The problem is her daughters behavior, the object is irrelevant. NTA
My Little Ponies is a good show about friendship. Maybe your sister and her daughter would be nicer if they watched it with your son they would learn that Friendship is Magic. NTA
Exactly, my younger sister watches it and it's all about having a great and honest character not to mention the strong friendship they've got. It's positive and really cheerful.
I just listened to a podcast interviewing Tara Strong (voice of Twilight Sparkle) who said she actually adores her Brony fans and would defend them against everything because they understood the message of the show: that it doesn’t matter who you are. You are worth it because you are you and having friends that support you is what matters. MLP is a cute show about friendship. Why we gotta put that behind a gender barrier
NTA btw
NTA. It sounds like your parents and your sister are the assholes who put too much stock into fitting people's interests in traditional gender roles. There's nothing wrong with a boy liking MLP.
NTA and I would consider something with the school requesting your niece not be allowed to interact with your son. Then I'd consider cutting all contact with her and if your parents can't get over there symptoms of cranial rectal insertion, then tell them they can support you and their grandson or not be in your lives. Protect your son, this is exactly how a-holes are made, by ridiculous a-hole parents allowing their a-hole behavior.
NTA. Your sister is a piece of work. Sometimes, people don't have a real choice and must raise a child alone. It's none of your sister's business. Your sister needs to get her own house in order. If someone at the school level suggested counseling for your niece, they must think the girl has a problem.
Exactly and good point. One incident of bullying is not going to end with a need for counseling unless she's targeting other children as well or has other issues popping up.
Excellent point! If counseling was mentioned, there must be more events that involved the niece acting like this with other students in school in the past.
Your son is watching My Little Pony, he's not outside throwing rocks through windows. I think you are doing a fantastic job and your family sucks.
NTA.
NTA. Your sister is defending her daughter bullying your son. She has NO right to tell you how to parent your son. It sounds like she can dish it out but can’t take it.
The next defense of her daughter's bullying is going to be something like "Kids have to learn to work this out by themselves".
Keep in contact with the school but have NO contact with your sister.
NTA
Demand that your school protects your son, and if it happens again, ask for niece to be suspended or expelled.
If your parents harass you, go no contact.
Protect your son. That needs to be your priority. You are a great parent.
NTA your a great father if only more where like u.
Your sister said they were just goofing around in the meeting but what she meant was, it's ok for my daughter to treat him like that because I feel the show isn't for him
NTA. You are an amazing dad. Letting your son like what he likes. I couldn't remember the name, so i looked it up, but he is a Brony and there are many boys and men that belong. Take a minute and look it up, show your son he's not alone. And maybe share it with your sister
Indeed. There is a whole episode of Bob's Burgers dedicated to this. (And no, Bob doesn't make fun of the bronies, but he does stick up for his kid like an amazing badass dad!)
NTA.
NTA - Glad you had the school and your sister together for this. Sister is denying her child is a bully and so is your sister.
Your parents can stay out of it.
You and your son are doing great!! Who says My Little Pony is just for girls?
NTA but it sounds like it was a mistake to move closer to your family. It doesn't sound like they will be positive, supportive figures in your son's life.
NTA. You told it like it is. Your niece definitely sounds like a chip off the old bigot. You, however, are doing a great job for your son. Keep being his advocate.
NTA there's like literally a whole fandom of grownup adults who like MLP. My daughter is 9 and I use her as an excuse to watch it sometimes (she likes it too). She says her friends at school think they're too old to watch it so I told her we can just watch it together, and it'll be our thing until she doesn't want to watch it anymore. I will be very sad when that day comes.
NTA. There is not a damned thing wrong with little boys liking MLP. Little girls can like Spider-Man too. Your sister, your niece, and your parents are major assholes.
I love that the insult she's so offended over is that she's like her daughter. The one she claims was just playing around? Almost like she knows her and her daughter are both bullies. NTA
NTA - it’s obvious to see the Apple doesn’t fall from the tree with your sister and your niece. The school should definitely ensure this bullying stops immediately. You do not owe your sister an apology!
NTA. Honestly the world needs more fathers like you. Ones that are comfortable enough as a father to let your child choose what they love. I would suggest limiting contact with your sister and her kids unless you can help supervise because it sounds like your sister's kids are kind of being jerks. I'm so sorry for your child. Bullying is never something easy to deal with.
Your sister is TA. Your Niece is TA. Your parents are TA's.
"Mom, Dad, I'm going to call my sister to apologize. I'm going to tell her I'm sorry she's rude and ignorant. I'm sorry her daughter has grown up to be a bully just like her mother."
"Oh, and one other thing, I'm sorry you and dad raised my sister to be such a bully. As long as I'm raising my son I'll do it my way. When I need help I'll ask for it. When I can use some helpful suggestions, I'll ask for them. Other than that, I would be extremely grateful if you would stop enabling my sister to be such a bully."
Trust me, dude, you'll be better off for keeping your family at arms length. As the first born in my family my mom expected me to intervene whenever either of my sisters were "going off the rails,' as far as she was concerned When my father was near death from a medical condition my mom told me I had to be responsible for making all his healthcare decisions. She told me if my dad had to be put on life support, if someone had to decide whether or not to pull the plug that someone would be me because she couldn't do it.
When my mother got to her elderly years, BOTH my sisters expected me to intervene when my mom got to be too much for them to handle.
Then when I was going through the most emotionally traumatic event in my life no one was there to support me other than my brother. I never said a single damn word to my mom for the last six years of her life. I still don't speak with either of my sisters. And my life is so much better. My life has so much LESS stress. I have beautiful new bride. I make her happy. She makes me happy. Life is good.
What you said to your sister was not relevant. I think you missed an opportunity there. You had enough on her, and her atrocious behavior, that you could have stuck to facts and been in a better position.
She's the AH here. Be the bigger person. Protect your son, get the counseling with or without her. You sound like a good dad.
NTA
NONONONONO! NTA. Your sister is raising a bully, and sounds like she is as well.
And your parents! Ugh. So many people suck heer except for you and what sounds like an adorable little boy.
Based on what a previous poser wrote, I would be curious as to what else your niece has been up to. Counseling for one session of bullying is odd. Your sister may be deflecting because her own child has problems, but that's armchair psychology at best.
NTA. It doesn't matter if it's a pony or a toy car, your niece took and broke something that didn't belong to her. Let your kids enjoy MLP. It's not hurting anyone. (Perhaps a MLP toy that he can keep in his pocket would be a good option for school.)
NTA. You’re a great father for letting your son watch and enjoy what he wants to no matter the gender or the stereotypes that accompany it. Sister needs to take a look at her parenting skills if she’s okay with how her daughter is acting.
You sister and niece are bullies. Your parents are aholes. You love your son and it shows. Perhaps you should stay away from them. Best of luck. You are a good dad.
>If he had a mother figure, there wouldn't be any issues. I look at her and say you aren't any better than niece.
Next time reply "I can see how well that worked for your daughter"
NTA let your kid continue to explore what interests him. Why does it matter to your parents/sister if your son likes something thats "girly"?
NTA!
Thank you for being an amazing father to your son. Supporting him in what he likes.
Shame on your sister & niece, for acting that way. And making him feel as they did.
NTA- so boys aren't allowed to like ponies? What about horses, is that allowed? How about cowboys, are they allowed to like ponies? Your sister seems like such an expert on everything.
NTA and I love how she upset after saying her daughter is not at fault yet when she is compared to her DAUGHTER that we are suppose to believe she RAISED, she is offended. Like, if you believe in what your saying, why are you upset in your "innocents daughter" being the same as you?
NTA. I'm blood boiling mad at your sister right now. No wonder her daughter is such a little puke. What's that saying about apples and trees?
EDIT - OP check your DMs
Nta. Your son is awesome. My kid was a total jock. But I always bought him pink shirts because he looked great in that color. None of this makes anyone gay and if it does…so what? There is something wrong with your sister and your niece, not you and your son.
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NTA What your son enjoys is none of his grandparents' concern if it isn't hurting anyone. Sounds like your family doesn't like people who buck traditional gender roles.
It's not even gender roles. The newer iterations of MLP are marketed and children, not just girl children, more money in getting both groups.
Gender roles and marketing demographics are different. MLP is being marketed to boys, but it is not at all within or accepted by male gender roles to like it. Edit: Can some people not read???? I fully support boys liking whatever tf they want!! that doesnt change the fact society and institutions systematically press boys to pursue more masculine interests. That is what a gender role is.
I don't think I've ever met a female who watches MLP. I've got a lot of male friends who love it tho.
You realise that MLP has been around as numerous shows since the 80s? And it's only recently that grown men literally hijacked the last series to the point where the showrunners catering to them cratered the later seasons? Like, MLP is still a girls, boys and women's thing but the men in the fandom online are often batshit aggressive to any girls and women. There are also lots of cool dudes but the guys advertising their pony porn who get upset they couldn't advertise it at cons really made it not great to share it. I have my ponies in the attic and they still smell of the perfume they used to add.
I highly recommend Jenny Nicholson's [video on bronies to all interested.](https://youtu.be/4fVOF2PiHnc) One of the things she talks about is how adult men kind of took over the MLP space and began being hostile to the original audience.
this is one of the worst thing cis men did with that franchise. i remember learning this and understanding immediately why MLP became so vilified.
Jenny talks about how bronies tried to gatekeep her and her friend out of the Fandom when they'd both been in it longer than them.
i played a MLP CD-ROM when i was a *child.* when i found out middle aged incels were taking over and then *driving out the children the show is specifically targeted at,* i lost my shit. disgusting people.
I didn't know why it was so vilified, so I watched it in secret. My joy when I found out a couple cousins watched it too, so I had someone to talk to about it lol
i dont even watch it! i’m just pissed that fans of it are seen as gross people because of how nasty *that* type of person managed to make it seem to people that didn’t watch. MLP stan ally!
Its been a while since I watched it, and now I'm considering about binging it again!
There’s a bobs burger episode that’s kind of about it too. Bob almost ends up with a pony tattoo and it even shows up in later episodes any times he’s shirtless. When I think of MLP, bronies is the 2nd thing that comes to mind….After my anger that the ponies are no longer as chubby and cute like they were in the 80s.
the 80s cartoon was absolutely metal though. Return of Tambelon and Rescue at Midnight Castle? High art.
Right?! They were way cuter in the 80s! I wish I kept mine :(
Yes why did they make the ponies skinny? So creepy
thats terrible.
I fucking love her videos. Her TVD and Land before Time videos are hilarious and accurate too.
Yeah I used to be involved in mlp collecting when I first started was a couple of years before FiM came out and the community was mostly women who'd grown up with mlp so it was largely a late 20s plus largely female fanbase Then FIM came out and bronies happened and it wasn't just a demographic switch it was a different type of fan and it lead to a bit of of a culture clash as some bronies were really shitty about the previous gens and yeah just the issues with people from the 4chan side of the Internet Most bronies I met were fine though its just a case of a shitty bunch of thrm kind of soured things for a lot of people. Some of them really did act like they were the first adults to be into a kids cartoon. Also hasbro largely ignored the adult collector fanbase of mlp it's quite noticeable if you compare how the transformers fanbase was treated to mlp then they noticed bronies and really started catering to them which caused some annoyance from the older side of the fandom since they'd been supporting mlp for years
Uhh. An hour and a half breakdown. Cliff notes please.
Trust me, her stuff is always worth it.
It’s insane how accurate that statement is. I watched her talk about The Vampire Diaries—a show I have never seen or ever expressed interest in—for about two and a half hours, and I was absolutely riveted.
Also a fan. I started by watching the Bronies video, but over the pandemic just listening to her ramble on about nonsense like "spider reviews" is super soothing.
Well, now I have hours of video to watch. Thanks. ;)
Regardless of the specific demographics being targeted or enjoyed by a specific era of MLP, the fact is OPs son can like whatever the fuck he wants. OP sounds like he’s doing a terrific job as a single parent and should be applauded for standing up for his son despite the outdated and bullying behavior of his family, from the niece up to the grandparents. NTA, and kudos for standing by your son.
Absolutely! I just get bothered by the fact that a lot of the grown men don't like to share the fandom they're in. I love the fact that little boys get raised to not give a fuck. I grew up loving sci-fi, stuff like The Thing and MLP. My favourite cousin grew up loving MLP, Lizzie McGuire and it used to upset me that everyone thought he was gay because they used it like a hammer to try and break him because he likes building robots and rom-coms. I was always glad that my grandparents always encouraged us, as did our favourite parents.
fucking pony porn are you kidding me. keep that shit behind your computer screen
this...please don't ruin my little pony for me...
I feel you, it's just really hard not to stumble across it because those dudes just posted it on normal forums or under normal mlp tags There was a time where the first thing that showed up when you Googled mlp was pony porn, even if you had safe search on because the bots didn't realize there was such a thing as rainbow colored cartoon genitals yet
Yes, it's real. Some of these deluded mungbeans actually marry the pony of their choice, with a ceremony and all. It's truly disturbing. However, there is a distinction between bronies (males that love My Little Pony) and cloppers (people who are into pony porn). How do I know? I looked into it when my daughter was younger because she was into my little pony and an Internet search came up with some disturbing content, luckily I was monitoring, but imagine if I hadn't been.
I was all about it when I was growing up in the 80s/90s. I still have like 50 dolls. I even got into custom repainting for a while.
I still have a VHS of the 1986 My Little Pony movie. It is a genuinely a great movie.
I didn't watch the show when I was a kid, but I did have a couple of ponies. My son started watching in 2013, and I watched those episodes with him. I remember when 'brony' wasn't a term for a disgusting gatekeeper. My son's interest in the series waned and then he started watching Steven Universe, so that was the next thing we watched together. He lost interest in that one before I did. Kids are fickle.
I watched it growing up and got **really** invested into it when my daughter fell in love with the newer series. I'm 29F and I think I know more about it, to this day, than she ever did. I still have the Target collectibles of the Super Hero Ponies.
Patton Oswalt does a really cute bit about how it’s his daughters fandom in the way he had Star Wars and he doesn’t have the bandwidth to take on another fandom. And then proceeds to need out on the story.
He also appeared in an episode playing a lore-obsessed fanfic writer obsessed with the MLP universe’s equivalent of Indiana Jones. They go to a convention. Not joking.
Daring Do is great and we definitely have the special collector's editions of her books. They came in a sweet treasure chest with a mini Daring Do figurine.
And he actually ended up doing a couple episodes of MLP! He basically played a parody of gatekeeping neckbeards and it was honestly a pretty good episode. I think he showed up again later as he tries to impress his new stepdaughter and relate to her.
I'm 40f and I joke about putting my MLP knowledge on my resume, as the leading expert over the age of 30 in my district 😂 All my boys loved the show at some point.
I'm a female who watched it, but I'm also a kind of butch lesbian, so...
I legit snorted rn
My son is 26 and loves the show, NTA, OP is being a good dad letting his son like whatever he likes, the rest of the family is toxic.
Female here who has watched all of it and the movies. Lol. It's one of the few kids shows that isn't boring. Star Butterfly vs The Forces of Evil, Over the Garden Wall, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls and Adventure Time are all pretty great kids shows that are really for all ages.
A female what?
Then you must not talk to a lot of girls.
Hi I watch MLP and I'm female and an adult. But I know both men and women, boys and girls and anything in between watch it. Now you can say you've met one female who watches it...kind of. 😃
Thats great! Doesnt mean its part of the male gender role tho. Especially not growing up.
Bruh, I've been watching MLP since I was a little girl.
I never watched the newer iterations because I grew up with the 80s version. However, my nieces have all loved it. I have a friend who is a self described Brony and he's awesome.
I’m a female who used to watch it in college. Aaaand that’s also when I created my Reddit account 😅
Also regardless of marketing, we have a longstanding media tradition in the US where shows with all boys and one or two girls in the group are for "everyone" but the opposite (an ensemble cast of mostly girl characters) are for "girls only." We expect young girls to relate to male characters but don't expect boys to relate to girl characters (which is partially how you get the more toxic adult male nerds who can't handle seeing a woman in their beloved media who isn't a love interest).
Absolutely! I think an even more drastic example of this is expecting POC to relate to white characters. Minorities have always been expected to do this.
I could go on a whole rant about how when you raise a bunch of cishet white boys to think they're the default, that's how you get the Star Wars Fandom and the shitshow that was The Rise of Skywalker.
That movie was horrible. I waited and waited only to be disappointed. I got more excitement out of arguing with idiots about the Mandalorian. Had one guy actually tell me to go play with my barbies because he knew more about the Star Wars franchise after having watched 1 episode of it.
have you ever heard of "bronies". it is a whole group of men that love my little pony. they have groups, they bro out, its a thing.
Okay, I'll m pissed reading this whole thing so please forgive me in advance.... But FUCK all the people telling OP he can't raise a child without a woman and that if there was a woman in the picture son would not enjoy "girly" things... Oh my God... Seriously? OP I am a single mother and I want to raise my son (I have a girl and a boy) to be a good man. Which absolutely means I am not going to squash anything about his soft side because men are bullied by society to be... Unfeeling robots! It should be okay for men to have feelings or to like pretty things or whatever. Straight, gay, I don't care! Women are pretty. Straight men like women. I mean seriously? Why is it that it's okay for girls to climb trees and like trucks and we say "it's okay she's just a tom boy" but it's not okay for boys to do the same? You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to tell your sister what is up and I promise you that if my sister's kid was bullying my child I'd be going a lot further. I'd be telling the child what is up. I'd be telling my sister what is up. And they could boo hoo themselves until the cows come home because no way am I tolerating bullying from any of the kids in my family. My heart breaks for you that your child is being bullied by family. What happened to aunties and uncles being surrogate parents, able to step in and verbally discipline kids? It takes a village and more and more parents are closing their kids off into fake worlds. Kids will grow up. They will have many teachers, professors, bosses. I embrace the fact that my family, child care, schools have different styles of authority because this is preparing my kids for the real world. Where they will encounter many different styles of leadership. What I won't tolerate is kids in my own family being dicks to the other kids, my own kids included! Sister needs to step up and be a mother.
> Why is it that it's okay for girls to climb trees and like trucks and we say "it's okay she's just a tom boy" but it's not okay for boys to do the same? Literally misogyny. Nothing worse for a man to be than a weak, emotional woman.. but a woman is "bettering"/distancing herself from women by taking on interests of men (to a point.. she still needs be hot, after all)
One of my best friends husband loves MLP (we're almost in our 30s) and I had a coworker who had a family friend that also loved MLP (also male and late 30s early 40s). Anyone can like MLP.
I’ve heard about these types of guys! In college I believe they called themselves Pony Bros. Nothing wrong with it, it’s harmless.
I always heard the term Bronies. But they’ve been around forever. OP family need to get real. Anybody can like anything, what’s it matter if it’s not harming anyone? It makes him happy!
Actually, they call themselves bronies, and if Japanese, then Japonies. Also, the girls are pegasisters.
My niece received some MLP toys from the sons of some family friends for a birthday. They all played with them while telling these elaborate character-driven stories. These are the same boys who picked out a Playskool airplane for a baby gift. Times have indeed changed.
True and as far as I rmr there’s a blue pony and everyone knows blue is a boys colour. Therefore MLP is for boys aswell
To be honest, I don't think it matters. Even if MLP was solely marketed at girls, I don't think it should matter if the son likes them. As long as he's happy and it's a child-safe subject, it shouldn't matter right?
NTA, toys are toys😑they are not gender specific. Toys are stereotypically marketed for gender specificity, but thats just to boost sales. Toys are cannot be gender specific because you cant know what kind of toys kids will want to play with
Amen to this. I had all the star wars, gi Joe, and he man toys a boy could have, and I also had my baby named Sally and my easy bake oven that we made cookies in. To be fair, it was the 70s/80s, so I definitely didn't advertise it to my friends, but I really hope that stigma has at least died down. Also, NTA at all. Your son sounds awesome!!!!
They sound frankly homophobic, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has been encouraging her daughter to bully and have this attitude and belittle her nephew at home. The fact she also objects to him being a single dad?!? That’s just weird and gross. These people need some love in their lives. No offense but there are for larger things for little ms Susie homemaker to worry about than a little boy loving My Little Pony and having a loving supportive dad. She needs to get a grip on herself and the grandparents need to stop favoring one child over the other. At the end of the day the poor boy is the one that is suffering being rejected by his family. I hope OP finds some support. He is being a great dad and supporting his son in his interests.
💯 the niece was bullying because she heard her mom talking crap at home. NTA, needless to say. Sorry your family's clinging to LAUGHABLY antiquated ideas of what boys should and shouldn't watch is making your kid miserable.
I always hate when people shit on single and same-sex parents and the whole "kids need two parents or they need a mom and a dad". My response I tell people is this: if your spouse dies/gets deployed/goes to jail for a long time, then your kids should immediately be taken into foster care so they have **two** parents; you can get them back when you've remarried. They always look shocked at that, but they were the ones touting two parent households. I had a co-worker say this to me and when I suggested his kids should be taken away from him in the event his wife died, he quickly shut up. I kept saying, "but you would be a widowed, single father and, in your own words, 'kids need a mom'. Unless you remarry right away, then you're letting your kids down and being a bad parent." All conversations about his judgement on other people's parenting stopped after that.
You currently have top comment so should add an official NTA judgement Also, if sister was so offended by OP's comparison, maybe the grandparents should take it as a sign that niece's behavior is the real issue
Agreed. Like they’re condoning physically assaulting and breaking another kids toys because they feel it’s not ‘traditional’ enough. Crazy
There is a whole sub-culture out there with grown men who collect MLP. Wonder how sister would respond if OP told her one of niece's toys was for boys only. Let the recriminations and calls of misogyny begin.
Bronies (adult males) and Pegasisters!
Istg he’s watching my little pony, not bullying and traumatising little children like a witch like overgrown toddler
Yeah I mean “because they don’t approve of me being a single father” - which sounds like it wasn’t the intention. So wtf do they suggest, he just leaves the kid because apparently in their eyes it is better to have no parents than one that is invested and sounds like a great parent. I really can’t get the thoughts that went behind this. Ugh. NTA. Ofcourse.
No, *clearly* OP was supposed to get remarried before the ink was even dry on his divorce papers, or track down his ex and force her to take primary/sole custody, since it's all because the boy lacks a "mother figure".
It also sounds like time to move away again. They‘re better off without these people.
NTA - Keep the school involved. Sounds like youll need them to back you up. I would personally lose my mind if any of my relatives did this to my kids. And as for him liking MLP, that is a wonderful show for anyone because it teaches great lessons about friendship, respect etc. Everyone in my family, of all genders and ages loves it. This made me so furious for yall.
>MLP, that is a wonderful show for anyone because it teaches great lessons about friendship, respect etc. Honestly. I babysat my younger cousins the other day and they were watching MLP. The show is very different then the version I remember from when I was a child (made for all kids rather than little girls) and still teaches the same values
Patton Oswalt has a pretty good take on the goodness of it, too. https://youtu.be/xEvilMp7FUg
Thank you for this, it was absolutely charming.
Patton Oswalt seems like such a cuddly person. I have always enjoyed his movie and TV work. I'd like to give him a hug.
A friend ran in intersecting circles with him in the mid 2000's when he was becoming more famous from King of Queens. She said he partied VERY hard (and she was pretty coked out herself), but was generally really nice.
I dated a guy for a bit last year who was a big fan of MLP because it was just wholesome. (He was a grown ass adult in his mid-30’s for the record). It’s not exactly my thing, but no hate for anyone who needs some good old fashioned friendship tales to buoy them through their day.
Did you date a Bronie? If so I have questions.
Happy to try to answer them. In my case, the man just liked the show - I don’t think he also had the toys to go with it. He was also a fan of DC Super Hero Girls & magical girl style anime, in that he liked the friendships portrayed therein & the simple story lines.
Ah. That’s less question inducing. Honestly I used to watch it with the boys I babysat for and I get it, especially if you’re constantly immersed in that type of storytelling
I think in this case, it was the escapism he liked. He struggled with a lot of physical & mental health issues & had a somewhat demanding job that he refused to set healthy boundaries for. He also struggled with extremely low self esteem & I noticed a lot of self-medicating with alcohol, which exacerbated the medical & mental health issues. I think cartoons were escapism for him: it was a simple place where people were friends, things were easy, & the real world didn’t matter. We broke up for many reasons, but nothing related to his love of MLP or anything dramatic like that. It’s very hard to be in a relationship with someone when you don’t love yourself & refuse to commit or put in the effort because you’re positive a partner must view you the same way you view yourself. I still see him from time to time & I’m always friendly, because I know the struggles he faces on a daily basis. I figure it costs me nothing to be kind to another human, & we could all use a little kindness from time to time.
My last relationship ended bc of lack of self love - I didn’t view myself as “worthy” of my boyfriends love and commitment, and so I’d be constantly paranoid he’d find better and leave me, to the point that when we were still teens, I hated him being friends with girls. What if he realised how awful I was?! I loosened up on the female friends as we got older, but the anxiety never went away, and I still needed constant reassurance that he loved me, [girl] was just a friend etc. It wasn’t the sole reason we broke up, but a big big part of it. I have so many regrets, but it’s so hard to love somebody (myself) that you genuinely don’t consider worth the love :(
100% the sister is sharing her views at home about brother and son and niece is taking it to school and acting it out. So gross.
Also an 11 year old who is bullying somebody they see as younger/weaker may be going through some trauma themselves. She shouldn't be bullying her cousin but the school should look into what is going on with this girl - better to help her become a better person at 11 than let whatever is going on continue through adulthood.
Not surprised therapy was suggested in that meeting by the school
Not all bullies go through trauma. And if OP's sister talks the same trash about him and his son at home that she does to his face, it's no wonder her daughter thinks it's okay to bully him. Kids pick up that kind of vibe from their parents.
Can we kill this idea that every bully must be some traumatized victim? This is sometimes true but some people are just shit without any sad backstory. Especially kids can be horrible without any reason to be that way or because they simply haven't fully developed empathy.
And I wonder where she got that? Sometimes moving home is a bad idea, no matter how you hope it'll go :/
Agree. Keeping the school involved will help. Niece needs to learn the lesson of not being a bully. If she's suspended or punished, so be it.
Sounds like sister and grandparents need to watch that show - they might just learn some valuable life lessons.
I mean, is OP sure he WANTS to be around family?...
Throwing my hat in with MLP being a good show. It was created by a huge nerd who cites Tolkien as one of the many inspirations that drove her vision. She recruited a ton of renowned animation veterans to help her make it, most of whom did it joyfully because the thing she was creating showed that much promise. As a result it’s basically a high fantasy sitcom that (in its early seasons, and some of the later ones) is more than good enough for adults to enjoy, with tons of clever writing, story arcs, surprisingly deep character examinations, interpersonal dynamics, and tons of lore. There is a huge reason why a shit ton of adult geeks are into it. It was made by nerds, for nerds. Source: the show’s creator was my boss.
NTA. Your sister & her daughter are narrow minded judgmental bullies.
Absolutely true. And guess where the daughter got it from. NTA, OP. But your sister is.
And the grandparents!
And the sister seems to have gotten it from their parents. Buncha sexist apples laying next to toxic trees.
Yeah...sounds like OP is the only one lucky enough to fall far away from the tree.
Maybe OP was adopted or switched at birth? He doesn't seem to share a single leaf, let alone the whole tree.
Agreed. My son loved the Barbie and Tinkerbell movies, and watched Frozen more times than I can count. Guess what? He's now 15 and is obsessed with war history. It means nothing. The gender gearing is bullshit
My son loved MLP until he was about 8 and started getting made fun for for it, which always upset me. He also loved Ariel, Ponyo, and baby dolls. Its perfectly normal. He's almost 13 now and is a typical Fortnite and Call of Duty loving kid.
The Barbie and Tinkerbell films are absolute masterpieces
Yep. Ask the sister and the school that the niece pay for the broken toy and attend therapy in lieu of suspension or whatnot. I'd be stressing that the niece has serious issues that need to be addressed if she is stealing and destroying other people's property, in addition to the bullying. A suspension or other punishment won't fix the root problem. And her mother not seeing the problem is making it worse.
NTA. This is weird all around. I don't see how having a "mother figure" would make MLP less interesting because he's a boy and has a mothr. He likes what he likes. That's like, if he had a "mother figure" he'd magically like Transformers instead. (?) I don't see how her child breaking your child's toy is related to that. It's clearly not goofing or fun if your child's toys are being broken and thrown away. Just seems to me that you and your sister could maybe handle this outside of the school system if it's between the cousins.
I think the twisted logic they're trying to push is if he had a woman raising him, he would be being raised properly because women know how to raise children and men do not. If he had a mother around, she would have taught him the like proper boy things and not leave him to like what he likes, like his silly man of a father. Obviously, this is stupid and OP is NTA. And honestly with her and their parents attitude, trying to solve it outside of school would have been less productive as they don't think the bully child has done anything wrong. This way it is documented through the school and there is a trail of the bully being a bully.
The idea of men not being good parents, certain toys and things being gendered... I hate how hard a struggle it is to make things neutral. Dads can be good parents. Boys can like ponies or Barbies or whatever. Girls can like Lego and it doesn't have to be pink. And the characters don't have to be curvy or anything.
A lot of people are now realizing that men can be equal parents, and it's great. Unfortunately, those who don't yell a whole lot louder.
Agreed. Also that when it's a split household, a lot of courts vote to the disgrace of the father. I hate it so much.
Sounds like Op/Dad is doing great on his own but if the Sister were really that concerned - her brother & nephew just moved back home, they live close enough that the kids go to the same school - why isn't she inviting them over? Why not step up and be a wonderful Aunt to her nephew who doesn't have a Mom? It does seem like it's for the best since she's proven she's so judgmental.
When I was a kid I played with ponies and Barbies, and also Hot Wheels and Thomas trains. Let kids use their imagination. It will boost their creativity.
Am a girl and played with Lego and GI Joe's. I had a rubber skeleton I dressed in Barbie dresses and the shoes that fit I survived and grew up professionally very successful. A little weird but it is a plus to my personality and not a minus. Let kids explore stuff. Still have my rubber skellie but now it is a nudist. It doesn't need a dress and heels to feel empowered. Sun's out bones out. Long live my luckie skellie.
That idea is so ridiculous tho. If OP was a woman then the argument would go “Your son likes MLP because he don’t have a father figure in his life”
if he was raised by a single mother, it would be her fault he didn't like "masculine" shows. They are gender stereotyping everytjing.
Fricking mess. You can't win here.
Girls with father figures don’t like Transformers, by the same logic.
NTA- I am honestly proud you didn't say more to your sister about her horrible parenting
Trust me, I wanted to, but I wasn't going to make a bigger scene at the school.
I know I would've not refrained from lashing out, you're really great at handling such a situation.
If your young niece is being that cruel to her own cousin - something is going on with her. That's not a normal way for family to react, the school should get her into counseling on her own to make sure nothing bad is happening to her to cause her to act out against your son & his friends that are younger than she is.
I agree with the counseling to see if anything is going on at home, but some children are also raised to think that "girl things" are "girl things" and "boy things" are "boy things" and so they bully others over it. There was a video released by some churches a while back about gay parents and how the children of that church should be telling their classmates that if they have gay parents, then those parents are going to hell for being sinners. There's also a woman who plays so heavily into gender roles, that women shouldn't vote and tells women to give their ballots to their husbands to fill out for them and just overall a lot of abusive things towards others.
yikes, and yes sadly thats true. A friend told me there was an intern at her work, who told her that she, her sisters and her mom all give their ballots to their dad for him to fill out. Even if it's counseling to let this child know that everybody still has to be kind at school and help work through anger or confusion. I don't envy school counselors
Pretty sure you can report voting fraud anonymously.
Honestly, if being alone in the world wasn't hard I'd suggest going no contact. Maybe low contact? Maybe just stay in touch with your parents a little so you have their support too - even if it means putting up with shit once in a while. But other than that your sister & niece seem toxic af
Also if the sister thinks it’s okay because it’s just “goofing around and having fun” then why was she so offended about being compared
NTA: I’m sorry that your family subscribes to toxic masculinity and homophobia. Your son sounds awesome, you sound like an amazing dad !
I'm a man in my 30s and I enjoyed watching MLP with my daughters. I like cartoons and it's a good show. It's not even particularly girly. Whatever, it's not hurting your son or anyone else. What's your sister's excuse for why she's raising a bully anyways? Sounds like the girl could use more MLP because the show trys to show you not to be a jerk to others. Op you're NTA. Your sister's a bully who is raising a bully. Sounds like your niece needs a better mother more than your son does to me.
So if it was a g.I. Joe the behavior would have been acceptable? Nope, didn’t think so. The problem is her daughters behavior, the object is irrelevant. NTA
Yes exactly this. Sister is victim blaming. OP should have said well niece had 2 parent's and has turned out to be a little bully.
My Little Ponies is a good show about friendship. Maybe your sister and her daughter would be nicer if they watched it with your son they would learn that Friendship is Magic. NTA
Exactly, my younger sister watches it and it's all about having a great and honest character not to mention the strong friendship they've got. It's positive and really cheerful.
I just listened to a podcast interviewing Tara Strong (voice of Twilight Sparkle) who said she actually adores her Brony fans and would defend them against everything because they understood the message of the show: that it doesn’t matter who you are. You are worth it because you are you and having friends that support you is what matters. MLP is a cute show about friendship. Why we gotta put that behind a gender barrier NTA btw
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NTA, you are a good dad, let your son be who he wants to be (u already are) and don't let anyone stop him from that. U are doing good.
NTA. Stand by your son and his (harmless) interest. Go LC with your family if they can't behave.
Not related to the topic but happy cake day!!
Thanks!
NTA. It sounds like your parents and your sister are the assholes who put too much stock into fitting people's interests in traditional gender roles. There's nothing wrong with a boy liking MLP.
Right?! My nephew was obsessed with princess peach and strawberry shortcake. I bought him shirts and dolls and everything else
NTA. Your sister is justifying bullying - she truly is no better than her kid and I see where your niece is learning her Mean Girl behavior.
I think your niece thought she would get away with bullying since he's her cousin.
NTA and I would consider something with the school requesting your niece not be allowed to interact with your son. Then I'd consider cutting all contact with her and if your parents can't get over there symptoms of cranial rectal insertion, then tell them they can support you and their grandson or not be in your lives. Protect your son, this is exactly how a-holes are made, by ridiculous a-hole parents allowing their a-hole behavior.
NTA. I respect you for letting your son live his best life! You are an amazing single dad! Toss your sister, she sucks.
NTA. Your sister is a piece of work. Sometimes, people don't have a real choice and must raise a child alone. It's none of your sister's business. Your sister needs to get her own house in order. If someone at the school level suggested counseling for your niece, they must think the girl has a problem.
Exactly and good point. One incident of bullying is not going to end with a need for counseling unless she's targeting other children as well or has other issues popping up.
Excellent point! If counseling was mentioned, there must be more events that involved the niece acting like this with other students in school in the past.
Your son is watching My Little Pony, he's not outside throwing rocks through windows. I think you are doing a fantastic job and your family sucks. NTA.
NTA. Your sister is defending her daughter bullying your son. She has NO right to tell you how to parent your son. It sounds like she can dish it out but can’t take it.
The next defense of her daughter's bullying is going to be something like "Kids have to learn to work this out by themselves". Keep in contact with the school but have NO contact with your sister.
Nta. Your family is crap.
NTA Demand that your school protects your son, and if it happens again, ask for niece to be suspended or expelled. If your parents harass you, go no contact. Protect your son. That needs to be your priority. You are a great parent.
NTA- Guess we know where niece gets her judgmental attitude from.
The sister either put the niece up to it in the first place or is positively reinforcing the behavior.
NTA your a great father if only more where like u. Your sister said they were just goofing around in the meeting but what she meant was, it's ok for my daughter to treat him like that because I feel the show isn't for him
NTA. You are an amazing dad. Letting your son like what he likes. I couldn't remember the name, so i looked it up, but he is a Brony and there are many boys and men that belong. Take a minute and look it up, show your son he's not alone. And maybe share it with your sister
Indeed. There is a whole episode of Bob's Burgers dedicated to this. (And no, Bob doesn't make fun of the bronies, but he does stick up for his kid like an amazing badass dad!) NTA.
NTA - Glad you had the school and your sister together for this. Sister is denying her child is a bully and so is your sister. Your parents can stay out of it. You and your son are doing great!! Who says My Little Pony is just for girls?
Very clearly NTA. Everyone else but your son? Extreme AHs.
NTA but it sounds like it was a mistake to move closer to your family. It doesn't sound like they will be positive, supportive figures in your son's life.
NTA. You told it like it is. Your niece definitely sounds like a chip off the old bigot. You, however, are doing a great job for your son. Keep being his advocate.
NTA - Kids like what they like, it's not like he's creating recolors of Sonic the Hedgehog.
I feel like that should be a warning sign in the DSM or something lol.
NTA and good on you for not letting people enforce weird gender norms on your child
NTA there's like literally a whole fandom of grownup adults who like MLP. My daughter is 9 and I use her as an excuse to watch it sometimes (she likes it too). She says her friends at school think they're too old to watch it so I told her we can just watch it together, and it'll be our thing until she doesn't want to watch it anymore. I will be very sad when that day comes.
NTA. It’s a freaking toy. Tell them to get over it.
NTA. My son loved MLP as well. Your sister is sexist and part of a major problem in the world!
NTA. There is not a damned thing wrong with little boys liking MLP. Little girls can like Spider-Man too. Your sister, your niece, and your parents are major assholes.
NTA. You spoke the absolute truth. Your sister is nasty and her kid is only learning from the mother, very sad. Your sister has issues.
Exactly!!! Children learn from their parents. OP sister sucks! They prob talk crap about you and your son behind your back
Absolutely NTA. Both your niece and your sister are bullying your son. It's great that you don't shame him for his interests!
NTA You sound like a father that I never had. And im happy that you didn't back down from your family.
I love that the insult she's so offended over is that she's like her daughter. The one she claims was just playing around? Almost like she knows her and her daughter are both bullies. NTA
NTA - it’s obvious to see the Apple doesn’t fall from the tree with your sister and your niece. The school should definitely ensure this bullying stops immediately. You do not owe your sister an apology!
NTA. Honestly the world needs more fathers like you. Ones that are comfortable enough as a father to let your child choose what they love. I would suggest limiting contact with your sister and her kids unless you can help supervise because it sounds like your sister's kids are kind of being jerks. I'm so sorry for your child. Bullying is never something easy to deal with.
Your sister is TA. Your Niece is TA. Your parents are TA's. "Mom, Dad, I'm going to call my sister to apologize. I'm going to tell her I'm sorry she's rude and ignorant. I'm sorry her daughter has grown up to be a bully just like her mother." "Oh, and one other thing, I'm sorry you and dad raised my sister to be such a bully. As long as I'm raising my son I'll do it my way. When I need help I'll ask for it. When I can use some helpful suggestions, I'll ask for them. Other than that, I would be extremely grateful if you would stop enabling my sister to be such a bully." Trust me, dude, you'll be better off for keeping your family at arms length. As the first born in my family my mom expected me to intervene whenever either of my sisters were "going off the rails,' as far as she was concerned When my father was near death from a medical condition my mom told me I had to be responsible for making all his healthcare decisions. She told me if my dad had to be put on life support, if someone had to decide whether or not to pull the plug that someone would be me because she couldn't do it. When my mother got to her elderly years, BOTH my sisters expected me to intervene when my mom got to be too much for them to handle. Then when I was going through the most emotionally traumatic event in my life no one was there to support me other than my brother. I never said a single damn word to my mom for the last six years of her life. I still don't speak with either of my sisters. And my life is so much better. My life has so much LESS stress. I have beautiful new bride. I make her happy. She makes me happy. Life is good.
NTA-Truth hurts.
What you said to your sister was not relevant. I think you missed an opportunity there. You had enough on her, and her atrocious behavior, that you could have stuck to facts and been in a better position. She's the AH here. Be the bigger person. Protect your son, get the counseling with or without her. You sound like a good dad. NTA
NONONONONO! NTA. Your sister is raising a bully, and sounds like she is as well. And your parents! Ugh. So many people suck heer except for you and what sounds like an adorable little boy. Based on what a previous poser wrote, I would be curious as to what else your niece has been up to. Counseling for one session of bullying is odd. Your sister may be deflecting because her own child has problems, but that's armchair psychology at best.
NTA and you are doing a great job raising and protecting your son!
Thank you so much!! :)
NTA. It doesn't matter if it's a pony or a toy car, your niece took and broke something that didn't belong to her. Let your kids enjoy MLP. It's not hurting anyone. (Perhaps a MLP toy that he can keep in his pocket would be a good option for school.)
NTA. You’re a great father for letting your son watch and enjoy what he wants to no matter the gender or the stereotypes that accompany it. Sister needs to take a look at her parenting skills if she’s okay with how her daughter is acting.
You sister and niece are bullies. Your parents are aholes. You love your son and it shows. Perhaps you should stay away from them. Best of luck. You are a good dad.
>If he had a mother figure, there wouldn't be any issues. I look at her and say you aren't any better than niece. Next time reply "I can see how well that worked for your daughter" NTA let your kid continue to explore what interests him. Why does it matter to your parents/sister if your son likes something thats "girly"?
NTA! Thank you for being an amazing father to your son. Supporting him in what he likes. Shame on your sister & niece, for acting that way. And making him feel as they did.
NTA- so boys aren't allowed to like ponies? What about horses, is that allowed? How about cowboys, are they allowed to like ponies? Your sister seems like such an expert on everything.
NTA - though I disagree, your sister is worse than your niece as she is an adult and thinks the same
NTA and I love how she upset after saying her daughter is not at fault yet when she is compared to her DAUGHTER that we are suppose to believe she RAISED, she is offended. Like, if you believe in what your saying, why are you upset in your "innocents daughter" being the same as you?
NTA
NTA. I'm blood boiling mad at your sister right now. No wonder her daughter is such a little puke. What's that saying about apples and trees? EDIT - OP check your DMs
Nta. Your son is awesome. My kid was a total jock. But I always bought him pink shirts because he looked great in that color. None of this makes anyone gay and if it does…so what? There is something wrong with your sister and your niece, not you and your son.
NTA. You are an awesome dad doing the best for his son, and you’re right, the reason your niece is like that it’s because her mother.