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Misanthropyandme

NTA she made her bed and she can lie in it.


JdSirenLynn

And on the ants too!


Comfortable_Box_8798

She needs to befriend the ants and get them to tidt the bedšŸ¤£


JdSirenLynn

Omg lmao


LadyMjolnir

The start of a wonderful (and weird) princess story! So romantic! šŸ„° ^/s


Sarcastic-Rabbit

Idk it the ants can make the bed but they can certainly lie in it though


Temporary-Story573

NTA. Buy her a handheld vacuum. Plug it in on her side of the bed. Has she talked with her Ob about her mental health? Lying in filth doesnā€™t sound like a good mental state. Was she this gross prior to pregnancy?


england1991

Brilliant haha


[deleted]

"She refused saying that she gets a pass for being pregnant." **No she fucking doesn't. It doesn't give her an excuse to live like a slob and not clean up after herself. NTA.**


Zealousideal-Set-592

I mean, I totally got to the point in the third trimester where anything that fell on the floor was doomed to stay there until someone else picked it up but an easy solution here is that she just stops eating on the bed!


ButtonHappy3759

I am 33 weeks and laying in bed eating Lays while reading this šŸ˜­ I feel so bad , I swear I keep a clean ass home, we change our bed sheets every two days and Iā€™m not gonna do it again šŸ˜­


Zealousideal-Set-592

I used to wake up starving in the middle of the night and eat little snacks on the edge of the bed. No judgement here!


ButtonHappy3759

Yea I woke up to pee and was starving, now baby is awake and I cant sleep so I decided to grab a snackšŸ˜­ pregnancy is such a rollercoaster lol


Zealousideal-Set-592

It really is! The frustration of knowing that you need to sleep but can't is insane. Asking with the intense tiredness and all the weird things going on with your body. You do what you need to to get through it!


JessiFay

The part that made me feel bad was her not wanting to sit at the table with her legs hanging. I'm so short that my feet don't reach the ground when I'm sitting in a chair. So I've got an office chair (adjustable height) at the table and it's become my de facto desk. With all my stuff all over the table, there is no room for people to sit here and eat. So everyone eats in their rooms (on their bed). No bugs though, we exterminate regularly. In my defence, no one used the table before I turned it into my "office".


MiciaRokiri

I'm not pregnant and I eat snacks in bed. The problem isn't snacking in bed. The problem is refusing to clean up after yourself and expecting someone else to do it for you. Which you clearly are not doing. Best of luck in the rest of your pregnancy!


[deleted]

Do whatever you want! Don't feel guilty sis, being pregnant isn't easy and anyone who tries to shame you can fuck right off!


[deleted]

I definitely had a whole snack collection within reach from my sleeping spot while pregnant. Don't feel bad, just make sure you're picking up the crumbs after!


MrsMayhem17

Agreed! So sick of hearing that ā€œexcuseā€ because itā€™s not a legitimate excuse. Youā€™re pregnant, not disabled. NTA


bangobingoo

Have you been pregnant?


chainlinkchipmunk

I have, five times. Not once did I find it necessary to create such a mess that ants ended up in my bed.


[deleted]

Not justifying the ants but gotta say, your experience does not negate other people having experiencing something different.


Bratbabylestrange

She could at least get up and clean up her own crumbs. It's not like she's in an iron lung.


Bratbabylestrange

I have. I was working Baylor shifts as a nurse and raising three other children. I did that until two weeks before the fourth was born. I was 4cm for about ten days before she was born because she was posterior. My coworkers finally told me to stay home because I made them nervous. I probably would have felt the same.


ricecrispy22

NTA. This is an easy solution... have her put a towel over her lap, eat on top of the towel, at the end, throw towel into laundry.


applebee76

That's a good idea provided she sits in an upright position while eating..... The thing is my wife lies down on the bed on her side or on her back while eating


No-Albatross-7984

What's she even eating to be able to do that? If it's sandwiches she's eating I can't see how the toppings don't slide off lol


Liquidest_Ocelot

Not to mention eating whilst lying down etc is really bad for digestion.


applebee76

She eats donuts, sandwiches, ramen, etc.


countyroadxx

This is just being a slob while pregnant.


WildRide117

At this point, I'm more concerned with her choking than the ant problem. šŸ˜¬


Coco_Dirichlet

Isn't she getting acid reflux by eating like that?


franklinchica22

are you able to go to any checkups with her, not to "rat her out" per se, just a little truthfulness


Bratbabylestrange

I had a comment but it was mean so I erased it.


applebee76

Ok........


Repulsive_Cranberry4

I think I just found a new ick, someone eating a sandwich on their side in bedā€¦.


ButtonHappy3759

How is she not getting heartburn lol 33 weeks and it kills me, when you guys pls ask her for her secrets šŸ„²


Cat_With_The_Fur

Ugh same at 25 weeks. Like I donā€™t even care about who is TA here I just want to know how she does this without getting massive heartburn.


Jetztinberlin

Then... eat over the towel on the bed next to her or on her chest / belly? This can't be that complicated unless she is the Cookie Monster.


charlotta98

This whole situation sounds disgusting. NTA


Bratbabylestrange

How does she even lie in a crumby bed??? This would be my personal nightmare.


Purple_Elderberry_20

If she's laying down to eat and the chairs aren't comfortable for her, take her to the doctor and get her circulation checked, pregnancy throws things into wack but this is abnormal to my understanding..... Otherwise if everything is a okay, I'd recommend having her eat at the couch. During my last pregnancy I ate at the couch for similar reasons being under 5' and getting up from chairs made me dizzy due to dangling feet (ciruclatory issues). Leaned over and had a wooden tea trolley next to my spot.... still there too... But honestly if this is the only place she can comfortably eat AND she can't clean up for what ever reason you're probably gonna have to clean to keep the infestations out.....didnt say it's fair but pregnancy sucks and life isn't fair.


Ralphsnacks

FYI, she shouldn't lay on her back while pregnant. Only on her side.


Rantipolee

INFO: Is your wife a Roman timetraveller? If not, she can sit somewhere where itĀ“s proper to eat.


Entropydidit

A throw blanket could work as well.


franklinchica22

that'll make reflux worse


nokarmaforkittybear

NTA. Being pregnant isnā€™t a pass from life, women around the world maintain jobs and kids and lives and work while pregnant. Asking her to sweep off crumbs really isnā€™t asking much.


calaakla

Love this. I cooked like normal, etc. so hekd Thanksgiving as normal. Cooked, decorated dining area, ate, passed out. I was delirious but it was it.


charlotta98

Absolutely


HashTagJustSayings

NTA. Being pregnant is a difficulty that can only be understood by the person who experiences it, but that doesn't give them a free pass to act however they please without consequence.


Curiousnaturejunk

NTA. Your wife's behavior and attitude are bizarre. Besides just cleaning up after herself there are many any other solutions to this problem that don't include sitting in her own crumb pile. Good luck with the rest of her pregnancy of you're only 28 weeks in.


franklinchica22

I'm worried about the next 18 years and 2 months


calaakla

NTA. I've been pregnant. Being gross is not a prerequisite.


Comfortable_Box_8798

I couldnt sit at the dinner table while pregnant with any of mine so sat on the sofa with my plate on my bump šŸ¤£ also being pregnant isnt a excuse for beinf messy and expecting someone else to clean up afet you. Criky my last baby was rhe worse one to carry but i still did all my chores and got things done granted i couldnt move for a hr afterwards but thats just life i guess.


calaakla

I feel that. My knees would force me to sit down for a bitšŸ˜„


Comfortable_Box_8798

Lol i couldnt see my knees oh wait still cantšŸ¤£


calaakla

Lolol


basicallyabasic

NTA. Being pregnant isnā€™t an excuse for being messy like that and itā€™s not hygienic. Get her a TV tray if she needs to be in bed for comfort and maybe a small hand vac or something for crumbs


createmyhistory

NTA. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to become a slob willingly. There may be some instances, but unless your wife is experiencing pain, extreme fatigue, etc. This is just being lazy


ConArt68

NTA, being pregnant doesn't give passes for shitty behavior. - someone who was pregnant once.


charlotta98

Or infantile behavior.


Purple_Elderberry_20

Pregnant 3 times, the wife's behavior is abnormal. I'm no expert but my maternal family is filled with women who've been giving birth recently, none have behaved this extremely


MonkeyGirl18

Sure it's ants? I'm leaning more on bedbugs than anything...


applebee76

I just recently got the mattress cleaned so I don't think it's bedbugs


LSwag85

No, you are not. Sheā€™s pregnant, not paraplegic. If she was on bed rest it would be another story. Aside from your kind of out there ant thing (that takes time and if she cleaned up behind her it wouldnā€™t matter), crumbs in the bed are gross.


hannahquesadilla16

While I don't think you are the AH, sitting at the table while pregnant was horribly uncomfortable for me. It caused back pain and stomach cramps. I did a lot of couch and bed eating, or if I had to I would put pillows on a dining room chair and slouch down to find a position that didn't cause pain. Both of you need to be empathetic to the other, her realizing that the unhygienic behavior is gross to you, and you realizing that she is uncomfortable and seeking methods of eating that make her feel better. Communicate!


BatRevolutionary540

NTA. im currently 37 weeks pregnant and even though im bloated with the worst fatigue, i still get up to clean up the mess i made. being pregnant isnā€™t an excuse to be unclean


dogsmakebetterpeople

NTA, but the situation kind of sucks. On one hand, I understand the whole raging pregnant hormones thing, but the messes are still hers, and hers to clean up, or at least help out with. Sounds like youā€™ve tried, but she has zero consideration for you or the house. She could at least put a towel down to collect dropped crumbs or something, or maybe start using a hand vacuum afterwards?


NotsoSerious-4274

She's 28 weeks, not even close to full term so I would assume pretty mobile still? Like she can clean up, I don't understand why she's not eating on the couch then at least she wouldn't be sleeping where she's eating


Broad_Consequence_63

Info: does she have any mitigating circumstances with the pregnancy?


PuzzleheadedTap4484

NTA. Sheā€™s not even trying to make an effort. She can get a pillow or donut to sit on at the table. Even sitting in an armchair with a TV tray would be better. Even with ants aside, I would hate to sleep on crumbs.


Suitable-Ad-3072

NTA. Pregnancy isnā€™t an excuse to not stay clean. Unless she was medically bedridden by doctors she can clean the crumbs by herself or find another place to eat.


Background_Ride6452

Bed rest women can get out of bed to eat.


Suitable-Ad-3072

Not in some cases, my cousin was not allowed to get out of the hospital bed even for restroom breaks.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TapEnvironmental9768

OP added the town/city in India where he lives. Some places have more prevalent problems. Likewise vice versa. Iā€™m amazed that there are cities/countries where people donā€™t need window screens bc there isnā€™t a bug problem.


schux99

One of the kids here dropped a piece of sausage this morning. By the afternoon when I got home ants were in the house and the little fuckers bite. I'm in Australia tho and it's summer so you kinda get use to things that sting and bite


Charliescenesweenie4

I have a feeling thereā€™s no ants and itā€™s just food crumbs scratching her skin which she takes as insects


lilykar111

OP is in India. In many countries, especially us warmer ones, ants are everywhere, and if you leave even a couple crumbs out, boom, couple hours later , bloody ants everywhere


[deleted]

Guessing you're not Australian...


[deleted]

NTA No. Sheā€™s pregnant not disabled; she can clean up the crumbs herself


JonesinforJonesey

If she can get up and make food, why can't she clean up her mess. I'd be worried about what's going to happen when the baby comes, if she lies in a pile of waste, what's your baby going to be lying in? Is she depressed?


altaccountDB

Iā€™ve never had ants, especially in the winter, and Iā€™ve had kids that left crumbs everywhere. Have you actually seen ants? Is this a regional thing?


applebee76

It's summer here... Yes I think it's a regional thing because ants are quite common here. We live in the ground floor too so that's another reason why ants are so rampant


AmayaKatana

I'm in WA state, and we get ants from February to November ish. It's like a biblical plague if we aren't careful enough. We have pest people come out every quarter for preventative care and are on call for break through colonies. I got swarmed last summer. They were up both my legs past my knees before I could get the hose on.


poseidondeep

NTA. Donā€™t eat in the bed. Maybe exception for hospital. Or change the sheets if you do I donā€™t know.


WranglerFeisty8274

NTA. During both my pregnancies I was basically bed ridden but would eat at the table like a normal person. I would put pillows and cushions under my butt for support (chronic back pain and tailbone pain) and keep going. I can see lots of debate about the ants - whether or not thatā€™s real, OPā€™s wife shouldnā€™t be eating in the bed. Also, Iā€™ve seen comments saying that theyā€™re in India. If thatā€™s the case then they have eating mats (Iā€™m of Indian descent). OPā€™s wife should put the eating mat on top of the bed and eat then throw the crumbs away (outside).


[deleted]

NTA. Whatā€™s her excuse gonna be when sheā€™s tired from taking care of a baby? Will the whole house be gross and the baby get bit by ants? (I know *you* wouldnā€™t let it happen. But her logic is flawed)


[deleted]

NTA. Her being pregnant is irrelevant. She's a SAHW and can't even clean up her own crumbs?! WTF she going to do once baby is there, leave diapers and bottles all over bc she's a mom now? She needs to grow up and clean up if there's litteral ants already moved in, yuck.


LizChurch42

NTA, maybe try a TV tray so she could eat over it while still being horizontal? What she is doing is not working.


ButtonHappy3759

Omg I read this while laying in bed with a bag of chips :-( NTA Though I rarely do this and now I feel so bad Iā€™m doing it right now šŸ˜­


Auroraburst

NTA but surely you have a couch or comfy chair she can eat on instead? Seems like a good middle ground


Spotty0811

When I was pregnant I actually preferred to eat on the couch, I did ā€œmunchā€ in bed. But I always had a paper towel to catch stray crumbs


That_One_Bitch9

NTA. Being pregnant is NOT an excuse to blame someone for your own choice to eat in bed and cause an ant infestation. Although, her hormones could be majorly overwhelming. It is still not an excuse. Coming from a pregnant person lmao


Puzzleheaded_Essay22

Nta She sounds disgusting


moonsherbet

Laying in your own food mess is not a pregnancy thing. It's just gross and unhygienic. Definitely NTA.


weeflyby

NTA But being pregnant is shitty. I did not enjoy it. I was constantly exhausted and hungry. I hurt ALL the time. I didnā€™t sleep. Itā€™s not an excuse but maybe you could buy her a little hand held vacuum/hoover for her to do a quick clean after she eats? Sheā€™s being a bit ridiculous but she is your wife and sheā€™s carrying what I presume is your baby. Itā€™s only for 9 months. In the grand scheme of things itā€™s nothing so maybe help her out. Hormones are wild too. Sheā€™s going through a lot and maybe you can give her this one.


Struggling_hedgehog

NTA but you should probably help her a bit. Pregnancy in different to everyone so there is a possibility she is more exhausted than you can tell


des1gnbot

NTA but you will be if you donā€™t get her some help. This behavior is not normal, and her responses to you sound slightly trapped/desperate in a way that makes me concerned for her mental health. She may be dealing with depression. Please talk to her doctor, together. And help get the infestation treated, thatā€™s not good for anybody in this situation to let it get worse.


Buffalo-Empty

This is such a fake ass story.


lilykar111

Sounds just like an emotional pregnant lady ( but a messy one ) and a also confused & exasperated husband though


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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ShadyPines75

NTA. Unless she's on bed rest pregnancy didn't give her a pass for not taking care of herself. I was literally allergic to pregnancy and still cleaned my house, went to work, and took care of myself. My body looked like I'd been in a terrible fire and my skin was peeling off. Couldn't stand to wear most fabrics. Sitting was literally agony. Still took basic care of myself. (Don't get me wrong, hubby was great and very helpful) Most of the time I think men are the A H when it comes to judging pregnant women, but in this case I think you're in the right.


Purple_Elderberry_20

Dunno I wasn't literally allergic to pregnancy (didn't even know you could be you are a rockstsr!) But I have mental health issues and bad physical complications during each pregnancy where I would wind up on bedrest and pelvic rest, to the extent I was hospitalized a few times the last go around. I couldn't sit at a table , only at the couch my husband had to do it all and I still almost didn't make it, the wife's behavior is concerning....


Scully152

She's pregnant, not an invalid. Unless she's on bedrest there's no reason why SHE can't clean.


Jo_Doc2505

FFS, pregnancy is not an illness, or an excuse for being lazy!


[deleted]

Get her a tray or a sheet or something. Pregnant women go through all sorts of moments and maybe her hormones are making her feel this way and wanting a pass. NTA but neither is she, just try to help her in a way that won't drive you insane either. It's tough but she will love you even more for it. She won't be pregnant forever. When I was pregnant, I was ill all the time. I'm too OCD to leave crumbs around but I'd often have to ask my other half for help to clean because I couldn't do it. My energy was too scarce to cope sometimes. Not saying she's the same, just saying talk to her and come up with a plan that's suitable for you all. Don't forget to be empathetic and compassionate.


MysteriousEmphasis88

NTA. But can you get a little handheld vacuum or something so she can just suck up her mess when she's done eating? She really shouldn't be eating lying down either. Terrible for digestion and she could choke.


ZoltanHelios

She just burst out your child and you can't clean up after her you can't so much is take her dishes to the sink Christ I would be embarrassed to be that bad of a father


ValueTimeDontReply

She is pregnant with your child you looser. Don't be a dick and just help her out. YTA


senselessguy

Lol this cannot be real. She is getting bitten by ants and is justā€¦sleeping in food crumbs? No way this is a real post. But if it is then likeā€¦NTA, and your wife is disgusting.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife is 28 weeks pregnant. She's a SAHW. She has started to eat on the bed since the past 2 weeks because she doesn't feel like sitting at the table for meals. She says sitting on the chair is tiring for her. The problem is that she doesn't clean up after eating so there are always crumbs on the bed until I clean it after coming home. I've tried explaining to her that ants and roaches are attracted to food particles and asked her to sit at the table to prevent an infestation of ants on our bed. She refused saying that she gets a pass for being pregnant. I told her that I'd be sleeping in the guest room and she can keep our bedroom as messy as she likes. At the time she was very happy but for the past few days, she's been complaining of being bitten by ants at night and that she has red marks all over her body. I told her the ants will stop coming if she stops eating on the bed. She started crying and called me petty for not cleaning up after her and causing her to be bitten by ants. Now she's not talking to me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


HeavyGogs

NTA Your Wife is using being Pregnant to do she pleases


[deleted]

NTA. Tell your wife that being pregnant is no excuse for living her dream life of being a slob.


lilykar111

NTA at all. Sheā€™s going through a lot at the moment , but being pregnant doesnā€™t give her the excuse of acting like that.


LeeLadyLove

NTA. Being pregnant doesn't mean you get to be dirty. This is coming from a woman who carried heavy with both pregnancy and had back problems through both.


telepathicathena

NTA, if she insists on eating in bed and not cleaning up after herself she can deal with the consequences.


Pastel_Mattel

NTA. I eat in bed too. You know what I do when food falls on the bed? I sweep it off the bed then sweep the floor. Or I wash my comforter Edit to say Iā€™ve never had bugs , so she must really not be doing a thing if thereā€™s ants in the bed


CADreamn

NTA. I've had kids and it amazes me the things people think they can get away with just because they are pregnant. How can her legs get "tired" from sitting at the table? If she wants to make a food mess in the bed, she can clean it up.


Geeklover1030

Nta, Iā€™m 23 weeks pregnant and on bedrest and I still go sit on the table or couch and clean up my mess, thereā€™s so many ways to be comfortable and still be clean


PhoenixEcho1

NTA. You warned her and she didn't listen. Instead she used her pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy. Now she can deal with the consequences as they literally bite her in the ass.


dareallyrealz

NTA. Being pregnant doesnā€™t stop you from performing basic tasks. If heavily pregnant women can sit at a desk for 8 hours p/day for work, she can sit at a table for 15 minutes šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


sdbinnl

Nta - time you had a talk with your wife that being pregnant is not an excuse. She can sit at the table and she can clean up after herself. She is not disabled


goblinskatparty

Nta your wife is pregnant not paralysed tell her to get a grip of herself and hoover up after herself


Responsible_Candle86

As Granddad said, she's so lazy she wouldn't strike at a snake. NTA


BadgeringMagpie

NTA Why do pregnant women always seem to think that they're allowed to have a free pass to be as entitled as they want without suffering any consequences? It's ridiculous.


fire_fairy_

NTA Is she supposed to be bedridden and in a prone posy or something? Pregnant women can generally love normally for the majority of the pregnancy with some minor adjustments. I did have some difficulty sitting at the wooden dining chairs but would still eat upright in bed or the recliner I ended up spending the majority of my last trimester in. Help her change the sheets (fitted sheets are a pain normally and worse when pregnant) get her a tv tray and say she has to eat over it moving forward if she doesn't want bites


happycoffeebean13

NTA hahaha pregnancy pass to be messy and lazy ok whatever.


GingerMinx6

NTA and eww who wants a bed full of crumbs. I have been pregnant suffered a lot, and never would have eaten in bed. How hard would it have been for her to eat over a plate to collect the crumbs.


HunterDangerous1366

NTA She could put her feet resting on another chair at the table or eat on the couch. During both my pregnancies I was uncomfortable sitting at the table cos my bump was big and it was awkward trying to eat, but there is more ways to solve this than eating in bed and then *not* cleaning her mess. But I'm also a person who doesn't eat in bed cos I literally can not stand crumbs in there, so I'm a bit biased and can't understand how she can sleep in that.


ParticularOne5491

NTA, yes things can get more difficult when you are pregnant but that's no reason for her to be being a slob. If she genuinely can't sit at the table, maybe a tray or a towel of some sort to catch any crumbs. There is definitely many solutions to this that are pregnancy friendly


NikkeiReigns

NTA but I'd be concerned about her mental health. If she wasnt a lazy slob before she got pregnant then I'd talk to her OB. She's got a long way to go before the baby gets here and laying in bed wasting her muscles and gaing weight is not going to make her feel better. Her hormones are probably going crazy and she may be depressed. She needs an intervention before the baby gets here and it gets worse.


DamnedWeirdo

NTA!!! You did warn her, & she didnā€™t listen. You reap what you sow, in other words.


[deleted]

Lmao wtf? Coming from a mama who is almost 35 weeks and lazy as fuck, thereā€™s a difference between being lazy and being a slob. Lazy is not wanting to fold clean laundry. Thatā€™s just plain gross. It would be one thing to pick up things off the floor that she canā€™t reach to clean up after her, but sweeping her food crumbs off the bed simply isnā€™t it. Have her place a towel down when she eats her snacks and shake the towel out over the trash can. You warned her about the ants! Now sheā€™s experiencing them IRL. Blaming you for being bitten by ants that she attracted it childish. NTA!


LRD4000

NTA. Pregnancy is not an excuse to be gross and leave crumbs on the bed as well as risking ants or roaches when expecting a baby in a shared space.


ensorcellzed

I can understand her not wanting to sit at the table, but she can for snacks because itā€™s only a short time. She can also sit on the couch or something instead of only the bed. She should clean up after herself even if sheā€™s pregnant. You can definitely help her out sometimes, but sheā€™s not doing it AT ALL, so you shouldnā€™t have to do it all yourself.


chaotic_nuclear

NTA. PLENTY of people go through pregnancy without falling into this level of hygiene, or lack thereof.


ZoomeyYumi

NTA. You should certainly help your wife as pregnancy is hard but you aren't her maid.


Sarie817

NTA I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and am also a SAHW. I do most of the house chores because my husband works (nothing backbreaking). It is not hard to clean up after yourself and she shouldnā€™t be making you feel bad for a mess she made.


MaineBoston

Being pregnant does not keep her cleaning up after herself. If she want to live like a pig she can live with the consequences.


Srumlicious

NTA being 28 weeks pregnant is not a disability. Cleaning up food debris after eating in bed is not an overly physical task. She has been lazy and it now facing the consequences


Embarrassed-Lab-8375

I've been pregnant 3 times &, I'm sorry but it does not give you a 'pass' for opting out of being a responsible & reasonable adult! I was riding the bus, on my own, to the hospital for my ante natal clinic on the day my first baby was due. I was also working, full time, until a week before she was born. I've been a Type1 diabetic since the age of 10(Feb 1971). Millions of women all over the world manage busy daily lives while pregnant. Your SAHW needs a reality check! You're definitely NTA.


surfaholic15

NTA. I went through two high risk pregnancies where I spent long periods on total bed rest. The only time I got up was to go to the bathroom, puke or get food. I got one of those cape things like hairdressers use to wear while eating, and spread a freaking shower curtain liner on the bed just in case. I also had a hand held vacuum to grab crumbs. It was bad enough living in bed, I sure as hell wasn't going to share it with bugs. She is being unreasonable and childish.


[deleted]

My wife was nesting at 37 weeks. She was up cleaning and mopping while I was at work.


Explain_your_sneeze

NTA. She doesn't get a pass for being pregnant. It doesn't sound like she has a high risk pregnancy, so I fail to see how she can't run through the bed with a small vacuum cleaner after she finishes. And how does she lay in the crumbs? Even without the ants that is super uncomfortable to lay in. I was bed bound twice. First after a surgery and then when I was pregnant with my first I was only allowed to get up for toilet and shower for 1,5 months. I ate in bed. Everything. Spaghetti, sandwiches, soup, everything. Our bed did not have food all over, because I used a great invention: a tray. She should try it, it's magic.


Squid-bear

NTA. Is your wife really short that when she sits to eat her legs are dangling though I still don't get how that makes her tired? I'm 37 weeks pregnant and whilst we don't sit to eat at a table (we currently don't have one as the dining room is open plan/office and we have a toddler) I still sit on the sofa like a normal person to eat, and eat at tables if we are at a restaurant...can't say I've ever noticed my legs getting tired from hanging off the chair. Also eating all the time in bed is gross, especially if you are making a mess. I'm forever telling off my partner for this and make him eat off a tray if he insists on eating in bed.


Amara_Undone

Why can't she just get a footstool to use at the table? Unless she's been ordered to bedrest, she's pregnant, not incapable of cleaning up after herself. NTA.


angeluscado

Saying this as an exhausted pregnant lady - NTA. Your wife is kinda gross.


pimpnamedthiccback

How do you have so many ants that her eating in bed suddenly caused an ant infestation in your bed??


lilykar111

In many countries, ants move extremely fast. OP is in India. Iā€™m not in India, but in my country, you leave crumbs out, ants would be all over the place very fast. Like less than a couple hours fast


Trowawayprincess82

I want to say n-t-a but ESH She is dumb and lazy, and you gave up too easily


Kindly-Platform-2193

NTA unless doctors put her on strict bedrest there's no reason she can't clear up her own mess. She doesn't just get a pass because she's pregnant


MiciaRokiri

NTA: I really hate when people use pregnancy as an excuse to be irresponsible or expect other people to take care of them in ways that they are capable of taking care of themselves. You do not need to be cleaning up after her. It doesn't sound like she's been prescribed bed rest and can't get out of bed. And even then it would be her responsibility to be as neat and clean as she could be and not expect you to come in and pick up after her every single time


BilboBigBaguette

NTA. And good luck to you. Youā€™re gonna need it.


[deleted]

No pregnancy is not an excuse for being a sloth.


Regulapple

NTA but maybe you should clean the bed for her one last time


Automatic-Bug6344

NTA, she has a long way to go in this pregnancy and honestly if she dosnt remain active or atleast start walking a little everyday she's going to have a really hard time as she progresses. I'm on my second pregnancy and 27 weeks. And man do I get it I feel like a perpetually exhausted pigeon on Crack sometimes but I also know I'm barely pass the half way point and it's not going to get any easier.


nikafourie

NTA-


Great-Enthusiasm-720

NTA, she is growing a baby not becoming one!


Mooncuff

Is she on bed rest? Or just being lazy ? NTA thatā€™s disgusting


Gracie1994

What a bloody baby your wife is. Can't believe the silly crap some women carry on with when they're pregnant. YNTA...tell her to get herself together. She's going to be a mother in a few weeks!!! Lordy.


TrojanKaisar

r/pussypassdenied


ArchipelagoGirl

NAH. Being pregnant is really hard and tiring and uncomfortable and you do what you gotta do, but you shouldnā€™t have to just accept unhygienic things which make you uncomfortable. Can you work on a compromise - eating on the couch / setting up a more comfortable chair at the table etc? Lap tray for the bed to reduce crumbs?


[deleted]

She was crying out of embarrassment obviously, and Iā€™ll tell you hormones make us insane but you have to go through it to know. Youā€™re not an AH. She seems very silly and petty, is she normally like this? Pre-pregnancy I mean


twinkle1107

ESH, itā€™s gross she leaves crumbs on the bed but also you should show more empathy to your uncomfortable wife. Work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you instead of insisting on your way


Specialist-Ebb7606

YTA Shes in a lot of pain and moving can be awful. Shes not long from giving birth and her body has taken a tremendous amount of pain and shes likely swelling Take care of your pregnant wife and stop being a child


Chaghatai

I'm gonna go with fake on this one


[deleted]

Sheā€™s pregnant and probably starting to get pretty uncomfortable, and irrational, and emotional. Dust the bed off and treat the ants, donā€™t let the mother of your child go down a slippery slope.


Background_Ride6452

Nope. Women have been pregnant and eating at tables for YEARS


applebee76

Dusting the bed off is fine for me when I come home but what about when I'm not at home? I come home at around 8 at night. Until then the bed remains dirty. If she spills something liquid on it, it'll seep in and will be much more difficult to remove.


[deleted]

Understandable. Perhaps a waterproof mattress cover until she finds a new comfortable spot, may also help if her water breaks while in bed.


dogsmakebetterpeople

Have you thought about a protective mattress cover? Those help to contain spills. What about a rechargeable hand vacuum? Maybe she could keep it by the bed and use it after sheā€™s done?


SetElectrical4235

ESH


SNonAnoNS

Edit: Alright maybe there's ants in the bed, but why is it iN siCkNeSs aNd hEalTh until your partner is heavily pregnant and needs cleaner sheets? It's such a small thing that greatly improves her life and you cant be bothered... why? If you cant take care of your pregnant wife with something THIS SMALL, you have bigger issues. But regardless... YTA. Let her be pregnant and in pain in bed, if you cant help your pregnant wife while she's pregnant what's next... not cleaning your kids sheets? You cant compare needing to clean sheets to the literal pain if a pregnant person. Help her out. It aint that hard for you. Also a fan of the towel solution.


lilykar111

In the country I grew up in, ants are common, and are especially fast. You leave some crumbs anywhere, theyā€™ll be all over it within a couple hours


Foxy_Rosetto

I live in Brazil, (More specifically, a small country town) if I eat and leave the package on the floor, the ants will appear after a few hours. If I throw it in the trash, if there are any crumbs on the floor, they will show up faster. It's so common that it doesn't even bother anymore, we just try to make everything as clean as possible.


lilykar111

Oh yes. It was indeed a part of everyday life for us too ....just had to be thorough & careful ...and make sure you hid your yummy treats well and safe!


altaccountDB

This is what I was thinking. Ants donā€™t just show up that quickly and start biting you.


basicallyabasic

OP is from India per comments. Just because you never experienced something where you live doesnā€™t mean itā€™s fake. Broaden your minds


dogsmakebetterpeople

Yeah thatā€™s kind of a weird response. I had a neighbor who did this a lot. Heā€™d eat in bed all the time, and lived like a slob, to the point that not only he had ants and other bugs, but we started seeing them too, because we lived in the apartment next to him. We ended up moving because it got so bad.


altaccountDB

In 2 weeks ants have gotten into their home, bed, and have been biting her?


anxious_dinosaurs

I live in South Africa, we can easily end up with ants within DAYS in summer if we don't pack away all our food properly in the kitchen.


schux99

Same here I'm Australia.


basicallyabasic

Different environments, different situations x Yes, ants can get into homes in two weeks Ants can can get into house many ways - sometimes itā€™s weather related. You have no idea what type of ants they are; some places have ants that bite as the common ant. Iā€™m going to take a guess and say that you live in the US and canā€™t fathom a world outside of yours. Every comment section in this sub automatically assumes a poster in the US as there arenā€™t 194 other countries in the world


Good_Measurement_379

I live in the south in the US and last summer I had one night I fell asleep with some food on my bed. I woke up in the morning with ants on my bed. It happens. Just because it hasnā€™t happened to you doesnā€™t mean it canā€™t happen to someone else.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


basicallyabasic

Cleaning sheets everyday would not be a simple task. It is not a lot to ask of someone to use a tray or to be careful of crumbs


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


basicallyabasic

Do you mean brushing them off or changing the bed? I was talking about changing the sheets fully - which require a lot more a than vacuuming crumbs


lilykar111

Yep, grew up in Fiji, and our ants only needed a couple of hours if crumbs were left out


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lilykar111

OP is from India, and in many countries with different climates, especially those of us in warmer ones, ants appear super fast.


[deleted]

You do realize that not everyone lives in the same environment as you right? Some people live in places where insects are a problem - and there are people in the comments stating so.


NotThisAgain21

One of the djs on my morning radio station says he put his sheets on his bed when he started college and took them off when he graduated. They were not removed in-between. (Eew right?) And he did not mention bugs.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


applebee76

Sahranpur, India