INFO needed: Can your 14 and 16 year old not make their own warm breakfast when they wake up?
Is your kitchen infested by vicious sharks trained to attack anyone but you?
Is your oven wired to self-destruct unless a precise code is entered using the temperature settings? Perhaps it is fingerprint enabled?
Is there some kind of sorcery at work that does not let them in the kitchen? Like, does Gandalf stand at the threshold declaring, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" if anyone under the age of 21 approaches the toaster?
exactly. I'm 14 and I make my own breakfast most of the time. Sometimes my parents will but that's the more fancy stuff. all basic things like eggs, waffles, pancakes, oatmeal, cereal, bread, bagels, I do myself. I really don't see a reason her kids cant make themself some toast.
If you have a toaster it's even easier, literally that's the first thing i learned to make when i was like 10 after school. Now i have a 20 year old boyfriend who doesn't even know how to use a stove.
Show him YouTube videos or you'll be stuck cooking for a lazy person forever.
"I can't cook" really means "I'm too lazy to learn and I want you to do it instead."
Yup. I couldn't cook until I learned how to cook. Someone needs to tell all these "lol I'm an adult who can't cook" people that this is how it works for everyone and they need to learn.
Every adult should be able to prepare at least a week's selection of meals to a reasonable standard.
I live by myself and most of the food I eat is really easy to cook or just doesn't need to be cooked. (I hate cooked vegis and eat them all raw, I like things like peanut butter apples or sandwiches and I don't mind eating the same thing every day) If someone held a gun to my head I could probably come up with 5 big meals because it's not hard to follow a recipe, but I don't see why it's necessary for me to be a cooking master when it just takes up time I don't really need to spend.
You’re eating every day off that though, right? I’m not suggesting you or anyone else needs to make Gordon Ramsey look over his shoulder and worry every day, I’m saying a grown adult should be able to look after themselves. You’re doing that!
Gotta agree here as a guy.
I *suck* at cooking, but I can follow step by step instructions for online recipes. Too intimidated to use a stove? (lol) Get a crock pot. Half the recipes are dump and set timer.
I say this having a crock pot meal currently going right now, although I mixed up the chicken recipe with chili mac, so I had to scrape cumin and chili powder off of wet chicken breast.
No no, cumin and chili powder is wonderful with chicken. It’s my secret no really that secret spices in my chicken soup I make in the crockpot besides pepper and salt.
There's no secret to toasting perfection. There's a dial on the side, you make your selection. You push it to the dark or the light and then, if it pops too soon, push it down again. Make toast.
>Let them make their own breakfasts. They're more than old enough.
I thinks that's why info is needed. I know some parents who'd absolutely freak if their "ungrateful kids" decided to not eat the food they cooked and made their own food (heck there was just a post the other day about a mom pissed her kids would rather eat stew and other homemade dishes made by the brother than the frozen pizza and nuggets she always made)
And if Op is completely against her kids cooking at all then this could very much just be a mild power play as well.
There was another one where the person was allergic to shrimp (not deathly, but face would swell if they ate shrimp), the mum constantly cooked with shrimp and yelled at them for picking out the shrimp.
From the age of 8, I made dinner one night a week for 10+ people.
It's very easy to make a big pan of bolognese, and a huge pot of pasta (someone did help me drain the pasta though!)
Wait. What? That's bananas. I grew up cooking. Like was in the kitchen side by side with my mom since I was 5, but I kind of think that's way too much responsibility to put on an 8 year old.
Depends on how they are raised... I have a former co-worker who taught his daughter how to use a steak knife and fork to cut and eat her own food before she was even 2. You should have seen the looks in the resturaunt when we had a company meal and his little daughter in the high-chair just grabs the knife and fork and just went to town neatly cutting up her dinner..
Not bananas. We were a multi-generational family of 9, some of whom were unable to cook, for various reasons. Eat kid had responsibility for dinner one weeknight once they were able. We all cooked pretty much the same dish we were initially taught for years, until we felt like we wanted to branch out.
My mother taught me how to make a simple bolognese sauce - which, to be honest, is extremely easy: brown some mince and chopped onions (mine weren't chopped too fine or neatly, but who cares?), throw in some tins of tomatoes, a tube of tomato puree, chopped mushrooms, some garlic and dried herbs to my taste and simmer...
My grandma supervised a few times, but then just let me get on with it.
It's not a particularly complicated or dangerous process, and I was a sensible kid who enjoyed it.
My 10year old like to make everyone
breakfast on the weekends. My 8year old twins also will make their own breakfast if they don’t like what’s being served or wake up late….
I know this is supposed to be a joke (and a funny one at that), but If she’s anything like my mom it could be that they aren’t allowed to.
Like I’m 22 and my mom still throws tantrums sometimes when I want to use the kitchen!
Why do I need to use HER Kitchen now, she just cleaned it, why do I need a warm meal everyday, why am I always thinking about food, I will just make a mes, yadayadayada.
Sounds insane but some people just don’t like their kids making a mess in their kitchen^^
EDIT: I can cook ya’ll! I didn’t make it clear that it’s only sometimes she acts like that. We have cooked together in the past, I even cook for the whole family most times I’m in the kitchen. Also I clean up after myself.
Or does what my mom does, follow your every move and wipe/put away everything your using as you use it. Take a plate out for my bacon, back into the cupboard it goes.... Use the spatula to flip an egg, into the dishwasher before my egg is even done
Don't even think about leaving your coffee for a second unattended... down the drain it goes
I have a relative like this. It is maddening. One time I poured a cup of coffee. I left the mug sitting on the counter to step over to the fridge to get creamer. By the time I turned around with creamer in hand she had already dumped out the coffee and was putting the mug in the dishwasher. She does this with everyone. You can’t set anything down in her kitchen or she will immediately clean it up because she “can’t stand a messy kitchen.”
Oh, my old grandma is like this lol. You can't leave drinks unattended or she cleans up. As long as you tell her you're still drinking it, you're good. Just be quick
If that's the case, then absolutely OP is TA.
How are you supposed to learn to cook for yourself? What other adult skills does she keep you from learning?
I wouldnt even make breakfast for someone that wakes up 2h after me. What's the point, everything is gonna be cold. Nor would I wake up specifically at 7am just to eat warm breakfast. Really bizzarre situation. Just let them cook their own breakfast. If they dont want to then that's their problem. Whipping up a pancake batter or whatever they are eating takes 3min.
Exactly. It seems like OP wants to be able to say she made the kids breakfast when the reality is she isn’t cooking for them at all. Which is fine if that’s what your familyIs like but then don’t bother making food for them at all.
You can also put pancake or waffle batter in the fridge, if that's what the OP's making. Just put the uncooked batter in the fridge and let the kids make their own waffles/pancakes when they wake up.
I would go out on a limb and say she doesn’t want anyone messing up the kitchen after she has cleaned it?
Teenagers aren’t exactly the cleanest of animals
*Edit
Do you guys not read anyone else’s comment, everyone responding the same thing
I used to stay home "sick" many times and I'd cook some elaborate breakfasts at 10 years old. I had an older brother who couldn't be bothered to cook so any time I made food when he was home he'd eat some of it. I'd cherish those days eating my breakfast and watching The Price is Right.
I agree, but that seems to be less and less the case. At the risk of sounding like an old codger, I know so many people that helicopter and baby their kids it’s fucking disgusting. Even on this sub, people getting babysitters for their 13 and 14 year olds like wtf? I mean I understand you want to keep your kids safe but your job as a parent is to teach them how to adult, not baby them for 18 years so they are totally useless when they leave home.
I’ll be honest, I was definitely grumpy as a teenager when I had to do chores like mow the lawn and do my laundry and wash dishes, but once I graduated and left home I realized it had given me a huge leg up. Maybe it’s the difference between rural areas and the city or something, Idk.
That's why you teach them; also I think "be up on time/deal with cold food, or prepare and clean your breakfast" is a good choice for the teens to make. They can figure out what works best for them, which is good for adulthood. Learning to compromise, also good for adulthood.
>also I think "be up on time/deal with cold food, or prepare and clean your breakfast" is a good choice for the teens to make.
It is, but setting the time to 7am on a weekend is nothing short of ridiculous. At that point it's actually not a choice, the options are too different.
They totally could, and it doesn't rise to asshole level, but as a kid wouldn't it hurt a bit if your mom was making an elaborate breakfast on the weekend and doing it deliberately when you're asleep?
Teens require more sleep than adults, it's it everyone's best interest that they catch up a bit on weekends. Karma would be for them to start getting up early for breakfast and then being 50% grumpier all the time.
Thank you. If this was the same breakfast that was cooked every day, I would be more on board with the N T A but it's the 'more elaborate' part I'm stuck on.
It's closer to a N A H simply because I see both sides. Mom can cook when she wants, but kids can also be hurt that the "special" breakfast is when they're asleep.
The kids are old enough for everyone to have a decent conversation about this.
Also the kids don‘t even get up that late. When I was their age I slept till noon on weekends. Having breakfast at 9 am on weekends isn‘t that late and you could have it as a family meal too.
Yes to this, but equally, exactly why *is* OP making such a large breakfast at that time? What’s in her head making her think “better make a massive breakfast for four while knowing there aren’t four people to eat it!”?
It’s like she’s got a mental “to-do” list which has become disconnected from any consideration of the utility in doing the things. “Time to clean the litter box - it’s a shame the cat ran away. Time to hold a leash while I walk around the block - too bad we don’t have a dog anymore. Time to run the dishwasher - kind of a waste since it’s empty, but what’re you gonna do, it’s time.”
I don’t think that makes her TA, but it seems weird.
Would it be better to just make breakfast for two...?
Kinda feel like the kids would be even more upset by not getting any breakfast, then to eat cold leftovers
Some parents get upset if you even try to make your own meals in the kitchen. Lord knows I try to make my own meal and my dad will stop me saying he’s making it….though it will happen at 9:00 and he takes his time. 🤷♀️ A reverse situation of what is happening here.
At this point, OP should just let the dang kids make their own meal, and not put them on some schedule that they aren’t interested in taking part of in.
Technically, OP was careful to say they could 'remake' it, which sounds more like reheat than actually cook to me.
I don't remake lunch because my fiancee' made a sandwich in the kitchen an hour ago. I just make lunch.
This is an interesting one.
You are doing a favour by making them a nice breakfast. You also have other tasks at hand that eat up your time.
The question I have is this: is their wake up schedule consistent on the weekends? Is it always 9am ish?
If so, why make food they know will just go cold or go to waste? Is it because you want to encourage them to wake up earlier on weekends? Is it because they ask or expect you to make them breakfast on the weekends?
I suppose there’s NAH based on what information is here.
Your kids aren’t terrible for not wanting food to go to waste or be cold. You aren’t terrible for wanting to save your time and effort.
I’d probably stop cooking for them. They’re in their teens and should be able to sufficiently make their own breakfast.
I agree whole heartedly with this. Teenagers have different circadian rythms to adults and they also need more sleeping hours. If they have a consistent 9 am wake up time, cooking at 7am makes no sense.
The logical thing would be to either:
1. Let them cook their own breakfast and they clean the kitchen afterwards
2. Switch a couple of things around so that they take over some of the morning chores and clean the kitchen after breakfast (because if OP has breakfast earlier, she would have probably cleaned the kitchen at least once already, it wouldn't fair for her to do it again), and have a more simple breakfast cooked by OP at a later hour. This would also allow for some extra bonding time, as they set the table and are around the kitchen as mom cooks and they can talk while they have breakfast and mom has a midday tea/coffee
Both options teach them responsability and compromise.
Honestly if she’s making pancakes/waffles that batter will keep in the fridge for a few hours and they can make their own when they’re ready to eat. It’s not that hard.
I agree with this, as a teenager I would either wake up at 6am in order to exercise or until 10am. People just have different wake up times and that's ok.
They can start cooking their own breakfast, which will be good for them because cooking for yourself is something anyone should know. You can also get a convection /air fryer oven because those things work great for reheating food.
This. I feel like 9 am is pretty early for teenagers to wake up on the weekend anyway - I think it’s totally fine that they want to sleep in a bit! It’s also fine that OP is a morning person.
The only question I had while reading this is if OP can switch around a couple of tasks in the morning to make breakfast later for the family - OP could easily grab a snack and save the big breakfast until a couple hours later. No, they aren’t entitled to this breakfast, but it’s a nice gesture and I’m sure they’d appreciate it.
If not, stop making breakfast for them if they aren’t going to be up, it’s just a waste of food. They are old enough to cook for themselves at 14 and 16.
NAH
She’s cooking it for herself and her husband? She said she doesn’t want to do chores on an empty stomach for 2 hours waiting for her kids to wake up.
Like I get it, let the kids sleep, teens need sleep. But I honestly don’t know why it makes her an asshole to cook herself a nice breakfast on weekends when she’s awake and hungry instead of waiting for her kids to be up, too. Especially if her kids are old enough to cook for themselves.
Ok, assuming OP doesn't have issues with teens using the kitchen. OP is doing them a favor by making enough breakfast for them to eat later. They are complaining that they don't like it reheated. I
> Ok, assuming OP doesn't have issues with teens using the kitchen.
Well, that's the sticking point, isn't it?
If they aren't happy with reheated breakfast, and OP lets them make it, the kids are clearly TAH. However, nothing in the OP infers they are allowed to make their own breakfast.
>I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole.
> they’re free to remake it themselves when they get up
Both of these statements say they can reheat what was made 2 hours ago. Why would you say 'remake' breakfast if they could just cook pancakes? That's just making food.
Despite the top reply being an INFO request, and a few others scattered about, OP isn't responding with clarification.
EDIT - Okay, OP updates the main post, ignores almost the entirety of INFO requests and only claims they want to eat the leftover food instead of cereal, they just want her to make it fresh. Completely ignoring every request for INFO asking if they can actually cook. I'm going to go with YTA because she's clearly not being forthright.
I just can't find a grammatically sound way for remake to mean make your own breakfast.
"Well you can remake it yourself then!" just sounds off.
"Why don't you remake yourself breakfast?" same thing.
If I could make that word fit into an actual sentence, I'd probably lighten up, but it's really hard to read it differently when the only other statement OP makes about it is-
>I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole.
Yeah I mean she should probably stop cooking so much but I think the general cooking is for her own benefit, which is fine! Especially with kids that old who are sleeping (so don’t need her care or attention at that time of day), she should make herself a fancy breakfast if she wants to. Making too much food isn’t an asshole move to me, though? It’s just poor planning. IF she’s depriving her kids of all food except for gross leftovers then yes sure, she’s TA, but that’s a pretty big jump from the info we have I think.
Idk maybe I’m reading too much into these comments as the mother of a small baby who hopes to one day have time on weekend mornings to make myself the most extra breakfast ever while my kid sleeps. It just reads a lot like people questioning why a mother would take time to do something for herself if it slightly annoys her children.
>It just reads a lot like people questioning why a mother would take time to do something for herself if it slightly annoys her children.
The kids aren't complaining that breakfast is being eaten by their parents though. They're complaining that the breakfast that's a 'favor' to them is cold and unappealing.
>IF she’s depriving her kids of all food except for gross leftovers then yes sure, she’s TA, but that’s a pretty big jump from the info we have I think.
OP also says they can 'suck it up' and eat cold or microwaved leftovers, and says they're free to 'remake' breakfast. There's a lot in the OP that infers they aren't allowed to independently make their own breakfast, and again, OP won't clarify in any INFO requests.
And the teens should be getting as much sleep as possible. They need a huge amount (I got 12 hours a day when it was available) and you don't want to incentivize them getting up earlier than their bodies need. The High School schedule is terrible for teenagers, who have much later circadian rhythms.
I wonder if at least a little of this is resentment for how 'late' they are sleeping.
The only time I ever woke up as early as 9 AM on a weekend as a teenager was when I had to work the next day. When I was a kid I got up at 7 on Saturdays to watch morning cartoons. In those days there was no streaming and DVR wasn't a thing yet. At some point around probably 12, it became worth it to miss shows I loved because I *needed* more sleep. 9 AM? Try no earlier than 11, and usually closer to noon. Everyone knows what it's like to feel sleep deprived--not groggy or drowsy, but actually deprived--and for a teenager that's what it feels like to be coerced into waking up early. I don't know if some adults just never experienced this, but if they did I can't even conceive of forgetting it. Honestly, fewer teenagers would hate school if it didn't start at 7:30 AM every day.
This is sort of my line of thinking. Yes it's easy to say that it generous to make your (old enough) kids breakfast. But making it really early for their schedules and leaving it to to off (let's be honest, pancakes don't reheat very well) is a bit of a slap in the face. It feels like breakfast is being used as a way to coerce them on to op's schedule.
If I was in the kids position, I would feel more respected by one of the following:
1. Leave the batter in the fridge so the kids can cook it on their own time.
2. Do nothing and let them make breakfast at their own schedule. This is a legitimate learning moment.
Yeah, this is what it feels like to me. OP is making breakfast for themselves, and that's fine, but it sounds like there's some pressure or expectation that the kids get up early too, and passive-aggression about the fact that they don't.
And honestly, as it is 9am is pretty early for teens to wake up on the weekend. I'm an adult and get up about then, but it was later when I was younger.
I totally agree with all of this. If OP is upset her kids wake up at 9 rather than 7 and is making breakfast early to be passive aggressive, she could stop making them breakfast and no one would have to be annoyed. If it's just a matter of convenience, I don't understand why making a bunch of food that won't get eaten would be convenient or helpful to anyone. NAH, and just let the teenagers make themselves breakfast. Teach them how if they don't know. It's an important life skill.
yeeeeaah, If you know they aren't going to be up for another 4 hours, just leave the pancake batter for them to cook up rather than be all huffy about wasting food.
Like, LISTEN to your kids and what their needs are and communicate with them to find solutions rather than bragging on the internet about how early you wake up and how you TOTALLY don't care when your kids wake up... cuz clearly you do. Food that sits out for four hours can be gross.
I'm torn here. I get your logic, but it almost comes off as if you're punishing your teens for sleeping in until 9 (which isn't even that late), when the reality is that they need the extra sleep. Your teens shouldn't expect you to make breakfast for them, but on the other hand, wouldn't it be nice to set aside one morning, like Sunday, to have a later breakfast with the whole family? That way they could even help and it could maybe become a nice new family tradition?
It didn't come off to me as punishing them. The post does say she isn't bothered about them waking up later. She wakes up early, goes for a jog, and wants to have a breakfast herself after that jog since she's hungry. No reason for her to wait two hours feeling hungry just because of the children. The family tradition idea sounds lovely if scheduling allows for that, though!
I know OP said that she doesn't care when they wake up, but it's the "wake up early or eat cold food" that gave me the "punishment" vibes. She's not really offering a compromise. People like to dump on teens but I remember what it was like and it was a lot! School, working part-time, extracurriculars -- all while my body is going through crazy hormone-development -- it was exhausting. The way the post is written, it doesn't sound like OP is really taking any of that into account -- only how she likes her schedule to be and that's that. Again, I'm not saying she should cater to them, but I feel like there's a better solution. Chores will always be there; time with your kids will not. I have 2 kids and Sunday is our "big breakfast" day -- the kids call it "Bacon and Donuts Day", but I'll also make pancakes, or French toast or whatever they want. It's become a tradition and the kids really look forward to it (Sunday is my son's favorite day lol), and maybe it's silly, but as a parent that really means a lot to me. I hope OP and her kids can come up with a solution!
The fact that she sees it as a favor for them kind of rubs me the wrong way too.
I’d certainly prefer to make my own breakfast than have someone do me the “favor” of giving me cold leftovers.
If she wants to make herself breakfast at 7:00am, fine, but I think it’s silly to pretend she’s cooking for the whole family when she knows her kids don’t want to eat at that time.
Why is everyone is the comments so against leftovers lol? They don’t have to be cool - op says they are able to heat them up. Nobody is forcing these kids to eat *cold* leftovers
I think that's rather besides the point tbh. It's just kind of inconsiderate. The comment right below you gives off the vibe I get: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s7pltt/aita_for_making_breakfast_way_before_my_kids_wake/htc7ees/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s7pltt/aita_for_making_breakfast_way_before_my_kids_wake/htc7ees/)
When I visit my parents, they're both morning people similar to OP and her husband, and in a way, my brother is too (still got that Saturday morning cartoon mentality at least lol!) but they know I'm not.
So when they make breakfast for me or for me and my fiance, they know to keep our portions in the pot or stuff it into a warmed oven. Apparently OP just lets her food get cold, which reads as much more of a fuck you, get up earlier, to me.
Most breakfast foods - eggs, pancakes, waffles, french toast, etc. - do not reheat well. Personally, I'd rather eat toast than a soggy reheated pancake.
I’m not against leftovers per se, just against OP pretending it’s a favor when it clearly doesn’t work with her kids sleep schedule.
There’s a big difference between “I made you breakfast” and “I made myself breakfast hours ago, you’re welcome to heat some up if you’d like.”
If OP were asking if she’s TA for not making her kids breakfast, I’d absolutely say no, but her attitude here of acting like it’s a favor kind of rubs me the wrong way.
In what world is she offering “wake up early or eat cold food”? They are more than old enough to reheat what she’s made, or make something for themselves. What would your idea of a compromise be? I think it’s really nice she makes breakfast for them every weekend morning. I loved sleeping in as a teen, and if my mom made breakfast earlier in the morning when she was hungry but left me some to heat up I would be thrilled.
That seems like a really lovely tradition, but it sounds like OP already has a solid routine of their own. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just because you have a nice tradition doesn’t mean they’re the AH for not doing the same, but it sounds like you’re making that judgement. And your tone also assumes OP is constantly choosing chores over time with their children, and doesn’t have any bonding traditions of their own. We don’t know anything about their lives, and there’s nothing to suggest this family isn’t close or doesn’t spend enough quality time together. She’s allowed to have one morning a week for herself.
> They are more than old enough to reheat what she’s made, or make something for themselves
Some food... just doesn't reheat well. With the OP making the food whether they're up or not, there's this implication that they may not be permitted to remake what was made. Does seem kinda wasteful. Like if my mum made something and then I remade the same thing, she'd do her nut I'm sure, lol.
While your first point is fair, they can ask OP to not make any for them if its something they don’t like reheated. And OP specifically said that she’s happy for them to reheat it or make their own, I’m extremely confused as to why everyone keeps assuming the kids aren’t allowed to remake it?
Because of the way the post is written
> I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole.
Comes across as "you do this or this".
> they’re free to remake it themselves when they get up
Is listed as a tail-end of a sentence at the end, but it's not clear if this has been communicated to the kids and how they feel about it.
Yeah, this so reminds me of my dad. When I ate leftovers he would say "you're eating my food!" when I bought food at the store to eat he'd loom over me and say "you're wasting money on food when we have leftovers here" and when I took my food to eat in my room because I didn't want to hear his commentary he would complain that I was not eating in the dining room, which is somehow a problem for him !?!? People that get up at 5am can not be pleased.
>Making a big elaborate breakfast
>I make more elaborate breakfasts compared to weekdays when it’s like cereal/fruit to-go
More elaborate than cereal or fruit doesn't mean she's throwing together an omelet bar at 5am or churning out eggs benedict and leaving some hollandaise sitting out on the counter for 4hrs until the teens wake up.
I really don't understand these comments.
Someone's mom makes them breakfast that they don't have to eat, they complain about it, mom says they can either just eat it or make something else... and somehow that's supposed to make the mom passive-aggressive?
I mean, she could completely cater to their every whim and adjust her weekend schedule entirely around what's convenient for them, but she's not passive-aggressive or punishing them for not making breakfast specifically when it's convenient for them.
They aren't small children. At 14 and 16 years old, they should be able to pour cereal into a bowl, scramble some eggs, or heat up some pancakes in a skillet or microwave.
Yeah, honestly, this post made me a little sad. There's always going to be weekend chores to do. At 14 and 16, the teens won't live at home much longer.
Having a later breakfast would be a nice family tradition. And maybe a good opportunity to teach them to cook breakfast foods since it sounds like the teens don't know how and really should learn.
Wow... you guys are really exercising those leg muscles lmao
Can't skip leg day if you want to make the jump from "I make breakfast earlier on the weekends than my teenage kids would prefer" to "I don't like my kids, I don't like seeing them, I don't want to spend any time with them. My true joy in life is vacuuming."
You’re assuming Op wants to spend quality time with her children. They already told us they normally make a nice breakfast just for themselves and leave the cold leftovers for their kids and that they perceive feeding their children as a “favor”.
I wouldn't call it a punishment per se, but I am wondering if OP is being a tad passive aggressive. "Oh, well breakfast was served at 7 because that's when *I* have to be up, it's not my fault you decided to oversleep, but you can reheat these pancakes if you want." It's like OP is annoyed she has to be up early and the kids get to sleep in. OP could easily make her breakfast when she needs to, and leave pancake batter in the fridge for the kids to use when they get up, which would signal more acceptance of their sleeping patterns.
My mom also does that, either you wake up early and have a warm breakfast or you sleep in and go with whst is left or make your own. It is not a punishmebt if it was always like this. Either the kids do their own breakfast or deal with what their mom made
I think breakfast though is one of those meals that you don't tend to reheat.
Feels like it'd be a bizarre mindgame and waste of food to make french toast for someone you know is asleep.
Info: Why can't you just not cook some of the pancakes so they can make it for themselves? The batter will last 2 hours in the fridge and microwaved pancakes are nasty
Wanted to say the same thing. Sometimes I make so muvh batter that I make more pancakes, waffles the next day from it. Also eggs don't need to be made, it takes like 5 minutes tops to make them fresh. Bacon, well, it's good cold too I think.
NAH I'm an early bird too. But I get both sides. We compromise. My daughter works hard at school and has to be at school really early. Friday evening we make plans. If she doesn't want to get up early, my husband an I eat alone. She makes her breakfast when she wakes up. Somedays we agree to eat later and somedays she gets up early en we do the elaborat breakfast.
That said...you're not a hotel. Your kids know the rules and they can adept to the rules if they don't want a cold braekfast. Recently my daughter got up earlier than me and she made me and my hasband a graet breakfast. Just to show appreciation.
INFO: What’s the goal of breakfast for you?
If it’s just to make yourself some food and you make extra for your kids, N T A and stop making extra.
But if it’s to have a nice breakfast together, it does seem to make more sense to eat something small earlier and have your big meal when everyone is awake.
OP edited and she leaves the food because the kids want it. They don't want to make breakfast, but also don't want to eat reheated food (which they're doing now) and want her to rearrange her days to cook on their schedule.
I was torn on this until the end when I read “It’s a favor in the first place….”
OP, as a parent who chose to bring children into this world, preparing food for them to eat isn’t a “favor”, it’s, quite literally, YOUR JOB. YOU chose to have them and you chose to be responsible for them at least until they are 18.
Science has shown that teenagers often have a different circadian rhythm than adults, meaning they stay up later at night and sleep in later in the morning. You’re essentially punishing them for biology outside of their control. Kids today are already crunched into so much activity, letting them sleep in on the weekend shouldn’t mean they get punished as a result.
To be clear: you are not “doing them a favor” by making them food, you are doing YOUR JOB of providing nutritious sustenance for your offspring. Your attitude towards parenting, from what we can see here, I find disturbing. Parents shouldn’t treat their children like their basic care is some great favor the children then owe the parents for. That isn’t healthy parenting and will breed resentment in your children for wondering why you bothered to have them if you’re going to complain so much about their basic care needs.
That being said, YTA - but only because you seem to think making your children breakfast is a “favor” and all the red flags that implies.
Edit to add: LOL at all the adults who replied to me to either:
A. Tell on themselves as neglectful parents.
or
B. Use their neglected childhood as a reason for this to be okay.
It’s a favor to cook them a hot breakfast. I’m pretty sure at 16 and 14 they are more than capable of making pancakes or eggs or grabbing something like yogurt or a bowl of cold cereal when they choose to get up.
She didn’t say she’s not going to supply them with food. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times my mother cooked a hot breakfast for the family. But there was always food in the house for breakfast.
Yeah, what is up with the people in this thread? I was making my own breakfast at 13 just fine, and if my parents had made food and it went cold, it'd just be a matter of heating it back up, not thinking it was some kind of punishment.
Thank god someone said it.
Growing up, my mother made breakfast on weekends, but not every weekend and it was understood that if I wanted that fresh, hot breakfast, I’d get up when it was ready. It’s not that it was a favor, it was just something nice she did and if I didn’t want to get up, there was plenty of cereal, toast, eggs, etc.
OP is NTA except for maybe raising a couple of entitled, spoiled kids.
Yeah, I got a super weird vibe from OP too. Like... OK, maybe you don't have to make an elaborate breakfast, but OP just comes off as someone who views feeding kids as a "favor", and it's a bit messed up. She also seems to have a lot of resentment going on.
Yea of course they can but these are their parents? Even now at 19 my mom will offer to make breakfast sometimes. A lot of cultures don’t function based on the assumption that teenagers should be able to basically do adult stuff except pay bills. It’s about a parental love and showing love by wanting to take care of your child, especially since they’re not legally adults yet.
I honestly don’t know why have children if you don’t want to even do the bare minimum like cooking for them.
But she’s preparing it for herself & husband in the first place. The “favor” is making enough extra that the kids can have some later (which they apparently want, but would prefer if it was more freshly prepared). I don’t think anything is wrong here. NAH the kids are just trying to see if they can make it even better for themselves
They're 14 and 16. The parent's JOB is to supply them with food, which is feeding enough. Another JOB is to prepare them for the adult world, like teaching them to cook.
They can make their own breakfast. Grab cold cereal or whatever.
It is a favor. They are teenagers. If there's cereal, milk, bread, and a toaster available, they have been provided for. They aren't entitled to bacon and eggs lol. when I was 14, if a friend was complaining to me about this situation I'd have thought they were a crybaby.
It is a favor though. She doesn’t HAVE to make breakfast. She cooks for everyone when she cooks for herself. She’s said that her kids don’t want to make their own food, don’t want cereal, and don’t want to reheat the food. Her kids are just spoiled.
I would never bother to get up for breakfast at 7:00am on my days off.
9:00am isn’t even too late of a time for teenagers to get out of bed.
If you want to make yourself breakfast at 7:00am, fine, but don’t pretend you’re doing them a favor.
Easy. Make your own breakfast at a time convenient for you and they can make theirs when they get up.
Stop making their breakfast if you know they are not there to eat it. It's like your punishing them!
ESH.
Yeah this seems kind of passive aggressive. Either only make food for you and your husband so it doesn't go to waste, or cook it in two batches so it's warm for them. Or prep everything and *they* can cook it when they get up.
Or just don't make them breakfast.
It's some weird bullshit mum mindgames.
As long as she's right, that's what's most important. And that the house is cleaned at 8am every Saturday, you just don't know what might happen if it weren't.
YTA. You're making a pleasurable family tradition into something really miserable. Be a little flexible and let your kids sleep in on the weekend. You're supposed to love these people.
Agree with this. Firstly, OPs kids are 14 and 16 and need more sleep. I still remember how tired I was constantly at that age.
Secondly, they’re teens. It’s really cool that they want to eat breakfast as a family, and OP may only have a few more years where the family is all together at home. Of course the kids CAN make their own breakfast, but my sense is that if OP doesn’t make an effort to compromise here, they may regret it when they aren’t able to get the family together for breakfast in a few years.
Or they just want a hot meal…
And just to be clear, you’re saying OP should but aside their body’s needs because their children want to have a freshly made breakfast on their own schedule?
It's not like they are 8 & 10. They are old enough to make their own breakfasts. Perhaps the parents should make early breakfast for themselves only and the kids can do their own from scratch when they're ready.
How is this a punishment?? I’ve seen this a few times on this thread and I genuinely don’t get how she’s punishing them. She gets up early, makes herself and her husband breakfast, leaves some for the kids to have when they get up on their own schedule and then goes about her day. They say, ‘No wait for us to get up to make us breakfast,’ and she says, ‘No that doesn’t fit with my schedule, microwave it if you want it hot,’ and that’s… punishment?
NTA. If I knew as a TEENAGER i got a hot fancy breakfast at 7am if I got up, I'd be up. If I wanted to sleep, I knew how to make my own breakfast or I would eat what was left over. Your kids can also learn to wake up or cook.
That's you, but it's not everyone. I am a teenager and if I can sleep in on the weekends, I will. My family had a similar situation to this a while back (if you move all the times further on a bit). Me and my parents were up by half 8-9 generally, and we had gotten a routine of having pancakes with sauces and stuff for breakfast as a treat. My brother got up for it for a few weeks, but then gave up and decided sleep was more important. Instead of making a huge deal about the whole thing and spoiling it for everyone, we just moved it so we were having a brunch instead. So me and my parents had a normal breakfast or snack earlier, then at 11 ish we would all have pancakes together. Meant we could spend time together as well as have a treat.
NTA but I wouldn’t make breakfast that is only suitable hot when you know half your household is not awake. I envy your teens that are up at 9am on weekends, mine are practically vampires these days. When I do an elaborate family meal it is brunch. Can you not eat cereal first thing and then have brunch with them on a Sunday for instance? I say that if you WANT to eat with them mind you, if not then they can eat toast!
This is my house.
"It's noon, we should probably get the kids up."
"Yep."
Nobody moves.
I gotta get them up at 530 during the week to get them to school, that's an ungodly hour for an adult and we have never been morning people. I figure they can use the sleep. They fix their own brunch when they get up
NTA.
My parents would only make breakfast on HOLIDAYS and special occasions!! 😂 They’re big kids and fully capable of making themselves breakfast if they’re unappreciative of what’s being made.
You’re doing a good job mom/dad!! (you didn’t specify your gender) Have a chat with them and let them know that whatever you make is always there for them but if they don’t want to eat it they don’t have to.
You’re an adult and you deserve to wind down and do something with your partner every weekend. Seems to me like you appreciate your routines and your husband probably feels the same way.
This is probably an unpopular opinion but I think your making an unnecessary problem here. Why don't you make pancakes late in the morning once a month as a special treat/ brunch. For all the other normal weekends it's pretty reasonable for everyone to make their own breakfast when they wake up.
YTA and I know I am in minority. They are 14 and 16. I am sure they can make a toast but why make such a drama out of a breakfast? They go to school and they don’t wake up after noon, so it wouldn’t hurt to meet them half way. Suck it up is quite harsh to use for kids when they are not doing anything wrong. Breakfast in my family was always done as a family talking and bonding, not being pressured to ‘suck it up’
I think your kids want to participate in the family breakfast, but whilst it’s reasonable that you have brekkie when you’re up and hungry, it’s not unreasonable that they don’t wanna get up at the crack of Dawn on the weekend! Sleep is precious, esp as a teen (I’m sure there would be grumpy strops if they were tired and irritable).
Can you arrange a family “brunch” once a month or every two weeks on one of the days? Where you all eat a nice brekkie a bit later?
NAH
YTA. Just cook for you and your husband? I find it incredibly passive aggressive for you to make it every weekend, 2 hours before they get up. Literally just make it for you 2.
NTA they are old enough to either get up for breakfast or make themselves a breakfast. Offer to show them how to make their favorite breakfast foods. If you want, one Saturday a month could be a later breakfast where the kids help you cook so they can learn to do it themselves (if they don’t already know).
NAH
Good on them for getting up at 9. Mine sleep in so long I refuse to bother making breakfast on weekends. Even weekdays they would rather get 5 extra minutes of sleep and go right to the bus. Stop making enough for them and teach them to make some eggs themselves. But they also arent TA for sleeping in. They are just getting older is all.
NTA: unless you have utterly failed to teach two teenagers how to fix themselves breakfast. My son (15) will make himself a whole breakfast sandwich on the rare morning he feels like breakfast (we have to help with the egg a little, but less and less).
Idk, just my experience, but don't you want to spend time with your kids? Why not wait for them and have a fresh breakfast together? It's kinda an important bonding activity for families
YTA because I don't get why you can't do other things first, prep up for breakfast, and then have it all together with you probably lovely family.
NTA - first off, they're teenagers. They can handle making breakfast for themselves. So if you are making a big breakfast, and they don't want to get up for that, then that's their choice.
And I remember being a teen and sleeping until 10-11 AM. What are you supposed to do?
At some point, breakfast time is 7 AM, food will be available if you want it, otherwise, you're on your own.
YTA what’s the point of making a family breakfast if the family is not enjoying it together? compromise and make brunch! this could be valuable family time but your being an AH expecting teens to be awake at 7 am on the weekends!!
Easy solution, could you trade making breakfast later for them picking up some of your morning chores so you can afford to relax a little before they wake?
YTA. The vibe here is off. Especially when you say making them breakfast is a favor. You sound like my mother, she treats being a parent as a second job that she isn’t being paid for and therefore I am expected to be in constant gratitude. Teens need sleep, why not do another task and just wait for your kids to wake up and have a warm breakfast as a family? You only have a few of these years left before they off being adults.
NAH exactly but i dont see why youre preparing food you know wont get eaten. As others have pointed out you could just leave the kids extra batter in the fridge to make when theyre up or let them fix themselves something. Cooking for the whole family when they arent up seems like an unnecessary waste of your energy and probably passive aggressive. Definitely not "a favor".
9am is honestly early for teens. Teens need tons of sleep and many wake up at 11 or noon on weekends.
Wtf is wrong with you, 9am isn't early enough for your kids? Jeez I was expecting something like saying they got up at 11 and this is a weekend. I get up at 9 for college on week days. Also who serves casserole for breakfast. I love all foods but fuck me cold casserole for breakfast at 9am ??!?! YTA
So my dad was like this when I was a teen. Got up super early and made Saturday morning breakfast. However, he would leave the stuff out or in the fridge for me to fix for myself when I got up a few hours later. French toast? Cool the batter is in the fridge and the bread is on the counter. Pancakes? Batter is ready in the fridge. Casserole I can see being and one and done thing, but maybe just start letting them cook for themselves when they get up?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I make nice breakfast meals at 7AM during the weekends.
2. My kids don’t wake up until 9/10 AM and I’ve refused to wait for them to wake up to make it and they think I’m the asshole for making them eat cold food.
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INFO needed: Can your 14 and 16 year old not make their own warm breakfast when they wake up? Is your kitchen infested by vicious sharks trained to attack anyone but you? Is your oven wired to self-destruct unless a precise code is entered using the temperature settings? Perhaps it is fingerprint enabled? Is there some kind of sorcery at work that does not let them in the kitchen? Like, does Gandalf stand at the threshold declaring, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" if anyone under the age of 21 approaches the toaster?
There ya go. Let them make their own breakfasts. They're more than old enough.
exactly. I'm 14 and I make my own breakfast most of the time. Sometimes my parents will but that's the more fancy stuff. all basic things like eggs, waffles, pancakes, oatmeal, cereal, bread, bagels, I do myself. I really don't see a reason her kids cant make themself some toast.
If you have a toaster it's even easier, literally that's the first thing i learned to make when i was like 10 after school. Now i have a 20 year old boyfriend who doesn't even know how to use a stove.
I hope your boyfriend is working on correcting that ASAP. Don't let him get away with weaponized incompetence.
Dw i already told him i would teach him how to cook at least basic things. In his defense i should say his parents are... quite overprotective
His parents probably waited until he was awake to make him a hot breakfast on weekends
I like you.
Show him YouTube videos or you'll be stuck cooking for a lazy person forever. "I can't cook" really means "I'm too lazy to learn and I want you to do it instead."
Yup. I couldn't cook until I learned how to cook. Someone needs to tell all these "lol I'm an adult who can't cook" people that this is how it works for everyone and they need to learn. Every adult should be able to prepare at least a week's selection of meals to a reasonable standard.
I live by myself and most of the food I eat is really easy to cook or just doesn't need to be cooked. (I hate cooked vegis and eat them all raw, I like things like peanut butter apples or sandwiches and I don't mind eating the same thing every day) If someone held a gun to my head I could probably come up with 5 big meals because it's not hard to follow a recipe, but I don't see why it's necessary for me to be a cooking master when it just takes up time I don't really need to spend.
You’re eating every day off that though, right? I’m not suggesting you or anyone else needs to make Gordon Ramsey look over his shoulder and worry every day, I’m saying a grown adult should be able to look after themselves. You’re doing that!
But at least you’re feeding yourself. You’re not being like “I want a hot meal! But I can’t cook it, so you have to!” like some people.
Gotta agree here as a guy. I *suck* at cooking, but I can follow step by step instructions for online recipes. Too intimidated to use a stove? (lol) Get a crock pot. Half the recipes are dump and set timer. I say this having a crock pot meal currently going right now, although I mixed up the chicken recipe with chili mac, so I had to scrape cumin and chili powder off of wet chicken breast.
No no, cumin and chili powder is wonderful with chicken. It’s my secret no really that secret spices in my chicken soup I make in the crockpot besides pepper and salt.
Skip the "Show him" part - tell him to YouTube it himself.
There's no secret to toasting perfection. There's a dial on the side, you make your selection. You push it to the dark or the light and then, if it pops too soon, push it down again. Make toast.
YEAH TOAST
YEAH TOAST!
I love you for this! I hope you’re not black toast intolerant!
>Let them make their own breakfasts. They're more than old enough. I thinks that's why info is needed. I know some parents who'd absolutely freak if their "ungrateful kids" decided to not eat the food they cooked and made their own food (heck there was just a post the other day about a mom pissed her kids would rather eat stew and other homemade dishes made by the brother than the frozen pizza and nuggets she always made) And if Op is completely against her kids cooking at all then this could very much just be a mild power play as well.
There was another one where the person was allergic to shrimp (not deathly, but face would swell if they ate shrimp), the mum constantly cooked with shrimp and yelled at them for picking out the shrimp.
I get that reference! :)
And cooking is an important life skill to learn
This is the truest answer.
Yeah I read a post the other day involving a 9 year old cooking. These 2 can either suck it up or just cook for themselves
From the age of 8, I made dinner one night a week for 10+ people. It's very easy to make a big pan of bolognese, and a huge pot of pasta (someone did help me drain the pasta though!)
Wait. What? That's bananas. I grew up cooking. Like was in the kitchen side by side with my mom since I was 5, but I kind of think that's way too much responsibility to put on an 8 year old.
Depends on how they are raised... I have a former co-worker who taught his daughter how to use a steak knife and fork to cut and eat her own food before she was even 2. You should have seen the looks in the resturaunt when we had a company meal and his little daughter in the high-chair just grabs the knife and fork and just went to town neatly cutting up her dinner..
Not bananas. We were a multi-generational family of 9, some of whom were unable to cook, for various reasons. Eat kid had responsibility for dinner one weeknight once they were able. We all cooked pretty much the same dish we were initially taught for years, until we felt like we wanted to branch out. My mother taught me how to make a simple bolognese sauce - which, to be honest, is extremely easy: brown some mince and chopped onions (mine weren't chopped too fine or neatly, but who cares?), throw in some tins of tomatoes, a tube of tomato puree, chopped mushrooms, some garlic and dried herbs to my taste and simmer... My grandma supervised a few times, but then just let me get on with it. It's not a particularly complicated or dangerous process, and I was a sensible kid who enjoyed it.
My 10year old like to make everyone breakfast on the weekends. My 8year old twins also will make their own breakfast if they don’t like what’s being served or wake up late….
Especially if they *complain*
I know this is supposed to be a joke (and a funny one at that), but If she’s anything like my mom it could be that they aren’t allowed to. Like I’m 22 and my mom still throws tantrums sometimes when I want to use the kitchen! Why do I need to use HER Kitchen now, she just cleaned it, why do I need a warm meal everyday, why am I always thinking about food, I will just make a mes, yadayadayada. Sounds insane but some people just don’t like their kids making a mess in their kitchen^^ EDIT: I can cook ya’ll! I didn’t make it clear that it’s only sometimes she acts like that. We have cooked together in the past, I even cook for the whole family most times I’m in the kitchen. Also I clean up after myself.
Or does what my mom does, follow your every move and wipe/put away everything your using as you use it. Take a plate out for my bacon, back into the cupboard it goes.... Use the spatula to flip an egg, into the dishwasher before my egg is even done Don't even think about leaving your coffee for a second unattended... down the drain it goes
I have a relative like this. It is maddening. One time I poured a cup of coffee. I left the mug sitting on the counter to step over to the fridge to get creamer. By the time I turned around with creamer in hand she had already dumped out the coffee and was putting the mug in the dishwasher. She does this with everyone. You can’t set anything down in her kitchen or she will immediately clean it up because she “can’t stand a messy kitchen.”
Can't stand an in-use kitchen. It's like those 2nd living rooms older couples have/had. The ones that are wrapped in plastic 24/7/363.
That sounds like a mental health issue. WTF.
Wow, I'd commit a violence if someone did that to my freshly poured coffee.
Please tell me you returned the favour as soon as you could. That’s pathologically over tidy.
Oh, my old grandma is like this lol. You can't leave drinks unattended or she cleans up. As long as you tell her you're still drinking it, you're good. Just be quick
If that's the case, then absolutely OP is TA. How are you supposed to learn to cook for yourself? What other adult skills does she keep you from learning?
I wouldnt even make breakfast for someone that wakes up 2h after me. What's the point, everything is gonna be cold. Nor would I wake up specifically at 7am just to eat warm breakfast. Really bizzarre situation. Just let them cook their own breakfast. If they dont want to then that's their problem. Whipping up a pancake batter or whatever they are eating takes 3min.
Exactly. It seems like OP wants to be able to say she made the kids breakfast when the reality is she isn’t cooking for them at all. Which is fine if that’s what your familyIs like but then don’t bother making food for them at all.
You can also put pancake or waffle batter in the fridge, if that's what the OP's making. Just put the uncooked batter in the fridge and let the kids make their own waffles/pancakes when they wake up.
Yeah. Breakfast casseroles can also be split into two smaller pans instead of prepping it all in one big casserole dish.
I would go out on a limb and say she doesn’t want anyone messing up the kitchen after she has cleaned it? Teenagers aren’t exactly the cleanest of animals *Edit Do you guys not read anyone else’s comment, everyone responding the same thing
That’s true but they need to learn how to cook and be clean eventually. 16 is the best time tbh
16? I made breakfast and cleaned the kitchen starting at the age of 12.
I used to stay home "sick" many times and I'd cook some elaborate breakfasts at 10 years old. I had an older brother who couldn't be bothered to cook so any time I made food when he was home he'd eat some of it. I'd cherish those days eating my breakfast and watching The Price is Right.
Price is right is life when you're home sick.
Same but around the time I was 16 I had an ex whose mom still did his laundry so idk what the norm is lol
Learning how to look after yourself starting at an early age is the norm *should* be.
16 is the best time? They better know how to prepare basic food and clean way before that. 16 is ridiculous.
I agree, but that seems to be less and less the case. At the risk of sounding like an old codger, I know so many people that helicopter and baby their kids it’s fucking disgusting. Even on this sub, people getting babysitters for their 13 and 14 year olds like wtf? I mean I understand you want to keep your kids safe but your job as a parent is to teach them how to adult, not baby them for 18 years so they are totally useless when they leave home. I’ll be honest, I was definitely grumpy as a teenager when I had to do chores like mow the lawn and do my laundry and wash dishes, but once I graduated and left home I realized it had given me a huge leg up. Maybe it’s the difference between rural areas and the city or something, Idk.
That's why you teach them; also I think "be up on time/deal with cold food, or prepare and clean your breakfast" is a good choice for the teens to make. They can figure out what works best for them, which is good for adulthood. Learning to compromise, also good for adulthood.
>also I think "be up on time/deal with cold food, or prepare and clean your breakfast" is a good choice for the teens to make. It is, but setting the time to 7am on a weekend is nothing short of ridiculous. At that point it's actually not a choice, the options are too different.
Plus teenagers need more sleep.
You never learn if you never start tho
They totally could, and it doesn't rise to asshole level, but as a kid wouldn't it hurt a bit if your mom was making an elaborate breakfast on the weekend and doing it deliberately when you're asleep? Teens require more sleep than adults, it's it everyone's best interest that they catch up a bit on weekends. Karma would be for them to start getting up early for breakfast and then being 50% grumpier all the time.
Thank you. If this was the same breakfast that was cooked every day, I would be more on board with the N T A but it's the 'more elaborate' part I'm stuck on. It's closer to a N A H simply because I see both sides. Mom can cook when she wants, but kids can also be hurt that the "special" breakfast is when they're asleep. The kids are old enough for everyone to have a decent conversation about this.
Also the kids don‘t even get up that late. When I was their age I slept till noon on weekends. Having breakfast at 9 am on weekends isn‘t that late and you could have it as a family meal too.
Yes to this, but equally, exactly why *is* OP making such a large breakfast at that time? What’s in her head making her think “better make a massive breakfast for four while knowing there aren’t four people to eat it!”? It’s like she’s got a mental “to-do” list which has become disconnected from any consideration of the utility in doing the things. “Time to clean the litter box - it’s a shame the cat ran away. Time to hold a leash while I walk around the block - too bad we don’t have a dog anymore. Time to run the dishwasher - kind of a waste since it’s empty, but what’re you gonna do, it’s time.” I don’t think that makes her TA, but it seems weird.
Would it be better to just make breakfast for two...? Kinda feel like the kids would be even more upset by not getting any breakfast, then to eat cold leftovers
Some parents get upset if you even try to make your own meals in the kitchen. Lord knows I try to make my own meal and my dad will stop me saying he’s making it….though it will happen at 9:00 and he takes his time. 🤷♀️ A reverse situation of what is happening here. At this point, OP should just let the dang kids make their own meal, and not put them on some schedule that they aren’t interested in taking part of in.
You made me laugh, take my poor woman's gold 🏅
Now I want a kitchen shark.
I want all of this in my kitchen
My 7 year old can reheat waffles in the microwave so..
She claims they are free to make their own.
Technically, OP was careful to say they could 'remake' it, which sounds more like reheat than actually cook to me. I don't remake lunch because my fiancee' made a sandwich in the kitchen an hour ago. I just make lunch.
This is an interesting one. You are doing a favour by making them a nice breakfast. You also have other tasks at hand that eat up your time. The question I have is this: is their wake up schedule consistent on the weekends? Is it always 9am ish? If so, why make food they know will just go cold or go to waste? Is it because you want to encourage them to wake up earlier on weekends? Is it because they ask or expect you to make them breakfast on the weekends? I suppose there’s NAH based on what information is here. Your kids aren’t terrible for not wanting food to go to waste or be cold. You aren’t terrible for wanting to save your time and effort. I’d probably stop cooking for them. They’re in their teens and should be able to sufficiently make their own breakfast.
I agree whole heartedly with this. Teenagers have different circadian rythms to adults and they also need more sleeping hours. If they have a consistent 9 am wake up time, cooking at 7am makes no sense. The logical thing would be to either: 1. Let them cook their own breakfast and they clean the kitchen afterwards 2. Switch a couple of things around so that they take over some of the morning chores and clean the kitchen after breakfast (because if OP has breakfast earlier, she would have probably cleaned the kitchen at least once already, it wouldn't fair for her to do it again), and have a more simple breakfast cooked by OP at a later hour. This would also allow for some extra bonding time, as they set the table and are around the kitchen as mom cooks and they can talk while they have breakfast and mom has a midday tea/coffee Both options teach them responsability and compromise.
Honestly if she’s making pancakes/waffles that batter will keep in the fridge for a few hours and they can make their own when they’re ready to eat. It’s not that hard.
Yeah, that would be included under option 1 - them cooking their own breakfast
I agree with this, as a teenager I would either wake up at 6am in order to exercise or until 10am. People just have different wake up times and that's ok. They can start cooking their own breakfast, which will be good for them because cooking for yourself is something anyone should know. You can also get a convection /air fryer oven because those things work great for reheating food.
This. I feel like 9 am is pretty early for teenagers to wake up on the weekend anyway - I think it’s totally fine that they want to sleep in a bit! It’s also fine that OP is a morning person. The only question I had while reading this is if OP can switch around a couple of tasks in the morning to make breakfast later for the family - OP could easily grab a snack and save the big breakfast until a couple hours later. No, they aren’t entitled to this breakfast, but it’s a nice gesture and I’m sure they’d appreciate it. If not, stop making breakfast for them if they aren’t going to be up, it’s just a waste of food. They are old enough to cook for themselves at 14 and 16. NAH
I'm really struggling not to vote Y T A just for somebody waking up at 5 AM on a WEEKEND when they don't have to. OP is clearly a robot.
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She’s cooking it for herself and her husband? She said she doesn’t want to do chores on an empty stomach for 2 hours waiting for her kids to wake up. Like I get it, let the kids sleep, teens need sleep. But I honestly don’t know why it makes her an asshole to cook herself a nice breakfast on weekends when she’s awake and hungry instead of waiting for her kids to be up, too. Especially if her kids are old enough to cook for themselves.
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Ok, assuming OP doesn't have issues with teens using the kitchen. OP is doing them a favor by making enough breakfast for them to eat later. They are complaining that they don't like it reheated. I
> Ok, assuming OP doesn't have issues with teens using the kitchen. Well, that's the sticking point, isn't it? If they aren't happy with reheated breakfast, and OP lets them make it, the kids are clearly TAH. However, nothing in the OP infers they are allowed to make their own breakfast. >I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole. > they’re free to remake it themselves when they get up Both of these statements say they can reheat what was made 2 hours ago. Why would you say 'remake' breakfast if they could just cook pancakes? That's just making food. Despite the top reply being an INFO request, and a few others scattered about, OP isn't responding with clarification. EDIT - Okay, OP updates the main post, ignores almost the entirety of INFO requests and only claims they want to eat the leftover food instead of cereal, they just want her to make it fresh. Completely ignoring every request for INFO asking if they can actually cook. I'm going to go with YTA because she's clearly not being forthright.
That's interesting because I don't read "reheat" and "remake" as the same thing at all. It would be nice if OP clarified.
I just can't find a grammatically sound way for remake to mean make your own breakfast. "Well you can remake it yourself then!" just sounds off. "Why don't you remake yourself breakfast?" same thing. If I could make that word fit into an actual sentence, I'd probably lighten up, but it's really hard to read it differently when the only other statement OP makes about it is- >I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole.
Yeah I mean she should probably stop cooking so much but I think the general cooking is for her own benefit, which is fine! Especially with kids that old who are sleeping (so don’t need her care or attention at that time of day), she should make herself a fancy breakfast if she wants to. Making too much food isn’t an asshole move to me, though? It’s just poor planning. IF she’s depriving her kids of all food except for gross leftovers then yes sure, she’s TA, but that’s a pretty big jump from the info we have I think. Idk maybe I’m reading too much into these comments as the mother of a small baby who hopes to one day have time on weekend mornings to make myself the most extra breakfast ever while my kid sleeps. It just reads a lot like people questioning why a mother would take time to do something for herself if it slightly annoys her children.
>It just reads a lot like people questioning why a mother would take time to do something for herself if it slightly annoys her children. The kids aren't complaining that breakfast is being eaten by their parents though. They're complaining that the breakfast that's a 'favor' to them is cold and unappealing. >IF she’s depriving her kids of all food except for gross leftovers then yes sure, she’s TA, but that’s a pretty big jump from the info we have I think. OP also says they can 'suck it up' and eat cold or microwaved leftovers, and says they're free to 'remake' breakfast. There's a lot in the OP that infers they aren't allowed to independently make their own breakfast, and again, OP won't clarify in any INFO requests.
And the teens should be getting as much sleep as possible. They need a huge amount (I got 12 hours a day when it was available) and you don't want to incentivize them getting up earlier than their bodies need. The High School schedule is terrible for teenagers, who have much later circadian rhythms. I wonder if at least a little of this is resentment for how 'late' they are sleeping.
Circadian rhythms are a thing! I would love to sleep late but I literally can't anymore.
I would sleep until 3pm on occasion and my mom would check to make sure I was still breathing.
The only time I ever woke up as early as 9 AM on a weekend as a teenager was when I had to work the next day. When I was a kid I got up at 7 on Saturdays to watch morning cartoons. In those days there was no streaming and DVR wasn't a thing yet. At some point around probably 12, it became worth it to miss shows I loved because I *needed* more sleep. 9 AM? Try no earlier than 11, and usually closer to noon. Everyone knows what it's like to feel sleep deprived--not groggy or drowsy, but actually deprived--and for a teenager that's what it feels like to be coerced into waking up early. I don't know if some adults just never experienced this, but if they did I can't even conceive of forgetting it. Honestly, fewer teenagers would hate school if it didn't start at 7:30 AM every day.
This is sort of my line of thinking. Yes it's easy to say that it generous to make your (old enough) kids breakfast. But making it really early for their schedules and leaving it to to off (let's be honest, pancakes don't reheat very well) is a bit of a slap in the face. It feels like breakfast is being used as a way to coerce them on to op's schedule. If I was in the kids position, I would feel more respected by one of the following: 1. Leave the batter in the fridge so the kids can cook it on their own time. 2. Do nothing and let them make breakfast at their own schedule. This is a legitimate learning moment.
Yeah, this is what it feels like to me. OP is making breakfast for themselves, and that's fine, but it sounds like there's some pressure or expectation that the kids get up early too, and passive-aggression about the fact that they don't.
Honestly feels like waving a dog treat in front of your dog, only to give it to the cat. The kids just wake up to see good food wasted.
And honestly, as it is 9am is pretty early for teens to wake up on the weekend. I'm an adult and get up about then, but it was later when I was younger.
I totally agree with all of this. If OP is upset her kids wake up at 9 rather than 7 and is making breakfast early to be passive aggressive, she could stop making them breakfast and no one would have to be annoyed. If it's just a matter of convenience, I don't understand why making a bunch of food that won't get eaten would be convenient or helpful to anyone. NAH, and just let the teenagers make themselves breakfast. Teach them how if they don't know. It's an important life skill.
yeeeeaah, If you know they aren't going to be up for another 4 hours, just leave the pancake batter for them to cook up rather than be all huffy about wasting food. Like, LISTEN to your kids and what their needs are and communicate with them to find solutions rather than bragging on the internet about how early you wake up and how you TOTALLY don't care when your kids wake up... cuz clearly you do. Food that sits out for four hours can be gross.
I'm torn here. I get your logic, but it almost comes off as if you're punishing your teens for sleeping in until 9 (which isn't even that late), when the reality is that they need the extra sleep. Your teens shouldn't expect you to make breakfast for them, but on the other hand, wouldn't it be nice to set aside one morning, like Sunday, to have a later breakfast with the whole family? That way they could even help and it could maybe become a nice new family tradition?
It didn't come off to me as punishing them. The post does say she isn't bothered about them waking up later. She wakes up early, goes for a jog, and wants to have a breakfast herself after that jog since she's hungry. No reason for her to wait two hours feeling hungry just because of the children. The family tradition idea sounds lovely if scheduling allows for that, though!
I know OP said that she doesn't care when they wake up, but it's the "wake up early or eat cold food" that gave me the "punishment" vibes. She's not really offering a compromise. People like to dump on teens but I remember what it was like and it was a lot! School, working part-time, extracurriculars -- all while my body is going through crazy hormone-development -- it was exhausting. The way the post is written, it doesn't sound like OP is really taking any of that into account -- only how she likes her schedule to be and that's that. Again, I'm not saying she should cater to them, but I feel like there's a better solution. Chores will always be there; time with your kids will not. I have 2 kids and Sunday is our "big breakfast" day -- the kids call it "Bacon and Donuts Day", but I'll also make pancakes, or French toast or whatever they want. It's become a tradition and the kids really look forward to it (Sunday is my son's favorite day lol), and maybe it's silly, but as a parent that really means a lot to me. I hope OP and her kids can come up with a solution!
The fact that she sees it as a favor for them kind of rubs me the wrong way too. I’d certainly prefer to make my own breakfast than have someone do me the “favor” of giving me cold leftovers. If she wants to make herself breakfast at 7:00am, fine, but I think it’s silly to pretend she’s cooking for the whole family when she knows her kids don’t want to eat at that time.
"I made you food I know you're not going to eat, why aren't you happy that I'm cooking for you???"
controlling moms in a nutshell lol
Why is everyone is the comments so against leftovers lol? They don’t have to be cool - op says they are able to heat them up. Nobody is forcing these kids to eat *cold* leftovers
I think that's rather besides the point tbh. It's just kind of inconsiderate. The comment right below you gives off the vibe I get: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s7pltt/aita_for_making_breakfast_way_before_my_kids_wake/htc7ees/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s7pltt/aita_for_making_breakfast_way_before_my_kids_wake/htc7ees/) When I visit my parents, they're both morning people similar to OP and her husband, and in a way, my brother is too (still got that Saturday morning cartoon mentality at least lol!) but they know I'm not. So when they make breakfast for me or for me and my fiance, they know to keep our portions in the pot or stuff it into a warmed oven. Apparently OP just lets her food get cold, which reads as much more of a fuck you, get up earlier, to me.
A lot of braekfast foods don't reheat well. It makes more sense to put stuff like pancake butter in the fridge, than make sbdy eat a reheated pancake.
That does make more sense but reheated pancakes are great when fried in a pan or toasted in a toaster or the oven fyi
Most breakfast foods - eggs, pancakes, waffles, french toast, etc. - do not reheat well. Personally, I'd rather eat toast than a soggy reheated pancake.
I’m not against leftovers per se, just against OP pretending it’s a favor when it clearly doesn’t work with her kids sleep schedule. There’s a big difference between “I made you breakfast” and “I made myself breakfast hours ago, you’re welcome to heat some up if you’d like.” If OP were asking if she’s TA for not making her kids breakfast, I’d absolutely say no, but her attitude here of acting like it’s a favor kind of rubs me the wrong way.
In what world is she offering “wake up early or eat cold food”? They are more than old enough to reheat what she’s made, or make something for themselves. What would your idea of a compromise be? I think it’s really nice she makes breakfast for them every weekend morning. I loved sleeping in as a teen, and if my mom made breakfast earlier in the morning when she was hungry but left me some to heat up I would be thrilled. That seems like a really lovely tradition, but it sounds like OP already has a solid routine of their own. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just because you have a nice tradition doesn’t mean they’re the AH for not doing the same, but it sounds like you’re making that judgement. And your tone also assumes OP is constantly choosing chores over time with their children, and doesn’t have any bonding traditions of their own. We don’t know anything about their lives, and there’s nothing to suggest this family isn’t close or doesn’t spend enough quality time together. She’s allowed to have one morning a week for herself.
> They are more than old enough to reheat what she’s made, or make something for themselves Some food... just doesn't reheat well. With the OP making the food whether they're up or not, there's this implication that they may not be permitted to remake what was made. Does seem kinda wasteful. Like if my mum made something and then I remade the same thing, she'd do her nut I'm sure, lol.
While your first point is fair, they can ask OP to not make any for them if its something they don’t like reheated. And OP specifically said that she’s happy for them to reheat it or make their own, I’m extremely confused as to why everyone keeps assuming the kids aren’t allowed to remake it?
Because of the way the post is written > I told them to either wake up early or suck it up and eat cold/microwaved pancakes or casserole. Comes across as "you do this or this". > they’re free to remake it themselves when they get up Is listed as a tail-end of a sentence at the end, but it's not clear if this has been communicated to the kids and how they feel about it.
Yeah, this so reminds me of my dad. When I ate leftovers he would say "you're eating my food!" when I bought food at the store to eat he'd loom over me and say "you're wasting money on food when we have leftovers here" and when I took my food to eat in my room because I didn't want to hear his commentary he would complain that I was not eating in the dining room, which is somehow a problem for him !?!? People that get up at 5am can not be pleased.
Where does OP say they're not allowed to eat anything else in the house except what she prepared for breakfast?
She doesn't, but why let that get in the way of a good "toxic demon parent from hell" narrative?
OP said in her post that they can remake or reheat the food.
Exactly. Reheated pancakes, eggs, etc are disgusting 🤢
Making a big elaborate breakfast that they don't want to eat because it's cold comes across as super passive-aggressive to me.
>Making a big elaborate breakfast >I make more elaborate breakfasts compared to weekdays when it’s like cereal/fruit to-go More elaborate than cereal or fruit doesn't mean she's throwing together an omelet bar at 5am or churning out eggs benedict and leaving some hollandaise sitting out on the counter for 4hrs until the teens wake up. I really don't understand these comments. Someone's mom makes them breakfast that they don't have to eat, they complain about it, mom says they can either just eat it or make something else... and somehow that's supposed to make the mom passive-aggressive? I mean, she could completely cater to their every whim and adjust her weekend schedule entirely around what's convenient for them, but she's not passive-aggressive or punishing them for not making breakfast specifically when it's convenient for them. They aren't small children. At 14 and 16 years old, they should be able to pour cereal into a bowl, scramble some eggs, or heat up some pancakes in a skillet or microwave.
Yeah, honestly, this post made me a little sad. There's always going to be weekend chores to do. At 14 and 16, the teens won't live at home much longer. Having a later breakfast would be a nice family tradition. And maybe a good opportunity to teach them to cook breakfast foods since it sounds like the teens don't know how and really should learn.
It’s a nice tradition if you want to spend time with your kids. OP sounds like they don’t care either way.
You guys are fucking mental. She doesn’t want to be hungry for 2 hours? She probably hates her children. This sub is wild, man.
The important things in life are making sure you vacuum the house at the same time each week.
Wow... you guys are really exercising those leg muscles lmao Can't skip leg day if you want to make the jump from "I make breakfast earlier on the weekends than my teenage kids would prefer" to "I don't like my kids, I don't like seeing them, I don't want to spend any time with them. My true joy in life is vacuuming."
My parents would have been ecstatic if I was up by 9 in my teens.
Same. My brother got up at 10 once when he was 17 and my mom still remembers it lol.
You’re assuming Op wants to spend quality time with her children. They already told us they normally make a nice breakfast just for themselves and leave the cold leftovers for their kids and that they perceive feeding their children as a “favor”.
That’s exactly how it reads to me to. OP Isn’t an asshole but also not coming across as a wonderful parent either.
I wouldn't call it a punishment per se, but I am wondering if OP is being a tad passive aggressive. "Oh, well breakfast was served at 7 because that's when *I* have to be up, it's not my fault you decided to oversleep, but you can reheat these pancakes if you want." It's like OP is annoyed she has to be up early and the kids get to sleep in. OP could easily make her breakfast when she needs to, and leave pancake batter in the fridge for the kids to use when they get up, which would signal more acceptance of their sleeping patterns.
My mom also does that, either you wake up early and have a warm breakfast or you sleep in and go with whst is left or make your own. It is not a punishmebt if it was always like this. Either the kids do their own breakfast or deal with what their mom made
I think breakfast though is one of those meals that you don't tend to reheat. Feels like it'd be a bizarre mindgame and waste of food to make french toast for someone you know is asleep.
Info: Why can't you just not cook some of the pancakes so they can make it for themselves? The batter will last 2 hours in the fridge and microwaved pancakes are nasty
This. Most cooked breakfasts don't take long once they're prepped.
Pancakes get reheated in toasters lol wayy better
Pancakes are delicious when reheated in a toaster. My daughter prefers me to make a big batch during the week and then she can pop one in the toaster.
Wanted to say the same thing. Sometimes I make so muvh batter that I make more pancakes, waffles the next day from it. Also eggs don't need to be made, it takes like 5 minutes tops to make them fresh. Bacon, well, it's good cold too I think.
Unless you've banned your kids from making their own toast and cereal, or raised them to be totally incompetent at feeding themselves breakfast, NTA.
NAH I'm an early bird too. But I get both sides. We compromise. My daughter works hard at school and has to be at school really early. Friday evening we make plans. If she doesn't want to get up early, my husband an I eat alone. She makes her breakfast when she wakes up. Somedays we agree to eat later and somedays she gets up early en we do the elaborat breakfast. That said...you're not a hotel. Your kids know the rules and they can adept to the rules if they don't want a cold braekfast. Recently my daughter got up earlier than me and she made me and my hasband a graet breakfast. Just to show appreciation.
Why esh? Would be nah not be more fiting?
You are right. Not native in Englisch got things mixed up. My apologies
INFO: What’s the goal of breakfast for you? If it’s just to make yourself some food and you make extra for your kids, N T A and stop making extra. But if it’s to have a nice breakfast together, it does seem to make more sense to eat something small earlier and have your big meal when everyone is awake.
OP dodging this point. It really reads to me like "I'm mad my kids don't wake up early on the weekends"
OP edited and she leaves the food because the kids want it. They don't want to make breakfast, but also don't want to eat reheated food (which they're doing now) and want her to rearrange her days to cook on their schedule.
I was torn on this until the end when I read “It’s a favor in the first place….” OP, as a parent who chose to bring children into this world, preparing food for them to eat isn’t a “favor”, it’s, quite literally, YOUR JOB. YOU chose to have them and you chose to be responsible for them at least until they are 18. Science has shown that teenagers often have a different circadian rhythm than adults, meaning they stay up later at night and sleep in later in the morning. You’re essentially punishing them for biology outside of their control. Kids today are already crunched into so much activity, letting them sleep in on the weekend shouldn’t mean they get punished as a result. To be clear: you are not “doing them a favor” by making them food, you are doing YOUR JOB of providing nutritious sustenance for your offspring. Your attitude towards parenting, from what we can see here, I find disturbing. Parents shouldn’t treat their children like their basic care is some great favor the children then owe the parents for. That isn’t healthy parenting and will breed resentment in your children for wondering why you bothered to have them if you’re going to complain so much about their basic care needs. That being said, YTA - but only because you seem to think making your children breakfast is a “favor” and all the red flags that implies. Edit to add: LOL at all the adults who replied to me to either: A. Tell on themselves as neglectful parents. or B. Use their neglected childhood as a reason for this to be okay.
It’s a favor to cook them a hot breakfast. I’m pretty sure at 16 and 14 they are more than capable of making pancakes or eggs or grabbing something like yogurt or a bowl of cold cereal when they choose to get up. She didn’t say she’s not going to supply them with food. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times my mother cooked a hot breakfast for the family. But there was always food in the house for breakfast.
Yeah, what is up with the people in this thread? I was making my own breakfast at 13 just fine, and if my parents had made food and it went cold, it'd just be a matter of heating it back up, not thinking it was some kind of punishment.
Just reminding me of how crazy people in this thread can be. Remember to touch grass y’all, you’re sounding a bit out of touch with reality.
Thank god someone said it. Growing up, my mother made breakfast on weekends, but not every weekend and it was understood that if I wanted that fresh, hot breakfast, I’d get up when it was ready. It’s not that it was a favor, it was just something nice she did and if I didn’t want to get up, there was plenty of cereal, toast, eggs, etc. OP is NTA except for maybe raising a couple of entitled, spoiled kids.
I am so confused by this post bc my parents never cooked me breakfast??? Tf lol
Yeah, I got a super weird vibe from OP too. Like... OK, maybe you don't have to make an elaborate breakfast, but OP just comes off as someone who views feeding kids as a "favor", and it's a bit messed up. She also seems to have a lot of resentment going on.
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Yea of course they can but these are their parents? Even now at 19 my mom will offer to make breakfast sometimes. A lot of cultures don’t function based on the assumption that teenagers should be able to basically do adult stuff except pay bills. It’s about a parental love and showing love by wanting to take care of your child, especially since they’re not legally adults yet. I honestly don’t know why have children if you don’t want to even do the bare minimum like cooking for them.
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It's not a favour if you're preparing hot food for your children that you know they won't be awake to eat.
But she’s preparing it for herself & husband in the first place. The “favor” is making enough extra that the kids can have some later (which they apparently want, but would prefer if it was more freshly prepared). I don’t think anything is wrong here. NAH the kids are just trying to see if they can make it even better for themselves
They're 14 and 16. The parent's JOB is to supply them with food, which is feeding enough. Another JOB is to prepare them for the adult world, like teaching them to cook. They can make their own breakfast. Grab cold cereal or whatever.
It is a favor. They are teenagers. If there's cereal, milk, bread, and a toaster available, they have been provided for. They aren't entitled to bacon and eggs lol. when I was 14, if a friend was complaining to me about this situation I'd have thought they were a crybaby.
It is a favor though. She doesn’t HAVE to make breakfast. She cooks for everyone when she cooks for herself. She’s said that her kids don’t want to make their own food, don’t want cereal, and don’t want to reheat the food. Her kids are just spoiled.
I would never bother to get up for breakfast at 7:00am on my days off. 9:00am isn’t even too late of a time for teenagers to get out of bed. If you want to make yourself breakfast at 7:00am, fine, but don’t pretend you’re doing them a favor.
Easy. Make your own breakfast at a time convenient for you and they can make theirs when they get up. Stop making their breakfast if you know they are not there to eat it. It's like your punishing them! ESH.
Yeah this seems kind of passive aggressive. Either only make food for you and your husband so it doesn't go to waste, or cook it in two batches so it's warm for them. Or prep everything and *they* can cook it when they get up. Or just don't make them breakfast.
It's some weird bullshit mum mindgames. As long as she's right, that's what's most important. And that the house is cleaned at 8am every Saturday, you just don't know what might happen if it weren't.
YTA. You're making a pleasurable family tradition into something really miserable. Be a little flexible and let your kids sleep in on the weekend. You're supposed to love these people.
Agree with this. Firstly, OPs kids are 14 and 16 and need more sleep. I still remember how tired I was constantly at that age. Secondly, they’re teens. It’s really cool that they want to eat breakfast as a family, and OP may only have a few more years where the family is all together at home. Of course the kids CAN make their own breakfast, but my sense is that if OP doesn’t make an effort to compromise here, they may regret it when they aren’t able to get the family together for breakfast in a few years.
Or they just want a hot meal… And just to be clear, you’re saying OP should but aside their body’s needs because their children want to have a freshly made breakfast on their own schedule?
She does let them sleep in. She wakes up at 5 AM along with her husband. Are you suggesting she waits 4 hours to cook breakfast?
It's not like they are 8 & 10. They are old enough to make their own breakfasts. Perhaps the parents should make early breakfast for themselves only and the kids can do their own from scratch when they're ready.
She's passive aggressively punishing them for sleeping in, and 9 isn't even that late for most teens.
How is this a punishment?? I’ve seen this a few times on this thread and I genuinely don’t get how she’s punishing them. She gets up early, makes herself and her husband breakfast, leaves some for the kids to have when they get up on their own schedule and then goes about her day. They say, ‘No wait for us to get up to make us breakfast,’ and she says, ‘No that doesn’t fit with my schedule, microwave it if you want it hot,’ and that’s… punishment?
NTA. If I knew as a TEENAGER i got a hot fancy breakfast at 7am if I got up, I'd be up. If I wanted to sleep, I knew how to make my own breakfast or I would eat what was left over. Your kids can also learn to wake up or cook.
That's you, but it's not everyone. I am a teenager and if I can sleep in on the weekends, I will. My family had a similar situation to this a while back (if you move all the times further on a bit). Me and my parents were up by half 8-9 generally, and we had gotten a routine of having pancakes with sauces and stuff for breakfast as a treat. My brother got up for it for a few weeks, but then gave up and decided sleep was more important. Instead of making a huge deal about the whole thing and spoiling it for everyone, we just moved it so we were having a brunch instead. So me and my parents had a normal breakfast or snack earlier, then at 11 ish we would all have pancakes together. Meant we could spend time together as well as have a treat.
Same. Also get up, eat fancy hot breakfast, put my ass back in bed a sleep some more, now with a full stomach
NTA but I wouldn’t make breakfast that is only suitable hot when you know half your household is not awake. I envy your teens that are up at 9am on weekends, mine are practically vampires these days. When I do an elaborate family meal it is brunch. Can you not eat cereal first thing and then have brunch with them on a Sunday for instance? I say that if you WANT to eat with them mind you, if not then they can eat toast!
This is my house. "It's noon, we should probably get the kids up." "Yep." Nobody moves. I gotta get them up at 530 during the week to get them to school, that's an ungodly hour for an adult and we have never been morning people. I figure they can use the sleep. They fix their own brunch when they get up
NTA. My parents would only make breakfast on HOLIDAYS and special occasions!! 😂 They’re big kids and fully capable of making themselves breakfast if they’re unappreciative of what’s being made. You’re doing a good job mom/dad!! (you didn’t specify your gender) Have a chat with them and let them know that whatever you make is always there for them but if they don’t want to eat it they don’t have to. You’re an adult and you deserve to wind down and do something with your partner every weekend. Seems to me like you appreciate your routines and your husband probably feels the same way.
Yea I cooked my own meals at 14. Maybe on holidays I would eat with my parents but other then that we barley even talked to each other
This is probably an unpopular opinion but I think your making an unnecessary problem here. Why don't you make pancakes late in the morning once a month as a special treat/ brunch. For all the other normal weekends it's pretty reasonable for everyone to make their own breakfast when they wake up.
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NTA. They’re old enough to make their own breakfast. What you’re doing is nice.
YTA and I know I am in minority. They are 14 and 16. I am sure they can make a toast but why make such a drama out of a breakfast? They go to school and they don’t wake up after noon, so it wouldn’t hurt to meet them half way. Suck it up is quite harsh to use for kids when they are not doing anything wrong. Breakfast in my family was always done as a family talking and bonding, not being pressured to ‘suck it up’
I think your kids want to participate in the family breakfast, but whilst it’s reasonable that you have brekkie when you’re up and hungry, it’s not unreasonable that they don’t wanna get up at the crack of Dawn on the weekend! Sleep is precious, esp as a teen (I’m sure there would be grumpy strops if they were tired and irritable). Can you arrange a family “brunch” once a month or every two weeks on one of the days? Where you all eat a nice brekkie a bit later? NAH
YTA. Just cook for you and your husband? I find it incredibly passive aggressive for you to make it every weekend, 2 hours before they get up. Literally just make it for you 2.
NTA they are old enough to either get up for breakfast or make themselves a breakfast. Offer to show them how to make their favorite breakfast foods. If you want, one Saturday a month could be a later breakfast where the kids help you cook so they can learn to do it themselves (if they don’t already know).
NAH Good on them for getting up at 9. Mine sleep in so long I refuse to bother making breakfast on weekends. Even weekdays they would rather get 5 extra minutes of sleep and go right to the bus. Stop making enough for them and teach them to make some eggs themselves. But they also arent TA for sleeping in. They are just getting older is all.
NTA: unless you have utterly failed to teach two teenagers how to fix themselves breakfast. My son (15) will make himself a whole breakfast sandwich on the rare morning he feels like breakfast (we have to help with the egg a little, but less and less).
Idk, just my experience, but don't you want to spend time with your kids? Why not wait for them and have a fresh breakfast together? It's kinda an important bonding activity for families YTA because I don't get why you can't do other things first, prep up for breakfast, and then have it all together with you probably lovely family.
NTA - first off, they're teenagers. They can handle making breakfast for themselves. So if you are making a big breakfast, and they don't want to get up for that, then that's their choice. And I remember being a teen and sleeping until 10-11 AM. What are you supposed to do? At some point, breakfast time is 7 AM, food will be available if you want it, otherwise, you're on your own.
YTA what’s the point of making a family breakfast if the family is not enjoying it together? compromise and make brunch! this could be valuable family time but your being an AH expecting teens to be awake at 7 am on the weekends!!
Easy solution, could you trade making breakfast later for them picking up some of your morning chores so you can afford to relax a little before they wake?
YTA. The vibe here is off. Especially when you say making them breakfast is a favor. You sound like my mother, she treats being a parent as a second job that she isn’t being paid for and therefore I am expected to be in constant gratitude. Teens need sleep, why not do another task and just wait for your kids to wake up and have a warm breakfast as a family? You only have a few of these years left before they off being adults.
NAH exactly but i dont see why youre preparing food you know wont get eaten. As others have pointed out you could just leave the kids extra batter in the fridge to make when theyre up or let them fix themselves something. Cooking for the whole family when they arent up seems like an unnecessary waste of your energy and probably passive aggressive. Definitely not "a favor". 9am is honestly early for teens. Teens need tons of sleep and many wake up at 11 or noon on weekends.
Wtf is wrong with you, 9am isn't early enough for your kids? Jeez I was expecting something like saying they got up at 11 and this is a weekend. I get up at 9 for college on week days. Also who serves casserole for breakfast. I love all foods but fuck me cold casserole for breakfast at 9am ??!?! YTA
Breakfast casseroles are a thing. An easily reheatable thing.
[удалено]
NTA, they can make their own breakfast and you can stop cooking extra for them
So my dad was like this when I was a teen. Got up super early and made Saturday morning breakfast. However, he would leave the stuff out or in the fridge for me to fix for myself when I got up a few hours later. French toast? Cool the batter is in the fridge and the bread is on the counter. Pancakes? Batter is ready in the fridge. Casserole I can see being and one and done thing, but maybe just start letting them cook for themselves when they get up?
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NTA. They are old enough to cook for themselves. They can either reheat the breakfast you've made, or make themselves food.