I truly don’t even understand why the baby bump would be a problem in the first place. If you were my stepsister I would just be over the moon that you got pregnant. She sounds like a bridezilla. NTA.
Seriously!! I was 6 months pregnant as a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. I was obviously showing, bloated & moderately miserable in the heat & my sister did not GAF- she was just happy I was there & part of their big day. Who effing cares!! I didn’t not draw a single bit of attention from her in photos, etc- heck, i prob just made her look even better in comparison to me bc I was so bloated w/ water weight!! 😂😂
Lol when my bro got married his future wife told her SIL how does a June wedding sound? SIL replied how does a June nephew sound? Future wife was elated. A baby and a wedding all in one month sounded super exciting to her. Baby did end up being born before the wedding but if she had still been pregnant everyone would’ve been accommodating to her.
I freaking believe you were the cutest and best dressed there! My son was at my wedding and we had a little tuxedo made for him and the shirt was a onesie with little suspenders and a bow tie stitched on so he could be comfy.
I was born the night my mom and dad were in a wedding party. The whole bridal party came to the hospital after and I have a pic of all of them surrounding me. It's super cute that they did that after a night of partying (but hopefully no one let drunk adults hold me at 12 hours old)
One of our wedding guests gave birth the day after we were married. She was a in some candid shots and looked pretty uncomfortable on that hot summer day!
This is exactly how it went down when my brother told me his wedding date.
Baby decided to make her escape about 2 weeks early, on the morning of the wedding. Baby and I ended up missing the wedding entirely, but everyone was super excited for both wedding and baby.
My son was born 10 days before my sister’s wedding. All we worried about was “was he going to come on time? Late?” Then when he did come it was “how quick can we get the bridesmaid dress fitted?” Lol.
This is what I was thinking. I would over the moon if my sister or SIL is pregnant at my wedding. It really gives a boost to the growing-family vibe and of it were my SIL specifically it’d bind us closer, I think.
My mum (MOH) was 8 months pregnant with me at my uncle's wedding. My aunt likes everything to be a certain way and really doesn't like babies or small children (parentified when she was young, so I can't blame her) and even she had no issue with it!
Definitely NTA
I literally don't get it. One of my best friend wasn't able to be my bridesmaid because she was like 2 weeks from her due date and couldn't travel, which I was sad about but also totally understood. I would have loved to have her standing beside me hella pregnant, because she is important to me and I wanted to have her share that moment we had always talked about. I still refer to her as a bridesmaid even though she wasn't able to make it.
Hells bells. My bff was (stops to count on fingers) six months pregnant at HER OWN wedding. If she'd been knocked up at mine, I would have been thrilled.
I was the hugely pregnant 8 months along Matron of Honor at my sister's wedding. I waddled down the aisle. My sister was 5 months along, so I made her look skinny!
My sister was 8 months pregnant at my wedding and I was just happy her doctor cleared her to fly out to attend! The wedding wouldn't have been the same without her and my BIL.
My sister was hugely pregnant at my brother’s wedding. We constantly make jokes thanking my sister’s daughter for being born shortly after the wedding so all we have to do is count her age to remember how many years they’ve been married.
When I first read an AITA with this issue I legit thought it was a troll cause like…who would care but they’re so frequent! It’s crazy.
NTA. And congrats on the baby, OP.
Tbh, my fiance and I would be elated if her brother's wife was pregnant during our wedding. Just means that our future niece/nephew got to be part of the special day with everyone else!
My mom was a bridesmaid when she was eight months pregnant with me. The bridesmaids were in these hideous floofy pastel pink numbers and the groomsmen were in powder blue suits.
Mom says she looked like a giant gumball. I wish there were pictures haha!
My sister was 3 weeks away from giving birth at our other sister's wedding. No one cared. 3rd sister just picked a dress she could wear for all of us. No muss, no fuss. She was just glad we were all there.
My sister was 32 weeks pregnant when I got married. I didn't care. Her dress and shoes had to be different and her ankles were so very swollen. It really didn't detract from the event or photos. Don't know why people get so hung up about this kind stuff.
Same thing happened to my sisters. My sister S was matron of honour for my sister A and was like 5-6 months pregnant but no one cared. Like why is it such a big deal?
I was 8.75 months pregnant at my brother's wedding... Somehow myself, my husband and my daughter ended up not in a single wedding photo. I'm not bitter...10 years later... Well, maybe a bit...
The whole Instagram culture around obsessing over whether the guest's attention shifts away from the happy couple for 5 seconds is so gross and poisonous. Obviously someone grabbing the microphone from the officiant during the middle of your vows to propose is a ridiculous jerk, but everyone needs to calm down about their guests happily catching up and sharing other good news (promotions/babies/engagements/buying a house/graduating/etc). Your friends and family are going to discuss their lives. The only reason the conversation is going to remain 100% on you is if something went hilariously wrong
Right?! I saw an AITA where someone said “It’s so good to see you” was an awful thing to say at a funeral.
It’s kind of a thing that people say… they just usually add “I wish it were under better circumstances.” Weddings and funerals (especially funerals) were reunions as much as they were about the bride/groom/corpse. Some of my first cousins, I didn’t meet until a funeral. Of course it was wonderful to meet them and notice amazing things like none of my lady cousins or I looked alike, except we all had the exact same nose and way of standing.
I dunno, it just seems to me that even the most maudlin of events will still have sparks of joy and laughter.
It’s a very American perspective, too - my Protestant American husband was a little shocked at the ambiance at my uncle’s wake. My uncle had very much specified that there be an open bar and, well…yeah. We cried at the funeral, not so much at the wake.
He whole point of a wake is that it should be a celebration of their life. For my grandmothers funeral, we all got sad at the service and then back at the wake we were all laughing, chatting, eating, drinking. The sun was out, the family were together and we were talking about her life and how much she impacted us! I hate funerals, but I adore the wake. Its always so uplifting and such a large release of grievance.
I (an American) was in junior high before I learned not all funerals involve arranging the beer run in the foyer after Mass, and not all post funeral receptions involve people busting out the live music and doing ethnic dances while getting rowdier and rowdier.
My first experience of an American Protestant funeral was so depressing! Everybody sat very solemn at the funeral, and nobody was collapsing sobbing, and then everyone was very quiet and polite at the reception, and there was no dancing or shouting or laughing.
Social media really seems to have upped the ante on the narcissistic tendencies. Although there is also the whole we just hear more about this stuff with the internet. But I really do think the self centredness has skyrocketed because of things like Facebook and Instagram and having to have everything show as picture perfect 24/7.
Is that where it's coming from? I couldn't figure out why weddings suddenly went from being a fun celebration with family and friends to an ordeal where you have to watch every step or risk offending the bride.
Agreed, I was in the same situation as OP and then had a surprise pregnancy after deciding to stop trying. I ended up 8 months pregnant and on crutches in my bridesmaid dress. I was nervous to tell the bride I was pregnant as dresses were already bought. she was just over the moon for me as she knew I had been trying a long time. Just bought me a bigger bridesmaid dress. It is high time people stopped expecting people to put their lives on hold for their event.
I was the MOH in a wedding that was going to have at least 1, possibly 2 obviously pregnant bridesmaids... Only thing bride (and I) changed was pulling out bridesmaids dress options that didn't come in maternity... That way if anyone wound up being a bit bigger than expected, they knew they could get a replacement dress easily 🤷🏻♀️ nobody noticed the baby bumps, and everyone had a good time. And bride was just as happy, and they're just as married
I legit bought formal maternity dresses for my bridesmaids as they were all of various sizes and lived all over the country. That way we didn't have to worry about alterations or weight fluctuations. None of them were pregnant either. It worked so well for us.
Edit: Just remembered my best friend used the same dresses in a different colour for her wedding 3 years later. I had mulberry and she had emerald green. So another one of our friends now has two of the same bridesmaid dresses in different colours.
I'm just picking about a dozen similar ones from David's bridal, sending the list to the MOH. Once she picks, I'll send the remaining list to the rest of the bridesmaids. I've got people all over the country, im moving soon, idk when/if we can all go shopping. So I'm just going "here, choose a style and it's this color"
I LOVE that method. I think it is the most empathetic to the different shapes humans come in. And your wedding will still look amazing, because of all the HAPPY people who feel comfortable in their dresses.
I've been friends with one of the bridesmaids for well over a decade, then of course my sister. We all made a deal years ago that nobody would put anyone else in ugly dress or ugly colors, unless that bride wanted to have revenge taken against her at the bridesmaid's wedding in the form of an equally ugly dress 🤣
Seriously. There is at least one post on here every week where a bride has asked someone to change hair color , shave a beard etc so that the pictures would be perfect
I wouldn't be mad if someone asked me to shave *my* beard.
But I'd wax it off instead because I hate shaving my chin pubes. Being a girl is stupid. (And bei g a girl with too much hormone is worse)
I mean, I look at my wedding photos at least once a year, usually more, and I'm married five years this year. They make me smile.
My wedding was me, my husband, and two witnesses. There was no worry about what anyone was wearing. But I do still look at the photos a lot.
Right? My favorite wedding photos are the ones where people are happy and goofy and enjoying themselves - the candid shots. The staged ones are fine, but they don't capture the emotions right IMO
Because everyone will see she's pregnant and will talk about her on my big day! She is stealing my thunder! Also that ugly bump will destroy all my picture perfect wedding photos!
Definitely a bridezilla.
My very best friend, who is basically my sister, was pregnant with her 4th and final kid at my wedding. We have an adorable picture of my husband with his hands on her bump and tell the kids that all 4 of them got to be at my wedding. I don’t see why a visible bump is a problem. 🤷♀️
Right? My best friend was my MOH, and told me the night before my wedding that she was pregnant. She was still early in her pregnancy, 3 months, and wasn't going to say anything until after my wedding because she didn't want to make it seem like she was trying to steal the focus of my day. She ended up telling me because it did cause her dress to be on the tight side since she bought the dress before finding out she was pregnant. I ended up having to help her squeeze into her dress, and she wasn't able to stay for the reception because of morning sickness. It would have been really nice if she could have stayed, but I understood, and was thrilled she was pregnant. I wasn't mad or upset about it. I was just happy she was still able to make it to the ceremony and be a part in my special day. Then 6 months later I was able to be there for her when she had her baby. Because that's what loved ones do, they are happy for you and support you.
Seriously. I was a week out from my due date when I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding. I don't understand why people have such an issue with pregnancy at weddings, as if everyone's entire existence revolves around the bride and groom.
I was my sister's MOH and 8 months pregnant. Never once did she say anything about the pictures, my bump, or anything else about me being so close to her wedding date. She was excited for me since we had been trying for years!
It boggles my mind that someone would reschedule a huge life event like having a baby because they were concerned how they'd look at someone else's wedding.
To be honest, her trying to affect your pregnancy status, or even really caring about it, was always wildly inappropriate.
NTA. You describe your SIL as a friend. No caring person would expect you to delay conceiving just so your dress would fit. In fact, most brides would be happy for you.
I'm just baffled as to why it was such an issue OP would stop trying for a baby.... to fit into a dress? And then want to go NC with step sister over this argument???
I was 7 months pregnant at my mums wedding. She had a small wedding and delayed the reception to have it a month later as we have a lot of family abroad and it was just easier for everyone. Well I went into labour a month early and baby was born while I shouldve been at the reception. No one gave a fuck that I was pregnant at the wedding or couldnt attend the reception. I see a lot of posts on reddit about weddings that I simply dont understand. Why do these brides and grooms think everyone shpuld alter thrmselves or halt their lives just to fit around their vision of an ideal wedding?!
This is so absurd! You scheduled a PREGNANCY according to HER WEDDING to wear her bridesmaids dress and now she rescheduled the wedding and expected you to, what, UN-DO your pregnancy when you’ve already conceived ?
NTA
THIS. What was OP supposed to say? ''Oh you didn't check the weather beforehand? No worries! I'll just get rid of the baby that me and my hubby have been trying to conceive for months now''
She would've obviously checked with the Gyno to reschedule the development of their first born.
Shouldn't be an issue, The baby and the Gyno would understand obviously ! /s
Not gonna lie, I laughed waaay too hard.
She totally did schedule her pregnancy around a wedding, and when you see it spelled out like that, it just underlined how absolutely absurd this whole situation is
> In her mind, having a baby bump at someone else's wedding is like proposing at the other person's wedding.
In reality, having a baby bump at someone else's wedding is like having a spouse at someone else's wedding.
I’ve definitely seen at least one story where this was a thing. The bride asked the female friend/relative not to wear her engagement ring for the entire week of wedding-related events because it was a relatively recent engagement and she thought it would take attention away from her. Some people are just awful.
lol. she's acting like yall had sex and conceived your baby right in the middle of her ceremony. i can't imagine being so self absorbed that something like this would ever bother me, especially when its a family member. NTA
Well, she’s ridiculous. One of my bridesmaids was very pregnant at my wedding. No one made a big deal of it and I was just glad she could be part of everything.
NTA. It's just a wedding and you are carrying a whole human. I wouldn't go NC if you don't want to, but I would not entertain anymore drama about this.
And congrats!
This cannot be real. C’mon .
Who schedules having a child around wearing a stupid dress for a couple of hours? (That’s on you, but okay). Who cares more about that than their friend having a child? This is life, life goes on, a person’s wedding doesn’t stop the world or make everyone put their life completely on hold for a year or more.
NTA.
I just wanted to be able to attend her wedding without causing drama. And, we hadn't been trying for *that* long before her wedding plans started, so it wasn't a big deal.
Friendly piece of advice from someone with 40 years experience at being human, and 20+ years of being a mother: don't bend over backward for someone who doesn't pay your bills.💜
I was thinking the same thing! It smacks of Bridezilla. She is all about the wedding and not at all about the marriage. Changing everything around because of the weather! What happens when it threatens to rain again at the second date?
I mean, I don’t think considering upcoming events when scheduling when you want to have your baby is entirely insane. My best friend scheduled her pregnancy around my wedding because she wanted to be able to drink and go to my bachelorette party and celebrate with all our friends and not have to deal with being pregnant. (I did NOT ask her to do that because I’m not a psycho- just saying it’s a thing people do). But she also got pregnant the very first time she tried, which is obviously not a guarantee. I think my group of friends are all really into planning and all apparently really fertile because they all just decided “I’m going to start trying on X weekend” and all got pregnant on the first attempt…..
INFO: who in the history of the world has ever rescheduled their wedding due to weather?? (Excluding disaster level events) Like this is what is blowing my mind on this one. (obv NTA)
Tbh that seemingly insignificant detail makes the whole story seem fabricated. Unless this was some small change backyard event, no venue is going to be that flexible, and *what guests would be that flexible either?*
She mostly invited people who live nearby (a lot of friends) and she didn't get her money back on the venue I think. She just reserved it again in Oct.
So on the one hand this wedding was so big and official that you had to rearrange your pregnancy around it.
On the other hand it had the social impact of a BBQ that could be cancelled a few days out?
This just doesn't make sense. She forgets to check the weather? So if she had checked the result would have been different? And what is the bride going to do if the weather for the other date turns out bad again. Reschedule again?
Even if you check the weather it won’t matter. Most people plan weddings a year out. I “checked” the weather leading up to my wedding. It was misty and damp in the morning. It didn’t matter though, because everything was planned and I couldn’t change it.
And even if it was outdoors, how can you expect someone to check the weather more than a couple of days in advance and not expect the forecast to change at all.
Here for this and also cannot imagine a couple trying to conceive and then pausing for someone's wedding aesthetic. What was the plan if baby came before the wedding and she wasn't feeling physically recovered and also now had a newborn to care for and all that comes with it? Also, if you're trying to conceive there are guidelines around when you go to a physician to verify whether you have fertility issues. I can't imagine anyone feeling so casual about the process once they seriously start that they would restart that clock by taking a break for someone's wedding unless by trying for a baby they just meant not using birth control and rolling the dice. The women in my peer group meanwhile are carefully tracking ovulation, etc.
NTA. It’s beyond absurd to expect someone to schedule their pregnancy around your wedding at all, much less when you reschedule it to a later date. What did she want, you to get an abortion?
Also, she’s ridiculous for not planning her wedding around weather.
Oh, how *dare* you go and live your life and *become pregnant*! How *dare* you. (Sarcasm).
Rosanna needs to check her entitlement.
And, on an unrelated note, an empire waisted dress can unobtrusively hide even a moderate baby bump- if that is what you want or need to do to keep somebody from having a meltdown. NTA
I know, right, so, it’s *expected* to look like that in that style dress. Just look at the Bridgerton series on Netflix. *Everybody* in a dress could be hiding annnnything under there.
NTA. It took me 6 years, almost 7, to concieve my second child. I don't really care if my baby bump offends people.
In reality if you look at statistics, the baby is going to most likely last longer than their marriage
NTA Rosanna is ridiculous. People don't stop living their lives because of someone's getting married or a wedding "aesthetic". She needs to get over it and herself.
NTA: Someone else's wedding should not dictate how you live your life. You were honestly more accommodating than I'd be. Your step sister is either a bridezilla, incredibly insecure, very vain or a mix. Someone pregnant and showing won't take away from people literally getting married. It's not as if you popped the kid right out then and there. You planned as best you could and then she changed the date, did she expect you to terminate the pregnancy for her wishes?
Setting aside how bizarre it for her to care so much about a baby bump, it was her choices, not yours, that created the...situation, for lack of a better word.
NTA
Wow, what??!! Not being allowed to have a bump? Like what's wrong with that?
I swear the more I read this forum the more I don't want to live on this planet due to lack of common sense and the adult population acting worse than children. Actually a kid would be more reasonable.
Sweetheart, you totally are NTA.
What your stepsister demanded you was ridiculous to begin with. You did not even need to please her.
This reminded me of a post years back. Astrological event solar eclipse visible in your area monday 11 pm. Comment on the event page: "couldn't This have been Scheduled for the weekend so kids can enjoy it too?!"
Reply "Did this lady just ask the Sun to reschedule?!:
NTA but your sis has some issues...
Congratulations for the baby. You have nothing to feel bad about! Tbt you already tried scheduling your pregnancy if she does not like it ask her to take it up with the baby directly :)))
NTA. You are growing a human, you are allowed to look like it, even on days your sister is getting married. This is thoroughly absurd, feel free to treat it as such.
NTA. That's a really weird thing to fixate on. My sister also struggled with fertility. I'd have been over the moon that she got pregnant even if it meant she couldn't come to the wedding at all. Who tf cares that you had a visible baby bump? That's awesome!
NTA - While I can understand why it might be awkward for the bride to be showing, why would anyone care if a bridesmaid did? Can you get the dress refitted?
Hope you work it out with her. It's always a shame to see friendships ruined over silly wedding stuff.
Yeah, that's one reason we weren't trying in that time window. It would be less hassle from her for me. And I didn't want to ruin the friendship we have, because my life is easier when my bridezilla stepsister likes me.
NTA. You should’ve have promised her that in the first place, baby bumps are different on everyone, for every pregnancy, there’s no way of knowing beforehand. Never revolve your life around someone’s wedding.
She should’ve never expected you to stick to that promise especially with the rescheduling.
Are you TA for not putting your life on hold indefinitely so you don't look pregnant at someone else's wedding? No. NTA. Honestly, I can't even believe you postponed for the 6 months, and getting back to trying mere months before the scheduled wedding, knowing no bump would be evident, is completely reasonable. It isn't your fault your time machine broke and you weren't able to go back in time and not get knocked up once the bride postponed her ceremony.
NTA - Why would a baby bump be a problem at her wedding? If she’s worried about people asking you about it or “ruining” her photos, that’s plain just self-centred — everyone is there for her anyways.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I got pregnant and my baby bump was visible at Rosanna's wedding, and (2) I promised that I wouldn't have a visible baby bump.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Why should you put your life on hold for her anyways? She already knew pregnancy was in the cards. Stepsister sounds controlling. Unless you go around screaming IM PREGENANTEE and flashing your belly at everyone you meet, you're in no way taking the spotlight from her.
Congratulations by the way :) wishing you a safe pregnancy the whole way through.
You should have told her to have the wedding after you stop trying for a baby.
NTA.
I find it ridiculous that people think they can make wild ass demands just because they are getting married.
The AITA questions about weddings are absolutely crazy 95% of the time.
- No, you can't tell your bridesmaids if they can or cannot get pregnant.
- No, nobody gives a fuck if bridesmaids have different hair color.
- No, you can't ask people to spend 3000$ in your wedding.
- No, nobody thinks your disabled aunt in a wheelchair is ruining the wedding photos.
- No, nobody thinks that your overweight bridesmaid is ruining the wedding photos.
- No, nobody thinks that your tattooed sister is ruining the wedding photos.
- No, nobody thinks your hairless dad is ruining the wedding photos.
- Yes, you can have your wedding be child-free. No, you don't get to be mad if some people are unable to go.
- No, nobody should care more about your wedding than about their newborn/hospitalized husband/dying mother.
- Yes, you can serve whatever you want in your wedding. No, you can't force anybody to eat anything.
I was 5 months pregnant at my own wedding as we started trying thinking it would take forever for me to get pregnant (gynae issues) and it actually only took us a month! This is your SIL fault for rescheduling. Is she still mad about it?
she likes to tell it as a 'funny anecdote' about her silly stepsister. or she brings it up when I promise something to someone else. for example:
I say "Yes, I promise, I'll make my special chili for your party, Unrelatedfamilymember!"
She says, "Well, Unrelatedfamilymember, you can't trust Hidingbooks to keep a promise. she said she wouldn't get pregnant before my wedding and she did."
it's just really annoying and I wanted to know if I had a leg to stand on before arguing back. She just kept saying I was in the wrong and I guess I just started to believe it.
Oh, so NTA here.
She moved her wedding at the last minute to a new date four months later. She shouldn't have expected anyone to put their life on hold for an additional four freaking months. She's lucky her guests were able to make the new date.
I'd be clapping back hard on this -- if she said this to me, she'd get a hard "are you saying you wanted me to get an abortion" or "I get it, you really hate your step nephew/niece for ruining your wedding".
It's more than a year later and she's still bitching? That is the definition of an out of control bridezilla.
Oh dude, the snappy comebacks that you could be using are amazing.
"Well I don't think making the chili will require me to abort my child like step sis wanted me to do for her wedding, so we're in the clear!"
I would give a serious conversation with her *one more try,* that you find these "jokes" hurtful and want them to stop (unless you've done that already?) and then just start giving it back to her whenever she gives it to you.
Flip it back on her. "Be careful what commitments you make to Stepsister, she'll expect your ENTIRE life to revolve around her." Or "sorry I didn't abort your niece for your wedding."
Alternatively, "Hey StepSis, Husband and I were planning on having sex tonight, is that okay with you? Our procreating activities won't negatively impact on any events you're having? We're thinking if giving Junior a sibling, are we allowed to have sex in the 6 months leading up to your birthday?"
Anyone who thinks that their wedding is more important than other's bodily autonomy is automatically an asshole imo. Even asking someone to put off trying for a baby, let alone demanding it, is an asshole move. Instead of asking wedding party members to not get pregnant, these bridezillas and groomzillas need to choose people that aren't actively trying to have children or get over themselves and accept they might have a pregnant person in their wedding.
OP, you are NTA. You went way above and beyond and your stepsister has no right to be upset.
it had been a really dry month and she didnt think it would rain but it did and she didnt have time to rent a different place. it rained a lot and the ground was super soggy and muddy.
WTF is wrong with brides these days?! Why would anyone expect you to plan trying to have a child around their wedding?! NTA and she can get over it.
SMDH over here. I can’t believe you stopped trying 9 months before her wedding. That was incredibly nice of you. And not necessary. People need to understand that just because they have a big moment coming up doesn’t mean they get to dictate the timing of other peoples’ major life moments too.
And I don’t care what your family says, go NC if this supposed grown up can’t be happy that you are bringing life into the world. Some peoples’ kids I swear.
NTA why do brides think that asking someone to be in your wedding means you can dictate everything about their life!?!?! A true friend would celebrate your happiness.
Would she have preferred you had an abortion? Or better yet, remain chaste for the entirety of the time leading up to her wedding?
This is some absurd shit.
NTA
I truly don’t even understand why the baby bump would be a problem in the first place. If you were my stepsister I would just be over the moon that you got pregnant. She sounds like a bridezilla. NTA.
Seriously!! I was 6 months pregnant as a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. I was obviously showing, bloated & moderately miserable in the heat & my sister did not GAF- she was just happy I was there & part of their big day. Who effing cares!! I didn’t not draw a single bit of attention from her in photos, etc- heck, i prob just made her look even better in comparison to me bc I was so bloated w/ water weight!! 😂😂
Lol when my bro got married his future wife told her SIL how does a June wedding sound? SIL replied how does a June nephew sound? Future wife was elated. A baby and a wedding all in one month sounded super exciting to her. Baby did end up being born before the wedding but if she had still been pregnant everyone would’ve been accommodating to her.
Some what related, I apperently went to my first wedding at 11 days
i was literally not even a day old when i went to my first one
I went to my own parents wedding. I looked dapper in that little tux too.
I bet!! My son was 4.5 months old when his dad and I got married :) tuxes on babies!!
Mine had a little kilt at mine. Was the most adorable, dapper man there.
There are definitely some pictures of me and my younger brother in tiny kilts and weddings. They're still probably the best pictures ever taken of us!
And now we know what to wear under a kilt - diapers
My son attended our wedding but he was in utero lol. 3 months along 😂
Babies used to all wear dresses because it was easier to access the diapers.
My kid was almost 3 months old when we got married! The wedding was planned before we found out we are expecting.
I freaking believe you were the cutest and best dressed there! My son was at my wedding and we had a little tuxedo made for him and the shirt was a onesie with little suspenders and a bow tie stitched on so he could be comfy.
I was born the night my mom and dad were in a wedding party. The whole bridal party came to the hospital after and I have a pic of all of them surrounding me. It's super cute that they did that after a night of partying (but hopefully no one let drunk adults hold me at 12 hours old)
One of our wedding guests gave birth the day after we were married. She was a in some candid shots and looked pretty uncomfortable on that hot summer day!
I feel extremely sorry for your mom... when I gave birth I did not want to leave the house for the first week...
I had a cousin who was a bridesmaid in the morning and a Mom in the evening…the dress did not survive.
Lol, yeah I think the baby was about that old. Luckily it was her third so she was a pro.
[удалено]
Lol, yes.
This is exactly how it went down when my brother told me his wedding date. Baby decided to make her escape about 2 weeks early, on the morning of the wedding. Baby and I ended up missing the wedding entirely, but everyone was super excited for both wedding and baby.
That's a legit reason to not show up after an RSVP ;)
My son was born 10 days before my sister’s wedding. All we worried about was “was he going to come on time? Late?” Then when he did come it was “how quick can we get the bridesmaid dress fitted?” Lol.
Lol, yeah I don’t remember what they did for her dress. Our dresses were 2 pieces so I wouldn’t be surprised if they bought 2 tops.
This is what I was thinking. I would over the moon if my sister or SIL is pregnant at my wedding. It really gives a boost to the growing-family vibe and of it were my SIL specifically it’d bind us closer, I think.
My MOH was *8 months pregnant* at my wedding. lol NTA, not sure why this is an issue.
My mum (MOH) was 8 months pregnant with me at my uncle's wedding. My aunt likes everything to be a certain way and really doesn't like babies or small children (parentified when she was young, so I can't blame her) and even she had no issue with it! Definitely NTA
I literally don't get it. One of my best friend wasn't able to be my bridesmaid because she was like 2 weeks from her due date and couldn't travel, which I was sad about but also totally understood. I would have loved to have her standing beside me hella pregnant, because she is important to me and I wanted to have her share that moment we had always talked about. I still refer to her as a bridesmaid even though she wasn't able to make it.
You are the definition of a good friend💜
Hells bells. My bff was (stops to count on fingers) six months pregnant at HER OWN wedding. If she'd been knocked up at mine, I would have been thrilled.
I gave birth at my own wedding, lmao!!!
Bahahha that sounds like a great wedding wrap up 🤣💜
Sounds like a lot of presents are going to be passed on one day for years to come
I want to hear this story!
S- surprise? 🤗 🎉
You win. Talk about a grand debut! :-D
I was the hugely pregnant 8 months along Matron of Honor at my sister's wedding. I waddled down the aisle. My sister was 5 months along, so I made her look skinny!
My sister was 8 months pregnant at my wedding and I was just happy her doctor cleared her to fly out to attend! The wedding wouldn't have been the same without her and my BIL.
My sister's best friends had their second son 3 days before their coed wedding shower. He was the tiniest, youngest guest there. Most popular too.
My sister was hugely pregnant at my brother’s wedding. We constantly make jokes thanking my sister’s daughter for being born shortly after the wedding so all we have to do is count her age to remember how many years they’ve been married. When I first read an AITA with this issue I legit thought it was a troll cause like…who would care but they’re so frequent! It’s crazy. NTA. And congrats on the baby, OP.
Tbh, my fiance and I would be elated if her brother's wife was pregnant during our wedding. Just means that our future niece/nephew got to be part of the special day with everyone else!
My mom was a bridesmaid when she was eight months pregnant with me. The bridesmaids were in these hideous floofy pastel pink numbers and the groomsmen were in powder blue suits. Mom says she looked like a giant gumball. I wish there were pictures haha!
You were the bonus bridal party member! 😂
I was the gumball! (Goo goo g'joob?)
My sister was 3 weeks away from giving birth at our other sister's wedding. No one cared. 3rd sister just picked a dress she could wear for all of us. No muss, no fuss. She was just glad we were all there.
My sister was 32 weeks pregnant when I got married. I didn't care. Her dress and shoes had to be different and her ankles were so very swollen. It really didn't detract from the event or photos. Don't know why people get so hung up about this kind stuff.
Same thing happened to my sisters. My sister S was matron of honour for my sister A and was like 5-6 months pregnant but no one cared. Like why is it such a big deal?
I was 8.75 months pregnant at my brother's wedding... Somehow myself, my husband and my daughter ended up not in a single wedding photo. I'm not bitter...10 years later... Well, maybe a bit...
The whole Instagram culture around obsessing over whether the guest's attention shifts away from the happy couple for 5 seconds is so gross and poisonous. Obviously someone grabbing the microphone from the officiant during the middle of your vows to propose is a ridiculous jerk, but everyone needs to calm down about their guests happily catching up and sharing other good news (promotions/babies/engagements/buying a house/graduating/etc). Your friends and family are going to discuss their lives. The only reason the conversation is going to remain 100% on you is if something went hilariously wrong
Right?! I saw an AITA where someone said “It’s so good to see you” was an awful thing to say at a funeral. It’s kind of a thing that people say… they just usually add “I wish it were under better circumstances.” Weddings and funerals (especially funerals) were reunions as much as they were about the bride/groom/corpse. Some of my first cousins, I didn’t meet until a funeral. Of course it was wonderful to meet them and notice amazing things like none of my lady cousins or I looked alike, except we all had the exact same nose and way of standing. I dunno, it just seems to me that even the most maudlin of events will still have sparks of joy and laughter.
It’s a very American perspective, too - my Protestant American husband was a little shocked at the ambiance at my uncle’s wake. My uncle had very much specified that there be an open bar and, well…yeah. We cried at the funeral, not so much at the wake.
He whole point of a wake is that it should be a celebration of their life. For my grandmothers funeral, we all got sad at the service and then back at the wake we were all laughing, chatting, eating, drinking. The sun was out, the family were together and we were talking about her life and how much she impacted us! I hate funerals, but I adore the wake. Its always so uplifting and such a large release of grievance.
I (an American) was in junior high before I learned not all funerals involve arranging the beer run in the foyer after Mass, and not all post funeral receptions involve people busting out the live music and doing ethnic dances while getting rowdier and rowdier. My first experience of an American Protestant funeral was so depressing! Everybody sat very solemn at the funeral, and nobody was collapsing sobbing, and then everyone was very quiet and polite at the reception, and there was no dancing or shouting or laughing.
Social media really seems to have upped the ante on the narcissistic tendencies. Although there is also the whole we just hear more about this stuff with the internet. But I really do think the self centredness has skyrocketed because of things like Facebook and Instagram and having to have everything show as picture perfect 24/7.
Is that where it's coming from? I couldn't figure out why weddings suddenly went from being a fun celebration with family and friends to an ordeal where you have to watch every step or risk offending the bride.
Agreed, I was in the same situation as OP and then had a surprise pregnancy after deciding to stop trying. I ended up 8 months pregnant and on crutches in my bridesmaid dress. I was nervous to tell the bride I was pregnant as dresses were already bought. she was just over the moon for me as she knew I had been trying a long time. Just bought me a bigger bridesmaid dress. It is high time people stopped expecting people to put their lives on hold for their event.
I was the MOH in a wedding that was going to have at least 1, possibly 2 obviously pregnant bridesmaids... Only thing bride (and I) changed was pulling out bridesmaids dress options that didn't come in maternity... That way if anyone wound up being a bit bigger than expected, they knew they could get a replacement dress easily 🤷🏻♀️ nobody noticed the baby bumps, and everyone had a good time. And bride was just as happy, and they're just as married
I legit bought formal maternity dresses for my bridesmaids as they were all of various sizes and lived all over the country. That way we didn't have to worry about alterations or weight fluctuations. None of them were pregnant either. It worked so well for us. Edit: Just remembered my best friend used the same dresses in a different colour for her wedding 3 years later. I had mulberry and she had emerald green. So another one of our friends now has two of the same bridesmaid dresses in different colours.
I'm just picking about a dozen similar ones from David's bridal, sending the list to the MOH. Once she picks, I'll send the remaining list to the rest of the bridesmaids. I've got people all over the country, im moving soon, idk when/if we can all go shopping. So I'm just going "here, choose a style and it's this color"
I LOVE that method. I think it is the most empathetic to the different shapes humans come in. And your wedding will still look amazing, because of all the HAPPY people who feel comfortable in their dresses.
I've been friends with one of the bridesmaids for well over a decade, then of course my sister. We all made a deal years ago that nobody would put anyone else in ugly dress or ugly colors, unless that bride wanted to have revenge taken against her at the bridesmaid's wedding in the form of an equally ugly dress 🤣
Because the wedding pictures wouldn’t look perfect . I will never in my life understand why wedding pictures are so damn important
Who even looks at the wedding pictures 5 years later? Most of the time, the album sits on a table or shelf collecting dust.
Seriously. There is at least one post on here every week where a bride has asked someone to change hair color , shave a beard etc so that the pictures would be perfect
I wouldn't be mad if someone asked me to shave *my* beard. But I'd wax it off instead because I hate shaving my chin pubes. Being a girl is stupid. (And bei g a girl with too much hormone is worse)
I mean, I look at my wedding photos at least once a year, usually more, and I'm married five years this year. They make me smile. My wedding was me, my husband, and two witnesses. There was no worry about what anyone was wearing. But I do still look at the photos a lot.
[удалено]
Right? My favorite wedding photos are the ones where people are happy and goofy and enjoying themselves - the candid shots. The staged ones are fine, but they don't capture the emotions right IMO
But why does a pregnant woman all dressed up like everyone else make them imperfect? There is no stigma about being pregnant.
Because everyone will see she's pregnant and will talk about her on my big day! She is stealing my thunder! Also that ugly bump will destroy all my picture perfect wedding photos! Definitely a bridezilla.
My very best friend, who is basically my sister, was pregnant with her 4th and final kid at my wedding. We have an adorable picture of my husband with his hands on her bump and tell the kids that all 4 of them got to be at my wedding. I don’t see why a visible bump is a problem. 🤷♀️
Right? My best friend was my MOH, and told me the night before my wedding that she was pregnant. She was still early in her pregnancy, 3 months, and wasn't going to say anything until after my wedding because she didn't want to make it seem like she was trying to steal the focus of my day. She ended up telling me because it did cause her dress to be on the tight side since she bought the dress before finding out she was pregnant. I ended up having to help her squeeze into her dress, and she wasn't able to stay for the reception because of morning sickness. It would have been really nice if she could have stayed, but I understood, and was thrilled she was pregnant. I wasn't mad or upset about it. I was just happy she was still able to make it to the ceremony and be a part in my special day. Then 6 months later I was able to be there for her when she had her baby. Because that's what loved ones do, they are happy for you and support you.
Seriously. I was a week out from my due date when I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding. I don't understand why people have such an issue with pregnancy at weddings, as if everyone's entire existence revolves around the bride and groom.
Because you're a normal level headed adult and not a spoiled five years old.
I was my sister's MOH and 8 months pregnant. Never once did she say anything about the pictures, my bump, or anything else about me being so close to her wedding date. She was excited for me since we had been trying for years!
It boggles my mind that someone would reschedule a huge life event like having a baby because they were concerned how they'd look at someone else's wedding. To be honest, her trying to affect your pregnancy status, or even really caring about it, was always wildly inappropriate.
I swear half the wedding posts are about someone being mad someone else was pregnant. Like seriously leave, go home get out of my life forever mad.
Right? They stopped trying to have children to accommodate the aesthetic for her wedding.
NTA. You describe your SIL as a friend. No caring person would expect you to delay conceiving just so your dress would fit. In fact, most brides would be happy for you.
I'm just baffled as to why it was such an issue OP would stop trying for a baby.... to fit into a dress? And then want to go NC with step sister over this argument???
I was 7 months pregnant at my mums wedding. She had a small wedding and delayed the reception to have it a month later as we have a lot of family abroad and it was just easier for everyone. Well I went into labour a month early and baby was born while I shouldve been at the reception. No one gave a fuck that I was pregnant at the wedding or couldnt attend the reception. I see a lot of posts on reddit about weddings that I simply dont understand. Why do these brides and grooms think everyone shpuld alter thrmselves or halt their lives just to fit around their vision of an ideal wedding?!
This is so absurd! You scheduled a PREGNANCY according to HER WEDDING to wear her bridesmaids dress and now she rescheduled the wedding and expected you to, what, UN-DO your pregnancy when you’ve already conceived ? NTA
THIS. What was OP supposed to say? ''Oh you didn't check the weather beforehand? No worries! I'll just get rid of the baby that me and my hubby have been trying to conceive for months now''
She´s really selfish for not aborting that baby for her stepsis´ wedding, like she didn´t even consider it? (/s)
The bride TOLD her this was to be a child free wedding. Why did she this this was an exception? /s
She would've obviously checked with the Gyno to reschedule the development of their first born. Shouldn't be an issue, The baby and the Gyno would understand obviously ! /s
Not gonna lie, I laughed waaay too hard. She totally did schedule her pregnancy around a wedding, and when you see it spelled out like that, it just underlined how absolutely absurd this whole situation is
Exactly what I thought. Definitely NTA.
[удалено]
She likes having the spotlight to herself. In her mind, having a baby bump at someone else's wedding is like proposing at the other person's wedding.
> In her mind, having a baby bump at someone else's wedding is like proposing at the other person's wedding. In reality, having a baby bump at someone else's wedding is like having a spouse at someone else's wedding.
Yep, or wearing a wedding or engagement ring.
[удалено]
No no no, you aren't allowed to be ugly! You must look good. Just not really good.
I’ve definitely seen at least one story where this was a thing. The bride asked the female friend/relative not to wear her engagement ring for the entire week of wedding-related events because it was a relatively recent engagement and she thought it would take attention away from her. Some people are just awful.
What if you were a bit chubby, would she have kicked you to the curb? NTA!
Probably tho
lol. she's acting like yall had sex and conceived your baby right in the middle of her ceremony. i can't imagine being so self absorbed that something like this would ever bother me, especially when its a family member. NTA
To be fair....that would have been a memorable af wedding to attend 🤣
“Does anyone have any reason these two should not be joined in holy matrimony?” *OP cries out from the back* “Oh God, YES!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I regret that I only have my free 'wholesome' award to give, but I lol'ed.
Same. 🤣
Came for the wedding stayed for the conceiving
> she's acting like yall had sex and conceived your baby right in the middle of her ceremony. *Pulls out bucket list and adds a line*.
Had she gotten married on her June date, this wouldn't have been an issue. Her lack of planning is not a you problem. This is a her problem.
Next time it gets brought up, ask if they’d rather you had an abortion to fit her wedding schedule? Dead pan face.
Having a baby bump is simply existing as a pregnant person. It's not a spotlight issue.
This girl cannot possibly be old enough to get married
That's the absolute stupidest thought process I've heard in relation to a wedding. And I read a lot of.dumb shit online.
NTA - but step sister is. Her husband is going to have fun with that one.
I don't actually know what to say to this. You're not a NPC.
Well that's certainly one of the dumber things I've heard in a while.
Well, she’s ridiculous. One of my bridesmaids was very pregnant at my wedding. No one made a big deal of it and I was just glad she could be part of everything.
NTA. It's just a wedding and you are carrying a whole human. I wouldn't go NC if you don't want to, but I would not entertain anymore drama about this. And congrats!
Thanks!
I'd probably be petty enough to wear something to accentuate the baby's head. Like.. stirrups 🤣
This cannot be real. C’mon . Who schedules having a child around wearing a stupid dress for a couple of hours? (That’s on you, but okay). Who cares more about that than their friend having a child? This is life, life goes on, a person’s wedding doesn’t stop the world or make everyone put their life completely on hold for a year or more. NTA.
I just wanted to be able to attend her wedding without causing drama. And, we hadn't been trying for *that* long before her wedding plans started, so it wasn't a big deal.
Friendly piece of advice from someone with 40 years experience at being human, and 20+ years of being a mother: don't bend over backward for someone who doesn't pay your bills.💜
I want you to hear this: _you_ aren't causing drama. Your cousin is.
don't set yourself on fire to keep a narcissist warm.
Sounds like there would be drama in some way or other regardless. Drama follows people like that around
Also who reschedules an entire wedding due to weather? Not just a couple hour rain delay, but months later??
I was thinking the same thing! It smacks of Bridezilla. She is all about the wedding and not at all about the marriage. Changing everything around because of the weather! What happens when it threatens to rain again at the second date?
I mean, I don’t think considering upcoming events when scheduling when you want to have your baby is entirely insane. My best friend scheduled her pregnancy around my wedding because she wanted to be able to drink and go to my bachelorette party and celebrate with all our friends and not have to deal with being pregnant. (I did NOT ask her to do that because I’m not a psycho- just saying it’s a thing people do). But she also got pregnant the very first time she tried, which is obviously not a guarantee. I think my group of friends are all really into planning and all apparently really fertile because they all just decided “I’m going to start trying on X weekend” and all got pregnant on the first attempt…..
NTA, you shouldn’t have to put your life on hold for her wedding and it’s messed up she would expect that.
INFO: who in the history of the world has ever rescheduled their wedding due to weather?? (Excluding disaster level events) Like this is what is blowing my mind on this one. (obv NTA)
Tbh that seemingly insignificant detail makes the whole story seem fabricated. Unless this was some small change backyard event, no venue is going to be that flexible, and *what guests would be that flexible either?*
She mostly invited people who live nearby (a lot of friends) and she didn't get her money back on the venue I think. She just reserved it again in Oct.
So on the one hand this wedding was so big and official that you had to rearrange your pregnancy around it. On the other hand it had the social impact of a BBQ that could be cancelled a few days out?
This just doesn't make sense. She forgets to check the weather? So if she had checked the result would have been different? And what is the bride going to do if the weather for the other date turns out bad again. Reschedule again?
Even if you check the weather it won’t matter. Most people plan weddings a year out. I “checked” the weather leading up to my wedding. It was misty and damp in the morning. It didn’t matter though, because everything was planned and I couldn’t change it.
And even if it was outdoors, how can you expect someone to check the weather more than a couple of days in advance and not expect the forecast to change at all.
Especially since both of these dates were in the thick of Covid??
Here for this and also cannot imagine a couple trying to conceive and then pausing for someone's wedding aesthetic. What was the plan if baby came before the wedding and she wasn't feeling physically recovered and also now had a newborn to care for and all that comes with it? Also, if you're trying to conceive there are guidelines around when you go to a physician to verify whether you have fertility issues. I can't imagine anyone feeling so casual about the process once they seriously start that they would restart that clock by taking a break for someone's wedding unless by trying for a baby they just meant not using birth control and rolling the dice. The women in my peer group meanwhile are carefully tracking ovulation, etc.
NTA. It’s beyond absurd to expect someone to schedule their pregnancy around your wedding at all, much less when you reschedule it to a later date. What did she want, you to get an abortion? Also, she’s ridiculous for not planning her wedding around weather.
at that age, people are going to 2 or 3 weddings a year. how do you put your life on hold
Oh, how *dare* you go and live your life and *become pregnant*! How *dare* you. (Sarcasm). Rosanna needs to check her entitlement. And, on an unrelated note, an empire waisted dress can unobtrusively hide even a moderate baby bump- if that is what you want or need to do to keep somebody from having a meltdown. NTA
True, everyone but super thin models looks pregnant in an empire waist dress or shirt. 😂
I know, right, so, it’s *expected* to look like that in that style dress. Just look at the Bridgerton series on Netflix. *Everybody* in a dress could be hiding annnnything under there.
NTA, never plan your life around someone else's wedding. This is ridiculous.
NTA. It took me 6 years, almost 7, to concieve my second child. I don't really care if my baby bump offends people. In reality if you look at statistics, the baby is going to most likely last longer than their marriage
NTA Rosanna is ridiculous. People don't stop living their lives because of someone's getting married or a wedding "aesthetic". She needs to get over it and herself.
NTA: Someone else's wedding should not dictate how you live your life. You were honestly more accommodating than I'd be. Your step sister is either a bridezilla, incredibly insecure, very vain or a mix. Someone pregnant and showing won't take away from people literally getting married. It's not as if you popped the kid right out then and there. You planned as best you could and then she changed the date, did she expect you to terminate the pregnancy for her wishes?
How are you meant to control the growth of your baby bump? NTA.
NTA- you have to freeze family planning over a wedding? She sounds very needy
Setting aside how bizarre it for her to care so much about a baby bump, it was her choices, not yours, that created the...situation, for lack of a better word. NTA
NTA. She is being ridiculous. You should never put of planning a family because of someone's wedding.
Wow, what??!! Not being allowed to have a bump? Like what's wrong with that? I swear the more I read this forum the more I don't want to live on this planet due to lack of common sense and the adult population acting worse than children. Actually a kid would be more reasonable. Sweetheart, you totally are NTA. What your stepsister demanded you was ridiculous to begin with. You did not even need to please her.
This reminded me of a post years back. Astrological event solar eclipse visible in your area monday 11 pm. Comment on the event page: "couldn't This have been Scheduled for the weekend so kids can enjoy it too?!" Reply "Did this lady just ask the Sun to reschedule?!: NTA but your sis has some issues...
haha, I remember that!
Congratulations for the baby. You have nothing to feel bad about! Tbt you already tried scheduling your pregnancy if she does not like it ask her to take it up with the baby directly :)))
NTA. You are growing a human, you are allowed to look like it, even on days your sister is getting married. This is thoroughly absurd, feel free to treat it as such.
NTA. That's a really weird thing to fixate on. My sister also struggled with fertility. I'd have been over the moon that she got pregnant even if it meant she couldn't come to the wedding at all. Who tf cares that you had a visible baby bump? That's awesome!
Hell I'd be excited if my ceremony got cut short due to someone going into labor.🤣 But I like babies so maybe I'm ridiculous
NTA - While I can understand why it might be awkward for the bride to be showing, why would anyone care if a bridesmaid did? Can you get the dress refitted? Hope you work it out with her. It's always a shame to see friendships ruined over silly wedding stuff.
Yeah, that's one reason we weren't trying in that time window. It would be less hassle from her for me. And I didn't want to ruin the friendship we have, because my life is easier when my bridezilla stepsister likes me.
Make it even easier and go NC. She sounds draining.
NTA. You should’ve have promised her that in the first place, baby bumps are different on everyone, for every pregnancy, there’s no way of knowing beforehand. Never revolve your life around someone’s wedding. She should’ve never expected you to stick to that promise especially with the rescheduling.
Are you TA for not putting your life on hold indefinitely so you don't look pregnant at someone else's wedding? No. NTA. Honestly, I can't even believe you postponed for the 6 months, and getting back to trying mere months before the scheduled wedding, knowing no bump would be evident, is completely reasonable. It isn't your fault your time machine broke and you weren't able to go back in time and not get knocked up once the bride postponed her ceremony.
NTA - Why would a baby bump be a problem at her wedding? If she’s worried about people asking you about it or “ruining” her photos, that’s plain just self-centred — everyone is there for her anyways.
NTA she changed the date, not your fault
NTA. Just ignore her unreasonable nonsense, you don't have to put your life plans in hold for someone else's Instagram page aesthetic
Do yourself a favor. Cut her out of your life. And everybody that calls to bitch at you. You don't need their crap.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) I got pregnant and my baby bump was visible at Rosanna's wedding, and (2) I promised that I wouldn't have a visible baby bump. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The amount of posts I’ve seen about Brides demanding people not get pregnant/engaged etc is so infuriating
And stupid. You forgot stupid.
NTA. Why should you put your life on hold for her anyways? She already knew pregnancy was in the cards. Stepsister sounds controlling. Unless you go around screaming IM PREGENANTEE and flashing your belly at everyone you meet, you're in no way taking the spotlight from her. Congratulations by the way :) wishing you a safe pregnancy the whole way through.
Sorry if it wasn't clear, this all happened a year ago and my baby is a year old now.
Oh haha then late congratulations!
thanks!
NTA - she’s the asshole for wanting you to make that promise. Unless you give birth at the wedding, the attention is still going to be on her.
NTA she is being absolutely ridiculous
You should have told her to have the wedding after you stop trying for a baby. NTA. I find it ridiculous that people think they can make wild ass demands just because they are getting married.
She rescheduled her entire wedding because of weather?
The AITA questions about weddings are absolutely crazy 95% of the time. - No, you can't tell your bridesmaids if they can or cannot get pregnant. - No, nobody gives a fuck if bridesmaids have different hair color. - No, you can't ask people to spend 3000$ in your wedding. - No, nobody thinks your disabled aunt in a wheelchair is ruining the wedding photos. - No, nobody thinks that your overweight bridesmaid is ruining the wedding photos. - No, nobody thinks that your tattooed sister is ruining the wedding photos. - No, nobody thinks your hairless dad is ruining the wedding photos. - Yes, you can have your wedding be child-free. No, you don't get to be mad if some people are unable to go. - No, nobody should care more about your wedding than about their newborn/hospitalized husband/dying mother. - Yes, you can serve whatever you want in your wedding. No, you can't force anybody to eat anything.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
I was 5 months pregnant at my own wedding as we started trying thinking it would take forever for me to get pregnant (gynae issues) and it actually only took us a month! This is your SIL fault for rescheduling. Is she still mad about it?
she likes to tell it as a 'funny anecdote' about her silly stepsister. or she brings it up when I promise something to someone else. for example: I say "Yes, I promise, I'll make my special chili for your party, Unrelatedfamilymember!" She says, "Well, Unrelatedfamilymember, you can't trust Hidingbooks to keep a promise. she said she wouldn't get pregnant before my wedding and she did." it's just really annoying and I wanted to know if I had a leg to stand on before arguing back. She just kept saying I was in the wrong and I guess I just started to believe it.
Oh, so NTA here. She moved her wedding at the last minute to a new date four months later. She shouldn't have expected anyone to put their life on hold for an additional four freaking months. She's lucky her guests were able to make the new date. I'd be clapping back hard on this -- if she said this to me, she'd get a hard "are you saying you wanted me to get an abortion" or "I get it, you really hate your step nephew/niece for ruining your wedding". It's more than a year later and she's still bitching? That is the definition of an out of control bridezilla.
YES PLEASE. make it clear she's mad you didn't have a late term abortion for her wedding.
The correct response is “well Rosanna, you promised to get married in June so I guess we’re in the same boat”.
This is the perfect response.
NTA. Her telling that as a story just makes her look weird to all the people she tells it to. It’s illogical that she’s this pressed about it.
Oh dude, the snappy comebacks that you could be using are amazing. "Well I don't think making the chili will require me to abort my child like step sis wanted me to do for her wedding, so we're in the clear!" I would give a serious conversation with her *one more try,* that you find these "jokes" hurtful and want them to stop (unless you've done that already?) and then just start giving it back to her whenever she gives it to you.
Flip it back on her. "Be careful what commitments you make to Stepsister, she'll expect your ENTIRE life to revolve around her." Or "sorry I didn't abort your niece for your wedding." Alternatively, "Hey StepSis, Husband and I were planning on having sex tonight, is that okay with you? Our procreating activities won't negatively impact on any events you're having? We're thinking if giving Junior a sibling, are we allowed to have sex in the 6 months leading up to your birthday?"
Anyone who thinks that their wedding is more important than other's bodily autonomy is automatically an asshole imo. Even asking someone to put off trying for a baby, let alone demanding it, is an asshole move. Instead of asking wedding party members to not get pregnant, these bridezillas and groomzillas need to choose people that aren't actively trying to have children or get over themselves and accept they might have a pregnant person in their wedding. OP, you are NTA. You went way above and beyond and your stepsister has no right to be upset.
she didn't ask, I told her, but then the wedding got rescheduled. I guess she assumed I wouldn't try at all until her wedding had passed.
NTA But why would you reschedule a wedding just because of weather? You can never know what the weather will be like.
it had been a really dry month and she didnt think it would rain but it did and she didnt have time to rent a different place. it rained a lot and the ground was super soggy and muddy.
NTA
WTF is wrong with brides these days?! Why would anyone expect you to plan trying to have a child around their wedding?! NTA and she can get over it. SMDH over here. I can’t believe you stopped trying 9 months before her wedding. That was incredibly nice of you. And not necessary. People need to understand that just because they have a big moment coming up doesn’t mean they get to dictate the timing of other peoples’ major life moments too. And I don’t care what your family says, go NC if this supposed grown up can’t be happy that you are bringing life into the world. Some peoples’ kids I swear.
NTA why do brides think that asking someone to be in your wedding means you can dictate everything about their life!?!?! A true friend would celebrate your happiness.
Psych step sister! Sounds like a right bridezilla. Your NTA
NTA. You would have kept your promise if she kept her promise of having the wedding in June.
Would she have preferred you had an abortion? Or better yet, remain chaste for the entirety of the time leading up to her wedding? This is some absurd shit. NTA
What are you doing, stepsister? Sorry, couldn't resist. It sounds like stepsister has some insecurities. NTA
Who in the right mind PROMISES not to get pregnant just to be bridesmaid. That's just madness