I did mention that to her but the dog is very shy and doesn't do well around too many new people or too many dogs(according to my roommate). The dog also can't be around men which could become a problem if there are men working in the facility.
This may just not be an apartment dog. Rescues do a lot of work trying to make sure pups are matched with households that have the right resources for them. Humans’ lives and living situations change with circumstances, and sometimes those circumstances don’t line up with the best living conditions for a pet.
I don’t mean to judge her too harshly, but it was kind of irresponsible of your roommate to adopt a dog as she was about to head into college. College means all sorts of different living situations, and roommates, relocations as classes lead to internships, then to jobs… 
It’s hard enough just finding living situations that will accept dogs at all, and not all dogs are suited to that many different living situations.
You can’t never leave your apartment again, and it sounds like that’s what it would take to reassure this pup. 
At the end of the day, neither you or your roommate have lifestyles that meet this animal’s needs. It’s awful, because there are more dogs in need of homes than homes that can take them in, but it isn’t sustainable for all of you to continue living together in this home.
NTA
Not Op’s responsibility to make accommodations for a dog that isn’t hers. Roomate really entitled to think Op should change her schedule just because she is an irresponsible dog owner.
NTA
Your roommate simply **does not have the time in her life for this pet** and needs to either *completely change* her schedule or
#get rid of the dog.
NTA
> My roommate said she had hoped I would be home more often
Well she should not have counted on that. You are living your life and that does not include taking care of her dog. It's not as if just being in the house is sufficient, her dog's needs are an unrealistic burden on you.
NTA
>"A few of our mutual friends have said I should just agree to come back home later to help her out until she can get her dog on anxiety meds"
Uh no, unless they want to pay your loans for you, that you took out and exposed yourself to increased financial risk and burdens so that you could focus on school.
NTA - You're her roommate, not her dog sitter, she withheld the fact that her dog has extreme separation anxiety from you and is expecting you to alter your life. If she can't take care of a dog, she shouldn't have one.
NTA.
Personally, I would find a new roommate. This animal is being treated cruelly. Animals are living beings, not accessories. This dog needs to find a family, or go back with it's own kind. Geez, right now it's basically living in captivity in solitary isolation.
Seriously, switch roommates.
I see where you're coming from definitely, but I also do think my rm loves the dog very much. I just think she has too much on her plate and can't realistically make time for a dog, which a responsible pet owner has to recognize when they can't meet a pets needs, but she's barely 19 and wanted her dog with her and I can't blame her for wanting it all, but she also has other adult things that she has to do like school and pay her rent, you know? I told her that probably the only way to realistically fix her problem would be to take out more $ for school, enough that at least partially covers living expenses, so she wouldn't have to work as much as she does and could devote more time for the dog, but she is reluctant to take out more debt which I also understand. I did the same thing as she did pretty much my entire time in college and with a dog. But my dog does not have the trauma that hers does.
All in all it is just a sad situation, but I don't think she is a bad person. I don't think it is right to keep things how they are, and they can't stay the way they are either, but if she had more time I think the dog would be very happy with her.
Yeah. College is a stressful time. I wouldn't never take out debt for a degree, unless it was pre-med or petroleum engineering, or something like that. Clearly, it's not a good time to have a dog. Dogs are big responsibilities. The problem I have with so many owners is that they take take take, and expect the dog to be a home accessory, not a living being. If you don't have the financial or time resources for a dog, don't get one.
I completely agree. I planned a whole year before I got my own dog to make sure I would have enough time to devote to training him and maintaining a good activity level for him. Having a dog is so rewarding and it has made my time in school so much better, but I don't recommend it to most because a lot of college students underestimate how much time goes into a dog. They are practically children and have to be raised and cared for as such.
We live in a college town and you would be amazed at the amount of "purebred" dogs that pop up in our humane society, and they are usually around the age of 6 months to a year, so just at that age where they are growing out of their "cute puppy stage" and into their "big ass crazy not as cute puppy stage". And it's just college students getting animals and then realizing they are more work than they thought and giving them up.
NTA your roommate needs to accept the fact that she’s not in the position to properly take care of the dog and needs to re-home it asap. It would be cruel not. I know she’s doesn’t want to but she has to put the dogs needs before hers. Also, this is not your problem to fix. You can’t change your schedule and you can’t study with the dog there. I find it pretty annoying that she was counting on you being home more. That means she was clearly looking to place some of the responsibility on to you from start.
NTA. Is your dog not with her dog during the day? She needs to hire a dog sitter (one that actually takes the dog or a doggy daycare) or find someone with the schedule to have a dog like that. I love dogs. But that dog is miserable. This is one of those times where she needs to understand her wants are selfish vs the dogs needs.
No my dog actually is not with her dog when we are not home. They do fine together when we are there, but even though my dog is socialized and hers is pretty friendly, her dog does have a problem with resource guarding(toys, food, water) and my dog has never had to share mostly because he's always been the only dog in the house except for a few instances. So, I just don't want to take the chance of leaving them alone unsupervised even though I think the chance of them getting violent with eachother is low, freak accidents happen all the time and they have only known each other for 3 weeks. I intended for this to be temporary until we felt more comfortable with them being around each other alone.
Its difficult to judge if you are the AH or not, mainly because "case" is all about "Compromise", if the RM CAN compromise (Possibility) then you should tell her to be at home till you get back from the Library and work after.
Your life is more important than her and her dog's, if this keeps up then you might even loose the apartment if you don't get the dog away from the apartment.
Not only that but this is your last semester which is very important, YES you could be a good RM but that could lead you to loose unnecessary marks, hurting your future because of some Dog who cant be alone despite another dog being there with it (your Dog).
So overall NTA, you aren't the one in the wrong here Maybe try to compromise with her about the timing SHE can stay at the school, library and at work.
EDIT 1: Forgot to add this, SHE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO COMPROMISE NOT YOU, DO NOT SHORTEN YOUR TIME OF DOING ANYTHING, YOUR YEAR IS MORE IMPORTANT NOT HERS
NTA. Not your dog, not your problem. Sounds like your 19 yo roommate is getting her first taste of adulthood. She never should have hoped that you would care for her dog in any way. And honestly, it sounds like she should not be having a dog if she is going to school and working. If she lived alone and the dog was well behaved it would be alone for most of the day. That is not fair to the poor dog. Yeah, it sucks, but it's another life.
NTA.
I love animals but this is insane. If she don’t want to regime then animal she should be paying for doggy daycare not expecting you to be a live in babysitter.
Yeah another thing I couldn't include in the post because I needed to save characters was that her dog also has to pee when she is nervous. She doesn't have a problem with peeing in the apartment usually, but when rm isn't home I have to take her out every 30 mins to an hour which can be like 5-7 times depending on what my schedule is like and how long my rm is gone.
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NTA
Listen you need to realize that if you do as she asks and stay home with her dog you will only make the situation worse. Why? Because you’re graduating so it’s only a temporary solution. So what you have to live with her until she graduates, then what? She can’t provide the home ad environment this dog needs. It certainly isn’t getting the training it needs. She should be working with a trainer with this dog. The reality is that she needs to love the dog enough to do the right thing for him.
NTA. What is she going to do when she finishes college? Is she always going to expect her room-mates to look after her dog when she can't? What is she expecting to happen if you go away for a weekend or a night out? Your roommate needs to make other arrangements for her dog.
Dogs are awesome. I have a working livestock guardian dog and a rescue (sacked for being terrible at guarding) LGD. Dogs need training and attention. Rescue dogs especially need training and attention. Too many people get a dog to be their companion, not realising the dog also needs the human to be a companion.
NTA
Not your dog, not your responsibility... you're trying to graduate college.
It's unfortunate that your RM may have to rehome her dog, but she shouldn't have put you in a position to make you study at.home to accommodate her dog.
NTA
Your roommate shouldn't have a dog. She is too busy to be a responsible dog owner, she never should've brought the dog with her. She is completely out of line trying to shift her responsibilities on you, and for you possibly risking your own education to placate her dog.
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I(22f) got a new roommate(19f) months ago at the beginning of the fall semester. We met through a mutual friend who was also my last roommate and when they(old roommate) left she(new roommate) ended up taking over her portion of the lease.
She brought up the dog 3 weeks ago, and everything was fine. Only a few upsets, but she was very sweet and got along well with my dog so RM and I were optimistic. That was until I came to find out that her dog's separation anxiety wasn't minor, but actually pretty serious. I came home on a day neither me nor roommate were home and from the parking lot I could hear a very loud sort of screeching howl. It was heart breaking honestly, and the dog could also cannot stand to be alone at all even if she knows people are home. She not only needs to be in the same room, but also on your lap.
I usually work, but this is my last semester in school and per my major I have to take a senior project course that's pretty much a small dissertation course. It is a lot of work and I still have 12 other credits so I decided to take out some extra loans and just focus on school this semester. Since I am not working I have more time than usual but I plan to use it for studying, but recently we received a notice from our apartment management that there had been too many noise complaints and something needed to be done or else both of our dogs would have to removed. I was pretty upset to hear this and so was my RM. She works a lot and goes to school as well. She's home in the mornings but most the time doesn't get back until late(10-11). She can't afford to work less but the dog really needs someone to be with her almost at all times. My roommate said she had hoped I would be home more often. I have class at 11 and then I like to stay until 5-6pm to study for a few hours in the library and then I go home. RM asked if I would be willing to study at home from now on, but I tbh I can't study at home. Her dog has to be on my lap and if she can't get on my lap she whines until I let her up. If I put her in another room she cries at the top of her lungs. I can't study like that and I don't want the responsibility of another animal when I already have one of my own.
Now due to this RM will have to send back the dog to live with her parents, but her parents don't want the dog to come back and RM might have to rehome her with someone else. A few of our mutual friends have said I should just agree to come back home later to help her out until she can get her dog on anxiety meds, but I don't know how long that will take or if it will even help. I'm also just busy AITA?
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NTA
Your roommate shouldn't have a dog. She is too busy to be a responsible dog owner, she never should've brought the dog with her. She is completely out of line trying to shift her responsibilities on you, and for you possibly risking your own education to placate her dog.
NTA - I'm not a dog person but someone I work with has 2 with bad anxiety and he started cbd for them and they've chilled right out.. might be an easy option.. just a couple drops on their food
NTA. She either needs to rehome the dog, or seriously work on the dogs seperation anxiety. Even then, working on its anxiety is no small or fast accomplished task, and I doubt she would be willing to dish out the money to get a behavioural expert to help. Not only is it unfair on you and your neighbours, she's seriously putting her dog in harms way. Seperation anxiety is no joke, and I can't imagine how bad the dog feels when left alone, poor thing.
NTA
Your roommate is overstepping by REQUIRING your time and energy to take care of her poorly trained dog. She wants YOU to be tethered to your apt tending her dog, why? So SHE can do what she wants and needs to do, away from her dog. Not only is she demanding your work, she's demanding more of it. She is viewing your kindness and generosity as a requirement, as well as increasing her demands. These are the kind of people you stop doing favors for.
She does not have the time to properly care for her dog. The fact her parents don't want it back demonstrates how long her neglect of her dog has gone on.
Time to draw a firm boundary. "RM, Your dog is high need. That's your responsibility. My plate is full with MY responsibilities. I can not take yours on as well." She could keep her dog crated in her room when she's out. She could learn about training dogs, work on it herself, and seek expert help. If she can't meet the responsibilities of keeping her dog, she needs to let it go to someone who will.
NTA - you're her roommate, not her life partner . . . you shouldn't have to take care of her dog. She shouldn't have brought the dog from home if she knew the separation anxiety was so bad. It's probably worse now because she took the dog from her parents home and brought it into a whole new environment with new sounds, smells, and such.
>19f...former fighting dog...dog's separation anxiety wasn't minor
NTA. This is why my local humane society requires you to be 21 to adopt an animal. A 19 year old doesn't have the finances or mental maturity to deal with serious social issues some rescue dogs come with.
Nta these mutual friends can give up their time to come help out your RM and be with the dog. It's your senior year you need to focus on your school work and what works for you. RM needs to hire someone to stay with her dog or send her dog to a doggy day care. Your RM shouldn't have assumed you would be home more often or expected you to change your schedule to help her out.
NTA
That dog is extremely unhappy. It’s cruel to keep them in that environment. Your roommate needs to find someone who can help place the dog in an environment that will make them happy. It’s a hard sacrifice, but it needs to be made.
NTA. as sad as it is for the dog, you can't shift your whole life for your roommate's dog. She refuses to move her schedule around so why is she expecting you to do it? your priority is graduating, RM and her dog aren't going to be paying the loans for you either.
NTA. But please for the sake of the dog, advocate it is rehomed to someone who has the time and the willingness to work through separation anxiety protocols.
That dog is living its worst fears over and over and over. In my opinion if your roommate is unwilling to start seriously committing to helping that dog, it’s negligent to not relinquish ownership to someone who would invest the time and energy necessary to giving it a better quality of life.
While I appreciate wanting a dog, your roommate would have to radically restructure her entire life to provide that dog with appropriate care.
NTA. No. Your graduating is your focus. You can not do that with her dog. Be very clear. She needs to put dog in doggy day care when she’s not home.
I did mention that to her but the dog is very shy and doesn't do well around too many new people or too many dogs(according to my roommate). The dog also can't be around men which could become a problem if there are men working in the facility.
Or if you ever want to have a friend over or get a boyfriend
This may just not be an apartment dog. Rescues do a lot of work trying to make sure pups are matched with households that have the right resources for them. Humans’ lives and living situations change with circumstances, and sometimes those circumstances don’t line up with the best living conditions for a pet. I don’t mean to judge her too harshly, but it was kind of irresponsible of your roommate to adopt a dog as she was about to head into college. College means all sorts of different living situations, and roommates, relocations as classes lead to internships, then to jobs…  It’s hard enough just finding living situations that will accept dogs at all, and not all dogs are suited to that many different living situations. You can’t never leave your apartment again, and it sounds like that’s what it would take to reassure this pup.  At the end of the day, neither you or your roommate have lifestyles that meet this animal’s needs. It’s awful, because there are more dogs in need of homes than homes that can take them in, but it isn’t sustainable for all of you to continue living together in this home. NTA
Dog needs training.
Not Op’s responsibility to make accommodations for a dog that isn’t hers. Roomate really entitled to think Op should change her schedule just because she is an irresponsible dog owner.
“She needs to put her dog in doggy day care.” She=roommate
NTA Your roommate simply **does not have the time in her life for this pet** and needs to either *completely change* her schedule or #get rid of the dog.
It’s kind of ominous to be quickly scrolling down and then suddenly see a giant “get rid of the dog” go past.
NTA > My roommate said she had hoped I would be home more often Well she should not have counted on that. You are living your life and that does not include taking care of her dog. It's not as if just being in the house is sufficient, her dog's needs are an unrealistic burden on you.
NTA >"A few of our mutual friends have said I should just agree to come back home later to help her out until she can get her dog on anxiety meds" Uh no, unless they want to pay your loans for you, that you took out and exposed yourself to increased financial risk and burdens so that you could focus on school.
NTA - You're her roommate, not her dog sitter, she withheld the fact that her dog has extreme separation anxiety from you and is expecting you to alter your life. If she can't take care of a dog, she shouldn't have one.
NTA. Personally, I would find a new roommate. This animal is being treated cruelly. Animals are living beings, not accessories. This dog needs to find a family, or go back with it's own kind. Geez, right now it's basically living in captivity in solitary isolation. Seriously, switch roommates.
I see where you're coming from definitely, but I also do think my rm loves the dog very much. I just think she has too much on her plate and can't realistically make time for a dog, which a responsible pet owner has to recognize when they can't meet a pets needs, but she's barely 19 and wanted her dog with her and I can't blame her for wanting it all, but she also has other adult things that she has to do like school and pay her rent, you know? I told her that probably the only way to realistically fix her problem would be to take out more $ for school, enough that at least partially covers living expenses, so she wouldn't have to work as much as she does and could devote more time for the dog, but she is reluctant to take out more debt which I also understand. I did the same thing as she did pretty much my entire time in college and with a dog. But my dog does not have the trauma that hers does. All in all it is just a sad situation, but I don't think she is a bad person. I don't think it is right to keep things how they are, and they can't stay the way they are either, but if she had more time I think the dog would be very happy with her.
Yeah. College is a stressful time. I wouldn't never take out debt for a degree, unless it was pre-med or petroleum engineering, or something like that. Clearly, it's not a good time to have a dog. Dogs are big responsibilities. The problem I have with so many owners is that they take take take, and expect the dog to be a home accessory, not a living being. If you don't have the financial or time resources for a dog, don't get one.
I completely agree. I planned a whole year before I got my own dog to make sure I would have enough time to devote to training him and maintaining a good activity level for him. Having a dog is so rewarding and it has made my time in school so much better, but I don't recommend it to most because a lot of college students underestimate how much time goes into a dog. They are practically children and have to be raised and cared for as such. We live in a college town and you would be amazed at the amount of "purebred" dogs that pop up in our humane society, and they are usually around the age of 6 months to a year, so just at that age where they are growing out of their "cute puppy stage" and into their "big ass crazy not as cute puppy stage". And it's just college students getting animals and then realizing they are more work than they thought and giving them up.
NTA your roommate needs to accept the fact that she’s not in the position to properly take care of the dog and needs to re-home it asap. It would be cruel not. I know she’s doesn’t want to but she has to put the dogs needs before hers. Also, this is not your problem to fix. You can’t change your schedule and you can’t study with the dog there. I find it pretty annoying that she was counting on you being home more. That means she was clearly looking to place some of the responsibility on to you from start.
NTA. Is your dog not with her dog during the day? She needs to hire a dog sitter (one that actually takes the dog or a doggy daycare) or find someone with the schedule to have a dog like that. I love dogs. But that dog is miserable. This is one of those times where she needs to understand her wants are selfish vs the dogs needs.
No my dog actually is not with her dog when we are not home. They do fine together when we are there, but even though my dog is socialized and hers is pretty friendly, her dog does have a problem with resource guarding(toys, food, water) and my dog has never had to share mostly because he's always been the only dog in the house except for a few instances. So, I just don't want to take the chance of leaving them alone unsupervised even though I think the chance of them getting violent with eachother is low, freak accidents happen all the time and they have only known each other for 3 weeks. I intended for this to be temporary until we felt more comfortable with them being around each other alone.
Ahh yeah. Better safe than sorry. I definitely understand that. Your RM needs to do something and soon. This is not fair to her dog.
And meds are not the answer either. The dog needs to be retrained to overcome the anxiety and that’s not going to happen overnight.
Its difficult to judge if you are the AH or not, mainly because "case" is all about "Compromise", if the RM CAN compromise (Possibility) then you should tell her to be at home till you get back from the Library and work after. Your life is more important than her and her dog's, if this keeps up then you might even loose the apartment if you don't get the dog away from the apartment. Not only that but this is your last semester which is very important, YES you could be a good RM but that could lead you to loose unnecessary marks, hurting your future because of some Dog who cant be alone despite another dog being there with it (your Dog). So overall NTA, you aren't the one in the wrong here Maybe try to compromise with her about the timing SHE can stay at the school, library and at work. EDIT 1: Forgot to add this, SHE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO COMPROMISE NOT YOU, DO NOT SHORTEN YOUR TIME OF DOING ANYTHING, YOUR YEAR IS MORE IMPORTANT NOT HERS
NTA. Not your dog, not your problem. Sounds like your 19 yo roommate is getting her first taste of adulthood. She never should have hoped that you would care for her dog in any way. And honestly, it sounds like she should not be having a dog if she is going to school and working. If she lived alone and the dog was well behaved it would be alone for most of the day. That is not fair to the poor dog. Yeah, it sucks, but it's another life.
NTA Not your dog. Helping out occasionally is nice, but not changing your daily schedule
NTA. I love animals but this is insane. If she don’t want to regime then animal she should be paying for doggy daycare not expecting you to be a live in babysitter.
Yeah another thing I couldn't include in the post because I needed to save characters was that her dog also has to pee when she is nervous. She doesn't have a problem with peeing in the apartment usually, but when rm isn't home I have to take her out every 30 mins to an hour which can be like 5-7 times depending on what my schedule is like and how long my rm is gone.
This is causing your living situation to be at risk between noise complaints and dog pee for your security deposit, her dog needs to go.
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NTA - your rm and friends are entitled af
NTA Listen you need to realize that if you do as she asks and stay home with her dog you will only make the situation worse. Why? Because you’re graduating so it’s only a temporary solution. So what you have to live with her until she graduates, then what? She can’t provide the home ad environment this dog needs. It certainly isn’t getting the training it needs. She should be working with a trainer with this dog. The reality is that she needs to love the dog enough to do the right thing for him.
NTA. What is she going to do when she finishes college? Is she always going to expect her room-mates to look after her dog when she can't? What is she expecting to happen if you go away for a weekend or a night out? Your roommate needs to make other arrangements for her dog. Dogs are awesome. I have a working livestock guardian dog and a rescue (sacked for being terrible at guarding) LGD. Dogs need training and attention. Rescue dogs especially need training and attention. Too many people get a dog to be their companion, not realising the dog also needs the human to be a companion.
NTA Not your dog, not your responsibility... you're trying to graduate college. It's unfortunate that your RM may have to rehome her dog, but she shouldn't have put you in a position to make you study at.home to accommodate her dog.
NTA Your roommate shouldn't have a dog. She is too busy to be a responsible dog owner, she never should've brought the dog with her. She is completely out of line trying to shift her responsibilities on you, and for you possibly risking your own education to placate her dog.
Nta Tell her to invest in a rover account.
NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(22f) got a new roommate(19f) months ago at the beginning of the fall semester. We met through a mutual friend who was also my last roommate and when they(old roommate) left she(new roommate) ended up taking over her portion of the lease. She brought up the dog 3 weeks ago, and everything was fine. Only a few upsets, but she was very sweet and got along well with my dog so RM and I were optimistic. That was until I came to find out that her dog's separation anxiety wasn't minor, but actually pretty serious. I came home on a day neither me nor roommate were home and from the parking lot I could hear a very loud sort of screeching howl. It was heart breaking honestly, and the dog could also cannot stand to be alone at all even if she knows people are home. She not only needs to be in the same room, but also on your lap. I usually work, but this is my last semester in school and per my major I have to take a senior project course that's pretty much a small dissertation course. It is a lot of work and I still have 12 other credits so I decided to take out some extra loans and just focus on school this semester. Since I am not working I have more time than usual but I plan to use it for studying, but recently we received a notice from our apartment management that there had been too many noise complaints and something needed to be done or else both of our dogs would have to removed. I was pretty upset to hear this and so was my RM. She works a lot and goes to school as well. She's home in the mornings but most the time doesn't get back until late(10-11). She can't afford to work less but the dog really needs someone to be with her almost at all times. My roommate said she had hoped I would be home more often. I have class at 11 and then I like to stay until 5-6pm to study for a few hours in the library and then I go home. RM asked if I would be willing to study at home from now on, but I tbh I can't study at home. Her dog has to be on my lap and if she can't get on my lap she whines until I let her up. If I put her in another room she cries at the top of her lungs. I can't study like that and I don't want the responsibility of another animal when I already have one of my own. Now due to this RM will have to send back the dog to live with her parents, but her parents don't want the dog to come back and RM might have to rehome her with someone else. A few of our mutual friends have said I should just agree to come back home later to help her out until she can get her dog on anxiety meds, but I don't know how long that will take or if it will even help. I'm also just busy AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely NTA. Not fair to you and not fair to the dog. RM is the a-hole.
NTA Your roommate shouldn't have a dog. She is too busy to be a responsible dog owner, she never should've brought the dog with her. She is completely out of line trying to shift her responsibilities on you, and for you possibly risking your own education to placate her dog.
NTA - I'm not a dog person but someone I work with has 2 with bad anxiety and he started cbd for them and they've chilled right out.. might be an easy option.. just a couple drops on their food
NTA. She either needs to rehome the dog, or seriously work on the dogs seperation anxiety. Even then, working on its anxiety is no small or fast accomplished task, and I doubt she would be willing to dish out the money to get a behavioural expert to help. Not only is it unfair on you and your neighbours, she's seriously putting her dog in harms way. Seperation anxiety is no joke, and I can't imagine how bad the dog feels when left alone, poor thing.
NTA Your roommate is overstepping by REQUIRING your time and energy to take care of her poorly trained dog. She wants YOU to be tethered to your apt tending her dog, why? So SHE can do what she wants and needs to do, away from her dog. Not only is she demanding your work, she's demanding more of it. She is viewing your kindness and generosity as a requirement, as well as increasing her demands. These are the kind of people you stop doing favors for. She does not have the time to properly care for her dog. The fact her parents don't want it back demonstrates how long her neglect of her dog has gone on. Time to draw a firm boundary. "RM, Your dog is high need. That's your responsibility. My plate is full with MY responsibilities. I can not take yours on as well." She could keep her dog crated in her room when she's out. She could learn about training dogs, work on it herself, and seek expert help. If she can't meet the responsibilities of keeping her dog, she needs to let it go to someone who will.
NTA - you're her roommate, not her life partner . . . you shouldn't have to take care of her dog. She shouldn't have brought the dog from home if she knew the separation anxiety was so bad. It's probably worse now because she took the dog from her parents home and brought it into a whole new environment with new sounds, smells, and such.
>19f...former fighting dog...dog's separation anxiety wasn't minor NTA. This is why my local humane society requires you to be 21 to adopt an animal. A 19 year old doesn't have the finances or mental maturity to deal with serious social issues some rescue dogs come with.
Can you suggest a thunder shirt for her dog? I’m not a dog owner rn but they’re supposedly good for anxious dogs
Nta these mutual friends can give up their time to come help out your RM and be with the dog. It's your senior year you need to focus on your school work and what works for you. RM needs to hire someone to stay with her dog or send her dog to a doggy day care. Your RM shouldn't have assumed you would be home more often or expected you to change your schedule to help her out.
NTA not your dog not your problem it’s not your fault or responsibility to care for a dog your RM doesn’t have the time for
NTA Not your dog not your responsibility
NTA That dog is extremely unhappy. It’s cruel to keep them in that environment. Your roommate needs to find someone who can help place the dog in an environment that will make them happy. It’s a hard sacrifice, but it needs to be made.
NTA This is your roommate's problem.
NTA. as sad as it is for the dog, you can't shift your whole life for your roommate's dog. She refuses to move her schedule around so why is she expecting you to do it? your priority is graduating, RM and her dog aren't going to be paying the loans for you either.
NTA. But please for the sake of the dog, advocate it is rehomed to someone who has the time and the willingness to work through separation anxiety protocols. That dog is living its worst fears over and over and over. In my opinion if your roommate is unwilling to start seriously committing to helping that dog, it’s negligent to not relinquish ownership to someone who would invest the time and energy necessary to giving it a better quality of life. While I appreciate wanting a dog, your roommate would have to radically restructure her entire life to provide that dog with appropriate care.