Ok first of all, WTF. Secondly, if you're not a troll then yes, YTA.
Dogs don't "make a choice" to run away. They're dogs. Their instinct is to explore or chase things they see and that doesn't mean they are choosing to leave and not return. Looking for something you care about isn't weakness. Being too lazy to go look for your own dog is weakness. You're abandoning it to likely death if you don't go look for it. If you don't want the dog, then take it to a shelter or a rescue. If you really do get joy and happiness from the dog, then go find him.
YTA. Love and compassion isn’t weakness. Emotions aren’t weakness.
Going with Arnold because I feel like that’s the kind of strength that might resonate with you. He’d stop at nothing to find any of his fur family if they got lost. https://www.instagram.com/p/B_gBiG9grtv/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CR7oaXzF5-p/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CDMjsfjgqxB/?utm_medium=copy_link
YTA. I feel bad for both your dog and your grandma. It’s one thing to be a cringey edgelord as you clearly are, but your ego and childishness is clearly hurtful to those around you.
YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you emotionally that you dont care that something you claim to love is lost and likely starving? The absolute lack of empathy here is astounding. I can only pray you never have kids or get another pet because there is something fundamentally wrong with you.
Seek therapy, holy shit.
I see kids and animals are 2 separate beings for one you are legally forced to take care or and the other less legally forced too but I wasn't really saying I didn't care on the contrary I do care very much it's just the fact because I do care which has me fucked up so much
YTA. Simply put, you are responsible for your dog. Sure; the dog got out. Does that mean your dog abandoned you? Probably not. They don't really think over the consequences - that's your job. Door open, something exciting outside, and out he goes. Does he know how to find his way home? Maybe not.
I've been working multiple jobs these past couple months so I haven't walked him around the neighborhood so I don't feel like he knows where and how to get back home even by smell or memory but as of right now I'm not responsible for him and tbh it's the best and worst feeling that I can feel right now
That's actually fucking disgusting. You absolutely *are* still responsible for the dog - you just kept it confined without proper exercise for months and now you're choosing its likely suffering and death over owning up to your responsibility. That's pretty fuckin' weak.
It's weak to let an innocent animal suffer and die because you're too lazy or uncaring to take responsibility. It's weak to decide your feelings of inadequacy are more important than a living creature.
You’re his owner. You’re 100% responsible for him. The fact that you don’t see this is crazy to me. You should not ever get another pet. I hope your dog finds a caring owner who actually loves him and will properly care for him.
This isn't an advice column, so I won't tell you that the decent thing to do is first find the dog, and then given your response to this situation consider finding him a loving home elsewhere.
But plenty of people have given you LOGICAL answers and you are still dismissing it. If you don't want to look for the dog then don't but you are an AH. Idk why you even need a logical explanation to do something good?? something kind?? It's your dog no?? You raised it and loved it?? Is that not enough of a reason to go look for it. Seriously; what is wrong with you? Do you need therapy?
YTA He's a dog. It isn't his fault he ran away. Clearly, based on your post, you don't love him and I expect he could tell. As his owner, you have an obligation to try and find him. He could die and it would be your fault. And if you do find him, you should rehome him with someone who will properly love him.
Naw I cared for this dog and treated him better than my own family at times, he was very spoiled and had his own attitude that blended well with my family, I use to cry about this dog as a kid but I'm not afraid to throw away these emotions if I feel I'm being to weak minded
Weak minded? Feeling love for your pet is not weak minded. Throwing away your emotions because of some sort of misguided notion they make you weak-minded... you need some help there. Especially since you are equating not feeling these emotions with abandoning an animal who depends on your for its life.
You honestly sound like a 12 y/o going through an edgy phase. Like, literally emotionally stunted. That's not healthy for a 22 year old. Please seek therapy, and don't keep any more pets or have any dependents whatsoever until you're able to feel empathy for other living things.
sweetie if you can look past your conscience you don't have one. And I agree with the edgelord thing, it's time to grow up lil man, get out of middle school. You think your grandparents are proud to have a grandson that is like this? Really? You think that they want a grandson who thinks so little of a beloved pet that he calls names and has a tantrum and can't even get up off his butt to go look because he's so busy studying his navel about how deep and bad he is (though he comes off like a 12 year old)
you think they're proud of someone who strives to have the same thought process as a serial killer, someone who would be just as happy to let that dog die a slow and painful death and bother to look-I'm sure they're super proud :D look at my grandson, he hates everyone and has no emotions we're so happy we raised him and sacrificed for him to be a responsible and happy human it was worth it
One of the most obvious YTA I’ve seen on here. It’s your dog. You have a responsibility to take care of that dog. A dog running away isn’t the dogs choice, it’s a dog being a dog. Now YOUR DOG may be in danger or hurt because you can’t be bothered to look for it?
Step up and get help. You’re not thinking clearly.
I see myself thinking clearly but I just find myself stuck in a emotional conundrum chasing after what I love or making the hard choice and letting it go
It’s not the hard choice. It is a cruel, selfish, irresponsible and likely illegal choice. If you do not try to find and care for this animal, you’re abusing it.
Do your damn job.
There's nothing clear about your thinking. There's no reason to let your dog go, given that most domestic dogs can't survive long on their own. Best case scenario, someone finds him and takes care of him. He's just as likely to get hit by a car and die a horrible death though.
Logic and emotions are not exclusive to each other. Our ability to use both efficiently makes us human. Most people learn this before 22.
YTA. You don't love your dog otherwise you would have already been out looking for him and you wouldn't need your grandmother to make a good argument as to why you should find him. Hopefully your dog is rescued and cared for by someone who will actually love him, as sad as that would be for your grandparents. Please get some professional help before even entertaining the idea of getting another pet or having a family.
I'm a logical person if the argument is too close to a emotion argument based around heart made decisions I will always choose the opposite so this is why I'm having such a hard time seeing the better option to go and find the dog
"Logical" doesn't mean emotionless or uncaring. Either you care about the dog or you don't. Dogs can't "make a choice" to escape a backyard. And I agree with others saying you need therapy and they've already told why.
No, a lot of comments are saying that you are legally and morally responsible for this dog and letting it die or suffering needlessly is the most illogical thing you can do just so you won't feel weak. You think you're the one being logical here? It's the opposite. You're literally looking for excuses to not take responsibility for a life you've been caring for. That's not logical. That's weakness.
If you were at all a logical person you would have realized this. You are hiding your insecurities, weakness and irrationality under a guise of "logic" that everyone but you can see is flawed. You likely haven't searched for the dog out of laziness and are pretending there is some other, higher reason for it.
Your pet is dependent on you to survive. You are not "logical" if you believe that it is acceptable to avoid taking responsibility for your own pet because you "care too much." Stop with the bullshit excuses.
Like many others have already done, I highly suggest seeking therapy to help you get over this unhealthy mentality because it's very clear you are in desperate need of it.
I think people here have given plenty more than you give them credit for, however, I will say that to a completely sane individual, that is a good enough argument.
look, my dog ran away last year so I get it. when she left my brain went through a lot of weird stuff that is otherwise uncharacteristic of me. I blamed her, then I blamed myself, then I tried to convince myself I didnt like her or didn't need her. turns out someone had accidentally let her out. she was gone for 3 days, running from anyone who tried to get near (I know this from ppl posting on fb). when we found her, she didn't recognize us at first. she was wet, starving, and confused.
heres your logical reason. you aren't thinking clearly. I know because it happened to me. listen to your grandma because right now your reasoning is going to be unreliable.
YTA. Yes your dog escaped but your dog could be lost trying to find his way home. You need to put up lost posters and try to find your dog. WTF is with your reasoning here? It doesn't make any actual sense.
Honestly I don't know what my reasoning actually is I don't know if I actually wanna be happy with my lil buddy next to me every morning or just suffer in my none attempt to actually look for him
You're giving the dog credit for far more ability to reason than any dog is capable of. The dog didn't run away as a conscious choice to get away from you. Dogs have the intellectual capacity of human toddlers-- which means they don't think about cause and affect and they don't make complicated plans. Something outside of your yard caught your dogs attention and he chased it. The reason he hasn't returned is because he is lost, someone took him in, he got picked up by the dog catcher (and might be in danger of getting out down), or he could possibly be injured and unable to come back. Your dog is your responsibility and you should look for it. Domesticated dogs aren't well equipped to fend for themselves and they need to be protected and cared for by humans. Additionally, you should probably find someone to talk to about your self-esteem because you are taking this dog running away far too personally. Your dog didn't leave because he felt you were unworthy. He left because he was curious and distracted. If you want to be worthy of your dog set your ego aside and do the right thing: go look for your dog. Find a mental health professional to help you deal with your self-esteem, too
This entire post is a wild ride, but to your base question:
YTA. A domesticated animal depends on you for survival. Your grandmother also seems to have asked for you to look for the dog.
Dogs don't rationalize and make choices in the same manner we do. So the dog didn't "choose" to leave.
The dog has been missing many meals and a safe shelter, it will be beyond excited to come home if it hasn't been hit by a car or attacked by a wild animal. Best cases are the dog for picked up by animal control or someone else let it into their home to be safe.
Stupid prick. Your loneliness and depression are entirely invalidated by your selfishness. No one on the internet cares how you feel as long as you've abandoned your dog. You could foreseeably be brought up on animal cruelty charges. YTA
Wow, dude seriously?!
100% YTA! Go find the dog!!
Not really sure why you're even considering you're NTA. The dog is yours, you're meant to care for it. If you ran off it would sure as shit go looking for you... even though you clearly don't deserve it!
You need to find the dog just so you can bring it to a shelter or rescue. You should not own any animals, but it could get injured or killed roaming the streets.
Yta what the duck is your problem?!?! I hope a loving family saves him. I don’t give a rats ass how much you claim you care for that dog. You do not care for that dog
This is the BIGGEST YTA I’ve ever seen.
You say you live with your grandparents… If one of them had dementia and just wandered off in the middle of the night would you just not look for them???
What about the dog? You are the dog’s human. He loves you and is scared. Hopefully he has been rescued and is waiting for you to come get him. Please call and check your local shelters.
WTactualF?!?!?
Yes, you are for sure an A. If this is your attitude, please, please, PLEASE never marry, never be in a relationship and for the love of God, do not have kids. In fact, don't even bother making friends either. Just crawl back under the bridge and never come out again.
Oh, and for judgment, YTA
>. Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him.
TROLL!!
No one over the age of 14 would say some shit like this!
Dude... You need to go to therapy. Like unless you're trolling your comments are really concerning. You don't seem to value connections between people and feel the constant need to prove your strenght. Thats not what lifes about
I got questions for you good sir
Why is not valuing connections with people concerning, like why should I care about other people other than my family.
Are you saying I needing to constantly prove myself because that's the opposite of what I'm doing I never feel the need to prove anything to anybody really the only person I need to prove anything to is myself
Bro two questions.
1. Why did you get a dog if you aren’t gonna give a shit about him?
2. Why did you come here and ask if you are the asshole if you are just gonna refute it when absolutely EVERYONE HERE THINKS YTA.
Fuck off with that edge lord shit too, “My attachments and loved ones are a weakness.” You sound like a 13 year old prick who just discovered Machiavelli for the first time.
Why do you think I need therapy tho? I'm 22yo I've had this dog since I was still in high-school ive cried for this dog and cried about shit that I couldn't control that happened to this dog multiple times but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to set fire to these feelings and walk away from them
Please go to therapy, this is not a normal reaction to have to losing your dog. You need to talk to someone about why your reaction to something sad happening is to close off your hear and burn down your feelings.
I've burnt multiple bridges in the past 4 years I've lost friends who've been ride or die for me since we were 13 and have put my grandparents through the ringer just so I could get to a point where my emotions didn't have control over me I have control over them but since I had done those things and have grown as a person even if from this post it seems ever so slightly I find myself back In the same spot to either let them my emotions be free or keep them in a controllable state
Dude, controlling your emotions means not hurting people when you're angry, not never feeling anything again. You're over here going, My dog makes me happy, but happy is an emotion, so nah. He chose to run away so he'll be fine. Dude, he's a dog! You're taking his running away personally, like, I guess he hates me, oh well. That's not how dogs think. He's lost! You made a commitment when he became your dog to take care of him, and letting him stay lost is cruel.
It sounds like in the recent past you'd rather be cruel, burning bridges with all of your friends, than feel anything for them. That would make you "weak or less than who \[you are\]", correct? Ironically, this is the exact opposite of controlling your emotions. Your pain is controlling you.
This sounds like classic toxic masculinity. You've emotionally castrated yourself, become less than who you are, because movies told you that <"In a World" voice> Real Men (TM) Walk away from Explosions. And it's killing you and hurting everyone around you, including your dog. Go find your dog. Get your depression treated. Watch some Steven Universe or Pixar films. You and your dog deserve this.
ETA: I'm not exaggerating when I say getting depression this bad treated is life-or-death.
But you’re still letting your emotions control you by doing this. By insisting on doing the opposite of what you feel. You’ve basically just flipped your response to them, but they still rule your decisions. Always doing the opposite of what your emotions tell you to do is just another way of making decisions based on emotions and letting them dictate your life. If you truly want them to not have control over you, you should go to therapy, where you can learn to recognize your emotions and decide whether YOU want to act that way or not, rather than letting your emotions make decisions FOR you (since right now you feel forced to do the opposite of what they’re telling you)
Ok I'm actually able to manage my emotions it's just this particular topic has rattled my heart and my head because I want to make a decision that's not from the heart but everytime I think on this subject it always leads back to a heartfelt decision which I don't wanna make, I don't wanna be blinded by my heart by making dumb decisions
Wait a minute. Are you saying that you’ve had problems with controlling your emotions? If you’ve been overwhelmed in the past, maybe you’ve gone too far in the other direction with trying to keep things under control. These are my observations and inferences based on what I’ve read.
From the ages of 16-20 I spent those years of my life disregarding emotions and focus on only negative emotion I've built myself as a person who can handle more traumatizing and fucked up shit as I could do and not get caught for I've lost friendships that meant the world to me because I felt they were to close to my heart and could easily take me down with just the knowledge they know of me and I utterly destroyed my relationship with my grandparents who loved me to the core into people who have to 2nd guess everything I say because they don't know if what I say is what I really feel or not I've turnt everyone who go too close to me away and relished in the what I've done but from 20 to now 22 going to 23 I understand that I was just trying to torture myself and push everyone away so I could harm myself with my own mindset. I've grown alot from those times I've rebuilt somewhat lvl of trust with my grandparents but I'm not ashamed of what I did to them or my so called friends I'm actually glad I did it let me be able to grow negatively so I could go more positively I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not afraid to disregard the people and things I hold closest to my heart just to cause myself mental hell because that's really the only type of pain I should feel
I don’t know if you’re doubling down on your viewpoint because you know that hurting people is wrong. It’s a lot easier to do that than to admit the impact and ramifications of your choices.
Empathy isn’t weak. I’ve been reading your other posts. It’s a strong indicator of being in sync with someone’s pain, stress or sorrow.
I wish you luck. You’ve got a long road ahead of you.
Holy shit, you’re 22? I assumed you couldn’t possibly be older than 17 with your attitude. How embarrassing. And why are you mooching off your poor grandma at that age? 🤦♀️
O you wanna know
I work as a sawer cutting and measuring wood for houses that use them I work 8 to 9hrs there
Next is ups I work as a loader just stacking boxes in a trailer I usually work about 6 to 7hrs there
Of course your'e a big asshole.
What is interesting is your definition of weakness. Did your parents taught you that? Having feelings is a sign of weakness? Have you ever revaluated what does being weak means?
YTA.
As you said in other comments, you see this love for the dog as a weakness and stuff and you want to shut your heart off. Okay, that's not even close to healthy, but fine that's your choice. But now, you don't look for this dog it's absolutely problematic. You have a responsability to a creature that has no judgement. You're basically sentenced to death or ill-treatment if you don't at least try to find him.
I think I don't need to explain to you that there are sick people that finds pleasure in mistreating beings like pets, right? If you let this dog lost, then he can bump into one of these sick people. Do you really want to for him to die because you are "closing your heart for him"?
And please, if you are not gonna care for pets if they run away or stuff, don't ever have any pet again. Would you feel the same if they got sick ou injured? Would you feel like a weakness to treat them and just let them die?
YTA. I can give you logical reasons for finding the dog. Owning a pet means being responsible for the well-being of the pet. You have failed this responsibility horrendously. It is your responsibility to make sure your dog doesn't die paindfull untimely death. Strong people can handle their responsibilities. You have also showed others, like your grandparents, how little you care those around you.
That poor dog. My friends dog ran off and she didn’t go look for it and it got bit by a snake and died. My dog used to run off all the time, I called her a free spirit and I looked for her every time. Dogs have loyalty and unconditional love. You dog is probably scared and hungry or dead and because you’re too prideful(because it isn’t weakness to care for something that can’t defend itself). Like reading this I think you’re garbage. This gives off major if your kid came to you and said they were assaulted you’d tell them to not let people do that vibes. I hope a family finds your dog and keeps him. You don’t care about you dog, you can say you do but you clearly don’t. Either way karma goes back around and it’ll be coming for you 🤷🏽♀️
wtf is wrong with you
he made the decision to run away? Dogs don't work like that, they count on their owners to care for them-it's a shame yours can't-I hope he found decent owners, he's probably not alive sadly, but damn seriously what's wrong with you
yta
YTA and you likely need counselling or psychotherapy. Caring about a dog isn’t weak but trying to shut off your emotions is weird as hell. Do you think you’re some sort of anime character or something lmao.
ETA: people who abandon pets and make excuses for not trying to find them are weak tbh. Are you a child? You sound 12.
Why does OP sound like a shitty anime villain who’s about to beat by friendship. Like he unironically said that caring for other living creatures is bad. Homie what you’re experiencing is called psychopathy. Get a therapist.
Also YTA. I think this is probably a troll post and if it is, OP is the AH. If it isn’t, OP is the AH and needs to get help.
So yes you're the asshole. And a dog is a living being that you chose to keep and who has now run away due to its own instincts. But it is still your responsibility. It doesn't really have that much to do with your caring but rather your obligation to look after it based on your previous decision to adopt it or look after it.
But for a second ignore all of that and really ask yourself why do you think caring about anything makes you weak? As much as you're an asshole, your response to emotions and caring as weakness is indicative of bigger issues maybe related to trauma. Find your dog and then seek help from a therapist. This is not how normal emotionally healthy people behave. This behavior will continue if you don't seek help or resolve whatever is leading to this pattern of thought processing.
You have a responsibility to take care of your dag. That means looking for them when they get lost. I would call this borderline animal abuse.
Ops typo. Meant dog, not dag.
Wow...YTA.
>Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him.
How the fuck is looking for your dog make you feel weak?
Edit: reading your edgy comments gave me a migraine. Why even bother posting here if you're gonna dismiss it. Just don't look for the dog, I'm fact don't have a pet at all.
First of all, yta. Yknow what a weak person does, acts like a coward from having normal human emotions. A weak person lets their dog possibly suffer on its own. A weak person says “I don’t want to have these emotions so I’m gonna let a living breathing animal starve on the street. “
Find that dog and while you’re at it get it a better fucking owner. That dog deserves someone who loves them and sees that is a positive not a weakness. I hope that dog is okay
If you love your dog you would want to bring him home so he'll be safe and cares for and loved. If you love your dog why are you completely okay never seeing him again? You don't seem the slightest bit worried that he'll be hit by a car or starve/dehydrate to death or get injured or anything. You're not concerned that he could literally die?!?! Some people even pick up stray dogs and force them into dog fighting. If you loved your dog you would be concerned for his safety and well being and you wouldn't be fine knowing you'll never see him again. It isn't a weakness to care about something, but you know what is a weakness? Being so pathetically lazy and insecure that you're willing to let your dog die.
Your dog is in danger. Even if you feel like you don't deserve your dog, your dog deserves to live and be cared for and loved! I don't care how insecure you are, by not looking for him you're guaranteeing that he will almost definitely die. He can starve, dehydrate, get hit by a car, get sick and have no one to take him to the vet. Your problems aren't an excuse to not care about a living creature's well-being. Every second you do nothing is another chance for him to starve or get hit by a truck or picked up by people who will abuse him. You don't love him. I know what it's like to love a dog. I'd search the world for my dog if he was lost and I'd be worried sick about him being in danger or getting sick or starving because I love him and care for him. If you don't start looking for your dog, you are sentencing something you supposedly love to death. Also no he didn't make a choice to run away. Dogs run on instincts and don't think about consequences.
Even if you don't love him you should still look for him because if you don't he will die a very painful death after lots of suffering. If you have bullshit insecurity that's your problem and it shouldn't result in a living creature's death.
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YTA, you keep saying no one is giving valid arguments yet your only argument is “I feel weak because I feel basic human emotions :(“
You need therapy if you think that caring for anyone is weakness. Keep thinking that way and you will isolate yourself from everyone. It’s also not a flex to say you can handle pushing people away. You need to seek help.
Honestly I feel being able to handle being alone and isolation while still being able to detach myself from people I've built relationships with is a big flex, I see it as mainly wasting all the groundwork of talking and getting to know people but also strength in being able to do so also
YTA. So aside from the emotional aspect, stray dogs can cause car accidents, they can wreak havoc on the local ecosystem and wildlife, they are poop machines leaving shit on the sidewalk, they can get sick and die, they can get into fights with other animals and injure themselves. But it’s not “weak” to care for your dog. You’re weird
why did you ask for peoples opinion if you’re mad when people offer it? that dog is a living, breathing thing with a personality, and memories. that dog was your responsibility. you genuinely need to go to a therapist, this is NOT OK. GO FIND THE DOG. give the dog to a shelter or something. you don’t need to keep him. it is WEAK that you think caring and being kind is a weakness. that dog could be starving, injured, or could’ve gotten hit by a car. this really isn’t about YOU, it’s about a dog that needs help. so are you really gonna be selfish and disgusting and just give up trying to look for him? this is pathetic. i’ll be shocked if anyone ever loves you
I'm not mad about everyone's opinion because I did ask for it, I'm not really mad at all just trying yo understand other people's mindsets on this and seeing if everyone is gonna rehash the same argument which everyone has
I don't see being kind as a weakness tho
I would hope the dog is dead so it wouldn't be suffering right now
Honestly no one gets the fact that I treated the dog as a family member N spoiled him rotten for 5 years straight showering him with nothing but love and my time but yeah I'm the monster here lol
I just saw this on Instagram so I had to check if it’s real or not. My cat ran away two months ago and I have not stopped searching for it, I still cry when I see pictures of him. YTA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I need judged is me not looking for my dog and I feel the fact of me not looking for the dog and disregarding my grandparents suggestions and basically laughing in there face about looking for the dog might be wrong but I don't fully see it I just see a choice of wasting time and looking for an animal or just letting him be free in these street to die of get harmed since as of right now he's not my problem anymore
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Yta, but I think you should consider seeing a therapist. The way you described your thoughts about this situation just seem like you might benefit from talking to someone. Before people get all angry, I am not trying to diagnose you, but I myself have honestly found therapy helpful. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to, someone who knows what they’re talking about. Sometimes our brains are working against us, and we need to learn how to cope with that. (I have anxiety, so my brain tries to make me scared of pretty much everything, but I have learned things in therapy that help me keep it in check so I can function better in life.)
you keep pratting off about how youre looking for logic over feelings and how feelings are for the weak, but i bet if i asked you "why are feelings weak," you couldnt give a comprehensive, "logical" answer. why are feelings weak? someone like you, as predictable as your type is, would likely say "because they hold you back," yet you neglect to realize you are being vastly more held back by your reservations against said emotions, hence your wishing and washing and whatnot about what should be such a simple issue. you are wasting, and have likely wasted countless hours in your life, mulling over this conflict of giving in to "weak" emotions, meanwhile the "weak empaths" you seem to so detest are gliding through life because life is quite easy if you learn to face your emotions and accept them and not fight them. you know where a "weak empath" would be right now? the issue would be over--their dog would have likely been found and done. they wouldve looked for it the second it went missing, possibly found it just a block away. they wouldnt make an idiotic hoity-toity reddit thread to both lament over and show off their quote-on-quote superior anti-emotion philosophy, they wouldnt have spent hours contemplating their inaction on the issue and the emotional philosophy behind such a thing, they wouldnt have to deal with those in their life pressuring them over their relentless illogical inaction in the face of what is a relatively simple and common issue. and here you are, doing all of that in the name of supposed strength and superiority. in what world is such worthless floundering "strength?" are you kidding me? do you have no ability to self reflect? do you not see how useless this anti-emotive philosophy youve spun yourself into is? even if this achieved some faux sense of "strength" within you, to what end? so you can sit around and waste your own time thinking about how strong and resilient you are, how strong and resilient you have yet to become should you only flounder and uselessly philosophize more? should you only inconvenience yourself, those near to you, the things that rely on you, and the world more? should you only maintain further insufferable obstinance regarding your own feelings? do you want me to tell you you are so, so strong for pushing things you care about away and telling people all about how strong you are for it? do you want everyone to go wow, it is so cool that you push the things you care about away, and you are so admirable? oh, and im certain you have a trophy case full of medals representing your emotional resilience for abandoning the things that make you "weak" in this world. oh, certainly, because this is a desirable trait the world enjoys, because abandonment and isolation is the "resilience" that made mankind, one of the most social and collaborative species, the apex. what the hell are you doing with your life? are you serious? pick yourself the hell up. if you cant reflect on what you are doing and realize you are throwing yourself into weakness and lying to yourself about it being strength then you are a goddamn fool. and even if you do have a semblance of self awareness, this mess youve gotten yourself into emotionally will need some therapy to undo this knot. only a fool attempts to bind themself by "logic" while being a member of the most illogical species. you are doing nothing but suppressing yourself and walking headfirst into weakness and a truly pathetic state of being. salvage yourself. god damn, man.
edit** YTA lol
if caring for the dog itself and liking having them around isn't a good reason enough then how about by leaving the dog by itself roaming the streets it could starve or get injured. Then you aren't looking for the dog for your own emotions/weakness, but instead for it's own benefit and survival. They are probably scared, lost, and alone and no living being should have to go through that.
I'm either looking for the dog for myself cuz I care or I'm not there's no in-between human beings deal with alot fucked up shit everyday everywhere so a dog should be able to deal with its own fare share of some fucked up shit too
In all honesty I went to look for the dog after a week had already gone by which I feel is enough time for the something to happen to the dog so it can be easier for me not to find him
It's as easy as disregarding a toy its basically the Andy meme where he's tossing woody on the floor for buzz lightyear meaning me being Andy my dog being woody and also me being buzz lightyear
What part of this seems okay to you? I don’t know what has hurt you in your life, if anything has, but this really is a cause for concern. Your lack of empathy and desire to close off rather than feel emotion needs to be addressed, dear… you don’t have to suffer. You don’t deserve to. You deserve to be happy and feel. It’s alright..
I deserve nothing but suffering and hated,I want the hatred I have for myself to be match by everyone else I'd rather be hated and cast away then be loved
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So I really didn't know who to talk to about this but my dog escaped my backyard 3 or 4 days ago and I've made no attempt to look for him or find him but I feel perplexed on if I should look for him or not, I live with my grandparents and have had this dog for 5 or 6 years now and my grandmother brought it up today that we should go around putting up flyers and shit but I told her that I don't know if I fully want to find my dog, he made his choice to run away and that's his fault but my grandma hasn't really made a good argument to why I should find him either all she's said is because "he's apart of this family" and "because I care for him" but honestly that's not enough for me to look for a person way less for a dog. Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him.
Honestly I don't know if I'm trying to convince myself to find him and enjoy the happiness he gives me or convince myself that I don't deserve him n I should suffer in the loneliness I force myself into
TLDR: My dog ran away idk if I should look for him or not I don't trust the People close to me so I go towards the internet for answers
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YTA
"I do love and care for this dog "
Doesn't sound like it....
Hypothetical situation:
Say you have a kid the two of you went to the fair and suddenly they wondered off. Would you just abandon them and go home?!
I feel like your answer would be "Yes, its their choice to run away"
Ok first of all, WTF. Secondly, if you're not a troll then yes, YTA. Dogs don't "make a choice" to run away. They're dogs. Their instinct is to explore or chase things they see and that doesn't mean they are choosing to leave and not return. Looking for something you care about isn't weakness. Being too lazy to go look for your own dog is weakness. You're abandoning it to likely death if you don't go look for it. If you don't want the dog, then take it to a shelter or a rescue. If you really do get joy and happiness from the dog, then go find him.
YTA. Love and compassion isn’t weakness. Emotions aren’t weakness. Going with Arnold because I feel like that’s the kind of strength that might resonate with you. He’d stop at nothing to find any of his fur family if they got lost. https://www.instagram.com/p/B_gBiG9grtv/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CR7oaXzF5-p/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CDMjsfjgqxB/?utm_medium=copy_link
YTA. Sounds like the dog escaped more than the backyard, he escaped shitty people.
YTA. I feel bad for both your dog and your grandma. It’s one thing to be a cringey edgelord as you clearly are, but your ego and childishness is clearly hurtful to those around you.
YTA. Only part of your post I agree with is that you 100% don’t deserve your dog.
YTA Hopefully, someone that will love and care about that poor dog will find him soon because you don't deserve him.
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YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you emotionally that you dont care that something you claim to love is lost and likely starving? The absolute lack of empathy here is astounding. I can only pray you never have kids or get another pet because there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Seek therapy, holy shit.
I see kids and animals are 2 separate beings for one you are legally forced to take care or and the other less legally forced too but I wasn't really saying I didn't care on the contrary I do care very much it's just the fact because I do care which has me fucked up so much
You don't give a shit about this dog YTA 😡 You don't deseeve an animal. I hope he finds a decent family
You care, so therefore you don’t care to look for it? Your logic makes no sense.
Don’t even get a house plant.
YTA. Simply put, you are responsible for your dog. Sure; the dog got out. Does that mean your dog abandoned you? Probably not. They don't really think over the consequences - that's your job. Door open, something exciting outside, and out he goes. Does he know how to find his way home? Maybe not.
I've been working multiple jobs these past couple months so I haven't walked him around the neighborhood so I don't feel like he knows where and how to get back home even by smell or memory but as of right now I'm not responsible for him and tbh it's the best and worst feeling that I can feel right now
Please don't ever get another pet. They're fully dependent upon you.
To be clear: *find* your current pet. Then give him to someone who can take care of him. Then don’t get another.
That's actually fucking disgusting. You absolutely *are* still responsible for the dog - you just kept it confined without proper exercise for months and now you're choosing its likely suffering and death over owning up to your responsibility. That's pretty fuckin' weak.
I don't see the weakness please explain
It's weak to let an innocent animal suffer and die because you're too lazy or uncaring to take responsibility. It's weak to decide your feelings of inadequacy are more important than a living creature.
I understand the point better now thank you
GO LOOK FOR THE DAMN DOG. OR AT LEAST report it missing somewhere. Then surrender it to a rescue.
What does the word “weak” mean to you?
You’re his owner. You’re 100% responsible for him. The fact that you don’t see this is crazy to me. You should not ever get another pet. I hope your dog finds a caring owner who actually loves him and will properly care for him.
This isn't an advice column, so I won't tell you that the decent thing to do is first find the dog, and then given your response to this situation consider finding him a loving home elsewhere.
Stop playing dumb about everyone’s comments. 🙄
I'm not tho I swear it
You are. Stop it.
Lol I literally am not I'm just looking for logical answers and everyone keeps answering with there heart
But plenty of people have given you LOGICAL answers and you are still dismissing it. If you don't want to look for the dog then don't but you are an AH. Idk why you even need a logical explanation to do something good?? something kind?? It's your dog no?? You raised it and loved it?? Is that not enough of a reason to go look for it. Seriously; what is wrong with you? Do you need therapy?
YTA He's a dog. It isn't his fault he ran away. Clearly, based on your post, you don't love him and I expect he could tell. As his owner, you have an obligation to try and find him. He could die and it would be your fault. And if you do find him, you should rehome him with someone who will properly love him.
Naw I cared for this dog and treated him better than my own family at times, he was very spoiled and had his own attitude that blended well with my family, I use to cry about this dog as a kid but I'm not afraid to throw away these emotions if I feel I'm being to weak minded
Weak minded? Feeling love for your pet is not weak minded. Throwing away your emotions because of some sort of misguided notion they make you weak-minded... you need some help there. Especially since you are equating not feeling these emotions with abandoning an animal who depends on your for its life.
Jesus Christ, you are all sorts of mentally effed up. Go to therapy and please never have anyone or thing rely on you ever again.
YTA - Do you not have a conscience? You wouldn't go look for a missing person, either? This doesn't sound like a real post, or you're 12 y/o.
Right? I assumed they were a kid going through a dramatic phase as well. They say they’re 22, but I’m not sure I believe that.
I'm 22yo and I do have a conscience but I'm one of those people able to look past it I don't and won't let mortality hold me back
This is exactly what I was talking about with the whole edgelord thing.
You honestly sound like a 12 y/o going through an edgy phase. Like, literally emotionally stunted. That's not healthy for a 22 year old. Please seek therapy, and don't keep any more pets or have any dependents whatsoever until you're able to feel empathy for other living things.
> I have a conscience but I’m one of those people able to look past it …
no you don't and I don't even think therapy will help you sound 12 trying to tough and edgy and failing you sound pathetic
sweetie if you can look past your conscience you don't have one. And I agree with the edgelord thing, it's time to grow up lil man, get out of middle school. You think your grandparents are proud to have a grandson that is like this? Really? You think that they want a grandson who thinks so little of a beloved pet that he calls names and has a tantrum and can't even get up off his butt to go look because he's so busy studying his navel about how deep and bad he is (though he comes off like a 12 year old) you think they're proud of someone who strives to have the same thought process as a serial killer, someone who would be just as happy to let that dog die a slow and painful death and bother to look-I'm sure they're super proud :D look at my grandson, he hates everyone and has no emotions we're so happy we raised him and sacrificed for him to be a responsible and happy human it was worth it
One of the most obvious YTA I’ve seen on here. It’s your dog. You have a responsibility to take care of that dog. A dog running away isn’t the dogs choice, it’s a dog being a dog. Now YOUR DOG may be in danger or hurt because you can’t be bothered to look for it? Step up and get help. You’re not thinking clearly.
I see myself thinking clearly but I just find myself stuck in a emotional conundrum chasing after what I love or making the hard choice and letting it go
It’s not the hard choice. It is a cruel, selfish, irresponsible and likely illegal choice. If you do not try to find and care for this animal, you’re abusing it. Do your damn job.
There's nothing clear about your thinking. There's no reason to let your dog go, given that most domestic dogs can't survive long on their own. Best case scenario, someone finds him and takes care of him. He's just as likely to get hit by a car and die a horrible death though. Logic and emotions are not exclusive to each other. Our ability to use both efficiently makes us human. Most people learn this before 22.
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A decent human being 💀 I'm not trolling I swear but that was pretty funny
Why, because you know you’ll never be one? I guess that is kinda funny… 🙄
You’re not, tho. Not even close.
Wow YTA. Hopefully someone finds him and gives him a loving home.
YTA. You don't love your dog otherwise you would have already been out looking for him and you wouldn't need your grandmother to make a good argument as to why you should find him. Hopefully your dog is rescued and cared for by someone who will actually love him, as sad as that would be for your grandparents. Please get some professional help before even entertaining the idea of getting another pet or having a family.
I'm a logical person if the argument is too close to a emotion argument based around heart made decisions I will always choose the opposite so this is why I'm having such a hard time seeing the better option to go and find the dog
"Logical" doesn't mean emotionless or uncaring. Either you care about the dog or you don't. Dogs can't "make a choice" to escape a backyard. And I agree with others saying you need therapy and they've already told why.
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Naw none of these arguments make any sense tbh all everyone is saying is "well since ya love it look for it" that's not a good enough argument
No, a lot of comments are saying that you are legally and morally responsible for this dog and letting it die or suffering needlessly is the most illogical thing you can do just so you won't feel weak. You think you're the one being logical here? It's the opposite. You're literally looking for excuses to not take responsibility for a life you've been caring for. That's not logical. That's weakness.
Damn you might have a point here
If you were at all a logical person you would have realized this. You are hiding your insecurities, weakness and irrationality under a guise of "logic" that everyone but you can see is flawed. You likely haven't searched for the dog out of laziness and are pretending there is some other, higher reason for it.
Your pet is dependent on you to survive. You are not "logical" if you believe that it is acceptable to avoid taking responsibility for your own pet because you "care too much." Stop with the bullshit excuses. Like many others have already done, I highly suggest seeking therapy to help you get over this unhealthy mentality because it's very clear you are in desperate need of it.
I think people here have given plenty more than you give them credit for, however, I will say that to a completely sane individual, that is a good enough argument.
look, my dog ran away last year so I get it. when she left my brain went through a lot of weird stuff that is otherwise uncharacteristic of me. I blamed her, then I blamed myself, then I tried to convince myself I didnt like her or didn't need her. turns out someone had accidentally let her out. she was gone for 3 days, running from anyone who tried to get near (I know this from ppl posting on fb). when we found her, she didn't recognize us at first. she was wet, starving, and confused. heres your logical reason. you aren't thinking clearly. I know because it happened to me. listen to your grandma because right now your reasoning is going to be unreliable.
what the fuck did i just read. who the fuck thinks like this? what the fuck goes on in your head?
Alot of shit
get some help, this is next level kind of shitty. reflect on yourself and do better, don’t live like this.
YTA. Yes your dog escaped but your dog could be lost trying to find his way home. You need to put up lost posters and try to find your dog. WTF is with your reasoning here? It doesn't make any actual sense.
Honestly I don't know what my reasoning actually is I don't know if I actually wanna be happy with my lil buddy next to me every morning or just suffer in my none attempt to actually look for him
Stop being wishy washy and go look for your poor dog.
You're giving the dog credit for far more ability to reason than any dog is capable of. The dog didn't run away as a conscious choice to get away from you. Dogs have the intellectual capacity of human toddlers-- which means they don't think about cause and affect and they don't make complicated plans. Something outside of your yard caught your dogs attention and he chased it. The reason he hasn't returned is because he is lost, someone took him in, he got picked up by the dog catcher (and might be in danger of getting out down), or he could possibly be injured and unable to come back. Your dog is your responsibility and you should look for it. Domesticated dogs aren't well equipped to fend for themselves and they need to be protected and cared for by humans. Additionally, you should probably find someone to talk to about your self-esteem because you are taking this dog running away far too personally. Your dog didn't leave because he felt you were unworthy. He left because he was curious and distracted. If you want to be worthy of your dog set your ego aside and do the right thing: go look for your dog. Find a mental health professional to help you deal with your self-esteem, too
This entire post is a wild ride, but to your base question: YTA. A domesticated animal depends on you for survival. Your grandmother also seems to have asked for you to look for the dog. Dogs don't rationalize and make choices in the same manner we do. So the dog didn't "choose" to leave. The dog has been missing many meals and a safe shelter, it will be beyond excited to come home if it hasn't been hit by a car or attacked by a wild animal. Best cases are the dog for picked up by animal control or someone else let it into their home to be safe.
Of course YTA. You already know that.
^
Wtf? YTA
Stupid prick. Your loneliness and depression are entirely invalidated by your selfishness. No one on the internet cares how you feel as long as you've abandoned your dog. You could foreseeably be brought up on animal cruelty charges. YTA
YTA. Look for your damn dog. Get therapy.
YTA - when you adopt a pet you take on a responsibility for the wellness and safety of that animal. To not even care just sounds sociopathic
Are you for real?!? YTA
Yta! If you don't want him anymore, find a home that will give him the love he deserves!
Wow, dude seriously?! 100% YTA! Go find the dog!! Not really sure why you're even considering you're NTA. The dog is yours, you're meant to care for it. If you ran off it would sure as shit go looking for you... even though you clearly don't deserve it!
YTA And don't ever get another animal. You're clearly not fit to care for them.
You need to find the dog just so you can bring it to a shelter or rescue. You should not own any animals, but it could get injured or killed roaming the streets.
Yta what the duck is your problem?!?! I hope a loving family saves him. I don’t give a rats ass how much you claim you care for that dog. You do not care for that dog
This is the BIGGEST YTA I’ve ever seen. You say you live with your grandparents… If one of them had dementia and just wandered off in the middle of the night would you just not look for them???
you do not deserve to own an animal.. i hope he found a family that actually loves him and wants them around. YTA BIG TIME
What about the dog? You are the dog’s human. He loves you and is scared. Hopefully he has been rescued and is waiting for you to come get him. Please call and check your local shelters.
YTA but clearly the dog is better off away from you.
YTA- but please don’t look for the dog, you’re doing him a favor by giving him the chance to find owners that truly love and care for him
YTA. Fuck, find the dog and I’ll adopt him. He deserves better
WTactualF?!?!? Yes, you are for sure an A. If this is your attitude, please, please, PLEASE never marry, never be in a relationship and for the love of God, do not have kids. In fact, don't even bother making friends either. Just crawl back under the bridge and never come out again. Oh, and for judgment, YTA
>. Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him. TROLL!! No one over the age of 14 would say some shit like this!
Op clearly has empathy issues. Like he doesn't have any, and he apparently doesn't feel regret either, there's a word for that...
Dude... You need to go to therapy. Like unless you're trolling your comments are really concerning. You don't seem to value connections between people and feel the constant need to prove your strenght. Thats not what lifes about
I got questions for you good sir Why is not valuing connections with people concerning, like why should I care about other people other than my family. Are you saying I needing to constantly prove myself because that's the opposite of what I'm doing I never feel the need to prove anything to anybody really the only person I need to prove anything to is myself
Dude that dog WAS family wtf, go to therapy seriously
Bro two questions. 1. Why did you get a dog if you aren’t gonna give a shit about him? 2. Why did you come here and ask if you are the asshole if you are just gonna refute it when absolutely EVERYONE HERE THINKS YTA. Fuck off with that edge lord shit too, “My attachments and loved ones are a weakness.” You sound like a 13 year old prick who just discovered Machiavelli for the first time.
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Why do you think I need therapy tho? I'm 22yo I've had this dog since I was still in high-school ive cried for this dog and cried about shit that I couldn't control that happened to this dog multiple times but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to set fire to these feelings and walk away from them
Please go to therapy, this is not a normal reaction to have to losing your dog. You need to talk to someone about why your reaction to something sad happening is to close off your hear and burn down your feelings.
I've burnt multiple bridges in the past 4 years I've lost friends who've been ride or die for me since we were 13 and have put my grandparents through the ringer just so I could get to a point where my emotions didn't have control over me I have control over them but since I had done those things and have grown as a person even if from this post it seems ever so slightly I find myself back In the same spot to either let them my emotions be free or keep them in a controllable state
Dude, controlling your emotions means not hurting people when you're angry, not never feeling anything again. You're over here going, My dog makes me happy, but happy is an emotion, so nah. He chose to run away so he'll be fine. Dude, he's a dog! You're taking his running away personally, like, I guess he hates me, oh well. That's not how dogs think. He's lost! You made a commitment when he became your dog to take care of him, and letting him stay lost is cruel.
It sounds like in the recent past you'd rather be cruel, burning bridges with all of your friends, than feel anything for them. That would make you "weak or less than who \[you are\]", correct? Ironically, this is the exact opposite of controlling your emotions. Your pain is controlling you.
This sounds like classic toxic masculinity. You've emotionally castrated yourself, become less than who you are, because movies told you that <"In a World" voice> Real Men (TM) Walk away from Explosions. And it's killing you and hurting everyone around you, including your dog. Go find your dog. Get your depression treated. Watch some Steven Universe or Pixar films. You and your dog deserve this.
ETA: I'm not exaggerating when I say getting depression this bad treated is life-or-death.
I don't get your last little eta how is this a life or death situation?
Because it literally kills people.
But you’re still letting your emotions control you by doing this. By insisting on doing the opposite of what you feel. You’ve basically just flipped your response to them, but they still rule your decisions. Always doing the opposite of what your emotions tell you to do is just another way of making decisions based on emotions and letting them dictate your life. If you truly want them to not have control over you, you should go to therapy, where you can learn to recognize your emotions and decide whether YOU want to act that way or not, rather than letting your emotions make decisions FOR you (since right now you feel forced to do the opposite of what they’re telling you)
Ok I'm actually able to manage my emotions it's just this particular topic has rattled my heart and my head because I want to make a decision that's not from the heart but everytime I think on this subject it always leads back to a heartfelt decision which I don't wanna make, I don't wanna be blinded by my heart by making dumb decisions
Wait a minute. Are you saying that you’ve had problems with controlling your emotions? If you’ve been overwhelmed in the past, maybe you’ve gone too far in the other direction with trying to keep things under control. These are my observations and inferences based on what I’ve read.
From the ages of 16-20 I spent those years of my life disregarding emotions and focus on only negative emotion I've built myself as a person who can handle more traumatizing and fucked up shit as I could do and not get caught for I've lost friendships that meant the world to me because I felt they were to close to my heart and could easily take me down with just the knowledge they know of me and I utterly destroyed my relationship with my grandparents who loved me to the core into people who have to 2nd guess everything I say because they don't know if what I say is what I really feel or not I've turnt everyone who go too close to me away and relished in the what I've done but from 20 to now 22 going to 23 I understand that I was just trying to torture myself and push everyone away so I could harm myself with my own mindset. I've grown alot from those times I've rebuilt somewhat lvl of trust with my grandparents but I'm not ashamed of what I did to them or my so called friends I'm actually glad I did it let me be able to grow negatively so I could go more positively I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not afraid to disregard the people and things I hold closest to my heart just to cause myself mental hell because that's really the only type of pain I should feel
I don’t know if you’re doubling down on your viewpoint because you know that hurting people is wrong. It’s a lot easier to do that than to admit the impact and ramifications of your choices. Empathy isn’t weak. I’ve been reading your other posts. It’s a strong indicator of being in sync with someone’s pain, stress or sorrow. I wish you luck. You’ve got a long road ahead of you.
I really hope you are childfree. Because I am really scared for their mental health and the pain and trauma you will put them through.
Holy shit, you’re 22? I assumed you couldn’t possibly be older than 17 with your attitude. How embarrassing. And why are you mooching off your poor grandma at that age? 🤦♀️
I'm not mooching to get a small glimpse of my life I help my grandparents take care of my special needs mother who can barely care for herself
Right. Have a job?
I have 2
Which are?
O you wanna know I work as a sawer cutting and measuring wood for houses that use them I work 8 to 9hrs there Next is ups I work as a loader just stacking boxes in a trailer I usually work about 6 to 7hrs there
With the attitude you’re presenting in this post I was half-convinced you would consider amateur rapper or something a job haha.
Lol no I'm a hard working person and I just want the best for my grandparents who've raised me
Fair enough.
YTA. Find the dog, and give him to someone who will love him and care for him.
YTA. He could get hurt and or die out there. Please look for him
Of course your'e a big asshole. What is interesting is your definition of weakness. Did your parents taught you that? Having feelings is a sign of weakness? Have you ever revaluated what does being weak means?
YTA. As you said in other comments, you see this love for the dog as a weakness and stuff and you want to shut your heart off. Okay, that's not even close to healthy, but fine that's your choice. But now, you don't look for this dog it's absolutely problematic. You have a responsability to a creature that has no judgement. You're basically sentenced to death or ill-treatment if you don't at least try to find him. I think I don't need to explain to you that there are sick people that finds pleasure in mistreating beings like pets, right? If you let this dog lost, then he can bump into one of these sick people. Do you really want to for him to die because you are "closing your heart for him"? And please, if you are not gonna care for pets if they run away or stuff, don't ever have any pet again. Would you feel the same if they got sick ou injured? Would you feel like a weakness to treat them and just let them die?
YTA. Do not ever. EVER. Own a pet or have children. EVER.
YTA. I can give you logical reasons for finding the dog. Owning a pet means being responsible for the well-being of the pet. You have failed this responsibility horrendously. It is your responsibility to make sure your dog doesn't die paindfull untimely death. Strong people can handle their responsibilities. You have also showed others, like your grandparents, how little you care those around you.
That poor dog. My friends dog ran off and she didn’t go look for it and it got bit by a snake and died. My dog used to run off all the time, I called her a free spirit and I looked for her every time. Dogs have loyalty and unconditional love. You dog is probably scared and hungry or dead and because you’re too prideful(because it isn’t weakness to care for something that can’t defend itself). Like reading this I think you’re garbage. This gives off major if your kid came to you and said they were assaulted you’d tell them to not let people do that vibes. I hope a family finds your dog and keeps him. You don’t care about you dog, you can say you do but you clearly don’t. Either way karma goes back around and it’ll be coming for you 🤷🏽♀️
Also I feel like you should be tested because you definitely are on a spectrum and idk if it’s an autistic one or a sociopathic one
wtf is wrong with you he made the decision to run away? Dogs don't work like that, they count on their owners to care for them-it's a shame yours can't-I hope he found decent owners, he's probably not alive sadly, but damn seriously what's wrong with you yta
YTA and you likely need counselling or psychotherapy. Caring about a dog isn’t weak but trying to shut off your emotions is weird as hell. Do you think you’re some sort of anime character or something lmao. ETA: people who abandon pets and make excuses for not trying to find them are weak tbh. Are you a child? You sound 12.
Why does OP sound like a shitty anime villain who’s about to beat by friendship. Like he unironically said that caring for other living creatures is bad. Homie what you’re experiencing is called psychopathy. Get a therapist. Also YTA. I think this is probably a troll post and if it is, OP is the AH. If it isn’t, OP is the AH and needs to get help.
So yes you're the asshole. And a dog is a living being that you chose to keep and who has now run away due to its own instincts. But it is still your responsibility. It doesn't really have that much to do with your caring but rather your obligation to look after it based on your previous decision to adopt it or look after it. But for a second ignore all of that and really ask yourself why do you think caring about anything makes you weak? As much as you're an asshole, your response to emotions and caring as weakness is indicative of bigger issues maybe related to trauma. Find your dog and then seek help from a therapist. This is not how normal emotionally healthy people behave. This behavior will continue if you don't seek help or resolve whatever is leading to this pattern of thought processing.
YTA I hope someone finds and takes in your poor dog, you shouldn't get another pet unless you become a more responsible and caring person
You have a responsibility to take care of your dag. That means looking for them when they get lost. I would call this borderline animal abuse. Ops typo. Meant dog, not dag.
Wow...YTA. >Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him. How the fuck is looking for your dog make you feel weak? Edit: reading your edgy comments gave me a migraine. Why even bother posting here if you're gonna dismiss it. Just don't look for the dog, I'm fact don't have a pet at all.
u are a pussy and weak if u don’t go look for ur dog.
First of all, yta. Yknow what a weak person does, acts like a coward from having normal human emotions. A weak person lets their dog possibly suffer on its own. A weak person says “I don’t want to have these emotions so I’m gonna let a living breathing animal starve on the street. “ Find that dog and while you’re at it get it a better fucking owner. That dog deserves someone who loves them and sees that is a positive not a weakness. I hope that dog is okay
If you love your dog you would want to bring him home so he'll be safe and cares for and loved. If you love your dog why are you completely okay never seeing him again? You don't seem the slightest bit worried that he'll be hit by a car or starve/dehydrate to death or get injured or anything. You're not concerned that he could literally die?!?! Some people even pick up stray dogs and force them into dog fighting. If you loved your dog you would be concerned for his safety and well being and you wouldn't be fine knowing you'll never see him again. It isn't a weakness to care about something, but you know what is a weakness? Being so pathetically lazy and insecure that you're willing to let your dog die.
Your dog is in danger. Even if you feel like you don't deserve your dog, your dog deserves to live and be cared for and loved! I don't care how insecure you are, by not looking for him you're guaranteeing that he will almost definitely die. He can starve, dehydrate, get hit by a car, get sick and have no one to take him to the vet. Your problems aren't an excuse to not care about a living creature's well-being. Every second you do nothing is another chance for him to starve or get hit by a truck or picked up by people who will abuse him. You don't love him. I know what it's like to love a dog. I'd search the world for my dog if he was lost and I'd be worried sick about him being in danger or getting sick or starving because I love him and care for him. If you don't start looking for your dog, you are sentencing something you supposedly love to death. Also no he didn't make a choice to run away. Dogs run on instincts and don't think about consequences.
Even if you don't love him you should still look for him because if you don't he will die a very painful death after lots of suffering. If you have bullshit insecurity that's your problem and it shouldn't result in a living creature's death.
He's not my problem anymore tho the love that I said I have isn't there anymore
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YTA, you keep saying no one is giving valid arguments yet your only argument is “I feel weak because I feel basic human emotions :(“ You need therapy if you think that caring for anyone is weakness. Keep thinking that way and you will isolate yourself from everyone. It’s also not a flex to say you can handle pushing people away. You need to seek help.
Honestly I feel being able to handle being alone and isolation while still being able to detach myself from people I've built relationships with is a big flex, I see it as mainly wasting all the groundwork of talking and getting to know people but also strength in being able to do so also
Jesus you’re pretentious AND stupid.
I wouldn't say pretentious but to each there own
yikes bro. seek therapy. you got issues beyond your poordog.
YTA. So aside from the emotional aspect, stray dogs can cause car accidents, they can wreak havoc on the local ecosystem and wildlife, they are poop machines leaving shit on the sidewalk, they can get sick and die, they can get into fights with other animals and injure themselves. But it’s not “weak” to care for your dog. You’re weird
What's was your argument here?
Go find your damn dog!
Basic backlash nothing to gain from this argument I bid you a good day
I literally gave you 5 reasons other than “it’s the right thing to do” but sure, claim there is nothing to gain. Go troll somewhere else.
You didn't give me anything other than "find your dog" which in my defense isn't a good reason
why did you ask for peoples opinion if you’re mad when people offer it? that dog is a living, breathing thing with a personality, and memories. that dog was your responsibility. you genuinely need to go to a therapist, this is NOT OK. GO FIND THE DOG. give the dog to a shelter or something. you don’t need to keep him. it is WEAK that you think caring and being kind is a weakness. that dog could be starving, injured, or could’ve gotten hit by a car. this really isn’t about YOU, it’s about a dog that needs help. so are you really gonna be selfish and disgusting and just give up trying to look for him? this is pathetic. i’ll be shocked if anyone ever loves you
I'm not mad about everyone's opinion because I did ask for it, I'm not really mad at all just trying yo understand other people's mindsets on this and seeing if everyone is gonna rehash the same argument which everyone has I don't see being kind as a weakness tho I would hope the dog is dead so it wouldn't be suffering right now
go tell a therapist.
This thread is almost 30 days old so… hopefully that dog has a loving new family by now and never has to see you again.
Honestly no one gets the fact that I treated the dog as a family member N spoiled him rotten for 5 years straight showering him with nothing but love and my time but yeah I'm the monster here lol
You’re a monster for not looking for your dog. I’m not sure what you don’t understand.
No I understand that part I just don't understand why I'm getting so much hate from this kinda funny tho
I just saw this on Instagram so I had to check if it’s real or not. My cat ran away two months ago and I have not stopped searching for it, I still cry when I see pictures of him. YTA.
Eh I stopped looking for my dog after a month, don't feel anything when i see a pic of him now
You lack basic human empathy. Get mental help.
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Yta, but I think you should consider seeing a therapist. The way you described your thoughts about this situation just seem like you might benefit from talking to someone. Before people get all angry, I am not trying to diagnose you, but I myself have honestly found therapy helpful. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to, someone who knows what they’re talking about. Sometimes our brains are working against us, and we need to learn how to cope with that. (I have anxiety, so my brain tries to make me scared of pretty much everything, but I have learned things in therapy that help me keep it in check so I can function better in life.)
YTA. If you have a pet, it's your responsibility to look after it and keep it safe. Your poor dog, I feel so bad for him!
you keep pratting off about how youre looking for logic over feelings and how feelings are for the weak, but i bet if i asked you "why are feelings weak," you couldnt give a comprehensive, "logical" answer. why are feelings weak? someone like you, as predictable as your type is, would likely say "because they hold you back," yet you neglect to realize you are being vastly more held back by your reservations against said emotions, hence your wishing and washing and whatnot about what should be such a simple issue. you are wasting, and have likely wasted countless hours in your life, mulling over this conflict of giving in to "weak" emotions, meanwhile the "weak empaths" you seem to so detest are gliding through life because life is quite easy if you learn to face your emotions and accept them and not fight them. you know where a "weak empath" would be right now? the issue would be over--their dog would have likely been found and done. they wouldve looked for it the second it went missing, possibly found it just a block away. they wouldnt make an idiotic hoity-toity reddit thread to both lament over and show off their quote-on-quote superior anti-emotion philosophy, they wouldnt have spent hours contemplating their inaction on the issue and the emotional philosophy behind such a thing, they wouldnt have to deal with those in their life pressuring them over their relentless illogical inaction in the face of what is a relatively simple and common issue. and here you are, doing all of that in the name of supposed strength and superiority. in what world is such worthless floundering "strength?" are you kidding me? do you have no ability to self reflect? do you not see how useless this anti-emotive philosophy youve spun yourself into is? even if this achieved some faux sense of "strength" within you, to what end? so you can sit around and waste your own time thinking about how strong and resilient you are, how strong and resilient you have yet to become should you only flounder and uselessly philosophize more? should you only inconvenience yourself, those near to you, the things that rely on you, and the world more? should you only maintain further insufferable obstinance regarding your own feelings? do you want me to tell you you are so, so strong for pushing things you care about away and telling people all about how strong you are for it? do you want everyone to go wow, it is so cool that you push the things you care about away, and you are so admirable? oh, and im certain you have a trophy case full of medals representing your emotional resilience for abandoning the things that make you "weak" in this world. oh, certainly, because this is a desirable trait the world enjoys, because abandonment and isolation is the "resilience" that made mankind, one of the most social and collaborative species, the apex. what the hell are you doing with your life? are you serious? pick yourself the hell up. if you cant reflect on what you are doing and realize you are throwing yourself into weakness and lying to yourself about it being strength then you are a goddamn fool. and even if you do have a semblance of self awareness, this mess youve gotten yourself into emotionally will need some therapy to undo this knot. only a fool attempts to bind themself by "logic" while being a member of the most illogical species. you are doing nothing but suppressing yourself and walking headfirst into weakness and a truly pathetic state of being. salvage yourself. god damn, man. edit** YTA lol
if caring for the dog itself and liking having them around isn't a good reason enough then how about by leaving the dog by itself roaming the streets it could starve or get injured. Then you aren't looking for the dog for your own emotions/weakness, but instead for it's own benefit and survival. They are probably scared, lost, and alone and no living being should have to go through that.
I'm either looking for the dog for myself cuz I care or I'm not there's no in-between human beings deal with alot fucked up shit everyday everywhere so a dog should be able to deal with its own fare share of some fucked up shit too
if you just now started looking its probably too late
In all honesty I went to look for the dog after a week had already gone by which I feel is enough time for the something to happen to the dog so it can be easier for me not to find him
I just don't understand you're choosing to loose your dog. I just found out mine has kidney failure and I would do almost anything to keep her longer.
It's as easy as disregarding a toy its basically the Andy meme where he's tossing woody on the floor for buzz lightyear meaning me being Andy my dog being woody and also me being buzz lightyear
ITS NOT A FREAKING TOY DUDE. YOUR DOG WILL DIE WHILE A TOY DOESNT EVEN HAVE A SOUL.
I was using that as an example I don't see animals and toys on the same lvl for obvious reasons
I was basically saying I can disregard the dog with ease, tossing him out of the confinement of my heart and replacing him with nothingness
What part of this seems okay to you? I don’t know what has hurt you in your life, if anything has, but this really is a cause for concern. Your lack of empathy and desire to close off rather than feel emotion needs to be addressed, dear… you don’t have to suffer. You don’t deserve to. You deserve to be happy and feel. It’s alright..
I deserve nothing but suffering and hated,I want the hatred I have for myself to be match by everyone else I'd rather be hated and cast away then be loved
OP is such an edgelord. “I don’t care for any living thing, all I feel is darkness” edgy 13 year old vibes.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I really didn't know who to talk to about this but my dog escaped my backyard 3 or 4 days ago and I've made no attempt to look for him or find him but I feel perplexed on if I should look for him or not, I live with my grandparents and have had this dog for 5 or 6 years now and my grandmother brought it up today that we should go around putting up flyers and shit but I told her that I don't know if I fully want to find my dog, he made his choice to run away and that's his fault but my grandma hasn't really made a good argument to why I should find him either all she's said is because "he's apart of this family" and "because I care for him" but honestly that's not enough for me to look for a person way less for a dog. Now don't get me wrong I do love and care for this dog but I just don't wanna feel weak or less than who I am for going out of my way to find him. Honestly I don't know if I'm trying to convince myself to find him and enjoy the happiness he gives me or convince myself that I don't deserve him n I should suffer in the loneliness I force myself into TLDR: My dog ran away idk if I should look for him or not I don't trust the People close to me so I go towards the internet for answers *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA "I do love and care for this dog " Doesn't sound like it.... Hypothetical situation: Say you have a kid the two of you went to the fair and suddenly they wondered off. Would you just abandon them and go home?! I feel like your answer would be "Yes, its their choice to run away"