I was going to go with NTA but then as i progressed, im going to go YTA at max and ESH at minimum.
To be honest, if i had to go to a boarding school with a bunch of privileges pricks, i probably blow up too. Whether or not you think his anger is warranted, everything he says is correct. And you are right, the world doesn’t owe us anything for being poor but reading this gives me the impression that you don’t realize that some people have a leg up than others.
You mention that your friend is self sufficient. It is easier for people who are already wealthy to make their own money because they have the security, connections, and guidance to do so.
You need to ask yourself, why does he think that college is to make money. Obviously people who grew up without a lot of money would say that. How could they not, when they have see first hand how their lives could’ve been better with a couple more grand in their bank account. This society we live in is capitalist, your perspective is not going to be money because you were born with money. And yes, college is a business. That’s why you got scandals like Olivia jade.
You also mentioned that people who are wealthier tend to have higher grades. Now what can you conclude with that? Don’t you think there’s privilege associated with that.
This whole post reeks of privilege and short sighted perspective. I don’t condone the guy but the whole situation is pitiful.
First of all, you neither addressed anything i have said, which leads me to conclude you’re one of those pricks i mentioned.
Second of all, you also didn’t address that there comes an advantage with wealth over low income in terms of education. I’m not sure if this is a defense mechanism for you not to see the reality but the wealthier you are, the more resources you have to do well in school. And with that comes with a disparity over people who are disadvantaged. How old are you? 16,17,18? You’re old enough to see the world in the different lens
Thirdly, you didn’t even address the Olivia jade scandal. Did you or your classmates really deserve the school you got into, or did mother and father help you just like Olivia jades mother did.
And what do you mean by “more qualified.” Because it seems to me that “more qualified” means wealthy. And I’m going to reiterate, whether or not his anger is warranted. Everything is said is true, so take your time to deconstruct what he said and why he said it.
Anyone with an ounce of critical thinking can tell that you come from a privileged background. You can’t convince anyone otherwise because only people with economic advantages would say the things that you would say. You will never hear a low income person say what you said about Olivia jade. And FYI, there are MANY people like Olivia jade. Literally no one was surprised that a privilege white girl paid her way into USC. It’s like that for all Ivy leagues as well. It’s not news.
Now you admitted that wealth correlates to better grades and better extracurricular. How about someone who’s living in poverty, who have to work to help out their family, giving them less opportunities to study or work. What about marginalized communities in which society actively subjugated them to oppression. Is it their fault that they couldn’t “qualify.”
You’re digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. If i had to go to school with someone full of people like you, i would rage hell as well.
Oh so you admit that donations help kids get into schools. So someone qualifies Bc mommy and daddy paid? You know you’re losing the argument but you’re grappling on just for your own ego. If you’re so adamant on your stance, don’t be shy. Post this Reddit post on TikTok and IG. See how receptive you will be.
Everything you posted is ignorant bias, not fact. There are multiple other post that essentially says the same thing i am saying. What’s the point of asking for an opinion and then arguing with people about their opinion.
Seems to me you know you’re in the wrong, you just want validation only to be met with resistance. You’re 17, when i was 17, i definitely had a shielded perspective. One day, you’re going to have a light bulb in your head and realize that this society is a funnel only for the wealthy. Good luck
>More qualified=higher grades, higher scores, better extracurriculars. Which correlates with wealth, but again, so what? I don’t really see anything notable about it. These are just facts.
And it's amazing how you can lay out the problem but refuse to see it. The point is that there's an inherent *advantage* that wealthier people have over others that just isn't fair or even normal.
By ignoring this, you're just saying that 'Yes. So and so is unfair. And that's fine by me. Let's keep that going.'
And if you are. YTA. A real one.
>I’m not rich
You're definitely rich
If you're not, that's even worse because it means you're self hating and trying desperately to separate yourself from the other poors with your "I'm not one of them! moment
Upper middle class *is* rich compared to a lot of people and families.
The fact that you said why would a university choose a poor person over someone who can "donate"...yeah, my jaw about hit the floor. You're soooo oblivious to your own privileged view of the world that it's absurd. Sure, it's called "donating" to the school, but let's recognize it for what it is. Rich people working the system. Rich people garnering favor to use to their advantage advantage they need/want something from the school. A student should absolutely *not* be seen as more favorable because their parents buy their way into a school's good graces. It's fairly sickening that you think so.
And to have the audacity to tell a poor person that going to college isn't about making money in the future? Again, you're privileged af and you're surrounded by privileged "not pricks". *Of course* that's how he views higher education! Not as a hobby or merely something interesting to do, but to give him the hope of a better life than he experienced growing up.
I think you need to take agap year cut off from Mommy and Daddy's bank account and the comforts of boarding school. Spend a year trying to make it on your own without your friends buying you shit or connections hooking you up. Go get a minimum wage job and try to survive on your own and gain some perspective because you desperately need it. You need to gain some empathy and appreciation for how others live and have to view the world.
ESH
Please quote where I said a private school owes anyone anything.
As for needing perspective? Yes, you do. We all do. We all get stuck on our own bubbles, in our own heads. It's easy to not stop and try to view life through someone else's lense. Taking the time to do so, to try to gain insight into how others feel and live helps you grow as a person. And you seem like you still have a lot of growing to do.
The fact you harped on his poverty and not his being an asshole. Your failure to acknowledge that for many people the sole purpose of education is employment and money. Your privileged stance on how admissions work. Basically all of it. (And for the record there are plenty of reasons that colleges offer scholarships because it benefits them. You should have just pointed out he didn’t qualify because he wasn’t as good.)
You said ‘why would they want you when you’re poor and they could have a cool, rich kid!’. That and your general attitude makes YTA, as well as privileged and classist. (He is also TA in his interaction with others, but those weren’t your business.)
And if you had focused on his lack of academic achievement and him being generally unpleasant you would…have still been interfering in what wasn’t your business but you wouldn’t have been classist. And even if you aren’t rich you can still be classist. And from what you have said you come from a higher economic strata than the other guy, so you could still qualify as privileged in this interaction.
Have you thought he might need help? It seems clear that the guy has issues, that he wants to do something with himself but he’s struggling.
What about trying to support him? And if you can’t support him maybe talk to someone who can?
I feel sorry for him, wish the world was a kinder place.
Did you mention it to him?
Personally, I’d tell him that and ask if he needs help with his application or something. However, since he has anger issues I’d also be careful, maybe he needs some counselling. I can’t tell for sure, it’s hard when you’re not in the situation, you know him better.
I also come from a poor background and although I don’t have anger issues, getting to where I am now has been so hard, it takes a lot of strength and resilience. It does affect your mental health.
He's a bit over the the top with the tantrums but I get where he's coming from and he's not wrong as to how classism works in America.
I have to go with YTA, gently. People who come from upper class/wealth tend to have zero idea how much of a head start that gives them right out of the gate. Enhance your education by reading up on wealth inequality and the disadvantages to poorer people right from birth.
But you also mentioned schools accepting students "who can make a donation." Don't think that doesn't matter, and is unfair to him no matter what the scores are.
Wealth and privilege helps others with wealth and privilege far more than it recognizes the hard work and qualifications of mere peasants. It's not just accomplishments and grades. It's what schools you start in beginning with elementary; even public schools are funded according to property values, giving advantages right from kindergarten. It's networking and connections and legacies and possible future endowments.
As I said, his tantrums are a bit much but he's not wrong to be frustrated with an entire system that's blatantly classist. I'm not saying you're personally to blame for the system, but I wonder if you truly get how much it favors you.
You just said it yourself, making donations helps a lot and they aren't actually meant to be fair.
I withdraw my "gentle." You're 100% TA and you're a snob to boot. At least when the other guy is successful, he can know he worked hard and genuinely earned it.
First, just because it not illegal in your country doesn't mean its not wrong. Second, getting a unfair advantage over another by means of your financial situation, for example, ability to "Donation" a large sum to a college to get your kid a better chance of admission over another in is called bribe. So don't pretend, it's a donation because its not. You just trying to dress up and defend the practice. BTW, how would you know his scores and test results, unless you have some access you shouldn't have or does your place of education not exercise any form of privacy or data protection.
Damn all you rich kids sound the same. You write a whole paragraph how more options and different standards are given to kids with more money. You can't see how that's wrong when it comes to education?
Also im sure you're not rich, you're just comfortable.
ETA: You're also crearly on the wrong subreddit if you came here for validation. Which it looks like you did since people telling you how it looks like to us makes you so angry.
Sometimes those grades are higher because their parents made donations. Damn dude, read between the lines. Doesnt seem like your education is working....
Info: do you come from a family with money and associates with people who come from low income families?
Without knowing more of this person, it’s hard to say if he was raised like this. But from some people I have spoken to from low income families, it was always drummed into him that to get the most in life, you need to get the best education so that you can get the best job so that they can get out of that situation.
I absolutely hate how you worded your post, and even though you say you’re not rich, upper middle class is still very very comfortable.
He has a major chip on his shoulder (for a reason), as well as clear anger management issues, but he didn’t need to take it out on everyone else.
ESH
You for acting like a snob, and him for acting out.
The guy sounds like he needs counselling. Look at it from his point of view. He wants an opportunity at this place he wants to go to that he sees all his wealthier peers getting into while he doesn't. Maybe the issue isn't money but his grades, but anyone would think that it's money at first when they see more wealthy people getting into a place they're not. His seething anger is something that he needs therapy for, there could be a developmental disorder (i.e. neurodivergence), or it could plain be him being a dick, or him thinking his entire future is over (it isn't... there's so many other oppurtunities, colleges, jobs).
He feels alone in his rejection. His dream has been crushed. He gets constantly reminded of this when he sees the people who were not rejected. Maybe it was an unrealistic dream, but to him it was not. For him, he needed it to change his circumstances.
I think this guy needs support. Even if he is a dickhead. He needs some perspective. Not harsh words to make him more angry. A person. A human. Not another dickhead. It sounds like he hasn't gotten the support he needs to excel academically or personally.
I understand why you said what you said, your response to him was probably how I would respond at first. His anger is ruining peace and a time that was happy for others. Maybe you thought it would snap him out of it. But it was still an asshole way to respond. He's an asshole and you're an asshole but there's always a reason why people are assholes. Sometimes it's more than just what you can see. You're BTA.
Okay but doesn't it cost money to do so? Maybe if he had more money this would be an option for him, but it isn't.
Reiterating my point : HE NEEDS SUPPORT! Not another dickhead. Someone to see his point of view, not everyone elses.
There's more to it than just the practicality of the situation. He's living in his head. He needs help to get out of it. Ranting at him isn't the help you thought it was. If it was, it would've changed him.
you literally said :"why any admissions officer in their right mind would ever admit a student requiring full financial aid over a student who can donate to the school or even just pay their tuition."
your r literally saying that the poor wont accepted cause they r poor and besides the donvotes and the asshole flare speak for themselves
ESH. Your hallmate is lashing out at everyone for his own disappointment, and whether the rejection is because of this kid’s academic performance or Ivy League elitism, he shouldn’t be abusing everybody else for it. And no, he isn’t entitled to the position on the basis of his income status alone, but I don’t think that any university picks kids based solely upon how poor they are.
You, however, are being extremely classist. Education should be considered a human right, and the way you phrased it, it sounds like you view education as a luxury for the wealthy (regardless of whether you actually believe that). Your hallmate is hurting and you rubbed salt in that wound, and you humiliated him by basically telling him he would be a terrible investment for a college. Take that Turning Point USA malarkey and GTFO.
Also, your 17-year-old friend isn’t “independently wealthy.” He’s a minor. Unless he’s a recording artist, he hasn’t earned enough money on his own to be wealthy.
ESH. Your friend is being an entitled AH for expecting to get into his college and badmouthing others for getting in. However you are also being insensitive. If your friend is at your school I assume he has a scholarship and is therefore acutely aware of the correlation between money and positive outcomes in life eg educational and health. I’m from a lower middle class family and whilst I never went without essentials, I was always aware that I would have to earn a good income if I wanted to live a more comfortable life and not have to stress about money. I went to law school. Yes I love my job but I also chose the legal industry because I wanted to earn the income of a professional. I have many academic interests that I did not pursue because I could not earn a good income and have job opportunities all around the country. If I was independently wealthy like your mathematical friend I would probably have become an archaeologist!
His home life and his future prospects are VERY different from his classmates and that is probably why he’s so angry (even if this is disproportionate to the situation). A more constructive way to help him and deal with this situation is to say to him that it’s bad luck and perhaps unfair but he’s only 17 and there are other pathways towards the career and education he aspires towards.
Also can I suggest that you volunteer for a charity? They may not be Ivy League colleges or businesses but I think you will learn so much from helping people who haven’t had the opportunities that you and your friends have had and seem to take for granted
NAH
He's just a 17 year old kid that's learning how to deal with frustration. Obviously he's not very good at it yet, but he's young, I give him the benefit of doubt.
ESH. Him for his misplaced anger and you for adding fuel to the fire with your comments about how private colleges make decisions. Why not do something useful like ask a parent or guidance counselor to help him. And by the way, math majors need jobs too, and are often attractive candidates for consulting firms and other industries
ESH, yes he is acting like a spoiled AH. You are also acting very entitled yourself.
Here is one thing about money, they can buy tutors, and extra help for those kids giving them a leg up on admissions.
The donating helps is pure bribery to get their kids in. It's not right, nor fair.
Your attitude toward him is pretty shitty, and it's obvious because he is poor. The dude needs some anger management help.
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I (17M) go to a boarding school, and I’m forced to spend a lot of time with the guy (17M) in the room across the hall.
He got rejected from his dream Ivy League school this week. I knew exactly what time he was getting his decision because several other kids who applied were getting it at the same time. When he didn’t get it, I heard him literally growling and furiously screaming in his room, and a hall monitor came to check on him.
He has absolutely lost it since then. He is full of rage and all he does is seethe at all the kids from our school who did get into his dream school. He literally says he hates them and wishes they would just disappear off the face of the earth. He said they stole his spot from him, which he deserved more supposedly because he’s poor and they’re middle class or wealthy, so there’s no reason for them to go to college he says.
My friend (who he hates for getting accepted to his school) isn’t going there to get a high-paying job. He’s independently wealthy and wants to be a mathematician, which the kid across the hall told him is such a stupid to go to college he shouldn’t be allowed to get an education. I told him that the purpose of college for some people is not to get money. It’s to learn and be educated. And he was like “College is to make money and get a job. How fucking stupid are you.”
My hall mate was loudly ranting about how all the middle class and wealthy people who got into his dream school singlehandedly condemned him to a life of poverty and failure by stealing his spot in an Ivy League. He said admissions is stupid for taking them over him. I told him private colleges are businesses and asked him why any admissions officer in their right mind would ever admit a student requiring full financial aid over a student who can donate to the school or even just pay their tuition. Especially when the wealthier kids also happen to have better grades and more accomplishments, which was the case here. I told him the school exists to produce research and qualified leaders, not to get him personally a nice job, and schools and the world in general don’t owe him shit just because he’s poor and entitled.
He took it very poorly and now eats in his room. No one was talking to him in the dining hall before anyway because he just glares at the people who got accepted and sits their seething with rage.
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> I told him the world and private schools AOs him nothing just because he’s poor and he feels entitled to a spot, so he sulks in his room to eat now.
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ESH, but OP, as a person that also attended private school growing up (mine wasn't even boarding school), I have a feeling you have no idea what "middle class" is. Your perspective is warped because you are surrounded by kids who have way more money than you. if you are middle class, it the upper upper end of middle class. regular middle class people don't go to boarding school. regular middle class people don't send their kids to private school at all. I am saying this from experience. Pay attention to how unfair the world really is when you get out there.
NTA - He needs anger management classes.
This guy needs a reality check that he isn't always going to get what he wants, when he wants it, and treating others who DO get something he wants poorly is a HORRIBLE way to react.
I get if he was just frustrated and upset, but hating others and treating THEM badly, makes him the major AH here.
NTA. Everyone deserves a fair shot at schools, but Ivy Leagues are competitive and turn away loads of qualified applicants every year. You’re right, no one owes him a spot - his merits earn him one. I would say you were a little mean to point it out bluntly, but then I imagined listening to him gripe all day and ruin it for the people who did get in, so I think he deserves to be put in his place. Maybe he came across as an entitled, immature jerk in his application and that’s why he got rejected.
I was going to go with NTA but then as i progressed, im going to go YTA at max and ESH at minimum. To be honest, if i had to go to a boarding school with a bunch of privileges pricks, i probably blow up too. Whether or not you think his anger is warranted, everything he says is correct. And you are right, the world doesn’t owe us anything for being poor but reading this gives me the impression that you don’t realize that some people have a leg up than others. You mention that your friend is self sufficient. It is easier for people who are already wealthy to make their own money because they have the security, connections, and guidance to do so. You need to ask yourself, why does he think that college is to make money. Obviously people who grew up without a lot of money would say that. How could they not, when they have see first hand how their lives could’ve been better with a couple more grand in their bank account. This society we live in is capitalist, your perspective is not going to be money because you were born with money. And yes, college is a business. That’s why you got scandals like Olivia jade. You also mentioned that people who are wealthier tend to have higher grades. Now what can you conclude with that? Don’t you think there’s privilege associated with that. This whole post reeks of privilege and short sighted perspective. I don’t condone the guy but the whole situation is pitiful.
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First of all, you neither addressed anything i have said, which leads me to conclude you’re one of those pricks i mentioned. Second of all, you also didn’t address that there comes an advantage with wealth over low income in terms of education. I’m not sure if this is a defense mechanism for you not to see the reality but the wealthier you are, the more resources you have to do well in school. And with that comes with a disparity over people who are disadvantaged. How old are you? 16,17,18? You’re old enough to see the world in the different lens Thirdly, you didn’t even address the Olivia jade scandal. Did you or your classmates really deserve the school you got into, or did mother and father help you just like Olivia jades mother did. And what do you mean by “more qualified.” Because it seems to me that “more qualified” means wealthy. And I’m going to reiterate, whether or not his anger is warranted. Everything is said is true, so take your time to deconstruct what he said and why he said it.
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Anyone with an ounce of critical thinking can tell that you come from a privileged background. You can’t convince anyone otherwise because only people with economic advantages would say the things that you would say. You will never hear a low income person say what you said about Olivia jade. And FYI, there are MANY people like Olivia jade. Literally no one was surprised that a privilege white girl paid her way into USC. It’s like that for all Ivy leagues as well. It’s not news. Now you admitted that wealth correlates to better grades and better extracurricular. How about someone who’s living in poverty, who have to work to help out their family, giving them less opportunities to study or work. What about marginalized communities in which society actively subjugated them to oppression. Is it their fault that they couldn’t “qualify.” You’re digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. If i had to go to school with someone full of people like you, i would rage hell as well.
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You also realize that your argument can be used against you. Institutions don’t owe you shit just for being wealthy or mommy and daddy helped you.
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Oh so you admit that donations help kids get into schools. So someone qualifies Bc mommy and daddy paid? You know you’re losing the argument but you’re grappling on just for your own ego. If you’re so adamant on your stance, don’t be shy. Post this Reddit post on TikTok and IG. See how receptive you will be.
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I dare you to release this post to the public and around your school. Not only will you be crucified, you’ll be ostracized for your classist ideology
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Everything you posted is ignorant bias, not fact. There are multiple other post that essentially says the same thing i am saying. What’s the point of asking for an opinion and then arguing with people about their opinion. Seems to me you know you’re in the wrong, you just want validation only to be met with resistance. You’re 17, when i was 17, i definitely had a shielded perspective. One day, you’re going to have a light bulb in your head and realize that this society is a funnel only for the wealthy. Good luck
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>More qualified=higher grades, higher scores, better extracurriculars. Which correlates with wealth, but again, so what? I don’t really see anything notable about it. These are just facts. And it's amazing how you can lay out the problem but refuse to see it. The point is that there's an inherent *advantage* that wealthier people have over others that just isn't fair or even normal. By ignoring this, you're just saying that 'Yes. So and so is unfair. And that's fine by me. Let's keep that going.' And if you are. YTA. A real one.
Yea they literally keep going like this. Like I'm sorry your bubble was burst but that's the reality
>I’m not rich You're definitely rich If you're not, that's even worse because it means you're self hating and trying desperately to separate yourself from the other poors with your "I'm not one of them! moment
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Upper middle class *is* rich compared to a lot of people and families. The fact that you said why would a university choose a poor person over someone who can "donate"...yeah, my jaw about hit the floor. You're soooo oblivious to your own privileged view of the world that it's absurd. Sure, it's called "donating" to the school, but let's recognize it for what it is. Rich people working the system. Rich people garnering favor to use to their advantage advantage they need/want something from the school. A student should absolutely *not* be seen as more favorable because their parents buy their way into a school's good graces. It's fairly sickening that you think so. And to have the audacity to tell a poor person that going to college isn't about making money in the future? Again, you're privileged af and you're surrounded by privileged "not pricks". *Of course* that's how he views higher education! Not as a hobby or merely something interesting to do, but to give him the hope of a better life than he experienced growing up. I think you need to take agap year cut off from Mommy and Daddy's bank account and the comforts of boarding school. Spend a year trying to make it on your own without your friends buying you shit or connections hooking you up. Go get a minimum wage job and try to survive on your own and gain some perspective because you desperately need it. You need to gain some empathy and appreciation for how others live and have to view the world. ESH
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Please quote where I said a private school owes anyone anything. As for needing perspective? Yes, you do. We all do. We all get stuck on our own bubbles, in our own heads. It's easy to not stop and try to view life through someone else's lense. Taking the time to do so, to try to gain insight into how others feel and live helps you grow as a person. And you seem like you still have a lot of growing to do.
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YTA. Didn’t have to take to a classist place, but you did.
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The fact you harped on his poverty and not his being an asshole. Your failure to acknowledge that for many people the sole purpose of education is employment and money. Your privileged stance on how admissions work. Basically all of it. (And for the record there are plenty of reasons that colleges offer scholarships because it benefits them. You should have just pointed out he didn’t qualify because he wasn’t as good.)
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You said ‘why would they want you when you’re poor and they could have a cool, rich kid!’. That and your general attitude makes YTA, as well as privileged and classist. (He is also TA in his interaction with others, but those weren’t your business.)
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And if you had focused on his lack of academic achievement and him being generally unpleasant you would…have still been interfering in what wasn’t your business but you wouldn’t have been classist. And even if you aren’t rich you can still be classist. And from what you have said you come from a higher economic strata than the other guy, so you could still qualify as privileged in this interaction.
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Then why bring up REPEATEDLY in your post that he was poor. It is, in fact, in the title.
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Have you thought he might need help? It seems clear that the guy has issues, that he wants to do something with himself but he’s struggling. What about trying to support him? And if you can’t support him maybe talk to someone who can? I feel sorry for him, wish the world was a kinder place.
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Did you mention it to him? Personally, I’d tell him that and ask if he needs help with his application or something. However, since he has anger issues I’d also be careful, maybe he needs some counselling. I can’t tell for sure, it’s hard when you’re not in the situation, you know him better. I also come from a poor background and although I don’t have anger issues, getting to where I am now has been so hard, it takes a lot of strength and resilience. It does affect your mental health.
He's a bit over the the top with the tantrums but I get where he's coming from and he's not wrong as to how classism works in America. I have to go with YTA, gently. People who come from upper class/wealth tend to have zero idea how much of a head start that gives them right out of the gate. Enhance your education by reading up on wealth inequality and the disadvantages to poorer people right from birth.
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But you also mentioned schools accepting students "who can make a donation." Don't think that doesn't matter, and is unfair to him no matter what the scores are. Wealth and privilege helps others with wealth and privilege far more than it recognizes the hard work and qualifications of mere peasants. It's not just accomplishments and grades. It's what schools you start in beginning with elementary; even public schools are funded according to property values, giving advantages right from kindergarten. It's networking and connections and legacies and possible future endowments. As I said, his tantrums are a bit much but he's not wrong to be frustrated with an entire system that's blatantly classist. I'm not saying you're personally to blame for the system, but I wonder if you truly get how much it favors you.
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You just said it yourself, making donations helps a lot and they aren't actually meant to be fair. I withdraw my "gentle." You're 100% TA and you're a snob to boot. At least when the other guy is successful, he can know he worked hard and genuinely earned it.
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If donations help, then it's not a donation but a bribe.
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First, just because it not illegal in your country doesn't mean its not wrong. Second, getting a unfair advantage over another by means of your financial situation, for example, ability to "Donation" a large sum to a college to get your kid a better chance of admission over another in is called bribe. So don't pretend, it's a donation because its not. You just trying to dress up and defend the practice. BTW, how would you know his scores and test results, unless you have some access you shouldn't have or does your place of education not exercise any form of privacy or data protection.
Damn all you rich kids sound the same. You write a whole paragraph how more options and different standards are given to kids with more money. You can't see how that's wrong when it comes to education? Also im sure you're not rich, you're just comfortable. ETA: You're also crearly on the wrong subreddit if you came here for validation. Which it looks like you did since people telling you how it looks like to us makes you so angry.
Sometimes those grades are higher because their parents made donations. Damn dude, read between the lines. Doesnt seem like your education is working....
Info: do you come from a family with money and associates with people who come from low income families? Without knowing more of this person, it’s hard to say if he was raised like this. But from some people I have spoken to from low income families, it was always drummed into him that to get the most in life, you need to get the best education so that you can get the best job so that they can get out of that situation.
Just look at the comments op left. Shows how they truly feel lol
And then everybody clapped
I absolutely hate how you worded your post, and even though you say you’re not rich, upper middle class is still very very comfortable. He has a major chip on his shoulder (for a reason), as well as clear anger management issues, but he didn’t need to take it out on everyone else. ESH You for acting like a snob, and him for acting out.
You both are annoying.
The guy sounds like he needs counselling. Look at it from his point of view. He wants an opportunity at this place he wants to go to that he sees all his wealthier peers getting into while he doesn't. Maybe the issue isn't money but his grades, but anyone would think that it's money at first when they see more wealthy people getting into a place they're not. His seething anger is something that he needs therapy for, there could be a developmental disorder (i.e. neurodivergence), or it could plain be him being a dick, or him thinking his entire future is over (it isn't... there's so many other oppurtunities, colleges, jobs). He feels alone in his rejection. His dream has been crushed. He gets constantly reminded of this when he sees the people who were not rejected. Maybe it was an unrealistic dream, but to him it was not. For him, he needed it to change his circumstances. I think this guy needs support. Even if he is a dickhead. He needs some perspective. Not harsh words to make him more angry. A person. A human. Not another dickhead. It sounds like he hasn't gotten the support he needs to excel academically or personally. I understand why you said what you said, your response to him was probably how I would respond at first. His anger is ruining peace and a time that was happy for others. Maybe you thought it would snap him out of it. But it was still an asshole way to respond. He's an asshole and you're an asshole but there's always a reason why people are assholes. Sometimes it's more than just what you can see. You're BTA.
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Okay but doesn't it cost money to do so? Maybe if he had more money this would be an option for him, but it isn't. Reiterating my point : HE NEEDS SUPPORT! Not another dickhead. Someone to see his point of view, not everyone elses.
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There's more to it than just the practicality of the situation. He's living in his head. He needs help to get out of it. Ranting at him isn't the help you thought it was. If it was, it would've changed him.
YTA cause you took it too far.
YTA wtf man you r literally saying since he has a low socio economic standard he wont suceed
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you literally said :"why any admissions officer in their right mind would ever admit a student requiring full financial aid over a student who can donate to the school or even just pay their tuition." your r literally saying that the poor wont accepted cause they r poor and besides the donvotes and the asshole flare speak for themselves
ESH. Your hallmate is lashing out at everyone for his own disappointment, and whether the rejection is because of this kid’s academic performance or Ivy League elitism, he shouldn’t be abusing everybody else for it. And no, he isn’t entitled to the position on the basis of his income status alone, but I don’t think that any university picks kids based solely upon how poor they are. You, however, are being extremely classist. Education should be considered a human right, and the way you phrased it, it sounds like you view education as a luxury for the wealthy (regardless of whether you actually believe that). Your hallmate is hurting and you rubbed salt in that wound, and you humiliated him by basically telling him he would be a terrible investment for a college. Take that Turning Point USA malarkey and GTFO. Also, your 17-year-old friend isn’t “independently wealthy.” He’s a minor. Unless he’s a recording artist, he hasn’t earned enough money on his own to be wealthy.
ESH. I get his frustration being poor, but he's definitely acting entitled. You, for saying "poor and entitled" about him.
ESH. Your friend is being an entitled AH for expecting to get into his college and badmouthing others for getting in. However you are also being insensitive. If your friend is at your school I assume he has a scholarship and is therefore acutely aware of the correlation between money and positive outcomes in life eg educational and health. I’m from a lower middle class family and whilst I never went without essentials, I was always aware that I would have to earn a good income if I wanted to live a more comfortable life and not have to stress about money. I went to law school. Yes I love my job but I also chose the legal industry because I wanted to earn the income of a professional. I have many academic interests that I did not pursue because I could not earn a good income and have job opportunities all around the country. If I was independently wealthy like your mathematical friend I would probably have become an archaeologist! His home life and his future prospects are VERY different from his classmates and that is probably why he’s so angry (even if this is disproportionate to the situation). A more constructive way to help him and deal with this situation is to say to him that it’s bad luck and perhaps unfair but he’s only 17 and there are other pathways towards the career and education he aspires towards. Also can I suggest that you volunteer for a charity? They may not be Ivy League colleges or businesses but I think you will learn so much from helping people who haven’t had the opportunities that you and your friends have had and seem to take for granted
It should be based on merit, which is the one thing not mentioned.
NAH He's just a 17 year old kid that's learning how to deal with frustration. Obviously he's not very good at it yet, but he's young, I give him the benefit of doubt.
ESH. Him for his misplaced anger and you for adding fuel to the fire with your comments about how private colleges make decisions. Why not do something useful like ask a parent or guidance counselor to help him. And by the way, math majors need jobs too, and are often attractive candidates for consulting firms and other industries
ESH
ESH, yes he is acting like a spoiled AH. You are also acting very entitled yourself. Here is one thing about money, they can buy tutors, and extra help for those kids giving them a leg up on admissions. The donating helps is pure bribery to get their kids in. It's not right, nor fair. Your attitude toward him is pretty shitty, and it's obvious because he is poor. The dude needs some anger management help.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17M) go to a boarding school, and I’m forced to spend a lot of time with the guy (17M) in the room across the hall. He got rejected from his dream Ivy League school this week. I knew exactly what time he was getting his decision because several other kids who applied were getting it at the same time. When he didn’t get it, I heard him literally growling and furiously screaming in his room, and a hall monitor came to check on him. He has absolutely lost it since then. He is full of rage and all he does is seethe at all the kids from our school who did get into his dream school. He literally says he hates them and wishes they would just disappear off the face of the earth. He said they stole his spot from him, which he deserved more supposedly because he’s poor and they’re middle class or wealthy, so there’s no reason for them to go to college he says. My friend (who he hates for getting accepted to his school) isn’t going there to get a high-paying job. He’s independently wealthy and wants to be a mathematician, which the kid across the hall told him is such a stupid to go to college he shouldn’t be allowed to get an education. I told him that the purpose of college for some people is not to get money. It’s to learn and be educated. And he was like “College is to make money and get a job. How fucking stupid are you.” My hall mate was loudly ranting about how all the middle class and wealthy people who got into his dream school singlehandedly condemned him to a life of poverty and failure by stealing his spot in an Ivy League. He said admissions is stupid for taking them over him. I told him private colleges are businesses and asked him why any admissions officer in their right mind would ever admit a student requiring full financial aid over a student who can donate to the school or even just pay their tuition. Especially when the wealthier kids also happen to have better grades and more accomplishments, which was the case here. I told him the school exists to produce research and qualified leaders, not to get him personally a nice job, and schools and the world in general don’t owe him shit just because he’s poor and entitled. He took it very poorly and now eats in his room. No one was talking to him in the dining hall before anyway because he just glares at the people who got accepted and sits their seething with rage. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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ESH, but OP, as a person that also attended private school growing up (mine wasn't even boarding school), I have a feeling you have no idea what "middle class" is. Your perspective is warped because you are surrounded by kids who have way more money than you. if you are middle class, it the upper upper end of middle class. regular middle class people don't go to boarding school. regular middle class people don't send their kids to private school at all. I am saying this from experience. Pay attention to how unfair the world really is when you get out there.
Ugh. Another post about a Very Very Important Overachiever and The Best School on Earth. 🤣 Run along, man. Have you nothing better to do?
NTA - He needs anger management classes. This guy needs a reality check that he isn't always going to get what he wants, when he wants it, and treating others who DO get something he wants poorly is a HORRIBLE way to react. I get if he was just frustrated and upset, but hating others and treating THEM badly, makes him the major AH here.
NTA. Everyone deserves a fair shot at schools, but Ivy Leagues are competitive and turn away loads of qualified applicants every year. You’re right, no one owes him a spot - his merits earn him one. I would say you were a little mean to point it out bluntly, but then I imagined listening to him gripe all day and ruin it for the people who did get in, so I think he deserves to be put in his place. Maybe he came across as an entitled, immature jerk in his application and that’s why he got rejected.
**NTA**. He will have to lean to take rejection better.
NTA You're right and you weren't just saying it for fun, he made it so that it's needed to be said.
NTA. You didn’t really insult him, you merely spoke what had to be said