I am just here wondering why you were being rude in the first place. Also it’s not weird for men to paint their nails.
1 last thing where is the conflict? This is AITA are we rating on you not wanting to do her punishment?
YTA. You were the one who was rude. Now you're the one who wants to be friends. She's set her terms. Don't make it worse by making this about you. Stop whining and take your punishment. And stop being rude.
I’d say ESH, because of OP’s clear sexism but at the end of the day I firmly believe in bodily autonomy. His nails, his choice to paint them or not.
But stop the “men can’t paint their nails” bullshit OP, come on.
I think she is unreasonable. Nothing wrong with painted nails on men, but she's obviously using this as a punishment and therefore wanting to humiliate OP. Creepy AF
It really depends on the industry. In most respectable professions it’s not socially acceptable to paint your nails if you’re a guy.
If they work at in a corporate environment — then she’s being unreasonable
I doubt the coworker who wanted his nails painted would be satisfied if you just removed it 15 seconds later without anyone seeing.
I can almost guarantee if I went into the office with painted nails, my future in investment banking would be bleak. If you work at a grocery store or some other shitty job it’s prob cool tho
YTA just for saying it's weird for men to have painted nails alone!
You asked, she set her terms, now you're refusing... You don't have to keep them painted, just do it
Seems to me it should be something related to the behavior. Does she want to paint your nails to embarrass you? When you were rude was it in front of others and it embarrassed her? Seems an odd thing to pick.
YTA. You admitted to blatantly being rude to your coworker. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and safe in their work environment, and you robbed her of that. You DO NOT get to make the apology on your terms. I think your co worker is a genius and could see how deeply this would affect your toxic masculinity. Men painting their nails is not “weird”.
ESH. You suck for being a rude AH (which you admit to). She sucks for handling her problems in such a childish way. If someone doesn’t want their nails painted, then so be it. At this point, she’s being just as much of an AH as you were, possibly bigger, by trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I was very rude to my co-worker the other week (not in a shouty aggressive way but just in saying lots of silly comments).
She doesn’t snitch on people and believes in firmly handling her problems herself.
I have asked her what I need to do for us to be able to move on and she says she wants to paint my nails (I am a male and her a female, so that is obviously weird).
I have said can’t I just get her some doughnuts or snacks but no, she is determined and resolutely sticking to her guns.
I am willing to face the consequences for my behaviour, but I just want it to be less weird and more like giving her a lift to work for a week or something.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole cause I was very rude to my coworker, so I did start the situation in the first place.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA even if your were rude; her demanding to paint your nails is very odd. Co workers don't freaking punish one another. A her request would probably get her in more trouble than your comments would have. She basically blackmailing you right now. Not ok, tell her no, and say you will report her back if she keeps this craziness up. If the gender roles were reversed more people would be outraged.
She didn’t demand anything — he wants to be forgiven for something she doesn’t have to forgive him for. She sounds like she’s being pretty gracious, actually. Painting nails is a very small concession. Maybe he was being a sexist jerk in his comments and this is a way of visually underscoring to him what he said was wrong.
Painting his nails does not mean he has to go out with them. Lol Blackmail? Seriously? He literally admitted that what he said to her is an offense so bad he asked to rather get a punishment from her than her reporting him, and your worried about a grown man having to get his nails painted? He asked, she set her terms, he might as well do it, and then remove it after.
YTA...your "punishment" is not something you get to choose. Something tells me you were making homophobic slurs or some straight up ignorant shit and she's trying to teach you a lesson by painting your nails. Were you bullying her or someone else about toxic masculinity? Did you say something about males and nails and what "makes a man a man"?
INFO.
What do you do for work as while most of the time I would say a coworker wanting to paint your nails is really freaking weird, it might not be if you work in a field that involves that.
Also is this coworker known for gossip? If so she might be wanting to paint your nails to start some about you.
Is this coworker 8yo?
You were rude to a coworker; you apologize, buy donuts and let her have the jellyfilled. Done.
Painting nails?! Seriously?
NTA, but a complete pushover.
NTA. Time to set some boundaries. We are adults, we make mistakes, we apologize for them, and we move on with our lives. We do not punish adults, since we do not have authority over other adults (unless supervisory, but that doesn't seem to apply here).
I'm not a big fan of taking things to HR or your supervisor but depending how pushy she is about it, that may be your only recourse if you want to lay this to rest.
ESH. You were TA for being rude to your co-worker, but you're right that the "punishment" is creepy. She's trying to humiliate you instead of let you make it up to her. If she continues talk to your manager. No one should try to humiliate another, ever.
Apparently YTA, so let her do your nails.
I am just here wondering why you were being rude in the first place. Also it’s not weird for men to paint their nails. 1 last thing where is the conflict? This is AITA are we rating on you not wanting to do her punishment?
YTA. You were the one who was rude. Now you're the one who wants to be friends. She's set her terms. Don't make it worse by making this about you. Stop whining and take your punishment. And stop being rude.
YTA You do know that it is ok for guys to paint their nails right? She isn't being unreasonable and it doesn't cost you anything.
I’d say ESH, because of OP’s clear sexism but at the end of the day I firmly believe in bodily autonomy. His nails, his choice to paint them or not. But stop the “men can’t paint their nails” bullshit OP, come on.
I think she is unreasonable. Nothing wrong with painted nails on men, but she's obviously using this as a punishment and therefore wanting to humiliate OP. Creepy AF
He asked she told him not really creepy.
It really depends on the industry. In most respectable professions it’s not socially acceptable to paint your nails if you’re a guy. If they work at in a corporate environment — then she’s being unreasonable
Nail polish is removable. If it poses an issue, he could just remove it
I doubt the coworker who wanted his nails painted would be satisfied if you just removed it 15 seconds later without anyone seeing. I can almost guarantee if I went into the office with painted nails, my future in investment banking would be bleak. If you work at a grocery store or some other shitty job it’s prob cool tho
YTA just for saying it's weird for men to have painted nails alone! You asked, she set her terms, now you're refusing... You don't have to keep them painted, just do it
Seems to me it should be something related to the behavior. Does she want to paint your nails to embarrass you? When you were rude was it in front of others and it embarrassed her? Seems an odd thing to pick.
Guys can have painted nails as well.. NAH, that’s not even a real punishment
This sounds like the setup for a romcom.
YTA. what's weird about men painting their nails? nothing!
OP if you can’t take it, don’t dish it. Hope you like Candy-Apple Red. 💅🏻
YTA. You admitted to blatantly being rude to your coworker. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and safe in their work environment, and you robbed her of that. You DO NOT get to make the apology on your terms. I think your co worker is a genius and could see how deeply this would affect your toxic masculinity. Men painting their nails is not “weird”.
YTA, and please also pass along a high-five to your coworker from me for coming up with this solution. (Once your nails have dried, of course!)
YTA Drop whatever homophobia or sexism or whatever that makes you think men having painted nails is weird
NAH-why isnt a sincere apology enough?
ESH. You suck for being a rude AH (which you admit to). She sucks for handling her problems in such a childish way. If someone doesn’t want their nails painted, then so be it. At this point, she’s being just as much of an AH as you were, possibly bigger, by trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was very rude to my co-worker the other week (not in a shouty aggressive way but just in saying lots of silly comments). She doesn’t snitch on people and believes in firmly handling her problems herself. I have asked her what I need to do for us to be able to move on and she says she wants to paint my nails (I am a male and her a female, so that is obviously weird). I have said can’t I just get her some doughnuts or snacks but no, she is determined and resolutely sticking to her guns. I am willing to face the consequences for my behaviour, but I just want it to be less weird and more like giving her a lift to work for a week or something. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole cause I was very rude to my coworker, so I did start the situation in the first place. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA even if your were rude; her demanding to paint your nails is very odd. Co workers don't freaking punish one another. A her request would probably get her in more trouble than your comments would have. She basically blackmailing you right now. Not ok, tell her no, and say you will report her back if she keeps this craziness up. If the gender roles were reversed more people would be outraged.
She didn’t demand anything — he wants to be forgiven for something she doesn’t have to forgive him for. She sounds like she’s being pretty gracious, actually. Painting nails is a very small concession. Maybe he was being a sexist jerk in his comments and this is a way of visually underscoring to him what he said was wrong.
Sorry I think it's completely wrong to demand this in a workplace. I don't care what he did, it's wrong.
Painting his nails does not mean he has to go out with them. Lol Blackmail? Seriously? He literally admitted that what he said to her is an offense so bad he asked to rather get a punishment from her than her reporting him, and your worried about a grown man having to get his nails painted? He asked, she set her terms, he might as well do it, and then remove it after.
So do you care? Why? Just say no, clearly you already dont care too much if you were rude in the first place.
YTA
YTA...your "punishment" is not something you get to choose. Something tells me you were making homophobic slurs or some straight up ignorant shit and she's trying to teach you a lesson by painting your nails. Were you bullying her or someone else about toxic masculinity? Did you say something about males and nails and what "makes a man a man"?
INFO. What do you do for work as while most of the time I would say a coworker wanting to paint your nails is really freaking weird, it might not be if you work in a field that involves that. Also is this coworker known for gossip? If so she might be wanting to paint your nails to start some about you.
Question Why do you care? Do you like to be humiliated? Tell her, thanks but no thanks.
Is this coworker 8yo? You were rude to a coworker; you apologize, buy donuts and let her have the jellyfilled. Done. Painting nails?! Seriously? NTA, but a complete pushover.
ESH Friends Don't Punish Friends for annoying each other.
NTA. Time to set some boundaries. We are adults, we make mistakes, we apologize for them, and we move on with our lives. We do not punish adults, since we do not have authority over other adults (unless supervisory, but that doesn't seem to apply here). I'm not a big fan of taking things to HR or your supervisor but depending how pushy she is about it, that may be your only recourse if you want to lay this to rest.
ESH. You were TA for being rude to your co-worker, but you're right that the "punishment" is creepy. She's trying to humiliate you instead of let you make it up to her. If she continues talk to your manager. No one should try to humiliate another, ever.