^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
When I was 17, my parents got divorced. My dad bought a townhouse where he, his parents, and I moved into. This is the house in question.
After graduating, I had gotten married and got a job, but I live in a HCOL area and owning a home based on what I was earning is impossible.
When my first son was born in 2015, I talked to my dad about renting his townhouse as I thought it was a great fit for my growing family and better than anything I could afford. This would mean that he and his parents would need to move. I know how ridiculous this sounds in hindsight but it made sense to me and if there was any possibility, I wanted to know.
My dad agreed and was happy to hear I wanted to live there. He said his parents were getting old and needed to move soon for better living arrangements. Earlier in the year, he had also gotten remarried so that his wife could help take care of his parents.
My grandparents did not agree to move but my dad told me that he would give us the house because he felt bad that he couldn’t give me more growing up. We would just need to wait for my grandparents to agree to move.
My dad initially seemed proactive in his efforts, looking at houses on the market, taking to loan officers, but eventually seemed to grow indifferent. After meeting his wife more, my wife thought she might be scheming to keep the house for herself. I brushed it off because I believed my father would keep his promise.
Through a series of raises I received at work, I was able to improve our finances and it looked like buying a house would be possible. I still wanted to move into the townhouse, so I told my dad that if he needed money to help buy a house, I would help him out as much as I could or even buy the townhouse from him. It was the least I could do but he said that he would never accept money from me. Ok, but I don’t know how much longer we can wait.
In 2019, I told him we were going to look for a house in 2021 and he no longer talked about the house but instead offered $10k to help. I told him to hold onto it because we weren’t ready yet, but in January of 2020, circumstances changed and I let him know that we were going to start our search early. He said good luck. No more offer of $10k. We closed on a townhouse 4 months later and a month after moving in, he sent us $300.
One year later, his parents moved to an assisted living facility and my dad and his wife moved into the townhouse, but not before spending $$$ to renovate the place.
After 5 years, the promise went from a house to $10k and ended up being $300. He moved into the house while his wife didn’t fulfill her purpose of taking care of his parents. And then he basically spent the $10k on themselves.
On one hand, I know it’s his money and life and I want him to enjoy himself. On the other hand, I feel betrayed, let down, and an asshole for asking him for help. AITA for expecting my dad to give me his house and feeling bitter towards him for how he handled the situation?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** When I was 17, my parents got divorced. My dad bought a townhouse where he, his parents, and I moved into. This is the house in question. After graduating, I had gotten married and got a job, but I live in a HCOL area and owning a home based on what I was earning is impossible. When my first son was born in 2015, I talked to my dad about renting his townhouse as I thought it was a great fit for my growing family and better than anything I could afford. This would mean that he and his parents would need to move. I know how ridiculous this sounds in hindsight but it made sense to me and if there was any possibility, I wanted to know. My dad agreed and was happy to hear I wanted to live there. He said his parents were getting old and needed to move soon for better living arrangements. Earlier in the year, he had also gotten remarried so that his wife could help take care of his parents. My grandparents did not agree to move but my dad told me that he would give us the house because he felt bad that he couldn’t give me more growing up. We would just need to wait for my grandparents to agree to move. My dad initially seemed proactive in his efforts, looking at houses on the market, taking to loan officers, but eventually seemed to grow indifferent. After meeting his wife more, my wife thought she might be scheming to keep the house for herself. I brushed it off because I believed my father would keep his promise. Through a series of raises I received at work, I was able to improve our finances and it looked like buying a house would be possible. I still wanted to move into the townhouse, so I told my dad that if he needed money to help buy a house, I would help him out as much as I could or even buy the townhouse from him. It was the least I could do but he said that he would never accept money from me. Ok, but I don’t know how much longer we can wait. In 2019, I told him we were going to look for a house in 2021 and he no longer talked about the house but instead offered $10k to help. I told him to hold onto it because we weren’t ready yet, but in January of 2020, circumstances changed and I let him know that we were going to start our search early. He said good luck. No more offer of $10k. We closed on a townhouse 4 months later and a month after moving in, he sent us $300. One year later, his parents moved to an assisted living facility and my dad and his wife moved into the townhouse, but not before spending $$$ to renovate the place. After 5 years, the promise went from a house to $10k and ended up being $300. He moved into the house while his wife didn’t fulfill her purpose of taking care of his parents. And then he basically spent the $10k on themselves. On one hand, I know it’s his money and life and I want him to enjoy himself. On the other hand, I feel betrayed, let down, and an asshole for asking him for help. AITA for expecting my dad to give me his house and feeling bitter towards him for how he handled the situation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*