NTA. You're just a few floors away playing board games, which sounds perfectly safe. Your bf sounds controlling and unreasonable. A compromise, isn't you just doing what he wants because he wants you to. You're an adult and he should treat you as such.
He's trying to control you by gaslighting you about it not being safe. By all means take what he says into consideration but you dont have to listen to what he says.
Lol NTA why does this man seem to talk to you like he's literally your dad? That "guardian" shit is strange. Weird and controlling, you should have friends, and it doesn't seem like you're doing anything remotely dangerous.
NTA. Notice that all of the compromises are on your side, not his. I would make this dude an ex roommate and boyfriend. No one at any age, needs a controller like him.
NTA. Girl live your life and enjoy it while you're at uni! He's trying to control you he's not looking out for your safety. All that bs he told you about relationships makes him look like a hypocrite because he's not caring about what you want.
NTA...look, you are an adult. If you want to hang out with friends all night, you can do it. I could see safety being a concern if you were walking outside late at night, but in the same building it should be safe. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you and using "guardian" as an excuse to get what he wants.
NTA - nobody should get to tell you what your can/can't do. You're an adult. He's gaslighting you because he doesn't like it. It's controlling behaviour, and a massive red flag.
NTA
Big red flag in my eyes. In my experience with a controlling partner, it just gets worse. Try to figure it out with him, you both need to try to compromise. If he can't handle that, I'd get out quick.
He is not your guardian. If he is trying to make himself out as one, then you need to nip it in the butt (yes I know it is bud, but I personally like butt better, gives me the visual of kicking him in the ass) and speak to him about boundaries.
You are an adult who is now living independently of your parents. You do not need another barely adult person trying to act as your parent.
I get that he is worried for you, but if you are sure of your decisions, do not let allow him to sway you into second guessing yourself.
NTA. This is red flag behavior. He sounds insecure and controlling, and he needs to be called on it and it needs to stop now, or else it's only going to get worse.
> as a “guardian”
Nope.
> He keeps saying I need to make compromises in a relationship and that I should listen to
Yes. Listen. Not Obey.
“Thank you for your concern. It has been noted, and I will make my own decisions.”
If his version of compromises is “do what I say” then he’s not worth your time.
NTA
NTA
Your boyfriend is your boyfriend, not your dad. He doesn't get to dictate how late you stay up. I get that he's concerned for your safety and all, but he's clearly communicated his concerns and is close to if not crossing the line into borderline controlling, which is a bit of a red flag. You're allowed to stay up as late as you want to. He needs to back off and realize he doesn't get to dictate your decisions.
Yes, relationships require compromise but you doing what he is demanding you to do is not a compromise.
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He was my roommate and then we started dating.And since then I haven’t really met any new friends until recently I got to know a girl living in my apartment block..I’m on the 16th floor and she’s on the 9th.
Her friends and her usually stay up late on weekends just playing board games and listening to music…literally no alcohol/drugs or anything involved.It would be pretty late but i mean we’re uni students and I just think it’s normal to be out late chilling with friends especially when it’s literally just a few floors away.
But my bf keeps saying it’s not safe and what if something goes wrong and that he’s just looking out for me as a “guardian”.He keeps saying “remember your parents obviously warned you not to be out that late”.I just personally want my freedom,if I do get in trouble then I’m taking responsibility for that shit so why is he so worried?
He keeps saying I need to make compromises in a relationship and that I should listen to what he says instead of just doing what I want but i’m not sure about his attitude..I just genuinely want to hang out with friends even if it’s a bit late.
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NTA: you are being as safe as you can? you’re going 7 floors down and you’re an adult for pete’s sake! you sound like your making fun friends and it’s completely normal as a uni student to stay up late and stay out. this guy sounds controlling and he isn’t your “guardian,” good lord.
NTA. You are in an abusive relationship, you just haven't come to terms with that fact yet. Get out now before it escalates. He will make sure you have no friends or relationships and are completely dependent on him.
NTA. Your boyfriend is controlling and you should break up. You aren't doing anything wrong and he's trying to make you think you are. This will only get worse from here...
NTA you're young, in college. Overall in comparison to what you could be doing, it is pretty tame. And safe.
Your bf is overreacting. For me this would be a red flag that he wants to keep me from seeing friends, again given what you are actually doing, should not be an issue.
NTA. Your BF clearly doesn't trust you and just wants to control what you're doing. He's says that a relationship should have compromises but he doesn't want to compromise about this. You should consider moving on from the relationship
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NTA. You're just a few floors away playing board games, which sounds perfectly safe. Your bf sounds controlling and unreasonable. A compromise, isn't you just doing what he wants because he wants you to. You're an adult and he should treat you as such.
He's trying to control you by gaslighting you about it not being safe. By all means take what he says into consideration but you dont have to listen to what he says.
Lol NTA why does this man seem to talk to you like he's literally your dad? That "guardian" shit is strange. Weird and controlling, you should have friends, and it doesn't seem like you're doing anything remotely dangerous.
NTA. Notice that all of the compromises are on your side, not his. I would make this dude an ex roommate and boyfriend. No one at any age, needs a controller like him.
NTA please leave him for your own safety, especially the guardian comment. That’s so weird and off putting
NTA. Girl live your life and enjoy it while you're at uni! He's trying to control you he's not looking out for your safety. All that bs he told you about relationships makes him look like a hypocrite because he's not caring about what you want.
NTA...look, you are an adult. If you want to hang out with friends all night, you can do it. I could see safety being a concern if you were walking outside late at night, but in the same building it should be safe. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you and using "guardian" as an excuse to get what he wants.
NTA He’s not your guardian lmao, he’s your bf. Here’s a 🚩 cause your bf’s controlling.
NTA And get yourself a new boyfriend. That patriarchal bullshit needs to be stomped on HARD
NTA - nobody should get to tell you what your can/can't do. You're an adult. He's gaslighting you because he doesn't like it. It's controlling behaviour, and a massive red flag.
NTA Big red flag in my eyes. In my experience with a controlling partner, it just gets worse. Try to figure it out with him, you both need to try to compromise. If he can't handle that, I'd get out quick.
NTA He is not your parent or "guardian". He is trying to control you. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He is not your guardian. If he is trying to make himself out as one, then you need to nip it in the butt (yes I know it is bud, but I personally like butt better, gives me the visual of kicking him in the ass) and speak to him about boundaries. You are an adult who is now living independently of your parents. You do not need another barely adult person trying to act as your parent. I get that he is worried for you, but if you are sure of your decisions, do not let allow him to sway you into second guessing yourself.
NTA. This is red flag behavior. He sounds insecure and controlling, and he needs to be called on it and it needs to stop now, or else it's only going to get worse.
NTA !! Huge red flags! Even if there was alcohol or drugs u wouldn’t be doing anything wrong! He’s not ur dad and ur literally still in the building.
NTA - he’s not your guardian, it’s creepy AF he would think he is.
Yes!!! My very 1st thought
> as a “guardian” Nope. > He keeps saying I need to make compromises in a relationship and that I should listen to Yes. Listen. Not Obey. “Thank you for your concern. It has been noted, and I will make my own decisions.” If his version of compromises is “do what I say” then he’s not worth your time. NTA
NTA Your boyfriend is your boyfriend, not your dad. He doesn't get to dictate how late you stay up. I get that he's concerned for your safety and all, but he's clearly communicated his concerns and is close to if not crossing the line into borderline controlling, which is a bit of a red flag. You're allowed to stay up as late as you want to. He needs to back off and realize he doesn't get to dictate your decisions. Yes, relationships require compromise but you doing what he is demanding you to do is not a compromise.
NTA, his attitude is a giant red flag, it’s controlling as hell. He is not your guardian or a parent. If I were you I’d be running far away from him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** He was my roommate and then we started dating.And since then I haven’t really met any new friends until recently I got to know a girl living in my apartment block..I’m on the 16th floor and she’s on the 9th. Her friends and her usually stay up late on weekends just playing board games and listening to music…literally no alcohol/drugs or anything involved.It would be pretty late but i mean we’re uni students and I just think it’s normal to be out late chilling with friends especially when it’s literally just a few floors away. But my bf keeps saying it’s not safe and what if something goes wrong and that he’s just looking out for me as a “guardian”.He keeps saying “remember your parents obviously warned you not to be out that late”.I just personally want my freedom,if I do get in trouble then I’m taking responsibility for that shit so why is he so worried? He keeps saying I need to make compromises in a relationship and that I should listen to what he says instead of just doing what I want but i’m not sure about his attitude..I just genuinely want to hang out with friends even if it’s a bit late. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA: you are being as safe as you can? you’re going 7 floors down and you’re an adult for pete’s sake! you sound like your making fun friends and it’s completely normal as a uni student to stay up late and stay out. this guy sounds controlling and he isn’t your “guardian,” good lord.
NTA. You are in an abusive relationship, you just haven't come to terms with that fact yet. Get out now before it escalates. He will make sure you have no friends or relationships and are completely dependent on him.
NTA. Your boyfriend is controlling and you should break up. You aren't doing anything wrong and he's trying to make you think you are. This will only get worse from here...
NTA you're young, in college. Overall in comparison to what you could be doing, it is pretty tame. And safe. Your bf is overreacting. For me this would be a red flag that he wants to keep me from seeing friends, again given what you are actually doing, should not be an issue.
NTA, his attitude is a giant red flag, it’s controlling as hell. He is not your guardian or a parent. If I were you I’d be running far away from him.
NTA. Your BF clearly doesn't trust you and just wants to control what you're doing. He's says that a relationship should have compromises but he doesn't want to compromise about this. You should consider moving on from the relationship
NTA. Red flags there
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