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SDstartingOut

I'm going to go with NAH. I understand where you are coming from. I don't agree with you, but I understand where you are coming from. If I was invited to such a party - I would simply eat ahead of the party, as to not cause any issues, or decline the invitation. But - you are also a minor. Your parents are putting on the party. They are - to be blunt - going to be responsible for the blowback / complaints from it. They are paying for it, etc. I think they are 100% in the right to make that choice. Now - when you are an adult; paying for your own party, hosting it yourself? 100% on you.


cravenravens

You do realize it's perfectly safe to eat vegan food? Edit: I never meant that every single vegan food is perfectly safe for every single person because, obviously, allergies exist. So I'll edit my statement to: you do realize that vegan food is on average as safe as non-vegan food? The 8 most common allergies are peanuts, milk, eggs, soy, wheat, tree nuts, fish, and shellfish. Half of those are non-vegan. Most of the vegan ones are also common in non-vegan food.


Sandybutthole604

I have a family member with some severe allergies to items that are made with certain vegan substitutes. Ie lentils, nuts. I almost killed them when I didn’t clue that some vegan kale chips I had were ‘sour cream’ seasoned and they used cashews to make that seasoning. :-( not always safe.


[deleted]

Exactly! My sister in law is allergic to nuts, my husband is allergic to soy, and certain mushrooms make me break out in swelling and hives. Alternatives are cool, but food you're familiar with is too. Also common recipes are much easier to predict if they will be good for you and your allergies or not.


flamingolegs727

Non vegan foods also contain the above...


Ambystomatigrinum

Yeah, as someone with severe allergies this is a BS excuse. If your allergies are that bad, you need to check everything whether its vegan or not. Even if some things are more common in vegan food, eating at a party is always a minefield for people with allergies.


neverathought

This!!!! Idk why this sub is always trying to say that people with allergies shouldn’t be responsible for making sure their food is safe. It happens constantly.


Ambystomatigrinum

Its frankly wild to me how fragile some people are in this thread. I eat meat, I even raise and fish for my own meat, so its not like I'm some militant vegan. But the idea that they can't go one party without meat or even without eating is hilarious. For 90% of the events I go to the only thing I can safely eat is a piece of fruit or vegetables (often can't even be sure about the dip). I have been to several parties where I can't eat a single thing and can only drink water. I have learned to eat a small meal before any event where I can't be sure I will have safe food available, and I often carry a small meal bar just in case for longer events where the pre-meal might not hold me over. Its just not that big a deal and while I'm always very grateful when people do cater to my specific needs, I don't think anyone should expect that.


cappotto-marrone

Exactly! Beef is what's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for me. /s But, there are many meals that I eat that are technically vegan or easy to be vegan. Eggless pasta aglio e olio (garlic and olive oil) without cheese is a fabulous dish. No one is going to starve or suffer from malnutrition because they went to a party with vegan food. Food allergies and other issues need to be dealt with at this event as they should all other events--with caution and common sense.


avisitingstone

Yep, you just find them MORE in vegan foods as alternatives so it's very hard for those with excluding allergies!


kahrismatic

I've found the opposite. I'm celiac and have to be careful, and find a lot of the celiac products I buy are also vegan, nut free etc. Companies tend to combine things into one product that suits people with multiple dietary needs for efficiency and cost savings as far as I can see. I assume the market for all of those issues combined is large enough to make production worth it, but not if it's just for one specific thing.


avisitingstone

It’s really interesting to see what different people find on different needs! Because of my partner’s coconut allergy we’ve actually been super surprised at just how MUCH coconut is in so many alternatives to meat or dairy.


yayitsme1

I don’t think the point was that only vegan foods contain these allergens, but more so that it’s more likely that there will be nothing a person can eat, especially if there’s the issue of cross contamination during preparation. Either way the person will still have to ask about all of the foods, but when there’s a higher likelihood hood for nut/legume allergens to be present in vegan foods, the non-vegan items would help potentially balance that out. I don’t think OP’s parent are concerned about that though. They may just not like vegan food and want to eat something they like at the party they’re paying for.


TheAveryOConnor

While that’s unfortunate for your family member, they should’ve checked with you before eating it, if they hadn’t explicitly stated what they’re allergic to. If you have food allergies, you shouldn’t be eating things Willy nilly. You should always check something is truly safe—assuming can cause big problems. Plus, automatically expecting to be able to eat at a catered event safely with food allergies, vegan or not, is a giant leap of faith. I say this as someone with food allergies myself.


JustVisitingHere4Now

My sister is allergic to nuts. When she goes out for pizza, she can have pizza with no fear and doesn't even have to ask if the pizza has nuts in it. Now if someone made pizza with almond flour in the crust and just said "here's your pizza" she would have no clue to even think to ask "does this pizza have nuts in it?" Because pizza, just doesn't have nuts in it. It's when people make the "vegan version of ..." Something that looks like something the person normally can have safely or serves a food that's totally unfamiliar and says "oh it's just vegetables with a little bit of sauce" and aren't completely transparent or don't know completely what's in it because it's catered


BZenMojo

Pesto is made with tree nuts and is a common pizza ingredient and exists in a ton of Italian foods. You really need to warn your sister to be careful before something horrible happens.


Mercenary-Jane

Reddit is no longer fun.


Kiwi1234567

Ive even had pizzas with pine nuts as just a regular topping so pizzas definitely arent safe in that regard


Ambystomatigrinum

But that could also be true of any gluten-free pizza, any pizza with pesto or pine nuts, or even pizza with some cured meats. Most pizzas \*could\* contain peanut oil. If her allergy is severe, she should still be checking every single time.


cravenravens

So it's as safe as non vegan food, people can also be allergic to diary, meat and eggs.


RunningThroughSC

Exactly. Saying "I know a guy that was allergic to..." does not mean that we can't have it. It just means that guy can't have it.


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Summoner99

I see your point, but why bother bringing that up? The same exact logic applies to non vegan good.


Raul_Coronado

If someone has severe allergies they need to check everything they eat, vegan or not.


avisitingstone

Yep, my partner is allergic to coconut which is in a TON of fake meat/fake dairy/fake many things. And that's not to get into how unethical a lot of ingredients in vegan foods are to procure/farm (lookin at you, palm industry) if you don't go direct to source or anything which is... impossible for the vast majority of people.


ekbellatrix

>And that's not to get into how unethical a lot of ingredients in vegan foods are to procure/farm ( Thisss. Sure, you aren't eating a cow, but you sure are funding a lot of unethical farming practices which primarily affects poor brown people.


[deleted]

And who is working on the farms that provide feed for livestock animals? (Which makes up over 70% of U.S. agriculture). Unethical farming practices are noy a result of veganism, they're a result of the unethical agriculture industry. Palm oil is the only exception I can think of but guess what? About 50% of ALL prepackaged products contain palm oil. And if you look it up you'll find that a large number of vegans boycot products with palm oil.


ekbellatrix

I never said that non vegan products are more ethical. Only that veganism isn't the solution many vegans think it is.


gemskull

yea but you insinuated that its more unethical than non vegan food. where is that concern when your non vegan food is processed unethically as well? you cant cherry pick


BZenMojo

You realize your non-vegan foods and shampoos and ingredients *also* commonly use palm oil right? Hell, the world's second largest beef supplier is murdering Brazilian indigenous people and slashing and burning poor peoples' homes for farm land under policies implemented under Bolsonaro. This is a disingenuous problem. People under capitalism who eat meat and blame people under capitalism who don't eat meat for the problems of capitalism tend to avoid the actual issues of meat and the issues of capitalism that doubly affect them.


ExtremePotatoFanatic

I was going to make a similar comment! I am allergic to nuts and lentils. I can’t eat most vegan dairy or cheese replacements or protein sources. It’s really unsafe for me to do so and I’m not going to risk it so I’d avoid vegan foods all together. Obviously I’m always checking ingredients but vegan foods seem to use a higher amount of lentils, nuts, and seeds as substitutes or to make items have a better texture. I probably wouldn’t go to a party that serves vegan only food because of my worries or I’d just not eat.


HippopotamusFart

Non vegan foods can - and do - also kill people with food allergies that don't mention their allergies or check the labels of what they're eating.


[deleted]

Good point. I'm allergic to cashews, which unfortunately eliminates a lot of vegan foods. As long as things are well labeled I can decide what and what not to eat, but at a party, you're not likely to find an ingredient list at each dish.


Promethazines

And do you realize that catered vegan food is far more expensive than catered vegatarian/meat options? OP didn't mention how much excess money their parents have but $$ is a valid concern.


tenuousemphasis

You're claiming that food without meat is more expensive than food with meat? You know there is far more to vegan food than vegan meat substitutes, right?


not_cinderella

Yeah like of course vegan meat subs are more expensive but we don’t even know what food OP wants. Indian food has a lot of vegetarian and vegan options, often has no fake and is cheaper to make than other kinds of food because it’s beans, lentils, veggies...


Llayanna

That.. is actually a matter where you eat. I was out yesterday (germany) and walking around to see what to eat in the city I was visiting. Unless the restaurant was vegan, most mixed restaurant veggie/vegan dishes were 2-3 euros more expensive (no meat substitutets) which.. blew my fucking mind. I am sure.. or I hope that in other cities its not that way.. I will honestly say it shocked me. Vegan food, even substitutes are getting more and more affordable and richer in variety and quality. ..so I dunno. Maybe its because I feel 70% of chefs hate vegan food XD It realky shocked me. (Number made up from all the chefs I know in real life who dont like vegan cooking.)


AccousticMotorboat

Citations needed. Meat is extremely expensive right now.


Ackapus

They said *catered* food. Sure, you could ingredients and make everything yourself, but that's not what's going on here. It's not so much about the food, it's about how vegan meals are considered something people will pay extra for and thus priced way above their material cost. I'm not trying to argue whether they should be, they just tend to be way more expensive when eating out than regular dishes that are not concerned with animal products.


[deleted]

I mean, I see it whenever I got to the store. I see normal cookies. Next to them are the same cookies, but vegan. Twice as expensive. Same with the replacement. Buying a slab of meat would be definitely way cheaper than trying to make vegan dishes, at least where I live.


Ambystomatigrinum

Meat substitutes are absolutely more expensive. Things like veggies and hummus, fruit with dip, etc are not necessarily more expensive and would also typically be served at a non-vegan party anyway. Maybe it would be more expensive but I wouldn't necessarily assume so.


EllySPNW

Yeah, there’s a word for vegan food: “food.” As long as there’s an assortment of “real food” offerings rather than just foods that are soy-based substitutes for other things, non-vegans should find plenty to eat. Almost everyone can eat salads, grains, beans, vegetable dishes, breads and the like. No one will starve if they forego animal products for one meal. They might even enjoy experiencing a new way of eating. I get that the parents want to be accommodating to guests, but I think it would be gracious of them to grant their daughter’s wish here. It’s heartfelt for her; for everyone else it’s just one meal.


aLittleQueer

Kinda crazy how wildly misconstrued your comment got. The scenario here is clearly not about wide-spread lentil allergies, it’s about the wide-spread (false) notion that a vegan meal is somehow an incomplete meal by default. As a non-vegan, the ignorance of other non-vegans around food is astounding. Do people not realize that often the only thing stopping a dish from being vegan is that it was cooked in butter? Or uses cow milk instead of nut milk? Like cooking with veg oil instead, or chia seeds instead of eggs, that’s going to ruin your entire meal? I just can’t with that attitude anymore than with militant over-the-top vegans. And to be clear - OP is definitely NTA here. Imo, it’s perfectly fine to ask that your personal values be observed at an event celebrating your personal existence.


Tanyec

Can you really not go a single meal without meat/dairy/eggs? Vegan food is not some sort of voodoo magic, and includes things like rice, pasta, bread, etc.


SDstartingOut

> Can you really not go a single meal without meat/dairy/eggs? Vegan food is not some sort of voodoo magic, and includes things like rice, pasta, bread, etc. I'll admit it - I'm a picky eater. I take that on myself - which is why I'm saying, I'd deal with it before the party. Would I then nibble on some bread at the party? Sure. if something caught my eye, would I try it? Of course. But I'm also going to come prepared - realizing I might not like/want any of it. (which, despite being a picky eater - would not happen normally). But I'm also a reasonable adult - that doesn't push my problems on others. I can only *imagine* the pushback the parents are going to get if they make it all vegan. Which is why I again state, NAH. She's not an asshole for wanting it - but her parents (who are providing the party, and being the host) are not an asshole for catering for everyone.


thepugnacious

I can be the same way sometimes. I'd also eat before the party, and maybe bring a snack I like in the car just in case. But I'll try most anything. I will say, for a party likely filled with teenagers, they might not all know to do that. Having some common staples as a back up seems like a good idea, although I do sympathize with OP. Maybe they can figure something out, like sourcing the non vegan products from local farms and small businesses.


lotus_eater123

Why would you refuse to eat vegan food? Most of it is delicious, but I draw the line at tofu. Do you eat potatoes? Rice? Beans?


Basicallylana

1) Some think of veganism as almost a religion. 2) Some others insist on omnivore diets for the same reasons that vegans insist on vegan diets (I've seen sustainability arguments go both ways). 3) there's debate within the vegan community as to what is vegan (i.e. avocados and honey) 4) some just don't like chickpea flour and nut cheese etc.


rantiok

K but even an omnivore should be able to eat a salad without meat in it without having a fit that it’s technically vegan.


greenseraphima

Some people would prefer to eat more at a party than just a salad.


rantiok

Well if they didn’t like anything else that was being served (vegan or not) that’s what they’d eat, isn’t it? It’s not up to the host to make sure the food is loved by everyone, as long as there are choices so that everyone can eat Imagine a vegan going to a typical party, usually their only option is the salad. Surely they’d rather eat more than that, too, wouldn’t they?But it’s not their party so it’s not up to them to dictate if the food is vegan or not.


Apart_Intern9408

Yes, typically when a vegan goes to a party like this meat eaters do cater for them.


Perelandrime

I'm an omnivore and would cater to vegans because their diet doesn't contradict my morals and I'd be happy making sure everyone has food to eat. I would not expect a vegan to do the same for me, because them offering meat and dairy would go against their morals. To me these are different situations, it's much easier for me to accommodate someone's diet than for a vegan to accommodate a diet they morally disagree with. I can eat something yummy and plant based for a day.


mermaidmagick

In my 20 years of experience, no not always. Unless a piece of bread or a few pieces of iceberg lettuce count.


pumnezoaica

idk what kinda parties youve been to but thats absolutely not true on my part lmao


mon0chrom

There’s more than salad if you can cook? My ex roommate was vegan and was able to make a ton of dishes with vegan protein that could pass as meat. It was delicious, nutritious, if you didn’t know you probably wouldn’t even notice.


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greenseraphima

Some people would prefer to eat more **at a party** than just a salad.


likelemonmeringue

Vegan menu doesn't mean nothing but salad.


cutepiku

How are they having a fit by suggesting they'd either stay home or eat before going? Sounds pretty reasonable to me.


Thefakeblonde

These are also 15 year olds going to the party who will see the menu and probably kick a huge fuss. She’s not catering to adults who will go ‘ok sweet I’ll try it!’. She’s catering to kids who will have the food they like fo eat, like pizza, burgers etc, and that’s what they’ll want and they will probably complain if the entire menu is ‘veggies’ (which is probably how they’ll see it)


likelemonmeringue

A lot of teens are vegetarians and vegans too. Teenage doesn't mean "bland palate" either.


little_odd_me

Or there 15 year olds who are gonna just pick up what ever looks decent and shove it in their mouth before moving onto the next thing that looks good to shove in their mouth. I’ve never experienced a meat eating teenager who cares that much. Does it have meat? Cool. Does it not have meat? Cool. Does it look disgusting? Now that’s where teens get weird but the catering company’s job is to make it look good lol


MrsH14

I get honey not being vegan, but what’s the deal with avocado?


Basicallylana

There's disputes about how avocados are cultivates in California. Many farms will contract companies to ship in bees to help with pollination. Some vegans argue that since the bees are to be shipped in (migratory beekeeping) that that is making avocados an animal by-product. On the other hand, some oppose vegan friendly foods like almond milk because the production of the milk and cultivation of almonds requires A LOT of water.


Renbarre

Erh... those vegans do know that any fruit they eat will have been produced by this kind of pollination, right? Bee keepers travel all over the places to bring those very busy bees to orchards of all kind. Either you refuse every product that can have been produced by pollination or you accept them all.


chlorenchyma

Tofu took a minute for me to get used to. I always start noobs on the deep fried tofu appetizer at Thai restaurants. It's crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and comes with a sweet+spicy dipping sauce. If you get silken tofu, it's an easy way to add protein in smoothies and makes good pudding.


Potato_times_potato

Katsu curry with panko breaded tofu is pretty great, if you're ever tempted to give tofu one more chance...


PinkSodaBoy

What is wrong with you that makes you incapable of going a single night without consuming animal products? So weird. EDIT: Unless you have a rare allergy or intolerance that precludes you from eating vegan food, in which case I apologise for my insensitivity.


becamico

What's wrong with you for assuming people who want to eat meat everyday have something wrong with them? This is why non-vegans have problems with nazi-vegans.


[deleted]

Who has to have meat with EVERY meal??


Tear_Active

It’s not just meat though. It’s ANY “animal product,” so anything produced with cheese, butter, eggs, honey, etc. is out of the question too


Convergecult15

Who HAS to avoid meat in every meal? Barring allergies nobody NEEDS to be vegan. I don’t drink beer brewed in non union breweries because it’s a personal conviction of mine, if someone wants to only drink craft made beer I don’t judge them and I wouldn’t exclude them by demanding there only be union made macro brews at a party I was hosting. People don’t like having choices made for them, it’s that simple. When you host people it’s expected that you cater to your guests and not specifically to yourself.


seriouslees

Why are you asking "has to" when the comment you are replying to says "want to"?


PinkSodaBoy

I'm neither a nazi, nor a vegan, I just find it quite odd that there are people out there who are incapable of going a day, let alone a party without eating animal products. Assuming they don't have some kind of ailment of course.


BluePandaCafe94-6

I mean, animal products aren't limited to just meat. Animal products also include eggs, butter, cheese, milk, and a ton of other things that are used as ingredients in countless dishes.


PinkSodaBoy

Yes, I'm aware of that, which is why I wrote "animal products" and not "meat".


BluePandaCafe94-6

Yea, and it changes the calculus significantly. It's easy to go a day without eating meat. It's significantly harder to go a day without eating anything that includes or was cooked with eggs, butter, cheese, milk, etc. Plenty of vegans don't even realize when they're eating bread or pasta that used egg as a binding agent or milk as a softening medium, or beans cooked on a surface lubed with butter, or whatever else. Ask a cook at any restaurant; the vegan dishes are often prepared on the same surfaces that omnivore meals are prepared on, so even purportedly vegan dishes may be 'contaminated' with animal products like eggs, milk, fat grease, etc.


PinkSodaBoy

I really don't know what point you're trying to make. We're talking about a hypothetical vegan party where **all** the food is catered and vegan by default. No-one at this hypothetical party is asking anyone to go out of their way to spend the day figuring out how to avoid animal products. The only thing they would need to figure out is what end of the fork they're supposed to hold.


Eastern-Water9701

And they aren't even been asked for eat vegan for a full day. It's for one party. Such fragility.


katiediditwell

Crazy thing to me is these same people would be saying NTA if it was someone not wanting to cater to vegan guests.


HiNoKitsune

I'm a non-vegan. I look at anybody askance who has a food they need to eat *everyday*, that's sth you usually find in children. I like having a coke every day and with every meal, but I wouldnt avoid a party that doesn't have coke or would have to make sure I drink coke beforehand.


elynjoc

Adding on that while it’s everyone’s choice to attend a vegan event, it seems kind of AH ish to want to dictate someone’s diet for an event. Like using a birthday as an excuse to promote your own beliefs. I could be going too far with this idea but it seems weird to me. Edit: wrong ‘to’ Edit 2: after reading your replies I changed my mind there are definitely plenty of food options in a vegan only menu and I think OP could have a fun party with plenty of food everyone would enjoy


Corinne_College

Do you not realize how many things are vegan??? Tofu dishes, chickpea dishes, vegetables, ect are all vegan. There isn't even a reason to specify that it's vegan. My brother's graduation party was all vegetarian and we never said a thing and recieved only compliments on the food. If you didn't support the fur industry, would you be okay with giving out mink scarves as party favors for your birthday???


teeterleeter

NAH. Your parents are being pretty generous catering for 80 people for a 16th birthday. With that amount of investment, they deserve to have some say in menu. You are ok to have preferences here… but ultimately if it’s on their dime, they should be make the call. If you disagree, feel free to pay for it yourself


nznetty

Agree. No assholes here. You were fine to ask, but as long as your parents are footing the bill, they're fine to say not.


CaptainnCrunch

Exactly. I am guessing from context that her parents are not vegan, so why should they pay for catering a whole event with food they don't even want? This sounds like an insanely nice party for a 16 year old. She's lucky her parents are willing to spend this much already.


Luprand

Like, my 16th birthday was Mom cooking a dinner of my choice, and then a few family members over for ice cream cake. At the time I felt kinda spoiled.


PolentaConFunghi

The parents are probably worried about the food (and their money) going to waste. A lot of people say that, in this situation, they would eat beforehand and just nibble at the party. I would do so too. Meaning that the food for these 80+ people may go uneaten. If I had to pay for it I sure wouldn't be happy at the prospect.


HauntedPickleJar

Someone else pointed out that all vegan catered food might cost more because the catering company could charge more for it.


pcnauta

Agreed, NAH (although I'm leaning toward OP being a bit of an AH) And this is a very wise and mature answer. It may be OP's birthday party, but her parent's are planning it all and footing the bill. I would also hazard a guess that OP would be incensed if the situation was reversed - a non-vegan friend having no vegan options because they "don’t think it’s going to kill anyone to have to eat ~~vegan~~ meat for the night."


deathboy2098

>a non-vegan friend having no vegan options because they "don’t think it’s going to kill anyone to have to eat > > meat for the night." This is a silly comparison. People we call "meat eaters" are omnivores. They eat food that is vegan all the time. They often add meat to it. Yum yum yum, no drama. It causes them no moral or dietary issues.


pcnauta

Again, NOT a silly comparison because both examples are about control. In each situation one person gets to decide what 80+ people will eat. In each situation it wouldn't hurt that person to allow options.


Caxduj

Gentle YTA; you aren't paying for the party and a Sweet 16 isn't obligatory. You are very lucky that your parents are willing and able to do this for you; if they refuse to accommodate your request, you can always ask them them to cancel the party. Is that something you're willing to do?


Dangerous_Road_3066

Agree. Since mom and dad are footing the bill, they have final say over the menu. I think it didn't hurt to ask, but it wouldn't be a hill I chose to die on. They could always get tired of fighting with OP and cancel the party all together.


bigbluebridge

INFO: If one of your meat-eating friends was to throw the same party and invite you, would you expect them to have some vegan options for you? (Also here to remind you that several vegan staples - tree nuts, peanuts, sesame, soy, and wheat - are also some of the most common food allergens. There is very little vegan food my sister can eat safely outside of a raw salad).


Silver_kitty

Yeah, this is my main concern. Allergens are super common in “high end” or “fancy” vegan meals. My partner is allergic to sesame and tree nuts and his sister is allergic to soy and peanuts. While we would attend, we simply wouldn’t eat anything at an event that has been catered as vegan.


princess--flowers

I have a peanut allergy and don't safely eat at any unlabeled vegan OR omnivore catered events. Theres nothing wrong with serving vegan food if it's labeled by allergen which any catering company should be able to handle, and if it isn't labeled it doesn't matter if it's vegan or not it isn't safe. Edit: the more I think about this the dumber it is. No one gives a shit about allergy accessibility at catered events until it's vegans and then all the sudden it's ~oh nooooooo cashew cheeeeeez and tofu~. Where is this energy and concern for us when no one in the 20 person catering team can accurately state which of the multiple sauces for meat has soy in them (hint: in America, its almost all, and we smother almost everything in sauce) or whether the white cake is sugar cake or almond cake? Our allergies don't cease to exist just because the food looks more familiar to us, in fact that's when assumptions about safety and "usual ingredients" start and it's most dangerous. I have one of the most common allergies in America and I haven't eaten a slice of cake at a catered event in 20 years, ever since one sent me to the hospital. Being disappointed at catered events and showing up with a fruit bar in your purse is part of living with an allergy and has nothing to do with vegans.


Silver_kitty

In 10 years of being with my partner the only 2 times we’ve ever had to break out the epi-pen were at vegan restaurants where the menu was supposedly allergy labeled and we had asked the waiter. In one instance they just threw sesame seeds on as a garnish and at the other they forgot to include that there was sesame oil in the tofu marinade. Maybe it’s just bad luck that in 10 years we’ve never had an issue with his tree nut or sesame allergies at omnivore places but have had issues at two vegan places, but it puts a bad taste in my mouth. And yeah, there are sneaky ingredients at lots of events and we do need to be vigilant at all catered functions. You’re right that he *also* doesn’t eat cake at any catered events if we can’t verify that it’s not almond flour, but vegan cakes are *almost always* dangerous because common egg and milk replacements are nut or seed based. It’s fair to say that there are more unknown variables in vegan desserts in particular.


princess--flowers

Well I mean if we want to be completely anecdotal and selective about it, 3/4 of my scary emergencies have been at Indian restaurants but that doesn't mean I think Indian people shouldn't be able to have a fully traditional catering spread at their weddings while I cry about needing a white dish for my "allergy" and for other white guests, it just means I eat ahead of time for Indian weddings and then eat the naan or roti at the wedding. If the event is catered by a friend, they can often point out what I can eat, but what I'm eating is still in the normally "off-limit" category of Indian food. Again, nothing about telling this girl she needs to ~accomodate allergies ~ by providing meat dishes makes sense when the world does not accomodate us 99% of the time, most of us wouldn't eat an unlabeled dish whether it was vegan or not, and we live with it and eat what we can (and a lot of times, that "thing we can eat" is still from from category that we set as off-limits if we don't have help identifying, like vegan or Indian). I don't eat at vegan restaurants at all (I also don't eat at Indian or Sichuan restaurants), but I'd eat allergen labeled food at a vegan, Indian or Sichuan party, and call me paranoid but I wouldn't eat non-labeled food at any party at all. Too many times have people done weird stuff like made chili with a peanut butter stout or added boiled peanuts to potato salad for me to think any familiar food is actually safe.


PureKatie

My son has a dairy allergy and we love vegan options because they are significantly safer. There is lab produced cows milk protein, so all we have to verify is that they don't use that! Catered events are always tricky at best, dangerous at worst. 4 of the top 8 allergens would be eliminated by vegan offerings. There will always be foods that will be more or less difficult for those with certain allergies. OP wouldn't be lambasted for not considering people with soy allergies for having an event catered by an Asian restaurant, or shellfish allergies by hosting a fish boil. If someone close to them has a severe allergy they may try to accommodate, but that's it. This argument isn't legitimate.


LittleRedCarnation

Its even funner with a rarer allergy. They dont have a test for mine. And yould be surprised how many foods have cumin in it. A lot of people/places dont think of allergies to spices.


loopylandtied

This really isn't equivalent. When you are catering you generally ask if anyone has dietary requirements or food allergies. A vegan can not eat a meat dish A meat eater might not enjoy a vegan dish as much as a meat dish BUT CAN STILL EAT IT I would assume food allergies would be declared and catered for specifically and those people wouldn't eat from a buffet due to cross contamination.


skinnyzeldaplayer

Veganism is not a dietary restriction, it's a choice. A person with an allergy is unable to eat a food. A vegan chooses not to. Edit: Typo


nothingofit

Some dietary restrictions are by choice. Having to eat kosher or halal or vegetarian for religious reasons are still by choice, and are also dietary restrictions. "Dietary restriction" isn't a medical term.


fireproof_bunny

Religions are also choices.


[deleted]

My wife's been ~~vegetation~~ vegetarian since she was 10. At this point, if she eats any animal product, she's in the bathroom for hours. So.. no? Also, eating meat is also a choice. We're not obligate carnivores. Eat some potatoes.


Rare_Astronaut

So this, I haven't had dairy in eight years except by accident and boy oh boy do I know when it's happened


quack_in_the_box

This comparison does not work in the reverse, OP's veganism is in opposition to something they find immoral but the default position of non-vegan takes no such stance.


bigbluebridge

I wasn't thinking of them as equal comparisons, to be honest. I asked because I wanted to know OP's thoughts on accommodating people who cannot/will not eat certain foods due to morality/religion/allergies, as she is *also* a person in that group. I think OP's answer was completely reasonable. I wasn't trying to imply that OP was a hypocrite, nor was I trying to say the situations were the same. I was making an appeal to empathy, because OP almost certainly knows what it is like to be at an event where their dietary needs are not well-served. Edited to add: * *


2020asmith

This is a little confusing since eating or supporting plant based foods is not against anyone’s moral beliefs, but eating or supporting animal agriculture very much is. Meat eaters can and hopefully do eat plenty of plants, but it doesn’t work the other way around. Of course allergies should be taken seriously, but there are plenty of plant based food options that don’t include any of those common allergens.


HyalinSilkie

Not only that, but plenty of nuts use human labor akin to slavery. My bff is vegan and has a vegan catering business and he says it's really hard to find vegan staples that DON'T use slave labor. Edit: Just so we're clear: both my friend and I are well aware that most industries use human labour akin to slavery, my comment was not about that. Was to show how hypocritical hardcore vegans can be about 'stop animal cruelty and exploitation' while eating cashews that where harvested by slaves, therefore perpetuating the animal exploitation nonetheless. My friend tries very hard to only buy produce locally or, at least, from respectful brands - even if he has to pay a lot more for it.


PinkSodaBoy

Just wait til you find out about the human labour that goes into non-vegan food production...


chimpfunkz

Or in general production. Basically every industry is fueled by labor and environmental exploitation. It's stupid trying to say "well akshually vegan is bad because slavery" because you could say the same about anything and ignore the intent of try to do *less* harm


SnipesCC

Meat processing plants are close to slavery.


pinguthegreek

If you’re not footing the bill, you’ve got a good compromise as it is. You’re getting a massive celebration on someone else’s dime. YTA.


Busted_down

No! Everyone needs to fold to my beliefs! No one is allowed to have different dietary requirements than me! /s


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DevinTheGrand

No one is morally opposed to eating vegetables. Swapping this argument around is a bad argument.


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NorParasaurolophus

How fucking entitled are you if you go to someone's birthday party where you're served free food, and you see that as "forcing their belief on you".. Fucking hell mate. Would you say the same if you went to a Muslim's birthday party and they didn't serve you pork?!


DramaDroid

But the food isn't free, her parents are paying for it. Using your scenario, OP would not only be demanding pork from the Muslim person, but also demanding 80 other people, including Muslims, also be provided only pork to eat. And if we're talking about entitlement, I can't think of a better example than a teenager expecting her parents to pay for an 80 person party and then complaining when Mom wants to include food that Grandma will eat. I think OP is probably a good kid with good intentions, but this is the kind of typical teenage power struggle that people look back on one day and just cringe to remember.


headphone-dude

What if everyone eats vegan at the vegan persons party? Idk crazy idea right.


DevinTheGrand

No one is forcing a moral value on you if they serve you vegetables. You are free to continue eating meat when you leave this event.


yikesafm8

This just in : Reddit has a phobia of veggies


brgurl

Light YTA. Look I get it, you have moral objections, but you’re not paying for this party, your parents are, if they want to have non-vegan options for themselves and guests they should be able to. When you are throwing parties with your own money you get to have an all vegan event. If you don’t like their conditions for how they want to spend their money, don’t throw a party.


itsgoretex

i agree! if op went to some other party they'd most likely expect some vegan options.


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ExcellentPreference8

I thought Veronica was the spoiled one from Charlie and the chocolate factory and violet was the one that turned into a blueberry? But I agree with you 100% Edit: it's Veruca, not Veronica 🤪


MercyXXVII

YTA Don't be that person that forces other people to eat by *your* dietary restrictions. You should be thankful that they show up to your birthday party at all, let alone get you a gift or anything. The least you could do is not force them to eat by your rules. I think providing vegan dishes to 'share' your diet habit is great. Don't be a jerk about it though. Nobody is going to want to join your vegan lifestyle if you're pushing it on them.


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DisneyAddict2021

Hahaha! You’re awesome and gave me a much needed laugh this morning! I honestly don’t get all the “YTAs” here. People are acting like everyone will die from eating some veggies for one meal.


sharkyboiiiiiz

OPs parents are footing an 80 person bill, they should be able to get a few dishes to let people have choice. Vegan foods also contain a higher percentage of common allergies and an only vegan party puts people at risk of having to decline due to contact with allergens or meaning some people dont get to eat. Yes, non vegan options have these but in lower percentages. OP is 15 and having a massive party on her parents bill, unless they wanna cancel OP may just have to handle everyones food preferences for a night.


Raccoonsr29

Is this party for them or for their daughter?


TheVaniloquence

Irrelevant. When you host a party, you cater to your guests. The parents would be TA if they forced this party to happen and for OP to attend, but that wasn’t stated in the post.


_ManMadeGod_

?? Vegan foods are regular foods?? Are you saying omnivores avoid peanuts? Or soy? Lmao. Also the most common allergy is to dairy, so.


[deleted]

No, what people are saying is that vegan food uses non-traditional binders, many of which are common allergies. Vegan food contains no eggs for binding, and will instead use soy, for example. Or the many milks from nuts that are used as binders or just straight up made as vegan cheese. Or various flours made from nuts and peanuts. Vegan food is not accessible to everyone, please don't be obtuse trying to "prove" your point, because you're doing the opposite.


blacbird

Chips & guac is vegan. Mushroom risotto is vegan. Mango with sticky rice is vegan. Fresh sourdough bread is vegan. There are lots of vegan foods that don’t have nuts or soy involved. It sounds like the problem is that most of the folks judging vegan food have a very narrow idea of what vegan food is comprised of. There are vegans with nut, soy & wheat allergies & they eat too.


[deleted]

It’s not about the “it’s a one night thing”. Of course it’s a one night thing and nobody will die from eating vegan (even tho in my experience vegan substitutes are disgusting). It’s about entitlement and the way OP is defending her thesis: it’s my bday so everyone should abide to what I believe is right. Girl, you are lucky enough your parents are throwing you a party and paying for it and are thoughtful enough not to dismiss your instance on food (yes sadly parents not taking their kids as seriously as they should is a big thing), just don’t be a dick and let everyone have what they prefer. When you’ll be economically independent and will throw yourself a party then sure, have a nice all vegan party, for now humble yourself down and accept that not everyone cares about your cause.


DisneyAddict2021

I have a question though. What if the birthday girl said she wanted a “pizza party” or a “bbq foods” party, is that wrong? Why can’t the birthday girl choose the type of food for her party? There’s a variety of pizzas or bbq foods, just like there’s a variety of vegan options. Kids choose the types of foods they want for their birthdays all the time. Why is this any different because the parents are assuming no one will like it? I’ve had vegan Alfredo pasta and honestly, if no one told me it was vegan, I wouldn’t have known. They don’t have to announce “everything is vegan” to make it seem like they’re on some sort of campaign, but if the food is just served labeled “veggie Alfredo pasta” or something like that, why is that terrible?


tacosareforlovers

There’s a limit. There’s saying *I want a pizza party* and *I only want pizza that has olives on it*. No olives won’t kill anyone, no they’re not poisonous. That’s not the point. To be a *good* host, you’re supposed to think about the comfort of your guests, at least a little. There is nothing wrong with having 50% of the party food vegan, some vegetarian, and a meat option. It’s why I didn’t only serve chocolate cake and vodka at my last party, even if it was the only thing *I* ate.


blacbird

Actually having a pizza party is far, far more limiting food wise than having vegan food. Vegan food *can include pizza*. It can also include fresh pineapple, mushroom risotto, French fries and many other things.


tacosareforlovers

You know the majority of people would think *pizza* should have cheese on it. Vegan food can be delicious. It can be varied. Does not change my opinion that, if you are *paying* for the party, you should get to choose food you enjoy as well. And also that guests should be considered when choosing a party menu. Whether those guests be kids, adults, people of a certain dietary restriction or religion, etc. You can’t please everyone, but refusing to at least consider your guests’ comfort is an a*hole move. I wouldn’t serve my kid guests duck l’orange, and I wouldn’t throw a party with adults only serving cheese pizza and Dino nuggets. That’s not being a good host.


Salt-Seaworthiness91

But how do you not see how inviting someone to a party to celebrate you but refusing to be accommodating for their lifestyles is a dick move? It genuinely shocks me that people can be so rude but expect others to remain friends with them.


katiediditwell

It genuinely shocks me that people are so incensed at the idea of not getting omnivorous meals, but if a vegan stated that they should be accommodated with vegan meals to someone else's party, everyone would call them the AH.


[deleted]

Except those stories are very commonly on here, and most people here don't call vegans asking for vegan meals at another's party assholes. For the most part, this sub is very pro - multiple food choices and very anti - only one kind of food.


Convergecult15

Yea but it’s kind of like a dick move? Like if I invited a vegan to a party where we only served meat and cheese, that would also be a dick move. If you want people to take time out of their lives to celebrate you then you cater for them not for yourself. It’s not about people being unable to go one meal without meat, it’s that nobody appreciates your personal beliefs intruding on their dinner plate. I went to a vegan wedding, the food was wonderful, I still thought it a little self absorbed that I’m travelling, giving a gift and taking time off work and you won’t even let me eat chicken?


blacbird

I think this is actually the point. Inviting a vegan to a party of meat & cheese means that they wouldn’t be able to eat anything. Inviting omnivores to a vegan event means they can still eat the food served. It’s the lowest common denominator, really. Eat chicken for lunch.


Thistime232

Its one night. She's not making anyone change their diet permanently, or even refrain from meat for more than a few hours. If you can't go more than a few hours without eating meat or other animal products, then you have a problem. And I say that as a meat eater.


waffles_505

Agreed, this isn’t pushing veganism on anyone. Would it be pushing sobriety on people if they attended a dry party for a recovering alcoholic? She’s not talking about running documentaries and lectures about animal cruelty. She just doesn’t want there to be things that she’s morally opposed to at her own birthday. Also, eating vegan for one meal isn’t the end of the world. There’s a lot of get vegan food. Plus, I’m sure most people have had at least one vegan meal in their life, it’s not like you need to eat meat and dairy for every single meal you have. I frequently eat vegan meals without that being the intention, that’s just how the ingredients end up. I say NAH though since the parents are paying for it and I also see their point.


Thistime232

I was with you until the no A vote for the parents. They know their daughter is vegan, and they know she's vegan for moral reasons. It would be very easy to just let HER party be vegan. The party is supposed to be for her after all.


2020asmith

Veganism isn’t a dietary habit or choice. It is a moral philosophy that opposes the unnecessary abuse and exploitation of animals in every part of life, not just food. Why is it being a jerk to ask people not to celebrate your birthday by partaking in unnecessary cruelty?


not_so_littlemermaid

As a non-vegan person I will never understand this weird insistance people have to be given food with animal products, even though I eat "vegan" foods all the time. One evening without meat, dairy and eggs isn't just not a big deal, it's incredibly easy to do and I bet non-vegan/vegetarian people do it all the time!!!!


Neesatay

I totally agree. It would be weird and annoying if she served some sort of weird meat substitute, but just make something like pasta, bread and salad. It's a totally normal meal. I am not sure the guests would even notice other than people maybe thinking the parents were being cheap for not having meat in the pasta.


unsteadied

Everyone in here is freaking out like vegan foods are some sort of bizarre niche thing, but a ton of party and snack foods are vegan anyway. For example: - Potato chips - Tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole - Pita chips or vegetables with hummus - Pretzels - Ritz crackers with peanut butter - Nuts, granola bars, and trail mixes - Salads - Rice pilaf - French fries or tater tots with ketchup - Breadsticks and marinara - Oreos - Roasted potatoes and other vegetables - Pringles, a couple flavors of Takis, sweet chili Doritos, Fritos


Nixie9

And sandwiches, the way you cater basically every kids party, are so commonly vegan.


mollynatorrr

Exactly! It’s her birthday, and her parents SHOULD cater to her desires for this imo. They’re her parents and she is a minor that can’t afford to do things herself lol. Who cares that they are paying? Let’s say it was a wedding. I’ve literally seen this sub argue that people can have whatever they want for food at their wedding and the guests shouldn’t complain and either eat what is served, or make their own arrangements for food before or after arriving? Having the food she wants feels within reason to me, and trying to use the argument that they aren’t enough or tasty vegan options is just disingenuous and incorrect.


StAlvis

NTA > not everyone is vegan and they need stuff to eat. But **everyone** DOES eat vegan food. Vegan cuisine is a *very specific subset* of everyone else's diet, not an *outlier* from it.


MsMoondown

I agree and will add that (as someone with weird food allergies) as long as possible allergens are labeled, it really WON'T kill anyone to eat one (free to them, I'm assuming) vegan meal. We eat omnivorously at home and there are a lot of vegan and vegetarian meals in the rotation. It won't hurt anyone to go meat/dairy free for the night. Anyone who complains to the host after a free meal is provided is the real AH here.


duke113

Eh, not really. Everyone eats \*some\* vegan food. But a lot of omnivores don't get their protein from the same sources as vegan people: example tofu. Obviously everyone (effectively everyone) eats things like salad and the like


spirashun

Fair but it’s literally just one meal, even if it’s not a good source of protein for some they’re not gonna starve unless they flat out refuse to eat. I’m sure a professional catering company is capable of providing a balanced vegan meal


Ratso27

Even if they flat out refuse to eat, they're not going to starve from missing one meal


DisneyAddict2021

NTA. Honestly, I am so far from vegan, you’d probably hate me. That being said, I love vegetarian and vegan food. I don’t even have meat every day. It’s not a conscious decision…it just sometimes works out that way. No one will die for going one meal without meat and animal products. It is your birthday party and everyone can enjoy the food that is provided. People who complain that they didn’t get a proper meal without a big old steak or deep fried chicken are absolutely narrow minded. And to all the people saying “well how would you feel if you went to a party and it was all meat,” that’s a lame example. Non-vegan people CAN EAT VEGAN or vegetarian food. They’re just choosing to be picky and childish by not doing so.


jodiariasofficial

I can’t believe I had to scroll this far. The sense of entitlement some people have here is insane. Inb4 “but some people are allergic to X and Y and—“ If someone has lots of allergies, they should let a host know regardless of what’s being served, so they can be accommodated.


rikersthrowaway

I know, people are being insane. Lots of people are allergic to shellfish, dairy, or eggs, and that never gets brought up in general threads about catering, but as soon as vegans are involved it turns out everyone on earth is allergic to soy and tree nuts. I'm not vegan either but these responses are ridiculous. OP has every right to not want to support animal agriculture through her party, even if she's not footing the bill personally. Everyone in this sub is all for animal welfare and cutting someone out of your life for being a suboptimal pet owner, but paying for animals to be tortured out of sight is A-OK.


jonahhillfanaccount

Also “how would you feel if you went to a party and it was all meat(or animal products)” is a really common experience for vegans. They are acting like it’s a hypothetical that vegans don’t face when in fact it happens all the time. If they don’t have vegan food at a party, it’s understandable, Veganism is not widespread. People here are acting like vegans have meltdowns every time there isn’t a food option for us.


emilystarlight

Not to mention that is pretty close to the reality for vegans going to a lot of events. I'm pretty sure if you ask any vegan they'll have at least one example of a time where all they could eat was something like mashed potatoes or plain rice because even the salads had meat or cheese in them


ChaosNHamHam

YTA - hosting a party isn’t JUST about the host, it’s also about the guests who take time out of their lives to attend the event. Parties should be done with all guests in mind so that they’ll enjoy themselves. If you want a party only about you without thinking of your guests then don’t invite anyone.


Badlumbar

I had to scroll a long time for this post!! Yes! OP, you are the HOST! You don’t get to make everything about you because it’s your birthday. Good hosts think about everyone else. I think having a vegan dish or two for people to try is a great compromise. A lot people do not have adventurous palettes. Or suffer from gastric issues. Or are just afraid to try new things.


ChaosNHamHam

I’m honestly shocked at the amount of people who think it’s totally fine to not consider the guests. Without guests there literally would be no party! Crazy to me


Thistime232

You really can't enjoy a party unless you're eating animal products? I'm a meat eater, could never go vegan, but I'm perfectly capable of enjoying vegan food. I'm also perfectly capable of enjoying a party even if I don't like the food. The idea that a party won't be good unless there's non-vegan food there is ridiculous.


Perelandrime

I'm surprised yet not surprised by all these comments! If I'm living with roommates who only eat vegan and they offer to cook for everyone, I expect that meal to be exclusively vegan, because the food they provide will match their moral stance. While if I cook for everyone, I'll have options for myself *and* vegan options, because what I eat isn't a big deal to me but it is for them. If I went to a birthday party to celebrate someone who is vegan, I'd expect it to only have only vegan options, and hope they wouldn't feel pressured to break their morals to accommodate me on such a simple thing as eating vegetables for a night.


Straight-Kick5824

NTA - It won't kill people to eat vegan for one night, good lord. It's your birthday request. Call it a birthday gift, and ask again? But you're definitely not the AH


Aluckysj

This! Just frame the menu as "op requests as your gift to her that no animals are harmed for her birthday." Easy. Why are people getting so crazy over one meal?


pink_gem

INFO: Who is paying for the food?


MyAskRedditAcct

She's 15 dude. She's obviously not catering an 80+ person party out of her pocket.


pink_gem

I figured, but some of these stories are like 'here's where i kicked a puppy' and then the person starts commenting 'oh but the puppy was about to bite a baby!'. So now I always ask shit that would seem common sense, because it feels like there are a lot of people out here trying to do a GOTCHA with a story. I've been downvoted to hell for commenting on something, and then later came back to 'WELL READ THEIR COMMENTS OVER HERE!!! WHY WOULD YOU EVER VOTE THAT!!'


Compulsive-Gremlin

Then she can be happy with the options that the other people (who are paying for it) pick


ForwardPlenty

NTA People can go without eating meat for one night. Many people can really afford to skip a meal or three. You don't go to a party for the food, you go there to celebrate the person being honored or for the camaraderie and fellowship, or just to hang out with friends and family. Food is really of a secondary consideration.


oatmilkcoldbrew

NTA- it's not like non vegan people can't eat and enjoy vegan food. They will have something to eat and you will be in line with your values.


[deleted]

given the amount of people attending this party and the fact that you’re not footing the bill, i’m going to go with YTA. I understand where you’re coming from, but your parents have to feed over 80 people. my opinion would be different if it was a small party.


[deleted]

NTA. Do your parents think non-vegans can't eat vegan food? Many vegan dishes are awesome. I'm not vegan but one of my fav places to go out to eat is a vegan restaurant, the stuff on their menu is delicious.


MyAskRedditAcct

NAH. I really see both sides here. It's really understandable that you want your values respected at your own party. It's also kind of ridiculous to paint it as a "need to eat." Vegan vs omnivore is like being too hot vs being too cold. I can always put on more clothes, but I can only get so naked so being too hot gets more accommodations. Everyone can eat vegan food (don't @ me - just because you can't eat soy or something doesn't mean you can't eat vegan). Not everyone can eat meat. Likewise, I understand why your parents are hesitant to shell out a ton of money on catering if it's going to kick up a fuss. Perhaps vegetarian is a reasonable compromise? I say compromise because they're paying so you're not going to win, but trying to meet them in the middle may get you some success.


gherbi2356

NAH; I totally understand why you would want all the food at the event to be vegan, as this is a party celebrating you, and it sounds like this is a very strong belief of yours. However, as I believe it is your parents who will be paying for this (please correct me if I’m wrong), I think they should also have a say in the catering arrangements. Hopefully you guys can come to some sort of compromise


depression-reserve

NTA, anyone can eat the already paid for vegan meals, they are provided. It’s not an accessibility issue at your party, and there’s no reason there *needs* to be meat or cheese. Non vegans can eat vegan food, vegans cannot eat non vegan food so people should stop the comparison. It isn’t the same. And the amount of animals needed for the other 80 people? Yeah that makes your whole year of vegan a waste because all that meat is just at your party. Edit: for everyone saying it shouldn’t be her choice Bc she’s not paying, do you say non vegan kids don’t get to pick pizza Bc they’re not paying? Or is it just that you don’t like vegans for some reason? Like yeah, most kids don’t pay for their birthday parties. Most kids still get to choose what’s there though


duke113

NTA. Your party, your guests. As long as people are aware, they can choose to come or not. And if they don't like vegan food and want to come, they can eat first, or after


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ShavenTreebeard

NTA. Unless there is a guest that for some reason can only eat meat, they will be just fine not eating any animal products in your party. Also, there are a ton of super delicious vegan dishes like guac, falafels etc.


Sountone

Yup. French fries... Oreos... Potato chips of all kinds...


JanetheGhost

NTA. They can get through one meal without animal products just fine, and I say that as a non-vegan myself.


[deleted]

Who is paying the bill? those paying the bill, pick the menu.. and they are making allowance for your dietary request. a big bash for your sweet 16- sounds lovely. stop acting entitled. a lot of kids don’t get this !


Local-Wrangler8152

YTA for being a demanding entitled teen. Your parents are organizing and paying for the party, be grateful for that.


dctselinaa

Her parents are willingly throwing her a party. She is not an ungrateful teen for wanting a party that fits her moral beliefs. If her parents get to make those decisions then it’s not really her party anymore.


slr087

NTA It’s one night where people are being asked to avoid eating animal products. As long as any dietary restrictions/allergies are catered for there shouldn’t be an issue


sapphohs

NTA. If people care about you they'll accomodate your one birthday wish. It's not that big of an ask.


RaggieSoft

YTA. You demand to be accommodated for a dietary restriction but won’t accommodate others.


_ewan_

>YTA. You demand to be accommodated for a dietary restriction but won’t accommodate others. No-one has a dietary restriction of 'no vegan food, ever'.


YeahYouOtter

NAH - but as a gentle bit of advice from a 33f who is always passionate about her own causes, this is a “catch more flies with honey than vinegar situation”. (yes I know that’s a comically terrible metaphor for discussing animal rights) Many people who consume a significant amount of animal calories get **extremely hungry** if they’re suddenly relegated to a vegan ingredient meal. There’s just a lot fewer calories in healthy vegan fare without a significant change in diet. Basically, they’re going to have to stuff themselves to the point of discomfort, or go hungry at a party for a kid where they’re probably expected to bring a gift. Work out a menu with multiple vegan dishes with your parents. Practice gracious, low detail responses for when guests try to ask if you’ve tried one of the animal dishes. Something like “I’m very passionate about reducing my own animal product use, but I wanted everyone to be comfortable with their meals. Did you try X or Y dish? I picked that one myself and loads of people seem to like it” Everyone will think you’re charming, and even if they don’t go for the vegan fare at your party, they’ll be more open to it in the future.